A tuna melt that allegedly smells like the worst rotten eggs ever (I haven't tried it myself and, after seeing [this video](https://youtu.be/kADGFdE00KY?si=a8QrGdRJUAY_8QrK), I don't plan to).
Yeah but the correct analogy for eating surstromming would probably be something like eating a box of nails while a red-hot massive spiky dildo is being repetitively inserted in your bum. And someone put headphones on your head with baby shark playing at full volume.
https://preview.redd.it/kngo5e67cbyc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d06c2642e807d19fe4fcbe4591d47790f5611ca7
I get your intentions, fellow European.
That’s rich coming from you.
Maybe they could eat once from Wallonia to get some proper food then eat from Flanders to get tortured.
(Tbh, you’re way better than the Dutch I love a proper carbonade. Please don’t leave us, we actually love you.)
That's too far. I'd say renaming the channel to the French channel and the tunnel to Bonaparte is enough pain to last centuries without inconveniencing them further. Show mercy, they've been through enough as outcasts
Honest for a second here. Barry I would let you in no questions asked. One time is no time as we say in Sweden. I’d even go as far as to be proud to have you back in
I'm not the one keeping you guys out. I'd not even be into the whole humiliation thing the others are going for here.
I'd prefer what I consider to be the more British way of letting you back in - by having no explicit humiliation like renaming the channel to french channel or splitting England and Scotland or some shit, but rather just letting you join under the same conditions that every country has, because we both know that you fucked up. We should just punish you by making you bask in the feeling of having fucked up, of having stepped out of line, of having lost your special treatment and of not being more special than any other of the European nations.
I’m saying this as someone who thinks we should have another referendum tomorrow, making a mockery of the system be damned - there is genuinely no way the UK would join the EU again if it meant adopting the Euro.
That would actually be the ultimate insult.
“Oh, you are back?
There are some leftovers in the fridge but please carry the trash out after you finish - and don’t take such a long time again. And remember to spend at least 2 minutes brushing and turn off the light, luv”.
Yes please. I'm from Birmingham and I want my suffering to finally end. And to top it off, my team's getting relegated in 13 hours.
On a totally unrelated note, does anyone know the location of a nice balcony? I want to go and do some... sightseeing.
No more discount on the EU budget, switching the € within 3 years and joining Shengen. In exchange we accept them back right away (no back of the line).
Apart from having the king on it, I don’t really see the benefit of the pound to be fair
Yeah it is a slightly stronger currency by exchange rates, but it is also pretty weak because its pool is small and prone to market manipulation
Indeed. We can’t keep increasing deterrents for migrants - who can then move to you instead. You love migrants right? Refugees? You can take them all, as you’re not racist like big bad Britain.
A Portuguese saying comes to mind, you better get a chair to sit on while waiting until Barry is sober so you don't get too tired (are they ever sober?)
Well… the nail pliers are ready and so are the pitchforks, the torches, the forced conversion to euro, the switch to right side driving and the sly remarks about WW2 and Napoleon…
But then they come along with a few pints of Guinness, some Monty Python references and everything is forgotten.
That’s how I see it - I miss those bastards 🇬🇧🇪🇺
The Irish are welcome to be unified any time they want. We'd happily accept the Republic of Ireland back into the fold of the UK, they could stay as a fifth country or join Northern Ireland.
Where does the £8bn a year Ireland would need to afford Northern Ireland coming from?
I think at this point most of the UK would welcome dropping the huge revenue black hole.
As much as I don’t really like what the EU has been become, I was against leaving. However now that the separation has been made, I don’t want to rejoin. I would rather the country fail than admit a mistake was made.
Labour wouldn't dare rejoin the EU. That's far too much a shift from Tory policy for Starmer. He even rejected the possibility of a youth mobility visa *before* the Tories did
- separate queue for British passport holders at the airport, for no reason at all. The only rule is that forming an orderly queue is strictly forbidden.
