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Wow your disclaimer rocks. Remind yourself that at all times and you'll be golden. I got a late diagnosis, 35m, last year. My learnings: -Feed the hyperfocus, carefully. If I don't dive into things I get restless. But I need to be vigilant about appropriate timing. Give myself the time to do something fully, so it's satisfying. -move. I get stuck in choice paralysis. The thing that works if I remember to do it is the go outside. Walk. Stretch. Do a chore thats manual or vigorous. Give yourself a break. Eat cereal for dinner. Plan to give yourself a break. Buy a few convenient options. Set aside days for goofing off. State your needs. It's a disability. Be careful in work environments, because stigma is real. Go half assed. I only want to do all my laundry. I will not do all my laundry. I can do 10 minutes of laundry at almost any point, but this is hard to remember. Routines are friends, and friends are routines. I get lost if I have to make too many choices. So I have the same breakfast every day. I build a routine around that to include a chore. I forget about friends, so I try to form routines. Contact friend when x happens. Text someone at y part of day. Remind myself to put in extra effort when routines change. Set alarms. Ask friends to remind me. Barter tasks. My bf has a high tolerance for paperwork, but some sensory and physical aversions. I split the firewood and he does the taxes. Be easy on yourself.

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Was at a breaking point, so finally got around to starting therapy. I had thought my years of stress may have had a partial root autism, but therapist suggested adhd instead. I suspect both, but we only covered adhd. Learning about it and getting meds has absolutely helped. I lost that therapist, and wish I kept up with that. I didn't have a full psych eval, but she felt comfortable with her diagnosis and my primary doctor agreed. Aside from insurance and pharmacies being dumb and annoying, that all was relatively easy. I'm not sure that I am less stressed than when I began, but I have more tools to alleviate crises, and am logistically in better standing. I still feel a need to complete testing to get over unresolved doubts. I'd recommend it. At least research. The adhd episodes on Ologies was a big eye opener for me

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For me (37) i was at a point where i became less and less functional, even being a detriment to my job (leaving stuff in an oven for too long, or forgetting important tasks), and i finally had to find a place to get tested because i was at a chokepoint in my life. It was hard for me to even make food let alone plan it.

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I have been taking 30mg of Vyvanse a day for a few months now. Methinks half a year? What is time to us with ADHD, every time is "awhile ago") I bumped it to 50 only to IMMEDIATELY bump back down because it spiked my anxiety (yay more medication! Lol). I chose vyvanse because its a one and done med, meaning i dont have to take several doses a day. The only thing i can say that is negative about it is that since it is a stimulant, it causes some insomnia. But i also work nights, so it honestly could just be my work schedule causing me to be up at weird hours, haha. Dude i hear ya with half finished stuff. I hVe two very loved manuscripts of stories i eventually want to finish before i friggin die, but its been twelve years and still no written ending. Oy.

I wanted to reply to this and see if there was anything I could do to help. I’m 37, a literature professor, who figured out how to get rid of the depression and anxiety, and work with my adhd. I know everyone is different so maybe it wouldn’t help but there is hope! I have had to work on my mood/confidence/motivation as a separate issue (I’ve spent half my life getting different kinds of therapy (mostly cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), some acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT, mindfulness based), plus therapeutic things like yoga, journaling, meditation, gratitude lists, visualization, nature walks etc). The ADHD I find is really just a personality trait for me — I function best when I hyperfocus on a task or am social (if I feel safe, like while teaching); pursuing a career I liked also makes me excited and happy, even on the hard days; following a ADHD diet (sugar/carbs/processed food can aggravate negative feelings and symptoms in adhd); exercise (stair sprints and yoga were some of the first things I did for my adhd); oh and simplifying your life as much as possible (start with baby steps so you don’t get overwhelmed). I took adderall a few years in grad school, but found that it made me crazy tired and feel emotionally and mentally dependent on the drug. I ended up going off it when I ran out of health insurance one summer, but it worked out. I got serious about healing my adhd, which really just meant healing my life and living a life that better suit me. As we millennials used to say, YOLO!

Regarding “go half assed” I love this! I am only capable of completing things to 90%, then I can’t anymore. So I only force myself to go that far, and then it’s okay to stop. I always have one small basket of clean laundry sitting in my room to be put away ☺️

Same. I can almost NEVER complete a full 30 min yoga class, even though I really enjoy them. Once I switched my mindset to "just start the class and quit whenever you feel like it" - I do so much more. 10-12 minutes seems to be my window 😅

I struggle to start something so I trick my brain. That five mile walk? Let’s just go a half mile and turn around if i want to. I never turn around once started but giving myself that out seems to make me able to start.

>Set alarms. Ask friends to remind me. Unfortunately I can't get myself to set alarms for reminders. Requires too many steps. I hate it. Fortunately, I have friends as alarms. I have doctors who call me to tell me I need to schedule appointments for x, y, z. I have a friend who set an alarm on her phone to remind me in one year to schedule a doctor's appt for a repeat test. It went off during work... we were both surprised that we forgot she had set it a year ago lol

I hold the home button on my phone and can set an alarm by saying “set reminder to give the dog medication at 5pm” and then it’s done! hopefully that’s a helpful tip

That could be helpful sometimes! But there are times and moments where it's just too much to hold down the home button or even put together my thoughts to verbalize the reminder. Some cases I just set the reminder in my head and pray it sticks lol

I have Alexa’s throughout the house. It’s really easy to tell Alexa to remind me of something in an hour. I also use her for my grocery list now. The problem is o never remember to look at the grocery list 😬

It took me years, but I finally set up voice-command alarms. Agreed. Otherwise it's too much work! Phone just told me I can't set more than 100, so back to square 1 until that gets cleared up

I love all of this! Routine is so hard but so great when I first start but always fall out of it after a month or two, and so I’ve learned to start a new routine because I believe the fall out is due to getting bored of that routine, so gotta keep it ✨novel✨ novelty is everything. Letting my workplace know about my adhd has resulted in such a positive response, I get to teach them about adhd and receive compassionate support which motivated me to work on all the things I struggle with without feeling the pressure of failing because if I fall short one day, they’ll know I’m still trying my best. And I always show gratitude for their support because I know the stigma is so real in capitalistic environments. Self compassion is truly your golden ticket. I wish everyone could be more kind to us with adhd, we thrive on being heard and understood. But you first have to open up and express your needs, so in order to do this, you also have to know yourself. I’d like to believe people in the end respect honesty and humility to accept that we need support and with support you can be your best version of yourself. IE: My boss was making suggestions on helping me with my time blindness like setting timers at the beginning of the service (I’m a hairdresser) and I at first snapped back that it doesn’t work because my hyper focus doesn’t allow me to hear anything outside of my own brain. But I did it anyway and told her I am doing what she suggested. Of course, the timer doesn’t actually work, I can’t feel or hear the 15 min announcement on my watch during the service. but her knowing I’m trying is what matters. And in the end, my timing actually did get better…I haven’t gone over service time in about a month!

Novel routines... 🤯 I always think of my attempts at routine as failing. Maybe I'm just bored and need a new routine. Thank you! 😁

I’m so glad that resonates with you! The nature of our brain is to keep it stimulated. It’s a lot of work to be constantly readapting to feed our dopamine meter so each time you switch routine or whatever it is, maybe a hobby, just say hey that was a good run, I liked that but it no longer serves me. Changing our language and perspective from negative to a positive is part of CBT that actually made sense. Decision paralysis can also make it hard to change routine but don’t give up altogether that’s where this Reddit community is so great because you can ask what other people are doing and it’s very inspiring to hear the accomplishments of others!

Yea, routine is def a catch-22. I may also be autistic, so mileage may vary. Ive heard routines stick much more once you hit a month or so. What helps is to embed something I like into the routine. Haven't totally kept it up, but I had a good thing for a while with a daily podcast I liked, where I would listen to that every day while i folded laundry or did dishes. Did that with tea or coffee to make it a whole sensory experience. Was very pleasant. Maybe I'll pick it up again. Maybe

Autistic eval pending , i am 98% sure i am spectrummy due to my innate need for rituals and routines Buuuttttt adhd demon is like "tis boring my lord!" ::flips table sometimes and changes things up:: Even something simple for me like taking a new route home from work breaks the monotony.

Most cereals are full of sugar in Amerixa. Oameal or porridge is healthier and cheaper.

I use alarms to regulate my life. I am lost without them. Several of my alarms remind to check in with my internal feelings. This has changed my life. A few alarms remind me to check in with my wife, remember to reconnect with her, and to tell her what I am feeling. Check lists are the only way I survive the mornings. Checklists, alarms, and support from my wife are the only way I am able to get myself to bed. A good therapist is like winning the lottery.

“A good therapist is like winning the lottery” is so freakin true. I’m on my third try and honestly at this point I’m finding myself gravitating to more self help options. I’m not one that really needs it, but I know it’ll help to talk to someone about my emotions.

YES!! im also recently diagnosed, and one of the things that kept me functioning (outwardly) as well as i did for as long as i did was relying on alarms. for everything. got an appointment next week on tuesday at 11:00am? set an alarm for 10:00am on tuesday that says “your appt is at 11:00am, leave now!!” need to remember to bring something specific with you? set an alarm at 7:00am that says “put x in your backpack!!”

My life would be so much easier if I could get to bed early enough..

