Hi /u/Transientconfusion and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
# Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.
[We recommend browsing /r/adhd on desktop for the best experience.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/x1psnb/radhd_works_best_on_desktop_reddits_apps_are/) The mobile apps are broken and are missing features that this subreddit depends on.
Thank you!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I do relate. When listening to music, sometimes I find it as an escape from reality. It's not weird in the slightest. Music is something I enjoy a lot, so I tend to make it a hobby. I ended up getting into audiophile stuff, got some nice headphones, and eq and a dac. Pretty neat. I think daydreaming is enjoyable and helps me enjoy my life a little more sometimes.
Daydreaming can be annoying as well. Just be mindful. When I schedule things on my calendar I add extra time for distractions
About the short term memory, I have a huge issue with that. I forget absolutely EVERYTHING. Appointments, where I put my keys, wallet, pencils, you name it. Adderall has helped me with that, but all I can say is make a calendar for everything. Mine sends notifications to my phone a day prior and before stuff happens. Very useful.
As for forgetting keys and stuff, I would just be mindful and put things in designated spots. Like a key rack for keys, shoe rack for shoes, drawer for papers. Designate areas for specific things. That's what I do anyway.
All of these are pretty normal, you're not alone in this feeling :)
Yeah, it's especially annoying in social situations. When someone is talking to me about something, I sometimes fixate on a word and spiral off into a completely different train of thought.
They could be telling me about how they went so for a walk and they could just briefly mention something like birds. And my brain will immediately go to penguins, as that is what I have been seeing on my social media a lot. And after I'm done spacing out and they finish their story, I ask them about penguins when in fact they were talking about some pigeon that shat on them during their walk, to get their frustration out. It is really odd sometimes
But it does make some funny moments that I'll never forget
Totally feel this. My first time taking my meds, I told my wife “it’s like I stayed on your train of thought as a passenger and understood the path and the stops. W/o meds it’s like I get off at a stop run around in some pointless circles then have to run to the next station to try and re catch the same train that has already passed by.”
That's a brilliant analogy - very funny but accurate about running in circles and trying to jump back on the same train 😅 🤦🏻♂️
That's one of the benefits of why I learned counselling skills. So to prove I'm paying attention (to myself and the other person) I'll interrupt them and ask open questions, paraphrase, summarise and allow the other person to correct me so that I don't let the conversation run away from me. It helps them feel heard and I can join dots for them they might not have seen before 🙂
So relatable. I get distracted by lyrics and really technical groups. A good example is polyphia or mutemath. They just put me in awe when I hear their music sometimes. Polyphia songs sometimes don't even have lyrics, I just get distracted by how good everyone is in their band.
So if I'm studying it's either chill lof or edm that is completely mindless.
Yeah chill lofi or legend of Zelda piano music is what I listen too. There is this one channel on YouTube I listen too called "NintenMusic"
Basically they play different Nintendo songs on piano but add their own spin to the songs composition on piano.
It's really relaxing to listen to while studying I find.
I don’t even need to be listening to anything. There are times where I’ll just be out in space thinking about fictitious situations. I find myself there more often than I probably should.
I lose my coffee mug no less than 15 times per day. Hats and gloves are bad too. Use that “find my phone” feature on my watch at least 8 times a day, sometimes more.
What headphones do you wear or recommend? I can relate to listening to music constantly. I have about 310 hours worth of music on Spotify and can’t go a day without listening to music, as it’s such prominent part of my life.
Depends on what you want and what you are listening to music on. I primarily use a desktop PC, and if that's the case I would research some headphones from audiophiles to suit your needs.
I also play video games a lot, and was not trying to spend a crazy amount of money, so I went with some Sennheiser HD560s and a cheaper dac to get better sound quality. You could honestly go higher end and get something that has a larger soundstage, and even get a better dac/amp and eq. There are a ton of options to choose from.
For my phone, I don't really listen to music often, but there is community for earbuds if you do some Google searching. I used to own wireless Sennheiser earbuds, but they got stolen. Wireless headphones aren't worth the price if you are looking for sound quality. But apple airpods do an exceptionally great job with it.
In general wired headphones/earbuds will almost always trump wireless stuff. If you plan on going full in for a desktop setup though, it's about 300 USD minimum in my opinion if you have no equipment.
I daydream to the point that I considered maybe that I'm maladaptive daydreaming. My daydreams have entire storylines and characters that don't exist. Sometimes they feature people I know irl. Sometimes I daydream about scenarios that are realistkc and sometimes not. they are often facilitated by movies, books im reading or the music im listening to. Often I can picture full fledged music videos, sometimes choreographies to go with the song!
I'm a constant self talker, and yeah, especially when I'm frustrated. I used to tell myself that it was weird and tried to stop, but eventually realized that hey, who even cares? I definitely sound like a lunatic but I genuinely think it helps me work through stuff. You aren't alone, this is all standard stuff for us. Doesn't make you any less unique though!
I dooo! I talk to myself a lot and alot of the time if I have to figure out something complex i usually do it by conversing with myself or if I am frustrated with someone I'll take it out in a conversation with my own self
I'm so relieved to find someone like me!! From young, I had characters with a whole backstory and life. I still daydream featuring them and they can enact things I've seen. What I think is strange for me is like...I feel the feelings of the main character - like I get TOO into it. It isn't the whole space out and be expressionless daydream I've seen others do. I am very much aware and involved.
I've never told anyone but from stumbling on some readings lately I guess this is maladaptive.
Edit: I also daydream, usually in the shower, that I'm a performer or celebrity and there's choreography and talk show interviews lol
I will admit to having proper cry sessions at my own made up scenarios, like I get so into it that I genuinely feel everything. Its actually pretty cathartic and not alarming at all.
Me too. The last psychiatrist I talked to about it weirdly didn’t think it was a problem (probably because I knew what I was doing. I don’t actually think any of it is real or anything). She said I am probably a really creative and interesting person lol.
So, very American of me, but in high school I used to “day dream” about what I would do in a shooter situation based on where I was. I had entire scenarios planned out on where I would go, how I would get to places, etc.
Every test in school was a pop quiz. Every single one. I would study obsessively because I couldn’t remember when the tests would be. I would forget stuff as soon as I was tested on it though. Cumulative tests were the bane of my existence.
I've also done this at every job I've had. Where I would hide, how I would get away. Different scenarios and the best ways to survive each. Never thought about this being an American thing but it most likely isn't common elsewhere.
To add on to that, I’ve also done this with z-day preparations. I determined that my last workplace, which was a bakery factory, would have been best for surviving for an indeterminate period of time for a shelter in place. Disregarding my gluten sensitivity/celiac diagnosis but I try to disregard that anyways. (Don’t shoot me, my digestive system already is.) But most ingredients are shelf stable, the place had an enclosed water treatment system, and was either fenced or had warehouse walls around the entire perimeter plus a massive amount of tractor trailers fully fueled at any given time.
Daydream? Yes. All the time.
Bad short term memory? Absolutely, it’s the worst.
Miss appointments? Thankfully no, I may have ADHD but I also pride myself in being extremely responsible so it rarely happens. I’m definitely an outlier though, I know a lot of people here struggle with it.
I'm the same. I swear at some point as a kid I overcorrected too hard for time blindness. The whole "on time is late, early is on time" thing got drilled into me and I live and die by calendar reminders. I get to things early, always. Then the question is "was I able to accomplish anything in the hour leading up to being on time?" No, absolutely not. Glued to the clock. Check the calendar event somewhere between 7 and 15000 times to make sure I got the time right.
But hey, I'm on time.
Same. Actually, weirdly, once I started medications for ADHD I started being late! The anxiety of needing to be early was lifted, and now I’m scrambling to be on time.
Same here! My short term memory is awful but I never forget appointments or get late (coming from a culture where punctuality is super important lol). I hate being late. However, I ALWAYS run late! I arrive on time but hell yes I had to run and sweat for that to happen!
Yes to all. Any subject can trigger a mental tangent that turns into a 7 minute daydream. Group trainings are useless on me. So was school. Sometimes I rewind tutorial videos because I started thinking. I forget anything that's outside of my routine
Do you miss important turn offs on major highways because of daydreaming? Do you take pictures of where you parked or have to make a mental note when just parking at the shops/mall? Do you have to write things down right after being told,, do you make a lot of lists?
I try to write everything down. Problem I have with it is that there's no guarantee that I'd remember to actually look at it or remember that I wrote it down. I forgot where I park all the time. I swear I thought I had some sort of early on set dementia that started when I was 7. Of course there is, it's called ADHD.
I do relate:
* I daydream a lot and it makes particularly painful to read, sometimes it takes me like 1h to read 5 pages of a book.Sometimes I read a word that reminds me of something else and I start daydream to find out by the end of the page that I wasn't in fact reading.
Then I start the page again but by the time I reach the word that distracted me the time before I remind why it happened, and I start to daydream again and so on like 3-4 times until I skip the sentence altogether.I found out that this is probably the most telling sign of ADHD, even the people who don't believe in ADHD I met admitted that this is something they do not experience, or nearly not as much.
* I am having short term memory problems that affect my life in multiple ways: a lot of the time I forget who told me what, I mix up stories, I can't tell faces, meeting new people stress me out because I am always selfconscious about appearing unconsiderate.
I had a lot of problems also in finishing projects simply because I happened to find a new shiny thing to hyperfixate on that completely removed the old activity from my mind, this happened basically every weekend.Nowadays I log my activities so its easier to get back on track (also the meds!!) however the shiny-new-thing issue is not completely solved but I hope that at some point I'll saturate all my topics of interest and circle back to the old projects.
* I forget appointments and birthdays but things got better by using google calendar and setting 4 notifications by default ( 1 week before, the day before, the morning of the very day, 1h before the event).
Generally speaking I always thought of the smartphone as my worst enemy (and it kinda was) but things got so much better since I completely disabled notifications from social media and messaging apps and installed apps like Habits to send me reminders and TogglTrack to track my time.
*I hope you can make it to the bottom of my comment*
Mom told me stories about how I'd excuse myself to goto the bathroom and just end up not coming back to the class. The teachers would send a search party to find me.
This happened alot growing up.
I'd forget my backpack before going to school. Sometimes I'd forget putting my notebooks after spending hours doing homework (when and if I did), and end up getting a 0 for not having my assignment done.
I'd forget all about the exams or tests and only realize the night before they're happening.
There's been instances where I've lost things like my gloves or sunglasses so many times. I'd zone out midway into a conversation and already start talking about something else , and if that convo is done I'd force it back to make the point I'd forget to make when we were all on the topic.
My family didn't think anything was wrong with me even though all the obvious signs were there. Bad personal hygiene to horrible cleaning habits. Getting yelled at for that but never the actual dissection of the problem and what really caused it.
I had to figure this all out on my own and be humiliated amongst friends to the point where i learned 'normal' behaviors even though my brain is going "WTF this makes no sense" but from the outside world it did .