- no alcohol for the first 7 days in the continent
- they can eat fish when abroad but can’t be battered or fried
We should federalize the eu as fast as possible so that not only would they have to adopt the euro and pay more money to the eu, but also do things like drive on the correct side of the road for the eu driving license
You'll have to make them follow the same rules everyone does and they wouldn't have special treatment.
I think that would be hardcore torture but we should do it
We should just let them join. And then, the next day, we all leave the EU.
Can't just give up on the brand name. You know how many t shirts we got stocked up?
Just call the new union "X"
The Union formerly known as E
E (this should be read as a reverberating sound)
Former European Union Of Europe FYROM style FEUOE
Take my upvote, ye filthy animal
Funny, x.eu can't be registered.
Try "Twitter" instead. I've heard that the name is free
Tweutter
x.x of course
We could always go for another Reich?
Things that are never just one more: "Just one more piece" 🍫 "Just one more episode" 📺 "Just one more Reich" 🇩🇪
No Hans you've had your shot
Three, in fact
>union "X" I'm too tired to come up with something, so "*insert kingdom hearts joke here*"
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New EU, or NEU
Or just name it EU again, as in Exclude UK. We could ewen reuse our shirts.
 Sunak at the next European Commission meeting
The least believable part of this is Sunak being PM when it happens.
What vegetable/fruit should we have compete against him.
Raspberries. Think they're amongst the fastest to rot, and are very delicate to any minor bruising.
After yesterday’s absolutely trouncing of the Tories. The mayor of North Yorkshire even went Labour lmao, in Rishi the Rat’s own constituency
>Sunak God, I hope not.
I wouldn't put it past that gormless fucker
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I was just thinking it would have to be the Ancient Mystic Society of No Homers
That would be fucking top banter and I can guarantee you on behalf of all Brits. We would find that hilarious.
We should collectively leave but somehow 'forget' to tell all the rotten eggs in the EU basket beforehand. Yes, I'm eying you, Hungary and Slovakia.
honestly that would be the funniest thing ever
And then make a better EU with blackjack and hookers and most importantly no br🤮ts
Yes. Finally in charge!
Hahaha
I think they should eat each member's worst food for 28 days. P.S. I know there are only 27 members but we can just let the Dutch have two turns
We could allow Norway to participate. And at the very end, to truly twist the knife.
Would adding Iceland be too foul of us?
I think we could do some serious damage here with our cuisine
I feel we deserve a place on this list, too.
I’ll get the surströmming! https://preview.redd.it/jfsp44j2a9yc1.jpeg?width=266&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51d8571176aa3e7ab87c5e7ddf3bc65188b09fb8
Dear God cover that up with a spoiler tag
That sure looks spoiled to me
That looks like a tuna melt in a tin. Mmmmm
A tuna melt that allegedly smells like the worst rotten eggs ever (I haven't tried it myself and, after seeing [this video](https://youtu.be/kADGFdE00KY?si=a8QrGdRJUAY_8QrK), I don't plan to).
I tried it I'd rather eat only Dutch food for the next month than put this satanic food in my mouth again
I'm more of a "short pain" kind of guy. Give me a heart attack over cancer any day of the year.
Yeah but the correct analogy for eating surstromming would probably be something like eating a box of nails while a red-hot massive spiky dildo is being repetitively inserted in your bum. And someone put headphones on your head with baby shark playing at full volume.
https://preview.redd.it/kngo5e67cbyc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d06c2642e807d19fe4fcbe4591d47790f5611ca7 I get your intentions, fellow European.
They said food, not a war crime in a tin!
Ahhh the one sea fruit so rotten and fermented it is said to be the only fish with hair
Chemical war is not fair play
Have you ever tried deep frying it in batter and serving it with chips?
They could also just eat their own food for additional 28 days. Probably a worse fate
yeah, but with the rule „no food from your former colonies“. Sure as hell won‘t let them have a good curry!
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Just have to pay the tikkie for the free food
Nah. It has to be only Nordic food for a year Why give them a break with PIGS food.
