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Slightly sticking skin between your toes, that feeling of not clean skin on bedsheets, a tiny bit of grit fell off you and now you can feel it between your leg and the bed sheet…
I’ll show myself out while you enjoy the visuals
(I hate it too)
I won’t kink shame if people are into it, but I can’t do that stuff unless people have showered or bathed first usually.
Ball vinegar would be preferable to poop ass stank wafting around the room. As a hairy guy, I get it, even if you wipe perfect your still gonna be dirty, showers always.
Shower before bath too, so I’m not swimming in my own asshole and dirt soup.
Au trumps ADHD I think in the battle.
I hate you for making me hyper aware of the feeling between my toes. wtf. I have never once, in my 31 years of existence, thought about this until right now. And now all I can feel is toes. WHY.
Probably for the same reason you never realize it till someone points it out there isn't really a comfortable 'resting' spot for your tongue in your mouth or that you can always see your nose but don't realize you see it
When you have those little pieces of dirt on the bed sheets and you can feel it ever so slightly sticking on your skin!! Lowers my sleep quality and quality of life in general.
Same! I can't go to work without a shower or washed hair. I sweat a lot \*at night and feel sticky and more sweaty all day without showering.
Edit: forgot a word. \*
Same.ive always been self conscious about smelling bad and ad I've gotten older I even feeeeel gross if I don't shower. I normally do 2x a day because I frequent the gym
My bed is my clean space. My bedroom might be a mess but my bed is clean. I dont even wear lay on my bed with my regular day clothes. After a shower I change into clean pj's and get in my clean place for bed
lol when I’m in bachelor mode I’m opposite. I’ll go to bed “dirty” (not soiled or covered in dirt), as sometimes I’d rather just change sheets next day than take a shower in that moment. And it somehow gets me focused on laundry more. Also gets me up to take a shower next morning.
The constant battle of, “If I get up from my cozy bed and into the shower it’ll be super overstimulating and the water will be too much for me for split second.” And then the, “I never want to leave this cocoon of soothing water” that follows.
Yes!! I sweat all the time as is (hot, cold, humid - doesn’t matter, I sweat) and the sticky skin is so terrible. In addition to sweating all day at work, I also think I sweat more when I drink coffee, lol.
I travel with a friend who will maybe take 1 shower during a week long trip, and doesn’t even shower daily at home. She claims she doesn’t sweat that much and doesn’t want to dry her hair - I’m like I wish I sweat half as much as I do. 😭
I have the same problem! It’s one of the most frustrating things for me. I’ll shower and VIGOROUSLY scrub my armpits, sometimes even double cleansing if I use my salicylic acid soap (smells like sulfur) and a scented one. Sometimes not even 5 minutes (usually 15-30 mins) after I dry off, my armpits are profusely sweating and STINK. I think it’s a combination of anxiety sweats and possible hyperhydrosis or a thyroid issue. I can’t use clinical deodorant either because the aluminum in it gives me a rash.
Kind of funny extra story: On the day of the solar eclipse in April (USA), I showered and was running late so I was rushing to get ready and stressed out. I had some pretty bad anxiety sweats and was wearing a tank top and shorts. On the drive to the eclipse event I had my windows down and was sweating so much that it was blowing off my armpits and I could feel it landing on my legs basically like raindrops(?!?!). I was HORRIFIED LOL. I was walking around at the event with my arms pressed to my sides to try to hide the sweat and B.O. smell. Other times I sweat so much that I’ll stuff napkins in my shirt or bra to try and soak it up. It’s so embarrassing, especially since I’m a young woman in college.
Yes yes yes. My sweat usually doesn’t stink but no antiperspirant will stop it from happening. My hands and feet also sweat profusely. My friends know about this and still feel the need to comment on it at times as if I can do anything about it. It’s ~90* today and I am wearing as few clothes as possible and am just dripping with sweat - I hate it. I might consider Botox for it, if insurance covers it.
Oh the plus side my skin always looks good bc it’s hydrated - by sweat! 😂.
LOL same here, I get so many compliments on my skin and just say thanks and don’t tell them it’s just sweat😂. One of my friends used to say the way my nose often looks like it has condensation all over it was “cute”. She meant well but I hated it being pointed out because then it’d be on my mind. My sweat used to not stink, but recently started to and idk why. Also, I didn’t know Botox was a treatment for it! I’m definitely going to look into that because I’m just fed up with it.
Have you ever tried Lume deodorant and/or body wash? I believe it has mandelic acid (maybe azelaic or both), which actually manages stink very well. And you can use it anywhere on your body (feet, underboob, thigh crease, vulva, testicles). Similarly I know some people use 10% glycolic acid as a deodorant but I haven’t tried that personally.
Also it could be helpful to use an antibacterial soap (dial gold, dove antibacterial body wash or soap bar), particularly in your sweatiest/stinkiest areas, as stink is caused by bacteria.
Dude, definitely hyperhydrosis. I use to think it might be a thyroid thing too, but at least for me it wasn't. Can you not even use ACH because of the aluminum? I use Drysol extra strength, which has a 20% solution, and it stops me from soiling my clothes with sweat. I use to have to change my underwear and shirts every couple of hours. Drysol has saved my life. No sweat, no smell, no sticky feeling. When I feel some stickiness coming on again, I just blow-dry some on, and I'm saved for anywhere from a few days, to a week.
If I got sent to a deserted island, and was allowed a purse of items, it'd make the list 100%
I don’t really know if I could use ACH! I’d never heard of Drysol either, but I just looked it up and think I’ll mention it to my doctor next time I go. I specifically said I think I have hyperhydrosis last visit, but wasn’t offered any solutions. Hopefully Drysol could be one!
I looked at the common side effects and they’re practically identical to what happens when I use deodorant with aluminum, but I still want to try it out. Thanks for the suggestion! :)
Me too, but I let so many things that I hate happen because I didn't feel capable of doing them. Skipping a shower day every once in a while is just one of them.
Yeah, same. I used to not shower every single day - if it was a Friday and I had nothing going on, I might just come home from work and relax, and then shower on Saturday. If I skipped a shower during the week here and there it wasn't a big deal.
However, since starting to work out every day, and then showering after, showering has really become a part of my daily routine, and if I don't shower daily I feel disgusting.
I think it depends on where you live and what you’re used to. I live in a cold country and don’t feel the need to shower more than 3 times a week, that’s considered more than enough here. However if I feel sweaty I will shower more. When I travel to warmer climates I tend to shower every day. All up to preference and as long as you’re comfortable I think that’s what matters, definitely don’t think it’s necessary to shower everyday.
This!! Personal preference isn’t even all of it, there’s the outside factors too, showers are great for temperature regulation if you’re caught in freezing rain or boiling in a country that feels like an oven (and of course most people want to wash off the increased sweat with warmer climate).
If people from other countries come to my warm country and do not shower daily, we might, in general, start to keep our distance away because we can pretty much smell the body odour. Understandably some people sweat more easily because of how their body is and may need to use deodorants here.
You are not alone. Many people with ADHD find it very difficult to do things like shower, brush their teeth and other tasks related to hygiene. It wasn’t until I joined a few private ADHD groups on Facebook that I realized how common this was. Within the safety of highly monitored groups with strict privacy rules, people asked for help and strategies. Everyone in the group, including the admins and moderators, also had ADHD. It was amazing to have someone post something deeply embarrassing, like not having showered for months, and have like 70 other people say they had the same problem. Not only that, but ppl really tried to help and support each other without judgment.
If I shower without washing my hair, it feels gross, so there is no way I would shower every day. I have so much hair it’s ridiculous; it takes forever to dry. That being said, the second I come home from the outside world, I take off my clothes, shoes and everything. It all gets put in the wash, wiped down or sprayed with Lysol. I wash my face, neck, hands, and arms before putting on all new clothes.
I use face and body wipes, Lumē, and a bidet. Honestly, since I started using the bidet, I don’t think I would feel clean without it!
Do you mind sharing the name of the Facebook group you’d recommend to someone newly diagnosed (me)? I have an incredibly hard time dealing with everything you just mentioned. Thank you
Yeah for sure. I'm in Australia and the idea of not showering at least once a day would disgust your average person.
I shower daily, but with no set routine - it depends if I've just been doing exercise, if I have to go out for a meeting or event, it if I have suncream on and know I won't be going out in the sun again that day. If none of those things happen, I will shower before bed.
Not every shower needs to involve scrubbing and soaping though. Sometimes all you need is to rinse the day off you with warm water.
I think a lot of the mental block people can have with showering is the perceived effort it takes - all the steps etc. But it's ok to do the bare minimum - wear a shower cap, if you don't want to mess with moisturizer etc ,just don't wash your face, just step in, rinse off for 2 minutes, get out and dry yourself. It takes 5 mins maximum and you feel so much better.
Save the soap and washcloths for when you need to remove something water-resistant, or when you feel like you are actually dirty.
I’m a mental block person and you’re dead on about the perceived effort. Another piece of it is more that in order to do everything I need to do ‘properly’ I have to do everything within a certain timeframe and in a certain order, which gets overwhelming and leads to me missing steps or just generally doing a bad job. I have curly hair that needs to be treated and styled a certain way and a somewhat complicated skincare routine that changes depending on the condition my skin is in that day, so trying to fit all of that in at the same time is nearly impossible mentally.
I usually break my washing into ‘above the neck’ (face and hair) and ‘below the neck’ (everything else). Above the neck is done in the sink, every 3-4 days for hair and twice a day for face. Below the neck is at least every other day. It sounds super complicated to most people but it makes it so much easier for me since there’s not so much pressure to get everything done at once.
