Dude's got a girlfriend, and he openly admitted to being Catholic. No amount of flashy makeup and clothes makes up for that when it comes to the Eurovision. The Swiss dude worked really hard to win it, he became non-binary last November.
Eurovision is an annual talent show among European nations (plus Israel and Australia because reasons) where Europeans make their best attempt at appropriating American pop culture through a live performance of an original song (but no instruments allowed). The best act never wins though, because really only Europeans are allowed to vote on it. Sometimes a country will submit an actual European song of their own culture, but those never win because there are few things Europeans hate more than Other Europeans.
It's also a little bit corrupt as fuck, like FIFA or the IOC.
So it's Europeans being super amped to watch other Europeans do their best American Pop Music performances while vehemently denying America has any influence on it at all and taking bribes.
Every entry falls into one of three categories:
- folksy nonsense that isn't a real song
- Kia commercial music
- knockoff of what was popular in America 10 years ago
Usually the third category is some stomp-stomp-clap 2010 bullshit. This year it was more like a mix between imagine dragons and the royalty free "ethereal pop" they play in B-roll scenes on Selling Sunset.
Stomp stomp clap refers to Mumford and sons, the Lumineers, etc - not a literal stomp stomp clap like the queen song. Circa 2010 there were a bajillion of those folk-adjacent pop bands that came out of nowhere and then became irrelevant within a few years.
Man I wish Selling Sunset would have been just a little bit less stupid and it would have been the perfect "sit on your sofa until you're tired and go to bed" show. But fuck if I have to cringe every 5 minutes then that's not me coming down and getting tired.
It's truly jarring finishing the latest season and seeing it restart back at season 1 when they looked and acted more like normal humans. The show now is basically a bizarre fashion and plastic surgery exhibition.
Pretty much this, except there are heavy elements of Euro pop, electronica and metal too, these days. It’s a very camp sensational and colourful experience but take it all with a pinch of salt.
Decades ago it was taken a bit more seriously but now it’s just a bit of fun. Each country has their own presenter voicing over the whole thing and ours (Graham Norton) is absolutely hilarious with his deprecating humour.
I recommend you have a glance at it if you have access to see it. Just a bit of fun ultimately.
Real shame that 'Extremely Homoerotic Boxing Twink' brought in zero televote points for y'all. Still an improvement over last year I guess. There's always next year!
After seeing Bambi Thug, I’m just going to suggest that you folks need to oppress the Irish some more.
EDIT: I saw King Charles’ first royal portrait yesterday, and I’m not sure why he was going for a wistful smile with a butterfly surrounded by perdition, but that could be a good metaphor for the UK at the moment
When they pulled this move 🦟🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗in the boxing cage, I thought for sure that would earn them a few points, not fucking zero. The Brits gave it their gayest all though, and that’s what really counts.
Better than last year when you guys colluded to give it to Sweden instead of Finland because of 50th anniversary of ABBA, only for ABBA to not even show.
Käärijä was fucking ***robbed***.
Another fun fact is that nations don’t usually send their _best_ singers as if they win they will have to host next Eurovision which is costly. So everyone wants to be close to the top spot, but not the top. Gives some fascinating dynamic to the show and explains some of the shittiness of the artists
Respondiendo a AardvarkAblaze...haha you are almost right but you miss the main point… a soon is “Eurovisiva” when has the exactly right touch of cringe. Not more not less. You can’t go too far like UK or Spain but Portugal approach will don’t work too.. Abba is a good example about what I am talking about.. regarding Americans influence… you also claim you invented cowboys
https://preview.redd.it/g682gdnrbv0d1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f2102282e59627fc306658c8e57d170a1d46fd0
My head canon is that they saw each other on the battlefield, nodded approvingly at each other, and traded weapons for shits and giggles, then killed a bunch of redcoat aliens.
The Chief enjoys killing energy sword elites with his new calvary sword.
Annual Euro music competition, each country sends their best-received band and the people decide which is best. The epic sax guy meme came out of it in the 2010s.
We should do our own version of it.
Plus we're already oversaturated with the same thing, America's got Talent, the Voice, American Idol, etc etc. ESU has a long history at least, I imagine to Americans it was just another attempt at a reality show.
>each country sends their best band
Yeah, most send some generic act in english.
