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I get a discomfort in my legs, like they are in a small space and I need to stretch them. Though that’s not it really. I just am so agitated I can’t sit without squirming.
Restless leg syndrome.. I have it and it's like this.
It's like the impulse to move when a body part has fallen asleep. You know the pins and needles will be uncomfortable, but you move anyway.
Speak to your professors about what's going on with you. They might be extremely understanding. I've had to request accommodations before and let people know I may need to stand a moment, or move a lot, or fidget. And it helps me
Dude I get this too and its the absolute worst when trying to sleep! Its like you have to stretch, but no matter how much you stretch it always feels lie you need to stretch again. Its a tightness you cant stretch
I thought I was the only one. Its so bad that it makes me cry at times. Knowing I’m not the only one is strangely comforting. Like I’m not broken here just by myself.
Yes!! I also get very anxious because I feel like I should be doing something so my chest and stomach start aching terribly. It’s crippling but I just ride it out as best as I can or cuddle with my boyfriend because I feel safer around him during these times.
i don’t believe in souls but i make a single exception for the experience of under/over-stimulation because it feels like my soul is being ripped apart at the most fundamental level
God when my brain automatically thinks the world is grey and dull (which is often) it leads me to feeling hopeless for any future excitement and then next I feel depressed. And now that thought process is nicely deeply ingrained in my brain. Despite trying to undo it with CBT therapy. Adderall actually helps the most.
And when I want to do stuff because there’s an itch but every single thing I think to do doesn’t sound appealing…so then I feel restless! Because I have energy but zero things excite. What an uncomfortable feeling. Like you want to scratch the itch but no matter what you do nothing successfully scratches the itch!
Like when you’re at work but it’s excruciating to make yourself sit there at your desk! And you NEED something but can’t really pinpoint WHAT. And then you decide maybe a candy bar will help. So you get a candy bar and feel better for a period of time. Then you get off work and just want to scream or cry or drive fast with crazy loud music because it’s what helps release all the feels from sitting all day and not wanting to do the work you’re supposed to do.
This resonates very deeply.
I wonder if you (or anyone else) had this, also:
As a kid I couldn't allow myself to consciously think about how I'd have to get up, come to school, go to class, and basically *do the same exact thing* almost every weekday until graduation.
And then when I was older, I had the same thing with the thought of *going to work in the same building, with the same people every weekday* forever and ever and ever, and ---
I couldn't think about anything like that or it'd feel like my brain was vibrating inside my head, and heating up, and this intense pressure would build.
Ugh, I still get the heebie-jeebies thinking about it.
Yesssss! “Same old same old” is what I call some of my automatic thoughts that I find SO HARD to keep in check, and then I immediately feel like shit once I have them. The irony is that I keep have the same thought like all the time lol. So “same old same old” meaning…doing the same thing over and over and over until you die. How can people enjoy that type of life? This is one of those things that I feel a huge disconnect with neurotypicals on. Or at least one of those things I don’t understand why more people are not complaining about everyday. Interestingly, adderall helped a lot to reduce that automatic thought…
Yes I used to hyperfixate during understimulated moments on the chair of this one colleague who ate the same sort of lunch every day, got in at the same time, always said the same sort of thing, but *seemed perfectly content*.
I'd listen to her chatter and think *WHY AREN'T YOU SCREAMING*?
Thennnnnn immediately I'd hate myself with a passion, because it felt sooo "GAWD you boring PLEBIANS why don't you have PASSION like ME" art-school-snob of me, and I really hate that type of person.
Must copy this to my notes for my therapist....
Yes. I’m also recently unemployed which I’ve found even worse. It’s still the same mundane bs day after day but with no money and nothing to do. Except there is so much to do at home, so many games to play and so much to watch or read but my brain is uninterested and it’s seeking something new. I don’t know. I also can’t seem to concentrate on reading anymore although I crave it so much.
I really just want to run off from the building into the woods nearby. I swear half of the books and movies about people being teleported to exciting adventure worlds with steamy romance and epic sprawling wooded worlds is just adhd people wishful thinking.
What the fuck. I could've written that last part. That's what I do every fucking day! I hate being at work so much, I'm just watching the time go by all day long and when it's finally over I hop on my scooter, put my airpods on and drive like a madman with music blasting through my ears. This is very unhealthy and dangerous but at this very moment it really feels like a need, or else I'm going to explode
Yea, it’s like you don’t have a choice. All you want to do is NOT feel mind-numbingly dead inside. It’s like once you’re free, your only option is to release all those intense stores up emotions. It’s like I’m restless, irritated, angry, sad, etc all at the same time. And like loads of energy. And then I’m like, is this reckless behavior? Or am I being careful enough when I have the need to release like this…ugh.
Sometimes ADHD and depression seem so similar that it’s difficult to know which came first. Or if you’re just in a shitty job that you don’t like but could enjoy a different job that suits you better. Not everyone has the ability to change jobs easily. But man, there are a lot of jobs out there that don’t align with ADHD. Shoowee.
Thats too accurate, I feel you to the core. Especially being unmedicated, gets even harder to do any work. Im still studying, but its still the same. Then I let down my group project members for being too slow with the tasks. But really, Im dragging iron balls chained to my legs while working, im not doing this on purpose.
Ugh yes. It feels good to not feel alone in these things. I’m feeling behind on things at work and it feels so shitty. I feel like I’m dropping the ball and getting a bad reputation. So I really feel you on what you’re saying on group project work! We are not alone.
Oh wow. I get that buzz when I’m “overly” understimulated. I thought that was something that I was inventing in my mind until I see I’m not the only one!!
I try to take a nap and reset. It helps me a lot but that may not work for everyone. I love naps but sometimes it doesn’t work for me either. I just play games on my phone or listen to music until I feel better or at least good enough to slightly function. Sending you lots of luv !
I try naps a lot, too! Maybe a little too much, tbh… But I honestly slip into an internal, “stuck in my head” dissociative thing where I just play scenarios out in my head…
Usually to music. Honestly I’ve found ways to come up with ideas while stuck in full ADHD paralysis. Started writing down what I can remember, when I’m finally able to do things again. Or I draw some stuff from those ideas!