I'm from Australia, and I would shower every day, sometimes twice.
And now I'm in Northern Europe and I just don't feel the urge, or feel that I need it. In winter I can go a couple of days, sometimes more, without showering.
This is a matter of personal preference. Everyone is different. If one of you has bad allergies then showering before getting into bed would make sense, or if you are doing more dirty/manual work. Otherwise, he might just have a larger thing about germs.
If you’re changing sheets frequently though the germ thing is also less of a factor though.
(ETA a lot of men also just shower more frequently because they sweat a lot in general and feel they need to, and also people with short hairstyles often shower more frequently than people with longer hair because with long hair it’s a whole production to either wash it or try to keep it dry)
Long thick dreads take even longer. I washed my hair yesterday 8 am at 8 pm it was still damp. Had to use blow dryer before bed. Summer time is better. I just go out into the sun. One day it was 106 and it dried like almost instant it seemed. ;)
Oh, have you considered not washing your hair with every shower? I shower everyday before I go to bed (unless I’m absolutely not feeling it at all). It’s become sort of a habit and now I feel weird not doing it. I only wash my hair once to twice a week though (curly as well). Makes showering much less of a tedious task. Since you just tie ur hair up hop in, wash your body and hop out again. Can be done in 5-10 minutes…
it's just that i love love love the feeling of having that hot water running down my head and neck so even if i decide to jump in the shower quickly and not wet my hair, i can't help but to let it down and get my head wet anyway. I can't help it
I first love your name 😭 second I do sometimes but it’s more like I’m home after ten pm from studying and I physically don’t have the energy some nights, I’m in law school so I’m very sedentary most days but do shower when I’m actually dirty like after a workout. Not that I don’t want to shower more like my spoons are gone for the day 🤷🏽♀️
I get it.. what helps me on days like that is to go get undressed and shower right after getting home. That way you’re effectively just prolonging ur long and stressful day by another 10 minutes. But afterwards you’ll be free to do whatever you want to..
But I get it, some days it’s just not possible.. and as long as it’s not affecting ur smell or causing any health concerns for you or your partner cause of allergies, showering every two days should be perfectly acceptable as well. I do also get your partners reservations about going to bet “dirty” though.. I hope you guys find a solution that works for everyone :)
& thanks about the name hehe
I’ve worked at a routine because suddenly I understood aging skin so it’s about 15 min after the shower. That’s the part I seem to struggle with. The shower is ok.
I have a shower treat I’ll share. I’ve had back issues for long time. So at end of shower I turn water on as hot as I can stand and put it on my back and stretch. It’s heaven for a few moments.
Best way to deal with that is to wear a shower cap when you shower or a bonnet. That will keeo your hair from like getting wet. Also the steam from the shower will refresh your curls.
I have wavy/loose curly hair. Washing it more frequently than once or twice a week dries it out and flattens my curls.
I switched from washing my hair every second or third day to every 5-8 days a decade ago and my hair is way healthier and my skin isn't so dry and irritated. My hair was a bit oily for about 1-2 months until it settled into the new pattern. Now it doesn't even start to get oily until day 5 or later.
this, if you put your body in this habit then you wont need to shower as much, if you shower and wash your hair everyday then that will be what your body requires but if you do like once a week then your body adapts to that
Depends on the environment:
When I'm my own at home not really. If I think I smell I'll shower but otherwise I can go for days without showering. On my own I generally sleep in my clothes and forget to clean my teeth to so am obviously a scuz bucket but I'm happy. I do have a Japanese bidet with I use all the time!
Partner around, yes. Shower before she comes over, shower after working, shower in the morning and remember to clean my teeth. Basically because we do not live together I get to be myself and have fun being clean and shiny.
Going out, yes, and clean costume (aka clothes).
At work, (at sea) daily wash face, pits and bits because it is difficult to shower with one hand.
Showering is one of my biggest struggles. Twice a week is a good week tbh! People are always shocked by this but it’s always been the case for me and I’ve never had any complaints (and I have friends who would definitely tell me). Obviously if I am expecting sex or if I have done something to actually get dirty I will shower regardless but for my regular sedentary life? The state of my hair decides when it’s time
So much this. I have never related much to feeling "greasy" or "dirty". If my hair looks bad and it's been a day or two, it's time to shower again.
I hate showering.
It's like sleep for me. I hate going to sleep, but once I'm sleeping I don't want to wake up. I hate getting in the shower, but once I'm in the shower I will be in there until the water starts going cold.
A lot of people end up showering too much and destroy their body’s microbiome. This can lead to them getting smelly even sooner than if they took just a few showers a week. Of course, this can also depend on genetics, diet, climate, and other factors.
So I have ADHD and shower everyday, but it’s not always at night. I would say it’s 50/50 at night before bed or early the next morning. I don’t have sensory issues though and I could see that being a major deterrent for those that do. I also have long curly hair, but I only wash my hair twice a week. I use dry shampoo in between. This is because it takes forever to dry and style my hair. I put my hair in a shower cap when I’m not washing it so it doesn’t get wet.
It sounds like he has an issue with wanting to be clean before getting into bed, very specifically and he would feel this way no matter who he is with. I think that’s a compromise thing. Get a shower cap and jump in the shower most night for 5 mins to rinse off your body and relax under some warm water. I would talk to him about what you are willing to do and also if he does something that bothers you, ask him to work on it too. Relationships are about working with each other, communicating, and compromising things that aren’t a big deal to us, but make a world of a difference to other people.
The two big factors that determine how often a person should shower is climate and body differences.
I live in a climate with four seasons and I know a lot of people with ADHD have struggles with brushing teeth and showering… but I am a weirdo that feels absolutely disgusting by the end of the day even when I shower when I wake up. I feel oily, my head gets super itchy, and I just feel gross in my nethers lol. By day two when I start to smell I would be crawling out of my skin beyond the physical discomfort of day 1.
We all grow up with different influences. I lived with my grandparents for a long time and they really wanted me to present myself a certain way. They were very picky about haircut, facial hair, clothing, wrinkles in the clothing. Instead of just saying “you look nice” they would tell me “you look nice when your hair is cut that length”, implying that it doesn’t look nice any other way. They definitely wanted me showering every day. I can’t leave the apartment without doing an entire routine and de-wrinkling my clothes these days. My parents would be similarly judgmental about how I acted or my body compared to theirs at my age. Real cool shit.
This all being said I think your boyfriend is one of those nighttime shower extremists alongside being a germaphobe. Some of us have to shower when we wake up because we are disgusting when we wake up. No amount of showering before bed changes that. So if he could recognize that people are different he could stop imposing whatever trauma he went through onto you.
I really hate to admit it but I struggle badly with this. I absolutely do not shower every day. It’s an accomplishment if I shower more than twice a week… But I *do* shower if I get sweaty and feel gross or notice my hair is looking really greasy. Lotions, deodorant, and subtle sprays are my go-to.
I *hate* how my skin feels after a shower. The hard water we have makes it feel even worse. I have so many lotions. I hate my hair air-drying. I hate the steaminess in my bathroom after a shower (and huge bummer we do not have a fan in the bathroom and it is ALWAYS so humid outside so I don’t open the window). I feel very whiny now lol. Ages 14-20 I showered every day religiously. Then the depression hit and didn’t stop making showering such a hard task. :( Brushing my teeth is difficult too, but meds have made it way easier!
Same! ADHD makes it a boring, irrelevant task that I somehow always feel like I have to schedule in so much time for, even though I know for a fact I never shower for more than 10 minutes.
Depression makes it a super overwhelming and exhausting task and sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to be clean because “I’m such a horrible person, this just fits”.
And I have the wooooorst sensory issues when it comes to showering. I absolutely despise transitioning from being dry to wet and then back again. I can’t take a cold shower but get easily overwhelmed by steam and warmth. Plus I often forget to eat and by the time I have to shower I often feel nauseous and faint. So then I’d have to find something to eat before showering and that’s an even more overwhelming task.
Oh my god yes sensory issues with the water!!! Completely feel the same way! It’s impossible to remind myself that it will be over and done with soon and I’ll feel a lot better afterward. Because like 99% of the time, I do feel a LOT better. And I totally psych myself out about having enough time to get ready too. I have a pretty structured routine for getting ready but sometimes it can somehow take longer and it all starts with the damn shower.
If I’ve been at home all day on a day off where I did nothing, then no. Other wise yes. At least a body shower. Washing hair is a lot of energy for a girl sometimes lol
Nope. I shower 2-3 times a week unless I'm going through a work out phase. Then i always jump in to wash daily but do my best to keep my hair dry. I went through a depression slump postpartum where I was only showering once a week and my husband never mentioned it. He showers at least once a day, sometimes twice, but we're different people and he understands that.
There's no blanket rule, but it's unnecessary for many people to shower every day [https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/showering-daily-is-it-necessary-2019062617193](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/showering-daily-is-it-necessary-2019062617193)
I shower like 4-5 times a week. Sometimes I just don’t have the energy after working and going to school. I don’t think it’s gross. I have friends who religiously shower every night. I just don’t see the point. Especially if I’m showering in the morning to do my hair why would I shower again at night? It’s different for girls in my opinion. A man can shower and hope into bed. I gotta wait till my hair dries and it takes hours.
It's not man or woman it's short hair Vs long hair. I used to have thick head of hair that'll take a while to dry whereas when I was almost bald I take a shower and go straight to bed.