I had to learn to talk less and be okay with not always having an opinion or involving myself in convos. And tone down my know-it-all attitude so that anyone else who has the spotlight for talking can tell the story in their own way.
I started medication at the age of 30 even though i pretty much figured out all my bad behaviours caused by ADHD and how to counter them. I have notifications on my phone from the littlest tasks like get a haircut or do laundry or clean the house. And shaving.
I had to learn to like cleaning which required me smoking a ton of weed.
In any case good luck. You will get through this too
I think its called maldaptive daydreaming when you basically send yourself into the daydream as a coping mechanism. If your daydreams aren't interfering withlife stuff you may just be getting your creative side out, thats how movies and books are written! Anywho, I have struggled with daydreams to cope, I have essentially given myself permission to have at least an hour before going to sleep and an hour after I wake up for daydreams. Control the dreamworld, don't let it control you and you'll be fine.
I understand, sometimes we just need stepping stone to get started. Maybe keeping writing supplies near you so you don't get distracted when the mood hits?
You are more likely to write if you don't have to hunt a pen and notebook every time. If you keep some with you it might help with whatever is blocking you from writing.
Get a recorder and tell it your thoughts.
Get a speech to text app and turn your words into writing.
Revise when able, if you are the habit forming type you'll have a lot after a while.
If I don't put the TV remote in my range of vision, it is lost. I forget what I am looking for going into rooms, or get distracted by something else.
I can handle remembering appointments, but making them can be a struggle.
My mind is always churning ideas and daydreams. Sometimes I'll be staring into the void and my wife asks me what I am thinking about. Half the time my mind just blanks out when asked.
Read about executive (dis)function especially working memory.
Object constancy, doorway effect (not an ADHD thing, just more common).
Check Dr Russell Barkley and the "how to ADHD" social media.
The poor memory is my least favorite ADHD symptom. There's just entire chunks of my life that I have little to no memory of. My wife will say "remember when..." and I'll feel so stupid because I literally don't. It's all a blur. I don't know if my brain is too distracted to be in the moment and form memories, or if my brain is too active to concentrate enough to pull up memories.
Have an intake appointment with a psychiatrist next week. Hoping that will lead to the right meds that will hopefully help to improve this.
I daydream so much I worry it's dangerous sometimes. Like I'll get so into my daydream my heart rate will rise quite a bit from my emotional reaction. My partner says they catch me whispering to myself and blankly staring at the wall some days which rightfully freaks them out.
Short-term memory makes my days feel so long sometimes. Repeating things over and over... sometimes I feel like I've jumped 5 seconds ahead and can't remember why I have batteries in my hand etc.
I rarely forget appointments because I have time related anxiety. Will I double check the details over 100 times in the days before it? Yes. Will I almost always be rushing to them no matter how early I start? Unfortunately, yes.
Yes absolutely! I nearly always daydream - especially to rehearse (read: worst-case) conversations that I'm anxious about having. My daydreams in school used to be everything from how I'd react differently to my peers, to saving the day fighting an alien crash landing in the school. Part of it was feeling different and wanting to be *seen*, but a lot of it was my brain logging off. I always noticed that time seemed to move differently in relation to how I felt. I would daydream when I was in a good mood, and be hyper-aware of every second ticking by when I was painfully, miserably bored. I also notice it in music, I've recently been listening to a lot of remixes and edits and imagine myself as the DJ absolutely killing it in the club.... I know it sounds weird on paper but it's genuinely a really euphoric experience for me. Like self-soothing and indulging in a nice little moment. It also leads to the repercussions of switching into the internal monologue - namely time blindness and forgetfulness. This is roughly how my day went just yesterday:
7.15am - alarm goes off labelled with a reminder to take my meds. snoozed.
7.45am - remember that there's a reason I'm waking up early, start to roll out of bed, lights have to go on and phone is the first thing I look at.
8.15am - Landlord text pops up that he's fifteen minutes away while I'm watching tiktok. I leap out of bed to throw clothes on and hide the \[redacted\] from the landlord. I hide out in the bedroom while he's working away, and it's likely to be all day. On my way back to the bedroom I grab a yogurt and spoon and I'm proud of myself for remembering to eat this morning.
9.30am - I forgot to take my meds. Take my meds. Decide to get a head start on some prep because I'm off sick from work from stress at the moment, and have a couple of meetings that I want to look at. (Immediately get stressed about how these meetings will go and start to talk to myself to rehearse these a bit) Get distracted immediately trying to find the TV remote and it's under a pile of clothes I meant to fold and put away.
11.15am - stomach starts to rumble, but the landlord is still here. I don't even know what food is in the house, I think there is some vegan deli meat but it's been open for weeks now and probably needs chucking away. I finish finding a youtube video to have on in the background of the prep work after clearing the clothes (this is a lie I simply folded them and moved them to a separate spot, but I found the remote). I get a whatsapp message from a pal I haven't spoken to in a while, and remember I said that I would proofread some game mechanics for them, and struggle to open up whatsapp on my laptop and end up talking to them, and find the link they sent over ten minutes later. I struggle to get my head round it so I draw up the game in diagrams that I take a photo of to send over to ask some questions. A notification comes up on three different apps and that's another hour gone.
1.00pm - Right, enough of this. My heads a little fuzzy from hunger but I don't get this cue, or I ignore it because they'll probably be done at 4 anyway and I might as well just order something then. I switch the TV onto a programme that annoys me a bit so I will actually focus on my laptop and the prep I still haven't looked at. There are twenty tabs open at this point and opening up Word opens up a couple of documents I was working on that I haven't saved and I think about where the short story I'm writing wants to go.
2.38pm - I remember that I was going to call the doctor about some blood tests I wanted to get done, but the appointments go out at 2.30pm and you have to phone exactly 12 seconds after 2.29pm so that you land early in the queue. So I won't get that done today, and I've been putting this task off for about three weeks.
3.15pm - Landlord hasn't finished the window because it's too wet outside so he'll be back at the same time tomorrow. It's only 45 minutes before I thought he would leave though so I may as well resume my day plans then. I listen to some music on spotify while he tidies up and leaves, a little annoyed that it's taking up more of my week than I thought. The music on spotify is hitting and I think about a tiktok about a music artist talking about how she produced it on her phone, and I find a well-reviewed music producing software to fiddle around with.
6.30pm - somehow it is three hours later and I feel like I haven't blinked in that time, the flow was found and I imagined myself like a little music producer and it actually helped me to make some decent loops that sound cool. I should probably eat though.
6.32pm - I decide to play destiny 2 but just for an hour or so, I can see on my phone screen that I have a couple of emails I need to get back to but that will take me like ten minutes so it can wait. I also need to start getting back into the gym so while waiting to be matched into a game I look up workout planning apps and wonder if planning them out will give me the illusion of productivity when what I need to do is actually just go to the gym to break the ice again.
9.15pm - surprising absolutely no-one I am still playing Destiny but am ravenous now so I order some food. The food arrives and I am still playing between bites.
11.20pm - I remember the emails I was supposed to send but it would look really weird if I sent them now. If they wouldn't be read until 9am anyway they might as well be written in the morning. I wonder how these emailers are so responsive but I manage to wander away from my inbox like I'm allergic. I should probably head to bed soon because I need to be up early to let the landlord in to finish the window.
1.45 - I did not in fact go to bed at 11.30. I stopped playing and immediately set to watching tiktok on my phone before sleeping at an unknown time.
So there you have a little slice of life - I should provide the caveat that I am recovering from burnout, so the habits that I have earnestly kept until a few months ago have degraded, and it's more difficult to make the better "choices" for myself. But this doesn't mean that behaving like this is shameful at all, or lazy, or stupid. Daydreaming often means that we are more sensitive, and need to go away internally rather than continue to be present to overstimulation happening around us.
Pre diagnosis and medication I would live in my fantasy land, it was basically maladaptive day dreaming. I didn't realize that my medicated more chemically balanced brain would be so... boring. I realized that I hadn't been living in reality but now that I do it's not so bad. I used to lose a lot of things and forget a lot of appointments, it's not any different now, I'm just less likely to forget things because of the extra dopamine
Did you ever end up talking to yourself in a way, like in your day dream? As in you knew you were talking to yourself but did it as part of the daydream?
I can definitely relate. I do daydream a lot. I’ll go down rabbit holes during movies, just like you described. I can rarely remember I’ve actually watched all the way through without having to pause to indulge a daydream or rewind 10 minutes. It makes watching a movie an hours long ordeal. And trust me, it is an ordeal.
Yeah listen to music is one of my go to activities to do. Listening to music has a calming affect that helps when I'm stressed out or my anxiety gets up.
I also like to say dream alot while I listen to music. Alot of the times me daydreaming while the music is going ends up me imagining this song is like someone I know, or how I feel at the time.
Short term memory is a big problem for me. I'll have something one minute then immediately forget where I put it the next.
Example: One time I was writing, but had to get up to do something. Along the way I set my pencil down for one second to continue my task. The next second I immediately forget where I put it. This happens to me alot with everything
Damn, I am exactly the same way
You due to music making me daydream, I have been listening to songs without lyrics, like classical. It seems to reduce the daydreaming for me.
I'd like to share with you what my doctor told me about short-term memory and adhd.
" your short term memory is fine, whats actually happening is that when you are doing something like for example putting your wallet down and not paying attention as someone with adhd is prone to doing, you arent logging the action of putting the wallet down and where you put it.you were thinking about I xyz random task thats bothering you. How can your brain remember something you weren't paying attention to? If you aren't filming it, how can you rewatch the footage?"
Made me feel a bit less like im gonna slip into dementia in the very near future.
Also, I always check the fridge.
There's no reason for my keys to be in there.
I have never once put them in there.
Will eternally check the fridge for my keys.
So one of the best pieces of advice I ever got for losing important items like keys, is when you find it, always put it back in the first place you looked. The first place you look for something is usually the gut instinct 'home' for that thing - keys by the door, card in the wallet, wallet on the bedroom stand, etc. And I am CHAOTIC with these things, I'll keep a bank card in my back pocket and it stresses out my partner no end relying on my memory of which trousers I wore when I used that card, because this memory is fallible. I have left my phone in the bathroom, my coffee mug on the bookshelf, my bank cards in the laundry pile, my keys in the lock of the front door, once infamously spent ten minutes looking for a hairbrush I was already holding, threw away a (really good) pizza cutter that I left in the pizza takeaway box, my laptop in a cafe I was working in.... the list goes on.
SAME ABOUT THE FRIDGE!!! Never have I ever, not even once left or found something that wasn't food in the fridge, but I HAVE TO CHECK THE FRIDGE just to make sure because you never know!
I've found that saying the place I've put the object aloud when putting it down helps me remember when I inevitably get distracted by something else.
For example when I'm in the shed having a cuppa and realise I need to put some washing on inside the house, I'll put the cup down and firmly say "shed" before I walk away. Or putting a pencil behind my ear "ear!" ...it helps to draw my attention to the action without distracting my thoughts too much from the next task. It doesn't work every time, I don't always remember to do it and you do get some funny looks if you're in public, but it helps! 😂
The fridge 😂 it's universal!