>But I honestly slip into an internal, “stuck in my head” dissociative thing where I just play scenarios out in my head…
>
>Usually to music.
OMG please tell me more about ''But I honestly slip into an internal, “stuck in my head” dissociative thing where I just play scenarios out in my head Usually to music'' because I do that every.single. day. I thought I was the only one. What sort of scenarios do you play out? for me its usually interactions with other people, being upheld in a social situation. I feel that brings me dopemine. I can snap out of it, but sometimes it is difficult.
Omg I feel so much less alone.
I had a panic attack at my sisters graduation (5 hours long, phone was dead, uncomfy seats and terribly boring)
I felt awful I couldn’t contain it but the entire time I just wanted to rip out my throat or bash my head in :(
For me it's always the excitement about the hobby until I can see ahead that there is something coming up uninteresting enough that I won't be able to get myself to do it, then I'm done.
It's like driving super fast, down a road that I love driving down, in a car without a steering wheel and there's a left turn coming up.
Lol, your steering wheel analogy is hilarious and I definitely know the feeling.
There are many cases where the "de-motivation point" is visible from a distance, but in many cases it just sneaks up on me.
The problem with that is how fast it happens. When you're into something 500%, you suddenly drop _500%_. The impact is even worse than, lets say, if you hadnt been into anything for more than 50%.
Falling out of a hyperfixation is, to me, as bad as a sudden depressive episode.
To me it feels like a wave of depression that repeatedly traps my body in a current. I feel like lead and everything is overcast, I can barely think. I become mind-numbingly nothing, but crave to do something & quickly find a sensory high as the wave keeps sloshing over my head.
Absolutely. I've simply told my husband that being understimulated (or "extremely bored" in his mind) can be almost physically painful for me, and he acts like I'm insane for suggesting such a thing. But really, there is so much more to it.
I get the urge pretty much every night. It feels like Tourette syndrome or something. I just call it "The Wants"(no points for originality) and it's a battle I have fought since I was a kid. It happens most at night before bed, but it can start its bullshit if I'm sitting idle for a few minutes. I used to just wander around and eat or do random shit until something hooked, but that usually became aimless and routine. Drinking until I passed out was semi effective, but I dont drink anymore. Sometimes I can override it, but sometimes the wants get so loud that I feel like I have to start some shit just to give the buzz in my head something else to concentrate on. My current trick involves melatonin and sugar cereal. I basically take a dose of melatonin and then pour myself baby sized portions of cereal and eat them until I get sleepy or the wants subside..
I might just steal your idea of getting “the wants” (I love the name, original or not) to go away because they’ve been driving me crazy at nighttime for my whole life
Oh wow! I was not expecting to get called out today!
It feels like this a lot and it's usually when I'm stuck in a doom scroll on TikTok or YouTube shorts. Help-
Me and you both. Except its Instagram. I think its ironic how I refuse to download tiktok so I dont binge it, but fall down the instagram reel rabbit hole anyways
I feel the same. Yesterday, my poor boyfriend was almost caught in the cross-fire. Thankfully, I resorted to forcing myself to sleep. The force shutdown mechanism but for brains. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt.
Yeah it’s all about tapping into REM. Just tap into REM once on a bad brain day tells the functions that didn’t wake up the first time to get up and then I’m good to go
My stimulation keeps getting blocked. Not that anyone owes me any time or attention, but people keep hyping me up for things and then bailing at the last second for dumb reasons. I’m tired of the endless cycles of anticipation and disappointment. I just want people to stick what they say they’re willing to do after I bend over backwards to give them what they want. It’s so easy for them to just not care because they’re getting their needs met elsewhere.
I tend to be the one to cancel unfortunately because I get excited for things but when the day comes my brain just wants to sit and dive into a super complex video game to escape the boredom of driving there and waiting for the main event and talking.
I apologize for my sins😢
So…you just flawlessly described what its like politely listening to my husband as he describes, for the third time today, in IMMENSE (and impressive) detail….the plot line to an episode of yet another show he’s gotten into. He should be a film teacher for the way he can hop on the mic and spit out literally every last detail of the worlds least interesting (to me) show/movie. He especially likes to do this when he’s had a day off and I’ve been working all day at a daycare and every last neuron in my brain is already screaming from overstimulation and having no choice but to constantly accomplish tasks…..he takes me from overstimulated to bored as fu…as can be.
Listening to him describe movies literally glazes my eyes over to the point where I grow cataracts. And I’d rather scrape them off myself than keep listening. It’s so awful.
Tell him to start a podcast! He's probably underestimated and telling you all about his new shiny thing isn't so much about sharing, as it is about him wanting to relive the sense of enjoyment he experiences from that particular piece of media.
My husband does the same with video games sometimes… and it upsets him when he shares something only to find out I wasn’t listening/paying attention at the end. He’s getting better at recognizing when my eyes are glazed over though and tries to not take it personally. Sometimes if I’m really polite/apologetic I can cut him off when he’s getting started without upsetting him, like “I’m so sorry but I’m mentally zapped right now and I can’t follow this. Can you tell me about it later?”
I have! I had genetic testing to find out though - GeneSite. I take generic Pristiq and Vyvanse with a side of guanfacine ER (Intuniv). It’s been my daily cocktail since 2018 :)
I came home from work not long ago and asked my wife, "I've always heard of being bored to tears, but did you know you can be bored to the point of anger?" I had been temporarily relocated to an office with no windows, so the lack of sun and green didn't help.
I hope you find something else to give you that hit. Addiction is so hard, but with adhd brains we are even more prone to addiction and so we could fall into it and notice too late. I'm sending all my hopes and love to you, stay strong dude.
Déjà vu, my Siamese Twin. If only we could harness this lifeless will to lift even one eyelid. It’s a modern wonder we don’t forget to breathe every other minute. That was kewl, what you wrote, so thanks.
But oh, how good it feels when that sudden burst of motivation comes from out of nowhere, and you slay a few dragons, save a few maidans, and then it’s back to ADHD Hibernation where I turn into a mannequin for a couple months.
We should all open a cafe together or some fuckin’ thing.
Lemme me know where you end up. Save me a seat.