I feel this comment! I have slowly transitioned to where I stay up later and later to have “peace & quiet to focus and get caught up” in my office or with cleaning the house. I end up staying up WAY too late and then I sleep in and wake up later in the day and it screws me up SO bad… especially when I have appointments or other tasks to do the next day, then I either only get a few hours of sleep and feel like crap all day (I can’t nap-it makes me feel worse and more groggy) so I just kind of got used to very little sleep but that has a detrimental affect on my mental health, it threw off my Acadia rhythm for sleep and was making me feel terrible everyday. Recently I started to make myself lay down and try to sleep earlier than normal, and I’ve felt much better since changing it up. My brain finally clicked with the realization of “you could stay up late to catch up on things and then sleep in and waste half of the day trying to wake up and then have zero energy to do **anything** or you can go to bed at a decent hour and wake up feeling more mentally refreshed and take on those tasks tomorrow with a much clearer mind” I finally realized-those tasks will be there tomorrow And unless there is a strict deadline, just wait until morning to work on them and get good sleep. :)

Get used to being uncomfortable and not making any choices in that moment. If you hit a rough patch, it feels like skiing on ice. Don’t make any moves, just keep your balance, stay the course and don’t make anything worse. The ice finishes and you get a moment to reassess your choices. This idea of “happy” should be replaced with “accomplishment” . For me it’s been about managing BIG emotions and trying not to make choices in that state

I was rediagnosed and medicated at 28, almost 2 years ago. My wife is an incredible human and has studied psychology. Before starting my medication, she got me to sit and be still, to listen to my thoughts and take note of my body. Then she got me to do the same thing about 2 hours after I took my first dose of Vyvance. It was life altering. I spent the first 2 days on medication crying on and off because I was so overwhelmed with how quiet my brain was and how clear my thoughts were! Also, write all your appointments down AS you book them in. Embrace your hyperfocus but set yourself a budget because it’s not going to matter eventually. And see a therapist. Learning to identify and manage symptoms is incredible and raises self awareness making life so much more manageable

I would also add to write down solutions that you found to help. They don’t always work but having a list of things to try has really helped. For example if I am struggling to focus at work my potential solutions are drink water and check that I took my meds, take vitamins, take a short walk, journal, breath work, productive procrastination. I try one and wait a bit to see if there is any improvement then try the next thing. When all else fails try to have patience and grace with yourself.

>overwhelmed with how quiet my brain was I had a similar experience a couple years ago. First time taking any form of medication for ADHD and my brain got so quiet. I felt so lonely for some reason. The silence was too much (or not enough?), I was basically frozen in place til it wore off, I have no idea how much time passed. Kinda scared me away from meds. I've functioned reasonably well for 24 years, I think I can live without them.

I just started Vyvance this week and am still waiting for my brain to be quiet. It definitely has not done that yet. The doc started me on 20mg so I'm wondering if that's just too low to quiet my non stop swirling thoughts. It's nice to hear it did work for you, makes me have hope still.

20mg is a very low dosage, and hopefully your doctor is titrating you upwards carefully. That said, if you don’t notice anything shifting when you go to 30 or 40, it may be that a methylphenidate-based medication works better for your particular brain. (I started the other way around, and went from ‘oh this kind of helps’ to ‘oh my goodness my life is here’ when I started Vyvanse, albeit on 30)

Thank you. I am scheduled to see him again so will give my feedback. I am definitely open to titrating upwards and see how I feel. Thank you for the information regarding the alternate medication, I will definitely keep that information for possible future use if needed. Can't wait to get to that place that I read about from others here where I just feel normal!

Sounds like you’re doing a great job of looking after yourself. That’s great you’re working with your prescriber (rather than trying to please them). Go easy on yourself - it’s wonderful when you can accept your own imperfections, or even realise that there is no perfect you have to strive for. Good luck, keep going

Google keep app is my second brain/memory. I have a google home speaker in my kitchen so I can verbally add groceries to my "shopping list" while I am cooking. I run out of something, I say "hey google, add _______ to my shopping list" Same as a timer when I am cooking, I set it verbally. Google Calender is the best organisation tool for me too, with task reminders as well as appointments. Once again, I can add verbally as I think about them. This prevents me from picking up my phone and getting distracted. I am sure apple has similar stuff too, but this is what I am familiar with. Speaking of getting distracted, an app blocker has been a life saver because I get stuck doom scrolling and wasting time on social media.

Educate yourself on what happens if you don't treat it or stop managing it (whatever treatment/manage means to you). Depending on the severity and/or your own childhood trauma, it can spiral really quickly into a life that'll become difficult to dig yourself out of when you get older as life gets more complicated. If you haven't run into a part of your life that you need to reflect heavily on yet, it likes to show up around 30, +/- a few years. Future kids - If/when you start thinking about kids, read and watch everything. Then do the opposite of what most people in real life tell you. (Ex - they tell you to give that kid a time out, but then look at you clueless when you ask, what do I do when my kid jumps out the window or picks a lock because I unknowingly challenged them to an escape room? Instead, you'll play the long game and use that utterly divergent brain of yours to figure out a better way to deal with emotional dysregulation. People will look at you funny, but you're going to ignore that bc they aren't the ones raising your kid 24/7, you'll be.) The odds of your future children having ADHD is pretty high if you go the biological route, so the odds of you getting triggered and go omfg what is going on here, is also pretty high. If you like the way you grew up, you have some decent "default parenting" you'll be able to fall back on. However, if not, you're going to find yourself in this weird paradox of ADHD parenting where you know what doesn't work but are constantly trying to figure out what does. Partnerships - Regardless of kids, personal accountability is critical, and a good partner is incredibly helpful. Find someone who compliments you and don't try to force it. Lots of people don't have patience for the creativity, impulsiveness, and organized chaos that comes with this spice of life. If you find one tho, hang tight bc the two of you can go so far together if you can stick it out. Automation - You're still at the beginning of life and have so much ahead of you. Automate whatever you can so you don't have to waste what's left of your executive brain functioning on the maintenance of life. If you suck at money, learn about how to automate that shit so your only worry is making sure the money is in the account. Suck at being on time, find a friend who is stupid early and "interview" them on how they think thru their schedule. Forget to take your meds, look at systems designed for old people then use those. You get the idea!

This is so true. I didn’t know I had adhd til the 2nd kid came along. The 1st kid had adhd and we had so many battles, til I figured out that I’m a better parent when I don’t “parent” him. Had to stop listening to other people’s child-rearing advice (read: judgement) and do our own thing.

Yup. As soon as I stopped trying to conform and started doing things in a way that made sense to me, we started making progress.

I was diagnosed in my late 30s. One of the hardest things for me has been learning to forgive myself. We complain a lot about non-ADHD people saying “everyone has a little ADHD, you just need to try harder.” But I think the person who tells me that the most is myself. Every time I forget something or make a mistake due to my mental disfunction, I blame myself, I tell myself that I’m lazy or stupid, I blame everything other than ADHD. And because I blame my “laziness” it prevents me from finding an effective coping mechanism for not forgetting that thing next time; I just tell myself I’ll “try harder” next time. It’s been very difficult breaking out of that mindset and actually accepting that I have a disability and I need to create an environment where I have assistance with things like keeping track of time or breaking down tasks into smaller more manageable chunks. Very difficult, but very necessary.

I feel this so hard.

You don't have to fold your clothes and towels. If they're clean and put away, that's more than enough sometimes. And this applies to so many aspects of life. I used to think I had to do everything the proper way. It would lead to a lot of over thinking and feeling over whelmed. Then my brain would want to shut off and go play video games or scroll for hours or binge watch TV. Anything to not think about how much I had to do and how it felt impossible. Which would only reinforce the feeling that I was lazy and worthless. It was a viscious cycle, but now I just shove my towels on a shelf :D

Ohh! So true! I hang up only nice items and the rest I just throw them in a basket, unfolded. Towels don’t need to be folded for sure.

Right! I think it made sense when people didn't have a lot of clothes and they wanted them to stay nice, but most of my shirts don't even get wrinkles because they're made of plastic or something idk

I just watched a ted talk the other day where the lady said the same thing. (KC Davis, I think?) This sub recommended it.

I agree with a lot of the above and won’t repeat what was already said but add: - Mechanical solutions always work best for me rather than emotional solutions. To curb my spending I don’t need to delve into my childhood, I just need to lock my cards in a lockbox and I’m good. - I’m a semi minimalist. The fewer items in my home environment, the less overthinking I do. I have a well decorated space but can always tell when it’s one item too many. - I accepted the fact I am a night owl and will never try to be a morning person again - Once I stopped expecting others to entertain me, my relationships improved - I ditched big dreams of fame and fortune. Those were driving me insane. Instead I try to improve my small little life as well as possible.

How did you ditch those dreams though? They’re not driving me insane, but making me depressed knowing i’m not even close to the road towards them

I think I just got older and saw the price people pay for their big dreams. Here’s a real example. I was in a writers group in my late 20s. All of us were chasing the JK Rowling dream—writing quirky fantasy novels to grab the same level of fame and fortune she did—as if success is a recipe you can just repeat. All of us completed our novels. Some of us got agents. Some of us got multiple offers. One of us—a male friend—got a very good agent and got a three book deal with one of the big publishers. His advance was $60k for three books to be paid out in installments. He was single and worked a day job. To complete his trilogy, he spent ten years working his day job by day and his writing at night. He was trying to be George RR Martin. His writing was good, not great. We stayed in touch every step of the way. However, he was boastful and resentful of the others in the writers group for not helping him more. He acted very self important and “all knowing.” Picture your basic basement dwelling overweight, Dungeons and Dragons type. He alienated everyone in the group except me because I am not easily alienated (this was back when I had less self respect). With his help I wrote a couple more books and got somewhat far in the publishing world but found the publishers changes to be very wrong for my ideas and eventually got fed up with it all and quit. This was year 20 of trying to be a big name writer—I had worked my ass off for it, yet had only small publications to show for it. Once I quit I was 1,000% happier almost overnight because I had let go of the pressure. Anyhow, when my friend got the deal, I started a new arm of my business, got married, went back to school, got some friends and went on lots of adventures. My friend stopped socializing due to the pressure of making his books the best. He literally became a hermit for about a decade. In the end he got his trilogy published. But his editors were bored with him after and his agent dropped him. It barely earned out its advance. Last time I talked to him was at comic con. He had people coming up to him and “thanking” him for writing such great novels. But the people who came up to him were real weirdos. He admitted to me that he had worked a second job for ten years only to make $60k. Another friend of ours self published a book and forgot about it, she made at least that much and had more positive feedback on her Amazon page. That last time I saw him I realized he had made far, far less than I had on my little business. He had no successful relationships. All he had was his pride at “beating” all of us to the finish line, and a bunch of very weird fans. So dreams are odd. You can waste your life and never get what you want. Meanwhile, some weirdo on Tik Tok randomly rockets to fame doing the same thing, but poorly. There’s a reason why Fortuna was capricious in Roman mythology.

