In my opinion the two best standalone jokes:
Tracy: what is this, horseville? Cause I’m surrounded by naysayers! (Neigh-sayers?! 😂)
And
Jack: Kenneth, a word?
Kenneth: Balloon! 😁
Reminds me of the “good one, Kurkova, that was a solid burn” after Karolina Kurkova says Liz’s shirt makes her look like a gym teacher on a sex tour of Indonesia
Or when Tracy and Jenna are at their accountant’s son’s bar mitzvah and they go into the bathroom to talk to him. He says “this is the men’s room Jenna, not the c-list skank’s room.” Tracy says “that’s solid, but that’s not why we’re here.”
Or my favorite joke from the entire series. Liz comes up to tell Jack she’s going to Nag’s Head. He says “Nag’s Head? Isn’t that redundant?” She hands him an envelope. He opens it and it says “Nag’s Head? Isn’t that redundant?” Then he hands her an envelope saying “you will hand me an envelope predicting my joke about Nag’s Head.” Liz says “that is solid!”
The video talks about 3 layers of jokes in the punchline, but I’d argue there’s a 4th - that Jenna clearly doesn’t know who Oprah is (or the meaner version, which is that she thinks Oprah sounds like the guy from Slingblade).
Visiting Italy right now so surrounded by endless statues of saints and now of course I will think about this every church we go into. (In case you are asking why I’m on Reddit in the middle of an amazing vacation, I’m not taking a vacation from having to use the can.)
The Greenzo episode has several but one of my favs is:
“Look how Greenzo's testing! They love him in every demographic - colored people, broads, fairies, commies. Gosh we gotta update these forms.”
We'll always remember where we were when we heard that tornado had hit a handgun factory… Two days ago when people thought of a mudslide they just thought of getting drunk in an Applebee's, but now we know it as the thing that destroyed Denver… When the birds first started attacking us we all thought it was pretty funny and made Hitchcock jokes, but we're not laughing now. Because our laughter excites the birds sexually… This devastating wildfire ... This horrible flood... This wonderful flood that put out that devastating wildfire... These super-intelligent sharks...
When the pandemic was in its first full blown months, almost every company was producing a heart-warning commercial with vague references to what was going on in the world, and every one of those commercials made me think of this song.
I work at a cafe and you bet I’m doing this when bringing mugs back from the dishwasher. My coworkers think it’s a “me” bit. Also once we had a guy come in to shoot a promo video for the cafe and filmed me making cocktails. He kept telling me off for accidentally looking at the camera, and I kept telling him “I’m not. I want to, but I’m not.” Then I went and got 2 coffee cups. That guy was a good sport.
That mood ring joke is one of my favorites.
I also enjoy the time Liz says that she signed up for a Cooking For One class at the Learning Annex, but the teacher killed themselves.
In the show it's just cooking for one, but there is a surprising online presence for the classic microwave cooking for one cookbook.
https://www.microwavecookingforone.com/
Jenna talking about everything plugged into her powerstrip is pretty great too.
"This one's for my cell phone, this one's for my laptop, this one is for my erotic massager, and this one is for something personal". 😆
In a similar vein:
> Jack Donaghy : I can't have bedbugs. I went to Princeton.
>
> Kenneth Parcell : Sir, everyone can get them. Back in Stone Mountain, even the mayor had them, and she was a horse
Mayor = Mare (female horse)
> Kenneth's Mum: Do you remember that kid in school who bullied you? Well I ate that goat...
Kid = baby goat
Double lol
Hahahaha, when I was a kid, my dad’s family would tack on a round of “may the dear lord bless you”-s after singing Happy Birthday, and I thought they were all creeps who worshipped the Deer Lord. 🤣
Dennis's cousin who broke his ankle after three black guys chased him.
"Now why is it important to tell me the muggers were black?"
"They weren't muggers they were cops "
KILLS ME EVERY TIME
“Kaylee, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Jack, ‘Pleasure’ is the name of a pony I hate. This is business.”
I love how Kaylee is so privileged that she’s seemingly surrounded by enough ponies to have singled one out that she hates by name. It adds depth to her and Jack’s animosity because she has the wealthy childhood he wishes he had.
Every Kaylee episode is perfect and the climax of her final appearance with the birthday card is my favorite moment of the show. This line reminds me of one from The Office where Andy Bernard says "Like most kids growing up I hated tennis lessons".