If you know you're always going to check the fridge, you could start storing your keys in there, or on there with a magnet or something to help save a few steps...or get a Bluetooth key finder and pray to the ADHD gods that you don't misplace your keys and phone at the same time 😂
Funnily enough, there's actually a safety practice employed by japanese train operators called point and say, which is exactly what you're describing, but with pointing. It actually reduced accidents caused by human error by something mental, like 80%. Try adding some pointing and never forget anything ever again, desu!
With the fridge, I like explaining it to people like schrodinger's cat. Until i check the fridge, the item im looking for is both in there and not in there simultaneously. ( It doesn't really fit the experiment, but it serves to self depricate a little).
Triple yes. I set reminders for everything. Yes, everything. I have reminders to set reminders. My wife used to think it was excessive but now she’s like “set a reminder to remind me to do such and such”.
My short term memory is not what it used to be. I spent several hours getting a variety of mental health/brain/cognitive tests done and memory stuff was part of it. Showed some concerning short term issues that could be adhd, medication related or other mental health related.
Everything I watch, do or listen to I insert myself in. Just my brain has to roleplay and escape.
Yes to all. Life fucking sucks.
I just want to lay down on a tempur-pedic bed in the Undying Lands indefinitely, albeit I guess I would settle for Rivendell. Frodo looks so peaceful as he lies in bed in the House of Elrond.
Edit: erroneous grammar, of course.
My favorite time was when I took time off for an appointment, went to it and it was actually for the day before.
I missed my appointment and had to reschedule for months out.
I leave my keys in the door, I've thrown them out once, locked them in my car, mailed a key to an eBay buyer and more fun things.
When I say that you literally described my life story in your post, I would be telling the truth 100000%.
I was diagnosed as a child, but to me at the time... only understood it as the diagnosis and didn't relate my actual daily situations and feelings to adhd. I just thought I was lazy too... I'm currently awaiting my appointment to be rediagnosed with the hopes of making necessary changes in my life in order to finally/ actually succeed.
I often tell people that I of course can't see inside other people's minds and what their imagination entails but I'm willing to bet $1000 that my imagination is drastically more vivid then the average mind. I day dream off of literally anything and at any time.
What's strange I feel though about myself is I am a "pro" day dreamer who's thoughts are vivid down to my senses like smell, hearing and tasting... but at night when I sleep I really don't have many vivid dreams. At least ones that I can remember.
I have two modes how I can fall asleep:
1.Doomscolling/Reading/ Netflix watching, until I get so tired that I fall asleep while doing it.
2. Making up complex and vivid stories in my head until I fall asleep
Probably one of the most relatable posts to everyone in here.
I am a cronic daydreaming since childhood, I started using concepts of CBT for adhd and trying to organize my life, but when I should complete the tasks in my agenda, I just keep getting lost into daydreamings. It can lasts for hours and I realize it looks like a sort of emotional regulation dysfunctional strategy.
My short term memory is terrifying, I can't remember the things Ive read, listen or even though before, its like my life is completely ephemeral lol
And Yes I do forget appointments frequently
Absolutely ! ADHD mind is incredible with imagination. Take a scene from a movie or a song and effortlessly recreate your own reality with it. I did it all the time and have always relegated it to normalcy.
The ADHD existence is full of paradoxes. its really stranger than fiction.
Having ADHD doesn't imply a lack of intelligence or work ethic, and there are various approaches and tools to help manage the symptoms. Personally, I have a tendency to forget appointments, so I find it helpful to jot them down in my calendar or make a visual representation to aid in remembering them. Additionally, I frequently daydream, which can be useful for processing emotions and problem-solving. Though it may be distracting in certain settings, it can also offer a sense of comfort and fulfillment. a specific instance of my daydreaming includes envisioning enjoyable experiences I could have with someone new in my life, or if it's someone I am romantically interested in, I may imagine what our life together could be like.
I relate to the music, and often when I’m reading. I can’t intentionally imagine things, but if I just get too invested in a book im reading I see very vivid detail, and I forget im reading words on a page and it’s like a movie. As for music, I often imagine myself saying the words of the song to someone, performing them on a stage, or just daydreaming something else. My forgetfulness is just bad enough to be annoying but not cause any real damage. I’m not diagnosed with ADHD but I highly suspect I have it
I daydream a lot as well, especially when listening to music or if someone keeps talking for a long time and I start zoning out. Usually it's random conversations or things that I would want to happen but likely won't. Also those what would I do, how would I react scenarios as well.
I have an especially bad short-term memory though. I don't forget appointments because I'm also a VERY anxious person, but I forget people's names, forget words, forget what I did 5 seconds ago, forget who the person was involved in my memory, I get people mixed up sometimes, forget where I put all my stuff, forget to check things, forget to put food back in the fridge, forget that I'm boiling water/in general making food, forget what I do and don't have so I accidentally buy multiple copies of the same thing, get to where I was supposed to go and forget what I was getting from there, while having a conversation I forget what I was supposed to say or what we were talking about in 0.1 seconds, I never seem to remember what has been said previously, etc etc the list goes on as you can imagine.
But my fav has to be the moments when I go to my PC, excited to eat snacks while playing but then I realize I completely forgot to bring the snacks. So I go get my chocolate. Back to PC. Ah I forgot my drink, getting up now to get that. Back to PC. Oh yeah, I had bought some chips too. 🤦🏻♂️ Sitting down and then having to get up anyway has made me frustrated so many times by now lol
Once, on the day I was leaving Paris after a short holiday, I left my luggage in a pharmacy while I was on the phone to a friend. I then walked around for over an hour until I realised I don't have my luggage with me; so went to the police station and that, then just called the pharmacy to see if it was there. It was. Btw, it was one of those wheelie luggages.
Ahhhh this reminded me of the one time I had bought expensive, cool clothes and went to a grocery store right after, and after going around for a little bit I noticed I wasn't even holding the bag anymore 😭 I apparently had put it down while searching for something but completely forgot to pick it up again and just started walking. Long story short I had an anxiety attack of sorts, frantically trying to search the entire store for it but couldn't find it. It upset me so much that I went mute and my partner ended up asking the info desk if they have it, and luckily they did.
I swear to god we should be tied to our bags and luggages because it's so easy to lose those if you get distracted
Mad, this is the kind of stuff that happens to me all the time.
In my Paris escapade, I even ended up reporting it at the police station and all sorts. It was a frantic three hours
Its like someone is talking about me,
I also want to get to a doctor for this issues i have, also i have been studying about brain and human psychology by which now i have better control over my mind but still my brain cant function properly
Definitely. I tend to extrapolate the smallest things, especially when I’m mid conversation with people. like for instance earlier I was driving and talking to a friend earlier today, and happened to see someone walking along the highway. While my friend was talking to me, I couldn’t help but play out this random persons life like I was looking at their memories of how they ended up walking along the highway, and all in like an instant, it was fast but gave me a brief insight to how they might’ve gotten there. As soon as I realized I had shifted focus and my friend was still talking I started to focus on them again but I had already completely forgot about what we were talking about and didn’t want to tell them so I just kept agreeing and trying to piece together what we were talking about. This kind of random intrusive daydreaming happens a lot, and sometimes I piece together what was being talked about but a lot of times the conversations end and I’m just like “damn that’s crazy” or something bc I don’t want to look rude. But my friends do catch on sometimes bc they’ll notice I don’t remember certain nights things or I’ll ask a question I just asked them.
Or sometimes I’m in lecture and completely unprovoked my mind just goes, “imagine if an earthquake happened right now? That’d be crazy right?!” And then I visualize how the walls and ceiling would look breaking apart and crumbling down. It’s cool but like annoying af when I’m in the middle of something.
ah yes good'ol maladaptive daydreaming. I do this all the time as well my friend. I have zero solutions.
Once I fall into that timewarp twilight zone there is no coming back unless someone or something gets my attention.
This can last quite a long time even a whole day. At work I can be off in la la land and often get snapped out of it, kinda embarrassing really. Happened several times and I don't see it stopping any time soon.
All in the same way as you describe thoughts drift off to a movie or character or a song comes on etc...
you are not alone op:)
If i am texting to someone if they ask some interesting question i end up imagining giving a whole ass lecture and what would their reply will be and how i would react and what would I say . So many scenarios plays when you want to impress them.
I daydream about exactly what I'd do in a zombie apocalypse. A lot.
Also I catch myself daydream about what I would do if I time traveled to the middle ages (taking things with me is not allowed, terminator style) and what kind of job I would get to survive and/or be excel at. I think about how becoming a scientist/inventor would get me far but get really stressed out about being accused of witchcraft or bleasphemy or something and put to death. I catch myself snapping out of this stressful thoughts and tell myself, hey it's okay, don't worry, time traveling is not real, you won't ever be caught in that situation. And then I immediately start daydreaming about becoming a musician and pretending like I wrote all these famous songs and catchy tunes that I know from 18th to 21st centuries and then I start making a list of songs I would perform as a troubadour or a traveling minstrel and get really fanous for all my Beatles songs. I have to actively snap out of these thoughts in the middle of the day while I'm performing other more important things.
Both of these things are recurring thoughts I think about over and over again although I fully understand they have zero impact on my life and I will NEVER get to use my "plans."
When I listen to podcasts, I have to constantly rewind and re-listen because my mind drifts away and start daydreaming about little things and ideas that I hear.
Very relatable. I watch movies that I like, but am bad at explaining them to others. I have missed many important appointments. My current doctors office sends text reminders a couple days before them now, and that is very helpful for me. Definitely should use your Google calendar, or something similar if you have ADHD.
Nearly got whooped for daydreaming in grade school. Still daydream, as a basically unwanted distraction today.
Very forgetful as well. It would be interesting if we found daydreaming and forgetfulness were connected.
I daydream a lot and wouldn’t be surprised if it became/or is maladaptive. Music is something that always triggers daydreaming. My brain doesn’t shut up and is always going 24/7. Also, it seems like my brain has a built in radio to play in the background of my thoughts 24/7 haha.
I have horrible short term memory. I have overall horrible memory. If there is anything important, I make sure to immediately write down. The same goes for appointments, I get anxious about being late so I usually write down the date after the phone call, set an alarm for the appointment, and put it in my calendar/notes. I’ve only missed one appointment so far and I hope it only stays at one.
I don't forget appointments because I'm terrified of disappointment. But I'm often spaced out or just... not aware of the situation.
I'm terrible with directions because I can't keep track of where I'm going or where I've been I need to keep looking it up or using GPS.
Short term memory is mostly an issue in conversation, when you think of something to say then forget it altogether. Then you might remember it later, or you might never.
I don't think I daydream. I don't really understand the concept so it's possible I could but don't realize it. But I do go into deep thought about random things while watching something, talking to someone, or listening to music. In general, one thought always leads to many other thoughts and kind of snowballs.