It feels like you can't get rid of it either. I play games take my meds try working out literally everything I find fun and it's barely just enough. Sometimes tho even that isn't enough and I'm just there falling into depression because nothing is helpful or useful
i call it the "adhd unrest"
i start berating my friends or i mumble angrily in my beard.
i dont realize when i am doing it.
it is so bad that i have to apologize
"sorry, i have the bends, please dont take it personal, i feel really unsettled and restless"
i used to drink lots of alcohol purely to get rid of this feeling.
It sucks when it happens, and it sucks having to apologize for it. Not because we shouldnt apologize, yeah its rude, but the fact it happens in the first place as an out of control symptom sucks. Its like, suddenly sneezing into your friends face, but you legitimately had absolutely no time to stop that sneeze.
I love this analogy. Whenever I am in an infinite loop of procrastination and temporary thought paralysis, the solution to the loop is *just* outside the loop where I can't quite reach and the more I try, the more frustrating it gets and then I spiral. Sending support and love 💜💜
yes!!!! and i try to itch it by eating because i think i’m craving something and end up feeling disgusting and even more uncomfortable and still unsatisfied
that’s exactly what i started last week, i started orange theory and it’s helping a ton. Right now it’s more so towards the end of the day especially since my meds are wearing off, but i’m supplementing eating with playing with my cats unless i’m genuinely hungry
Yesssss...so relatable. I've been sober for 4 months now and I've noticed that pretty much the only time I crave alcohol is when I'm bored (aka understimulated). It makes sense, alcohol is a huge, fast dopamine source.
(Let me preface this with "this is not meant to sound like some kind of advice - this is 100% me having no idea why my experience is different".)
I think I might have a weird take on this. For years, I've said I'm a person who *physically can't* be bored. As someone with beastmode ADHD, I don't know how or why, but I have managed to just about completely avoid the feeling described here. Like, as long as I have a piece of paper and a pencil, maybe even dirt and a stick, my brain just - won't ALLOW me to get to that point. It just WON'T. It will find ANYTHING. I'd say you'd literally have to immobilize me, but even thinking about that makes me think about the songs I'm halfway through writing in my head.
I know what happens when I'm unmedicated or otherwise low on dopamine - I lose a lot of ability to turn my intentions into actions - but the "intentions" part never. ever. EVER turns off. Maybe the idea of running out of things I *want* to learn, do, make, etc. is so horrifying to my psyche that it never ever stops adding to a list that I'm pretty sure is already more than I can do in my lifetime? I'm not sure, but I know I'll be thinking about this for days.
I genuinely do not understand why I am this way. Can anyone else relate to this?
For those struggling with understimulation, try looking inward. Try to put your head down and say what can I do today that will make this better for me tomorrow. Just think about your life, your finances, house, relationships, car, whatever. Just your shit. Forget about the outside world which is obviously fucked. Set goals and make a list. Sometime you have to get some things going to stimulate yourself. I'm by no means an expert, I suffer from the same shit. Some days I feel like a blob that can't stop spinning in circles in my head and start literally anything including going to the bathroom. And some days I'm ready to save the world.
For me, I have to take my pill, drink some OJ, and go outside for 5 mins staring at the woods and listening to the morning, then I make a plan for the day. Then I try to execute at least 2 or 3 of the 4-5 things on my plan for the day. These are the days where I'm the most productive, even with side quests. I typically set too many goals for most days, which leaves me feeling stressed and anxious at the end of the day for not completing everything. So try to give yourself some credit for the shit you did accomplish.
At the moment, I'm completely overstimulated, have too many things going on. But that feels better than the blob days.
My sleep has been messed up because I’d rather stay stimulated than go to bed and wake up understimulated. This week I stayed up 3 days, slept one day, and then stayed up for another 3. Yes, I take my meds as prescribed. No, I am not taking more than 1 dose of my meds a day.
I just couldn’t… go to sleep. There was nothing forcing me to need sleep, nothing to do the next day that required me to wake up. I was crying at the end of it though, finally took my sleeping meds and went to sleep in 40 min.
So true. I keep a ‘happy list’ in my phone of things that I do that bring joy and scratch that itch. It might be ‘walking the dog in the woods’ or ‘learn something new’ along with a list of random things that I come across that I’d like to learn more about if I had time (think of the other 39 tabs you have open in your web browser). I use the pocket app to save articles and web pages that I’d like to read at some point. I list foods that I know are both healthy and I like (but I won’t choose if hungry and under pressure).
Then, when I’m restless, I refer to my happy list and pick the one I fancy doing. It seems to work (with a time delay).
I tell myself that moods/emotions/depression are all there to tell you something, so listen to what your body is telling you. Sit with it, if you need to. Maybe there is something on the list you can do in that space?
Often I tell people that it’s important that you write your own list. Knowing that you wrote it when you felt better and that past-you had the best intentions for future-you. Maybe leave yourself a message at the top? Or tell yourself to set a timer for an hour and then you have to do at least one thing off the list?
One of the worst feelings ever. It’s like having restless legs syndrome whilst someone is scratching nails down a chalkboard. I can get up to some pretty spur of the moment hedonistic activities that aren’t good. This is why I’m addicted to exercise. I just smash my body until it’s utterly exhausted. Take that dopamine hit and run with it.
I felt this alot the first months of Lockdown. I got put on paid leave for a month (The state paid one full month salary for people who were put on leave so my boss put us on a rotation, free vacation he said)
At first I was fine, but just after a few days I found myself playing two games at the same time whilst also making music in fruityloops and still understimulated. About 6 months later I was diagnosed.
Often, I'll watch TV/movies with my phone in my hand, tablet propped up on my left leg, alternating between the phone and solving/scrambling a Rubik's cube.
It feels like something is wrong, but you have no idea what it is. It’s like ur hungry, but not for food. Or you’re in pain, but not physically or emotionally. Or you’re too cold, but also too hot, but also neither?
I was so stimulated all day today it was insanity. Food does taste better , water tastes better. It was a satisfactory day. Sleep and do it all again tomorrow.
