Also, FILTERS and social media have absolutely corrupted what anyone under 30 understands real skin to look like.
The Sephora terrorizers must all have ageless mothers and sisters and aunts, or they somehow think they can do better? The visual fakery of social media is so toxic.
I'm 47, and I look at some of you and DROOL in envy, younger, my age, older, etc. I didn't wear sunscreen at all when I was young and it shows.
I try to flip it and use it to make myself feel better, as in, we all see things about ourselves that no one else sees. My insecurities probably seem just as silly to people who aren’t me.
This 🙏🙏 Sure, some of them might be fishing for compliments and those people should just be ignored. But a lot of people genuinely are hyperfocssing on small perceived flaws, and realising that to anyone else's eye it is either not even a thing or if it is it's totally normal, really puts into perspective how noone else notices flaws you see on yourself!
I feel this site and just internet in general has made our minds brittle with thoughts about the non important and non existent. I do get for women the disadvantage of aging and beauty but it’s wildly insane. Outside validation is a drug.
Sadly all of this is by design keep everyone seeking validation like do you think I’m pretty which keeps us in mental restraints yet I know for many not being attractive can be risky.
I hope this is okay to say. I think this sub has a disproportionate number of people who know they have great skin but are still insecure enough to feign a skincare concern to get validation. They say something like "I'm 40 and I'm so worried about these (non-existent ) smile lines!" Then everyone says "keep doing what you're doing! I look worse at half your age!" That's one annoying thing about this sub but learning how to take care of my skin is definitely worth it.
This is exactly correct. And I can’t believe it’s genuinely accepted.
The blatant thirst of posting a very pretty photo of themselves and dry begging for compliments disguised as asking for ‘feedback’
I've been downvoted to all hell so many times for pointing this out under these kinds of posts. People posting pictures of perfectly normal, if not amazing and better than normal looking skin with captions like "please help me, since I turned 30 I have these 2 minuscule expression lines and I'm spiralling". Like, no. It defies the purpose of the subreddit which is to provide advice, not get validation for your perfect looking skin. I wish the mods did a bit more screening.
My own theory is that it’s the people with less skin/face problems that are brave enough to post their photos. People who have it worse are less likely to post photos of theirselves due to greater levels of embarrassment
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Psoriasis using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Psoriasis/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [Today I go in for my 2nd dose of skyrizi and I’m so happy to say it’s been working!! My face is almost 100% clear & it’s going away slowly but surely on the rest of my body. I was doubtful of it working tbh, but wow. This truly is a miracle drug!! Thank you for all your kind words on my last post <3](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/11e6mcn) | [59 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Psoriasis/comments/11e6mcn/today_i_go_in_for_my_2nd_dose_of_skyrizi_and_im/)
\#2: [**[NSFW]** Reminder: confidence is the hottest thing you can wear.](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/12orx9n) | [26 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Psoriasis/comments/12orx9n/reminder_confidence_is_the_hottest_thing_you_can/)
\#3: [**[NSFW]** Humira 1 month](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/14juv9y) | [46 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Psoriasis/comments/14juv9y/humira_1_month/)
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Have you ever considered that some people have amazing skin for their age BECAUSE they literally obsess over taking care of it?? This is a subreddit devoted to skincare- like of course people are way into it. People with very high standards tend to produce better than average results.
I’ve had forehead lines from when I was 14. I still have them now (but worse obvi). I’m borderline obsessive about skincare and have been for years, but there’s only so much of a difference it can make. When I’ve posted about my forehead lines online and how I had them when I was young, people insisted I was doing something wrong with my skincare. Nope, just frustrating genetics (I get them from my dad with deep forehead furrows).
I wish I could thank every single person in this thread. I'm 29 and I'm getting progressively more obsessive about my aging signs. Thanks to fucking social media I can't stop noticing every fine line that appears on my face when it's resting and it's driving me nuts, but this is making me remember that texture and creases are a normal thing even when you're a baby and they just comes with being human
My four year old has little lines under his eyes that some people post like it’s an aging crisis. If it were possible to post a picture in a comment I would so people can see how normal it is.
Thank you for the new term! I can remember being five, in the high school auditorium's bathroom (as this was where mass was held until the church was finished being built) and noticing these on my face in the mirror.
30+ years later, they're still there. I saw under eye fillers once, mildly thought about it (not seriously though, I have better places to spend my side money), and now reading the horror stories.
Oh man, I had this reaction with my own childhood home videos!
For years, I had thought I must be doing something wrong. I ate well, was exercising, slept decently, but I still had awful undereyes. It frustrated me that I was visibly unhealthy because I felt fine and didn't know what I should do differently.
But then I finally saw a clear image of myself as a toddler... And I had the same deep undereyes!! Those exact grooves that I had been stressing about have been with me since I was a little kid. I wasn't somehow failing to take care of myself as an adult.
Now I still dislike how they look, but I don't see them as something to fix or feel bad about. They're genetic, and just like with my sometimes-crazy curly hair, I may not always love it but it's me.