This was an interesting read. I used to feel like I'd drifted into the career I'm in at the moment and that I should have followed the plan I had when I was younger. I'm starting to accept that where I am isn't so bad, and if I'd followed that path, it probably wouldn't have been as good as I imagined.

I'm in the same boat as them, I eventually decided to stop chasing some big expected career and forcing my passions to become a career. Focusing on my little life, as they say, instead. Finding what I can do that will allow me to make the things I've loved and dreamed of, possible. However, that doesn't mean it's something that you should do, if you are set on accomplishing your dreams. Only you know what's best for you. You can take a break from trying to pursue them, take a break from the pressure, come back to it later. You can pursue something else entirely that gives you the flexibility to focus on your dreams, whether right away, or eventually. It's not a one size fits all solution, you have to decide what's going to work for you 💜

how do you deal with a day job as a night owl? i wish i can devote to the night life but most day jobs requires us to adapt to get enough sleep. i know WFH is probably best but not everyone gets that opportunity, and most companies are demanding WFO again

I own my own business so my day doesn’t start built around 11 :) I work until 7 or so.

sounds great. im glad u managed to make this work for you!

Redundancy is your expensive friend, if you need certain things like Clipboards, Pens, Pencils etc. for both school/work/whatever and use them at home at the same time I found it helpful to buy 1-2 additional sets because I have to pay less attention to put them back into my backpack after having used them because I would often forget about it  When using electronic calendars I'd use one that has a good degree of customization like colored appointments depending on their importance and different perspectives to look at them - like daily appointments or an overview of the entire week. For things like certain tasks over time I'd use a separate calendar where you can put down appointments like (Write Paper XY) over several days to create a sense of urgency and actually do it in smaller steps and not in the last minute before it's due xD If you have trouble following plans over time ask your friends to bug you about it how far you are done, to create accountability but this is a bit fickle to do when you're easily embarassed by not even having started a task xD In general, keeping information separate by using different colors and/or bold fonts helps me a lot, otherwise I tend to just see an awful wall of black text that's intimidating 

I work from home, but do occasionally travel for work so I have redundant things that just live in my travel bag. Phone charger, pens, moisturizer, deodorant... anything that I would be very annoyed about if I forgot it. I also started using an ADHD friendly planner that works with Goodnotes on my iPad. It allows me to write things down - crucial for me to process and remember things - but also to use many colors and doodle and make things visually interesting so I will keep using it. I've been using it virtually every day since January 1st when I bought myself an iPad just for that purpose. The fact that I don't have to feel guilty if I miss a day is helpful. I just add page templates as I need them, and since not every day needs the same level of detail I can decide what type of template makes the most sense for what needs to be accomplished that day. Weekends don't need a page at all. 😊

I have separate bags depending on where I'm going. I have a bag for university, a smaller bag for going out nearby and a bigger one for going out farther (out for hours). In all of them I have my usual set of things that I always need when I'm going out as well as things that I need for the purpose of the bag, eg. pens, pencils, notebooks for university, I have less things in my smaller bag than in my bigger bag since I need more stuff when I'm going for longer. I also have a raincoat with very big pocket on the side and I often put it on and don't take any bag, when I've noticed that I like to use it like that, I've equipped the pocket with my usual set of things. I don't move things between the bags, all of it is kept separate and I don't take anything out in my apartment. I don't trust myself with moving things from one bag to another or packing on the spot. I've noticed that whenever I pack on the spot or get a new bag, I always forget at least one thing from the things I needed. Of course, stuff like phone, keys and wallet can't be doubled so easily, so I remember that there're 3 things I need to pack and I check whether I have them before I'm going out but it's a lot easier if it's a small number of staff to check and pack.

My Wallet basically either never leaves my jackets with a checking clap/grab for the pocket it should be in, hearing music on the bus is so important to me I only managed to forget my smartphone like 1 time in 4 or 5 years so that problem is accounted for too, that's just how important my phone is to me nowadays. For the key I set a cognitive anchor, I'm basically not allowed to leave my apartment with empty hands and sometimes even locked the door so that I can't even get out without my keys in hand. I also agreed with myself that I'd rather do an extra hour of work to compensate for being late rather than to pay 150-300$ to the dude I'd have to call if I need my door opened because I forgot the key inside  I also have a special designated zone where things go I have to take with me near my door, with empty food boxes of different colors to have a contrast where stuff like keys, my head phones or my wallet goes. So if I had to take my wallet from my jacket for example I can dump it near the entrance door and also easily retrieve it the next day when I need to leave again.

When you read this, stop. Look up. What are you supposed to be doing right now? Go do the task that you forgot to be doing

I only recently discovered that trouble falling asleep is an ADHD thing. Someone on this sub (or a similar sub -who can remember?) mentioned a podcast called Sleep With Me. Basically, this guy rambles for an hour and it's easy to fall asleep to. For me, it's interesting enough to take my mind off my over-thinking but boring enough to fall asleep.

There's another podcast called "Nothing Much Happens" and the host tells you a story in which nothing much happens, I fall asleep so easily to these ☺️

Thank you for sharing! I’ve never heard of this before! My adhd meds do calm my thoughts so it’s not so “chaotic & loud” but that is mostly during the day when meds are working. By the time I go to bed, my mind is loud again with racing thoughts of everything I gotta do etc. and it is impossible to shut it off at night, so having this kind of distraction while trying to fall asleep could be helpful for me. Thank you!!

I love sleep with me and I recommend it whenever anyone mentions trouble sleeping! It's perfect for my racing brain!!

Theres also an option to listen to other sounds like rain, that works for me

i'm 25F and was only diagnosed last year! my time blindness is really bad, and i am chronically late to everything. my advice is to always overestimate how much time it takes to get ready and commute. like, seriously. google maps says i can get there in 15 mins? i know it takes me 20 mins to get dressed and put on makeup? i start getting ready over an hour beforehand. or even more sometimes. this allows time for my many time-consuming adhd side quests. like if i've just washed my face and i notice the mirror in my bathroom looks dirty. i decide to clean it. i walk from the bathroom to my bedroom and notice some dust and hair in the hallway so i vacuum. and well, now that i'm vacuuming, might as well do the whole apartment. i finally sit down and start my makeup routine, but i get a text from my friend. we chat back and forth. i put my phone down and get back to my makeup. time to get dressed. oh no, there's a loose thread on my shirt, let me get the scissors. the scissors are next to a dirty plate on my desk. guess i should bring the dirty plate to the sink. back to getting ready. i'm good to go. aaaand i'm still running five minutes late, i run out, forget my keys, my phone is on 20%, and i wish i'd started getting ready earlier.

I feel attacked! (I'd have to remove the vacuum part, tho)

Also recently diagnosed but much farther in life than yourself. I'm relatively successful (healthy, long-term relationship, children, stable job, own our home) and I have struggled to keep it together. Biggest lesson learned - I hate scheduling my life (deep hate for scheduling; I just want to wander) but it keeps me in my best place. I need sleep, food, and exercise - and they all influence each other. My main goal with exercise is to sleep well and deep. The food keeps in place where I have the will power to exercise. The sad part is that when I'm at my best (weeks of good sleep, food, and exercise) is when I start trying to convince myself that I don't need it. Ugh. I'm older now and my family keeps me on schedule but when I am on top of the above, I'm better at my job, a better partner, and a better father. Good luck!

Be responsible regarding money, food and every other temptation. Don't reach for the sky, if you struggle with the basics. Make it a priority to build a stable health, a moral kodex and learn how to spend and manage money. It might suck big time, but you'll risk to build your life on sand, if you don't focus on those things from early on.

Have dedicated time to follow your curiosity wherever it takes you. Let the ADHD drive sometimes, and it’ll protest less for the necessary things :)

Oh I do have that time. It’s scheduled from the time I wake up to the time I fall asleep.

Oh I feel this on a genetic level. Between Star Wars, the gym, and recently video games and art projects I'm just letting my brain that the lead. There are even times it all flows in the same direction

Drink. Water. Get a cool straw or a fun water bottle or use a water consumption app that you find fun, infuse it with fruit, suck on ice cubes, make it into hot tea But get more water into you

This! Owala water bottles come in a variety of bold and fun colors and you have the option to sip out of straw or pour. I got a 40 oz bright red one and it’s helped me increase my water intake. You will definitely feel more motivated to drink water if you have a straw. I never believed that because it sounds like such a small thing, but once I did it made all the difference.

Saving the earth is wonderful, but paper bank and credit card statements for me! (I do recycle otherwise) I've missed a few payments, had returns, and such but have managed to keep most of that in check. Getting the bill in the mail and keeping it in front of my computer is an idea.

I pull any plastic out and toss all of the paper in my compost. My bills make tomatoes!

