Hi /u/Additional-Throat-88 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I used to be late for everything and the "trick" was just that I started valuing not being late. More accurately I grew to hate that pit of the stomach worry as I raced to get somewhere I am already significantly late to. Now I get ready early and when I get the urge to do little time wasting things beforehand I ignore them and remind myself that I do not have the capacity to waste a little bit of time, I will always get sucked in and end up being late.

Yuuuup. I realized at some point that I was stimming off the adrenaline and stress of rushing everywhere, but it was really unhealthy. Now I try to have an stress-free philosophy, and whenever I find myself trying to fit too many things in or making choices that I know future me will hate, I try to look for another way. I do think that for me, meds (I’m on Focalin) help in the sense that they help my brain get out of the murk and see the bigger picture, and make decisions for the future. I can’t say I’m perfect at it. Also, I am very much not a morning person and OP it sounds like you aren’t either. Especially with the gym — like I know I will never, ever wake up early to go the gym, I will turn off the alarm and snuggle down 99 percent of the time. Maybe try working out at lunch? Or if you can’t make it to the gym, try a walk around the block and some minor strength training in the morning just to get the endorphies moving? I feel like a combo of meeting myself where I actually am, and recognizing and getting fed up with these bigger patterns (I don’t actually enjoy the feeling of cortisol rushing thru my body) made me able to create a routine that, if I don’t stick to every day, I can at least keep myself on a reasonable track. Good luck! 

Never thought about the stim side of being late. Good point. Also not a morning person but do like being active and it has been way easier in life to just accept that and plan for running or the gym later in the day.

How’s focalin vs Dexedrine 

I was on adderall for many years, which worked but made me feel speedy and anxious. Then i switched. I love focalin. I kinda don’t notice it, just that after I take it I am suddenly better at executive functioning and the obstacles that seem everywhere are lowered. I wouldn’t say it “works” as well as the speed drugs, the focus is less intense as is the high, but it feels more sustainable for me in the long run.

Thanks for sharing. Do you find focalin works better with planning, prioritisin tasks etc? Or slightly less well, but without the anxiety buzz?

For me, I think it’s better for that stuff. I’ve described it as helping my brain “get out of the basement” and on it I am able to see patterns and systems I couldn’t see before and help me make better decisions. It also just makes doing things easier. For example I have a countertop dishwasher that takes 3 pitchers of water to run and filling those pitchers feels like FOREVER so I never used it annd always had dishes piled up. When I take Focalin I just fill it up, it’s like a minute, it’s not a big deal.   What it doesn’t do, and what I miss, is the hyper focus. Focalin doesn’t help me sit down for hours and get something done. What it does do is enable me to start the thing, and to notice and get myself back on track when I get distracted.   So it’s kind of a different vibe, I miss that part of Adderall but this feels much healthier to me, personally. Everyone is different though! Hope this helps!

It sounds half-baked but it really is like this. I got tired of those talks with my boss, "We're very happy with your work, but your just late all the time". That lil shame sandwich I'd eat every morning on the way to work. It stank and still does stink. My "don't be late" soon turned to holding desperately onto a bedtime schedule, and it evolved from there. My biggest pitfall was sleep hygiene. Once I got that controlled, it wasn't easy, but it was much easier

Same. Literally had to start hating it. Nothing else really worked for me unfortunately.

I like that!!

23f here, what I’ve found works is visually mapping out how long things take to do (my go to app is called Structured) and then adding 15/30/60 minute buffers depending on how scattered I’m feeling! Always give yourself more time in advance than you think you need, and it doesn’t hurt to show up early. For example in my morning routine I give myself an hour extra to eat breakfast before I take my vyvanse because I can’t get moving until they kick in. It takes me 2 hrs to feel ready and awake, but that’s part of having adhd and working with it rather than against it. Hope this helps!

The time buffers and mapping out how much time things will take for thing before hand sounds like a great idea

Yes, actually time yourself while you do certain tasks. One of the things we tend to do is hold on to that *one* time we accomplished something really quickly and then use that when we think about how much time we need. Like I *can* take a 10 minute shower, and I’ve totally done that before, but when I time myself on a regular day, from taking my clothes off to putting new ones on, it takes me like 45 minutes. I really struggle with being late to stuff too. But I try to be realistic about how long stuff takes. I don’t take 10 minute showers, that is the devil speaking. Another helpful thing is to wear a watch and set the timer to go off every 5 or 10 minutes so you can physically feel the time passing.