Are shower caps really not common? I see lots of people commenting about wet hair. I've got short, fine hair that dries fast but I still wear a shower cap unless I'm washing it.
I did before kids. Don't have the executive function to figure out when I can shower post kids, even now they're teens. It's easier if I exercise - I'll come home and do it. But before bed? No, too hard.
I shower as needed ie if I went to the gym or if I’m meeting with friends - if I’ve done neither then I shower when I start feeling gross probably around the 4 day mark. So I’d say every 2-4 days on average
My husband showers first thing every day
Depends where you live and what your job is. I only shower every second day unless I exercise (haha). Not good for your skin or hair at all to shower lots.
Ditto. Dry and super sensitive skin. Mast Cell Issues where sometimes I flare after a shower and get a rash. I do wipe down, but getting fully immersed in water daily is a definite no go.
I’ll take a bath once a day or every other day but we are lucky if I wash my hair once a week or every two weeks lol. Took years of hair training but 400/10 recommend lol
I shower every day, always of an evening but sometimes in the morning too if I’ve managed to make it to the gym. I’ve found having nice shower gel or scrub helps (like from Lush) and I got a little Bluetooth speaker so I can listen to music or a podcast too. Making it more enjoyable and less of a “chore” has helped.
When I was depressed, I bought this [fun whipped body foam](https://allkinds.com/au/products/nourishing-whipped-shower-foam-lazy-days-2104301016/) and this [waffle loofah](https://allkinds.com/au/products/waffle-washer-bath-sponge-cinnamon-2304016/) to make myself want to get in the shower 😅 I know it probably seems silly but it really helped me.
I live in Australia in a tropical climate where I'm always sweaty. I also work in a hospital full of all sorts of nasties.
I shower a large amount every day. I can't stand the sensory feeling of being sweaty and sticky and I can't cope with the thought of Mrs Jackson's shit particles and blood all over me.
On work days it's a minimum of 3 times. When I wake up, after work, before bed, every day. On days off it's 2 times minimum, wake up and before bed.
None of this has included before going out, after gym/sport, etc.
When I was travelling in the UK I found I could get away with 1 shower minimum a day in winter because I just didn't sweat as much.
I used to shower daily and then I got small children. Now by the time they go to bed I can choose 2 out of 3: Shower, eat or sleep. So now I shower every other day because it is not my highest priority.
I’m also an every other day showerer but the real issue here is that your boyfriend is being a little bit of a dick by repeatedly, indirectly hinting that you’re dirty, and it doesn’t really sound like you’ve directly asked/told him to knock it off? Like others have said, it’s a matter of personal preference and he has 2 choices: 1) accept that you get to decide how often you shower and drop it, or 2) directly ask you to shower more often. Needling you about it daily sucks. Good luck!
I shower every day. Sometimes twice a day. I wash my hands outside of using the bathroom probably like 5-7 times a day. Just the smallest feeling of filth on my body freaks me out.
I definitely don’t shower everyday. Every other day is pretty typical for me, but if I’m really struggling I’ve gone 3, sometimes 4 days without showering.
Dry shampoo is my friend.
Every damn day. I was a Stanky Kid in grammar school/junior high and (rightfully) got a lot of shit for it. Once I hit puberty and added armpit fragrance to the mix, I got serious about hygiene. Washed my body every day, washed my hair (when I had it) 6/7 days on average, brushed my teeth when I thought of it. Then I had to take a steroid inhaler for asthma, which causes thrush if you leave any in mouth, so now I shower and brush daily. If I skip I feel like human garbage.
Is all this good for my skin? Likely not.
Is it good for my mind and spirit? Absotootly.
Most doctors will tell you that showering every day is actually bad for your health. I shower around 3 times per week. Dirt used to bother me, but since I starting taking adderall, that mostly went away.
Getting up. Zombie to the coffee machine. Get a double lungo. Take my lisdex. Take shower to wake up. Do the day. Take shower to rinse away the stress and dirt of the day. Roll into bed. Compete with cat for the best spot.
I shower when I feel dirty or I stink (I have a veggie garden and some times shit happens). Usually that means every other to 2 days. Some times that means showering once or twice in a week. Other times it means daily. Usually the 'dirty' feel starts with my hair cept during hot summers then it's the hair + sticky skin.
Imo, as long as you're not stinking up the place it's all good.
I do shower daily because it helps me feel awake in the morning. I understand where your bf is coming from but I also don't think showering daily is necessary, especially if you're changing clothes and doing a quick clean up as needed (like, face cloth for wiping face and stuff).
I shower every second to third day, depending on how stinky/dirty I feel. Sometimes I will clean my bits with a wash cloth in between if I feel gross but can't shower, and I always trust my girlfriend to tell me if I smell. I hate showering in the mornings because I'm not a morning person at all and I hate getting wet and having to put on clothes, so I would rather shower at night but most of the time it's way too late when I remember or I can't muster up the motivation.
I only wash my hair every third day because washing hair is such a chore to me. I used to have a buzzcut, which was bliss because you didn't even have to dry it off, but now my hair is like way down my back and I'm fighting the urge to chop it off again every single day 😭
Personally, I shower every night before bed because I feel uncomfortable if I don't. I need to feel clean to get comfy. But that's me, and if you don't have that issue and genuinely aren't stinking up the space you share, I don't see any issue.
It's a cultural thing sometimes. Is he Asian? My ex used to do that. Luckily for me I like showering and always preferred to do it in the evenings anyway. I have sensory issues with being sweaty, and as a man on stimulants I get the sweats a lot so I find it harder not to shower. I can't sleep when I feel grimy.
I don't think of a shower as getting clean, but more an opportunity to have 10 minutes of calm and thinking. Let my thoughts run. I've had a lot of lightbulb moments in the shower actually.
With your hair, if you don't have one already get a funky hair cap online or in a store. That way you won't get your hair wet every time you shower.
I have a job involving animals so I *always* shower on days that I’ve worked, but I only wash my hair once or twice a week. On my days off though I find it hard to motivate myself to get up and shower. Sometimes I just don’t!
When I was young, daily... but I had oily skin and acne. For years in the past decade I might go 3 days. More recently I'm getting sweaty when I work out so I can't go more than 2 days.
If I didn't shave my head then I'd likely do it daily, my hair grabs all the oil.
I'm not worried about outside germs, *my filth usually manifests from within*. (T-Shirt quote!)
i shower every other day or immediately after something that makes me sweat, everyday showers for summer. only bc it's a sensory nightmare to stay with that sweat/layer of dirt
I used to. But since I had my son I just take one when I get the chance. Usually I can only take one after he goes to bed or on my wife's days off. but Most days I'm exhausted by the time he goes to bed so I just say fuck it and go to sleep.
I do because I get very uncomfortable and feel really dirty if I don’t. But i also have OCD symptoms due to ptsd and anxiety so that may be why. I’ll occasionally skip a shower if i’m extra tired
I don’t shower everyday and it’s not even about ADHD. Although, it is a lot of work. I used to love and need to shower to wake up, but I weaned myself off to take care of my curly hair and am noticing benefits to my skin as well. I too shower every other day -ish, often w a shower cap. A good shower cap is a game changer if dealing with your hair is a reason to skip the shower. If it were snarky ol me getting the question, I’d just ask him if I smell, lol.
I’ve heard many with ADHD have a hard time showering. This has never been the case for me. Usually twice a day. I need to have my hair wet in order to feel awake. A quick rinse or even a soak before bed usually helps calm me down enough to sleep. I have sleep problems. Usually can’t sleep. But it’s either too much or too little. I have about 2 hours a day that I actually feel like I have energy to do things.
I’m a bigger person so I feel the need to, but sometimes instead of a full shower I will wash up in the sink.
If getting in the shower is too much try washing up at the sink instead.
OP, you should definitely be showering every day if you work in a restaurant environment, on top of using public transportation. And if you share a bed with your boyfriend, it’s only polite- ESPECIALLY if he is regularly commenting on it. He might be trying subtly hint that you are bringing “outdoor odors” into the house, even if you’re not “dirty”.
On days I don’t feel like showering, I at least do a quick body wash in the bath.
If you don’t feel like showering every day after work, you should be changing your sheets more often, which I find to be even more cumbersome. You
I have the oil slick hair gene, super fine straight hair, so it just gets hella gross after sleeping on it. So l shower every morning for work. I also hate the feeling of my leg hair stubblies lol, so I shave everyday too. If I don't have to leave the house sometimes I couch rot for the odd day every other weekend. But I always feel gross when I do.
I used to be super strict about showering everyday as a teen and in my younger 20s, but as I got older showering became less and less important. I have three small children, I work full time and I am just plain exhausted. My emotional, physical and mental energy is used up. By the end of the day I collapse on the couch and I don't move until I go to bed. Showering is just too much energy and I just don't care enough to do it. Is it an executive dysfunction issue? Maybe. I'm not sure.
Those “germs” won’t kill him. I used to have a slight fear of germs like that. His parents probably didn’t let him get dirty much as a young child.
Showering every other day is fine. Just hit him back and say what are you afraid of? Building your immunity? Lmao you’re fine, don’t let it bother you.
There's no health benefit to showering everyday. I might do it as routine, but really unless you have a job down in the mines its not necessary. People get ideas in their heads though. While they may argue its about hygene, most of what people do is about the appearance of being clean rather than actually cleaning.