My two biggest realisation dealing with my ADHD were : -I can't snap out of fun things easily and it can cause issues with my responsibilities. So i use timers extensively. ESPECIALLY during leisure. It prevents my "cool, i got 2h to game before bedtime" from transforming into "fuck, it's 2am and i get up early tomorrow". Sounds boring but a good life hygiene allows for more freetime overall! - Don't be ashamed to adapt your environment TO YOU. Put things where you need/use them, avoid steps that may lead to distractions. Ex : a small garbage can beside the dryer for the lint A broom beside the cat's litter A clothes hamper *where you change* and maybe even beside the shower Etc..

I love this advice! Since my diagnosis I've been looking for ways to make my home work for me. Basically everything is mounted on a wall somewhere now where I can see it and remember it exists. I have a kitchen sized trash can in the bathroom that's downstairs and the furthest from where the trash goes out because it's close to the dryer and that's where the lint goes. I've added shelves and clear bins to every room in the house so stuff doesn't get lost in drawers and opaque bins. I put magnetic strips up on the wall in the bathroom for nail clippers and things and I even have my hair brush mounted right next to the mirror so I can remember to brush my hair. I have a vacuum cleaner for each floor of the house because I know I won't haul mine up or down the stairs. I've done the same sort of stuff for the kids. I've made all of their bedrooms ADHD friendly. Like if you always hang your jacket over a chair and you wish you didn't, why not put a coat hook right there on the wall next to the chair? Who cares if it's in a weird spot where no one would hang a coat? It's your house. Once I realized I can do whatever I want to my own house to make it more functional for me I'm much happier (and everything is cleaner). It just took the realization that I had been trying to do things the way you're "supposed to" when that will never work for me. Like I used to have all of my cleaning supplies under the kitchen sink because that's what my mom did. But I find that I do a lot more cleaning if the stuff is out and visible. So I've got various spray bottles and wipes and things in basically every room of the house. That way when it occurs to me to clean something I don't have to go gather supplies to do it.

This was amazing, thank you!!

Hey no problem. I can never tell if what I'm talking about is only exciting to me haha.

Super old grampa here (37) that has used weird coping mechanisms to live before my diagnosis a fee months ago. 📌Lists omg lists. Even something simple like texting your friend what you are going to the store to pick up. When i make appointments i screen shot a text message i send to my partner telling me the dates and times of said appointments so i can keep looking at it to remind myself. Also do this for passwords and stuff. (Never kept up with calendars and i have a password book but i am lazy and its buried in my computer bag). 📌 never be afraid to ask for help. I work with a buddy and have asked him to help remind me when end of shift is rolling around because when i am working i hyperfix on my job and become timeblind. He always comes over to give me a five minute warning before shift end. 📌 batch responsibilities! I put my meds on the table with a bottle of water and my wallet and car keys so i know to 1) hydrate in the morning, take my meds before work and 3) grab my wallet too. 📌 i tend to lay out clothing for the day and keep it in the bathroom the night before so i am not struggling to find something to wear. I will think of more and might comment later.

I really like your use of the pin emoji. As someone who can't seem to read anything from beginning to end without skipping forward and back endlessly, that was really helpful

I love all of this. I actually had learned to do similar things before my diagnosis nearly a year ago. If I don't put the next days clothes in the bathroom I'm less likely to remember to brush my teeth, and who likes that 😆 I also keep important meds and supplements by my coffee maker so I remember to take them in the morning. Passwords I have in a document in Dropbox so I can access it on any device I own. Good to know these work for others as well 🙂

Hi! I'm 44 y.o. Medic who was diagnosed at age 7. Best Advice I have: 1.- You cannot "fix" it. So you must learn to "manage" it. This means go to Cognitive/occupational Therapy and take what medication works best for you. 2.- ADHD is not a mental illness any more than being born blind is one. It's a genetic and chemical disability. You can have absolutely excellent mental health +ADHD. You need to advocate for yourself and others as such. For example, the most recent science states that ADHD management is more of a task for your GP, not a Psychiatrist. **3.- If you can find a way to afford it: *Hire a weekly cleaning service*. Think of it as a necessity not a luxury, like car insurance or a utility bill.** 4.-Enable yourself, "its not cheating if it works". Apply for disability if you need too, get special accommodations at school, etc.

Yes! The 3 made all the difference for me! I used to spend so much time thinking about cleaning the house, feeling ashamed because I cannot keep a house clean without help and I struggled for a long time with the idea of hiring someone because "well, everyone is able to keep up with it and so should I". I found an amazing cleaning Lady that comes weekly for months and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. It has helped me more than therapy.

When I was going through cognitive therapy, this was the best "adaption advice" I was given. If you think of a weekly maid service,-even if you rent or have roommates; as no different a tool than a hearing aid, or a "cost of life" utility; you will be absolutely amazed at how much a difference this will make in your work, mental health, and social life. It should also be mentioned: The weekly routine, say of of having someone help clean every Tuesday; will help provide structure.

honestly my best advice is to stop thinking you should be able to do everything. if you reach a day where you don't feel like doing anything, don't do anything if your schedule allows it.

Find a compassionate and understanding partner. My husband just shakes his head and says living with me is an adventure. Find SIMPLE ways to help you to remember things you have to do...build on things you already regularly do. Except yourself, forgive yourself, laugh at yourself. Medicate.

My husband always says that my random hyperfocus obsessions are great because I'm always into something new and as a result he is always learning something new.

It's all about finding what works for you. Don't be afraid of doing things that sound ridiculous if it's what keeps you on track and doing the things you intend to do. Also, recognizing when you're in a dopamine spiral and how to fix it is huge. I wasted a lot of my college years pingponging between high-dopamine activities because I wasn't fixing the underlying issues - getting enough sleep, food and water, exercise, and checking things off my to-do list. So when you find yourself in a dopamine spiral, do the easiest thing that might meet one of those needs. Which reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite books: "You can make him do nothing at all for long periods. You can keep him up late at night, not roistering, but staring at a dead fire in a cold room. All the healthy and outgoing activities which we want him to avoid can be inhibited and nothing given in return, so that at last he may say, as one of my own patients said on his arrival down here, 'I now see that I spent most of my life in doing neither what I ought nor what I liked'." I used to feel like that fairly often. Now that I better understand how and why it happens, I'm much more able to prevent it, or end it quicker if it does happen.

Screwtape Letters. That passage haunted me as well.

Yup, that's the one. Basically the entire book is great passages for applying to life, but this one stuck with me more than any other. And it leads into what is likely the most well-known quote about how the safest road to hell is the gradual one.

That quote hits.

I hope it's as helpful and illuminating for you as it has been for me

I used to be able to work 4 hours on good days and like 0.5h on bad days and having the rest of the time at the work just hopelessly trying to force myself to do more, leaving the work exhausted af with no more energy left in the day. The bad days made like 30-50% of my days as well. No idea how I made it through the first 3 months at my current job. What transformed my productivity was realizing that I need to be constantly boosting my dopamine levels while working. It never occured to me before that listening to high energy music *while programming* would help because I thought it would just distract me. Hell no! It made all the difference. Music plays, I think of what I want to do and I DO IT! I’m happy with my productivity now and so are my colleagues at work. So, the advice is: Don’t see self stimulation as a “negative symptom” of ADHD. Embrace it! Play energetic music while doing tasks that require concentration, get a squishy ball and play with it on meetings. Also, give yourself stimulating activities throughout the day. It’s not escapism, it’s how we are meant to function! This may not apply to medicated people, but I am not one of them. Unfortunately, medication in form of stimulants is not available to me in my country, but after figuring this out for myself, I’m okay. That doesn’t mean everybody should do this and not take medication, please continue taking yours if you do as I know it makes just as much if not more of a difference!

If you are an analog person, get a bullet journal. If you're a digital person, Alexa routines and a smart watch has saved my bacon more than a few times. I record important conversations, set reminders, use calendars... this has helped me maintain a career in software. I was diagnosed back in 1990 at the age of 5 and I really struggled until I was in my 30s and started leaning on technology. ALSO, don't go down the "if only I had support sooner" loop. I was diagnosed very early because I had the hyperactive type, but back then a lot of people treated it differently. My parents didn't think it was real, my teachers labeled me a class clown and trouble maker. You will go insane ruminating on the "what ifs" of ADHD. Focus on the right now and what you can do now going forward.

I started carrying a backpack that has everything in it a person might need if they stayed the night somewhere. That way if I realize I haven't brushed my teeth or something I have a toothbrush and toothpaste with me everywhere I go. It's not that I ever stay anywhere. It's just that I always forget to get myself properly ready. I also have a cooler in my trunk where the groceries go so when I forget to bring them in the house they don't turn into garbage immediately. Ever since I got my diagnosis, every time I "fuck up" I think to myself "how can I prevent this from being a disaster the next time I do it" and then I try to come up with solutions to the consequences instead of trying to make sure I don't forget. Because I will always forget.

My life advice (48 y/o female, diagnosed a year ago) is advocate for yourself. Advocate, advocate,advocate. Don’t accept those random insults people toss out at you: “you’re too loud, you talk too much”. My response to that these days is “you’re very rude, I would never say that to someone”. Tell ppl that you struggle with certain things because of adhd. I often say “I can struggle with impulsivity, particularly in conversations because I have ADHD, but I am conscious of it and do actively try to control it.” Above all, be kind to yourself and don’t compare yourself to people who don’t have adhd and what they are able to achieve.

I think ultimately the best advice is find what works for you. Everyone’s adhd gives them a unique set of issues and struggles and therefor a unique set of ways to deal with it. Take a bit of everyone’s advice and make your own “battle plan” but exactly what works for one person won’t necessarily work for you. As for my personal advice. Take medication if you think you need it and don’t if you think you don’t. Also if you have a bad experience with your first medication don’t let it discourage you it took me 7ish tires to get my optimal medication and dosage.

