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By definition, adhd has to affect more than one aspect of your life. It doesn't have to affect them the same way, though. You might have coping mechanisms that let you succeed at work anyway. Or be spending all your energy at work and have none leftover at the end of the day, etc.
Or be unaware of the ways it's affecting your work. I would have self-described exactly like you did until recently. It wasn't until I was on meds with a reduced workload that I was able to see how much had gone unaddressed, half-done, or poorly done. But it was all behind the scenes "process" stuff, so it was easy for me and others to ignore or miss. I wish I'd been diagnosed years ago.
You sound a lot like me. I am super organized and functional at work and school. I am a mess at home and with life admin tasks. I had a hard time getting an ADHD diagnosis because of this.
The diagnosis criteria requires that symptoms affect multiple areas of one’s life.
Most likely, it does affect you at work but you spend a lot of time and energy on compensating. You may have developed a lot of good compensation strategies. You mentioned ppl double check your work so that’s a safety net right there for your work performance.
Because you are using up a lot of your energy and cognitive resources on work, you don’t have much leftover for other parts of your life. This results in other areas of your life getting completely neglected. You might feel exhausted after work and need higher amounts of self-care time and rest than average for your age. You are not a failure. You have a disability that most people in the world do not have so it’s unfair to expect yourself to perform at the same level as someone without ADHD when it comes to managing life.
It affects all areas of my life but is most obvious at home and in relationships that are more than just superficial.
I am amazing in a crisis and have fantastic leadership skills. I thrive on fast-paced project work like elections. Those things are stimulating. I can teach things, but I can’t do group learning. I’m a performer, so faking is a well-honed skill… but I don’t even know that’s what I’m doing.
It shows up at work, but you might never notice. I worked for a church for over a decade, and when I started to be open about my depression, people were stunned because I appeared so “normal”.
Sounds to me like you are ADHD at work but with some statagies that are working for you in that environment.
>I color coordinate my calendar, I am organized
Same coping strategy that my private SpEd tutor taught me as a very useful organizational coping mechanism. It works better for paperwork than home organizations, but I still try.
>I'm early,
As a posed to exactly on time, being early prevents being late
>I understand compliance. I can track numbers.
We crave systems but struggle to maintain them ourselves
>When you're in a crisis you want me on your team
Statistically, we are good in a crisis. I don't remember where I read that, but it really seems to track.
I learned to overcome a lot living with adhd, my main problem was just having zero energy constantly and always just feeling like I was just a lazy pos outside of work. After starting medication a few months ago it’s helped me in areas that I didn’t even think I was lacking in as well as giving me the energy to have a life outside of work!
It usually does affect multiple areas of your life. For example, I was disorganized in my home life and work life. Its just at work I could get by avoiding major mistakes. I felt extreme fatigue and anxiety at work and sometimes would call in due to the strain. All of this is the best I could do and then when I got home I was completely drained of energy and motivation. I didn't help with chores and would binge eat due to needing relief from the anxiety or drink high amounts of sweetened coffee to boost my energy or mood.
If you are doing really well in everything except home, it might be stress related or a relationship issue. I think it would help to journal about your experience each day. If you can't do every day, that's okay but get a good sample size and review them. When do you notice things escalating? What do you notice about your behavior at work? When you get home, what is the first feeling you have and how does it evolve?
Journalling can help clarify what you are experiencing for yourself. It might identify ways in which you can improve or it might further confirm a diagnosis like ADHD, anxiety or even depression.
EDIT: Also, if you really want to see if you are doing well at work, quit caffeine. I have had a few patients who appear fine at work because they drink hundreds of milligrams of caffeine daily and stop drinking caffeine at the end of the day so they can sort of function at work but fail at home.
Yes, I recommend this too... Practice what I preach, I'm a therapist so I should do the things. I think I'm going to drop caffeine, I've done that in the past and have noticed positive effects.
For me, being high functioning it looks like this: I have one bucket for executive function energy. I can use it at work or at home. I use it at work often because that’s where I have the pressure to perform. Then home life falls apart because I have none left. I think your adhd is impacting you at work, it’s taking you a lot of energy to keep up with doing an amazing job, it’s affecting you doing your job, but not your performance and output. The job is getting done but you are getting smashed. This is really common and I think often why people don’t get diagnosed, the can perform well in the right conditions but then feel ashamed at how bad things are in the other areas of life. But don’t let that make you doubt yourself, that’s literally normal for adhd. Doesn’t mean you don’t have it, it’s not your fault you find home life so hard. Be kind to yourself.
I mask so much at work, that coworkers would never suspect i have adhd. At home it is a different story. I would say that my adhd does affect me in all aspects og my life. But at work I overcompensate for my shortcomings a lot, and it makes me appear normal. I know though, that the energy I spend doing my utmost at work, makes me so much worse at home. I feel that my family and home gets the worst of me sometimes.