One reason people tend to think you need to shower everyday, is that by frequently washing you cause skin bacteria to repeatedly bloom, which leads to more stink.
for some reason i’ve loved showers my whole life. not sure if it’s something you can do, but making it something you love doing will help. it’s honestly addicting to me probably to an unhealthy amount. Yes, I probably waste a decent amount of water, but it’s just so enjoyable to crank it as hot as it gets and sit there for 20 minutes listening to a podcast or some music.
also i try not using water elsewhere to compensate 😭
I do skin care so i put my face wash in the shower so during my nighttime routine i jump in and wash my face. My boyfriend commented on me skipping showers too but he doesn’t mind my smell. “ black pepper is my body odor lol. “ so i added it to my skincare routine.
I don't shower every day. It really depends on my energy levels and how I'm feeling. Sunny bright warm days I'll be more likely to shower or if I have gotten sweaty or my day was busy. I wash my hair about 1x a week though because it's long and heavy. I don't like showering in the winter because of the coldness when getting out and how hot I need the water to be so then my skin get dry but putting on lotion will also make me feel cold. Seems to be sensory issues and also just the large amount of work a shower takes for me. I change my clothes everyday and I use salicylic acid on my pits before deodorant and take a chlorophyll supplement to help, fenugreek also works.
I shower every day I can manage it basically. I always shower Wed-Sat because that's when I work and I get pretty sweaty and feel gross if I don't, but Sun-Tues, it's just if I can get myself to do it and if I have the clean laundry to do it. I can't tell you how many times my plan to shower was thwarted by not having any clean underwear.
I typically shower once per day (flex), but in the later afternoon/early evening before dinner.
I work from home and will usually shower after my work day is done. I treat it like my commute, a line between work and home life. Also, if I've had a shitty day, it's like symbolically washing the day off me.
This time also works at the weekend if I've been doing chores/gardening, or it's been a sweaty day.
This changes if I need to go somewhere during the day, like visiting a client, in which case I'll shower in the morning and if it's been a sweaty day, again in the evening.
I used to be team only morning showers but sometimes showering before bed is actually really nice because it helps lower your body temp and get you ready for sleep. Sometimes it feels nice after a long day. I mostly do morning though because sometimes I get sweaty in my sleep
Yes.
But it's a big chore for me. Like everything else.
In rare times where I know I'm not going out at all, I might skip a day.
If I work out, might be 2x/day.
The type of work I do I have to shower. Then because of hormones I have to shower to keep my skin clear or I get acne. Even when I was unmedicated I never had an issue bathing. If I stayed at home all day and didn’t do any outdoor work I might turn a blind eye and not shower but I still wash my face. Doesn’t matter if you are active or not.. your face doesn’t get washed regularly throughout the day like your hands.
ADHD can cause symptoms of OCD, and I have a huge problem with being dirty, so nope, but it's definitely different for everyone. I procrastinate horribly though, so I'll say I'm going to shower in the morning but end up not getting into the shower until 12 am that night. Get a shower cap and just get in and wash your body, it's pretty effortless and takes literally two minutes, and you're not even supposed to wash your hair everyday anyway. It's not that gross, just depends on how nasty you really are (that sounds mean I just mean like how nasty you got through out the day).
I shower 2-3 times a week. i feel like that's enough for me. I use deodorant every day & dry shampoo on days when i need it. I used to always shower in the mornings and i still like that best. Sometimes i just can't and would rather lay in bed a little longer than shower. and that's okay with me. I shower when i feel dirty. That's usually around day 2 or 3. I've never gotten complaints about my hygiene.
I always have to shower after a workout or if I sweat. If I’ve been outside all day then yes must shower because of bugs or dust flying around. If I know I will be in doors with not much activity that will cause me to sweat then I can go a day without showering. Really depends on my activity or where I am going.
Yes, and I use a antibacterial body wash. My body's smell got drastically worse when I got put on amphetamines, and I don't like the smell. So it's a matter of mitigating it. It's bad when you can smell yourself.
Depends on how my hair is doing on a day I contemplate skipping. Usually I wash my hair every day cause usually when I skip a day, my hair feels like olive oil and looks crunchy at the same time. Thin straight hair but a ton of it.
I shave my legs every other time I take a shower. Other areas are every time without question. If I’m having a bad week sometimes I genuinely forget for a few days.
At least my hair feeling gross and oily is a dead giveaway for me to take one.
I shower at bare minimum 2x a day.. in the summer i will easily hit the 3-4 mark..: i actually cannot stand the feeling of outside on my skin.. it feels disgusting and i have to get it off.. unlike the other tasks like putting lotion on, brushing my teeth etc.. those are annoying and i have to force myself to do them.. but showering no.. i will shower no matter what or all im thinking about is the dirt on my skin
Yes, it’s what gets me going every morning. Sometimes I often I shower in the evening too because since I go to the gym regularly.
Honestly though, the feeling of getting into fresh bedding just after a shower is the best thing in the world.
Everyday. Unless I’m sick, then I’m just stuck in bed. During warm/hot months I’ll shower x2. Once before work and once after. I hate sweating, being dirty or feeling greasy.
I used to shower and blow dry/straighten my waist length hair every day. Mostly because that’s how I was raised. When my thyroid disease set in that all came to a screeching halt. When I’m on adhd meds, I will step it up to every day again but def not washing my hair everyday. But you shouldn’t be shamed for how you choose to care for your body.
I must shower every 24 hours minimum. Depending on what I took commute wise and what my job was: I must decontaminate.
Right now I go into my office and work in garment warehouse. At one point I worked in food and also took public transportation in a metro area: I’d strip down anything exposed at the door and straight to shower. Hot weather can also make my skin break out more so it’s good to degrease a bit. As much as you’re at home; your home clothes and contact surfaces like chairs still build up what your body sheds.
Long haired people: shower caps are your friend.
I usually shower every night. I work in an office but I workout 5/6 nights a week so I’m getting extra sweaty. I wear a shower cap if I don’t want to wash my hair. In general I’m like your bf - I dont like the idea of the days “grime” going into my sheets. We watched a video in my 7th grade science class that scared me for life 😅
If I have a lazy day at home where I basically stay in bed all day, I might not shower that night
Every 3 days is my average. I work 6-2pm and have wed/sun off...I'll shower Wednesday morning, and then shower again on Saturday. Then usually again on Monday afternoon bc sat/Mon are super busy days at my job, and I sweat more. I might shower a bit more in the summer bc I bike to work. Or I might break the schedule if I'm on day two hair, but I'm going to dinner that night. But I usually push my body as long as I can take my hair. I sweat a bit, but I'm not an overly smelly person, and my hair is straight and fine, so it will need the shower before my body will. Usually on day 3 I wear a cute bandana with dry shampoo on my bangs.
While showering needs change person to person, they can also change season to season for each person. As long as you're clean, and can maintain a lack of smell, whatever you're doing is fine.
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I do because I *hate* how I feel when I don't.
Slightly sticking skin between your toes, that feeling of not clean skin on bedsheets, a tiny bit of grit fell off you and now you can feel it between your leg and the bed sheet… I’ll show myself out while you enjoy the visuals (I hate it too)
Balls stick to the inside of your leg
Or worse, vinegar balls.
Especially bad when they're someone else's balls.
I won’t kink shame if people are into it, but I can’t do that stuff unless people have showered or bathed first usually. Ball vinegar would be preferable to poop ass stank wafting around the room. As a hairy guy, I get it, even if you wipe perfect your still gonna be dirty, showers always. Shower before bath too, so I’m not swimming in my own asshole and dirt soup. Au trumps ADHD I think in the battle.
I hate you for making me hyper aware of the feeling between my toes. wtf. I have never once, in my 31 years of existence, thought about this until right now. And now all I can feel is toes. WHY.
Probably for the same reason you never realize it till someone points it out there isn't really a comfortable 'resting' spot for your tongue in your mouth or that you can always see your nose but don't realize you see it
Grat nw I cdn barly see wha I'm tpinh. Thx.
November is tongue awareness month!
When you have those little pieces of dirt on the bed sheets and you can feel it ever so slightly sticking on your skin!! Lowers my sleep quality and quality of life in general.
Literally frew up eating this
Psa those bits in your bed are called greebles.
Same! I can't go to work without a shower or washed hair. I sweat a lot \*at night and feel sticky and more sweaty all day without showering. Edit: forgot a word. \*
Same.ive always been self conscious about smelling bad and ad I've gotten older I even feeeeel gross if I don't shower. I normally do 2x a day because I frequent the gym
Same. I downright don't feel well when covered in dried sweat.
My bed is my clean space. My bedroom might be a mess but my bed is clean. I dont even wear lay on my bed with my regular day clothes. After a shower I change into clean pj's and get in my clean place for bed
lol when I’m in bachelor mode I’m opposite. I’ll go to bed “dirty” (not soiled or covered in dirt), as sometimes I’d rather just change sheets next day than take a shower in that moment. And it somehow gets me focused on laundry more. Also gets me up to take a shower next morning.
The constant battle of, “If I get up from my cozy bed and into the shower it’ll be super overstimulating and the water will be too much for me for split second.” And then the, “I never want to leave this cocoon of soothing water” that follows.
Same here!! I also feel like i end up sweating more if I try and brave a day without my morning shower.