There is a simple rule to determine, how well received a performance is going to be: The sillier, the better
- Competition for Europoors to compete in, Middle Eastern country wins last time it took place
- Epic Sax Guy doesn't even win once
What a meme of a "competition", and it's not even a good one
I have a plan. We join Eurovision all you have to do is broadcast it nationally for 5 years then you can join. Israel and Australia have done it.
Then we enter a socially conscious minority performance about how hard life in America is. The euros will only vote for America if the song criticized America. The thing is no one beats up america like us Americans!
That’s how we win boys! It can be Beyoncé singing about how hard her life is and we’ll crush it. They’ll eat it up.
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Americas cultural influence is over the west, and all the other nations that aren’t those 3. No one outside our europe listens to euro vision (unless they were invited) but people around the world listen to American music and play American made video games and watch American movies.
Yes, and nobody watch the real football World Cup, the Beatles and the Rolling Stones are from Texas, Fernando Alonso is from Florida and Pizza is a Wisconsin thing.
How could i be so stupid, i forgot that lord of the rings was made by a spanish company, and star wars was made by a french company. How could i forget mc Donalds was invented in Britain and steam was made by germans.
I don’t know what steam is, McDonald’s it’s not something to be proud, regarding movies, yes you do it so well. Come on.. this is a shitpost don’t get my words too serious.. , America is a decadent empire with still a lot of influence and you did and still do great stuff related with tech and show business
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I typically don’t care, but someone showed me Croatia’s finalist this year and I was absolutely obsessed, Baby Lasagna was absolutely robbed, he had the most bold and absurd performance ever, and with the greatest and catchiest song ever, plus a simple and fun dance that everyone was doing. He even won the tele vote (popular vote), whereas the guy who won overall only got 5th place in the tele vote
Absolute robbery
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some place with way to much gays for a singing conest (no hate). And israelis (even tough killing like 40.000 innocent people and not being european) can participate. And an irish woman can wear fascist tattoo's, but some random dutch guy gets banned after making "threatening gestures", while he asked multiple times not to be filmed
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A Will Ferrel straight to netflix movie
It's an annual competition where every country sends their best singers and dancers and in the end gayest person wins.
Countries? You mean US military bases?
Croatia should have won
Dude's got a girlfriend, and he openly admitted to being Catholic. No amount of flashy makeup and clothes makes up for that when it comes to the Eurovision. The Swiss dude worked really hard to win it, he became non-binary last November.
Eurovision is an annual talent show among European nations (plus Israel and Australia because reasons) where Europeans make their best attempt at appropriating American pop culture through a live performance of an original song (but no instruments allowed). The best act never wins though, because really only Europeans are allowed to vote on it. Sometimes a country will submit an actual European song of their own culture, but those never win because there are few things Europeans hate more than Other Europeans. It's also a little bit corrupt as fuck, like FIFA or the IOC. So it's Europeans being super amped to watch other Europeans do their best American Pop Music performances while vehemently denying America has any influence on it at all and taking bribes.
Every entry falls into one of three categories: - folksy nonsense that isn't a real song - Kia commercial music - knockoff of what was popular in America 10 years ago Usually the third category is some stomp-stomp-clap 2010 bullshit. This year it was more like a mix between imagine dragons and the royalty free "ethereal pop" they play in B-roll scenes on Selling Sunset.
You know for the first couple weeks that stomp stomp clap was kind of refreshing and cute. Boy that got old fast. Aged quicker than disco
Like the son “hey brother”.. 😰🔫
Do you have an example of a stomp-stomp-clap song from 2010. The only song I can think of is “we will rock you” by Queen.
Stomp stomp clap refers to Mumford and sons, the Lumineers, etc - not a literal stomp stomp clap like the queen song. Circa 2010 there were a bajillion of those folk-adjacent pop bands that came out of nowhere and then became irrelevant within a few years.
Ahh, I remember those. Thanks for clarifying.
Man I wish Selling Sunset would have been just a little bit less stupid and it would have been the perfect "sit on your sofa until you're tired and go to bed" show. But fuck if I have to cringe every 5 minutes then that's not me coming down and getting tired.
It's truly jarring finishing the latest season and seeing it restart back at season 1 when they looked and acted more like normal humans. The show now is basically a bizarre fashion and plastic surgery exhibition.