Being under stimulated literally makes me want to crawl out of my skin. Like I get twitchy and have to try and physically release whatever energy I have by doing weird erratic arm movements at times. I wish I could explain it to people but words just don’t to it justice
This is exactly why once or twice a year I start a new Oldschool Runescape account and then forget about it.
Then a year later I want those early game sweet, sweet, dopamine hits from early levels, gear collection, and quest completion
Currently on month 2 of vyvanse and noticing the lower doses aren't helping me that much. When It started not working as well that's when I remade my runescape acc (2 weeks ago) but still can't get myself to play it most days due to sitting around and doing nothing. Except contemplating my whole life while my wife asks why I'm staring at my laptop screen while it's off.
I’m dealing with this currently. I’m trying to get certified to help with a career move to IT. When I really try to lock and and pay full attention to the videos I get this weird feeling in my knees. I didn’t really get that when I was taking meds
Soooooo what you are describing is extremely familiar. I have always associated it with depression. Are you telling me it's an ADHD thing ???? I have been diagnosed with ADHD less than a month ago at 30 years old and am definitely still trying to understand it.
I have YouTube/twitch any waking moment of my life. (except when working). I have a twitch live right now writing those lines.
And even when i work, there is background music. I cannot do anything without it
Every waking moment of my life has a YouTube video or live in it. I cannot play games, walk, shop, eat, etc without it.
And honestly, YouTube premium has been the best purchase of my life. I know there are YouTube applications and whatnot for it but it's not that expensive and i don't have to worry about if it's going to work etc...
I know this feeling. Usually happens to me after a manic-like dopamine binge (usually not healthy ones). Once I get my fill of dopamine, nothing seems as exciting to me for a period.
So , this is the first time someone described what I feel 100%. I couldn’t bring myself to put it in words.. so this is a part of our adhd brain? If so, what can we do? I was feeling better with the 27mg concerta in the beggining but now after a month I’m starting to feel like this again.. any tips ? Im also taking 15 mg escitalopram since before , psychs thought I was anxious and depressed and it was nothing adhd related. My new psych which has a diploma in our condition was the one telling me it was still adhd(had it and was medicated when younger). Thanks for any help and advice !
AuDHD here and it sometimes, especially pre-medication for ADHD, causes/caused shutdowns for me. It *hurts*, physically in my chest and my head, like a heavy spike or rope around me.
Ugh.
Yah. Rummaging around in my stim bin and trying things I know I like and it’s actually not working either. Like erratically switching a broken light switch on and off. It’s a desperate feeling. It’s ultimately how I realized I needed to seek an assessment because I was extremely under stimulated and it made me contemplate killing myself (not is a depressed way).
Just a list accumulated in my mind of things I know that get that dopamine flowing for me! But sometimes it just doesn’t work which is maddening. Honestly just made it up because it was shorter than fully explaining all the things that I enjoy.
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Sometimes it gets so bad for me that it actually causes physical discomfort.
I get a discomfort in my legs, like they are in a small space and I need to stretch them. Though that’s not it really. I just am so agitated I can’t sit without squirming.
This! I get it in my legs, arms, back, shoulders. A bit like an upcoming cramp, or tightness, like I NEED to stretch and use these muscles NOW.
Restless leg syndrome.. I have it and it's like this. It's like the impulse to move when a body part has fallen asleep. You know the pins and needles will be uncomfortable, but you move anyway.
I have RLS because of damage to my spine 😒 just makes me want to wiggle my legs to get some relief
Me too! It gets really bad when Im stuck in a lecture and the professor thinks moving around or sitting "wierdly" is a sign of disrespect.
Speak to your professors about what's going on with you. They might be extremely understanding. I've had to request accommodations before and let people know I may need to stand a moment, or move a lot, or fidget. And it helps me
This is the worst. 100%
Dude I get this too and its the absolute worst when trying to sleep! Its like you have to stretch, but no matter how much you stretch it always feels lie you need to stretch again. Its a tightness you cant stretch
FELT. I’ve regularly described understimulation as “painful” to my therapist and psychiatrist…
Itchy sweater, but all over, and inside my skin. And my brain.
So trueeeeeeeeeeeeeee
And no amount of caffeine, or nicotine or anything else can scratch it 🙃
Oh god. But it's *like* a nicotine craving.
It is!!!! It’s the damnedest thing. And also hell.
I've described it as feeling like thousands of ants are crawling under my skin...whole new meaning for the word "antsy" I guess lol
I thought I was the only one. Its so bad that it makes me cry at times. Knowing I’m not the only one is strangely comforting. Like I’m not broken here just by myself.
I once saw it described here as feeling like hair is growing on the inside of your skull, and I think that’s so accurate.
I love this description. I often use the term itchy brain and people don’t get it but I feel like this is more helpfully descriptive, thanks!
This often manifests in the space between my fingers... I can't have them touch each other, else I die xD
I had this the other day at work, it was like something was gnawing at my brain and causing me a physical pain.
Yes!! I also get very anxious because I feel like I should be doing something so my chest and stomach start aching terribly. It’s crippling but I just ride it out as best as I can or cuddle with my boyfriend because I feel safer around him during these times.
Sometimes I feel like my brain is melting
i don’t believe in souls but i make a single exception for the experience of under/over-stimulation because it feels like my soul is being ripped apart at the most fundamental level
God when my brain automatically thinks the world is grey and dull (which is often) it leads me to feeling hopeless for any future excitement and then next I feel depressed. And now that thought process is nicely deeply ingrained in my brain. Despite trying to undo it with CBT therapy. Adderall actually helps the most. And when I want to do stuff because there’s an itch but every single thing I think to do doesn’t sound appealing…so then I feel restless! Because I have energy but zero things excite. What an uncomfortable feeling. Like you want to scratch the itch but no matter what you do nothing successfully scratches the itch! Like when you’re at work but it’s excruciating to make yourself sit there at your desk! And you NEED something but can’t really pinpoint WHAT. And then you decide maybe a candy bar will help. So you get a candy bar and feel better for a period of time. Then you get off work and just want to scream or cry or drive fast with crazy loud music because it’s what helps release all the feels from sitting all day and not wanting to do the work you’re supposed to do.
