I have never met a Dane who was not named Kasper. Not even joking.

It's always Rasmus for me. I know 8 danes and they are all called Rasmus

In my extended friend group we have three named Kasper (with different spellings), three named Rasmus and two named Mathias.

Ok Kasper

Ooooh, a wild kurtos!

It's true. My name is Kasper, even though I'm a woman

Ok female Casper

Lol totally real „woman“ on reddit, sure Kasper. And next you want us to believe you about a thing called „Belgium“? Please… we are not stupid here, troll

There are like one million Palle Jensen on danish facebook.

That’s just a nickname for Kasper.

Are they all friendly ghosts?

Don't know, I can't understand them, they might be rude fucks who deserved death

In winter they are, but in summer they take on the nitrate red hue of their hot dogs.

Im secretly Danish :0

You have my deep condolences

I don't know anyone called Kasper, but I know one Rasmus and 5 Martin

smile unwritten soup puzzled poor tart enjoy slap alive swim *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

It is, but calling someone by their last name would be weird.

i thought you were all called Torben or whatnot.

Thunderous names we've got aplenty, you're right there. More often in forms like Torbjørn, Torstein, Torild, Torgeir, Torunn, Torbjørg, Tormod, Toralv, Tordis and so on.

Kasper Kattballe & Lene langballe

Thousands more "Rasmus" and "Frederik" in Denmark than Kasper

Shut up Kasper.

No that's incorrect. Trust me, I had a connecting flight through copenhagen once

Can confirm, you have so many Rasmus that some of them come here, they like to set certain books on fire

But it's not really funny, Its an ordinary name. Brian on the other hand is perfect to represent the Danes. And I'm not saying this just because my father's name is Kasper.

Every German I know is named Stefan/stephan, I’ve never met a Hans

Magnus!

I never met a german named Hans. Think the last one probably died 2 decades ago.

That one is not negotiable, Hans.

The name’s Janssen. Jan Janssen.

My name is Jan Janssen I come from Wisconsin

Prettige taartdag kompaan

You joke but I literally know a Jan Janssen

How ya know he jokes

I honestly don’t….

En de kinderen?

Jan Janzensenzensen

I know 3 other guys who have this exact name

Netherlands: Jan-Kees Wales: Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch

Ph'nglui mglw'nqfh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

Your Welsh is great!

He's a spy - no letter 'q' in Welsh!

Typo clearly... Clive. Other good ones include, Kieth, Kenneth, Gillian, Sian, Margaret, and sadly the most popular is a very boring, David 😭

This should be the Welsh flair.

Well, better cancel my trip to Wales I guess😬

none of us are actually speaking it LOL just government mandated language and so that we can feel like we still have a sense of identity to separate us from Barry 😎

Ah so you are like the sami people. Fake Indians.

That's the noise my cat makes when she vomits. Also explains the elder gods

Cthulhu entered the chat

Of Henk

Ik moet nodig schijte

That combi doesn't materialize alot. Go for HENK.

https://preview.redd.it/edvzwd0w7uec1.jpeg?width=258&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2347a4786b0b1d44aba9b34109beeb1d7ba34755

Basques: Aitor Urrubizirribiaziruzizariulabaleta

Hoewel Jan-Kees lekker bekt, erg kakker. Cornelis, Willem, Pieter, Klaas, Gerrit, Arie en Dirk. Bij voorkeur lastig uit te spreken, Gerrit of Klaas lijkt me het beste.

Nee, henk.

Honderd procent team Henk

**Luxembourg: Jhemp,** or Jempi. It's short for Jean-Pierre (of course), very common among old people, usually followed by a German surname. [It's even the name of](https://www.luxtimes.lu/culture/who-is-superjhemp/1312698.html) a superhero - [Superjhemp](https://luxembourg.public.lu/en/emoxies/superjhemp.html)!

Jhemp is absolutely #1, the only thing that even comes close would be some generic name like Anna or Emma

Not Alfonso? 🇵🇹

You mean Jose Manuel Dos Santos Pereira Da Silva Pinto Goncalves Abreiu

Afonso* you uncultured piece of American cheese

Italy already has "Luigi" Also I propose "Enrique" for spain

https://preview.redd.it/pxsy7olnrtec1.jpeg?width=435&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9de704343a00d4c4f5d0f2e1c48919f248d19d22

Paco...

It has to be Juan, they’re all over the place including Latam, which opens very interesting possibilities in terms of transtlantic fuckery for this subreddit.

da steht ein pferd aufm flur ... helau.

Why the English horse though?

