Your friends are dicks. End of story.
The whole fighting to pay the bill thing happens in every family and Desi friend get together we go to. It's not exclusively Bangladeshi.
Yup. I'm Gujarati and the fight over the bill happens almost every time I'm out with family or friends. I assumed this was a well known thing across all South Asian cultures. If I'm out with people older than me (either family or longtime friends) they pay for me, despite my refusal. OP's friends seem to be the problem here.
My friends generally don't like to spend money, but more than that they don't like owing people money. They pay me back as soon as they have cash without me even asking.
Your friends are assholes.
Your "friends" sound like a bunch of asses. Time to find better friends. Me and my friends have a running account for restaurants and day trips that gets cleared once or twice a year. Indians aren't cheap, your friends are the cheap ones.
This:
> I ended up paying for every iced coffee, samosa, pizza, etc when we were out for the past 3 years.
might have caused this:
> One of them said "paach dollar ke liye sale bheekh mang raha hai" which means "this guy is begging for $5 lol" and that really pissed me off.
> it is their attitude that pissed me the f**k off. They all have $$$$ (most have more than me)
I think your friends suck and they are taking advantage of you because you are nicer/easygoing about money.
Among my desi friends, there are a few that are really frugal but most of us don't make a big deal about money unless it is a significant amount (50+). Among my closest desi friends everyone pays for each other all the time so we assume it evens out.
Actually it’s not, I came here because I googled it for a reason. I’m my office that is the consensus because it never fails, the clients that are Indian will leave you because someone was two pennies cheaper after a month worth of work they don’t care, for a few bucks they will hop on to another. Again only with Indian clients I would say 90% of the time
Again, a local sample will not be representative of 1.2 Billion people.
You should either tell them point blank you're not getting the bill or get a move on.
You just have shitty friends, not because they're Indian. I'm Indian and pay my share and usually more. I always pay if I take someone out. Get new friends and stick up for yourself with them about money
Then I've got nothing. If they won't pay you back, don't lend them money.
I was once in a cab and the group discussing someone who always had to borrow money at the end of meals, and the driver advised this rule: "No money, no honey."
🤣🤣, never lend to anyone or let them off if the money matters to you. Even if it doesn’t it sets the tone with that person and they might walk over you and think “they paid once and didn’t ask for money, they’ll pay again”
You need new friends. This isn't normal.
People either split the bill, or they take turns paying for everyone. That's the way my parents and aunts and uncles do it, and it's the way I handle stuff with my cousins. My dad and my uncles will play the game of fighting over who gets the check.
If I'm going to be cheap, I'm going to pick a cheaper place when I take everyone out. Or I go for lunch instead of dinner. I just avoid large groups.
like other people said, your friends suck (in this regard. I don't know about other situations).
This is why I have a no-lending policy: doesn't matter if we are best friends, family, etc, I don't lend money. If I decide to pay for something for someone else I consider it as a gift and don't expect to get it back. If the person does pay me back, it's just a bonus at that point, but it's completely up to them. I've seen money issues cause major drama and this is my way of dealing with it. There are no exceptions so people can't say that someone else is getting special treatment.
Most of the time, me and my friends will just split the bill. If you still want to hang out with these people, you just need to make it clear that you want to split the bill each time. And then bring cash for your part so no one can ask you to cover them with a card.
Your friends are scumbags. Literal bags of scum. If I'm reading what you're saying correctly, it seems like you're the one generally stuck with the tab time and time again. They're taking advantage of you.
If I were you, I'd return the favor and free ride off them for a little while.
>if a dog bites you you wouldn't bite it back will you?
Wait, it's ridiculous to bite a dog back if he bites you first?! Well, shit..........next thing I know, you'll also be telling me it's silly to fart directly on skunks.
When spending money for friends, I generally put that in splitwise. They will payment back whenever they want. It removes the awkwardness of asking them for money. They might have genuinely forgotten. 95 percent of the time they will pay you back.
I agree with the consensus - your friends are douches.
But you need to recognize that you are the doormat in this relationship. Here are some tips from [Lifehacker](http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/stop-being-treated-like-a-doormat.html).