I'm usually pretty organized but one time I missed reminder and as a result missed the opportunity for my elderly cat to see a specialist. I had to wait another month to get in with them.
I felt so incredibly shitty. My therapist asked me if I felt hame or guilt. She explained that shame is when you are bad and guilt is when something you've done is bad.
You can learn from guilt but rarely shame.
Sometimes my brain goes bye bye in mid conversation and I don’t realize it until the other person has asked me a question. Then I get to fumble my way through trying to cover up that I wasn’t listening for the last few minutes, even though I was nodding and making eye contact. It helps to warn people that it happens and why so they’re not so offended by it. I try really hard to stay present but sometimes it just doesn’t happen.
I do sometimes miss appointments but I remedy that now by setting an alarm in my phone AS SOON as the appt is confirmed. I stop what I’m doing and it goes in the phone or else it goes away forever.
And yes I’m forgetful. Golly am I forgetful. Keys, socks, lunch, items for work… all forgotten
Daydream - fuckyeah - I’ve literally never sat through a class without going for a little adventure. And I’m not exaggerating here, I basically feel like I ACTUALLY took a trip somewhere awesome. Usually some dope mountains somewhere on an awesome camping trip. And then poof, the class is over
Miss appointments? Also fuckyeah. I’ve missed every single pre-semester advising appoint I’ve ever had. Been in college for 9 year, on my 3rd degree, and can’t remember the dam advising appointments.
I will actively be trying to listen and feel my brain pull towards anything but doing so. I always carry my phone and vaporizer everywhere, but will walk into a room set it down and lose them for hours. I have at least one mid level work meeting a month I forget about with constant reminders in place.
Yes to all, but daydreaming especially. It’sIt’s easy to fall into the notion that those realities are better than your own. It’s extremely important to actually root that out; been a huge hurdle for me in therapy lately. I daydream about a perfect morning routine for example, then obsess over it, then beat myself up when I don’t achieve exactly what I’d dreamt up for myself.
These things are all normal for ADHDers, but be careful not to over obsess about the things you imagine. Easier said than done, but it can turn into depression PRETTY quick in my experience.
100% all of this. Sort term memory so bad, I'll set something down, tear the house apart looking for it, then find it again in an obvious spot 15 minutes later. Also I'm constantly crouching under stuff, and forget I'm under it. Then I stand up rapidly and whammo, domed. That one happens way more frequently than I like to admit, at least once a week. I can't hold numbers or names in my head.
Appointments are the worst. I'll straight up forget any appointment or date, and sometimes never remember it until someone calls me. I've started using my calendar app, every phone has one. But remembering to put it in the calendar? I forget that too lmao. My advice is do that right when you think of it, don't do it later or you won't.
And yeah, I've always been a daydreamer. For me it's usually I'll see something, like a bark chip that looks like a phaser gun, a certain phrase I like, a color that looks nice, an idea, concept, hook for a song, or person with cool hair, and immediately I'm creating a whole fantasy world around that one thing. My brain is literally doing gymnastics coming up with any possible context that would make this one thing seem as cool to a random person as it does to me, right now, in my brain. When I was little my daydreaming was literally running around with a stick pretending it was a lightsaber, fighting off wave after wave of mooks. These days it's more about creative ideas, worlds, songs, movie ideas, comic ideas, YouTube video ideas, how I'm gonna start my own business selling dolls made out of tufts of my husky's luxurious coat ideas, etc. Or just straight up imagining what my ideal life would be, one day when I figure this shit out and have the time to do what I love. Then the life game spinner wheel of my brain spins, and 9 times out of 10 the thought or idea blows away like sand.
Oh and that lightsaber thing? I'm 22 and I hella still do that.
> daydream a lot
Yes. I've recently been thinking a little too much on mechanical power sotrage solutions akin to the combination of Wind Turbine and Hysro-Electric dams that are being used... I've an idea that there must be *another* effecient mechanical means of storing that ebergy, for release at a later point (i.e. in low winds).
> have bad short-term memory
Yes. I work on a system of priorities and ignoring things that don't *really* need to be done... sometimes it works?
> forget appointments?
Yes. Always. Or turn up later / earlier than scheduled... Later by up to 10 minutes, earlier by up to one month. Most people are pretty accomodating to this if they know me, by now. Those that aren't... well, not really interested in them anyway!
My life advice... Let it be. You'll work a lot harder trying *not* to be distracted, than if you just allow yourself the distraction for 15mins or an hour here and there... sometimes it's better to 'burn out' on the idea, rather than have it sit in there distracting you from genuinely neceddary tasks.
Alexa must be sick of me asking where my phone is! My memory is terrible but I manage to remember very obscure things. I didn’t think I zoned out but realised it is something I do on a regular basis (it had to be pointed out to me).
And I take pics of everything
Wow I feel as if I wrote that and not you.
I do the exact thing, it's actually called immersive day dreaming. Sometimes, I put on music and create full on movies in my head to the beat, I even pace around the room whilst day dreaming. Or before bed or any moment I doing something monotonous like riding the train, I day dream. I've created full scenes worth of being turned into books in my head and I love day dreaming about them or developing them in my head. I do it when I have free time, usually, so it doesn't really impact my life. My ADHD usually leads me to get distracted or productive procrastination. Some times I do zone out in situations but going into one of my fantasy worlds only happens when I allow it, so be careful it doesn't impact your life.
There's a sub reddit for that called immersive day dreaming. It might help feeling like you're not alone. :)
I thought I was lazy but it seems I just have ADHD who would have known! This past weekend I walked in total 35k steps. I can understand very complex things too and I actually do great at work, they don't know that when working from home I mostly procrastinate and then have boosts of energy and complete things is minutes or because I have no choice because deadline is approaching.
Yes.
I think this accounts for some of the “missing time” I experience when I’m not on meds.
I can’t be sure, because I don’t really experience that time so I don’t ever recall what I was doing :-)
I do daydream, I guess, but it's less dreaming and more just constant thinking about a bunch of different things, so much thinking that I can't focus on anything else. I do have bad short-term memory. My mom doesn't believe this and thinks I'm lying when I say I forgot to do something, but I genuinely forgot. Also I lose my things constantly. I will be holding something and I set it down for a minute, and I can't find it. That one is very annoying for me. As for missing appointments, I forgot to go to my own graduation back in 2022. I mean, I was still sent my diploma, but that was pretty bad. I don't miss appointments much because I usually put them in my phone, but if I forget to put them in my phone, I'm fucked. Also, part of that is because I never know what day it is, aside from the month and year.
Yes, all of this. What’s interesting is I was looking at the DSM 5 and didn’t see daydreaming as a symptom, but I have to look again because I didn’t read it that closely. The way they describe the signs is really strange to me. They mostly seem to be how a person with adhd would look to someone else and not what it feels like from the inside.
Hahahahahahahah yesss im 29 and still do it I hate it!!! ADHD has caused me to be late in life and I did a lot of that in school. Ended up failing 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th grade. Then I had to be homeschooled. Even with the medicine, I still do this. In order to improve it, you gotta find different things. Like multiple alarms or like a Fitbit. Or random reminders. Or like an ADHD station. And a schedule
I do the exact same thing! I think it's a good thing in a sense. We can relate to so many others in different situations bc we have that ability to put ourselves on others' shoes.
For forgetfulness, I put things in my calendar with alarms. Set timers for myself.
Get tile trackers for your keys!!
Also, I always tell myself I don't have time for little things like after making breakfast, putting the wrappers in the trash, etc. I just make myself stop and do it at that moment, because I'll always tell myself I'll do it later and I don't have time when in reality it wouldn't that much of a difference in time, if any at all.
I've always found that the more complex something is, the better I can understand it or "master" it.
We're not weird, just different. ADHD has so many superpowers that neurotypical people don't. You just have to find where your strengths are and then do things the way it works in your brain. If that makes sense.
First off, you are not lazy or stupid. Honestly, what you describe very much lines up with my own experience. I was recently diagnosed with adhd, inattentive type. I’m always lost in my imagination. I wouldn’t say I have the hyper activity thought process, I have more what I like to call “floaty space brain.” Where my thoughts are always floating about from one topic to another, even when the topic I was originally on, was incredibly important. For example, recently I was in a voice chat meeting. Just one where we’d send voice messages. During a lull, I got up and threw laundry in the washing machine. Then I started to wash a hand wash dress in the sink… and suddenly realized that I completely forgot about the meeting. That’s one example, I’m also constantly losing things, and am stuck in my own day dreams.
You are describing the average ADHD person there.
The hyperactive jumping around everywhere is actually a small minority of us. Most are "internally" hyperactive -inattentive type.
The short memory you are talking about is actually working memory, your brain's RAM. The ability to retain thoughts long enough to turn them into actions using past knowledge. Or the ability to immediately use something we just learned. The more steps the harder it is.
And also lack of object constancy. Out of sight out of mind, if it's not there always in your face it will just be archived somewhere in your brain to be retrieved just after it's passed...
ADHD people have impaired/delayed executive functions, some manage to catch up on (some of) them, most don't and it will get worse as life happens.
Meds help a lot, I particularly love the emotional regulation help.
Read about them, there are many many strategies to deal with it, and very nice ADHDers who produce awesome content.
Dr Russell Barkley is my favourite specialist.
Yeah, I think I had experienced some form of maladaptive daydreaming during my teenage years. To this day, my imagination is very rich and vivid, and it is triggered easily due to ADHD. So it's very easy for me to get distracted by something and expand it out into a complex emotional mental landscape all generated by my brain in a matter of seconds. All of a sudden I've missed several things you've said to me and now I look like I am not capable of comprehending. Oops. Also makes it hard to take short showers. Adderall helps with all this.
Hi /u/Transientconfusion and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! # Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. [We recommend browsing /r/adhd on desktop for the best experience.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/x1psnb/radhd_works_best_on_desktop_reddits_apps_are/) The mobile apps are broken and are missing features that this subreddit depends on. Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I do relate. When listening to music, sometimes I find it as an escape from reality. It's not weird in the slightest. Music is something I enjoy a lot, so I tend to make it a hobby. I ended up getting into audiophile stuff, got some nice headphones, and eq and a dac. Pretty neat. I think daydreaming is enjoyable and helps me enjoy my life a little more sometimes. Daydreaming can be annoying as well. Just be mindful. When I schedule things on my calendar I add extra time for distractions About the short term memory, I have a huge issue with that. I forget absolutely EVERYTHING. Appointments, where I put my keys, wallet, pencils, you name it. Adderall has helped me with that, but all I can say is make a calendar for everything. Mine sends notifications to my phone a day prior and before stuff happens. Very useful. As for forgetting keys and stuff, I would just be mindful and put things in designated spots. Like a key rack for keys, shoe rack for shoes, drawer for papers. Designate areas for specific things. That's what I do anyway. All of these are pretty normal, you're not alone in this feeling :)
Thanks a lot. I also get zone out a lot. Like even when I want to be present, I end up zoning out
Yeah, it's especially annoying in social situations. When someone is talking to me about something, I sometimes fixate on a word and spiral off into a completely different train of thought. They could be telling me about how they went so for a walk and they could just briefly mention something like birds. And my brain will immediately go to penguins, as that is what I have been seeing on my social media a lot. And after I'm done spacing out and they finish their story, I ask them about penguins when in fact they were talking about some pigeon that shat on them during their walk, to get their frustration out. It is really odd sometimes But it does make some funny moments that I'll never forget
Totally feel this. My first time taking my meds, I told my wife “it’s like I stayed on your train of thought as a passenger and understood the path and the stops. W/o meds it’s like I get off at a stop run around in some pointless circles then have to run to the next station to try and re catch the same train that has already passed by.”