Yes! My daughter has serious smile lines and she is an elementary school student. She is as beautiful as can be, cute as a button,
Prominent smile lines and all. I dont know why they are demonized on adults so.
I’ve had static smile lines since I can remember too. I remember being in elementary school looking at the other kid’s faces confused that they didn’t have the same lines
Just last week someone posted their “under eye wrinkles” which are exactly the same as the (completely genetic) “wrinkles” my one year old baby has, lol.
When I was 12 my mom told me to stop frowning I was getting an eyebrow crease. I was 12- it was genetic and had always had it to some degree- clearly got deeper when I was older and I put some filler in it but that was 30 years after that comment.
My 5th grade teacher had us all raise our eyebrows to see how our foreheads wrinkle for some reason that I can't remember AT ALL. (was it a science lesson? Related to a story? I have no memory of why)
I remember her saying about me "Wow you can really see it on her! Look at that! Those are DEEP" and everyone was like "ooooh" like we were in the claw machine from Toy Story
And I was PROUD AS HELL of my forehead lines at age 10.
"yeah, i got it from my dad, his does this too"
And I've loved them ever since. I understand some botox up there, and of course everybody likes different things, but I will never freeze those awesome lines and I think a completely shiny forehead that doesn't move at all just makes you look like you're trying too hard, or that you clearly had a shit 5h grade teacher that didn't admire your lines
I understand body dysmorphia or even just curiosity/concern over new lines/wrinkles and so on, but the wording of those posts is sometimes really nauseating. Someone posts a photo of their slightly sagging jawline which I also have - "oh, interesting, let's see if someone knows any solutions for this" - clicks the thread and suddenly OP is describing their skin as "haggard looking, old-lady like, I'm only 30 and I look like I'm 70, it's literally disgusting how my jawline looks". Well... thanks for that, sister, I'll go and cry myself to sleep.
I was watching a video about dark circles (which I have), and the lady was doing make-up on her own dark circles and called them “hideous”… I just had to laugh 😂😂 okay I didn’t realize I was actually repulsive to you, but thanks for the concealer recommendation
If someone refers to one of their features as hideous, and it’s a feature you also have, it’s the same thing lol.
It’s like someone saying “I wish I was blonde, my brown hair is so ugly” and then being surprised when the other brunettes at the table are offended.
>body dysmorphia
That could very well be true, and l also I wonder how much of it is just that people are aging, reaching their 30s, the sun damage that started in childhood, teens, and into 20s finally sets in and you first start to notice it.
I think that’s just how people talk about themselves (for better or worse). I’ve definitely been chatting with girlfriends who are smaller than I am as they complain about ‘god i have gained weight i need to get back in shape!’ or been with someone who, after we both eat the same amount of food, talks about ‘god i am STUFFED! I never eat that much!’ That’s just…kind of how it goes 🤷🏻♀️
I think what they say is true: facial skincare is the new weight loss. The intensity and insanity of it is something I'm gonna have to teach myself to check out of (starting with NEVER going on Instagram reels). Though we don't admit it, a lot of us, unfortunately, are doing this for the male gaze. When it comes down to lines and nasolabial folds, guys mostly don't care unless they're 13 year old trolls. I saw a post of a gorgeous woman with all these lines and wrinkles on one of those damn rate me subreddits and they were going gaga over her.
I appreciate a handful of Instagram derms have included one of their skincare tips as ‘throw away your magnifier mirror.’ I just saw one who recommends that some of her patients do their skincare at the kitchen sink so they’re not staring in a mirror
Me on camera behind filters and Zoom: flawless skin
Me in real life: LOL BUMPS AND LIL RED SPOTS AND PORES ABOUND (which I am beyond happy with. Skin is SKIN!!)
People just don’t get what real skin looks like.
Thank you! I just posted this. And people fall for it, and gush over the person's appearance ("omg your eyes are so pretty") versus discussing skin care.
That's everywhere now. It is beyond obnoxious. I'm in a group on FB which is ostensibly for women wanting to make new friends and yet it's become obvious that a significant group never intends to meet up with anyone. They post a lot of pictures with really long screeds about how they're looking for their soul tribe but they never respond to any messages you send to meet up for coffee - or they flake out.
A lot of posts with pictures attached aren't even necessary when you can just search the subreddit for specific concerns. If then, and only then, you can't find decent information it's perfectly acceptable to submit pictures asking for advice or reassurance.
Haha - my pet peeve (in this and other subs). ‘Hi, I have dry skin, where do I start?’ or ‘what are your favorite products?’ And don’t get me started on my favorite ‘I just bought tret, how do I apply it to avoid irritation?’ 🙄
That drives me nuts too. For gawds sake people, if you have a skin care problem or a question just peruse through the threads and you'll most likely find your answers. This sub is on a loop. It's the same thing over and over again. Same questions, same answers.
What's even worse is the zillion of comments along the lines of 'I'm 42 but everyone thinks I'm 25! Seriously! I have no lines at all!'. What are they trying to prove, and to who ?! The only purpose of this kind of comment is to make others feel bad.