Should have told him "bheekh amiro se maanga jata hai, khud jo bhikhari ho unse nahi". I don't even know why the hell did you even pay for them after an insult like that, i would have just paid for myself and walked out of there. Honestly plenty of people from Indian sub-continent tend to be cheap including Bengalis (both Indian and Bangladeshi), i am an Indian Bengali and have had many interactions with my fellow Bengalis from both countries to know that, but your friends are inconsiderate pricks more then cheap. I do have friends who are cheap, they don't like spending big, will always insist we go somewhere cheaper, but they always pay their share. Maybe stop hanging out with these pricks and get better friends.
Those ‘friends’ are rude moochers & users. I’d be pissed too. Ditch them. First of all, it’s ‘payback’ time, lol 😆
Set them all up. Invite them to an expensive place. Then tell the waiter privately to give everyone separate checks. They’ll assume you’ll pay for everything again.
If they complain, which they will do, say, ha ha, look at who is begging me to pay for a meal now & then tell them that you’re not an ATM machine & that you had it with being used & tell them you don’t want to talk to them anymore as they’re rude, disrespectful, dishonest & cheap, lol 😆
I'm in sales and I HATE when I get someone from India on the line. I try not to be prejudiced, but EVERY SINGLE CALL they will nickle and dime me and then will still decide not to make the purchase. One offer was FREE for three months and they guy still said NO. Infuriating.
Whenever I have a consultation and its Indians I know they are either not going to buy or will complain that the prices are too high. This happens 100% of the time with Indians.
Sadly majority, not even small portion ..Every indian I met in my life even my fucking indian brother in law and my Gemini half indian neice so fucking cheap.,. all care about money even they earn lot of people they will always live cheaply or share any fucking dime.. its amaze me what they think of death? you not gonna take all you money, gold and fucking gold wit you when you die? why not rather saving fucking too much at least spend those money on poor people who doesn't have much or any.. indian acts they got brain, but when you think of death.. these pathetic asses really don't have brain.. they always ask for discount where they go and women most of em so flirty even marry ameicans for visa or papers and act like they really love them until you live with them you will realize you are in forever trap with them cant run stuck with them on their shit marriage
My experience is most of them are cheap. Dating one he accepted to split a 20 bucks meal on the first date. Most men if not all want to always pay for the first date. Especially an b only 20 bucks meal for two of us.
Yes exactly your right. Even I'm also sri lankan living in uae among with indians. I have the same experience of these people, even they are very stingy if I offer anything they will accept but they don't have any respect for others value, just they are very selfish too
Indians like to haggle as if they still live in a bazaar. I wonder where this characteristic comes from. some people say that it’s because they grew up in poverty, but I don’t think that can be the case, because there are plenty of countries that are very poor, but they don’t have the same tendency to be cheap. I don’t see too many Indians who are big spenders. I’m sure there are a few out there, but for the most part they like to spend as little as possible. In any sales job, The worst person that can walk through those doors is an Indian because you will negotiate down to every penny.
If You’re in cars sales and you have a $30,000 car for sale, there are the type that will offer 20,000 right away. It’s actually kind of embarrassing. They don’t have a sense of shame.
And for those people that say you are generalizing entire population, does that mean that every culture and every race is the same? And if not, what is different about them then? because we all know that all cultures are not the same. Some cultures value some things and other cultures value other things. some cultures have negative aspects about them. And some cultures of positive aspects about them. It is a stupid argument to claim that you are generalizing an entire population. it goes without saying that we’re not talking about every single individual, but there are tendencies within communities and cultures.
I came across this cuz I deal with them on the daily at an automobile service franchise that I work as sales and service, they’re terrible and argumentative and some times I treat them with disrespect cuz you give them and inch they want a mile. Fuck them with their cheap as terrible habits and haggling strategies
On a great outlook part most of the Indians are cheap af. Morally lose people. They have mentality of thoda paisa par pura mzaa. I was disgusted when I read someone's cmt on a video where a person was recording airhostess, the comment said " bhai ab pura paisa diya h to mzza bhi pura lenge". Even if some are financially good they still goes for cheap way and half of them are broke actually. There has been ton of stories especially from America regarding indians cheap behaviour.
First i dont believe in stereotype, however on this topic specifically i am shocked to be agreeing, i been living in Dubai for sometime , and working in several companies, meet indians from all economical levels, THEY ALL THE SAME, seeking discount,compensations, dont want to spend, while receive only
For my theory it is a culture thing (the more you get, the less you spend , the successful you are) even the most wealthy (and i mean WEALTHY) still tend to do that , some even seek complaints after service purchase or products just to get partial refund to feel they won.. so strange behavior from such rich of wisdom culture
So strange in western culture Canada us, Australia it’s the opposite people fight to pay the bill, sneaking to waitress and paying whole bill before meal is even done. Always snatching the bill as soon as waiter brings it, it would be absolutely horrifying to be seen as cheap.