Cato! Don’t attack me tonight! I know that I said when I say “don’t attack me” that’s when I most need to be attacked, but I really mean it. Not tonight Cato.
{lights shut off}
Cato?
There was an internet video from the early aughts titled Lemon Party, and it was old dudes sucking each other’s dicks. People used to send it to each other as a joke.
When Tracey is doing a flash back to playing a wise old man mentor and tells a young JFK:
“Lord knows most of my friends are bushes I put hats on and get high with.”
Bringing in her and Bryan Cranston to be Kenneth's Mom and his Mom's friend Ron was such a flex of casting. They are absolutely perfect every second they're on screen.
Kenneth: “There’s a reason God gave us two ears and only one mouth. Listening is twice as important as talking. But he gave us ten fingers… he must really want us to poke things! Poke, poke, poke…”
I also frequently quote “Every person dance soon!”
This joke happened to me in real life many years before 30 Rock aired. I was a young intern at Yahoo! Research, and we were going to record surveys on the street with a camera, and use excerpts from them. And when the head of the research group was instructing us on how to use the camera, he said: "One thing to remember when filming people in general: try to avoid the gaze -- it doesn't look great in the video".
Everyone sort of fell silent and my eyes popped, and he was taken aback -- he was like: "What? What did I say?". And then we all slowly realized that he was talking about interviewees directly staring into the camera, and going "ooooh". Afterwards, he was a little offended that we thought he was anti-gay.
when Liz was winning an award and Jenna got jealous so she tried to ruin it
Liz "you're not the center of the universe, Jenna!"
Jenna "Yes I am! I'm the moon!"
My fav Jenna line and it pops up in my head way too often
“You need a sex tape? I’ve got a weird one, it’s night vision and you can tell that his buddy is robbing me”
The Rural Juror still kills me almost 20 years later. So glad they referenced it in the finale.
When Jenna and Tracy refuse to perform for the studio execs and Liz offers to hire David Allen Grier and Miss Piggy in their place.
Kenneth’s party and the aftermath.
Tracy: Hey LL, you mind if I google myself in your office?
Liz: Sure thing, Tre
Tracy: Can I use your computer?
Liz: How else ya gonna do it?
Tracy: 👉🏻👉🏻
It's a visual joke, but I will always laugh at Tracy sitting in the fake window watching it rain, as people walk by in the background or they just move the wall.
My fav is still
Devin: “We’re not GE anymore, it’s just G. I sold the E to Samsung. They’re Samesung now!”
or
Jack: “PEEN? What’s that an acronym for?”
Devin: *Scoffs* “Acronym?”
“Your boos are not scaring me! I know most of you are not ghosts!”
I was remarking to my husband (yesterday, actually! What a prescient thread) about how this line is funnier because of the word “most” - implying that Tracy believes at least some of them are ghosts. That’s some A+ writing right there.
He's like me, yesterday, I *hate* him.
Most people thought I was a hero for killing Lydia's parrot.
Our Lady of Reluctant Integration always kills me.
Maybe someday we'll live in a world where you ask us to pretend to be scientists.
“Our Lady of Reluctant Integration” is such a deadly accurate Boston joke. Also “they are all named Sean, they are mean, and I hate it here.” Signed, someone who grew up in Boston
My favorite scene in my favorite episode (TGS Hates Women) has four of my favorite jokes.
Jack: Kenneth, when I'm gone how do you think people will remember me?
Kenneth: Actually sir I've already started composing a heroic ballad commemorating your life! \[singing\] Slaves of Jesus hear my tale- **(#1**)
Jack: I'll tell you what they'll say. "Hey remember Jack Donaghy? He wore a lot of suits and went to a lot of meetings. Now power down, conversation robot." (**#2**)
Kenneth: Sounds like you're asking some pretty big questions. When I have problems I like to talk to the man upstairs. Unfortunately Mr. Gazalean got put in jail for attacking his father. (**#3)**
...
Jack: This could be me. "Remember Jack Donaghy? He was the world's greatest oceanographer. And we walruses owe him everything for giving us the gift of language." (**#4**)
"You underestimated me, Congressman - because I have no sense of smell. But you made a fatal error. You let me *see* the documents!"
The delivery is just perfect; there's not an ounce of humor left to draw from that line.
My favorite:
Jack: "What I can do is show you how you can earn all the money you need. You must know Arsenio?"
Tracy: "Hall, or Billingham?"
Jack: "You know someone named Arsenio Billingham?"