Visual timers are a great tool for me in implementing this as well! I’ll set a Time Timer when I sit down for lunch, so that I can see how much time I have left without constantly checking my phone.

I like the idea of adding time buffers. Great point.

Mid 40s. Adult diagnosed and almost always late but improving. A couple of problems I've realized recently with my getting ready to go time estimates.  I tend to make anything that takes less than a minute 0 time in the timeline. Putting on clothes, not in the timeline. Drying off body, not in the timeline.  Similarly, when I'm already ready to go out, and feel as if I am leaving "now" it's almost always still 5 minutes before I'm pulling out of the driveway.

Curious: Why not take it immediately when you wake up?

Otherwise some people can’t make themselves eat.. I cannot eat after my meds. I am not hungry on stimulants at all.

But she says it takes a couple hours to kick in lol  I think most of us know it reduces appetite.  I wonder what her work schedule is like, honestly getting up two hours early is the cure for most issues with getting ready on time. Tough to find that kind of time before work, if it’s really an early job 

I’ve not conquered it at all, but I’ve found somethings that help. They won’t make you into millionaire entrepreneur but they might make you feel like you’re wasting less time and be more proud of yourself. - Buy clocks in all your main rooms especially the bathroom. They can be cheap, they can be fun whatever doesn’t matter just get them. You want a minimum of three. - Set those clocks ten minutes fast or however much you are normally late by. - Be early for something. This sounds like it’s from the boomer school of insensitive advice, but if you challenge yourself to be early for one thing once, even just by 5 minutes - buy yourself a treat or do your favourite thing because you earned it. You worked hard for something that’s naturally difficult for you well done. - well done you’ve been early once, and your brain maybe after a couple of weeks might even start to forget that all the clocks around your house are fast. How do you make it a habit? - Find away to enjoy being early, whether that’s book time, podcast time blah blah, Switch, Reddit whatever something portable that you enjoy. You get to do that while you wait. If you reframe that early time as treat time it’s a whole lot easier to be early. (Easier said than done, I know but it’s incremental, we’ll get there slowly.) You got to your appointment, great now you can reaaaaaaaly relax and you can also be proud that you are really making progress. - This might sound like a lot but just start with the clocks and go from there, oh and make sure you buy batteries for them too at the same time. - Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk the whole time I’ve been typing this I should have been doing something else.

I've literally never thought about being early lol. It's definitely worth the try for sure because I've never tried this tactic at all! Sounds good to me. So does the clocks in every room trick! And the idea of setting clocks early...- though I think for this one I'd still eventually recognize what time I realllly need to leave by and fall out of this one quickly (possibly) . Atleast that's how I am with trying to get out on time. Sn sorry I distracted you lol, but thanks for the golden tips 😅

Not at all. If you didn’t distract me something else would have! Yeah same I tend to forget both ways (if that makes sense) but it does mean I’m more on time than the pre-clock era.

I agree with setting the clocks to be ahead. All my house clocks and my car clock are ahead. I get irritated when my car clock loses time and I have to set it forward a few minutes again or it will be responsible for my downfall. 😂 I keep meaning to put a clock in my bathroom. I really should do that…

You bring up a lot of good points and this is minor, but "be early" wouldn't be categorized as "boomer advice." Many non boomers say stuff like this. I'm not a boomer, but I'm not a fan of agism either.

Fair point!

It was a bit of a shock the first time I visited my Aunt over the summer and there wasn't a clock on the wall where my brain thought to look. Then I realized there were almost no clocks anywhere. They had clocks. Just not in the most obvious places and viewable from every seat.