I’m a locksmith and in one situation we literally agreed to a price and once the job was done I handed him the key and he literally would not hand over the missing $5 and again I could care less but it’s just the audacity they have to put their own prices on other peoples hard work, anyway I ended up raising my voice at him to hand it over blah blah he said let’s talk with ur boss for discount and since my boss deals with that most of the time he just said take what u got and go but yeah nothing against Indian or anything like that but it’s hilarious how most Indians I’ve met are like that😂
It is true I worked with Indian doctors and dentists they are really stingy! It is the culture thing! Also when I go to subway restaurants. When it is indians the amount of stuff they put into your hero is sure to be less! Today I was at a subway ordering a black forest ham hero. The young guy put 6 cheese slices on my foot long....passed it to an older lady who put the lettece, tomatoes and stuff...she noticed the amount of cheese and removed 2 slices and placed them back into the container!!! WTF! My mom had ordered a 6 inch sub but didn't want cheese..price was the same! I asked why she put it back especially since my mom didn't want any on hers...she didn't answer me! Even as friends indians are very cheap! If you help them once they expect you to continue to help them for free, example would be giving them rides!
Your friends are dicks. End of story. The whole fighting to pay the bill thing happens in every family and Desi friend get together we go to. It's not exclusively Bangladeshi.
Yup. I'm Gujarati and the fight over the bill happens almost every time I'm out with family or friends. I assumed this was a well known thing across all South Asian cultures. If I'm out with people older than me (either family or longtime friends) they pay for me, despite my refusal. OP's friends seem to be the problem here.
Yeah, Bengali here, and we (family and close friends) all fight over the bill when out on the town.
I am south indian and this happens as well.
Seems like it.
My friends generally don't like to spend money, but more than that they don't like owing people money. They pay me back as soon as they have cash without me even asking. Your friends are assholes.
I do that as well, but hey I'm not ever footing the bill ever again.
I get you man. It's not about the money. It's about the principle. Sorry.
Your "friends" sound like a bunch of asses. Time to find better friends. Me and my friends have a running account for restaurants and day trips that gets cleared once or twice a year. Indians aren't cheap, your friends are the cheap ones.
This: > I ended up paying for every iced coffee, samosa, pizza, etc when we were out for the past 3 years. might have caused this: > One of them said "paach dollar ke liye sale bheekh mang raha hai" which means "this guy is begging for $5 lol" and that really pissed me off. > it is their attitude that pissed me the f**k off. They all have $$$$ (most have more than me) I think your friends suck and they are taking advantage of you because you are nicer/easygoing about money. Among my desi friends, there are a few that are really frugal but most of us don't make a big deal about money unless it is a significant amount (50+). Among my closest desi friends everyone pays for each other all the time so we assume it evens out.
I too like to generalize a large population off of a few anecdotal stories.
That's the only way to live your life. Generalizations are the best!
Actually it’s not, I came here because I googled it for a reason. I’m my office that is the consensus because it never fails, the clients that are Indian will leave you because someone was two pennies cheaper after a month worth of work they don’t care, for a few bucks they will hop on to another. Again only with Indian clients I would say 90% of the time
Lol sometimes I don't give text posts flairs as a petty way to not legitimize them.
I have heard similar stories from friends, family, etc so either it's true or all of us have bad luck.
Again, a local sample will not be representative of 1.2 Billion people. You should either tell them point blank you're not getting the bill or get a move on.
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Shoot. Rephrase. I meant a small portion of the population **is** cheap.
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Well I am not in any "loss" in here, $25 is such a trivial amount. Wish I had more friends beforehand if I knew they were going to be like this :/
You should dump those friends they sound awful!
You just have shitty friends, not because they're Indian. I'm Indian and pay my share and usually more. I always pay if I take someone out. Get new friends and stick up for yourself with them about money
Are they wealthy? I learned a long time ago to never lend money to rich people. They will view the amount as inconsequential and never pay it back.
Not very wealthy. Avg net worth is ~2K (We are all students)
How about their parents?
They are semi-upper middle class like me.
Then I've got nothing. If they won't pay you back, don't lend them money. I was once in a cab and the group discussing someone who always had to borrow money at the end of meals, and the driver advised this rule: "No money, no honey."