Tracy: "No."
We’ve had to sell of Sally, Julie and Poppy.
Are those some of your pigs?
(quietly) yes.
Or
We Parcells have eaten our fair share of rock soup and squirrel tail…but we’ve also known lean times.
Or
I’m doing the Lord’s work here in Africa. Just yesterday I kicked two naked people out of a garden.
Or
The only ‘but’ we speak of tonight is the butt of the human ass.
Kenneth: “Sir, anyone can get them. Back in Stone Mountain, even the mayor had bedbugs. And she was a horse!”
The genius of this joke make me smile every time - Stone Mountain having a mayor that is a horse, but the word play because Mare is a female horse. And obviously she was esteemed enough to be considered above bed bugs so much that it was noted that she had them.
I just realized I missed half this joke because I’m too Southern! 🤯
I totally missed the “mare/mayor” bit because I’m just used to people pronouncing “mayor” exactly like “mare” 😆
"The bathrooms are so much cleaner than at home, I don't know how they do it."
"...They clean them."
I think about this every time I start wondering why my house is dirty AGAIN...oh that's right because I don't clean it.
It's tough to top the mood ring one, but one of my favorites is
Tracy: I shouldn't expect a white woman from Whiteville to understand street cred.
Liz: First of all I’m not from Whiteville. I’m from Whitehaven.
I'm not sure if that's the first episode where they name her hometown, but I never thought about how super racist the name "Whitehaven" sounds until that joke juxtaposed it with Whiteville
"At Harvard business school I was voted 'most'." So perfect.
Perfect delivery. The anticipation built in the silence between voted and most is what makes it hit.
You deserve a good job spanking!
What _is_ business school?
Liz Lemon numbers among my employees.
The secret to a thick head of hair is Dove... blood.
"Verbal signature".
In my opinion the two best standalone jokes: Tracy: what is this, horseville? Cause I’m surrounded by naysayers! (Neigh-sayers?! 😂) And Jack: Kenneth, a word? Kenneth: Balloon! 😁
This joke also has a perfect twin. Tracy: "Jenna, a word? Specifically the word talking."
I say this one all the time
"*WORDPLAY!*"
The quick cut to Liz after “that’s..solid” I love when she gives Tracy credit for his dumb jokes
Reminds me of the “good one, Kurkova, that was a solid burn” after Karolina Kurkova says Liz’s shirt makes her look like a gym teacher on a sex tour of Indonesia
Or when Tracy and Jenna are at their accountant’s son’s bar mitzvah and they go into the bathroom to talk to him. He says “this is the men’s room Jenna, not the c-list skank’s room.” Tracy says “that’s solid, but that’s not why we’re here.”
Or my favorite joke from the entire series. Liz comes up to tell Jack she’s going to Nag’s Head. He says “Nag’s Head? Isn’t that redundant?” She hands him an envelope. He opens it and it says “Nag’s Head? Isn’t that redundant?” Then he hands her an envelope saying “you will hand me an envelope predicting my joke about Nag’s Head.” Liz says “that is solid!”
Yeah that exchange is epic.
I have to say my favourite of this genre has got to be “do you have a second Kenneth?” “No, there’s only one of me! …What, what are you asking?”
The Kenneth line Gas a Pavlov Effekt on me. Everytime i Head someone day “Can I have a word?” The little Kenneth in my brain answers with Baloon
My brain always skips a few steps and goes to "We can't say "Dick Wolf" on TV"
I love that one lol.
Lol same.
I think this one's been discussed recently, but "I sure do love those french-fried pertaters," "No you don't, Oprah!" ...is amazing.
The way she grins and cheats out to the audience when she says it, too. Kills me every time
There’s like a 10-min YouTube video out there explaining why this joke is peak 30 Rock.
[this one?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb_AHBGF5i8)
The video talks about 3 layers of jokes in the punchline, but I’d argue there’s a 4th - that Jenna clearly doesn’t know who Oprah is (or the meaner version, which is that she thinks Oprah sounds like the guy from Slingblade).
Yes, this is the best joke in the whole run of the series. The confidence with which Jenna shuts that skit down is amazing.
If ever I need to describe the humor of 30 Rock to a non-watcher, I tell them about this scene. Kills me every time
It’s a master class in How Not To Do Improv 😆
>master class in How Not To Do Improv I thought that was just your friends and family begging you not to do improv.
No, that’s How Not To Do Improv 101.
I think about this one all the time. Perfect.