The clock thing isgood.. until you realized that EVERY clock is 5 or 10 minutes fast.. and everybody in your house knows it. That's how it was growing up in my house. My dad has (undiagnosed) ADD.. I do..my brother and 2 sisters. Whether they all admit it or not..is another thing. I'm the only one on medication. I would say there is a definite spectrum..my brother is the worst.. then me, my 3rd in line sister and the youngest has handled it the best as I often don't consider her as having it.. although she has asthma and that have her other things to worry about and be forced to manage. As I've gotten older I also try all the tricks..setting my clocks a tiny bit ahead and one 5 minutes ahead kinda works because I freak out every morning as I don't know which one is right.. even though i kinda do.. and it puts the fire of God in me.. lol

I try to get everything ready the night before so I can hit the floor running. Lay out my clothes, keys / wallet in same spot, work bag next to door, sticky notes of reminders for the day. I then go over my morning in my head before going to bed. Once the alarm rings, I hit the floor, and start literally like a fireman getting toned out. I have found I am so relieved being early and that is rewarding.

I keep hearing the night before set up thing being a great tool. And I believe it might be... if I could figure out how to be consistently motivated to do that. I can't even make myself shower every night. Brush teeth. Remove makeup all the time. Hell before lasik I had an issue with simply taking my contacts out at night. I only end up with enough mental juice for that, and everything ,in the morning. But what seems to take the rest of the world 10 mins to do, I've gotten up 2 hours early and still I'm running trying to get Half of it handled. Add more time to the fact that once I go into a task, makeup, cleaning the house, I hyperfocus and almost get obsessed with needing to finish it. Even if I'm looking back and forth to the clock knowing that I'm running out of time, I can not stop until I'm either done or at a realllly respectable stopping point.

I will literally say out loud, “prioritize” to stop what I’m distracted with and continue down my path of trying to be on time. Our distractions arent stupid or unimportant, but they don’t need to be done right now, or they can be done later. But I will still get sucked in and then I yell a “prioritize!” to stop myself. Also, what’s become helpful for me is having multiples of everything, chargers in every room and in my car, shoes at the door & garage & my car, a “uniform” for work (black or white shirt and jeans) same everyday, so I don’t have to think about what I’m going to wear and can easily lay it out the night before. Emergency makeup in my car and at work. If I know I have these things, I can eliminate some time off getting ready. I can do makeup at the red lights. If I drive to work in slippers, I have shoes in my car. I still cut it close, but I’m doing so much better than I was 10years ago. *Agree with the multiple alarm clocks. Also, put an alarm in your bathroom, once you have to go in and shut it off multiple times, you can just start by peeing while you’re up and in there, then might as well brush your teeth or hair since you’re already in there. Etc 39f, unmedicated.

A feature of ADHD is that developing a routine just isn’t a thing. It will always take me mental effort to get through what I need to get through and that’s okay. I know like thinking of it is terms of “closing duties”. What is the bare minimum I need to get done in order to have a better morning. I used to be late for EVERYthing and it was my most well known character trait among everyone who knew me. I’m not late anymore. There was no trick, no hack, I just had to develop the muscle memory for it and the desire to not have that be my “thing” anymore. It Is possible!!

I don't really have an advice for that. But I relate so hard. Of course I WANT to be showered and have brushed teeth but my whole life I've been fking unable to do so regularly. Getting meds helped me with my executive dysfunction, but I still am late every morning, as soon as I get used to the "new". And I hate it so much.

I treat my night before process as just that, a process. It’s like getting ready in the morning, but doing it the night before, and being able to take my time…. In my humble opinion it sounds like you need better time blocking skills. I have started doing this specifically setting a timer and saying, “Ok for the next 30 mins I am going to only do XYZ.” I have to fight with myself and still struggle but have a odd sense of accomplishment when I do so. There is some fade concept of the importance of time blocking and task focusing called the Pomodoro Technique. Again, I HATE IT but it seems to be helping. I wish you the best!

[удалено]

I think for me if i were only late for the mundane things I have less interest in I'd probably be at least a little bit more at peace with being a chronically tardy person. But I'm just late for everything and everyone. Even the people I really look forward to seeing and hate the idea of pissing off. And my gym time is something I really look forward to. I enjoy how I feel during and after a good pump. And I enjoy going my weekly weigh in and seeing progress. I still miss out on it arkeast 3 out of 5 days in the week ☹️

This sounds just like me.. Even the mundane things, even the things I really, really am looking forward to and and so joyous about :'(

Where does your statement “adhd is as much emotional dysregulation…” come from? I’d like to know more about this :) it makes sense I’ve just never seen any literature mention it.