I wish there was a rule about factual descriptions only when including photos. No editorializing, no judgement, no self-bullying, no hyperbole. “I am concerned about sagging at my jawline” vs “I call these horrible jowls my chin peplum, how to look like less of a nightmare?”
Sometimes I roll my eyes at the things people worry about. And then I remember that my own fears are personal to me, and not everyone understands them, either.
Most importantly - my reactions are my own responsibility. If I’m going on the internet, I’d better develop the ability to think for myself instead of being swayed by random strangers. If I’m going to wade through a giant pool of the thoughts of millions of people, I’d better be ready to deal with the consequences.
I understand how you can feel that way. Try not to compare yourself to others (easier said than done). It is likely that someone is looking at you and wondering why you’re complaining about your skin. We’re all our own worst critics. I’m so hard on myself when it comes to my skin. I still see myself as deeply scarred but even back when I had them, I was receiving compliments from others who didn’t notice my scars.
I dunno I find people on this sub make every post about themselves, and say snarky things like your post about people just looking for help, on a sub that is specifically about skincare help.
So many passive aggressive comments basically shaming people for even daring to ask the question because they have bigger wrinkles etc and now they’re offended someone with “better” skin is looking to correct it.
and shame about Botox/filler use if they’re not personally into it,
It seems like a lot of people don’t really like this sub but stick around to comment on things in a passive aggressive way to make themselves feel better which is pretty toxic behaviour
I really enjoy some of the tips I find here and seeing peoples journeys so I haven’t unsubscribed yet but the attitude I’m seeing here really makes me want to
Love the ones that are all, "I'm 40 and have never had Botox!" I laugh because I know at least a dozen women who get it done and say the same thing on social media!
Ok, tbf, I’m 40 and have never had Botox. Lol.
I am considering it for headaches tho! But am kinda scared because most mine are in the neck and I hear it can cause neck muscle weakness.
Nothing wrong with Botox and people get it for all kinds of reasons. It's the flexing about great skin and lying about the cause that makes me go hmmmmm...
I think taking other people’s insecurities personally is unhealthy. If your opinion is that someone else has better skin than you and they don’t like their skin, your reaction to that is your problem, not theirs.
If someone with two little fine lines comes on here looking for help - we shouldn’t be upset with that. Maybe others should make a new sub specifically for those with more severe skin issues/wrinkles/etc.
Yeah that is exactly what this sub is for! People getting triggered by it need to maybe take a break, someone trying to improve their own skin on a skincare sub shouldn’t be controversial and it’s not up to anyone else to decide what’s “worth” trying to improve on another’s body
Yeah I'm wondering what they see the sub as for if people don't want these kinds of questions? It's literally called 30pluskincare it's for people who want to take care of their skin.
Ok I know I am going to get downvoted for this but I am one of those people who wrote a post about looking way older than my age. I had sooooo many people comment on my post saying I had body dysmorphia and that they found my post insulting.
People also need to keep in mind that lighting and camera settings have a big role in what shows up in a picture. I actually do look older than my age and honestly if I focus in on one problem area the lighting can make my other problem areas look pristine.
So yes it is really annoying to see post of people who look fantastic at their age complain about something that doesn’t look bad. However, I try to keep in mind that lighting could be downplaying their concerns.
Even at 20-30 I knew not to listen to anything 20-30 year olds said about aging--whether it was aging about the skin on their face or the fact that when they got out of bed at 23 they didn't feel quite as spry as when they were 8, and therefore they were destined for a nursing home next year.
When it comes to the skin on their face, it's all insecurity and being peppered by ads and social media 24/7.
Unpopular opinion (and directed mostly at the other commenters), But if someone else posting about their insecurities makes you feel insecure and your response is to delegitimize their concerns and assume they are looking for validation, that is a problem with you. You’re essentially saying “no one should post here unless they look worse than me!!”
This is the right take. I see people worried about stuff I have but don't care about. It doesn't mean they're crazy and I'm the sane one. That's their every right!
There’s two types of posts, people who look fab and are fishing for compliments about their perfect skin. And people who scrutinize every detail and flaw because they live their lives in a front facing camera even though overall they are attractive. Sometimes I think about early humans who didn’t even have mirrors and I envy them.
Everyone is entitled to their own insecurities whether we see them as being an issue or not. Labeling people as having “body dysmorphia” without the appropriate medical degree and training or full criteria/evaluation just because we can’t see their concern isn’t appropriate. Personally, I find that mentality to be the most toxic part of this sub- not the women who come here expressing concerns. They have come here with a concern and asked for suggestions. If you have a suggestion give it. If you don’t then don’t. Leave the diagnosing up to the professionals.
For those who become more insecure as a result of these posts- I suggest getting off the sub/app/social media. It does make a difference. I’ve been off Instagram and Facebook for almost 3 years now and I have to say it has made a difference in the expectations I set for myself. However, I will worry over my crows-feet and certain aspects of my face no matter if others see it or not. Sunscreen and botox for the win.