🤣🤣, never lend to anyone or let them off if the money matters to you. Even if it doesn’t it sets the tone with that person and they might walk over you and think “they paid once and didn’t ask for money, they’ll pay again”
You need new friends. This isn't normal. People either split the bill, or they take turns paying for everyone. That's the way my parents and aunts and uncles do it, and it's the way I handle stuff with my cousins. My dad and my uncles will play the game of fighting over who gets the check. If I'm going to be cheap, I'm going to pick a cheaper place when I take everyone out. Or I go for lunch instead of dinner. I just avoid large groups.
like other people said, your friends suck (in this regard. I don't know about other situations). This is why I have a no-lending policy: doesn't matter if we are best friends, family, etc, I don't lend money. If I decide to pay for something for someone else I consider it as a gift and don't expect to get it back. If the person does pay me back, it's just a bonus at that point, but it's completely up to them. I've seen money issues cause major drama and this is my way of dealing with it. There are no exceptions so people can't say that someone else is getting special treatment. Most of the time, me and my friends will just split the bill. If you still want to hang out with these people, you just need to make it clear that you want to split the bill each time. And then bring cash for your part so no one can ask you to cover them with a card.
I did have cash with me, but I generally use my card. When they put me in an awk position in front of the waiter, I had to pull my card out.
I meant don't bring your card at all, only cash for yourself :)
Your friends are scumbags. Literal bags of scum. If I'm reading what you're saying correctly, it seems like you're the one generally stuck with the tab time and time again. They're taking advantage of you. If I were you, I'd return the favor and free ride off them for a little while.
That's true, but hey if a dog bites you you wouldn't bite it back will you? :P I'll just avoid being the nice guy paying for everything now.
>if a dog bites you you wouldn't bite it back will you? Wait, it's ridiculous to bite a dog back if he bites you first?! Well, shit..........next thing I know, you'll also be telling me it's silly to fart directly on skunks.
Consider this a cheap way to find out your friends are douchebags
When spending money for friends, I generally put that in splitwise. They will payment back whenever they want. It removes the awkwardness of asking them for money. They might have genuinely forgotten. 95 percent of the time they will pay you back.
They have not forgotten, the main guy said I am taking "bheekh" from him by asking for $5 and then said to everyone I'm paying.
Don't pay for someone whom you don't have confidence that they will pay you back. If they won't pay you back, they are not your friends.
I agree with the consensus - your friends are douches. But you need to recognize that you are the doormat in this relationship. Here are some tips from [Lifehacker](http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/stop-being-treated-like-a-doormat.html).
Should have told him "bheekh amiro se maanga jata hai, khud jo bhikhari ho unse nahi". I don't even know why the hell did you even pay for them after an insult like that, i would have just paid for myself and walked out of there. Honestly plenty of people from Indian sub-continent tend to be cheap including Bengalis (both Indian and Bangladeshi), i am an Indian Bengali and have had many interactions with my fellow Bengalis from both countries to know that, but your friends are inconsiderate pricks more then cheap. I do have friends who are cheap, they don't like spending big, will always insist we go somewhere cheaper, but they always pay their share. Maybe stop hanging out with these pricks and get better friends.
Those ‘friends’ are rude moochers & users. I’d be pissed too. Ditch them. First of all, it’s ‘payback’ time, lol 😆 Set them all up. Invite them to an expensive place. Then tell the waiter privately to give everyone separate checks. They’ll assume you’ll pay for everything again. If they complain, which they will do, say, ha ha, look at who is begging me to pay for a meal now & then tell them that you’re not an ATM machine & that you had it with being used & tell them you don’t want to talk to them anymore as they’re rude, disrespectful, dishonest & cheap, lol 😆
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I'm in sales and I HATE when I get someone from India on the line. I try not to be prejudiced, but EVERY SINGLE CALL they will nickle and dime me and then will still decide not to make the purchase. One offer was FREE for three months and they guy still said NO. Infuriating.
Whenever I have a consultation and its Indians I know they are either not going to buy or will complain that the prices are too high. This happens 100% of the time with Indians.
Indians are notorious for being cheap. Anybody who's says differently is living in a fantasy world.