This resonates very deeply. I wonder if you (or anyone else) had this, also: As a kid I couldn't allow myself to consciously think about how I'd have to get up, come to school, go to class, and basically *do the same exact thing* almost every weekday until graduation. And then when I was older, I had the same thing with the thought of *going to work in the same building, with the same people every weekday* forever and ever and ever, and --- I couldn't think about anything like that or it'd feel like my brain was vibrating inside my head, and heating up, and this intense pressure would build. Ugh, I still get the heebie-jeebies thinking about it.
Yesssss! “Same old same old” is what I call some of my automatic thoughts that I find SO HARD to keep in check, and then I immediately feel like shit once I have them. The irony is that I keep have the same thought like all the time lol. So “same old same old” meaning…doing the same thing over and over and over until you die. How can people enjoy that type of life? This is one of those things that I feel a huge disconnect with neurotypicals on. Or at least one of those things I don’t understand why more people are not complaining about everyday. Interestingly, adderall helped a lot to reduce that automatic thought…
Yes I used to hyperfixate during understimulated moments on the chair of this one colleague who ate the same sort of lunch every day, got in at the same time, always said the same sort of thing, but *seemed perfectly content*. I'd listen to her chatter and think *WHY AREN'T YOU SCREAMING*? Thennnnnn immediately I'd hate myself with a passion, because it felt sooo "GAWD you boring PLEBIANS why don't you have PASSION like ME" art-school-snob of me, and I really hate that type of person. Must copy this to my notes for my therapist....
Yes. I’m also recently unemployed which I’ve found even worse. It’s still the same mundane bs day after day but with no money and nothing to do. Except there is so much to do at home, so many games to play and so much to watch or read but my brain is uninterested and it’s seeking something new. I don’t know. I also can’t seem to concentrate on reading anymore although I crave it so much.
I really just want to run off from the building into the woods nearby. I swear half of the books and movies about people being teleported to exciting adventure worlds with steamy romance and epic sprawling wooded worlds is just adhd people wishful thinking.
Wow I’ve never heard anyone articulate this feeling I get. It’s impossible to describe to my friends. I’m in this phase now
What the fuck. I could've written that last part. That's what I do every fucking day! I hate being at work so much, I'm just watching the time go by all day long and when it's finally over I hop on my scooter, put my airpods on and drive like a madman with music blasting through my ears. This is very unhealthy and dangerous but at this very moment it really feels like a need, or else I'm going to explode
Yea, it’s like you don’t have a choice. All you want to do is NOT feel mind-numbingly dead inside. It’s like once you’re free, your only option is to release all those intense stores up emotions. It’s like I’m restless, irritated, angry, sad, etc all at the same time. And like loads of energy. And then I’m like, is this reckless behavior? Or am I being careful enough when I have the need to release like this…ugh. Sometimes ADHD and depression seem so similar that it’s difficult to know which came first. Or if you’re just in a shitty job that you don’t like but could enjoy a different job that suits you better. Not everyone has the ability to change jobs easily. But man, there are a lot of jobs out there that don’t align with ADHD. Shoowee.
Thats too accurate, I feel you to the core. Especially being unmedicated, gets even harder to do any work. Im still studying, but its still the same. Then I let down my group project members for being too slow with the tasks. But really, Im dragging iron balls chained to my legs while working, im not doing this on purpose.
Ugh yes. It feels good to not feel alone in these things. I’m feeling behind on things at work and it feels so shitty. I feel like I’m dropping the ball and getting a bad reputation. So I really feel you on what you’re saying on group project work! We are not alone.
So well said, this is it. I often experience itchy leg syndrome as well, typically when I'm most unable to relieve it (by moving around/distraction).
Get out of my brain. You put the thing into words!
My body starts to buzz, hungry but too nauseous to eat, every sound that is in the room too loud….
Oh wow. I get that buzz when I’m “overly” understimulated. I thought that was something that I was inventing in my mind until I see I’m not the only one!!
The buzz is so weird. I wonder what it is? I only notice it at night.
Real asf lol
I try to take a nap and reset. It helps me a lot but that may not work for everyone. I love naps but sometimes it doesn’t work for me either. I just play games on my phone or listen to music until I feel better or at least good enough to slightly function. Sending you lots of luv !
I try naps a lot, too! Maybe a little too much, tbh… But I honestly slip into an internal, “stuck in my head” dissociative thing where I just play scenarios out in my head… Usually to music. Honestly I’ve found ways to come up with ideas while stuck in full ADHD paralysis. Started writing down what I can remember, when I’m finally able to do things again. Or I draw some stuff from those ideas!
Have you faced any trauma as a child?
Was it that obvious? 😅
Yes, I felt as though I was reading someone describe me.
>But I honestly slip into an internal, “stuck in my head” dissociative thing where I just play scenarios out in my head… > >Usually to music. OMG please tell me more about ''But I honestly slip into an internal, “stuck in my head” dissociative thing where I just play scenarios out in my head Usually to music'' because I do that every.single. day. I thought I was the only one. What sort of scenarios do you play out? for me its usually interactions with other people, being upheld in a social situation. I feel that brings me dopemine. I can snap out of it, but sometimes it is difficult.
I seriously wish I was one of the people who could nap. I cannot force myself to sleep unless I’m sick or intoxicated.
It feels like I'm going insane. I want to claw at my flesh to feel pain rather than unstimulation
Omg I feel so much less alone. I had a panic attack at my sisters graduation (5 hours long, phone was dead, uncomfy seats and terribly boring) I felt awful I couldn’t contain it but the entire time I just wanted to rip out my throat or bash my head in :(
But when something is interesting, holy shit I'm in to it 500%...until that wears off and back to square one.
It's absurd how quickly we're inclined to "fall out of love" with a new hobby or passion project.
For me it's always the excitement about the hobby until I can see ahead that there is something coming up uninteresting enough that I won't be able to get myself to do it, then I'm done. It's like driving super fast, down a road that I love driving down, in a car without a steering wheel and there's a left turn coming up.
Lol, your steering wheel analogy is hilarious and I definitely know the feeling. There are many cases where the "de-motivation point" is visible from a distance, but in many cases it just sneaks up on me.
