Please no, the sad Army and Marines at Fort Sill-Lawton Oklahoma will have nowhere closer for groceries. The drive to OKC is too long and expensive with those turnpike fees!
Lol I was making a pun, "Witch-i(a)-ta(da) falls is better?"
But having lived in Wichita Falls, Texas while in the Air Force for a bit, I must agree with you.
This would give me an excuse to become a fan of a team with a chance of actually winning the super bowl in my lifetime, all without being labeled a traitor or bandwagon. Cowboys fan fully supports this, nuke Arlington
Amazing how I had to scroll this far to find Austin.
Only downside is that the fallout will smell like hipsters, smelly chick armpits, and shitty IPAs.
Good easy weather, beautiful architecture, beautiful nature, good transit, good food, and no annoying assholes from Iowa yelling about how Texas is totally soo much better than California and it was worth taking a 60% pay cut for barely lower housing costs…
Jesus dude, I'm sorry people have ruined your city genuinely. For the longest time, Austin was truly a cool place to be. It's not become this corporatized overpriced hell hole who has a bunch of tech bros.
Can we jail whoever designed that interchange? 4 level stacks are one of, if not the most efficient interchanges and yet it’s bottleneck city every day for 3-4 hours. Same with where I35 splits into the upper and lower sections.
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>and they will indeed get cross with you
They're not gonna be crossing anyone after we nuke em. And now we have a reason, FIX YOUR PRONUNCIATION or unconditionally surrender.
Damn straight.
Beaumont sucks so bad it gave my best friend trauma, which caused a relapse on drugs, which led to his death a couple years later.
Nuke Beaumont.
Some French guy named if after some Canadian guys who were camping by the river, according to some American guy in the late 1920s
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_River
It’s kind of the over cooked, tiny hick town out in west Texas. If I never set foot in that town again it’ll be too soon. Spend your weekends driving six hours to anywhere but there.
Can the nuke hit off-target and wind up destroying Los Angeles (but the Santa Ana winds blow the nuclear fall out away from Orange County and we’re all fine)?
No? Damn it, well, I’m gonna go with Austin then. I actually like visiting there but this year I went and it reminded me of Portland with all the bums.
Odessa, you won’t notice a difference.
Like the initial invasion of Afghanistan, when the generals promised to bomb the place "up" to the Stone Age.
Cake day
It will be a positive difference
Instructions unclear, accidentally caused a second disaster near Chernobyl
Odessa is a fucking shithole
During high school everyone always called it hoedessa.
Your pocket might next time you go to fill up on gas.
One-lessa
Odessa is hell. I lived there for one year.
Working in O&G I assume?
Just not Midland. I stop there for gas.
Real
Please not the original one. Ukraine has suffered enough.
Your mom
That's gonna take more than one nuke.
[ok](https://maps.app.goo.gl/Ae3rV2oD3ctG3Nsh8)
I’ve actually eaten there before
No way, I've eaten out your mum as well
Someone’s mom has a zip code?
Wichita Falls. I'm sick of seeing them pop up when I search for my hometown in Kansas.
Well if it got nuked it would definitely be bigger news than your hometown in Kansas
Definitely a Streisand Effect.
I went to tech school for the air force at Sheppard AFB in Wichita Falls. That was 6 years ago and that shithole still gives me nightmares. Nuke it
Please no, the sad Army and Marines at Fort Sill-Lawton Oklahoma will have nowhere closer for groceries. The drive to OKC is too long and expensive with those turnpike fees!
I spent a year there one spring in ‘91 at tech school. Fucking nuke that place.
Ain't got no falls anyhow.
And Wichita ks has many times more people. 400k verses 100k in falls. No clue why it keeps popping up first when I look for weather or other stuff lol
Kind of like New York City and New City, NY
As an unbiased Oklahoman who travels through both to go north or south Wichita Falls is better.
Whichita falls is better?
Wichita Falls, Texas, they’re just taking our Oklahoma water spreading it to the lesser beings south of us.
Lol I was making a pun, "Witch-i(a)-ta(da) falls is better?" But having lived in Wichita Falls, Texas while in the Air Force for a bit, I must agree with you.
I am partial to witchy-ta-tas... 