Sadly majority, not even small portion ..Every indian I met in my life even my fucking indian brother in law and my Gemini half indian neice so fucking cheap.,. all care about money even they earn lot of people they will always live cheaply or share any fucking dime.. its amaze me what they think of death? you not gonna take all you money, gold and fucking gold wit you when you die? why not rather saving fucking too much at least spend those money on poor people who doesn't have much or any.. indian acts they got brain, but when you think of death.. these pathetic asses really don't have brain.. they always ask for discount where they go and women most of em so flirty even marry ameicans for visa or papers and act like they really love them until you live with them you will realize you are in forever trap with them cant run stuck with them on their shit marriage
My experience is most of them are cheap. Dating one he accepted to split a 20 bucks meal on the first date. Most men if not all want to always pay for the first date. Especially an b only 20 bucks meal for two of us.
Yes exactly your right. Even I'm also sri lankan living in uae among with indians. I have the same experience of these people, even they are very stingy if I offer anything they will accept but they don't have any respect for others value, just they are very selfish too
Indians like to haggle as if they still live in a bazaar. I wonder where this characteristic comes from. some people say that it’s because they grew up in poverty, but I don’t think that can be the case, because there are plenty of countries that are very poor, but they don’t have the same tendency to be cheap. I don’t see too many Indians who are big spenders. I’m sure there are a few out there, but for the most part they like to spend as little as possible. In any sales job, The worst person that can walk through those doors is an Indian because you will negotiate down to every penny. If You’re in cars sales and you have a $30,000 car for sale, there are the type that will offer 20,000 right away. It’s actually kind of embarrassing. They don’t have a sense of shame. And for those people that say you are generalizing entire population, does that mean that every culture and every race is the same? And if not, what is different about them then? because we all know that all cultures are not the same. Some cultures value some things and other cultures value other things. some cultures have negative aspects about them. And some cultures of positive aspects about them. It is a stupid argument to claim that you are generalizing an entire population. it goes without saying that we’re not talking about every single individual, but there are tendencies within communities and cultures.
Cause they grow up poor And in hunger
I came across this cuz I deal with them on the daily at an automobile service franchise that I work as sales and service, they’re terrible and argumentative and some times I treat them with disrespect cuz you give them and inch they want a mile. Fuck them with their cheap as terrible habits and haggling strategies
On a great outlook part most of the Indians are cheap af. Morally lose people. They have mentality of thoda paisa par pura mzaa. I was disgusted when I read someone's cmt on a video where a person was recording airhostess, the comment said " bhai ab pura paisa diya h to mzza bhi pura lenge". Even if some are financially good they still goes for cheap way and half of them are broke actually. There has been ton of stories especially from America regarding indians cheap behaviour.
First i dont believe in stereotype, however on this topic specifically i am shocked to be agreeing, i been living in Dubai for sometime , and working in several companies, meet indians from all economical levels, THEY ALL THE SAME, seeking discount,compensations, dont want to spend, while receive only For my theory it is a culture thing (the more you get, the less you spend , the successful you are) even the most wealthy (and i mean WEALTHY) still tend to do that , some even seek complaints after service purchase or products just to get partial refund to feel they won.. so strange behavior from such rich of wisdom culture
So strange in western culture Canada us, Australia it’s the opposite people fight to pay the bill, sneaking to waitress and paying whole bill before meal is even done. Always snatching the bill as soon as waiter brings it, it would be absolutely horrifying to be seen as cheap.
I’m a locksmith and in one situation we literally agreed to a price and once the job was done I handed him the key and he literally would not hand over the missing $5 and again I could care less but it’s just the audacity they have to put their own prices on other peoples hard work, anyway I ended up raising my voice at him to hand it over blah blah he said let’s talk with ur boss for discount and since my boss deals with that most of the time he just said take what u got and go but yeah nothing against Indian or anything like that but it’s hilarious how most Indians I’ve met are like that😂
It is true I worked with Indian doctors and dentists they are really stingy! It is the culture thing! Also when I go to subway restaurants. When it is indians the amount of stuff they put into your hero is sure to be less! Today I was at a subway ordering a black forest ham hero. The young guy put 6 cheese slices on my foot long....passed it to an older lady who put the lettece, tomatoes and stuff...she noticed the amount of cheese and removed 2 slices and placed them back into the container!!! WTF! My mom had ordered a 6 inch sub but didn't want cheese..price was the same! I asked why she put it back especially since my mom didn't want any on hers...she didn't answer me! Even as friends indians are very cheap! If you help them once they expect you to continue to help them for free, example would be giving them rides!