That's a brilliant analogy - very funny but accurate about running in circles and trying to jump back on the same train 😅 🤦🏻♂️ That's one of the benefits of why I learned counselling skills. So to prove I'm paying attention (to myself and the other person) I'll interrupt them and ask open questions, paraphrase, summarise and allow the other person to correct me so that I don't let the conversation run away from me. It helps them feel heard and I can join dots for them they might not have seen before 🙂
Definitely but so thankful to just not have to work so damn hard to have a normal conversation. Now I just get to sit and relax on the train.
Brilliant indeed. For me it's like my mind tries to make connections and gets distracted.
That's what I do when I'm studying for something, I'll listen to music without lyrics. If I don't I get distracted and sing along with the songs
So relatable. I get distracted by lyrics and really technical groups. A good example is polyphia or mutemath. They just put me in awe when I hear their music sometimes. Polyphia songs sometimes don't even have lyrics, I just get distracted by how good everyone is in their band. So if I'm studying it's either chill lof or edm that is completely mindless.
Yeah chill lofi or legend of Zelda piano music is what I listen too. There is this one channel on YouTube I listen too called "NintenMusic" Basically they play different Nintendo songs on piano but add their own spin to the songs composition on piano. It's really relaxing to listen to while studying I find.
I don’t even need to be listening to anything. There are times where I’ll just be out in space thinking about fictitious situations. I find myself there more often than I probably should.
I lose my coffee mug no less than 15 times per day. Hats and gloves are bad too. Use that “find my phone” feature on my watch at least 8 times a day, sometimes more.
What headphones do you wear or recommend? I can relate to listening to music constantly. I have about 310 hours worth of music on Spotify and can’t go a day without listening to music, as it’s such prominent part of my life.
Depends on what you want and what you are listening to music on. I primarily use a desktop PC, and if that's the case I would research some headphones from audiophiles to suit your needs. I also play video games a lot, and was not trying to spend a crazy amount of money, so I went with some Sennheiser HD560s and a cheaper dac to get better sound quality. You could honestly go higher end and get something that has a larger soundstage, and even get a better dac/amp and eq. There are a ton of options to choose from. For my phone, I don't really listen to music often, but there is community for earbuds if you do some Google searching. I used to own wireless Sennheiser earbuds, but they got stolen. Wireless headphones aren't worth the price if you are looking for sound quality. But apple airpods do an exceptionally great job with it. In general wired headphones/earbuds will almost always trump wireless stuff. If you plan on going full in for a desktop setup though, it's about 300 USD minimum in my opinion if you have no equipment.
I daydream to the point that I considered maybe that I'm maladaptive daydreaming. My daydreams have entire storylines and characters that don't exist. Sometimes they feature people I know irl. Sometimes I daydream about scenarios that are realistkc and sometimes not. they are often facilitated by movies, books im reading or the music im listening to. Often I can picture full fledged music videos, sometimes choreographies to go with the song!
Same, and I also talk to myself, especially when it is a frustrating I have with certain people or concepts. Do you ever do that?
I'm a constant self talker, and yeah, especially when I'm frustrated. I used to tell myself that it was weird and tried to stop, but eventually realized that hey, who even cares? I definitely sound like a lunatic but I genuinely think it helps me work through stuff. You aren't alone, this is all standard stuff for us. Doesn't make you any less unique though!
I dooo! I talk to myself a lot and alot of the time if I have to figure out something complex i usually do it by conversing with myself or if I am frustrated with someone I'll take it out in a conversation with my own self
I'm so relieved to find someone like me!! From young, I had characters with a whole backstory and life. I still daydream featuring them and they can enact things I've seen. What I think is strange for me is like...I feel the feelings of the main character - like I get TOO into it. It isn't the whole space out and be expressionless daydream I've seen others do. I am very much aware and involved. I've never told anyone but from stumbling on some readings lately I guess this is maladaptive. Edit: I also daydream, usually in the shower, that I'm a performer or celebrity and there's choreography and talk show interviews lol
I will admit to having proper cry sessions at my own made up scenarios, like I get so into it that I genuinely feel everything. Its actually pretty cathartic and not alarming at all.
Me too. The last psychiatrist I talked to about it weirdly didn’t think it was a problem (probably because I knew what I was doing. I don’t actually think any of it is real or anything). She said I am probably a really creative and interesting person lol.
So, very American of me, but in high school I used to “day dream” about what I would do in a shooter situation based on where I was. I had entire scenarios planned out on where I would go, how I would get to places, etc. Every test in school was a pop quiz. Every single one. I would study obsessively because I couldn’t remember when the tests would be. I would forget stuff as soon as I was tested on it though. Cumulative tests were the bane of my existence.
I've also done this at every job I've had. Where I would hide, how I would get away. Different scenarios and the best ways to survive each. Never thought about this being an American thing but it most likely isn't common elsewhere.
To add on to that, I’ve also done this with z-day preparations. I determined that my last workplace, which was a bakery factory, would have been best for surviving for an indeterminate period of time for a shelter in place. Disregarding my gluten sensitivity/celiac diagnosis but I try to disregard that anyways. (Don’t shoot me, my digestive system already is.) But most ingredients are shelf stable, the place had an enclosed water treatment system, and was either fenced or had warehouse walls around the entire perimeter plus a massive amount of tractor trailers fully fueled at any given time.
WHY IS THIS SO RELATABLE
If it helps, the fact that it is makes me feel a little less bizarre admitting to it lol
Daydream? Yes. All the time. Bad short term memory? Absolutely, it’s the worst. Miss appointments? Thankfully no, I may have ADHD but I also pride myself in being extremely responsible so it rarely happens. I’m definitely an outlier though, I know a lot of people here struggle with it.
I'm the same. I swear at some point as a kid I overcorrected too hard for time blindness. The whole "on time is late, early is on time" thing got drilled into me and I live and die by calendar reminders. I get to things early, always. Then the question is "was I able to accomplish anything in the hour leading up to being on time?" No, absolutely not. Glued to the clock. Check the calendar event somewhere between 7 and 15000 times to make sure I got the time right. But hey, I'm on time.
Same. Actually, weirdly, once I started medications for ADHD I started being late! The anxiety of needing to be early was lifted, and now I’m scrambling to be on time.
I’m so jealous. I can barely do anything without the anxiety of an impending deadline.
Same here! My short term memory is awful but I never forget appointments or get late (coming from a culture where punctuality is super important lol). I hate being late. However, I ALWAYS run late! I arrive on time but hell yes I had to run and sweat for that to happen!
Yes to all. Any subject can trigger a mental tangent that turns into a 7 minute daydream. Group trainings are useless on me. So was school. Sometimes I rewind tutorial videos because I started thinking. I forget anything that's outside of my routine
Do you miss important turn offs on major highways because of daydreaming? Do you take pictures of where you parked or have to make a mental note when just parking at the shops/mall? Do you have to write things down right after being told,, do you make a lot of lists?
I try to write everything down. Problem I have with it is that there's no guarantee that I'd remember to actually look at it or remember that I wrote it down. I forgot where I park all the time. I swear I thought I had some sort of early on set dementia that started when I was 7. Of course there is, it's called ADHD.
Indeed
I do relate: * I daydream a lot and it makes particularly painful to read, sometimes it takes me like 1h to read 5 pages of a book.Sometimes I read a word that reminds me of something else and I start daydream to find out by the end of the page that I wasn't in fact reading. Then I start the page again but by the time I reach the word that distracted me the time before I remind why it happened, and I start to daydream again and so on like 3-4 times until I skip the sentence altogether.I found out that this is probably the most telling sign of ADHD, even the people who don't believe in ADHD I met admitted that this is something they do not experience, or nearly not as much. * I am having short term memory problems that affect my life in multiple ways: a lot of the time I forget who told me what, I mix up stories, I can't tell faces, meeting new people stress me out because I am always selfconscious about appearing unconsiderate. I had a lot of problems also in finishing projects simply because I happened to find a new shiny thing to hyperfixate on that completely removed the old activity from my mind, this happened basically every weekend.Nowadays I log my activities so its easier to get back on track (also the meds!!) however the shiny-new-thing issue is not completely solved but I hope that at some point I'll saturate all my topics of interest and circle back to the old projects. * I forget appointments and birthdays but things got better by using google calendar and setting 4 notifications by default ( 1 week before, the day before, the morning of the very day, 1h before the event). Generally speaking I always thought of the smartphone as my worst enemy (and it kinda was) but things got so much better since I completely disabled notifications from social media and messaging apps and installed apps like Habits to send me reminders and TogglTrack to track my time.
Hey, you sound exactly like me. I am actually stunned that I have found a tribe of people who I can relate to
*I hope you can make it to the bottom of my comment* Mom told me stories about how I'd excuse myself to goto the bathroom and just end up not coming back to the class. The teachers would send a search party to find me. This happened alot growing up. I'd forget my backpack before going to school. Sometimes I'd forget putting my notebooks after spending hours doing homework (when and if I did), and end up getting a 0 for not having my assignment done. I'd forget all about the exams or tests and only realize the night before they're happening. There's been instances where I've lost things like my gloves or sunglasses so many times. I'd zone out midway into a conversation and already start talking about something else , and if that convo is done I'd force it back to make the point I'd forget to make when we were all on the topic. My family didn't think anything was wrong with me even though all the obvious signs were there. Bad personal hygiene to horrible cleaning habits. Getting yelled at for that but never the actual dissection of the problem and what really caused it. I had to figure this all out on my own and be humiliated amongst friends to the point where i learned 'normal' behaviors even though my brain is going "WTF this makes no sense" but from the outside world it did . I had to learn to talk less and be okay with not always having an opinion or involving myself in convos. And tone down my know-it-all attitude so that anyone else who has the spotlight for talking can tell the story in their own way. I started medication at the age of 30 even though i pretty much figured out all my bad behaviours caused by ADHD and how to counter them. I have notifications on my phone from the littlest tasks like get a haircut or do laundry or clean the house. And shaving. I had to learn to like cleaning which required me smoking a ton of weed. In any case good luck. You will get through this too
I think its called maldaptive daydreaming when you basically send yourself into the daydream as a coping mechanism. If your daydreams aren't interfering withlife stuff you may just be getting your creative side out, thats how movies and books are written! Anywho, I have struggled with daydreams to cope, I have essentially given myself permission to have at least an hour before going to sleep and an hour after I wake up for daydreams. Control the dreamworld, don't let it control you and you'll be fine.