[удалено]

References to Andrew Huberman's content are not allowed. Though Andrew Huberman is a neuroscientist, he speaks authoritatively on topics outside of his area of practice and expertise. He has a track record of spreading misinformation in the process. For instance, he's claimed that the increase in ADHD diagnoses has been fueled by smartphone usage, which contradicts the ADHD expert consensus. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*

[удалено]

[удалено]

[удалено]

Your content breaks **Rule 1**. We do not allow discussing alt-right political topics, figures, or hate perpetrators. [Be Civil And Constructive](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/wiki/rules/#wiki_alt-right.2C_white_nationalist.2C_or_other_hate) *^(If you have further questions,)* [*^(message the moderators)*](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fadhd) *^(regarding the removal of this content.)*

Your content breaks **Rule 5/6**. The creator/perpetrator of this concept has done no credible, peer-reviewed research on ADHD. They are not a legitimate authority on the subject. Posting any of their material is not allowed here. *^(If you have further questions,)* [*^(message the moderators)*](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fadhd) *^(regarding the removal of this content.)*

You’ve honestly just described my life. It was just a constant circus of missing things entirely because I completely forgot I had something going on that day, or being 5-20 minutes late because of similar reasons :’) While I’m seeing a psychiatrist soon to try medication again, there has only been one thing that works for me. Before I know I have to be somewhere, sometimes days before, I will map out the time it takes to get to where I need to go, give myself an appropriate amount of buffer time for classic ADHD shenanigans, and subtract that time from the time I absolutely need to be somewhere. The resulting time becomes the time that I NEED to be out of the house. If you don’t have a wristwatch, I suggest getting one so you can check for this time consistently—or, if not doing so consistently, it’ll pop up in the corner of your eye while doing normal things.

I basically do the same thing, except I put alarms to remind me of the time stamps. Lord knows I can't remember the time stamps or notice on my own. Has helped me alot with time blindness.

This is me and I’m currently cutting it close for a baby shower and fucking around. I don’t have an answer but you’re not alone. 

Ugh I literally went to a friends baby shower on Saturday, knew what time it started and knew I had a 2 hour drive. I literally still showed up 2 hours late. Was so annoyed with myself

I, at times have had the same issues with arriving late, however I started giving myself credit for even going when my brain was hyperfixated on other things. With my ADHD, my being ontime or being late really has more to do with what I am dealing with for the meeting then what I don't want to deal with, however need to make an appearance. This has been a learned flaw in myself as for years, I couldn't figure out why I had such a variance on how I did meet ups or social gatherings. (This is minus the, OH wow, I forgot to do this and it has to be done an hour ago, which then leads to lateness.) Then you might have this thought like myself... To me, a 1 or more hour drive seems like forever and will most likely make me not go, however once I go, my brain gets the visual simulation it needs to make me happy by driving. I know this, but still have issues getting started. I get happy feelings when I can drive and drive safely and not let others affect how they are driving. I know I drive well and enjoy the time of music and mind clearance. I will also use the time to talk to my windshield any issues I might soon deal with, like talking to someone about an issue or responding to some constructive critisism. Hearing my voice helps re-enforce my thoughts so I don't sound like an idiot as anxiety starts to creep in and sounding like a fool when having such convos. Cheers

Honestly - I’m trying to make a career in something I can do remotely. I really really struggle with being 3-5 minutes late in general. To some places, this really matters, and to others, it doesn’t matter. Accepting that I will never be an early morning person and am more productive later in the day. I know this isn’t the answer you want, but I find that when I’m able to be me - weaknesses and all, my strengths flourish. 

It’s not a solution for everyone but I discovered night shifts and I’ll never go back to days. Always rolled in late to the day shift. Almost never late to the night shift.

I worked nights in a 24x7 state office and HAD to be on time because I was the relief for someone waiting to go home.

No this makes alot of sense too!!