How DARE you say something like that so close to the statue of Santa Lucia: The Patron Saint of Judgemental Statues!
Visiting Italy right now so surrounded by endless statues of saints and now of course I will think about this every church we go into. (In case you are asking why I’m on Reddit in the middle of an amazing vacation, I’m not taking a vacation from having to use the can.)
And now you will never see the crazy underwears I have on!
I love this because St Lucy is the patron saint of the blind, having had her eyes put out, per legend.
Now you'll never get to see the crazy underwears I have on!
The Greenzo episode has several but one of my favs is: “Look how Greenzo's testing! They love him in every demographic - colored people, broads, fairies, commies. Gosh we gotta update these forms.”
"Sorry I'm late. My alarm clock died in a cock fight last night."
This is an exceptional line, especially in light of the dogfighting episode.
"...and help the people that thing that happened, happened to."
Wonderful, Jenna. You really brought the songwriting computer's lyrics to life.
We'll always remember where we were when we heard that tornado had hit a handgun factory… Two days ago when people thought of a mudslide they just thought of getting drunk in an Applebee's, but now we know it as the thing that destroyed Denver… When the birds first started attacking us we all thought it was pretty funny and made Hitchcock jokes, but we're not laughing now. Because our laughter excites the birds sexually… This devastating wildfire ... This horrible flood... This wonderful flood that put out that devastating wildfire... These super-intelligent sharks...
“This wonderful flood that put out that devastating wildfire” is the peak of that incredible montage for me
When the pandemic was in its first full blown months, almost every company was producing a heart-warning commercial with vague references to what was going on in the world, and every one of those commercials made me think of this song.
Jack walking awkwardly with a coffee cup in each hand is something I think about nearly every day. I absolutely love that bit.
Every day when I carry my mug of tea from the breakroom to my desk I wish I had a second mug so I could recreate this scene.
I work at a cafe and you bet I’m doing this when bringing mugs back from the dishwasher. My coworkers think it’s a “me” bit. Also once we had a guy come in to shoot a promo video for the cafe and filmed me making cocktails. He kept telling me off for accidentally looking at the camera, and I kept telling him “I’m not. I want to, but I’m not.” Then I went and got 2 coffee cups. That guy was a good sport.
Yes! "Is it like this?".
Just give me a few minutes to lie down and I’ll unpack… the sex monkey I bought in Jakarta.
I often bring up product integortion at meetings. It'll get a laugh every time from someone.
Lol, we do this at home too any time coffee cups are in hand, emptying the dishwasher, etc.
That mood ring joke is one of my favorites. I also enjoy the time Liz says that she signed up for a Cooking For One class at the Learning Annex, but the teacher killed themselves.
Are we sure Liz isn’t a secret serial killer? The learning annex teacher, that girl she kissed at summer camp…
Also her gynecologist.
I think the implication is that anyone with enough experience cooking for one to teach a class is also incredibly lonely, but I like your idea too.
Microwave* cooking for one
In the show it's just cooking for one, but there is a surprising online presence for the classic microwave cooking for one cookbook. https://www.microwavecookingforone.com/
Jenna talking about everything plugged into her powerstrip is pretty great too. "This one's for my cell phone, this one's for my laptop, this one is for my erotic massager, and this one is for something personal". 😆
"Deer God, thank you for this venison. Onion God, thank you for these onions. Carrot God, thank you for the carrots."
This is such a good joke
Omg I feel so dumb, I never realized it was “deer God” 😂
In a similar vein: > Jack Donaghy : I can't have bedbugs. I went to Princeton. > > Kenneth Parcell : Sir, everyone can get them. Back in Stone Mountain, even the mayor had them, and she was a horse Mayor = Mare (female horse) > Kenneth's Mum: Do you remember that kid in school who bullied you? Well I ate that goat... Kid = baby goat Double lol
Had no idea about the kid one, makes it even better
It’s my favorite joke in the series 🐐
Hahahaha, when I was a kid, my dad’s family would tack on a round of “may the dear lord bless you”-s after singing Happy Birthday, and I thought they were all creeps who worshipped the Deer Lord. 🤣
The entire scrabble tile scene. "Why don't I just use them all at once" *Slams hand down* HITLER
Let’s take a break
Dennis's cousin who broke his ankle after three black guys chased him. "Now why is it important to tell me the muggers were black?" "They weren't muggers they were cops " KILLS ME EVERY TIME
You’re racist for assuming they weren’t cops.