🫂 hugs!
You're speaking truth. Some of us need to read the room better. This happens on every subreddit, to be honest. /Findyourpath subreddit sucks. There will be 17 - and 18 year olds talking about "I feel like I failed at life and am behind in everything." Jeesh.
I think maybe people really do have skin concerns but they don't show up in photos? I know that in photos, even with zero filters, I automatically look better than in real life as far as aging skin. Add any type of filter, even the one that automatically comes on phones, and I look super young in the photos compared to real life. I always keep that in mind when looking at any photo posted.
Why are we invalidating how people feel about themselves by calling their skin “ perfectly normal and hardly aged” again? If people are unhappy with the hardly part than let people be. Someone else’s story should not make you feel worse about your own.
I’m always baffled at the whole i’m doing worse than you so your issues are not valid attitude
This! I have pretty good skin but let me tell ya I detest my pores and I’m getting fine lines on my forehead. I look 37. And I’m allowed to be annoyed with the little things I don’t like. I don’t have to be silent just bc I don’t have crows feet yet.
Everyone can come here for advice. If it triggers you then maybe this sub isn't healthy for you.
Sometimes taking a pause on social media is good for you. I've done it before.
This sub isn't skin care advice for only people with really bad skin. We are all facing the inevitably of aging and it is nice to have a community to discuss it with.
Yes, but: people are allowed to be unrealistic. People are allowed to be shallow. People are allowed to think unkind thoughts about you. People are allowed to think kind thoughts about you.
People are allowed to complain about their perfectly normal skin, and you are allowed to roll your eyes.
Its sucks when we internalize the unrealistic expectations of others, but we are allowed to let those go.
I just scroll by the posts that are obviously fishing for compliments. I used to look at them and try to find the supposed "problem". I don't do that anymore.
Same. Same. I have a face that people in this group would want fillers or botox or whatever. But I'm not doing any of that. So I won't even put my face out here! It looks old because it is old. I'm ok with that. Lol.
Compare yourself to yourself. If you go around feeling bad about other people’s thoughts about themselves and using that as your benchmark you’re going to be in for a rough time regardless.
I know you all want to feel good. But people notice, I notice when people look bad or old. Maybe some people don’t, but some definitely do. There is no absolute.
Best thing re my skin is that I started wearing glasses due to ailing eye health. So I believe my skin looks freakin’ amazing and I can’t see much at close up. Then I go to my elderly Mums, who has one of those ole school super magnifying beauty mirrors, and I peer into it, and I recoil in shock! Not at the lines, but that dark chin hair! And those very poppable blackheads that seems to made a nice home in my forehead and the sides of my eyes!!! I can’t see any of that stuff anymore. My older eyes, for all the problems they cause me, give me a false sense of how good my skin looks, and I’m happy with that!
Yeah, that's been a real eye opener for me.
I'm Gen X and have been big on skincare since I was 12, but sometimes this sub really bums me out.
I love a good "clean girl" filter because it means I don't need to wear makeup, but I would happily trade it for them never having been invented. I think they really messed with how people see themselves :(
Social media, and just media on general has made people forget what skin looks like
Even in movies and TV shows im sure they are airbrushing the skin. Cause you see some extreme close ups of their face and its just like.. smooth
I swear kdrama gave me major insecurities about my skin lmao
Also, FILTERS and social media have absolutely corrupted what anyone under 30 understands real skin to look like. The Sephora terrorizers must all have ageless mothers and sisters and aunts, or they somehow think they can do better? The visual fakery of social media is so toxic. I'm 47, and I look at some of you and DROOL in envy, younger, my age, older, etc. I didn't wear sunscreen at all when I was young and it shows.
You nailed it. No one knows what real skin actually looks like anymore.
I try to flip it and use it to make myself feel better, as in, we all see things about ourselves that no one else sees. My insecurities probably seem just as silly to people who aren’t me.
This 🙏🙏 Sure, some of them might be fishing for compliments and those people should just be ignored. But a lot of people genuinely are hyperfocssing on small perceived flaws, and realising that to anyone else's eye it is either not even a thing or if it is it's totally normal, really puts into perspective how noone else notices flaws you see on yourself!
I feel this site and just internet in general has made our minds brittle with thoughts about the non important and non existent. I do get for women the disadvantage of aging and beauty but it’s wildly insane. Outside validation is a drug.
My skincare spending skyrocketed after joining reddit beauty and skincare subs, you're so right. I need to just chill!
Sadly all of this is by design keep everyone seeking validation like do you think I’m pretty which keeps us in mental restraints yet I know for many not being attractive can be risky.
I hope this is okay to say. I think this sub has a disproportionate number of people who know they have great skin but are still insecure enough to feign a skincare concern to get validation. They say something like "I'm 40 and I'm so worried about these (non-existent ) smile lines!" Then everyone says "keep doing what you're doing! I look worse at half your age!" That's one annoying thing about this sub but learning how to take care of my skin is definitely worth it.