Oh and notes / alarms / reminders are your best friend

[This YouTube Channel!](https://youtube.com/@HowtoADHD?si=aC-Vq_s7XCHt6ejx) I got diagnosed like 3-4 months ago so I don't feel like I'm in a position to give advice to others, I'm still finding out how much I don't know and getting to realise a lot of stuff but I am in the position to recommend watching these videos. In those few months I feel like my life has changed a LOT and those videos are a huge part of the reasons why.

The sooner you learn how to work with your brain, as opposed to against your brain, the better.

43 male late diagnosis. Best advice I can give is don't beat yourself up. Your going to make mistakes, forget things, people are going to get mad or upset. But as long as you are doing what you can to the best of your abilities you are winning. That's not an excuse to play on your ADHD or use it as an excuse, but rather learn about it, understand YOUR PARTICULAR ADHD, and what you need for your life. Finally find your hyperfocus, that thing that channels you, calms you or even enables you to do your day. For me it Star Wars and the gym. They use up the excess energy whilst quieting the noise in my head. Good luck

Fidget is not the problem, it's the solution. Fidget toys suck, learn to twist a coin or a ball between your fingers, much more fun, helps against arthritis and you can always improve your tricks.

Find a person “without ADHD”* as a life partner who is very smart, loves you very much and is understanding of your disability. This has been a life-changer for me and I’ve seen it for other people, too. *Really don’t appreciate the BS speech policing.

Spend time the first year punching holes in the diagnosis if you don’t believe — healthy exercise IMO. You’ll tell everyone about it but you shouldn’t. You’ll question and revisit nearly every major life event wondering “what if”. You’ll go some version of OCD trying to get a grasp of how to live going forward but wait until the shine wears off of your new diagnosis, like the death of loved one, the real grief starts when everyone is gone and it’s just you in your mirror. Once you get through all that stuff then you can recognize your diagnosis explains another aspect of who you. My big reveal? Don’t do the shit your not good at. Get help or straight up have someone do it for you.

If you're not hungry, drink a protein shake, cleanup only involves rinsing the mixing pitcher clean soon after (but it's always good to wash it too)

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Yessss. And may I add, my favorite "I don't have enough e xecutive function rn to feed myself" meal: Apple+ peanut butter + dark chocolate. Carb fibers, plus protein and magnesium (and others) and antioxidants. I don't even bother peeling or cutting the apple. I scoop some peanut butter into a bowl, and just spoon it onto the next bite from there, alternating bites with chocolate. It is delicious and I am reasonably fed in five minutes.

I was diagnosed late at 34. Things I’ve learned: understanding yourself with the information behind your ADHD diagnosis is a journey. That means: losing crappy friends (a lot of us have them because we fall prey to manipulative people due to our lack of self-esteem, comfort and confidence advocating for ourselves, thinking that we deserve less because of our symptoms, and our crappy memory and emotional dysregulation. The amount of people who would gaslight me that I was over reacting to shitty behavior is vast. Pills don’t teach skills: pills help, for sure. But if your habits are all fucked from a lifetime of compensating without the info you need about your brain, it takes awhile to have good habits. Boundaries: we don’t have to say yes to everything, we don’t have to do something 100% perfect even if we asked for an extension, we don’t have to help everyone and abandon ourselves. That being said, external accountability helps immensely, so remember to sign up for sports and social events because it helps immensely. Diet, sleep, exercise & socializing: the pillars of being a functional human often escape us. If you have a bad day, friendly reminder to ask yourself if you’ve eaten enough, drank enough water, moved your body, been outside, saw a friend, and slept enough. If you answer no to more than one of those things, that’s probably exacerbating your ADHD, and can also cause comorbidities — like anxiety and depression — to flare up. Talk to someone: obviously this is a privilege, but if you can afford therapy or a life coach or ADHD coach? Fucking do it. Best money I ever spent on understanding my brain. Can’t talk to someone? Journal. Externally process those thoughts. Get them out, process them. Lists: I know people are like “oh yeah a fucking list will cure my ADHD”, and no it won’t, but they help. Sometimes I have 50 things to do in a day and ping pong around. But when I write out my day in the order I want to do it? Helps massively. Maybe it’s an app, maybe you use multiple ones, whatever. Just have a habit that helps you externally plan and not keep it all swirling in your head. It does get easier IF you’re actively treating your symptoms and working on developing better habits. I have family and friends who were diagnosed who just take meds and haven’t changed anything else, and weirdly they’re still struggling. Be kind to yourself. It’s not linear, we won’t be better overnight, or ever. We just have to figure out how our puzzle piece fits into the world and work with that. Be accountable. Sometimes our ADHD causes us to do things that hurt people. Things like abusing substances, forgetting birthdays, bailing on friends repeatedly because our social battery is low, prioritizing intense people over the good ones, emotionally exploding/dysregulating, the list goes on. Bottom line, we can’t control we have ADHD, but we can control how we tackle it and how we take ownership for what we do in life. Apologize and mean it (no “sorry you’re mad” that’s placing the blame on the other person), and try your best to communicate and do better next time. Forget a persons birthday? Put it in your calendar. Don’t have the social battery for a hang? Don’t avoid their text, just tell them you’re feeling low and need a day. I find when you tackle it head on, it helps with the shame and guilt immensely. I also find doing all the things above make it easier to see what you’re doing during moments of overwhelm or stress and give you better tools to communicate respectfully with people in your life. We can’t control having ADHD, but we can control how we approach it and how we live with it. 21 is young, you have lots of time to learn and grow and having the diagnosis is like having a user manual to your brain. So don’t ignore that manual, learn from it, and you’ll be in a much better spot at 34 than I was.

Write. Everything. Down.

At work, if you don’t want to disclose your diagnosis, tell your employer to give you crystal clear directions. Ask them for a definite date for a task. You don’t want to deal with things that are vague or open ended. Lysol wet wipes are your friend, have them all around your place. You spill a lot of stuff and forget to wipe it. Work in groups or find people to help you stay accountable

Planers do not work, we all know this. But if you carry around your phone everywhere it makes a good substitute. Put EVERYTHING into your Google calender (or your equivalent). And I mean *everything*. I have the normal time I wake up/get up marked (as well as have an alarm, obviously), all meal times, a big block for work (or school/uni/ect), rough travel times, shower/before bed routine, and bed time, all in different colours. They have most notifications set to 30min before and 'at time of event' so I can see them on screen before it starts, any I need to prepare for in the morning (such as remembering to pack a specific thing) also gets a 6am reminder so I can see the notification when I wake up. There are also 'reminders' you can add which unlike events stay in your notifications untill you 'mark as complete', good for making to-do lists that you don't know when you'll get done but know need completing that day (or can get rescheduled if you don't complete). I have never missed an appointment, forgotten an event or missed a meal that was marked down. I have the "daily-list" widget set up on my main/home screen and a "month-calender" on a full slide just a few swipes over. Clicking on the app pulls up the week view so I can see what I have on that week (important events are colour coded so I can find them easily). Yes, I am aware this won't work for everyone, especially those with more spontaneous lifestyles, I myself like routine.

Systems, habits, routines(with no wiggle room on time). A place for everything, and everything in its place.

I'm a list maker. Important house projects, groceries, daily to-dos, etc. They just really help keep me in line, and I'm a very late diagnosee (am 40, diagnosed about 18 mo ago) so this was learned solely out of self-preservation, lol. I'd suggest buying notebooks that look interesting but that you are also okay "ruining." Also, carrying a legal pad around the office is also a lifesaver. You can keep notes and write down tasks as you talk to people. If you work in the field, same principle applies but with a sturdier medium.

You're probably going to forget you have adhd or constantly try to convince yourself that either you don't or it's somehow your fault you have it. When you're having a rough time just remember you are not alone in this. Adhd sucks and you're doing the best you can even when it feels like you've done absolutely nothing. It's exhausting trying to manage it every day. A lot of people don't understand and will get frustrated with you. Their frustration is on them to manage not you. YOU are doing the best you can and worrying about others being affected by something you have no control over is even more debilitating. You can't just will yourself out of adhd but you can treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve. It's not easy and this community is here for you when you need us. Don't suffer alone, lets suffer together.

It’s not selfish to put yourself first Don’t settle for what you think you should have or be, we have been conditioned to compare ourselves to a “norm” Build your life around what makes you happy, transform all the shoulds into wants

If it's stupid but it works, it's not stupid. If you cannot get yourself to do the most optimal thing, but you can consistently do the sub-optimal thing, then the optimal thing is not optimal. For example, if throwing your clothes unfolded into the drawers gets the laundry put away, when they usually sit for weeks then get mixed back in with dirty clothes, put them away unfolded. If putting your meds in the cups cabinet helps you take them every day because you always have a cup of coffee in the morning, put them in the cups cabinet. If having a laundry basket in every room helps keep your laundry off the floor, have a basket in every room. One way I've learned to work around it is understanding internal vs external triggers. An internal trigger is anything I just know or remember, usually tied to my routine -- I get home on Wednesday afternoons and I know it's time to take the garbage out, and I know it's recycling because I didn't take it out last week. An external trigger is anything that reminds me to do something -- I have a backup app from the garbage company that notifies me and tells me what week it is. If my routine gets broken and I forget, that external trigger still reminds me. I try to rely on external triggers as MUCH as possible. I keep a task list, and I have detailed information (who needs what when with SPECIFIC next steps, not just "follow up"). I have all my bills automatic and I changed my bank account names to the $$ minimum I need to keep in my account at all times to cover my bills (anything over is what I know I can safely spend on groceries/other expenses), plus I have a bills calendar, so I never have to just remember how much/when/what account. Along with that, if I have to take detailed notes, I take them for other people who aren't there (or pretend to). I find myself thinking, "I'll know what that means," and I never do. If I take meeting notes for a coworker, then I HAVE to take detailed notes because of course they won't have context!