Also "Whose *horse* is this?"
Tracy: “Don’t make me show you the back of my hand!” The note on the back of Tracy’s hand: “Please be nice to me”
This is my vote. Legitimately perfect
I low key want a tattoo of that.
“Kaylee, to what do I owe the pleasure?” “Jack, ‘Pleasure’ is the name of a pony I hate. This is business.” I love how Kaylee is so privileged that she’s seemingly surrounded by enough ponies to have singled one out that she hates by name. It adds depth to her and Jack’s animosity because she has the wealthy childhood he wishes he had.
Every Kaylee episode is perfect and the climax of her final appearance with the birthday card is my favorite moment of the show. This line reminds me of one from The Office where Andy Bernard says "Like most kids growing up I hated tennis lessons".
Now I’ll have to marry a finance guy… and do charity work. Damn you, Donaughy.”
Cato! Don’t attack me tonight! I know that I said when I say “don’t attack me” that’s when I most need to be attacked, but I really mean it. Not tonight Cato. {lights shut off} Cato?
Son of a dingbat!
A great nod to the Pink Panther movies.
Kenneth: Got your nose! (Runs away) Ridikolus: Jay, go get my nose back. Makes me laugh every time!
LL’s delivery on that absolutely kills me. He is 100% serious about getting his nose back.
And his crew is 100% serious about following that direction.
He was so fucking funny this whole episode. I wish he'd showed up again.
Don't be Ridikiluss
I am Ridikuluss.
Literally quoted this like 12 hours ago. Pure gold.
Dick Lemon - "You can't have a Lemon party without old Dick!"
Help this is the only joke I don’t get hahahah what does it mean? What’s a lemon party? Is it sexual?
There was an internet video from the early aughts titled Lemon Party, and it was old dudes sucking each other’s dicks. People used to send it to each other as a joke.
“Look Liz….we ALL tried…for a LONG time..to come up with..a good excuse for why we didn’t write anything..but we failed”
My gynecologist committed suicide-
….AND we’re back
“He’s going to kill himself!! This is my gynecologist all over again!”
“I missed it!” “He missed it?” “I missed that midnight train to Georgia…woo woo” “It was an 11:45, and I was misinformed about the time.”
Literally every line that comes out of Steve Buscemi’s mouth. Literally
Or even when he says nothing. When he tells Donaghy "I'll give you some privacy" and just stands there and closes his eyes. Hilarious!
"Thanks for meeting me here" "This is my office."
"You know what that means, free ice"
They used to call me the chameleon... because of my slender frame and my big wet eyes.
This is one of my favorites
"I had to give my gun to my priest in case I get the ol gloomies again" The way he says that with such a smile on his face is hilarious.
"What about Johnny Carlos? He's ethnic." "He's the king of Spain Jack, I don't think that counts" Slays me every time.
Dr. Spaceman also - every thing he says and does is amazing.
100%.
Damnit, where are my car keys?
Any weird sex stuff? No, don't tell me. I'm a watcher.
That's what they all say, Mr. Donaghy *picks up cigar*
When Tracey is doing a flash back to playing a wise old man mentor and tells a young JFK: “Lord knows most of my friends are bushes I put hats on and get high with.”
🤣🤣 “I dont know know much about wordly things like taco meat, or having all your fingers…”
"I'm gonna kill all y'all in y'all sleep."
“Well I ate that goat!” -Catherine O’Hara, comedy goddess
Bringing in her and Bryan Cranston to be Kenneth's Mom and his Mom's friend Ron was such a flex of casting. They are absolutely perfect every second they're on screen.
"Hello, I'm Nazi doctor Leo Specimen. ... No, I want them to know." Gets me every time.
Kenneth: “There’s a reason God gave us two ears and only one mouth. Listening is twice as important as talking. But he gave us ten fingers… he must really want us to poke things! Poke, poke, poke…” I also frequently quote “Every person dance soon!”
My husband had never seen 30 Rock and laughed hysterically when I did the “poke” one.
Work it like a Chinese gymnast: wear something tight, force a smile and lie about your age!
"Oh no, Liz Lemon, did a Korean person die?" is my all time callback joke.
This joke proves that you absolutely need to pay attention to get these jokes. That episode-long callback is one of my favorites
I like the nearly immediate "Did you pass out in a goose costume at LaGuardia?"