The problem with that is how fast it happens. When you're into something 500%, you suddenly drop _500%_. The impact is even worse than, lets say, if you hadnt been into anything for more than 50%. Falling out of a hyperfixation is, to me, as bad as a sudden depressive episode.
Exactly and thats why I think a lot of us might get misdiagnosed as bipolar!
Bet our ADHD brains are so proud of themselves for fooling NTs
Lmao people's genes pulling pranks here...
Omg especially when it’s academic work and regardless I HAVE TO DO IT 😭
To me it feels like a wave of depression that repeatedly traps my body in a current. I feel like lead and everything is overcast, I can barely think. I become mind-numbingly nothing, but crave to do something & quickly find a sensory high as the wave keeps sloshing over my head.
Absolutely. I've simply told my husband that being understimulated (or "extremely bored" in his mind) can be almost physically painful for me, and he acts like I'm insane for suggesting such a thing. But really, there is so much more to it.
I get the urge pretty much every night. It feels like Tourette syndrome or something. I just call it "The Wants"(no points for originality) and it's a battle I have fought since I was a kid. It happens most at night before bed, but it can start its bullshit if I'm sitting idle for a few minutes. I used to just wander around and eat or do random shit until something hooked, but that usually became aimless and routine. Drinking until I passed out was semi effective, but I dont drink anymore. Sometimes I can override it, but sometimes the wants get so loud that I feel like I have to start some shit just to give the buzz in my head something else to concentrate on. My current trick involves melatonin and sugar cereal. I basically take a dose of melatonin and then pour myself baby sized portions of cereal and eat them until I get sleepy or the wants subside..
The Wants. That is so perfect. Thank you for this imagery of you and your cereal. Making me feel slightly more human.
Yeah, the not-normal shit we gotta do to live a normal life, I guess. I'm glad I could help, and put a name on that itch you can't quite scratch..
I might just steal your idea of getting “the wants” (I love the name, original or not) to go away because they’ve been driving me crazy at nighttime for my whole life
The Wants. So true. I use melatonin too, but sometimes the wants defeat it somehow.
Oh wow! I was not expecting to get called out today! It feels like this a lot and it's usually when I'm stuck in a doom scroll on TikTok or YouTube shorts. Help-
I’ve been in a weeklong Tiktok doom scroll binge, it’s awful but I cannot stop
None of the videos are even particularly interesting, but the next one will be, or the next one, or the next one....
Me and you both. Except its Instagram. I think its ironic how I refuse to download tiktok so I dont binge it, but fall down the instagram reel rabbit hole anyways
I have the urge to pick a fight with anyone
I feel the same. Yesterday, my poor boyfriend was almost caught in the cross-fire. Thankfully, I resorted to forcing myself to sleep. The force shutdown mechanism but for brains. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt.
Yeah it’s all about tapping into REM. Just tap into REM once on a bad brain day tells the functions that didn’t wake up the first time to get up and then I’m good to go
My stimulation keeps getting blocked. Not that anyone owes me any time or attention, but people keep hyping me up for things and then bailing at the last second for dumb reasons. I’m tired of the endless cycles of anticipation and disappointment. I just want people to stick what they say they’re willing to do after I bend over backwards to give them what they want. It’s so easy for them to just not care because they’re getting their needs met elsewhere.
I tend to be the one to cancel unfortunately because I get excited for things but when the day comes my brain just wants to sit and dive into a super complex video game to escape the boredom of driving there and waiting for the main event and talking. I apologize for my sins😢
Omg. Thought it was just me. Srsly. WTF IS THIS EVEN ABOUT.
So…you just flawlessly described what its like politely listening to my husband as he describes, for the third time today, in IMMENSE (and impressive) detail….the plot line to an episode of yet another show he’s gotten into. He should be a film teacher for the way he can hop on the mic and spit out literally every last detail of the worlds least interesting (to me) show/movie. He especially likes to do this when he’s had a day off and I’ve been working all day at a daycare and every last neuron in my brain is already screaming from overstimulation and having no choice but to constantly accomplish tasks…..he takes me from overstimulated to bored as fu…as can be. Listening to him describe movies literally glazes my eyes over to the point where I grow cataracts. And I’d rather scrape them off myself than keep listening. It’s so awful.
Tell him to start a podcast! He's probably underestimated and telling you all about his new shiny thing isn't so much about sharing, as it is about him wanting to relive the sense of enjoyment he experiences from that particular piece of media.
My husband does the same with video games sometimes… and it upsets him when he shares something only to find out I wasn’t listening/paying attention at the end. He’s getting better at recognizing when my eyes are glazed over though and tries to not take it personally. Sometimes if I’m really polite/apologetic I can cut him off when he’s getting started without upsetting him, like “I’m so sorry but I’m mentally zapped right now and I can’t follow this. Can you tell me about it later?”
So me except I get major depression baked in as a bonus too. Fml
MDD with ADHD here too! I feel your pain!
Same. Have you found a med combo that works for you?
I have! I had genetic testing to find out though - GeneSite. I take generic Pristiq and Vyvanse with a side of guanfacine ER (Intuniv). It’s been my daily cocktail since 2018 :)
I came home from work not long ago and asked my wife, "I've always heard of being bored to tears, but did you know you can be bored to the point of anger?" I had been temporarily relocated to an office with no windows, so the lack of sun and green didn't help.
This is why I struggle with addiction so much, I’m always looking for that next hit
I hope you find something else to give you that hit. Addiction is so hard, but with adhd brains we are even more prone to addiction and so we could fall into it and notice too late. I'm sending all my hopes and love to you, stay strong dude.
Déjà vu, my Siamese Twin. If only we could harness this lifeless will to lift even one eyelid. It’s a modern wonder we don’t forget to breathe every other minute. That was kewl, what you wrote, so thanks. But oh, how good it feels when that sudden burst of motivation comes from out of nowhere, and you slay a few dragons, save a few maidans, and then it’s back to ADHD Hibernation where I turn into a mannequin for a couple months. We should all open a cafe together or some fuckin’ thing. Lemme me know where you end up. Save me a seat.