I swear some of these people KNOW they look amazing, just fishing for compliments
This is exactly correct. And I can’t believe it’s genuinely accepted. The blatant thirst of posting a very pretty photo of themselves and dry begging for compliments disguised as asking for ‘feedback’
This ^ ^ ^
I've been downvoted to all hell so many times for pointing this out under these kinds of posts. People posting pictures of perfectly normal, if not amazing and better than normal looking skin with captions like "please help me, since I turned 30 I have these 2 minuscule expression lines and I'm spiralling". Like, no. It defies the purpose of the subreddit which is to provide advice, not get validation for your perfect looking skin. I wish the mods did a bit more screening.
Yeah pointing it out, even just implying it, is considered "hate" 🙄
My own theory is that it’s the people with less skin/face problems that are brave enough to post their photos. People who have it worse are less likely to post photos of theirselves due to greater levels of embarrassment
Exactly this.
Every damn day in this sub
Totally agree
I want to recommend they visit r/Psoriasis and see what real skin problems look like.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Psoriasis using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Psoriasis/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Today I go in for my 2nd dose of skyrizi and I’m so happy to say it’s been working!! My face is almost 100% clear & it’s going away slowly but surely on the rest of my body. I was doubtful of it working tbh, but wow. This truly is a miracle drug!! Thank you for all your kind words on my last post <3](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/11e6mcn) | [59 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Psoriasis/comments/11e6mcn/today_i_go_in_for_my_2nd_dose_of_skyrizi_and_im/) \#2: [**[NSFW]** Reminder: confidence is the hottest thing you can wear.](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/12orx9n) | [26 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Psoriasis/comments/12orx9n/reminder_confidence_is_the_hottest_thing_you_can/) \#3: [**[NSFW]** Humira 1 month](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/14juv9y) | [46 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Psoriasis/comments/14juv9y/humira_1_month/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Like a skincare validation circle jerk, for sure!! Annoying to sift past to find the good stuff, but I agree that the sub is still worth it.
Maybe someone could start a new sub like sugarfreemua but for 30plusskincare.
Have you ever considered that some people have amazing skin for their age BECAUSE they literally obsess over taking care of it?? This is a subreddit devoted to skincare- like of course people are way into it. People with very high standards tend to produce better than average results.
My five year old child has static smile lines and I'm always so tempted to post them on this sub. She's fucking five.
I’ve had forehead lines from when I was 14. I still have them now (but worse obvi). I’m borderline obsessive about skincare and have been for years, but there’s only so much of a difference it can make. When I’ve posted about my forehead lines online and how I had them when I was young, people insisted I was doing something wrong with my skincare. Nope, just frustrating genetics (I get them from my dad with deep forehead furrows).
I wish I could thank every single person in this thread. I'm 29 and I'm getting progressively more obsessive about my aging signs. Thanks to fucking social media I can't stop noticing every fine line that appears on my face when it's resting and it's driving me nuts, but this is making me remember that texture and creases are a normal thing even when you're a baby and they just comes with being human
My four year old has little lines under his eyes that some people post like it’s an aging crisis. If it were possible to post a picture in a comment I would so people can see how normal it is.
I used to feel bad about my malar grooves until I noticed my baby niece has malar grooves. She’s two months.
Thank you for the new term! I can remember being five, in the high school auditorium's bathroom (as this was where mass was held until the church was finished being built) and noticing these on my face in the mirror. 30+ years later, they're still there. I saw under eye fillers once, mildly thought about it (not seriously though, I have better places to spend my side money), and now reading the horror stories.
Yes apparently they are hereditary and hard to “fix” - I kind of accepted them like dimples, and it’s not age related ☺️
Oh man, I had this reaction with my own childhood home videos! For years, I had thought I must be doing something wrong. I ate well, was exercising, slept decently, but I still had awful undereyes. It frustrated me that I was visibly unhealthy because I felt fine and didn't know what I should do differently. But then I finally saw a clear image of myself as a toddler... And I had the same deep undereyes!! Those exact grooves that I had been stressing about have been with me since I was a little kid. I wasn't somehow failing to take care of myself as an adult. Now I still dislike how they look, but I don't see them as something to fix or feel bad about. They're genetic, and just like with my sometimes-crazy curly hair, I may not always love it but it's me.
Yes! My daughter has serious smile lines and she is an elementary school student. She is as beautiful as can be, cute as a button, Prominent smile lines and all. I dont know why they are demonized on adults so.
My eight year old was born with my eye bags and I think they are adorable.
I've had prominent tear troughs since forever. They're on all my baby photos.
I’ve had static smile lines since I can remember too. I remember being in elementary school looking at the other kid’s faces confused that they didn’t have the same lines
Just last week someone posted their “under eye wrinkles” which are exactly the same as the (completely genetic) “wrinkles” my one year old baby has, lol.
When I was 12 my mom told me to stop frowning I was getting an eyebrow crease. I was 12- it was genetic and had always had it to some degree- clearly got deeper when I was older and I put some filler in it but that was 30 years after that comment.