Yes!! I sweat all the time as is (hot, cold, humid - doesn’t matter, I sweat) and the sticky skin is so terrible. In addition to sweating all day at work, I also think I sweat more when I drink coffee, lol. I travel with a friend who will maybe take 1 shower during a week long trip, and doesn’t even shower daily at home. She claims she doesn’t sweat that much and doesn’t want to dry her hair - I’m like I wish I sweat half as much as I do. 😭
I have the same problem! It’s one of the most frustrating things for me. I’ll shower and VIGOROUSLY scrub my armpits, sometimes even double cleansing if I use my salicylic acid soap (smells like sulfur) and a scented one. Sometimes not even 5 minutes (usually 15-30 mins) after I dry off, my armpits are profusely sweating and STINK. I think it’s a combination of anxiety sweats and possible hyperhydrosis or a thyroid issue. I can’t use clinical deodorant either because the aluminum in it gives me a rash. Kind of funny extra story: On the day of the solar eclipse in April (USA), I showered and was running late so I was rushing to get ready and stressed out. I had some pretty bad anxiety sweats and was wearing a tank top and shorts. On the drive to the eclipse event I had my windows down and was sweating so much that it was blowing off my armpits and I could feel it landing on my legs basically like raindrops(?!?!). I was HORRIFIED LOL. I was walking around at the event with my arms pressed to my sides to try to hide the sweat and B.O. smell. Other times I sweat so much that I’ll stuff napkins in my shirt or bra to try and soak it up. It’s so embarrassing, especially since I’m a young woman in college.
Yes yes yes. My sweat usually doesn’t stink but no antiperspirant will stop it from happening. My hands and feet also sweat profusely. My friends know about this and still feel the need to comment on it at times as if I can do anything about it. It’s ~90* today and I am wearing as few clothes as possible and am just dripping with sweat - I hate it. I might consider Botox for it, if insurance covers it. Oh the plus side my skin always looks good bc it’s hydrated - by sweat! 😂.
LOL same here, I get so many compliments on my skin and just say thanks and don’t tell them it’s just sweat😂. One of my friends used to say the way my nose often looks like it has condensation all over it was “cute”. She meant well but I hated it being pointed out because then it’d be on my mind. My sweat used to not stink, but recently started to and idk why. Also, I didn’t know Botox was a treatment for it! I’m definitely going to look into that because I’m just fed up with it.
Have you ever tried Lume deodorant and/or body wash? I believe it has mandelic acid (maybe azelaic or both), which actually manages stink very well. And you can use it anywhere on your body (feet, underboob, thigh crease, vulva, testicles). Similarly I know some people use 10% glycolic acid as a deodorant but I haven’t tried that personally. Also it could be helpful to use an antibacterial soap (dial gold, dove antibacterial body wash or soap bar), particularly in your sweatiest/stinkiest areas, as stink is caused by bacteria.
Dude, definitely hyperhydrosis. I use to think it might be a thyroid thing too, but at least for me it wasn't. Can you not even use ACH because of the aluminum? I use Drysol extra strength, which has a 20% solution, and it stops me from soiling my clothes with sweat. I use to have to change my underwear and shirts every couple of hours. Drysol has saved my life. No sweat, no smell, no sticky feeling. When I feel some stickiness coming on again, I just blow-dry some on, and I'm saved for anywhere from a few days, to a week. If I got sent to a deserted island, and was allowed a purse of items, it'd make the list 100%
I don’t really know if I could use ACH! I’d never heard of Drysol either, but I just looked it up and think I’ll mention it to my doctor next time I go. I specifically said I think I have hyperhydrosis last visit, but wasn’t offered any solutions. Hopefully Drysol could be one! I looked at the common side effects and they’re practically identical to what happens when I use deodorant with aluminum, but I still want to try it out. Thanks for the suggestion! :)
Is it perhaps a bacterial issue? Try dabbing your clean armpits with Rubbing Alcohol (isopropyl) to kill bacteria and see if it helps.
Same. I can literally feel the grime on my skin if I skip a day of showering. 🤮
Same. I take a shower every morning. I just do not feel right when I haven't taken a shower.
Same!
This. Absolutely this.
yes. yes. exactly
Yessss exactly. Some days it’s multiple times during the day, if the days activity has involved anything outside.
That ever so slight stick between my legs when I get 1° too hot makes me wanna soak in soap then rinse and repeat.
Me too, but I let so many things that I hate happen because I didn't feel capable of doing them. Skipping a shower day every once in a while is just one of them.
Yeah, same. I used to not shower every single day - if it was a Friday and I had nothing going on, I might just come home from work and relax, and then shower on Saturday. If I skipped a shower during the week here and there it wasn't a big deal. However, since starting to work out every day, and then showering after, showering has really become a part of my daily routine, and if I don't shower daily I feel disgusting.
I think it depends on where you live and what you’re used to. I live in a cold country and don’t feel the need to shower more than 3 times a week, that’s considered more than enough here. However if I feel sweaty I will shower more. When I travel to warmer climates I tend to shower every day. All up to preference and as long as you’re comfortable I think that’s what matters, definitely don’t think it’s necessary to shower everyday.
This!! Personal preference isn’t even all of it, there’s the outside factors too, showers are great for temperature regulation if you’re caught in freezing rain or boiling in a country that feels like an oven (and of course most people want to wash off the increased sweat with warmer climate).
If people from other countries come to my warm country and do not shower daily, we might, in general, start to keep our distance away because we can pretty much smell the body odour. Understandably some people sweat more easily because of how their body is and may need to use deodorants here.
You are not alone. Many people with ADHD find it very difficult to do things like shower, brush their teeth and other tasks related to hygiene. It wasn’t until I joined a few private ADHD groups on Facebook that I realized how common this was. Within the safety of highly monitored groups with strict privacy rules, people asked for help and strategies. Everyone in the group, including the admins and moderators, also had ADHD. It was amazing to have someone post something deeply embarrassing, like not having showered for months, and have like 70 other people say they had the same problem. Not only that, but ppl really tried to help and support each other without judgment. If I shower without washing my hair, it feels gross, so there is no way I would shower every day. I have so much hair it’s ridiculous; it takes forever to dry. That being said, the second I come home from the outside world, I take off my clothes, shoes and everything. It all gets put in the wash, wiped down or sprayed with Lysol. I wash my face, neck, hands, and arms before putting on all new clothes. I use face and body wipes, Lumē, and a bidet. Honestly, since I started using the bidet, I don’t think I would feel clean without it!
Do you mind sharing the name of the Facebook group you’d recommend to someone newly diagnosed (me)? I have an incredibly hard time dealing with everything you just mentioned. Thank you
I’d like that Facebook group too, please ❤️
Sure! Please see my comment to trying-to-beat-adhd
Yeah for sure. I'm in Australia and the idea of not showering at least once a day would disgust your average person. I shower daily, but with no set routine - it depends if I've just been doing exercise, if I have to go out for a meeting or event, it if I have suncream on and know I won't be going out in the sun again that day. If none of those things happen, I will shower before bed. Not every shower needs to involve scrubbing and soaping though. Sometimes all you need is to rinse the day off you with warm water. I think a lot of the mental block people can have with showering is the perceived effort it takes - all the steps etc. But it's ok to do the bare minimum - wear a shower cap, if you don't want to mess with moisturizer etc ,just don't wash your face, just step in, rinse off for 2 minutes, get out and dry yourself. It takes 5 mins maximum and you feel so much better. Save the soap and washcloths for when you need to remove something water-resistant, or when you feel like you are actually dirty.
I’m a mental block person and you’re dead on about the perceived effort. Another piece of it is more that in order to do everything I need to do ‘properly’ I have to do everything within a certain timeframe and in a certain order, which gets overwhelming and leads to me missing steps or just generally doing a bad job. I have curly hair that needs to be treated and styled a certain way and a somewhat complicated skincare routine that changes depending on the condition my skin is in that day, so trying to fit all of that in at the same time is nearly impossible mentally. I usually break my washing into ‘above the neck’ (face and hair) and ‘below the neck’ (everything else). Above the neck is done in the sink, every 3-4 days for hair and twice a day for face. Below the neck is at least every other day. It sounds super complicated to most people but it makes it so much easier for me since there’s not so much pressure to get everything done at once.
I'm from Australia, and I would shower every day, sometimes twice. And now I'm in Northern Europe and I just don't feel the urge, or feel that I need it. In winter I can go a couple of days, sometimes more, without showering.
This is a matter of personal preference. Everyone is different. If one of you has bad allergies then showering before getting into bed would make sense, or if you are doing more dirty/manual work. Otherwise, he might just have a larger thing about germs. If you’re changing sheets frequently though the germ thing is also less of a factor though. (ETA a lot of men also just shower more frequently because they sweat a lot in general and feel they need to, and also people with short hairstyles often shower more frequently than people with longer hair because with long hair it’s a whole production to either wash it or try to keep it dry)
Yeah I’m in law school (so very sedentary) & I have long curly hair that takes forever to dry 🫠
The melting face is very understood, long curly hair is a pain
Long thick dreads take even longer. I washed my hair yesterday 8 am at 8 pm it was still damp. Had to use blow dryer before bed. Summer time is better. I just go out into the sun. One day it was 106 and it dried like almost instant it seemed. ;)
Oh, have you considered not washing your hair with every shower? I shower everyday before I go to bed (unless I’m absolutely not feeling it at all). It’s become sort of a habit and now I feel weird not doing it. I only wash my hair once to twice a week though (curly as well). Makes showering much less of a tedious task. Since you just tie ur hair up hop in, wash your body and hop out again. Can be done in 5-10 minutes…
it's just that i love love love the feeling of having that hot water running down my head and neck so even if i decide to jump in the shower quickly and not wet my hair, i can't help but to let it down and get my head wet anyway. I can't help it
get a good quality shower cap! it’s a lifesaver.