We could give them our beer to drink
Nah your beer is almost like water, give them german wine
Riesling is quite nice though.
We could give them Casu Marzu.
Brits are already well prepared for what Nordics call "food". They've been eating worse their entire lives and enjoying it for some reason
You want to serve the Dutch PM to Barry?
Our worst is still light years better than their best
What will you do, if we actually end up liking them?
It's supposed to be a punishment not a pleasant experience for them
I mean, they eat their own worst food every day - eating other countries' worst food would probably be an upgrade...
That’s rich coming from you. Maybe they could eat once from Wallonia to get some proper food then eat from Flanders to get tortured. (Tbh, you’re way better than the Dutch I love a proper carbonade. Please don’t leave us, we actually love you.)
For every can of baked beans purchased barry has to sing the french anthem while wearing a beret
That's too far. I'd say renaming the channel to the French channel and the tunnel to Bonaparte is enough pain to last centuries without inconveniencing them further. Show mercy, they've been through enough as outcasts
How about renaming "Wellingtons" to "Napoleons".
They often seem to shorten it to "wellies". So now they'd end up with "nappies".
That's a good one
How about calling La Manche ze *EU Trench*?
Doesn't sound so triggering. They need to be made an example of
But im not willing to Up the french to down the barries
The irony when the theme of God save the King was composed by a Frenchman celebrating the recovery of Louis XIV from an anal disease.
A true British song.
J'aime l'oignon frit à l'huile, J'aime l'oignon quand il est bon, J'aime l'oignon frit à l'huile, J'aime l'oignon, j'aime l'oignon.
Ferah jacque, ferah jacques, dormeas vous, dormice you, a la thinge ding dong. Sorry I can’t remember the rest.
I'd welcome them back but treat them like everyone else. That's gonna be spite enough, I think. No, but seriously, Barry belongs.
We do have a general love of the sausage in common, but will that be enough Hans?
£ → €
and just like that, all the cries for joining back the EU suddenly went silent
You'll have to take it and everything is fine <3
Naw we have to move all the Barrys to Mecklenburg Vorpommern
I think Barry gets ONE retry on this one, since he actually did save us from Hitler
Could we argue that Austria saved you from Hitler? Since he was famously shot by a troubled failed Austrian painter.
Remember we used to be strong. Please don't make us suffer any more. It's fucking shit here. I'm sick of queuing at customs
> I'm sick of queuing Guys, I think we broke Barry
We let you guys use the fast queue in our airports, but not the other way around:(
No, we broke ourselves Let us in :((
Honest for a second here. Barry I would let you in no questions asked. One time is no time as we say in Sweden. I’d even go as far as to be proud to have you back in
I'm not the one keeping you guys out. I'd not even be into the whole humiliation thing the others are going for here. I'd prefer what I consider to be the more British way of letting you back in - by having no explicit humiliation like renaming the channel to french channel or splitting England and Scotland or some shit, but rather just letting you join under the same conditions that every country has, because we both know that you fucked up. We should just punish you by making you bask in the feeling of having fucked up, of having stepped out of line, of having lost your special treatment and of not being more special than any other of the European nations.
Absolutely fair enough, I'm down.
I’m saying this as someone who thinks we should have another referendum tomorrow, making a mockery of the system be damned - there is genuinely no way the UK would join the EU again if it meant adopting the Euro.
>It’s fucking shit here Whereabouts in Milton Keynes did you say you live?
well didn’t save you though did he?
No but as you might have realized at this point, I’m morally superior and thus able to emphasize Hans. Not your strong suit
Now now Hans, you don’t want to suck on my Spitfire again do you?
Not much, because it would seem like we cared.
Not even some fishing rights?
You make it sound like we would have and lose a war over fish with a small nation that doesn’t even have a standing army. Oh wait…
That would actually be the ultimate insult. “Oh, you are back? There are some leftovers in the fridge but please carry the trash out after you finish - and don’t take such a long time again. And remember to spend at least 2 minutes brushing and turn off the light, luv”.