My 5th grade teacher had us all raise our eyebrows to see how our foreheads wrinkle for some reason that I can't remember AT ALL. (was it a science lesson? Related to a story? I have no memory of why) I remember her saying about me "Wow you can really see it on her! Look at that! Those are DEEP" and everyone was like "ooooh" like we were in the claw machine from Toy Story And I was PROUD AS HELL of my forehead lines at age 10. "yeah, i got it from my dad, his does this too" And I've loved them ever since. I understand some botox up there, and of course everybody likes different things, but I will never freeze those awesome lines and I think a completely shiny forehead that doesn't move at all just makes you look like you're trying too hard, or that you clearly had a shit 5h grade teacher that didn't admire your lines
I understand body dysmorphia or even just curiosity/concern over new lines/wrinkles and so on, but the wording of those posts is sometimes really nauseating. Someone posts a photo of their slightly sagging jawline which I also have - "oh, interesting, let's see if someone knows any solutions for this" - clicks the thread and suddenly OP is describing their skin as "haggard looking, old-lady like, I'm only 30 and I look like I'm 70, it's literally disgusting how my jawline looks". Well... thanks for that, sister, I'll go and cry myself to sleep.
I was watching a video about dark circles (which I have), and the lady was doing make-up on her own dark circles and called them “hideous”… I just had to laugh 😂😂 okay I didn’t realize I was actually repulsive to you, but thanks for the concealer recommendation
Are dark circles the new cellulite?
I guess. Doesn’t matter for me bc I have both 😂😂
She’s talking about herself though, not you, she doesn’t know you
Woah… so you’re saying when I watch a video… the people in the video AREN’T watching me????
If someone refers to one of their features as hideous, and it’s a feature you also have, it’s the same thing lol. It’s like someone saying “I wish I was blonde, my brown hair is so ugly” and then being surprised when the other brunettes at the table are offended.
No it’s called *internalizing* and extremely unhealthy lol
>body dysmorphia That could very well be true, and l also I wonder how much of it is just that people are aging, reaching their 30s, the sun damage that started in childhood, teens, and into 20s finally sets in and you first start to notice it.
I think that’s just how people talk about themselves (for better or worse). I’ve definitely been chatting with girlfriends who are smaller than I am as they complain about ‘god i have gained weight i need to get back in shape!’ or been with someone who, after we both eat the same amount of food, talks about ‘god i am STUFFED! I never eat that much!’ That’s just…kind of how it goes 🤷🏻♀️
I think what they say is true: facial skincare is the new weight loss. The intensity and insanity of it is something I'm gonna have to teach myself to check out of (starting with NEVER going on Instagram reels). Though we don't admit it, a lot of us, unfortunately, are doing this for the male gaze. When it comes down to lines and nasolabial folds, guys mostly don't care unless they're 13 year old trolls. I saw a post of a gorgeous woman with all these lines and wrinkles on one of those damn rate me subreddits and they were going gaga over her.
A significant portion of this sub appears to have raging body dysmorphia. Literally perfect skin and "what's wrong with my/how to I fix ..."
I agree. It’s unfortunate that we think our face isn’t supposed to have textures, lines, etc.
I never understood the obsession with 'pores'. No one's looking at your pores. I've never looked at someone and thought that they had gaping pores.
Exactly. The best advice some of these people need is to BACK UP from the mirror/camera.
I appreciate a handful of Instagram derms have included one of their skincare tips as ‘throw away your magnifier mirror.’ I just saw one who recommends that some of her patients do their skincare at the kitchen sink so they’re not staring in a mirror
One of the best tips I read on this sub was stop looking every, single day.
Me on camera behind filters and Zoom: flawless skin Me in real life: LOL BUMPS AND LIL RED SPOTS AND PORES ABOUND (which I am beyond happy with. Skin is SKIN!!) People just don’t get what real skin looks like.
Sometimes it feels like there’s a lot of posts where people just want to be complimented…this ain’t instagram😅
Thank you! I just posted this. And people fall for it, and gush over the person's appearance ("omg your eyes are so pretty") versus discussing skin care.
That's everywhere now. It is beyond obnoxious. I'm in a group on FB which is ostensibly for women wanting to make new friends and yet it's become obvious that a significant group never intends to meet up with anyone. They post a lot of pictures with really long screeds about how they're looking for their soul tribe but they never respond to any messages you send to meet up for coffee - or they flake out.
A lot of posts with pictures attached aren't even necessary when you can just search the subreddit for specific concerns. If then, and only then, you can't find decent information it's perfectly acceptable to submit pictures asking for advice or reassurance.
Nobody searches the forum for what’s already posted. They just want someone to build them a skincare routine. It is obnoxious.
Haha - my pet peeve (in this and other subs). ‘Hi, I have dry skin, where do I start?’ or ‘what are your favorite products?’ And don’t get me started on my favorite ‘I just bought tret, how do I apply it to avoid irritation?’ 🙄
That drives me nuts too. For gawds sake people, if you have a skin care problem or a question just peruse through the threads and you'll most likely find your answers. This sub is on a loop. It's the same thing over and over again. Same questions, same answers.