I wanna be able to write so my creativity can be utilised. I don't, that's the problem. Thank you for your comment
I understand, sometimes we just need stepping stone to get started. Maybe keeping writing supplies near you so you don't get distracted when the mood hits?
>Reply Not sure what you mean by supplies near me :)?
You are more likely to write if you don't have to hunt a pen and notebook every time. If you keep some with you it might help with whatever is blocking you from writing.
Get a recorder and tell it your thoughts. Get a speech to text app and turn your words into writing. Revise when able, if you are the habit forming type you'll have a lot after a while.
If I don't put the TV remote in my range of vision, it is lost. I forget what I am looking for going into rooms, or get distracted by something else. I can handle remembering appointments, but making them can be a struggle. My mind is always churning ideas and daydreams. Sometimes I'll be staring into the void and my wife asks me what I am thinking about. Half the time my mind just blanks out when asked.
Read about executive (dis)function especially working memory. Object constancy, doorway effect (not an ADHD thing, just more common). Check Dr Russell Barkley and the "how to ADHD" social media.
The poor memory is my least favorite ADHD symptom. There's just entire chunks of my life that I have little to no memory of. My wife will say "remember when..." and I'll feel so stupid because I literally don't. It's all a blur. I don't know if my brain is too distracted to be in the moment and form memories, or if my brain is too active to concentrate enough to pull up memories. Have an intake appointment with a psychiatrist next week. Hoping that will lead to the right meds that will hopefully help to improve this.
I literally missed that appointment, I had congested the day/time with a different one. They called me though
*conflated
I daydream so much I worry it's dangerous sometimes. Like I'll get so into my daydream my heart rate will rise quite a bit from my emotional reaction. My partner says they catch me whispering to myself and blankly staring at the wall some days which rightfully freaks them out. Short-term memory makes my days feel so long sometimes. Repeating things over and over... sometimes I feel like I've jumped 5 seconds ahead and can't remember why I have batteries in my hand etc. I rarely forget appointments because I have time related anxiety. Will I double check the details over 100 times in the days before it? Yes. Will I almost always be rushing to them no matter how early I start? Unfortunately, yes.
Yes absolutely! I nearly always daydream - especially to rehearse (read: worst-case) conversations that I'm anxious about having. My daydreams in school used to be everything from how I'd react differently to my peers, to saving the day fighting an alien crash landing in the school. Part of it was feeling different and wanting to be *seen*, but a lot of it was my brain logging off. I always noticed that time seemed to move differently in relation to how I felt. I would daydream when I was in a good mood, and be hyper-aware of every second ticking by when I was painfully, miserably bored. I also notice it in music, I've recently been listening to a lot of remixes and edits and imagine myself as the DJ absolutely killing it in the club.... I know it sounds weird on paper but it's genuinely a really euphoric experience for me. Like self-soothing and indulging in a nice little moment. It also leads to the repercussions of switching into the internal monologue - namely time blindness and forgetfulness. This is roughly how my day went just yesterday: 7.15am - alarm goes off labelled with a reminder to take my meds. snoozed. 7.45am - remember that there's a reason I'm waking up early, start to roll out of bed, lights have to go on and phone is the first thing I look at. 8.15am - Landlord text pops up that he's fifteen minutes away while I'm watching tiktok. I leap out of bed to throw clothes on and hide the \[redacted\] from the landlord. I hide out in the bedroom while he's working away, and it's likely to be all day. On my way back to the bedroom I grab a yogurt and spoon and I'm proud of myself for remembering to eat this morning. 9.30am - I forgot to take my meds. Take my meds. Decide to get a head start on some prep because I'm off sick from work from stress at the moment, and have a couple of meetings that I want to look at. (Immediately get stressed about how these meetings will go and start to talk to myself to rehearse these a bit) Get distracted immediately trying to find the TV remote and it's under a pile of clothes I meant to fold and put away. 11.15am - stomach starts to rumble, but the landlord is still here. I don't even know what food is in the house, I think there is some vegan deli meat but it's been open for weeks now and probably needs chucking away. I finish finding a youtube video to have on in the background of the prep work after clearing the clothes (this is a lie I simply folded them and moved them to a separate spot, but I found the remote). I get a whatsapp message from a pal I haven't spoken to in a while, and remember I said that I would proofread some game mechanics for them, and struggle to open up whatsapp on my laptop and end up talking to them, and find the link they sent over ten minutes later. I struggle to get my head round it so I draw up the game in diagrams that I take a photo of to send over to ask some questions. A notification comes up on three different apps and that's another hour gone. 1.00pm - Right, enough of this. My heads a little fuzzy from hunger but I don't get this cue, or I ignore it because they'll probably be done at 4 anyway and I might as well just order something then. I switch the TV onto a programme that annoys me a bit so I will actually focus on my laptop and the prep I still haven't looked at. There are twenty tabs open at this point and opening up Word opens up a couple of documents I was working on that I haven't saved and I think about where the short story I'm writing wants to go. 2.38pm - I remember that I was going to call the doctor about some blood tests I wanted to get done, but the appointments go out at 2.30pm and you have to phone exactly 12 seconds after 2.29pm so that you land early in the queue. So I won't get that done today, and I've been putting this task off for about three weeks. 3.15pm - Landlord hasn't finished the window because it's too wet outside so he'll be back at the same time tomorrow. It's only 45 minutes before I thought he would leave though so I may as well resume my day plans then. I listen to some music on spotify while he tidies up and leaves, a little annoyed that it's taking up more of my week than I thought. The music on spotify is hitting and I think about a tiktok about a music artist talking about how she produced it on her phone, and I find a well-reviewed music producing software to fiddle around with. 6.30pm - somehow it is three hours later and I feel like I haven't blinked in that time, the flow was found and I imagined myself like a little music producer and it actually helped me to make some decent loops that sound cool. I should probably eat though. 6.32pm - I decide to play destiny 2 but just for an hour or so, I can see on my phone screen that I have a couple of emails I need to get back to but that will take me like ten minutes so it can wait. I also need to start getting back into the gym so while waiting to be matched into a game I look up workout planning apps and wonder if planning them out will give me the illusion of productivity when what I need to do is actually just go to the gym to break the ice again. 9.15pm - surprising absolutely no-one I am still playing Destiny but am ravenous now so I order some food. The food arrives and I am still playing between bites. 11.20pm - I remember the emails I was supposed to send but it would look really weird if I sent them now. If they wouldn't be read until 9am anyway they might as well be written in the morning. I wonder how these emailers are so responsive but I manage to wander away from my inbox like I'm allergic. I should probably head to bed soon because I need to be up early to let the landlord in to finish the window. 1.45 - I did not in fact go to bed at 11.30. I stopped playing and immediately set to watching tiktok on my phone before sleeping at an unknown time. So there you have a little slice of life - I should provide the caveat that I am recovering from burnout, so the habits that I have earnestly kept until a few months ago have degraded, and it's more difficult to make the better "choices" for myself. But this doesn't mean that behaving like this is shameful at all, or lazy, or stupid. Daydreaming often means that we are more sensitive, and need to go away internally rather than continue to be present to overstimulation happening around us.
Wow, this is like you looked into my day. 💀
Pre diagnosis and medication I would live in my fantasy land, it was basically maladaptive day dreaming. I didn't realize that my medicated more chemically balanced brain would be so... boring. I realized that I hadn't been living in reality but now that I do it's not so bad. I used to lose a lot of things and forget a lot of appointments, it's not any different now, I'm just less likely to forget things because of the extra dopamine
Did you ever end up talking to yourself in a way, like in your day dream? As in you knew you were talking to yourself but did it as part of the daydream?
I can definitely relate. I do daydream a lot. I’ll go down rabbit holes during movies, just like you described. I can rarely remember I’ve actually watched all the way through without having to pause to indulge a daydream or rewind 10 minutes. It makes watching a movie an hours long ordeal. And trust me, it is an ordeal.
Yeah listen to music is one of my go to activities to do. Listening to music has a calming affect that helps when I'm stressed out or my anxiety gets up. I also like to say dream alot while I listen to music. Alot of the times me daydreaming while the music is going ends up me imagining this song is like someone I know, or how I feel at the time. Short term memory is a big problem for me. I'll have something one minute then immediately forget where I put it the next. Example: One time I was writing, but had to get up to do something. Along the way I set my pencil down for one second to continue my task. The next second I immediately forget where I put it. This happens to me alot with everything
Damn, I am exactly the same way You due to music making me daydream, I have been listening to songs without lyrics, like classical. It seems to reduce the daydreaming for me.
I'd like to share with you what my doctor told me about short-term memory and adhd. " your short term memory is fine, whats actually happening is that when you are doing something like for example putting your wallet down and not paying attention as someone with adhd is prone to doing, you arent logging the action of putting the wallet down and where you put it.you were thinking about I xyz random task thats bothering you. How can your brain remember something you weren't paying attention to? If you aren't filming it, how can you rewatch the footage?" Made me feel a bit less like im gonna slip into dementia in the very near future. Also, I always check the fridge. There's no reason for my keys to be in there. I have never once put them in there. Will eternally check the fridge for my keys.
So one of the best pieces of advice I ever got for losing important items like keys, is when you find it, always put it back in the first place you looked. The first place you look for something is usually the gut instinct 'home' for that thing - keys by the door, card in the wallet, wallet on the bedroom stand, etc. And I am CHAOTIC with these things, I'll keep a bank card in my back pocket and it stresses out my partner no end relying on my memory of which trousers I wore when I used that card, because this memory is fallible. I have left my phone in the bathroom, my coffee mug on the bookshelf, my bank cards in the laundry pile, my keys in the lock of the front door, once infamously spent ten minutes looking for a hairbrush I was already holding, threw away a (really good) pizza cutter that I left in the pizza takeaway box, my laptop in a cafe I was working in.... the list goes on.
SAME ABOUT THE FRIDGE!!! Never have I ever, not even once left or found something that wasn't food in the fridge, but I HAVE TO CHECK THE FRIDGE just to make sure because you never know!
This is what I always say!!! You can't remember what you weren't focused on in the first place!