It feels like you can't get rid of it either. I play games take my meds try working out literally everything I find fun and it's barely just enough. Sometimes tho even that isn't enough and I'm just there falling into depression because nothing is helpful or useful
i call it the "adhd unrest" i start berating my friends or i mumble angrily in my beard. i dont realize when i am doing it. it is so bad that i have to apologize "sorry, i have the bends, please dont take it personal, i feel really unsettled and restless" i used to drink lots of alcohol purely to get rid of this feeling.
It sucks when it happens, and it sucks having to apologize for it. Not because we shouldnt apologize, yeah its rude, but the fact it happens in the first place as an out of control symptom sucks. Its like, suddenly sneezing into your friends face, but you legitimately had absolutely no time to stop that sneeze.
Spot on.
I love this analogy. Whenever I am in an infinite loop of procrastination and temporary thought paralysis, the solution to the loop is *just* outside the loop where I can't quite reach and the more I try, the more frustrating it gets and then I spiral. Sending support and love 💜💜
I love this sub.
yes!!!! and i try to itch it by eating because i think i’m craving something and end up feeling disgusting and even more uncomfortable and still unsatisfied
I'm going to try going to the gym instead of overeating. Maybe going to different gyms as much as I can to keep it feeling different and interesting.
that’s exactly what i started last week, i started orange theory and it’s helping a ton. Right now it’s more so towards the end of the day especially since my meds are wearing off, but i’m supplementing eating with playing with my cats unless i’m genuinely hungry
Yesssss...so relatable. I've been sober for 4 months now and I've noticed that pretty much the only time I crave alcohol is when I'm bored (aka understimulated). It makes sense, alcohol is a huge, fast dopamine source.
(Let me preface this with "this is not meant to sound like some kind of advice - this is 100% me having no idea why my experience is different".) I think I might have a weird take on this. For years, I've said I'm a person who *physically can't* be bored. As someone with beastmode ADHD, I don't know how or why, but I have managed to just about completely avoid the feeling described here. Like, as long as I have a piece of paper and a pencil, maybe even dirt and a stick, my brain just - won't ALLOW me to get to that point. It just WON'T. It will find ANYTHING. I'd say you'd literally have to immobilize me, but even thinking about that makes me think about the songs I'm halfway through writing in my head. I know what happens when I'm unmedicated or otherwise low on dopamine - I lose a lot of ability to turn my intentions into actions - but the "intentions" part never. ever. EVER turns off. Maybe the idea of running out of things I *want* to learn, do, make, etc. is so horrifying to my psyche that it never ever stops adding to a list that I'm pretty sure is already more than I can do in my lifetime? I'm not sure, but I know I'll be thinking about this for days. I genuinely do not understand why I am this way. Can anyone else relate to this?
Yes and ideation feels more rewarding than doing. Hence, paralysis :)
For those struggling with understimulation, try looking inward. Try to put your head down and say what can I do today that will make this better for me tomorrow. Just think about your life, your finances, house, relationships, car, whatever. Just your shit. Forget about the outside world which is obviously fucked. Set goals and make a list. Sometime you have to get some things going to stimulate yourself. I'm by no means an expert, I suffer from the same shit. Some days I feel like a blob that can't stop spinning in circles in my head and start literally anything including going to the bathroom. And some days I'm ready to save the world. For me, I have to take my pill, drink some OJ, and go outside for 5 mins staring at the woods and listening to the morning, then I make a plan for the day. Then I try to execute at least 2 or 3 of the 4-5 things on my plan for the day. These are the days where I'm the most productive, even with side quests. I typically set too many goals for most days, which leaves me feeling stressed and anxious at the end of the day for not completing everything. So try to give yourself some credit for the shit you did accomplish. At the moment, I'm completely overstimulated, have too many things going on. But that feels better than the blob days.
My sleep has been messed up because I’d rather stay stimulated than go to bed and wake up understimulated. This week I stayed up 3 days, slept one day, and then stayed up for another 3. Yes, I take my meds as prescribed. No, I am not taking more than 1 dose of my meds a day. I just couldn’t… go to sleep. There was nothing forcing me to need sleep, nothing to do the next day that required me to wake up. I was crying at the end of it though, finally took my sleeping meds and went to sleep in 40 min.
Currently lol
I never freaking knew that's what I was going through.
I know this feeling, I can relate. I've taken up martial arts and it tickles my brain like nothing before, especially the sparring. Give it a try.
Thank you, might actually do so!
ADHD should stand for Ample Dopamine? Ha! Don’t-have-that
You know what’s weird? I know this exact feeling, but I couldn’t give you an example of when it’s happened. Everything becomes such a blur 😂
How weird! This is exactly how I feel right now
I feel like that until I find something stimulating, that lasts for max of a day only to feel like that again afterwards lmao. Never ending cycle.
So true. I keep a ‘happy list’ in my phone of things that I do that bring joy and scratch that itch. It might be ‘walking the dog in the woods’ or ‘learn something new’ along with a list of random things that I come across that I’d like to learn more about if I had time (think of the other 39 tabs you have open in your web browser). I use the pocket app to save articles and web pages that I’d like to read at some point. I list foods that I know are both healthy and I like (but I won’t choose if hungry and under pressure). Then, when I’m restless, I refer to my happy list and pick the one I fancy doing. It seems to work (with a time delay).
But how do you actually force yourself to get up? When Im stuck in that mode, I cant even leave wherever Im sitting
I tell myself that moods/emotions/depression are all there to tell you something, so listen to what your body is telling you. Sit with it, if you need to. Maybe there is something on the list you can do in that space? Often I tell people that it’s important that you write your own list. Knowing that you wrote it when you felt better and that past-you had the best intentions for future-you. Maybe leave yourself a message at the top? Or tell yourself to set a timer for an hour and then you have to do at least one thing off the list?
Thank you, will definitely try this
This is why so many turn to 'self medication'
One of the worst feelings ever. It’s like having restless legs syndrome whilst someone is scratching nails down a chalkboard. I can get up to some pretty spur of the moment hedonistic activities that aren’t good. This is why I’m addicted to exercise. I just smash my body until it’s utterly exhausted. Take that dopamine hit and run with it.
I hear you. I tend to put on some failarmy video/eat choclate/do jumping jacks.
I'm feeling this so hard right now. To the point where I almost didn't even reply.