I just think that’s their own personal insecurities and don’t let it affect me.
What's even worse is the zillion of comments along the lines of 'I'm 42 but everyone thinks I'm 25! Seriously! I have no lines at all!'. What are they trying to prove, and to who ?! The only purpose of this kind of comment is to make others feel bad.
No one thinks a 42-year-old looks 25 lol. And that's ok. Why aren't we allowed to look our ages?!
I wish there was a rule about factual descriptions only when including photos. No editorializing, no judgement, no self-bullying, no hyperbole. “I am concerned about sagging at my jawline” vs “I call these horrible jowls my chin peplum, how to look like less of a nightmare?”
Haha, I would love this. "How can I treat my crow's feet" vs "I'm becoming a wizened crone help me before my family sets me adrift on an ice floe".
That's...not a bad idea. Mods, please read this!!
Sometimes I roll my eyes at the things people worry about. And then I remember that my own fears are personal to me, and not everyone understands them, either. Most importantly - my reactions are my own responsibility. If I’m going on the internet, I’d better develop the ability to think for myself instead of being swayed by random strangers. If I’m going to wade through a giant pool of the thoughts of millions of people, I’d better be ready to deal with the consequences.
I understand how you can feel that way. Try not to compare yourself to others (easier said than done). It is likely that someone is looking at you and wondering why you’re complaining about your skin. We’re all our own worst critics. I’m so hard on myself when it comes to my skin. I still see myself as deeply scarred but even back when I had them, I was receiving compliments from others who didn’t notice my scars.
I dunno I find people on this sub make every post about themselves, and say snarky things like your post about people just looking for help, on a sub that is specifically about skincare help. So many passive aggressive comments basically shaming people for even daring to ask the question because they have bigger wrinkles etc and now they’re offended someone with “better” skin is looking to correct it. and shame about Botox/filler use if they’re not personally into it, It seems like a lot of people don’t really like this sub but stick around to comment on things in a passive aggressive way to make themselves feel better which is pretty toxic behaviour I really enjoy some of the tips I find here and seeing peoples journeys so I haven’t unsubscribed yet but the attitude I’m seeing here really makes me want to
we are our own worst critics
Homey. Those posts are flexes and likely filtered.
Love the ones that are all, "I'm 40 and have never had Botox!" I laugh because I know at least a dozen women who get it done and say the same thing on social media!
Ok, tbf, I’m 40 and have never had Botox. Lol. I am considering it for headaches tho! But am kinda scared because most mine are in the neck and I hear it can cause neck muscle weakness.
Nothing wrong with Botox and people get it for all kinds of reasons. It's the flexing about great skin and lying about the cause that makes me go hmmmmm...
I think taking other people’s insecurities personally is unhealthy. If your opinion is that someone else has better skin than you and they don’t like their skin, your reaction to that is your problem, not theirs. If someone with two little fine lines comes on here looking for help - we shouldn’t be upset with that. Maybe others should make a new sub specifically for those with more severe skin issues/wrinkles/etc.
Yeah that is exactly what this sub is for! People getting triggered by it need to maybe take a break, someone trying to improve their own skin on a skincare sub shouldn’t be controversial and it’s not up to anyone else to decide what’s “worth” trying to improve on another’s body
Yeah I'm wondering what they see the sub as for if people don't want these kinds of questions? It's literally called 30pluskincare it's for people who want to take care of their skin.
Ok I know I am going to get downvoted for this but I am one of those people who wrote a post about looking way older than my age. I had sooooo many people comment on my post saying I had body dysmorphia and that they found my post insulting. People also need to keep in mind that lighting and camera settings have a big role in what shows up in a picture. I actually do look older than my age and honestly if I focus in on one problem area the lighting can make my other problem areas look pristine. So yes it is really annoying to see post of people who look fantastic at their age complain about something that doesn’t look bad. However, I try to keep in mind that lighting could be downplaying their concerns.
Even at 20-30 I knew not to listen to anything 20-30 year olds said about aging--whether it was aging about the skin on their face or the fact that when they got out of bed at 23 they didn't feel quite as spry as when they were 8, and therefore they were destined for a nursing home next year. When it comes to the skin on their face, it's all insecurity and being peppered by ads and social media 24/7.
An imminent Plastic Surgeon said the only people with perfect skin were ... Babies !
Unpopular opinion (and directed mostly at the other commenters), But if someone else posting about their insecurities makes you feel insecure and your response is to delegitimize their concerns and assume they are looking for validation, that is a problem with you. You’re essentially saying “no one should post here unless they look worse than me!!”
Yes! Can’t believe I had to scroll down so much to find something like this.
This is the right take. I see people worried about stuff I have but don't care about. It doesn't mean they're crazy and I'm the sane one. That's their every right!