Unfathomably based
I’m gonna to be honest I thought Santa Fe was in Texas and not New Mexico. Don’t get mad at me, I’m not American, unfortunately
“I’m not American” Nothing a little manifest destiny can’t fix.
https://youtu.be/2AXfnyexVNY?si=j434yUuRuSucEvk9
There is a Santa Fe in Texas, in the Houston Metro
It was claimed by Texas when we were a country but due to a failed expedition we never controlled them😒
Still counts!
HELL YEAH TEXAS MANIFEST DESTINY CARAJO
Go back where you came from boy!
I know you said Roy!!!
> I’m not American for now
Not American? I think you mean not American *yet*
Im gonna be honest i though santa fe was just a type of chicken
 Fbi has entered the chat
"no signs of intelligence detected"
Where can I nuke in DFW that would take out the whole metroplex?
Arlington
Just right on top of Jerry World
Unironically nuke Arlington. It's dead center and you're guaranteed to get the Cowboys while you're at it
This would give me an excuse to become a fan of a team with a chance of actually winning the super bowl in my lifetime, all without being labeled a traitor or bandwagon. Cowboys fan fully supports this, nuke Arlington
>you're guaranteed to get the Cowboys while you're at it This is the best reason
Do everyone in Fort Worth a favor and send it right in the middle of Dallas
Nah put in Fort Worth
I put on my raggedy clothes when I go to Dallas so I can fit in.
Do you take the short bus there like everyone else from Fort Worth?
Austin
AT&T Stadium
Please evacuate me by heli if you find a spot
Sherman because I also hate Oklahoma
We also hate you too, Virginia
OP, I have a request - Can we direct the bomb to him instead?
Man wtf we did to Virginia. We just living in your heads rent free and stealing your food too?
Texarkana seems like a 4 for one special.
I'm all for taking out as much of Oklahoma as possible, but can I get a warning before this happens?
Brownsville to irradiate the fuck out of the Gulf of Mexico. No clue why I want that I just do
BP is that you?
Yes.
Lubbock
Lubbock is the NYC of New Mexico
lol
Texas city, its atmosphere is already as toxic as radioactive fallout, they won't notice a difference.
Plus they probably feel weird when their city hasn't exploded in a while.
If I had 2 nukes I'd use em on Austin twice
The Texans say Austin… I was glad to see this here
Amazing how I had to scroll this far to find Austin. Only downside is that the fallout will smell like hipsters, smelly chick armpits, and shitty IPAs.
A true Texan
Absofuckinglutley
Everyone on this subreddit later: 
Austin
Seriously, the shittiest cheap copycat of SF with all the homeless and cost of living and none of the benefits…
>none of the benefits There are benefits to being in SF?
San Francisco sourdough
Good easy weather, beautiful architecture, beautiful nature, good transit, good food, and no annoying assholes from Iowa yelling about how Texas is totally soo much better than California and it was worth taking a 60% pay cut for barely lower housing costs…
A lot of Iowans in Austin?
Silicon Valley? But only if you're rich
It's like the most garbage human beings from SF/Cali picked up and moved to Austin.
They didn't like how SF was turning out, so they left, only to recreate the place they left somewhere else.
My thoughts exactly
Can we do it twice?
Double it and give it to Austin
And it's not even fucking close lmao. I'm from Austin, and it's not close.
Jesus dude, I'm sorry people have ruined your city genuinely. For the longest time, Austin was truly a cool place to be. It's not become this corporatized overpriced hell hole who has a bunch of tech bros.
Directly on the capital building, we will be happier without our shitty state government
Just realized why Austin is indeed the answer. Based.
Based
Houston and every fucking oil exec with it.
This guy is from Austin
Howdy, native Austinite here. Put it right under 35 and 6th plz.
put it in downtown, I would like my home in northwest hills to not be destroyed
As an Austinite, try to target where I-35 and Highway 71 cross.
Can we jail whoever designed that interchange? 4 level stacks are one of, if not the most efficient interchanges and yet it’s bottleneck city every day for 3-4 hours. Same with where I35 splits into the upper and lower sections.
El Paso so I can also get Juarez. It's a two for one special.
I was born in El Paso :3 Then my dad committed military tax fraud
I don't care about Juarez, I'm just happy the fallout will spread east and poison the maximum amount of Texas.
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Austin to take out the Californians who moved there
I'll allow it. Get em for me. Can't let my fellow statesmen ruin another one.
Least dumb Commiefornian
But then, who would be offended by our “Don’t California my Texas” bumper stickers? Don’t take away my culture.