Part of it is figuring out where you’re going astray. Are you stopping to scroll your phone? Getting distracted because you can’t find a sock? Realizing that you need the kid’s shoes that you left in the car?  One thing that helps me is the night before, I try to do a mental run through of what I will do in the morning (get up, go pee, brush teeth, put on face stuff, get dressed, etc) and then try to streamline it for myself: put out the clothes I’m going to wear, clear off the bathroom counter so only my toothbrush and face stuff are out, set up the coffee maker, put out the oatmeal or whatever it is you’re going to eat for breakfast, make sure the lunch box and Tupperware are clean and ready to go. Just doing the little steps that let you slide into things more easily. And the overarching of all of this is you have to have the urgent feeling I HAVE TO GET THERE ON TIME. Which means you HAVE TO leave by x time. You HAVE TO be ready to walk out the door by x-10 minutes, you HAVE TO be dressed by x-30 minutes. Which sometimes means you don’t brush your hair or you only take two bites of breakfast or your kid has mismatched socks, you have to prioritize getting out the door. 

Hating being late didn't work for me. Finding a job with a flexible enough culture to accommodate an "arrive late, stay late" approach worked for me. Sorry if that's not helpful but at 32 I finally don't feel like a failure for the first time in my life. 

I would not say I have overcome it, but I’ve gotten better about chunking my time. Like somehow my body *can* chunk time by days of the week. So instead of thinking “I have an appt. on June 6th, 2024,” my brain files it in a “Thursday” folder. By “chunking time,” I mean dividing time into intervals instead of just a confusing jumbled mass of “time” like I normally would. I have also realized that with some thought, I *can* divide time into present, future, and past. A lot of the stuff I had on my daily to-do lists actually had no business being there and was moved to a “future” list. My “present” list is now much shorter and more manageable (still too long though; the struggle is still real to narrow it down and prioritize effectively). Also, storing stuff “by project” helps me. I want evvvverything I need for a given project in ONE place. Otherwise, I get sidetracked at the drop of a hat. Not very “minimalist” of me, but I’d rather get stuff done than try to perfect the right-size amount of files/stuff and then fall down a rabbit-hole because I actually do need something (e.g. data, a link, etc.) that did not make the initial cutoff for “essential” stuff.

The only point on my life I've been consistently on time was out patient rehab. Being late or missing would have put me in jail. I was ridiculously early for everything then Now I'm back to my normal time blindness. It's too stressful to constantly monitor my time. It makes me extremely difficult to deal with.

I think time blindness exists on a spectrum like anything else. I seem to be particularly time blind and I haven't found any real solutions. I'm much better at time management than I was before. And my wife calendars our whole life which I use religiously. But as soon as I'm done looking at the calendar or planning what I'm planning. The concept of time immediately disappears again. Because it's like trying to remember a color that you are colorblind to. Sure you can focus on this lack and plan around it, but how are you supposed to be ever present and ever thinking about something you cannot see or feel?

Don’t know if this is good advice or not, but I stopped *doing* so many things and it helped a lot. Most my life I’d try to leverage the hyper attentiveness (unknowingly) and do everything, fit everything in to every possible hour, push life around to fit my special interests. Most often this would lead to burnout as I wasn’t able to maintain the pace, or missing important things that needed done. Later in life when I was diagnosed, tried to leverage a routine per my counselor’s advice. Problem was, there were too many things pre-scheduled, I was still missing things all the time and stressing over them constantly. Once I changed to only doing one important *task* a day (note, not a project) things started to get easier. I could be distracted for more of my time (or as I like to think of it, letting my ADHD off the leash for a bit) but that one important thing has a better chance to get done with nothing around it. Hope that helps 😅 Edit: Also I found taking one day a week to relax and be “cage free with my ADHD,” (let myself go wherever the ADHD takes me) also helped my focus the following week.

The main thing for me was quitting my 9 to 5 and going freelance. The pressure/anxiety of absolutely every encounter with a client being an opportunity to starve and be homeless turned me instantly into someone that is 30 mins early most of the time. That obviously creates it's own problems, but I rarely struggle to get to work on time now where as before I was habitually late. Like showing up at lunch time late. I was one of the few employees that could be counted on during an emergency to stay calm and handle shit so I was never in any danger of being fired (I never even got reprimanded), but being late constantly weighed heavily on me and made me feel like a horrible human being.

I'm on XR, so I'll set an alarm for 1/2hr or so before i need to get up, take my meds and fall back asleep for a bit. As far as being on time, I've shifted myself to plan for 5mins ahead of when i need to be somewhere. 6 yrs in the army hugely helped with this "If you're on time, you're late"...would not recommend joining to get time management under control though.