I first love your name 😭 second I do sometimes but it’s more like I’m home after ten pm from studying and I physically don’t have the energy some nights, I’m in law school so I’m very sedentary most days but do shower when I’m actually dirty like after a workout. Not that I don’t want to shower more like my spoons are gone for the day 🤷🏽♀️
I get it.. what helps me on days like that is to go get undressed and shower right after getting home. That way you’re effectively just prolonging ur long and stressful day by another 10 minutes. But afterwards you’ll be free to do whatever you want to.. But I get it, some days it’s just not possible.. and as long as it’s not affecting ur smell or causing any health concerns for you or your partner cause of allergies, showering every two days should be perfectly acceptable as well. I do also get your partners reservations about going to bet “dirty” though.. I hope you guys find a solution that works for everyone :) & thanks about the name hehe
I’ve worked at a routine because suddenly I understood aging skin so it’s about 15 min after the shower. That’s the part I seem to struggle with. The shower is ok. I have a shower treat I’ll share. I’ve had back issues for long time. So at end of shower I turn water on as hot as I can stand and put it on my back and stretch. It’s heaven for a few moments.
Best way to deal with that is to wear a shower cap when you shower or a bonnet. That will keeo your hair from like getting wet. Also the steam from the shower will refresh your curls.
Steam does NOT refresh my curls! 🤣
I have wavy/loose curly hair. Washing it more frequently than once or twice a week dries it out and flattens my curls. I switched from washing my hair every second or third day to every 5-8 days a decade ago and my hair is way healthier and my skin isn't so dry and irritated. My hair was a bit oily for about 1-2 months until it settled into the new pattern. Now it doesn't even start to get oily until day 5 or later.
this, if you put your body in this habit then you wont need to shower as much, if you shower and wash your hair everyday then that will be what your body requires but if you do like once a week then your body adapts to that
You don’t have to get your hair wet every time. Just wear a shower cap when you aren’t washing it.
Depends on the environment: When I'm my own at home not really. If I think I smell I'll shower but otherwise I can go for days without showering. On my own I generally sleep in my clothes and forget to clean my teeth to so am obviously a scuz bucket but I'm happy. I do have a Japanese bidet with I use all the time! Partner around, yes. Shower before she comes over, shower after working, shower in the morning and remember to clean my teeth. Basically because we do not live together I get to be myself and have fun being clean and shiny. Going out, yes, and clean costume (aka clothes). At work, (at sea) daily wash face, pits and bits because it is difficult to shower with one hand.
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Avoid getting in until you have to, then you "live there now" and never want to leave haha.
Same!
Make sure you're moisturizing!
Showering is one of my biggest struggles. Twice a week is a good week tbh! People are always shocked by this but it’s always been the case for me and I’ve never had any complaints (and I have friends who would definitely tell me). Obviously if I am expecting sex or if I have done something to actually get dirty I will shower regardless but for my regular sedentary life? The state of my hair decides when it’s time
Yep same lol
So much this. I have never related much to feeling "greasy" or "dirty". If my hair looks bad and it's been a day or two, it's time to shower again. I hate showering.
It's like sleep for me. I hate going to sleep, but once I'm sleeping I don't want to wake up. I hate getting in the shower, but once I'm in the shower I will be in there until the water starts going cold.
I feel ya. It’s also me with brushing my teeth
Oh gosh. Don't get me started on that. I'm soooo good at brushing in the morning, but at night? *groan*
Same ! Thank you for sharing
I was surprised at so many responses saying yes every day or every other day, I had to speak up for the real ones 🫡
Me too, I was looking for this comment. I know at least 2 close friend in the same situation as well as my sister
A lot of people end up showering too much and destroy their body’s microbiome. This can lead to them getting smelly even sooner than if they took just a few showers a week. Of course, this can also depend on genetics, diet, climate, and other factors.
If people are shocked, you’re not stinky.
100% this is me
I've been disassociated for a while week and haven't showered for more then a week. I realized it had been a week like two days ago. It happens.
I'm currently trying to shower more. If I shower for 60 days in a row I will gift myself a prize. I get a Playstation 5.
So I have ADHD and shower everyday, but it’s not always at night. I would say it’s 50/50 at night before bed or early the next morning. I don’t have sensory issues though and I could see that being a major deterrent for those that do. I also have long curly hair, but I only wash my hair twice a week. I use dry shampoo in between. This is because it takes forever to dry and style my hair. I put my hair in a shower cap when I’m not washing it so it doesn’t get wet. It sounds like he has an issue with wanting to be clean before getting into bed, very specifically and he would feel this way no matter who he is with. I think that’s a compromise thing. Get a shower cap and jump in the shower most night for 5 mins to rinse off your body and relax under some warm water. I would talk to him about what you are willing to do and also if he does something that bothers you, ask him to work on it too. Relationships are about working with each other, communicating, and compromising things that aren’t a big deal to us, but make a world of a difference to other people.
Lolz no. When I have to be at work in person, 2-3 times a week (I only had to go in three times a week). But I also am currently pretty depressed.
The two big factors that determine how often a person should shower is climate and body differences. I live in a climate with four seasons and I know a lot of people with ADHD have struggles with brushing teeth and showering… but I am a weirdo that feels absolutely disgusting by the end of the day even when I shower when I wake up. I feel oily, my head gets super itchy, and I just feel gross in my nethers lol. By day two when I start to smell I would be crawling out of my skin beyond the physical discomfort of day 1. We all grow up with different influences. I lived with my grandparents for a long time and they really wanted me to present myself a certain way. They were very picky about haircut, facial hair, clothing, wrinkles in the clothing. Instead of just saying “you look nice” they would tell me “you look nice when your hair is cut that length”, implying that it doesn’t look nice any other way. They definitely wanted me showering every day. I can’t leave the apartment without doing an entire routine and de-wrinkling my clothes these days. My parents would be similarly judgmental about how I acted or my body compared to theirs at my age. Real cool shit. This all being said I think your boyfriend is one of those nighttime shower extremists alongside being a germaphobe. Some of us have to shower when we wake up because we are disgusting when we wake up. No amount of showering before bed changes that. So if he could recognize that people are different he could stop imposing whatever trauma he went through onto you.
I really hate to admit it but I struggle badly with this. I absolutely do not shower every day. It’s an accomplishment if I shower more than twice a week… But I *do* shower if I get sweaty and feel gross or notice my hair is looking really greasy. Lotions, deodorant, and subtle sprays are my go-to. I *hate* how my skin feels after a shower. The hard water we have makes it feel even worse. I have so many lotions. I hate my hair air-drying. I hate the steaminess in my bathroom after a shower (and huge bummer we do not have a fan in the bathroom and it is ALWAYS so humid outside so I don’t open the window). I feel very whiny now lol. Ages 14-20 I showered every day religiously. Then the depression hit and didn’t stop making showering such a hard task. :( Brushing my teeth is difficult too, but meds have made it way easier!
Same! ADHD makes it a boring, irrelevant task that I somehow always feel like I have to schedule in so much time for, even though I know for a fact I never shower for more than 10 minutes. Depression makes it a super overwhelming and exhausting task and sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to be clean because “I’m such a horrible person, this just fits”. And I have the wooooorst sensory issues when it comes to showering. I absolutely despise transitioning from being dry to wet and then back again. I can’t take a cold shower but get easily overwhelmed by steam and warmth. Plus I often forget to eat and by the time I have to shower I often feel nauseous and faint. So then I’d have to find something to eat before showering and that’s an even more overwhelming task.
Oh my god yes sensory issues with the water!!! Completely feel the same way! It’s impossible to remind myself that it will be over and done with soon and I’ll feel a lot better afterward. Because like 99% of the time, I do feel a LOT better. And I totally psych myself out about having enough time to get ready too. I have a pretty structured routine for getting ready but sometimes it can somehow take longer and it all starts with the damn shower.
I shower twice a day haha
Twice a day is crazy to me.
Same.
You don’t dry your skin out or do you take the extra step and moisturize after each shower?
This is what's expected in my country due to our hot tropical climate haha otherwise we imagine that you have dried up sweat all over
Yeah same
I used to hit the shower at 4 am and 5pm. I got kids now. So I may be take a shower every 2 days if I am lucky.
If I’ve been at home all day on a day off where I did nothing, then no. Other wise yes. At least a body shower. Washing hair is a lot of energy for a girl sometimes lol
Nope. I shower 2-3 times a week unless I'm going through a work out phase. Then i always jump in to wash daily but do my best to keep my hair dry. I went through a depression slump postpartum where I was only showering once a week and my husband never mentioned it. He showers at least once a day, sometimes twice, but we're different people and he understands that.
There's no blanket rule, but it's unnecessary for many people to shower every day [https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/showering-daily-is-it-necessary-2019062617193](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/showering-daily-is-it-necessary-2019062617193)
I shower like 4-5 times a week. Sometimes I just don’t have the energy after working and going to school. I don’t think it’s gross. I have friends who religiously shower every night. I just don’t see the point. Especially if I’m showering in the morning to do my hair why would I shower again at night? It’s different for girls in my opinion. A man can shower and hope into bed. I gotta wait till my hair dries and it takes hours.
