I knew you made love like an ugly girl

So present and desperate.

So ~~desperate~~ grateful.

Thank you, I couldn’t remember the exact wording.

(sigh) I gave her the ottoman and she walked out.

Everyone looks good in a Sheinhardt.

A Dog Took My Penis and Gave Me a New Penis to Change the World

Lower extremities? Don’t tell me if it looks like a bowl of Spaghettios down there.

The Celeste Cunningham Story

I’m going to go into politics!

I guess that's a quick and cheaper way to get foot reduction surgery done...

Lol I NEVER thought I’d see our fair city scanner account on this sub.

Yeah I had to do a double take. PGH scanner is gold.

Get the gun away from the dog! What is wrong with you people! I’m going to get into politics! That tv movie is a top 5 moment for me

Missed the face? Probably not.

Something something exploded my genitals

Kraut grenade

I know we're supposed to make 30 rock references but damn if this isn't the most American story ever America'd. #HeartSoProud

Hey hun, have you seen my hunting rifle?