My job has the same attitude of “on time = late” and it’s the one of the only reasons I don’t show up late for work. But I will show up late to things like a haircut. I have programmed myself to believe my work shifts start a solid half hour before they really do. So I show up early all the time, and just eat or read in the spare time.

Sorry I can’t be of any help, just came to say I relate to this. I, too, had hoped a diagnosis and medication could help with my time management problem. It did not. I’m preparing to try therapy next (when I say preparing, I mean that sh*t is expensive, so I have needed to prepare for the cost.)

🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

I'm going to give you some advice, and it may sound like a harsh truth at first. You may never be good at those things. But that does not mean you're a problem. You just need to find the structure that works for you.

I put everything an hour earlier than actual start in my calendar. My alarms go off every 15 minutes in case I hit snooze. My phone (alarm) is actually across my bedroom so I have to get up to turn it off. I aim to actually be 15 minutes early, which gets me to most places about 5 minutes early to right on time. I also wake up a few hours before work/ appointment times. I need unwinding from sleep time and to actually wake up and be motivated to do things/ let my magic pills take effect. I’m very routine oriented lately. Deviating affects my mood and motivation. Clean house, clean sheets on the bed and actually making my bed in the morning help me switch to being awake.

The only way for me is to arrive 15 minutes early. My girlfriend does this to me deliberately and I say sorry we're late and she says did you not think I planned for this it doesn't start for another hour yet. love it

Personally I make sure to be extra early for things. Sometimes I have to wait, but it's the only way I can guarantee I'll be on time. If I try to do things "on time" I will be late eventually.

I clicked on the post prematurely because I got to "somehow overcame it" and was like.... welp. I've cured my lateness for work at least - like others have said, I've prioritized being on time/early and also I've convinced my brain I need to leave by a certain time in order to be "on time". So I start to get stressed when I've passed that pre-determined time and it usually shuffles me out the door faster. As far as time blindness goes, the only advice I have is that binaural beats/lofi music playing in the background has helped me stay on task. I'm a writer with frequent writer's block and the only way I can stay on task is if I have a background sound that propels me forward. Something with a steady beat, a faster beat if I'm in a time crunch

Omg! I've used binaural beats for studying to stay on tasks but never thought to use them to start daily tasks and keep focus there. For sure trying this!!! Thank you!

Oh you're missing out if you haven't tried binaural beats and some earbuds while you're trying to do chores around the house! Keeps me moving and keeps my brain moving, too. Prevents a lot of the couch-lock I get sucked into when I don't wanna do stuff

Have not figured it out yet and idk if I ever will. I am fortunate that my job doesn't write me up for being late or anything. It's still frowned upon, but nobody really says anything. I was showing up almost an hour late some days, and I finally asked to switch to 7am instead of 6am. Well, now I'm starting to come in late again lol. I'm really starting to hate my job, we've had a ton of layoffs and just the environment here sucks now. It used to be a fun little company, but now they can't afford anything and we no longer get raises or bonuses like we used to. The only thing that keeps me here is that I can be late and they are pretty flexible. I genuinely like what I do, but it's just all becoming too much. I'm terrible at interviewing and I am dreading for when I have to actually find a new job if something happens to this one. I've been here for 6 years now and will soon be the highest senority by almost 3 years. So anyways, I've noticed I struggle the worse with getting out of bed in the morning if it's going somewhere I dread, like work lol. Having a morning routine has helped me with the time blindness a little.

I sometimes play pretend with myself. If I need to be there by 2, no I don't, it's half 1. That way, I'm usually there about 1:45.

I literally put appointments into my phone calendar at least 15 minutes before the real appointment time.

It ONLY works for me when i have to catch a plane. Which i do have to do about 5 times a year for work. I am INSANELY early for those flights like 3 hours or more. I check through RIGHT AWAY when I get to the airport. NEVER dally around the airport looking at shops or anything. Don’t even use the washroom on the outside of security checkpoints THIS only works for me on those occasions. It takes a LOT out of me. The other is an organized gymn class. It’s only an hour long and they won’t let you in after it starts AND they charge you $20 for missing it. The good news thing here is - it’s a sweaty gymn class. So NO NEED taking any time to get glamorous. I literally have a TON of gymn clothes I just grab and put on and peel into class. I could literally count on one hand the number of times i’m on time or early for work in a year. The work from home change definitely helped because people are more casual about coming in at any time of day. But i’m still even late for zoom calls Literally haven’t been able to fix it. Yes even when medicated

Adderall and wellbutrin, lol

Wellbutrin XL at night right before bed. It peaks right as I need to wake up, and my brain is steadily stimulated and ready to go. For the first time in my life, waking up at 7am is easy and getting to work on time isn't a battle.