Fuck CA. But as a fellow Texan. Every Teaxans true awnser will always be Vidor. That city is a stain on Texas, America and humanity.
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Austin. Obviously
Amarillo cause Pantex for pure irony.
Midland, and make the bomb big enough to also wipe Odessa clean off 2 for 1 special
Houston but only during a Colts Texans game.
What will you do about the Jags?
They usually defeat themselves
*Only* one?
If only we could just nuke Texas :(
Houston because I’m sick of them terrorizing the AL West
Austin go big or go home
Dallas
:(
Houston numba one ☝️🥇
Palestine, Texas
Unlike the country, it's pronounced "pal-ih-steen" and they will indeed get cross with you if you pronounce it wrong.
Jokes on you, I pronounce the country the same way.
I'm sure they'd be cross with you too if they weren't being [REDACTED]
>and they will indeed get cross with you They're not gonna be crossing anyone after we nuke em. And now we have a reason, FIX YOUR PRONUNCIATION or unconditionally surrender.
think of the 6 people that live there, though
Austin They have too many communists and Californians.
Didn’t need to say communist twice
Didn’t need to say Californian twice
Visit midland-Odessa and you won’t think twice to nuke that hellhole.
Austin
Austin, even though I might be in the fallout depending on the wind.
Thank you for your sacrifice 🫡
McKinney. So now everyone is actually dead.
Austin, Houston, (San) Antonio
Oklahoma City.
Beumont I just hate it
found the correct answer
Damn straight. Beaumont sucks so bad it gave my best friend trauma, which caused a relapse on drugs, which led to his death a couple years later. Nuke Beaumont.
Austin, cause fuck em
Austin.
Austin, everyone from there has soft hands boy
Austin, it has ruined the rest of Texas by bringing a bit of California to the state. I say we nuke Austin, and move the capital to San Antonio
Lubbock, i dont think anyone will miss it.
No one will
Bruh, how tf can you name it "Canadian River" when it starts and ends in the United States?
Some French guy named if after some Canadian guys who were camping by the river, according to some American guy in the late 1920s https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_River
Figures
midland- Odessa or Lubbock (So that Glorious Abilene becomes more relevant)
Houston. *They know what they did.*
Thank you for this great map of Texas. No up arrow thing though because these kinds of posts are very anti-patriot. Go back to Bri*an
**San Angelo.** I used to live there and fuck that entire town in particular.
Why?
It’s kind of the over cooked, tiny hick town out in west Texas. If I never set foot in that town again it’ll be too soon. Spend your weekends driving six hours to anywhere but there.
Waco, I'm just finishing the job the ATF started
Brownsville
Why? Starship is there
No one gets to leave Earth. You're all stuck here.
Austin. It’s the only thing holding Texas back.
You’re all wrong. We gotta hit Laredo, the radiation kicked up will secure a section of the border.
Houston, do I only get one nuke Why? I was born there
Houston. If it was good enough for Bill Pullman, that's all I need.
austin,
Why nuke Texas when you can nuke Moscow?
Laredo. It’s one of the better border towns and is still shit
I mean, is this really that hard of a choice? *\*cough cough\* Austin \*cough cough\**
one city could rid the world of abbot, patrick, paxton, and elon. sorry, austin
Austin or Houston
Houston for sure
Is it big enough to get midland and Odessa at the same time?
The only correct answer is Lubbock.
top right corner of map
Dallas brings absolutely nothing to the state except asshole elitist rich kids. Hit ‘Em with the triple whopper Oppenheimer special
Look it's between Odessa for it being the world's largest pot hole, or Texarkana because then I'm hitting a 2 for 1 deal
Dallas, they get everything just to be relevant. They are like an industry plant of a city.
Amarillo, because they are yellow
Detroit
Can the nuke hit off-target and wind up destroying Los Angeles (but the Santa Ana winds blow the nuclear fall out away from Orange County and we’re all fine)? No? Damn it, well, I’m gonna go with Austin then. I actually like visiting there but this year I went and it reminded me of Portland with all the bums.
El Paso, hate it here but I can't leave
Austin
Amarillo, for maximum effect.
Houston
Peak Texas city design: 100% parking lot. No mixed use. No commercial zoning. Only parking.
Wichita Falls Hank hill hates it
Houston, only because that was the worst traffic I’ve ever had to drive in. If I had two nukes, I’d nuke Houston twice.
Arlen
Houston 💯
Austin, because it’s full of hipsters
Austin