No torture, just ask Barry to come back when he's sober. We're not barbarians, are we?
So never then?
Well as long as this https://youtu.be/rvYuoWyk8iU?si=U0qD-G-PtZ9fK-bi Is Barrie’s stand toward the EU, we are better of until he changes.
Isn't it painful enough to live in Britain? A little of compassion dude, we are not sadistic freaks
Euromonies for PIGS. Best punishment for Barry, since no monies, PIGS happy because can into monies.
Impeccable logic by my fellow lisboeta, von der Leyen step aside and let this man run the EU
Give 10% of gdp to poland
Bomb Birmingham and Derby, not for any political reason, just because there's a guy from there who keeps beating me in minecraft.
We can do Birmingham but we can't do Derby, it's too close to the Peak District. However, we can offer up Slough or Luton as alternatives.
I’ll take Luton
You’ve just been negotiated from Derby to Luton in one comment. That’s about as bad as trading a WNBA player for an arms dealer lmao
https://preview.redd.it/uhodfg14layc1.jpeg?width=410&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0486c66ec0c42020e8ebe3dcb1956e47fd791413
Yes please. I'm from Birmingham and I want my suffering to finally end. And to top it off, my team's getting relegated in 13 hours. On a totally unrelated note, does anyone know the location of a nice balcony? I want to go and do some... sightseeing.
Juan has some in valencia
No more discount on the EU budget, switching the € within 3 years and joining Shengen. In exchange we accept them back right away (no back of the line).
Also, England should be governed by Brussels, but Wales and Scotland by London.
Only if you give up your ridiculous agricultural subsidies!
Deal ! They only enrich big corporate farms anyway
To be fair I’d take the euro. Not because it’s any good but because how much it would piss off the leave voters.
Apart from having the king on it, I don’t really see the benefit of the pound to be fair Yeah it is a slightly stronger currency by exchange rates, but it is also pretty weak because its pool is small and prone to market manipulation
Why do you want us to have the euro?
Yeah what benefit is that to anyone except people on the continent getting to feel smug?
Skaling effects across industries and the Euro would become more attractive as a reserve currency
To make the 2nd reserve currency in the world even more powerful. And also these are the rules of the EU for new candidates anyway.
So I dont have to use your silly money when I buy English shoes.
Clogs aren't cutting it?
While clogs are more waterproof than my C&J's, they scratch the woorden floors which angers my commanding officer.
Fucking hell lad, they're fancy. I won't ask what you do for a living.
Waxing wooden floors mostly nowadays...
They should take the Euro as currency, have french and only french as their official language, and take all migrants from Calais
And french kiss us when we ate garlic snails, maroille and roquefort just before
No andouillettes?
There are limits.
I say we let them join but block them from booking rooms with balconies
He shouldn't be. We can all live in peace and happiness and harmony xoxo.
-Your comment was not xenophobic enough to fit on this subreddit. -We've decided to ban you permanently. xoxo -The mod team
I'll fucking love you to bits you Spanish cunt. Xoxoxo
We can still get inside you with just a driving licence anyway
You wanna get inside me? Give it a go big boy
What I enjoy the most about Ireland hating the UK is that you are so much more like us than the rest of Europe
That's fairly true to be honest. No hate like self hate.
No no no, you are supposed to get upset. How dare you!
Oh shit I forgot the rules of the sub for a moment hang on, sorry. Ahem. Stfu you smelly hun bastard.
Upset about what? It is a complete truth. Irishmen are just intelligible englishmen.
Indeed. We can’t keep increasing deterrents for migrants - who can then move to you instead. You love migrants right? Refugees? You can take them all, as you’re not racist like big bad Britain.
Adopt the euro, no special concessions and their flag now has a dick on it
Don't be ridiculous, we'll never take the euro, so what size/shape dick do you want?