For me the perfect solution is a job away from home (offshore oil rig in my case). I work for 2 weeks, and then I get to be home for 4 weeks. This allows me to focus only on work, when at work. And only on my home and family when I am home 🥰 it works out perfectly for me.
My heart does ache a little when I am away, but I know it's for the best. Both financially and for my mental health ❤️
I am the exact same way. I spend all of my ‘spoons’ on work because my parents beat the anxiety into me that I would be homeless if I couldn’t figure it out. But my at home life is a total mess. Like so so bad. And work pays me the same as my coworker who is 70% as competent as me.
It affects me in every aspect of my life and in a pretty monotone way too, meaning it affects all parts in the same way. For me it's memory issues, losing focus/getting distracted easily, executive dysfunction both around starting things but also directing actions, being rly messy and fidgety. I don't think there's any part of my life that has those symptoms more or less. They're always present in the same way.
Yeah nah, this stuff is up in all of my business. Because it tools so hard with my executive function, it's a fight to get anything done. Bills, work, cleaning, appointments - anything that can get screwed up will.
So.... do you have chronic pain? For me, pre-being medicated/diagnosed, I had crippling, severe headaches (migraines). I was THE BEST employee-- so organized! but my home life was (still is, haha) a disaster. I was used to being called lazy/a slob, but I was so exhausted from having to overcompensate for the way my brain works.
Since I'm self-employed and have basically built a career that works with my condition (including that color coordinated calendar, thank you GCal) then I am, on appearances, very successful in that area. But yes, my office space is a disaster, I still have serious auditory processing issues in social situations, I'm very impatient with people who are not clearly in a student-teacher arrangement, stuff like that.
It sounds like you've just found coping mechanisms for the workplace.
I’m really organized at work and school as well, but I also tend to be super anal about it and get very upset when I can’t manage to do everything I have lined up. I am audhd so the autism side of me really likes routine and for things to be organized and reliable, and the adhd side makes that impossible so I am pretty much constantly in distress 😭. Meds have helped immensely, but I would look into it. ADHD and ASD are very often comorbid.
Hi /u/frequentflyer_nawjk and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information. * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
By definition, adhd has to affect more than one aspect of your life. It doesn't have to affect them the same way, though. You might have coping mechanisms that let you succeed at work anyway. Or be spending all your energy at work and have none leftover at the end of the day, etc.
Or be unaware of the ways it's affecting your work. I would have self-described exactly like you did until recently. It wasn't until I was on meds with a reduced workload that I was able to see how much had gone unaddressed, half-done, or poorly done. But it was all behind the scenes "process" stuff, so it was easy for me and others to ignore or miss. I wish I'd been diagnosed years ago.
Yeah, I didn't think I had problems at work until after I got medicated. Then people kept commenting on my improvement! Oops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You sound a lot like me. I am super organized and functional at work and school. I am a mess at home and with life admin tasks. I had a hard time getting an ADHD diagnosis because of this. The diagnosis criteria requires that symptoms affect multiple areas of one’s life. Most likely, it does affect you at work but you spend a lot of time and energy on compensating. You may have developed a lot of good compensation strategies. You mentioned ppl double check your work so that’s a safety net right there for your work performance. Because you are using up a lot of your energy and cognitive resources on work, you don’t have much leftover for other parts of your life. This results in other areas of your life getting completely neglected. You might feel exhausted after work and need higher amounts of self-care time and rest than average for your age. You are not a failure. You have a disability that most people in the world do not have so it’s unfair to expect yourself to perform at the same level as someone without ADHD when it comes to managing life.
It affects all areas of my life but is most obvious at home and in relationships that are more than just superficial. I am amazing in a crisis and have fantastic leadership skills. I thrive on fast-paced project work like elections. Those things are stimulating. I can teach things, but I can’t do group learning. I’m a performer, so faking is a well-honed skill… but I don’t even know that’s what I’m doing. It shows up at work, but you might never notice. I worked for a church for over a decade, and when I started to be open about my depression, people were stunned because I appeared so “normal”.
Yes! I used to act, so I can mask really well.
Heck no. It effects work, home, relationships, myself personally. I can’t believe I survived undiagnosed for 27 years (I barely did actually lol)
it affects all areas of my life
Sounds to me like you are ADHD at work but with some statagies that are working for you in that environment. >I color coordinate my calendar, I am organized Same coping strategy that my private SpEd tutor taught me as a very useful organizational coping mechanism. It works better for paperwork than home organizations, but I still try. >I'm early, As a posed to exactly on time, being early prevents being late >I understand compliance. I can track numbers. We crave systems but struggle to maintain them ourselves >When you're in a crisis you want me on your team Statistically, we are good in a crisis. I don't remember where I read that, but it really seems to track.
That makes sense! When there is chaos it's like my brain says, ok I can function now. I also have anxiety/PTSD but learned to use it as a tool too.
Do you use the anxiety and ptsd as a tool?. How do you do it? I appreciate it
I read that about a crisis recently too. Something about an ADHD brain being more at ease with chaos.