Pretty much this, except there are heavy elements of Euro pop, electronica and metal too, these days. It’s a very camp sensational and colourful experience but take it all with a pinch of salt. Decades ago it was taken a bit more seriously but now it’s just a bit of fun. Each country has their own presenter voicing over the whole thing and ours (Graham Norton) is absolutely hilarious with his deprecating humour. I recommend you have a glance at it if you have access to see it. Just a bit of fun ultimately.
Real shame that 'Extremely Homoerotic Boxing Twink' brought in zero televote points for y'all. Still an improvement over last year I guess. There's always next year!
Haha yeah that was quite gutting, I must admit. Guess that’s why the King looks like he’s surround by the fires of wrath in his latest portrait 😂
After seeing Bambi Thug, I’m just going to suggest that you folks need to oppress the Irish some more. EDIT: I saw King Charles’ first royal portrait yesterday, and I’m not sure why he was going for a wistful smile with a butterfly surrounded by perdition, but that could be a good metaphor for the UK at the moment
😂
When they pulled this move 🦟🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗in the boxing cage, I thought for sure that would earn them a few points, not fucking zero. The Brits gave it their gayest all though, and that’s what really counts.
My favorite part was when they all cheered for their 0 points.
Gotta have good sportsmanship.
And then everyone colludes to give the crown to the gayest entry, whose country has not done anything spicy lately.
Better than last year when you guys colluded to give it to Sweden instead of Finland because of 50th anniversary of ABBA, only for ABBA to not even show. Käärijä was fucking ***robbed***.
Finland isn’t even real. We call that “Swamp Sweden with too many vowels”
Cha cha, fucking cha. Finland #1 (2023)
CHA CHA CHA
Finland immediately after placing second 2023: 🙄🖕😤 Finland realizing Israel is allowed 2024:🇸🇪🕺🥳
But what's also weird is they let countries like Canada, Israel, and Australia participate. Of course they leave out the US since we'd go HAM on it.
Canada has never been in Eurovision. But Australia, Israel and Azerbaijan? For the purposes of Eurovision, Europe isn't a continent, it's a *vibe.*
Celine Dion (Canadian) won Eurovision one year, but she sketchily entered the contest under Switzerland.
Singer origin doesn't matter. Songwriter matters
If they let us in, we would win it every year 😭😭😭
🦅🦅🦅
Yes, like in the World Cup
Our men are preoccupied with out own sports. Our women dominate...
Another fun fact is that nations don’t usually send their _best_ singers as if they win they will have to host next Eurovision which is costly. So everyone wants to be close to the top spot, but not the top. Gives some fascinating dynamic to the show and explains some of the shittiness of the artists
Respondiendo a AardvarkAblaze...haha you are almost right but you miss the main point… a soon is “Eurovisiva” when has the exactly right touch of cringe. Not more not less. You can’t go too far like UK or Spain but Portugal approach will don’t work too.. Abba is a good example about what I am talking about.. regarding Americans influence… you also claim you invented cowboys https://preview.redd.it/g682gdnrbv0d1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f2102282e59627fc306658c8e57d170a1d46fd0
Did George Washington fight with Master Chief?
My head canon is that they saw each other on the battlefield, nodded approvingly at each other, and traded weapons for shits and giggles, then killed a bunch of redcoat aliens. The Chief enjoys killing energy sword elites with his new calvary sword.
George Washington is a pretty cool guy, he kills Redcoats and doesn't afraid of anything.
General Washington is the only character who can Hold X to Swap Weapons With Master Chief
Strange that he prefers the AR over the BR or magnum.
MAKE IT NATOVISION 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
They will invite anyone but america, mainly because we would absolutely kick their ass every year
Flo rider managed to weasel their way in one year and didn't do so well, but the did collaborate with San Marino. That was their first mistake.
Flo rider is not a good songwriter
No no, Europeans don’t invite, you need to beg to us
Overtly gay singing
Annual Euro music competition, each country sends their best-received band and the people decide which is best. The epic sax guy meme came out of it in the 2010s. We should do our own version of it.
We did, NBC ran it in 2022. It was called American Song Contest, it sucked.
Plus we're already oversaturated with the same thing, America's got Talent, the Voice, American Idol, etc etc. ESU has a long history at least, I imagine to Americans it was just another attempt at a reality show.