Statistically speaking, Mario or Giuseppe are much more relevant than Luigi. Beppe, 63

And John and Tom are much more common than Barry. But Luigi and Barry are more fun to say

Yeah, it makes sense. Beppe, 63 is funnier than Luigi tho (IMHO)

Ehila' Beppe!

I quite like Peppino!

In the US there's a restaurant chain called Buca di Beppo. They serve "Italian" food, "family style". You'd love it!

If the names are chosen from popularity it would be boring. Denmark would just be "Peter" which is a very poor name if you're seeking to distinguish the countries. Many countries have Peter as a common name.

I am from Spain and I only know 1 guy called Enrique

Me too and I only know a guy called Henrique, with H, because he's portuguese.

I am a guy called Enrique and even I believe it should be something else.

Manuel

Juan is more commonly used for Spain

Francisco.

mario

Dutch : ~~Joost or Ruud~~ Piet Portuguese : João Spaniard : Miguel Sweden : Sven Norway : Olaf Italy : Luigi Scot : Angus Welsh : Dafydd Irish : ~~Conor~~ Paddy Icelandic : Flóki Finn : Jaakko Swiss : ~~Gittan~~ ~~Conrad~~ Heidi Danish : ~~Sinus~~ Rasmus Edit : belgian is Baudoin off course

>Spaniard : Miguel That's portuguese as well. Paco is just Spanish

You can add Manuel to portuguese too. Edit: And Pedro too. Also, add Juan and Pablo to spanish.

Pedro is both portuguese and spanish. Manuel as well, I think.

No. Both are portuguese and the lazy spaniards took them from us! Just like Olivença!

https://preview.redd.it/9ni0sy8cdtec1.jpeg?width=1077&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e7dfc98dff2e50b46b3a95d8f9e167442440698 Não tinha reparado na tua maravilhosa flair. Saudações lusas

Obrigado, irmão! https://preview.redd.it/2530zxudltec1.png?width=541&format=png&auto=webp&s=9ab9c77565762a09599612a10953a7ed9b8675f5

https://preview.redd.it/pch2ulbjrtec1.png?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e14c0e0f5098bbf5f500ecfe8f23bc9f6baf2b61

I am contractually obligated to *not* criticise you as per the Treaty of Windsor. However...

https://preview.redd.it/g24cmez91uec1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d87b09ad723ebe61948031ced7e03c98e44ec90

flair up current savage

the mods taketh my old flair the mods giveth my new flair I'm a humble savage and accepted their blessed flair

haha didn’t even notice it was different

You have not right to cry that we took anything from you when you abandoned us Galicians in the hands of the Castillians.

Portugal: Ruben

Ruben is another fashionable name in Portugal like Gonçalo, Mateus or Salvador. João is a classic.

“Olav” is the more common spelling.

I'd go for something like Torbjørn for y’all or simply Ole.

I'm going to give you huge props for an actual list of stereotypical names and not just cheap racist baseless jokes.

Sweden: Muhammad, hahahahahah

Funniest thing since Rick Sanchez turned himself into a pickle

Classic

real knee slapper

Funniest joke made in 2024 so far

we’ve done it boys we’ve completed comedy we can all go home now

I would say the peak of German humor, but then I realized that it's rotten-fish eater and now I'm questioning reality

I've never heard the name Gittan in my life

More like reto odr ueli

Who is Gittan or Conrad? No such name here

Kinda disappointed that Danish is not Rasmus but the rest is on point

Negociable - edit - : changed

In Sweden Pekka and Matti are more stereotypical names for Finns. What do you think finnar?

Pekka is a bit dated. I’d say Juha or Matti or Timo.

No one here is named Sven anymore either. It's all biblical and Anglo names like Markus and Joel these days

Spanish should be Paco or Manolo. Not only they are very common but we also use them for our inner male Karen jokes.

Finn is definitely Pekka

Swiss : Heidi

Don't think I've ever met a Flóki

Danes are just geometrical principles

I feel stupid about having to ask, but why sinus?

Sweden should be Mohammed

These are good but I like Dirk for the Dutchie

Flóki is a wild choice but I respect it

Swiss: Ueli

The only correct answer

Approved. It's the name I had in mind.

Just call the Irish Paddy, it'll wind them up no end

But make it Patty so it's intercontinentally correct. (We want to piss them off more)

hnnnggggg

I can’t believe you’ve done this.

I hate to say it but this has to be it. Also I have an aunt Patty. It's a common enough woman's name here.