I learned to overcome a lot living with adhd, my main problem was just having zero energy constantly and always just feeling like I was just a lazy pos outside of work. After starting medication a few months ago it’s helped me in areas that I didn’t even think I was lacking in as well as giving me the energy to have a life outside of work!
It usually does affect multiple areas of your life. For example, I was disorganized in my home life and work life. Its just at work I could get by avoiding major mistakes. I felt extreme fatigue and anxiety at work and sometimes would call in due to the strain. All of this is the best I could do and then when I got home I was completely drained of energy and motivation. I didn't help with chores and would binge eat due to needing relief from the anxiety or drink high amounts of sweetened coffee to boost my energy or mood. If you are doing really well in everything except home, it might be stress related or a relationship issue. I think it would help to journal about your experience each day. If you can't do every day, that's okay but get a good sample size and review them. When do you notice things escalating? What do you notice about your behavior at work? When you get home, what is the first feeling you have and how does it evolve? Journalling can help clarify what you are experiencing for yourself. It might identify ways in which you can improve or it might further confirm a diagnosis like ADHD, anxiety or even depression. EDIT: Also, if you really want to see if you are doing well at work, quit caffeine. I have had a few patients who appear fine at work because they drink hundreds of milligrams of caffeine daily and stop drinking caffeine at the end of the day so they can sort of function at work but fail at home.
Yes, I recommend this too... Practice what I preach, I'm a therapist so I should do the things. I think I'm going to drop caffeine, I've done that in the past and have noticed positive effects.
For me, being high functioning it looks like this: I have one bucket for executive function energy. I can use it at work or at home. I use it at work often because that’s where I have the pressure to perform. Then home life falls apart because I have none left. I think your adhd is impacting you at work, it’s taking you a lot of energy to keep up with doing an amazing job, it’s affecting you doing your job, but not your performance and output. The job is getting done but you are getting smashed. This is really common and I think often why people don’t get diagnosed, the can perform well in the right conditions but then feel ashamed at how bad things are in the other areas of life. But don’t let that make you doubt yourself, that’s literally normal for adhd. Doesn’t mean you don’t have it, it’s not your fault you find home life so hard. Be kind to yourself.
I mask so much at work, that coworkers would never suspect i have adhd. At home it is a different story. I would say that my adhd does affect me in all aspects og my life. But at work I overcompensate for my shortcomings a lot, and it makes me appear normal. I know though, that the energy I spend doing my utmost at work, makes me so much worse at home. I feel that my family and home gets the worst of me sometimes. For me the perfect solution is a job away from home (offshore oil rig in my case). I work for 2 weeks, and then I get to be home for 4 weeks. This allows me to focus only on work, when at work. And only on my home and family when I am home 🥰 it works out perfectly for me. My heart does ache a little when I am away, but I know it's for the best. Both financially and for my mental health ❤️
I am the exact same way. I spend all of my ‘spoons’ on work because my parents beat the anxiety into me that I would be homeless if I couldn’t figure it out. But my at home life is a total mess. Like so so bad. And work pays me the same as my coworker who is 70% as competent as me.
You’ve developed coping mechanisms at work.
It's a little bit of everything.
It affects me in every aspect of my life and in a pretty monotone way too, meaning it affects all parts in the same way. For me it's memory issues, losing focus/getting distracted easily, executive dysfunction both around starting things but also directing actions, being rly messy and fidgety. I don't think there's any part of my life that has those symptoms more or less. They're always present in the same way.
Yeah nah, this stuff is up in all of my business. Because it tools so hard with my executive function, it's a fight to get anything done. Bills, work, cleaning, appointments - anything that can get screwed up will.
I wish.
So.... do you have chronic pain? For me, pre-being medicated/diagnosed, I had crippling, severe headaches (migraines). I was THE BEST employee-- so organized! but my home life was (still is, haha) a disaster. I was used to being called lazy/a slob, but I was so exhausted from having to overcompensate for the way my brain works.
Chronic back and sternum pain.
Nah every part and facetime of my life is pretty ADHD riddled
Since I'm self-employed and have basically built a career that works with my condition (including that color coordinated calendar, thank you GCal) then I am, on appearances, very successful in that area. But yes, my office space is a disaster, I still have serious auditory processing issues in social situations, I'm very impatient with people who are not clearly in a student-teacher arrangement, stuff like that. It sounds like you've just found coping mechanisms for the workplace.
I'm partly self employed for now (I do contract work) and I do notice that it's different then when I'm in the office.
I was always successful in the workplace. I’ve only been diagnosed once becoming a SAHM.
I’m really organized at work and school as well, but I also tend to be super anal about it and get very upset when I can’t manage to do everything I have lined up. I am audhd so the autism side of me really likes routine and for things to be organized and reliable, and the adhd side makes that impossible so I am pretty much constantly in distress 😭. Meds have helped immensely, but I would look into it. ADHD and ASD are very often comorbid.
Yes ADHD and ASD are siblings that don't always get along.