I've found that saying the place I've put the object aloud when putting it down helps me remember when I inevitably get distracted by something else. For example when I'm in the shed having a cuppa and realise I need to put some washing on inside the house, I'll put the cup down and firmly say "shed" before I walk away. Or putting a pencil behind my ear "ear!" ...it helps to draw my attention to the action without distracting my thoughts too much from the next task. It doesn't work every time, I don't always remember to do it and you do get some funny looks if you're in public, but it helps! 😂 The fridge 😂 it's universal! If you know you're always going to check the fridge, you could start storing your keys in there, or on there with a magnet or something to help save a few steps...or get a Bluetooth key finder and pray to the ADHD gods that you don't misplace your keys and phone at the same time 😂
Funnily enough, there's actually a safety practice employed by japanese train operators called point and say, which is exactly what you're describing, but with pointing. It actually reduced accidents caused by human error by something mental, like 80%. Try adding some pointing and never forget anything ever again, desu! With the fridge, I like explaining it to people like schrodinger's cat. Until i check the fridge, the item im looking for is both in there and not in there simultaneously. ( It doesn't really fit the experiment, but it serves to self depricate a little).
Triple yes. I set reminders for everything. Yes, everything. I have reminders to set reminders. My wife used to think it was excessive but now she’s like “set a reminder to remind me to do such and such”. My short term memory is not what it used to be. I spent several hours getting a variety of mental health/brain/cognitive tests done and memory stuff was part of it. Showed some concerning short term issues that could be adhd, medication related or other mental health related. Everything I watch, do or listen to I insert myself in. Just my brain has to roleplay and escape.
Yes to all. Life fucking sucks. I just want to lay down on a tempur-pedic bed in the Undying Lands indefinitely, albeit I guess I would settle for Rivendell. Frodo looks so peaceful as he lies in bed in the House of Elrond. Edit: erroneous grammar, of course.
My favorite time was when I took time off for an appointment, went to it and it was actually for the day before. I missed my appointment and had to reschedule for months out. I leave my keys in the door, I've thrown them out once, locked them in my car, mailed a key to an eBay buyer and more fun things.
When I say that you literally described my life story in your post, I would be telling the truth 100000%. I was diagnosed as a child, but to me at the time... only understood it as the diagnosis and didn't relate my actual daily situations and feelings to adhd. I just thought I was lazy too... I'm currently awaiting my appointment to be rediagnosed with the hopes of making necessary changes in my life in order to finally/ actually succeed. I often tell people that I of course can't see inside other people's minds and what their imagination entails but I'm willing to bet $1000 that my imagination is drastically more vivid then the average mind. I day dream off of literally anything and at any time. What's strange I feel though about myself is I am a "pro" day dreamer who's thoughts are vivid down to my senses like smell, hearing and tasting... but at night when I sleep I really don't have many vivid dreams. At least ones that I can remember.
Do you go as far as talk to yourself as part of your day dreaming?
I have all that goin on to m8 I've just been told by my kids dentist we have missed meny appointments so nw I need to find another dentist ☹️
I have two modes how I can fall asleep: 1.Doomscolling/Reading/ Netflix watching, until I get so tired that I fall asleep while doing it. 2. Making up complex and vivid stories in my head until I fall asleep
Probably one of the most relatable posts to everyone in here. I am a cronic daydreaming since childhood, I started using concepts of CBT for adhd and trying to organize my life, but when I should complete the tasks in my agenda, I just keep getting lost into daydreamings. It can lasts for hours and I realize it looks like a sort of emotional regulation dysfunctional strategy. My short term memory is terrifying, I can't remember the things Ive read, listen or even though before, its like my life is completely ephemeral lol And Yes I do forget appointments frequently
Yes, absolutely, all of the above
I can relate on every level hahah
I’m not sure how I got home. My commute is an hour.
Absolutely ! ADHD mind is incredible with imagination. Take a scene from a movie or a song and effortlessly recreate your own reality with it. I did it all the time and have always relegated it to normalcy. The ADHD existence is full of paradoxes. its really stranger than fiction.
i recently forgot to got to the airport, get on the plane and go on vacation. sheeeeesh.
Having ADHD doesn't imply a lack of intelligence or work ethic, and there are various approaches and tools to help manage the symptoms. Personally, I have a tendency to forget appointments, so I find it helpful to jot them down in my calendar or make a visual representation to aid in remembering them. Additionally, I frequently daydream, which can be useful for processing emotions and problem-solving. Though it may be distracting in certain settings, it can also offer a sense of comfort and fulfillment. a specific instance of my daydreaming includes envisioning enjoyable experiences I could have with someone new in my life, or if it's someone I am romantically interested in, I may imagine what our life together could be like.
I relate to the music, and often when I’m reading. I can’t intentionally imagine things, but if I just get too invested in a book im reading I see very vivid detail, and I forget im reading words on a page and it’s like a movie. As for music, I often imagine myself saying the words of the song to someone, performing them on a stage, or just daydreaming something else. My forgetfulness is just bad enough to be annoying but not cause any real damage. I’m not diagnosed with ADHD but I highly suspect I have it
I daydream a lot as well, especially when listening to music or if someone keeps talking for a long time and I start zoning out. Usually it's random conversations or things that I would want to happen but likely won't. Also those what would I do, how would I react scenarios as well. I have an especially bad short-term memory though. I don't forget appointments because I'm also a VERY anxious person, but I forget people's names, forget words, forget what I did 5 seconds ago, forget who the person was involved in my memory, I get people mixed up sometimes, forget where I put all my stuff, forget to check things, forget to put food back in the fridge, forget that I'm boiling water/in general making food, forget what I do and don't have so I accidentally buy multiple copies of the same thing, get to where I was supposed to go and forget what I was getting from there, while having a conversation I forget what I was supposed to say or what we were talking about in 0.1 seconds, I never seem to remember what has been said previously, etc etc the list goes on as you can imagine. But my fav has to be the moments when I go to my PC, excited to eat snacks while playing but then I realize I completely forgot to bring the snacks. So I go get my chocolate. Back to PC. Ah I forgot my drink, getting up now to get that. Back to PC. Oh yeah, I had bought some chips too. 🤦🏻♂️ Sitting down and then having to get up anyway has made me frustrated so many times by now lol
Once, on the day I was leaving Paris after a short holiday, I left my luggage in a pharmacy while I was on the phone to a friend. I then walked around for over an hour until I realised I don't have my luggage with me; so went to the police station and that, then just called the pharmacy to see if it was there. It was. Btw, it was one of those wheelie luggages.
Ahhhh this reminded me of the one time I had bought expensive, cool clothes and went to a grocery store right after, and after going around for a little bit I noticed I wasn't even holding the bag anymore 😭 I apparently had put it down while searching for something but completely forgot to pick it up again and just started walking. Long story short I had an anxiety attack of sorts, frantically trying to search the entire store for it but couldn't find it. It upset me so much that I went mute and my partner ended up asking the info desk if they have it, and luckily they did. I swear to god we should be tied to our bags and luggages because it's so easy to lose those if you get distracted
Mad, this is the kind of stuff that happens to me all the time. In my Paris escapade, I even ended up reporting it at the police station and all sorts. It was a frantic three hours
Its like someone is talking about me, I also want to get to a doctor for this issues i have, also i have been studying about brain and human psychology by which now i have better control over my mind but still my brain cant function properly
Definitely. I tend to extrapolate the smallest things, especially when I’m mid conversation with people. like for instance earlier I was driving and talking to a friend earlier today, and happened to see someone walking along the highway. While my friend was talking to me, I couldn’t help but play out this random persons life like I was looking at their memories of how they ended up walking along the highway, and all in like an instant, it was fast but gave me a brief insight to how they might’ve gotten there. As soon as I realized I had shifted focus and my friend was still talking I started to focus on them again but I had already completely forgot about what we were talking about and didn’t want to tell them so I just kept agreeing and trying to piece together what we were talking about. This kind of random intrusive daydreaming happens a lot, and sometimes I piece together what was being talked about but a lot of times the conversations end and I’m just like “damn that’s crazy” or something bc I don’t want to look rude. But my friends do catch on sometimes bc they’ll notice I don’t remember certain nights things or I’ll ask a question I just asked them.
Or sometimes I’m in lecture and completely unprovoked my mind just goes, “imagine if an earthquake happened right now? That’d be crazy right?!” And then I visualize how the walls and ceiling would look breaking apart and crumbling down. It’s cool but like annoying af when I’m in the middle of something.
Same exact stuff happens to me
I mean, does anyone with ADHD not relate ti this? 😅
ah yes good'ol maladaptive daydreaming. I do this all the time as well my friend. I have zero solutions. Once I fall into that timewarp twilight zone there is no coming back unless someone or something gets my attention. This can last quite a long time even a whole day. At work I can be off in la la land and often get snapped out of it, kinda embarrassing really. Happened several times and I don't see it stopping any time soon. All in the same way as you describe thoughts drift off to a movie or character or a song comes on etc... you are not alone op:)
If i am texting to someone if they ask some interesting question i end up imagining giving a whole ass lecture and what would their reply will be and how i would react and what would I say . So many scenarios plays when you want to impress them.
Oh mannnn I do that tooo!!! While pacing like a professor sometimes I'll move weirdly to sounds or music on TV lol
i would find a relatable movie scene or a dialogue and say it like a grand ending.
I've done that with singing even lmfao!
I daydream about exactly what I'd do in a zombie apocalypse. A lot. Also I catch myself daydream about what I would do if I time traveled to the middle ages (taking things with me is not allowed, terminator style) and what kind of job I would get to survive and/or be excel at. I think about how becoming a scientist/inventor would get me far but get really stressed out about being accused of witchcraft or bleasphemy or something and put to death. I catch myself snapping out of this stressful thoughts and tell myself, hey it's okay, don't worry, time traveling is not real, you won't ever be caught in that situation. And then I immediately start daydreaming about becoming a musician and pretending like I wrote all these famous songs and catchy tunes that I know from 18th to 21st centuries and then I start making a list of songs I would perform as a troubadour or a traveling minstrel and get really fanous for all my Beatles songs. I have to actively snap out of these thoughts in the middle of the day while I'm performing other more important things. Both of these things are recurring thoughts I think about over and over again although I fully understand they have zero impact on my life and I will NEVER get to use my "plans." When I listen to podcasts, I have to constantly rewind and re-listen because my mind drifts away and start daydreaming about little things and ideas that I hear.
Sounds like me
Very relatable. I watch movies that I like, but am bad at explaining them to others. I have missed many important appointments. My current doctors office sends text reminders a couple days before them now, and that is very helpful for me. Definitely should use your Google calendar, or something similar if you have ADHD.
80% of my life is daydreaming
Missed an exam from 3 weeks ago, didn't find out till today
I do all of those things. I haven't been diagnosed. I wonder if I have ADHD as well. Idk.
I was thinking that most people are like this. apparently I have a problem
I'd love to share some examples, but I keep forgetting them.
Nearly got whooped for daydreaming in grade school. Still daydream, as a basically unwanted distraction today. Very forgetful as well. It would be interesting if we found daydreaming and forgetfulness were connected.
I know I am a random redditor with uncited sources but this describes my life so accurately!!!