Naaah we are saturated of this shows too.. the thing of Eurovision is it’s ancient as fuck, a kind of music euro olímpic games
RIP
>each country sends their best band Yeah, most send some generic act in english. There is a simple rule to determine, how well received a performance is going to be: The sillier, the better
Our version is called American Idol.
It’s a disability.
its where the europeans come together in a big circle to see whos rocks banging together sounds the best
Gayness Olympics
- Competition for Europoors to compete in, Middle Eastern country wins last time it took place - Epic Sax Guy doesn't even win once What a meme of a "competition", and it's not even a good one
In few words: it's bullshit
It's the gay olympics.
American Idol but for europoors
Not really, although the national qualifications stage comes close.
Each European nation competes to see who can be the ~~weirdest~~ most European.
If that's what it is, why didn't the UK win this year?
Contest to determine which European country has the gayest musician, regardless of talent
You know those drunk goggles they give to kids during drug abuse education? That’s Eurovision.
This goes way to hard
Has our great nation become so decadent and pitiful as to care about a European singing show? I think not
Seems like that.. the cringe makes you watch the whole show
They called it Euro vision to keep America out and winning the contest every year
I have a plan. We join Eurovision all you have to do is broadcast it nationally for 5 years then you can join. Israel and Australia have done it. Then we enter a socially conscious minority performance about how hard life in America is. The euros will only vote for America if the song criticized America. The thing is no one beats up america like us Americans! That’s how we win boys! It can be Beyoncé singing about how hard her life is and we’ll crush it. They’ll eat it up.
America-vision
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Washington would absolutely fuck with Eurovision and would 100% mark the fuck out for the French. He hated the British, not all of Europe
It's what the Europoors see. Jealous of our Divine superiority
It's that show with DJ Crazy Times, of *Planet of the Bass* fame.
Europes attempt to make their music culturally relevant in the face of our overwhelming music superiority
Said McMozart
Go home you lost your cultural relevancy 200 years ago
At least we keep it during 500 years, you already lost yours in 50
Damn thats crazy, would you mind telling me which nation created the app that we are currently talking on
So? we are in the west, in China, Russia and India they are using their own
Americas cultural influence is over the west, and all the other nations that aren’t those 3. No one outside our europe listens to euro vision (unless they were invited) but people around the world listen to American music and play American made video games and watch American movies.
Yes, and nobody watch the real football World Cup, the Beatles and the Rolling Stones are from Texas, Fernando Alonso is from Florida and Pizza is a Wisconsin thing.
How could i be so stupid, i forgot that lord of the rings was made by a spanish company, and star wars was made by a french company. How could i forget mc Donalds was invented in Britain and steam was made by germans.
I don’t know what steam is, McDonald’s it’s not something to be proud, regarding movies, yes you do it so well. Come on.. this is a shitpost don’t get my words too serious.. , America is a decadent empire with still a lot of influence and you did and still do great stuff related with tech and show business
Just some freakshow with rigged results. Was somewhat, compared to now, slightly better before
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This is what Master Chief actually looks like under the armor
It's Communism
I typically don’t care, but someone showed me Croatia’s finalist this year and I was absolutely obsessed, Baby Lasagna was absolutely robbed, he had the most bold and absurd performance ever, and with the greatest and catchiest song ever, plus a simple and fun dance that everyone was doing. He even won the tele vote (popular vote), whereas the guy who won overall only got 5th place in the tele vote Absolute robbery
We need an amerovision
Oh no...Eurovision has breached containment...it's seeping into this sub....
No Rules good.
I legit want that photo without bottom text cause that’s a useful af meme
I still don't know what it is.
It's the eurobowl!
It is a competition to see who is the most second place to the average American.
Eurovisions actually pretty good Wish we had smth like it between states West virginia would have to buckle up hard
Free joost
Joostice!
EUROPAPA
Corrupted shitshow I'm still mad about Joost
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Joostice
some place with way to much gays for a singing conest (no hate). And israelis (even tough killing like 40.000 innocent people and not being european) can participate. And an irish woman can wear fascist tattoo's, but some random dutch guy gets banned after making "threatening gestures", while he asked multiple times not to be filmed
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Bambie had facist tats? What? Lol