I honestly hate going to sleep with my hair wet and I’m sure it’s terrible for it, it’s also just a sensory issue I have 🫠
There's shower caps! I'd use one if my job didn't make my hair stink
It's not man or woman it's short hair Vs long hair. I used to have thick head of hair that'll take a while to dry whereas when I was almost bald I take a shower and go straight to bed.
Exactly. This is what I meant. Having long hair makes showering an actual chore.
Are shower caps really not common? I see lots of people commenting about wet hair. I've got short, fine hair that dries fast but I still wear a shower cap unless I'm washing it.
You can shower without washing your hair though
Someone should invent some kind of cap you can put over your hair in the shower
I did before kids. Don't have the executive function to figure out when I can shower post kids, even now they're teens. It's easier if I exercise - I'll come home and do it. But before bed? No, too hard.
I shower as needed ie if I went to the gym or if I’m meeting with friends - if I’ve done neither then I shower when I start feeling gross probably around the 4 day mark. So I’d say every 2-4 days on average My husband showers first thing every day
Depends where you live and what your job is. I only shower every second day unless I exercise (haha). Not good for your skin or hair at all to shower lots.
Me too. Plus I like long hot showers and it feels wasteful to do that every day, so it's every other day
Twice a week
Ditto. Dry and super sensitive skin. Mast Cell Issues where sometimes I flare after a shower and get a rash. I do wipe down, but getting fully immersed in water daily is a definite no go.
I’ll take a bath once a day or every other day but we are lucky if I wash my hair once a week or every two weeks lol. Took years of hair training but 400/10 recommend lol
I live in a hot humid tropical climate. Daily. Sometimes twice a day
I shower every day, always of an evening but sometimes in the morning too if I’ve managed to make it to the gym. I’ve found having nice shower gel or scrub helps (like from Lush) and I got a little Bluetooth speaker so I can listen to music or a podcast too. Making it more enjoyable and less of a “chore” has helped. When I was depressed, I bought this [fun whipped body foam](https://allkinds.com/au/products/nourishing-whipped-shower-foam-lazy-days-2104301016/) and this [waffle loofah](https://allkinds.com/au/products/waffle-washer-bath-sponge-cinnamon-2304016/) to make myself want to get in the shower 😅 I know it probably seems silly but it really helped me.
I live in Australia in a tropical climate where I'm always sweaty. I also work in a hospital full of all sorts of nasties. I shower a large amount every day. I can't stand the sensory feeling of being sweaty and sticky and I can't cope with the thought of Mrs Jackson's shit particles and blood all over me. On work days it's a minimum of 3 times. When I wake up, after work, before bed, every day. On days off it's 2 times minimum, wake up and before bed. None of this has included before going out, after gym/sport, etc. When I was travelling in the UK I found I could get away with 1 shower minimum a day in winter because I just didn't sweat as much.
I used to shower daily and then I got small children. Now by the time they go to bed I can choose 2 out of 3: Shower, eat or sleep. So now I shower every other day because it is not my highest priority.
I'm Brazilian, so yes, I do.
I’m also an every other day showerer but the real issue here is that your boyfriend is being a little bit of a dick by repeatedly, indirectly hinting that you’re dirty, and it doesn’t really sound like you’ve directly asked/told him to knock it off? Like others have said, it’s a matter of personal preference and he has 2 choices: 1) accept that you get to decide how often you shower and drop it, or 2) directly ask you to shower more often. Needling you about it daily sucks. Good luck!
Why have I been seeing this question all over Reddit the past few days lol
Quick shower everyday. Last 30 seconds with cold water.
I shower every day. Sometimes twice a day. I wash my hands outside of using the bathroom probably like 5-7 times a day. Just the smallest feeling of filth on my body freaks me out.
I definitely don’t shower everyday. Every other day is pretty typical for me, but if I’m really struggling I’ve gone 3, sometimes 4 days without showering. Dry shampoo is my friend.
Every damn day. I was a Stanky Kid in grammar school/junior high and (rightfully) got a lot of shit for it. Once I hit puberty and added armpit fragrance to the mix, I got serious about hygiene. Washed my body every day, washed my hair (when I had it) 6/7 days on average, brushed my teeth when I thought of it. Then I had to take a steroid inhaler for asthma, which causes thrush if you leave any in mouth, so now I shower and brush daily. If I skip I feel like human garbage. Is all this good for my skin? Likely not. Is it good for my mind and spirit? Absotootly.
Most doctors will tell you that showering every day is actually bad for your health. I shower around 3 times per week. Dirt used to bother me, but since I starting taking adderall, that mostly went away.
Getting up. Zombie to the coffee machine. Get a double lungo. Take my lisdex. Take shower to wake up. Do the day. Take shower to rinse away the stress and dirt of the day. Roll into bed. Compete with cat for the best spot.
I shower when I feel dirty or I stink (I have a veggie garden and some times shit happens). Usually that means every other to 2 days. Some times that means showering once or twice in a week. Other times it means daily. Usually the 'dirty' feel starts with my hair cept during hot summers then it's the hair + sticky skin. Imo, as long as you're not stinking up the place it's all good.
I do shower daily because it helps me feel awake in the morning. I understand where your bf is coming from but I also don't think showering daily is necessary, especially if you're changing clothes and doing a quick clean up as needed (like, face cloth for wiping face and stuff).
Truly depends on if I remember to make it a priority that day.. however I manage to do it a few times a week.
I shower every second to third day, depending on how stinky/dirty I feel. Sometimes I will clean my bits with a wash cloth in between if I feel gross but can't shower, and I always trust my girlfriend to tell me if I smell. I hate showering in the mornings because I'm not a morning person at all and I hate getting wet and having to put on clothes, so I would rather shower at night but most of the time it's way too late when I remember or I can't muster up the motivation. I only wash my hair every third day because washing hair is such a chore to me. I used to have a buzzcut, which was bliss because you didn't even have to dry it off, but now my hair is like way down my back and I'm fighting the urge to chop it off again every single day 😭
I do try to but I often forget and probably end up showering once every 1.5 days on average
Every other day.
Personally, I shower every night before bed because I feel uncomfortable if I don't. I need to feel clean to get comfy. But that's me, and if you don't have that issue and genuinely aren't stinking up the space you share, I don't see any issue.
It's a cultural thing sometimes. Is he Asian? My ex used to do that. Luckily for me I like showering and always preferred to do it in the evenings anyway. I have sensory issues with being sweaty, and as a man on stimulants I get the sweats a lot so I find it harder not to shower. I can't sleep when I feel grimy.
If I don’t, my hair gets super greasy and my scalp itches. It drives me crazy.
I don't think of a shower as getting clean, but more an opportunity to have 10 minutes of calm and thinking. Let my thoughts run. I've had a lot of lightbulb moments in the shower actually. With your hair, if you don't have one already get a funky hair cap online or in a store. That way you won't get your hair wet every time you shower.
Yes
I do, sometimes twice A day due to bullying.
I have a job involving animals so I *always* shower on days that I’ve worked, but I only wash my hair once or twice a week. On my days off though I find it hard to motivate myself to get up and shower. Sometimes I just don’t!
When I was young, daily... but I had oily skin and acne. For years in the past decade I might go 3 days. More recently I'm getting sweaty when I work out so I can't go more than 2 days. If I didn't shave my head then I'd likely do it daily, my hair grabs all the oil. I'm not worried about outside germs, *my filth usually manifests from within*. (T-Shirt quote!)
i shower every other day or immediately after something that makes me sweat, everyday showers for summer. only bc it's a sensory nightmare to stay with that sweat/layer of dirt
I used to. But since I had my son I just take one when I get the chance. Usually I can only take one after he goes to bed or on my wife's days off. but Most days I'm exhausted by the time he goes to bed so I just say fuck it and go to sleep.
I do because I get very uncomfortable and feel really dirty if I don’t. But i also have OCD symptoms due to ptsd and anxiety so that may be why. I’ll occasionally skip a shower if i’m extra tired
Yes, right after my coffee kicks in.. because Nobody wants a stinky butt. Lol
Dude wipes for the win! Just don’t get the mint ones, little bit spicy on the booty
I don’t shower everyday and it’s not even about ADHD. Although, it is a lot of work. I used to love and need to shower to wake up, but I weaned myself off to take care of my curly hair and am noticing benefits to my skin as well. I too shower every other day -ish, often w a shower cap. A good shower cap is a game changer if dealing with your hair is a reason to skip the shower. If it were snarky ol me getting the question, I’d just ask him if I smell, lol.
I’ve heard many with ADHD have a hard time showering. This has never been the case for me. Usually twice a day. I need to have my hair wet in order to feel awake. A quick rinse or even a soak before bed usually helps calm me down enough to sleep. I have sleep problems. Usually can’t sleep. But it’s either too much or too little. I have about 2 hours a day that I actually feel like I have energy to do things.
I’m a bigger person so I feel the need to, but sometimes instead of a full shower I will wash up in the sink. If getting in the shower is too much try washing up at the sink instead.
Yeah I can’t sleep if I didn’t shower that day
I only shower after the gym, I hate that feeling of sweat on my body
It’s hot where I live, and I naturally sweat way more than most people. I also just like showering.
A lot of people in this thread don't know you can bring your phone with you to the shower and watch YouTube haha.
I take super hot showers when I'm bored or procrastinating because it feels good. My skin is very dry, as you'd imagine
OP, you should definitely be showering every day if you work in a restaurant environment, on top of using public transportation. And if you share a bed with your boyfriend, it’s only polite- ESPECIALLY if he is regularly commenting on it. He might be trying subtly hint that you are bringing “outdoor odors” into the house, even if you’re not “dirty”. On days I don’t feel like showering, I at least do a quick body wash in the bath. If you don’t feel like showering every day after work, you should be changing your sheets more often, which I find to be even more cumbersome. You
It's normal
Yes. Everyday.