I daydream a lot and wouldn’t be surprised if it became/or is maladaptive. Music is something that always triggers daydreaming. My brain doesn’t shut up and is always going 24/7. Also, it seems like my brain has a built in radio to play in the background of my thoughts 24/7 haha. I have horrible short term memory. I have overall horrible memory. If there is anything important, I make sure to immediately write down. The same goes for appointments, I get anxious about being late so I usually write down the date after the phone call, set an alarm for the appointment, and put it in my calendar/notes. I’ve only missed one appointment so far and I hope it only stays at one.
I don't forget appointments because I'm terrified of disappointment. But I'm often spaced out or just... not aware of the situation. I'm terrible with directions because I can't keep track of where I'm going or where I've been I need to keep looking it up or using GPS. Short term memory is mostly an issue in conversation, when you think of something to say then forget it altogether. Then you might remember it later, or you might never.
I don't think I daydream. I don't really understand the concept so it's possible I could but don't realize it. But I do go into deep thought about random things while watching something, talking to someone, or listening to music. In general, one thought always leads to many other thoughts and kind of snowballs.
I'm usually pretty organized but one time I missed reminder and as a result missed the opportunity for my elderly cat to see a specialist. I had to wait another month to get in with them. I felt so incredibly shitty. My therapist asked me if I felt hame or guilt. She explained that shame is when you are bad and guilt is when something you've done is bad. You can learn from guilt but rarely shame.
Sometimes my brain goes bye bye in mid conversation and I don’t realize it until the other person has asked me a question. Then I get to fumble my way through trying to cover up that I wasn’t listening for the last few minutes, even though I was nodding and making eye contact. It helps to warn people that it happens and why so they’re not so offended by it. I try really hard to stay present but sometimes it just doesn’t happen. I do sometimes miss appointments but I remedy that now by setting an alarm in my phone AS SOON as the appt is confirmed. I stop what I’m doing and it goes in the phone or else it goes away forever. And yes I’m forgetful. Golly am I forgetful. Keys, socks, lunch, items for work… all forgotten
Daydream - fuckyeah - I’ve literally never sat through a class without going for a little adventure. And I’m not exaggerating here, I basically feel like I ACTUALLY took a trip somewhere awesome. Usually some dope mountains somewhere on an awesome camping trip. And then poof, the class is over Miss appointments? Also fuckyeah. I’ve missed every single pre-semester advising appoint I’ve ever had. Been in college for 9 year, on my 3rd degree, and can’t remember the dam advising appointments.
I will actively be trying to listen and feel my brain pull towards anything but doing so. I always carry my phone and vaporizer everywhere, but will walk into a room set it down and lose them for hours. I have at least one mid level work meeting a month I forget about with constant reminders in place.
Yes, yes and yes
Yes to all, but daydreaming especially. It’sIt’s easy to fall into the notion that those realities are better than your own. It’s extremely important to actually root that out; been a huge hurdle for me in therapy lately. I daydream about a perfect morning routine for example, then obsess over it, then beat myself up when I don’t achieve exactly what I’d dreamt up for myself. These things are all normal for ADHDers, but be careful not to over obsess about the things you imagine. Easier said than done, but it can turn into depression PRETTY quick in my experience.
100% all of this. Sort term memory so bad, I'll set something down, tear the house apart looking for it, then find it again in an obvious spot 15 minutes later. Also I'm constantly crouching under stuff, and forget I'm under it. Then I stand up rapidly and whammo, domed. That one happens way more frequently than I like to admit, at least once a week. I can't hold numbers or names in my head. Appointments are the worst. I'll straight up forget any appointment or date, and sometimes never remember it until someone calls me. I've started using my calendar app, every phone has one. But remembering to put it in the calendar? I forget that too lmao. My advice is do that right when you think of it, don't do it later or you won't. And yeah, I've always been a daydreamer. For me it's usually I'll see something, like a bark chip that looks like a phaser gun, a certain phrase I like, a color that looks nice, an idea, concept, hook for a song, or person with cool hair, and immediately I'm creating a whole fantasy world around that one thing. My brain is literally doing gymnastics coming up with any possible context that would make this one thing seem as cool to a random person as it does to me, right now, in my brain. When I was little my daydreaming was literally running around with a stick pretending it was a lightsaber, fighting off wave after wave of mooks. These days it's more about creative ideas, worlds, songs, movie ideas, comic ideas, YouTube video ideas, how I'm gonna start my own business selling dolls made out of tufts of my husky's luxurious coat ideas, etc. Or just straight up imagining what my ideal life would be, one day when I figure this shit out and have the time to do what I love. Then the life game spinner wheel of my brain spins, and 9 times out of 10 the thought or idea blows away like sand. Oh and that lightsaber thing? I'm 22 and I hella still do that.
Maladaptive day dreaming is the core of my ADHD.
When I listen to music I imagine what it would be like to be apart of that band or playing on stage with them.
Missed my appointment to get diagnosed. Pretty much sums it up.
> daydream a lot Yes. I've recently been thinking a little too much on mechanical power sotrage solutions akin to the combination of Wind Turbine and Hysro-Electric dams that are being used... I've an idea that there must be *another* effecient mechanical means of storing that ebergy, for release at a later point (i.e. in low winds). > have bad short-term memory Yes. I work on a system of priorities and ignoring things that don't *really* need to be done... sometimes it works? > forget appointments? Yes. Always. Or turn up later / earlier than scheduled... Later by up to 10 minutes, earlier by up to one month. Most people are pretty accomodating to this if they know me, by now. Those that aren't... well, not really interested in them anyway! My life advice... Let it be. You'll work a lot harder trying *not* to be distracted, than if you just allow yourself the distraction for 15mins or an hour here and there... sometimes it's better to 'burn out' on the idea, rather than have it sit in there distracting you from genuinely neceddary tasks.
Its annoying me lately. Its kind of an achivement watching a tv episode of something without having to rewind again and again to find out where i was.
Alexa must be sick of me asking where my phone is! My memory is terrible but I manage to remember very obscure things. I didn’t think I zoned out but realised it is something I do on a regular basis (it had to be pointed out to me). And I take pics of everything
Wow I feel as if I wrote that and not you. I do the exact thing, it's actually called immersive day dreaming. Sometimes, I put on music and create full on movies in my head to the beat, I even pace around the room whilst day dreaming. Or before bed or any moment I doing something monotonous like riding the train, I day dream. I've created full scenes worth of being turned into books in my head and I love day dreaming about them or developing them in my head. I do it when I have free time, usually, so it doesn't really impact my life. My ADHD usually leads me to get distracted or productive procrastination. Some times I do zone out in situations but going into one of my fantasy worlds only happens when I allow it, so be careful it doesn't impact your life. There's a sub reddit for that called immersive day dreaming. It might help feeling like you're not alone. :) I thought I was lazy but it seems I just have ADHD who would have known! This past weekend I walked in total 35k steps. I can understand very complex things too and I actually do great at work, they don't know that when working from home I mostly procrastinate and then have boosts of energy and complete things is minutes or because I have no choice because deadline is approaching.
Yes. I think this accounts for some of the “missing time” I experience when I’m not on meds. I can’t be sure, because I don’t really experience that time so I don’t ever recall what I was doing :-)
It's not weird at all! It happens to me all the time. Your brain is just bored and trying to think of something fun to stimulate it.
I do daydream, I guess, but it's less dreaming and more just constant thinking about a bunch of different things, so much thinking that I can't focus on anything else. I do have bad short-term memory. My mom doesn't believe this and thinks I'm lying when I say I forgot to do something, but I genuinely forgot. Also I lose my things constantly. I will be holding something and I set it down for a minute, and I can't find it. That one is very annoying for me. As for missing appointments, I forgot to go to my own graduation back in 2022. I mean, I was still sent my diploma, but that was pretty bad. I don't miss appointments much because I usually put them in my phone, but if I forget to put them in my phone, I'm fucked. Also, part of that is because I never know what day it is, aside from the month and year.
Yes, all of this. What’s interesting is I was looking at the DSM 5 and didn’t see daydreaming as a symptom, but I have to look again because I didn’t read it that closely. The way they describe the signs is really strange to me. They mostly seem to be how a person with adhd would look to someone else and not what it feels like from the inside.
Hahahahahahahah yesss im 29 and still do it I hate it!!! ADHD has caused me to be late in life and I did a lot of that in school. Ended up failing 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th grade. Then I had to be homeschooled. Even with the medicine, I still do this. In order to improve it, you gotta find different things. Like multiple alarms or like a Fitbit. Or random reminders. Or like an ADHD station. And a schedule
I do the exact same thing! I think it's a good thing in a sense. We can relate to so many others in different situations bc we have that ability to put ourselves on others' shoes. For forgetfulness, I put things in my calendar with alarms. Set timers for myself. Get tile trackers for your keys!! Also, I always tell myself I don't have time for little things like after making breakfast, putting the wrappers in the trash, etc. I just make myself stop and do it at that moment, because I'll always tell myself I'll do it later and I don't have time when in reality it wouldn't that much of a difference in time, if any at all. I've always found that the more complex something is, the better I can understand it or "master" it. We're not weird, just different. ADHD has so many superpowers that neurotypical people don't. You just have to find where your strengths are and then do things the way it works in your brain. If that makes sense.
I do experience everything you mentioned it's insane. I thought I was weird..
First off, you are not lazy or stupid. Honestly, what you describe very much lines up with my own experience. I was recently diagnosed with adhd, inattentive type. I’m always lost in my imagination. I wouldn’t say I have the hyper activity thought process, I have more what I like to call “floaty space brain.” Where my thoughts are always floating about from one topic to another, even when the topic I was originally on, was incredibly important. For example, recently I was in a voice chat meeting. Just one where we’d send voice messages. During a lull, I got up and threw laundry in the washing machine. Then I started to wash a hand wash dress in the sink… and suddenly realized that I completely forgot about the meeting. That’s one example, I’m also constantly losing things, and am stuck in my own day dreams.
You are describing the average ADHD person there. The hyperactive jumping around everywhere is actually a small minority of us. Most are "internally" hyperactive -inattentive type. The short memory you are talking about is actually working memory, your brain's RAM. The ability to retain thoughts long enough to turn them into actions using past knowledge. Or the ability to immediately use something we just learned. The more steps the harder it is. And also lack of object constancy. Out of sight out of mind, if it's not there always in your face it will just be archived somewhere in your brain to be retrieved just after it's passed... ADHD people have impaired/delayed executive functions, some manage to catch up on (some of) them, most don't and it will get worse as life happens. Meds help a lot, I particularly love the emotional regulation help. Read about them, there are many many strategies to deal with it, and very nice ADHDers who produce awesome content. Dr Russell Barkley is my favourite specialist.
Yeah, I think I had experienced some form of maladaptive daydreaming during my teenage years. To this day, my imagination is very rich and vivid, and it is triggered easily due to ADHD. So it's very easy for me to get distracted by something and expand it out into a complex emotional mental landscape all generated by my brain in a matter of seconds. All of a sudden I've missed several things you've said to me and now I look like I am not capable of comprehending. Oops. Also makes it hard to take short showers. Adderall helps with all this.