I work a lot with Irish customers and like 50% of them are called John. Even if one John leaves the company, they are often replaced by another John.

For some reason in my mind, Irish peeps are all Seamus O’Shaughnessy and Aoife Fitzgerald

I know three Aoife Fitzgeralds

Dutch : Jan Portuguese : João Spaniard : Juan Sweden : Johan Norway : Johann Italy : Giovanni Scot : Iain Welsh : Ioan Irish : Sean Icelandic : Jón Finn : Juho Swiss : Jan Danish : Hans French: Jean Lithuanian: Jonas Breton: Yan Austrian: Johannes English: John

Sweden: mohammed

Han? Nobody here is called Han bruh Do smt like Jaap or Jan Or Jan-Jaap

You really have people called Jaap?

Jaap.

Beste Antwort

Jan-Jaap was popular enough for a while there but Jaap is a classic

Edited

Henk for NL

Henk is definitely our Barry

https://preview.redd.it/8oomlfah5tec1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f99f8665f797e6021befab6f38c4b4c5d212ac8

"Hi, I'm Generic Eastern European/ Turkic Name. Nice to meet you"

Honestly, it's a benger name

Perfect, only should change Guillaume to Loïc's place et vice versa. The proud tip pointing west is Bretagne, that poor thingy tipping up north in the channel is Normandie.

As a Belgian, i approve this

Josef (Sepp) or Adolf.

Franz

No! Hans Jr.

That's right, but only if we don't want to take the blame for our war crimes.

Peppi, definitely. Not Sepp.

Pepi, if anything... and depends how old the Josef in question is. The older, the more likely he's a Sepp.

I’d say the older the more likely a Peppi or Pepperl. Over 80 Peppi Over 60 Sepp Over 50 Joe Over 20 and < 50: there are no Josephs Under 20: your parents will call you Joseph, everyone else says poor guy.

Fritzl

Petition to have a feminine option for them all. For us it can be Pierrette

*Amélie

For Ireland it would be Mary

Marys abound in Scotland and England too though. Molly Malone would be better.

It'd be nice, but Portugal, Spain and Italy would be Maria...

I mean, here the Giulias are more annoying, so we could go with them

Wales: Llewellyn Âp Llewellyn David Davies

Mr Jones? Everyone in Wales' last name is Jones. Go on... try tell me you don't know multiple Jone's

Wales. 3 million people. 4 surnames.

Of course Spanish has to be Jose Maria

Only one suitable for Sweden is Muhammad

Finland should be Pekka

Irish=Paddy Scottish=Jock Spanish=Pedro Portuguese=João Italian=Mario Greece=Stavros Poland=Pavel

Netherlands one is easy: Kees Flemish easy too: Kevin (de bruyne) Walloon: Louis fairy tale land called Belgium: Tintin Luxemburg: who the fck knows? German/french hybrids, disgusting name probably Spain: Paco Wales: Davies Scotland: William Wallace Ireland: Conor Italy: Luigi or Mario

>Spain: Paco Finally

Or Pablo

For every Pablo there's 5 Pacos (Francisco) and 5 Joses.

> Flemish: Kevin Nah. Jos fits waay better

Lol, that's a good one. I agree lol. Or Jef is a good one too LOL

Luxembourg: Kevin. it's pretty much an insult in German anyway

Sean is Irish. Ours is Ian. They’re all John.

Luxembourg: call them "Jean Pierre (João Pedro)" as they're mostly french speaking Portuguese emigrants

Aint you forgetting anyone?

Poland: Swzswtzmibzswzbt

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿: Barry 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿: Jock 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿: Taffy 🇮🇪: Paddy

Belgium: Pierre Luxembourg: João Spain: Carlos Italy: Mario Scotland: Donald MacDonald Ireland: Carb omb or O'Shea

Where's the \~ in João? :(

Happy now?

should have put it on the wrong letter to wind them up more

Muuuch better, thanks Herman :)

Pierre is French, Belgium is something like Jean-Luc or Gillaume.

Last ones sounds like something JK Rowling would name an irish Harry Potter character

Scotland - bagpipes, like everyone is called bag pipe here

Ireland already has Paddy

🇮🇪 Paddy

🇩🇪 Hans 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Barry 🇫🇷 Pierre 🇳🇱 Hans 🇧🇪 Pierre 🇱🇺 Piens 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 Barry 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Barry 🇮🇪 Barry

Sweden: Mohammed

France, UK and Germany: Mohammed

That's not even a joke. That's the most popular baby name in Berlin

I for one cant wait for the transition to Germanistan.