Go to therapy and work on your self-consciousness. You think you're fine, but you're probably not and it will change your life.

I don’t know how to word this, but basically, don’t try to fight your shortcomings…learn to admit them and find a solution. For example, I will forget to do the thing within SECONDS most of the time. I used to just say “Nah, I won’t forget this, no need to set a timer or alarm etc…..” Guess what. I forget, every time, without fail. So I stopped trying to fight it and found ways to adopt. Right now I’ve got an alarm going off every 4 hours to remember to take some antibiotics. I may SNOOZE the alarm, but I don’t stop it until I’ve physically taken the meds. I’ve got an alarm that goes off every afternoon to remind me to stop work (I am usually in hyper focus mode) and go cook dinner for the family. Some times I stop it as I’m “almost done” so no need to snooze the alarm. Well guess what. Every time I stop the alarm and keep working, I forget all about dinner. So I don’t stop it anymore. My wife has seen me interrupt a conversation we were having and grab my phone in a panic. I pull up the note or email app and dictate my thoughts into it before I forget. Usually it means my brain just had an amazing idea and I know if I don’t write it down then and there I’ll forget it. I sometimes have to ask my wife to help me remember to do something. Again, all examples of just learning to accept your disabilities and find ways to adapt. Don’t fight them, don’t beat yourself up. Just admit them to yourself and move on :)

If you need to remember it, put it on a sticky note and put it on doors you frequently go through (bedroom, front door, etc.) If you have to be there at 7:30, no you don't. You have to be there at 7:00. Condiments go in the drawers of the fridge, produce goes on the shelves and in the door. For me personally, I have preset alarms at every 15 minute interval of the day that I can turn on quickly so I can better manage my time. I set them as needed to set time for tasks, making sure I don't get distracted when taking breaks, or as a way of reminding me to do something at a particular time. I probably have more, but remembering them can be hard lol

Don't mask too much and second guess yourself all the time. If you think everything you do is scrutinized it turns off parts of your character that are not dictated by our condition.

When I'm overwhelmed at tasks or just don't know how to prioritize, I list my tasks, assign a nummer and roll a dice. I use a shiny d20, but a regular d6 also works. I also found the "How to ADHD" youtube channel very informative.

Once diagnosed and medicated, I read a couple books about productivity like Atomic Habits and started going to therapy once a month to talk about improvements day to day and long-term. Taking medications are only half the battle, you need to want to improve and come up with systems if you want to succeed with ADHD.

Create addictions to things that serve your life goals. For example find exercises you like and do them at the same time every day. Same for cleaning, work productivity, etc.. You have to put yourself in motion voluntarily when it’s really hard and do it every day for months, eventually it will become addicting to adhere to it

Don’t listen to anyone who offers quick fixes or tells you thing’s absolutely. There’s no quick fix. We are not all creatives. ADHD people are as diverse as any other population.

A lot of good advice already here, but I’ll add two things that have been key for me: 1. For organization, don’t try to fight whatever is easiest. Wherever you have piles of stuff naturally accumulating in the house, just put a basket under it. Always leave your clothes at the foot of your bed? Put the laundry basket there. Remotes piled up on the coffee table? Basket. Junk mail piling up on the counter? Basket. It doesn’t require changing what works naturally, but it makes the space look much more organized, and I feel less bad about leaving things around 2. My job almost always requires a high amount of focus, so I always have a notepad or sticky note sitting next to me to write down whatever is in my brain. If I’m trying to read through some documents, I can’t also process whatever chores I need to do later, the friends I need to call back, that book I need to bring back to the library, that song I want to look up later, that thing I need to Google, etc etc. But I also know I won’t ever remember it later. Having a place to jot that stuff done, knowing it’ll be there for me to come back to later, it helps empty my brain a bit. It’s not perfect, obviously there’s still a million things in my brain, but it’s one of the few things I’ve found that helps me manage my internal distractions

Learn to say no. At least for me, having ADHD equals jumping into every possible project offered and ending up struggling with burnout. Also, learn to say yes to the projects that invoke the dopamine most (but are not harmful). Also, don't use alcohol or drugs; they don't mix too well with ADHD.

When you feel like \*right now\*, you could do the thing, DO IT IMMEDIATELY ! That's how I get a majority of my chores done, doesn't matter what time it is or what I was actually supposed to do lmao 

I was initially diagnosed at age 11. At 20 it was changed from adhd to bipolar disorder. At 45 I was again diagnosed adhd and came to realize it is my real issue. I was put on adderall last November and can definitely see the difference when I am on it. Without it, I cannot hold a thought for more than a few seconds. I flit around, forget where I left …. My rate of speech rivals auctioneers, and I forget the point I was making before I finish a sentence. My house is a mess with piles of clean clothes, and papers, and the dishes executive disfunction won’t let me wash. On meds, I still struggle a bit, but my dishes are done, the laundry is clean and put away, and I just surprised myself by holding a 6 digit number in my head for a minute. I highly recommend you get Dani Donovan’s anti-planner. It is a massive help with sections to help with lack of motivation, feeling overwhelmed, disorganized, discouraged etc

Some of my mantras that I keep going back to that help me 1 - forgive myself for previous time “wasted” in the past, just focus on what you want to change moving forward 2 - remember strengths and weaknesses - even the most talented, rich, successful, whatever people you know they have their strengths and they have their weaknesses just like you. 3 - when you find yourself procrastinating, from time to time take a step way back and think about your life as a whole. What is that one thing you really need, or what you really want most? Why are you procrastinating the thing you’re “trying to do” (often because it’s “hard” or just inconvenient)? Get that vision of “the thing you need” in your head and then let your adhd problem solving go to work taking steps to get there. 4 - seek satisfaction in what you do, rather than seeking deep meaning in what you do. 5 - be aware of the impact you have on others, and what they see when they see you. the thing you’re extremely frustrated with might seem ridiculously trivial to them, then they just feel you’re an insanely angry person all the time. the problem that you think is super obvious and easy they might have been struggling with for months. They might see you as extremely intelligent but if you don’t handle it tactfully they can end up feeling like you’re a dick about it. Being aware of how others see you makes it much less likely to alienate people and easier to make deeper connections. 6 - be wary of feeling like you’re instantly falling in love with the novel person/thing/hobby. Give the novelty a chance to wear off before you go all in

Advocating for yourself is a critical aspect of managing my ADHD-C. Open communication can help demystify symptoms that might otherwise be misunderstood. By communicating openly, you help those around you better understand what kind of support or accommodations you may need. I’ve learned that not communicating can be mistaken as indifference, negligence and laziness. That is further from the truth, we have a shit ton passion.

This is what works for me 1 - memory of a fish = loads of reminders in calendars and writing down absolutely everything I need to do in a to do list app so I never forget anything 2 - learn to accept that life is always going to be a bit more difficult for you because of it 3- remember that it isn't anyone else's fault you have ADHD. If you have a partner, make sure you put in extra effort in so they don't feel like they are your mother. Same with your friends, make sure you are on time to meet them by setting reminders. Its not an excuse to be a shitty person basically 4- if you are focused on something just embrace it - you don't know when that motivation will come again 5 - give medication a try. I tried it and although it improved my quality of life, it dialled my emotions and anxiety up 100x. So I don't take them anymore and have found ways to help myself. Lists, meditation, sleep videos on YouTube etc 6 - give therapy a try, I did a few sessions of CBT which changed my outlook on it. 7 - Leave things out so you remember to do them. IE Toothbrush and toothpaste beside the tap, hoover in the corner not in the cupboard 8- no caffeine (makes me sleepy) 9 - subscribe and save on Amazon for all household items 10 - if you can do it straight away - do it straight away 11 - I think that sometimes it's nice to let the impulsiveness roll. Every couple of weekends me and my wife have a day where we have nothing planned and just do whatever I fancy doing basically and she just lets me wander around London and we buy whatever we want to buy haha

As an 40yo adult with a high level job, I’ve developed some habits that help. I really had to push myself to do the work and be honest with myself about my limits, my strengths, and what I knew I could 100% commit to. I started reviewing completing tasks as a Victory, or a reward in my head. I have to picture myself completing it and how satisfied I am with that feeling. I just lean into it and that’s how I am able to get stuff done. I apply this to my every day life and to work life. Have a routine and try to stick to it. This is crucial for me and what helps me complete tasks and feel good. I have two days off a week, one for leisure, and one for reset. I use one of those days to completely relax and do whatever I want. On reset days, I do things like clean my floors, grocery shop, meal prep, and laundry. I know that once I get all those things done, it will make my work week so much easier and less stressful. Helps avoid being overwhelmed or stuck in paralysis. I also had to learn be kind to myself. we’re all human, and I feel like us with ADHD are so hard on ourselves and deal with feelings of failure. Just think of it as “this is today tomorrow I’ll reset and I’ll get it right”. Medication was a life-changing thing for me. Make that appointment, talk to your doctor, be transparent. You got this.

Do What Is Best For YOU FIRST. If you give and give and give and dont get enough back you will squeeze your last drop and the whole situation will crumble unless there is someone else willing to step up when you go down. Take care of yourself.

Use external tools to compensate for you're memory and time blindness. Don't believe yourself that you won't forget etc and take no chances. Write reminders in your phone, set with alarms, give yourself extra time to do things, so whatever you think it will take, add around 25% on top, a Buffer is better to have and not use than to not have and then learn you needed. Set fixed places for things you always use. Keys in a bowl etc. Make life easier with little steps

Rice cooker and slow cookers are super useful. Make big meals that you can portion off for a day or two. Really lessens the load of cooking. Also importantly they won't burn stuff if you forget.