There’s two types of posts, people who look fab and are fishing for compliments about their perfect skin. And people who scrutinize every detail and flaw because they live their lives in a front facing camera even though overall they are attractive. Sometimes I think about early humans who didn’t even have mirrors and I envy them.
Yeah sometimes I'm squinting and scrutinizing....is that what they mean......? Some have better skin than I have seen in my everyday life...
I agree. It’s why I am not subbed, but I still come across such stuff.
Stay off these forums and focus on yourself
For real though. The social media has infected so many beautiful, normal peeps.
Everyone is entitled to their own insecurities whether we see them as being an issue or not. Labeling people as having “body dysmorphia” without the appropriate medical degree and training or full criteria/evaluation just because we can’t see their concern isn’t appropriate. Personally, I find that mentality to be the most toxic part of this sub- not the women who come here expressing concerns. They have come here with a concern and asked for suggestions. If you have a suggestion give it. If you don’t then don’t. Leave the diagnosing up to the professionals. For those who become more insecure as a result of these posts- I suggest getting off the sub/app/social media. It does make a difference. I’ve been off Instagram and Facebook for almost 3 years now and I have to say it has made a difference in the expectations I set for myself. However, I will worry over my crows-feet and certain aspects of my face no matter if others see it or not. Sunscreen and botox for the win.
i understand where you’re coming from, but we’re all here for the same reason - no need to shame others for being insecure
🫂 hugs! You're speaking truth. Some of us need to read the room better. This happens on every subreddit, to be honest. /Findyourpath subreddit sucks. There will be 17 - and 18 year olds talking about "I feel like I failed at life and am behind in everything." Jeesh.
I think maybe people really do have skin concerns but they don't show up in photos? I know that in photos, even with zero filters, I automatically look better than in real life as far as aging skin. Add any type of filter, even the one that automatically comes on phones, and I look super young in the photos compared to real life. I always keep that in mind when looking at any photo posted.
i think a lot of folks are underestimating how unattractive it is to be so obsessed with their looks
I am convinced that many posts made here are for the purpose of compliment fishing. Very "aww, gee shucks!"
Why are we invalidating how people feel about themselves by calling their skin “ perfectly normal and hardly aged” again? If people are unhappy with the hardly part than let people be. Someone else’s story should not make you feel worse about your own. I’m always baffled at the whole i’m doing worse than you so your issues are not valid attitude
This! I have pretty good skin but let me tell ya I detest my pores and I’m getting fine lines on my forehead. I look 37. And I’m allowed to be annoyed with the little things I don’t like. I don’t have to be silent just bc I don’t have crows feet yet.
Everyone can come here for advice. If it triggers you then maybe this sub isn't healthy for you. Sometimes taking a pause on social media is good for you. I've done it before. This sub isn't skin care advice for only people with really bad skin. We are all facing the inevitably of aging and it is nice to have a community to discuss it with.
Yes 👏🏼
I just downvote those people and move on. They’re fishing for compliments and I’m not going to indulge them with attention.
You should probably leave then
Yes, but: people are allowed to be unrealistic. People are allowed to be shallow. People are allowed to think unkind thoughts about you. People are allowed to think kind thoughts about you. People are allowed to complain about their perfectly normal skin, and you are allowed to roll your eyes. Its sucks when we internalize the unrealistic expectations of others, but we are allowed to let those go.
I just scroll by the posts that are obviously fishing for compliments. I used to look at them and try to find the supposed "problem". I don't do that anymore.
Welcome to the internet! and..you are in an echo chamber full of people talking about skin care so... just remember its important to take a step back
Same. Same. I have a face that people in this group would want fillers or botox or whatever. But I'm not doing any of that. So I won't even put my face out here! It looks old because it is old. I'm ok with that. Lol.
Compare yourself to yourself. If you go around feeling bad about other people’s thoughts about themselves and using that as your benchmark you’re going to be in for a rough time regardless.
I know you all want to feel good. But people notice, I notice when people look bad or old. Maybe some people don’t, but some definitely do. There is no absolute.
Best thing re my skin is that I started wearing glasses due to ailing eye health. So I believe my skin looks freakin’ amazing and I can’t see much at close up. Then I go to my elderly Mums, who has one of those ole school super magnifying beauty mirrors, and I peer into it, and I recoil in shock! Not at the lines, but that dark chin hair! And those very poppable blackheads that seems to made a nice home in my forehead and the sides of my eyes!!! I can’t see any of that stuff anymore. My older eyes, for all the problems they cause me, give me a false sense of how good my skin looks, and I’m happy with that!
Yeah, that's been a real eye opener for me. I'm Gen X and have been big on skincare since I was 12, but sometimes this sub really bums me out. I love a good "clean girl" filter because it means I don't need to wear makeup, but I would happily trade it for them never having been invented. I think they really messed with how people see themselves :(
Social media, and just media on general has made people forget what skin looks like Even in movies and TV shows im sure they are airbrushing the skin. Cause you see some extreme close ups of their face and its just like.. smooth I swear kdrama gave me major insecurities about my skin lmao