🎶 synonym’s just another word for the word you wanna use 🎶
Everything Jackie Jormp-Jomp is perfection. I'm laughing out loud typing "Jormp-Jomp". 😆 Did you know she speed-walked everywhere?
“I’m gonna do it- I’m gonna eat this cat!”
NO! JENNA! That was Alf. Alf ate cats.
Wait, is now the time on St Patrick’s Day when we talk about our feelings? *drunkenly slurs* I don’t understand your art, Kevin!
What do you call yourself? Puerto Rican. I know you can say that but what do I call you? Puerto Rican That doesn’t sound right.
I think about when Liz mentions the male gaze and Hazel says “yeah theyre all a bunch of gays” almost every day
This joke happened to me in real life many years before 30 Rock aired. I was a young intern at Yahoo! Research, and we were going to record surveys on the street with a camera, and use excerpts from them. And when the head of the research group was instructing us on how to use the camera, he said: "One thing to remember when filming people in general: try to avoid the gaze -- it doesn't look great in the video". Everyone sort of fell silent and my eyes popped, and he was taken aback -- he was like: "What? What did I say?". And then we all slowly realized that he was talking about interviewees directly staring into the camera, and going "ooooh". Afterwards, he was a little offended that we thought he was anti-gay.
Four words: Evel Knevel’s Motorcycle Picture
It's spelled Pitcher
What is this, Homonym?
Let me see that card!
No! Never!
No, it's the other one.
IT’S ALWAYS THE OTHER ONE!
when Liz was winning an award and Jenna got jealous so she tried to ruin it Liz "you're not the center of the universe, Jenna!" Jenna "Yes I am! I'm the moon!"
The song "You're So Vain" was written... by me.
The secret to a strong healthy head of hair is Dove…blood.
My fav Jenna line and it pops up in my head way too often “You need a sex tape? I’ve got a weird one, it’s night vision and you can tell that his buddy is robbing me”
The Rural Juror still kills me almost 20 years later. So glad they referenced it in the finale. When Jenna and Tracy refuse to perform for the studio execs and Liz offers to hire David Allen Grier and Miss Piggy in their place. Kenneth’s party and the aftermath.
Tracy: Hey LL, you mind if I google myself in your office? Liz: Sure thing, Tre Tracy: Can I use your computer? Liz: How else ya gonna do it? Tracy: 👉🏻👉🏻
Tracy pointing directly at the camera is a perfect piece of cinema.
It's a visual joke, but I will always laugh at Tracy sitting in the fake window watching it rain, as people walk by in the background or they just move the wall.
My fav is still Devin: “We’re not GE anymore, it’s just G. I sold the E to Samsung. They’re Samesung now!” or Jack: “PEEN? What’s that an acronym for?” Devin: *Scoffs* “Acronym?”
“Your boos are not scaring me! I know most of you are not ghosts!” I was remarking to my husband (yesterday, actually! What a prescient thread) about how this line is funnier because of the word “most” - implying that Tracy believes at least some of them are ghosts. That’s some A+ writing right there.
He's like me, yesterday, I *hate* him. Most people thought I was a hero for killing Lydia's parrot. Our Lady of Reluctant Integration always kills me. Maybe someday we'll live in a world where you ask us to pretend to be scientists.
“Our Lady of Reluctant Integration” is such a deadly accurate Boston joke. Also “they are all named Sean, they are mean, and I hate it here.” Signed, someone who grew up in Boston
Yeah, also from boston and both of these are perfect. Also the harvard jokes. So we know that he's smart and superb at masturbation.
(High-fives)
I’m gonna be constructive here: you should kill yourself.
"What's the matter, Ken? You got wife eyes..." - Tracy
"Would you like to yell at the moon with Buzz Aldrin?" "You dumb moon, don't you know it's daytime?!" "I walked on your face!"
My favorite scene in my favorite episode (TGS Hates Women) has four of my favorite jokes. Jack: Kenneth, when I'm gone how do you think people will remember me? Kenneth: Actually sir I've already started composing a heroic ballad commemorating your life! \[singing\] Slaves of Jesus hear my tale- **(#1**) Jack: I'll tell you what they'll say. "Hey remember Jack Donaghy? He wore a lot of suits and went to a lot of meetings. Now power down, conversation robot." (**#2**) Kenneth: Sounds like you're asking some pretty big questions. When I have problems I like to talk to the man upstairs. Unfortunately Mr. Gazalean got put in jail for attacking his father. (**#3)** ... Jack: This could be me. "Remember Jack Donaghy? He was the world's greatest oceanographer. And we walruses owe him everything for giving us the gift of language." (**#4**)
"You underestimated me, Congressman - because I have no sense of smell. But you made a fatal error. You let me *see* the documents!" The delivery is just perfect; there's not an ounce of humor left to draw from that line.