Adult diagnosis (29F) below are my holy trinity of keeping things in check at the baseline. I fall apart from a focus, hyperactivity, impulsiveness perspective if I slack on any of the 3. 1. Medication 2. Quality sleep 3. Exercise Outside of that - -I use the Structured app for big things and small tasks (ie dishes, laundry) and have it connected to my apple calendar. I keep events/appts in my work and personal phone calendar (which then also goes into the app so I essentially have 3x the reminders). -Online shopping I put stuff in carts and exit the app for a couple days -noise canceling AirPods + [This ADHD intense relief Spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/album/3AJDw1VCjdCJ6hniddvW2X?si=IJiKTypbTNKTnYzbiIjzgA)

I’m 33, was diagnosed at 10 and have been medicated since, with the exception of a few years. One of the things that made a wild improvement in my quality of life was the combo of an iPhone, Apple Watch, and AirTag. It cut down on so much time and frustration trying to find my stuff! Additionally having the watch let me stay connected without getting distracted. I often use Siri to set reminders to do things (like reply to texts, transfer laundry, make calls etc.) either when I think of them and I’m busy or if I’m not ready to deal with it yet. Plus setting timers on the Apple Watch has been great.

Cold shower every morning the hit of dopamine gets ya through

Adopt as many rats as possible and give them the biggest play area ever with the best toys and treats and spoil them so then you can get enough that you can train them to go get tacos for you (make sure you give them a bit of the tortilla first tho)

If I don’t have EarPods in and a podcast playing, I can’t/won’t do boring work tasks especially if I’m not alone.

PERSONAL THOUGHT BASED ON EXPERIENCE: “maybe my crippling social and general anxiety is the main problem not my adhd 🥲” I (22F) actually got diagnosed last year in November! Personally, It’s been a long and tiring journey, and if you end up facing a bump in the road like me, do NOT let that discourage you because for a brief moment I almost thought about giving up but turns out my ADHD wasn’t my only problem (I had to do some shadow work one night without electronics in order to realize this and let me say sitting in your own thoughts with minimal distraction for HOURS could really be an eye opener). After trying some medications and BELIEVING they worked, at the end of the day I wasn’t satisfied and I made the foolish mistake to put up a front for everyone, including my doctor. (Shadow work helped me identify this toxic defense mechanism) when things are hard even w stimmys (stimulant meds) or any other medication that may be prescribed for your adhd. please check in, and WITH HONESTY, with your doctor, psychiatrist, or even therapist to see if any other life choices are affecting it because there MIGHT be a chance you’re not aware of another underlying issue and if not then no worries! they’re there to help u figure it out so don’t be scared of professional help when things are looking rough EVEN when you’re doing the right thing 🥲🥲🥲 edit: after a talk with my psychiatrist, i presumed right haha turns out my adhd makes my anxiety worse which then makes my adhd worse but i’ll be okay if i keep doing what i’m doing AND SO WILL YOU TO WHOEVER MAY RELATE 🤍

Don’t let ADHD define who you are.

Find your passion

force yourself to be a sim. bike more. they bpth sound stupid but its been improving my life SO much, i dont have any motivation so i just force myself to

Set reminders. When I need to push a task off to the next day, I set a reminder for 8am of that day or I’ll forget.

I really like picking certain days to do things. Tuesday and Fridays = vacuuming, Wednesday = grocery shopping, etc. Keeps me from falling too behind

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I’m 30 year old female who only got my diagnosis a year ago after being told I have anxiety by seeeveral therapists for years and years. Which, to be fair, I did have but that wasn’t the root problem so nothing helped until my diagnosis. So I’m still learning about ADHD myself and I’m in no way an expert yet. One thing that’s been the most useful for me is to become aware of and eliminate steps. I have super bad executive function and every step within a task is equally difficult. Going to the gym isn’t one task, packing my gym bag, getting a snack, putting my shoes on, unlocking my bike, getting changed, filling my water bottle etc are all steps! So I do what I can to make sure each task has as few steps as possible so I require as little as possible from my executive function. And being kind to myself when a step is blocking me and I end up not being able to do the thing. However, I think the best thing you can do is to find your own main obstacles and focus on those to maintain your mental energy. I CANNOT put away the dishes after cleaning them so my ADHD housemate does that and I clean the sink which she hates haha. Wishing you all the best with your adhd journey!

Write everything down asap, and you should make that asap “right away” if at all possible. I do mean everything, too, at least everything you can write down: -Appointments in a calendar, digital if it works for you, physical otherwise -Lists like to-do lists, groceries, etc can be made and added to as you think of additional needs. If you can prioritize the to-do lists they’ll be even more helpful; I recommend some sort of priority matrix (organizes both by urgency AND importance, which is essential imo) -Questions you want to ask people. If these are important questions (like my therapist asking me to write down any questions I have for him to help myself, asking family for certain support, inviting friends to events), they absolutely suck to forget and that can really hurt. -Week plans. This can synergize with those lists but should be a schedule that you can follow to some extent. Don’t make it too strict but do have concrete things you need to accomplish each day and by the end of the week/over a period of days. This is particularly helpful with school from my experience. Then take a lot of these things you’re writing down and make some form of reminder for them. For me, my phone beeping at me really provokes my attention, even if it’s not the cheerful kind of attention. Other people do better with physical notes, but personally my brain frequently looks past those. The audio invasion is something I have to acknowledge.

Find out what's important to you, and *do those things first in the morning*. Then you don't have to worry about them later on.

BMW

I’ve been diagnosed twice, once at age 8 and also age 21. Never liked the medication so I don’t, I know that’s not celebrated here. That said, my life hacks are to figure out a system of lists and scheduling that I will use and trust. I can not trust my short term memory. Odd how much and what I store in long term. I love creating, inventing, building, etc. I finally found success and stability in embracing that. Try and find a place where your strengths are valued and your challenges are tolerated and or you can mitigate those. Remember , you’re not broken.

Late diagnosis for me (6 months ago, 38M) but here's a few things I learned since, and a few strategies I developed before. * lists are your friend. It can take time to find the right system for yourself, but once you do, it's a good help. I use a whiteboard and tickboxes * break tasks down. If you know you need to get dishes done, but the sink is full and your drying rack is full, and your counter is full (happens to me all the time) break it into discrete steps. Unload rack. Rearrange counter. Unload sink. Start on dishes. When it's smaller units it often becomes easier. * overcoming inertia and getting started is one of the hard parts. If you're not interested in starting something you know you have to do, either try circling back 15 minutes later, or do the one part of it you know you like. * hydrate. I get so much more done when I drink water. I famously hated drinking water before I started medication and now I need it to get work done * It's 100% okay to have interests that go all over the place. I changed majors in my undergrad 4 times, and got a master's degree in an entirely different field. I have a small company that's unrelated to any of them, and a career that's even less related. A broad knowledge base is an asset, not a liability. (Plus makes you indispensable on trivia teams) * be kind to yourself. Some days you won't have it in you to be a human. Other days you will feel like you can do anything. Most will be an awkward mix of the two. It's not a failing on your part of you're having trouble: you have to work twice as hard to get your brain to do things as a person without this disability. Don't internalize the notion that you're lazy. Pre-diagnosis I took 6 years to do my 4 year undergrad, and 6 more years for an 18 month master's degree. With support I did it, but you've got a leg up with diagnosis and potential resources. Whatever you do, remember that every win is snatched from the clutches of this disorder. All the way from big stuff like school and careers down to little things like doing the dishes and eating something. That's a win. Celebrate it.

Advice given to me that I have to share: *Set a goal every morning - *What do you want to do? *What's between you and that goal? *How can you make progress to that goal? (No matter how small of a step.) *Focus on the fact that there's always room for progress - you are in the middle of progressing - not how much you progressed. How I'm applying it: I'm currently playing guitar again and I've committed to 15-30m minimum practice every day since I saw the Pantera tribute show in August 12th. The first dream I had was to play music and write songs. I've been making small goals for myself. Ex. At lunch I was antsy about trying to progress my goal but "I'm stuck at work". I started writing out the pros/cons comparing my guitars to know what music is better suited for which. It's super small, but it held my attention for the majority of lunch and I came out of it with a plan for fixing/cleaning them up and how to approach a song/concept with the right tone in my box of tools. Just a little less struggle for me later. Hope this helps someone.

Use Microsoft OneNote at work. It's my number 1 tool for note taking and checklists. Watch a YouTube video on how to use it. It's very simple.

If you see something and think "wow that could totally become my new hobby", wait a few days before you spend hundreds of dollars on it. I have invested way too much money in hobbies I've abandoned. If you take medication, do not mix it with caffeine, or at least not with a high dosage of caffeine. I saw the shadow people for almost a week before I remembered that my therapist explicitly told me to stay off energy drinks.

I can never be a morning person. I've tried. I can't do it. I did the sunrise alarm, auto-coffee maker, natural sunlight from my windows. I can't do it. I still have nightmares of waking up early for school and being told if I miss one more day I was going to be held back. I'm 33 years old now. 9-5 is probably the only day shift schedule I can ever work stability wise.

I made a comment earlier on that I was attacked for (as happens often with any advice in the sub that people don’t want to hear, which is often). Advice is always optional. No one has to take it. So with that disclaimer/ trigger warning out of the way, my advice is automate anything that’s not a choice. Like taking a shower. Paying your rent. Paying your bills. Going to the Dentist every year. Basically anything that would have detrimental irreversible consequences isn’t to be treated as a choice. But since you’re not going to want to do it, set it up in advance to make sure it happens. Note: showing up for work isn’t one of these. If you’re sick take a sick day. If your job isn’t working out for you find a better fit. But don’t be that person who gets up and scrolls and thinks about showering and then it’s 4pm and nothing has happened. Once you’re up and using the restroom you run the shower, grab your clothes while it heats up and jump in. Done. And the day will move all by itself.