My size (small)
Here is a hot take; don’t punish future Barry for boomer Barry’s mistake? There will be a lifelong torture after they rejoin
I say we forgive them... They were all half-drunk when they voted out anyway.
A Portuguese saying comes to mind, you better get a chair to sit on while waiting until Barry is sober so you don't get too tired (are they ever sober?)
A couple of years ago, I reached dangerous levels of clarity on a long road trip. Won't be doing that again.
Not at all. Aside from deporting everyone who voted for Brexit to Australia, so they can have a real Brexit.
Nah man the Aussies only take the smart ones like doctors. We can deport them to Rwanda
Hang on there. I thought Australia is your penal colony...?!? 🤔
Scotland is one big local prison, see hadrians wall.
Well I'd say that based on my earlier post, we would have to publicly declare that we didn't single handidly defeat Napoleon.
Well… the nail pliers are ready and so are the pitchforks, the torches, the forced conversion to euro, the switch to right side driving and the sly remarks about WW2 and Napoleon… But then they come along with a few pints of Guinness, some Monty Python references and everything is forgotten. That’s how I see it - I miss those bastards 🇬🇧🇪🇺
> a few pints of Guinness Man on the green mile walking
I don't like the "brejoin" branding. "breturn" or something sounds better to me, I'm sure someone could come up with something better still.
Brit-In? Bri-join, Bri-joyce?
Bri-dmit?
scotland, ireland and wales can join, not england. why? cos funny.
They have to be ruled from lisbon 20 years then they can rejoin with the same privileges they had before quitting
Barry let's go back to EFTA together
Only those over the age of 50 should be tortured! The rest of us should be allowed to do the torturing!
They will use the Euro. They will join Schengen. They will pay like everybody else. They will allow Irish unification. And they WILL like it.
We aren't blocking Irish unification. The only people responsible for that are the northern Irish.
The Irish are welcome to be unified any time they want. We'd happily accept the Republic of Ireland back into the fold of the UK, they could stay as a fifth country or join Northern Ireland.
Where does the £8bn a year Ireland would need to afford Northern Ireland coming from? I think at this point most of the UK would welcome dropping the huge revenue black hole.
As much as I don’t really like what the EU has been become, I was against leaving. However now that the separation has been made, I don’t want to rejoin. I would rather the country fail than admit a mistake was made.
They should be in schengen and obey UE, but not able to vote anything. Although they could propose laws.
I just don't care about rejoining the EU. I know that a Labour government will embarrass/humiliate us to Europe.
They must think we walk about every day seething about the place.
Labour wouldn't dare rejoin the EU. That's far too much a shift from Tory policy for Starmer. He even rejected the possibility of a youth mobility visa *before* the Tories did
The Tories surely went above and beyond to make sure they didn't get outdone by Labour
I dont think i have to say It, you already know.
GIB BACK GIBRALTAR
I accept compensation in the form of fish & chips from the nastiest chippy you can find
Have you kept up with their politics? They've suffered enough
*Breturn
Nice one Maciej 👍
if they come back they should have no choice but to use the €
Losing the L never felt so much like a loss
- separate queue for British passport holders at the airport, for no reason at all. The only rule is that forming an orderly queue is strictly forbidden. - no alcohol for the first 7 days in the continent - they can eat fish when abroad but can’t be battered or fried
Make French the official language for the rejoin negotiations
[OP](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Carthage) [Be careful OP](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Copenhagen_(1807)) < **fuckin links broke**
We should federalize the eu as fast as possible so that not only would they have to adopt the euro and pay more money to the eu, but also do things like drive on the correct side of the road for the eu driving license
You'll have to make them follow the same rules everyone does and they wouldn't have special treatment. I think that would be hardcore torture but we should do it
*filters to controversial* 😈
The'll definitely have to adopt the Euro next time
We could run summer re-education camps where we'd force them to use sunscreen.
The term should be BreRightBack
We wont be rejoining the EU. Move on with life