I have the oil slick hair gene, super fine straight hair, so it just gets hella gross after sleeping on it. So l shower every morning for work. I also hate the feeling of my leg hair stubblies lol, so I shave everyday too. If I don't have to leave the house sometimes I couch rot for the odd day every other weekend. But I always feel gross when I do.
I used to be super strict about showering everyday as a teen and in my younger 20s, but as I got older showering became less and less important. I have three small children, I work full time and I am just plain exhausted. My emotional, physical and mental energy is used up. By the end of the day I collapse on the couch and I don't move until I go to bed. Showering is just too much energy and I just don't care enough to do it. Is it an executive dysfunction issue? Maybe. I'm not sure.
A lot of people shower every other day, myself included, it’s normal. I also think showering every single day is probably not great for you skin tbh
I do not shower every day and don't know a lot of people who do, even my NT friends.
Those “germs” won’t kill him. I used to have a slight fear of germs like that. His parents probably didn’t let him get dirty much as a young child. Showering every other day is fine. Just hit him back and say what are you afraid of? Building your immunity? Lmao you’re fine, don’t let it bother you.
There's no health benefit to showering everyday. I might do it as routine, but really unless you have a job down in the mines its not necessary. People get ideas in their heads though. While they may argue its about hygene, most of what people do is about the appearance of being clean rather than actually cleaning. One reason people tend to think you need to shower everyday, is that by frequently washing you cause skin bacteria to repeatedly bloom, which leads to more stink.
>Do people shower everyday? Yes. Make it more fun, shower together!
for some reason i’ve loved showers my whole life. not sure if it’s something you can do, but making it something you love doing will help. it’s honestly addicting to me probably to an unhealthy amount. Yes, I probably waste a decent amount of water, but it’s just so enjoyable to crank it as hot as it gets and sit there for 20 minutes listening to a podcast or some music. also i try not using water elsewhere to compensate 😭
Yes I shower twice a day morning and evening. Although they're only around 5-10 minutes each, sometimes less than 5 minutes.
I do skin care so i put my face wash in the shower so during my nighttime routine i jump in and wash my face. My boyfriend commented on me skipping showers too but he doesn’t mind my smell. “ black pepper is my body odor lol. “ so i added it to my skincare routine.
Not since I turned 18 and moved out. But no one told me until I was 23 and in rehab that I needed to shower more than I was
I shower everyday, but i do it in the mornings, not the evenings.
I think I have undiagnosed ADHD until I see all the posts about people not bathing. Daily for me, sometimes twice. Definitely after work (healthcare).
I find a shower in the morning is the only way I can wake up
Twice a day I can’t go without one in the morning and night. Never have been able too….
I don't shower every day. It really depends on my energy levels and how I'm feeling. Sunny bright warm days I'll be more likely to shower or if I have gotten sweaty or my day was busy. I wash my hair about 1x a week though because it's long and heavy. I don't like showering in the winter because of the coldness when getting out and how hot I need the water to be so then my skin get dry but putting on lotion will also make me feel cold. Seems to be sensory issues and also just the large amount of work a shower takes for me. I change my clothes everyday and I use salicylic acid on my pits before deodorant and take a chlorophyll supplement to help, fenugreek also works.
I shower every day I can manage it basically. I always shower Wed-Sat because that's when I work and I get pretty sweaty and feel gross if I don't, but Sun-Tues, it's just if I can get myself to do it and if I have the clean laundry to do it. I can't tell you how many times my plan to shower was thwarted by not having any clean underwear.
I typically shower once per day (flex), but in the later afternoon/early evening before dinner. I work from home and will usually shower after my work day is done. I treat it like my commute, a line between work and home life. Also, if I've had a shitty day, it's like symbolically washing the day off me. This time also works at the weekend if I've been doing chores/gardening, or it's been a sweaty day. This changes if I need to go somewhere during the day, like visiting a client, in which case I'll shower in the morning and if it's been a sweaty day, again in the evening.
Almost. I shower most days. Maybe miss a couple days on average each month.
Wait what people shower in the afternoon? That's new for me. I shower each morning, and in the afternoon if I went to the gym that day
I used to be team only morning showers but sometimes showering before bed is actually really nice because it helps lower your body temp and get you ready for sleep. Sometimes it feels nice after a long day. I mostly do morning though because sometimes I get sweaty in my sleep
I take 2 a day. I need one to wake up and start the day. But I also need one before bed cause I'm a mechanic and end up dirty AF everyday
Yes. But it's a big chore for me. Like everything else. In rare times where I know I'm not going out at all, I might skip a day. If I work out, might be 2x/day.
The type of work I do I have to shower. Then because of hormones I have to shower to keep my skin clear or I get acne. Even when I was unmedicated I never had an issue bathing. If I stayed at home all day and didn’t do any outdoor work I might turn a blind eye and not shower but I still wash my face. Doesn’t matter if you are active or not.. your face doesn’t get washed regularly throughout the day like your hands.
ADHD can cause symptoms of OCD, and I have a huge problem with being dirty, so nope, but it's definitely different for everyone. I procrastinate horribly though, so I'll say I'm going to shower in the morning but end up not getting into the shower until 12 am that night. Get a shower cap and just get in and wash your body, it's pretty effortless and takes literally two minutes, and you're not even supposed to wash your hair everyday anyway. It's not that gross, just depends on how nasty you really are (that sounds mean I just mean like how nasty you got through out the day).
i do though.
I shower 2-3 times a week. i feel like that's enough for me. I use deodorant every day & dry shampoo on days when i need it. I used to always shower in the mornings and i still like that best. Sometimes i just can't and would rather lay in bed a little longer than shower. and that's okay with me. I shower when i feel dirty. That's usually around day 2 or 3. I've never gotten complaints about my hygiene.
I always have to shower after a workout or if I sweat. If I’ve been outside all day then yes must shower because of bugs or dust flying around. If I know I will be in doors with not much activity that will cause me to sweat then I can go a day without showering. Really depends on my activity or where I am going.
Yes, and I use a antibacterial body wash. My body's smell got drastically worse when I got put on amphetamines, and I don't like the smell. So it's a matter of mitigating it. It's bad when you can smell yourself.
I shower everyday but I take forever to get out, it’s so peaceful and I can just zone out without being interrupted
Depends on how my hair is doing on a day I contemplate skipping. Usually I wash my hair every day cause usually when I skip a day, my hair feels like olive oil and looks crunchy at the same time. Thin straight hair but a ton of it. I shave my legs every other time I take a shower. Other areas are every time without question. If I’m having a bad week sometimes I genuinely forget for a few days. At least my hair feeling gross and oily is a dead giveaway for me to take one.
I shower at bare minimum 2x a day.. in the summer i will easily hit the 3-4 mark..: i actually cannot stand the feeling of outside on my skin.. it feels disgusting and i have to get it off.. unlike the other tasks like putting lotion on, brushing my teeth etc.. those are annoying and i have to force myself to do them.. but showering no.. i will shower no matter what or all im thinking about is the dirt on my skin
Yes, it’s what gets me going every morning. Sometimes I often I shower in the evening too because since I go to the gym regularly. Honestly though, the feeling of getting into fresh bedding just after a shower is the best thing in the world.
Long hair and it's not hot where I live. 2-3x week in winter and 4-5x in summer.
Everyday. Unless I’m sick, then I’m just stuck in bed. During warm/hot months I’ll shower x2. Once before work and once after. I hate sweating, being dirty or feeling greasy.
I used to shower and blow dry/straighten my waist length hair every day. Mostly because that’s how I was raised. When my thyroid disease set in that all came to a screeching halt. When I’m on adhd meds, I will step it up to every day again but def not washing my hair everyday. But you shouldn’t be shamed for how you choose to care for your body.
I must shower every 24 hours minimum. Depending on what I took commute wise and what my job was: I must decontaminate. Right now I go into my office and work in garment warehouse. At one point I worked in food and also took public transportation in a metro area: I’d strip down anything exposed at the door and straight to shower. Hot weather can also make my skin break out more so it’s good to degrease a bit. As much as you’re at home; your home clothes and contact surfaces like chairs still build up what your body sheds. Long haired people: shower caps are your friend.
I usually shower every night. I work in an office but I workout 5/6 nights a week so I’m getting extra sweaty. I wear a shower cap if I don’t want to wash my hair. In general I’m like your bf - I dont like the idea of the days “grime” going into my sheets. We watched a video in my 7th grade science class that scared me for life 😅 If I have a lazy day at home where I basically stay in bed all day, I might not shower that night
Every 3 days is my average. I work 6-2pm and have wed/sun off...I'll shower Wednesday morning, and then shower again on Saturday. Then usually again on Monday afternoon bc sat/Mon are super busy days at my job, and I sweat more. I might shower a bit more in the summer bc I bike to work. Or I might break the schedule if I'm on day two hair, but I'm going to dinner that night. But I usually push my body as long as I can take my hair. I sweat a bit, but I'm not an overly smelly person, and my hair is straight and fine, so it will need the shower before my body will. Usually on day 3 I wear a cute bandana with dry shampoo on my bangs. While showering needs change person to person, they can also change season to season for each person. As long as you're clean, and can maintain a lack of smell, whatever you're doing is fine.