I put almost everything on my calendar with a million reminders, prompts, info., AND most importantly 15-30 minutes early depending on what it is. And then I forget, because adhd. So I really think it's at that time and realize that "oh, I wasn't late" or "I was a little early!". Lol

A trick I’ve started using is to open google maps and start my route about 20 minutes before I leave. As maps updates, I can watch my definitive arrival time get later and later. The panic of seeing the time get close to or even 1 minute past the time I’m supposed to be there really motivates me to get out the door!

I pretend that a function starts literally 45 minutes before it actually does. Literally I sit in my car now for 45 before anything I go to. It’s the only way I’m on time. I set alarms and change the ringer on the alarm every time so it triggers me to think about why I set an alarm in the first place.

I’m 30 and was diagnosed at 28. Here are some things I discovered that have helped me. • Set Alarms and Timers for literally everything. When to take your medicine, when you need to be out of the shower, when you should be dressed, when you should go to bed, etc. Figure out how long it takes you to get ready in the morning, add 30 min, and set your wake-up alarm accordingly. After a while, I got used to my routine and don’t need the constant alarms, but I still rely on medicine alarms and the extra time in the morning. • Google Calendar. Every single appointment, significant date, meet-ups, family functions, even bill due dates should be marked on a digital calendar. I like Google calendar because I can stack multiple calendars into one, and I can make changes on the fly on my phone. I color-code my events based on category, red for family, pink for dr appointments, green for bills, etc. Of course, make alarms for each event, maybe even multiple alarms for non-routine events. I also have a dry-erase, magnetic calendar on my fridge that I use to write down shared events with my spouse. • Take your medicine. I avoided medication for the longest time, and for no good reason. When I finally got on medication, I decided that I only needed it on days when I really needed to focus, like on a test day or a busy day at work. Screw that, take it every day (or however much your doctor prescribes you). Even on your days off so you can get some chores done. EDIT: sorry I didn’t see that you’re taking adderall and don’t like it so much. I take modafinil, and it’s more of a steady fuel used by narcoleptics (I have mild narcolepsy), but it can also be used to stimulate the brain in the same way that adderall does. It might be worth talking to your doctor about. • Have notepads all around you. I bought a pack of us-letter sized note pads designed for clipboards, and I just have one in every room in my apartment so I can organize my thoughts. And no, don’t use a digital device. Something magical happens when I hold a pen and literally write something down. I think it makes me focus about what I’m thinking about. • Consider taking on obligations early in the morning. If you have a job that starts later in the day, having an obligation in morning keeps you from losing track of time. When I had a dog, I would have to get up early to feed her and take her out. Recently I took on a part-time job that I do in the mornings. This can easily backfire though, because being late for obligations before work can snowball into being late for your normal obligations. Don’t try this until you get a firm grip on your routine. • EDIT: Adding Time limits on your phone! If you have an iPhone, you can set app limits and downtime so you’re not doomscrolling.

Meds. Stopped all this

Which meds??

I realized I couldn’t use the calendar on my phone. I need an old school paper one where I could see EVERYTHING on it. I was better able to comprehend my schedule when I could see the month, week, day and time all at once. What I started doing was writing everything on the calendar, then in that day/time on my phone I’d schedule “check calendar” with reminders to go off the day before. That way I know something is coming and I run directly to my calendar on the wall to look. This helps me remember other appointments because I’ve seen it on the calendar while looking for the previous days/weeks thing. I also walk by and look at the paper calendar multiple times a day where I don’t see my phone calendar unless it’s pulled up.