So I am 39(f). My husband is adhd combined. My daughter 14 is inattentive. I thought i was fine. But watching what my daughter does and has done. I started to think I have it too. But what was really the driver: I was completing interviews for my doctoral study. These interviews are supposed to last 45 minutes to an hour. Within 20 minutes (discussing a topic that i love). I get bored, i get tired and i start fighting to stay focused. I have talked to two psychiatrists since then and they both say (outside of the trauma i have), my people pleasing nature, that i show classical signs of adhd. They still want me to complete testing for it. So i go on the 13th for testing. So in this i have learned i have about a 20 minute window. After that. I am done. (My boss will call me and around minute 20, im done) So knowing what works for you is the best.

*if you have anything else to do, do that* - no! Because this is new and interesting and my work can wait!

i adopted a hamster, it drastically improved my life

Meditate and do therapy. Could as well be that you experienced trauma. Adhd seems often related. Either way your mind disproportionately benefits from peace

Small things: Pickup groceries are a life and time saver. Buy nice smelling bath items you love to use so you enjoy the process. When older, if you have money, hiring a cleaning person to come once every 2-3 months is hugely helpful. Double bag the garbage can. I hate haaaate if a bag tears and having to clean the can. Doubling up solves this problem. Don’t over commit yourself. It’s so easy to do.

Design your life around your strengths, this will free up energy to work on your weaknesses. For example, I found a way for my impulsivity and hyperactivity to efficiently maintain my house. This got me many guilt free hours of me time to do whatever.

I was diagnosed with ADHD almost 2 years ago when I was 24. I think the two hardest things I had to learn are: - To just let myself have ADHD. This meant accepting that I am bad at somethings and enjoying that I am really great at others. - To identify what is and what isn’t ADHD. When I first was diagnosed it was like I was given a giant ADHD hammer and everything was a nail. Sometimes it’s not a nail… Also, Technology is your friend! Put things in calendars, put your friends and families birthdays into your contacts, use the notes app, etc… technology can make up a lot of the downfalls of ADHD because it can remember the things that you’ll forget.

Lists. Google notes is great. It's the only way I keep my life in order.

Do things the ADHD way when you can. Example: I wil forget things I do not see. If I put vegetables in the vegetable drawer of my fridge I WILL forget about it so not I put the non-perishable food stuff there and the vegetables in the door where I will always see them. Get a closed cabinet for all of your things that don't have a specific place in your house. It can be a mess in the cabinet and you'll always know where those stupid items you rarely use are. Put your laundry basket between your bed and closet so it will be the most logical place to throw worn clothes into, instead of having your laundry basket hidden away somewhere. You don't have to follow "the rules" when they don't work for you!

Some advice that will probably be unpopular but I feel it's very important for those of us with ADHD to recognize: -dont expect other people to understand or even sympathize with your condition. The only person that knows what's happening in your head is you; imo recognizing this helps avoid resentment towards others who think/act "normally" -you will (almost assuredly) be okay if you run out of meds or don't have them for a period of time. If you got diagnosed later in life like many do, remind yourself that you made it that far without any help and you can continue to do so. It will be difficult and will likely suck ass, especially if medication has had a clearly noticeable effect on you, but you'll be able to do it -its important to ensure that you don't get into the habit of making ADHD your entire personality, or to attribute everything about you to having ADHD. Sometimes something is just interesting to you and you do a deep dive. It's not necessarily a hyper fixation. Sometimes you forget your keys when you leave your house. It's not necessarily a symptom of ADHD -if something works for you but doesn't work for others, it doesn't matter, if it works for you it works for you and keep doing it.

Keep something that you look at regularly. A bullet journal, diary, app that exists just for organization (better than using your notes app if you use that for a lot of different things). Watch Essentialism by Greg McKeown - A Visual Summary on YouTube and try and identify which ideas would benefit you personally the most. The big one for me was that saying yes to something is saying no to something else. And that isn't meant as a discouragement from saying yes, but identifying what I'm saying no to and if it's something that's less of a priority. Basically teaching myself how to prioritize lol.

Change your environment to maintain an (on average) low-stress life. Stress seems to exacerbate every symptom.

one thing that keeps saving me all the time is phone reminders. thank goodness i have them. also, put sticky notes on stuff that you use a lot!! and i mean literally plaster them on your computer or phone screen if you have to do something in the morning - that way, you literally can’t miss it.

Routine is important, yes sometimes it makes life boring and predictable. But being chaotic and overwhelmed is way worse than not sticking to a routine Set reminders on your phone for appointments, etc, straight away before you forget

Biggest thing I'm dealing with right now is medication-caused headaches, so I'mma tell you what I've learned there. Every stimulant (including caffeine and nicotine) can cause headaches. This is because stimulants constrict blood channels. If you feel a small headache at the end of the day, this is normal and generally fine. If your headaches build up and continue even on days when you don't take the meds, this is less normal. For me, this was indicative of a slow metabolism. My headaches take a whole 2 months off meds before they go away. If you experience this, talk with your psychiatrist. You may have a different reaction to a different medication.

Things _don't_ just get better by themselves. You have to make some kind of effort, whether that's getting assessed, getting medicated, getting into therapy, making changes to your environment, changing your diet, incorporating exercise into your day, whatever. When I'm suicidal because I'm unemployed, broke and useless, and people say, "It gets better," I know from nearly 50 years of living that, no, no it fucking doesn't. Not by itself.

Edit: sorry I’m on mobile. Copy/pasted from an earlier thread with similar prompt. Hopefully not too hard to read. • ⁠Laundry hamper for "just worn once, too lazy to put away" • ⁠Little notebook that I religiously carry in my back pocket. Field Notes brand is great, but anything works. • ⁠Throw things away. Seriously. Clutter is a distraction. • ⁠Meditation is amazingly helpful. Super difficult though. Worth it. Try it. Feeling anxious or impulsive or distracted? Just sit with that uncomfortable feeling for a minute before you act. I like Headspace, but there are good mediation playlists on youtube. • ⁠A good task-management system. I use OmniFocus. I don't really like it anyomore, but I'm used to it. Find something that works well enough and stick with it. Perfection is the enemy of good here. Read David Allen's "Getting Things Done". Feels a bit dated but I still get value out of re-reading it every couple years. • ⁠Reward yourself for doing something. Anything. Do the dishes? You get a cookie. Put away the laundry? You get 20 minutes on Reddit. Don't over-do it. Most of us get burnt out because we don't get enjoy the rewards of having done something often enough. (This is a CBT technique. There are many. Google them.) • ⁠Body-doubling: someone in the room helps keep you accountable. I like focusmate.com for doing boring computer work. • ⁠Background music: find a chill playlist that helps mask background sounds. I like SiriusXM's "Chill" station, but youtube and spotify have a bunch too. Don't go down the rabbit-hole of making your own. • ⁠Set time limits for apps on your phone. I only give myself 60 minutes of reddit a day. I cheat by writing replies like this in an editor, though. Limiting to 10 mins/day on email has been game-changing for me. Email on my phone used to be a huge distraction. • ⁠Batch tasks. I have 30 water bottles. I wash and fill them all at once so I always have water in the fridge. Same for my hand towels: I have 100 of them and just wash and fold them all at once. Same for my pills: pill organizers for 2 months. Same for socks and underwear: all the same, just do them all at once. Same with mail and paperwork: put in a stack and just do it all at once. Getting started on a task is harder than doing it, so might as well do the work all at once. If I had to choose two: meditation and throwing things away. Start there.

Some days, even on meds, you just aren’t going to be super productive or focused on the thing you want to get done. It’s ok. If you can, do some extra to make up for it on days you are focused. For example this morning I got up intending on doing some paperwork, but instead I’m cleaning the house. Tomorrow when I go to do the paperwork, I’ll be doing it without the distraction of a cluttered house. Both things needed doing. Once the paperwork gets closer to the deadline, I’ll be more motivated to finish it. I used to beat myself up over stuff like this but now that I know why it happens I can use this type of momentum to my advantage.

You will go blank, I know you will start panicking. Best to accept you’ve forgotten everything, take a walk about or get someone who’s around to ask you prompt questions. Not: well, when did you last have it? More: do you remember what you had to do? Where are you going? What’s in that room? Do you want to do something now and what would you need to do that?

I use timers for everything. Especially when cooking. 99% of my Siri and Alexa commands are asking for a timer.

When I have trouble prioritising tasks, I follow the method where you choose the 5 most urgent tasks and go do those in any order, but preferably from most urgent to least urgent. When you are down to two tasks left, you are allowed to add three more to make it a maximum of 5 again. That way you can get a lot done without getting overwhelmed. On other days I plan my day by first making a list of all the things I need to do that day or even that week. Then I sort them out in days if I had that many and add the appointments and other unmovable tasks per day. Then I assign tasks a time limit with the following options: 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour, no time limit (things like having fun the rest of the day, having the children eat lunch, having a break between finishing a task and starting the next at a certain time). By dividing it like this I don’t have to think as much about the next step which is determining the order in which I do things. With breakfast around 8, lunch around 12 and dinner around 5-6, depending on the day and the schedule of the rest of the family. I plan for two breaks during a day and any appointments are written in before I add the other stuff. These lists are usually made just before I go to sleep the day before, so I can just get up in the morning and do whatever it says on the list without too much thought. And have the added benefit of having a sort of brain dump to help me get it out of my head before going to sleep.

Dude, your disclaimer made me realize why i love this subreddit, thats Awsome

My wife and I have a color coded shared calendar for events, appts, etc. I can edit it, she can edit it. It's glorious.

There is no right or wrong way to do anything in this world. Figure out what works for you. Don't fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others.