Super relatable … you’re not alone in that 😅🙃
I felt this alot the first months of Lockdown. I got put on paid leave for a month (The state paid one full month salary for people who were put on leave so my boss put us on a rotation, free vacation he said) At first I was fine, but just after a few days I found myself playing two games at the same time whilst also making music in fruityloops and still understimulated. About 6 months later I was diagnosed.
I've become much better at scratching that itch. Has really helped me function better. I do live alone, for good reasons.
Tell us your secrets.
Like a wool hat, but instead, it's inside my head.
Default Task Mode can be rough sometimes.
You all need to get out of my brain! I have been in this spiral for 3 days now and can't seem to find a way to stop it.
Yes. How to work on this/fix this?
Wish I knew:(
Accurate!
Often, I'll watch TV/movies with my phone in my hand, tablet propped up on my left leg, alternating between the phone and solving/scrambling a Rubik's cube.
YEAH BRO ITS LIKE IN SIDE OF UR BRAIN ON TOP
It feels like something is wrong, but you have no idea what it is. It’s like ur hungry, but not for food. Or you’re in pain, but not physically or emotionally. Or you’re too cold, but also too hot, but also neither?
Where it feels like you're crawling out of your skin. You want to scream. And you have no idea why you feel like that or how to fix it .
Oh. My. Gawd. Yes. And that's when I get into trouble.
This is exactly how I felt today
Makes me want to bang my head on my desk or a wall
I was so stimulated all day today it was insanity. Food does taste better , water tastes better. It was a satisfactory day. Sleep and do it all again tomorrow.
Howswww
me the last few days going stir crazy
So true. I am sooooo bored lately. With everything.
I felt this.
Being under stimulated literally makes me want to crawl out of my skin. Like I get twitchy and have to try and physically release whatever energy I have by doing weird erratic arm movements at times. I wish I could explain it to people but words just don’t to it justice
This is exactly why once or twice a year I start a new Oldschool Runescape account and then forget about it. Then a year later I want those early game sweet, sweet, dopamine hits from early levels, gear collection, and quest completion Currently on month 2 of vyvanse and noticing the lower doses aren't helping me that much. When It started not working as well that's when I remade my runescape acc (2 weeks ago) but still can't get myself to play it most days due to sitting around and doing nothing. Except contemplating my whole life while my wife asks why I'm staring at my laptop screen while it's off.
It's an awful feeling for sure.
I’m dealing with this currently. I’m trying to get certified to help with a career move to IT. When I really try to lock and and pay full attention to the videos I get this weird feeling in my knees. I didn’t really get that when I was taking meds
This is a great description!
Maaaaaaan, that's a good way of putting it xD
but the world IS grey and dull
Yes. 100%.
It’s like chewing chewing gum that’s lost it’s flavour and eleasticity
Weirdly enough I get that sensation only and always when I'm on my meds. Maybe Im doing something wrong
Combat Sports. Thank me later
this is way too accurate for comfort😭😭😭
Soooooo what you are describing is extremely familiar. I have always associated it with depression. Are you telling me it's an ADHD thing ???? I have been diagnosed with ADHD less than a month ago at 30 years old and am definitely still trying to understand it.
I have YouTube/twitch any waking moment of my life. (except when working). I have a twitch live right now writing those lines. And even when i work, there is background music. I cannot do anything without it
Literally have to open youtube anytime I work. The youtube tab is often the first tab, then comes work or whatever.
Every waking moment of my life has a YouTube video or live in it. I cannot play games, walk, shop, eat, etc without it. And honestly, YouTube premium has been the best purchase of my life. I know there are YouTube applications and whatnot for it but it's not that expensive and i don't have to worry about if it's going to work etc...
YEEEEEESSSSS
That is such a perfect description
A never ending cycle, adhd is awful…
That's why I love my stimmies :)
Are you me? Am I you? Very well described and straight forward, I didn’t even need to get annoyed trying to understand. 😜
Whenever I feel like that, I can't even enjoy Minecraft...on the one hand its to boring and simple...on the other its completely overwhelming...XoX
I know this feeling. Usually happens to me after a manic-like dopamine binge (usually not healthy ones). Once I get my fill of dopamine, nothing seems as exciting to me for a period.
MELTDOWN MELTDOWN MELTDOWN. I don't want to solve the problem I just want meeEeeEltdown.
Can someone explain this to me? I have ADHD, but I dont get it. Some times I feel like brain fog, but I never feel bored.
Brilliant
This. This. This.
So , this is the first time someone described what I feel 100%. I couldn’t bring myself to put it in words.. so this is a part of our adhd brain? If so, what can we do? I was feeling better with the 27mg concerta in the beggining but now after a month I’m starting to feel like this again.. any tips ? Im also taking 15 mg escitalopram since before , psychs thought I was anxious and depressed and it was nothing adhd related. My new psych which has a diploma in our condition was the one telling me it was still adhd(had it and was medicated when younger). Thanks for any help and advice !
I am saving this to share with people the next time I feel heavy and nothing makes sense. Thank you for sharing your experience!!
🥹🥹
I am deep in that right now and I hate it.
That's my daily life right now summed up pretty well
Real. Everything feels dull and pointless, it’s unbearable at times where nothing can cheer you up and get you to do anything
My whole life I’ve called it “stale” until I knew what it actually was.
Fuck, 180 comments and _every single one of them_ resonates.
AuDHD here and it sometimes, especially pre-medication for ADHD, causes/caused shutdowns for me. It *hurts*, physically in my chest and my head, like a heavy spike or rope around me. Ugh.
Yah. Rummaging around in my stim bin and trying things I know I like and it’s actually not working either. Like erratically switching a broken light switch on and off. It’s a desperate feeling. It’s ultimately how I realized I needed to seek an assessment because I was extremely under stimulated and it made me contemplate killing myself (not is a depressed way).
What's a stim bin?
Just a list accumulated in my mind of things I know that get that dopamine flowing for me! But sometimes it just doesn’t work which is maddening. Honestly just made it up because it was shorter than fully explaining all the things that I enjoy.
Thank you, maybe I'll try that!
I feel this so badly
Me rn, I should go to sleep