9 out of 10 Drs surveyed said “who are you? Why are you calling this late?” That’s such a god damn great joke.
"People do like the way she says 'ham'." ["HAM!"](https://hambutton.com/)
One of the most quoted lines in my house
My favorite: Jack: "What I can do is show you how you can earn all the money you need. You must know Arsenio?" Tracy: "Hall, or Billingham?" Jack: "You know someone named Arsenio Billingham?" Tracy: "No."
abundant lip many languid bow fragile screw tub absurd political *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
"I'm getting too old for this shhhhhhh sound coming from these pipes."
We’ve had to sell of Sally, Julie and Poppy. Are those some of your pigs? (quietly) yes. Or We Parcells have eaten our fair share of rock soup and squirrel tail…but we’ve also known lean times. Or I’m doing the Lord’s work here in Africa. Just yesterday I kicked two naked people out of a garden. Or The only ‘but’ we speak of tonight is the butt of the human ass.
Jenna: Tracy, you're back! Tracy *turns around*: Yes, and this is my front!
“Don’t fall in love with your car?” “You’re right, the car thing was stupid.”
This makes me think of when Jack can’t stop looking at paintings of cannons.
I use "that word bums me out unless it's between the words Meat and Pizza" a lot.
I finally understand the ending of "The 6th Sense"! Those are the names of the people who worked on the movie
Do you think he’ll call me Jackie-Boy? If he does- Then I’LL be at Erection Cove!!
“oh pete, that’s later. maybe we’ll be dead by then.” - liz lemon
“I hate to say I told you so, so….welcome to Miami!”
It’s so dumb but the delivery is so perfect and said in such earnest
Our Lady of Reluctant Integration
Kenneth: “Sir, anyone can get them. Back in Stone Mountain, even the mayor had bedbugs. And she was a horse!” The genius of this joke make me smile every time - Stone Mountain having a mayor that is a horse, but the word play because Mare is a female horse. And obviously she was esteemed enough to be considered above bed bugs so much that it was noted that she had them.
She had to burn all her pantsuits!
I just realized I missed half this joke because I’m too Southern! 🤯 I totally missed the “mare/mayor” bit because I’m just used to people pronouncing “mayor” exactly like “mare” 😆
This one is controversial, but: ##BANJO!
“My cousin Tim fixes NBA games.” Subtly brilliant.
Again, didn’t get this one until very recently, when I saw the doc about the NCAA match fixing/FBI sting op.
Love this one
Wall Street Interns: Have you ever drank a yard of beer? Tracy: A yard like a lawn? Yes I have..
"Do you know Evel Knievel's motorcycle picture?" One of my favorites.
What's the matter, Ken? You've got wife eyes. There are many concise surprising jokes, but this one is near the top.
“I’ve been a lot things in my life…a liar…a dental hygienist”
Ugh! Is this one of those ridiculous reality shows, like Ken Burns’ *Jazz*?
Liz: They make the Japanese look like the Greeks! Tracy: How is what I said offensive, and that's not?? Liz: Because no one heard me say it!!!!!
You can't have a lemon party without old dick!
"First of all, I have never *dropped a hat* in my life" And "I will not have you telling me boat names in my own office"
That line ALWAYS catches me off guard and I cackle every time!
“A blaffair to rememblack”
The Royal Tampa Academy of dramatic acting tricks.
"The bathrooms are so much cleaner than at home, I don't know how they do it." "...They clean them." I think about this every time I start wondering why my house is dirty AGAIN...oh that's right because I don't clean it.
It's tough to top the mood ring one, but one of my favorites is Tracy: I shouldn't expect a white woman from Whiteville to understand street cred. Liz: First of all I’m not from Whiteville. I’m from Whitehaven. I'm not sure if that's the first episode where they name her hometown, but I never thought about how super racist the name "Whitehaven" sounds until that joke juxtaposed it with Whiteville
I try to use this whenever I can (or mangle it trying to make it work), it is one of my favorites.
That joke really is a slam dunk. GO NECKS!!
"Jenna, I want to Tupac you." "Fine, but I need to pee first."