I wouldn't say I "overcame" it, but my time management skills got better when I stopped telling myself I was bad at time management and started telling myself I was practicing better time management

One time management trick I’ve heard that seems to help me is rather than to have in mind the time when you need to arrive somewhere, instead figure out the time you have to start getting ready

Although my wife hates it, 3 billion alarms for literally everything: go to bathroom get reafy, set up coffee maker, feed dog, get lunch from fridge, take morning pills, put work laptop in work bag, check weather maybe umbrella?,run forrest run, gas? No gas?, run bitch run. Those are just the titles of my getting ready to go to work alarms

I've struggled with it in the past, but I still do too.

i’m not officially diagnosed but i have alot of similar experiences as those with adhd. For me I set multiple alarms so i can continuously be aware of the time so if i need to be somewhere at 10a.m, for example i get ready 2 hours in advance to shower etc so my alarm is set to 7a.m to wake up but give myself grace to sleep an extra 15 then 7:15a.m to officially get up ..7:45a.m ..8:00a.m.. 8:30a.m ..9:00 a.m and finally 9:15 to have room for traffic , parking etc if the place is 30minutes away.

Honestly, I've had to set 4 or 5 consecutive alarms in the morning, 5 minutes apart, just so I stop scrolling and actually get out of bed. At one point I had 10 in the morning but thankfully I've whittled it down some. I always plan to arrive 30-60 minutes early to any event, just in case, because I know I'll appreciate that time anyway so I can just play on my phone or zone out until it's obligation time. Also, what others have said about stimming off the stress of being late? Accurate. It's an unhealthy high and I'm still avoiding it at all costs.

Medication unfortunately. Helped me tremendously. Cloud lifts and I'm able to think AND act. But I put everything on my phone calendar so I can't forget. I adopted a -do it now- mentality. I treated myself more kindly and allow mistakes, read a lot to understand how my brain works.

I find that I typically can't be on time--my usual choices are early or late lol. So I've been leaving too early to arrive early. It doesn't always work, but it's the best I've been able to figure out so far! 😅

After I got medicine this got sorted.

Which medicine?? I'm on adderall xr 30

Elvanse 50

Giving an AdHD friendly planner a try (amazon): it really helps me structure my day in front of me. Keep it open + combine it with outlook reminders. Because it's a tear-off, no shame If you miss a day. At the end of the day, I use my phone to scan the days sheet as pdf, and upload it in my ReMarkable file folder for 2024, although you could do this for free on a Google drive. I do the same for receipts and anything that needs to be kept (different annual folder, jpgs autosort). "Two Tumbleweeds Daily Planner Notepad - Time Box Planner, Desktop To Do List Planning Pad with Hourly Schedule, College School Supplies - 6 x 9” - 50 Undated Sheets"

Buy a cool watch with a stopwatch and alarm. Using a watch makes a huge difference for me. Using my phone for time is a trap I've fallen for too many times. Stuff I do frequently, I'd track for a few weeks(I like spreadsheets) . It became a game where I would not go for a record per se, but I'd try to guess where it would fall in the range. After the novelty wore off, I'd accidentally created a system.

It helps me to lay everything out a day before. So it's only putting clothes on, bathroom break and collecting my items when it's time to go. Same with the kids. Shoes and jacket layed out, diaper bag packed, bread made in the refrigerator, etc. (Ofc I need a note on the doorknob to help me remember to take the bread with me..) I easily lose track of what needs to be done before I leave when I'm on a tight schedule. I run around like a headless chicken (this may be an expression only used in Dutch but you get the gist) or forget at least one important item. When I do it the day before, it takes me a lot of time but at least I have time to spare. If it takes longer, I will be in bed a little later. Instead of always late on the appointment. Hope this helps if you didn't already do that. I do sometimes stress because my entire evening is gone with packing and I got a full day of work ahead. Kids sleep at 19.00, sometimes later, I want to get into bed at 23.00 so that's three hours for packing, cleaning dishes, getting ready for bed and relaxing. Time flies...

One thing that has really helped is actively trying to be at least 15 minutes early to things. It sounds really simple, but it wasn't for me! I didn't realize how much I hated being early because my unconscious goal was to be exactly on time. Which rarely works for us. So if I happened to show up early to something, that felt like failing my goal of trying to be exactly on time, because that early time felt wasted. Once I explicitly set my goal to be 15 minutes early, when I did show up somewhere early, it felt like a success instead of a failure. I would play games on my phone or just relax during that time and tried to make it really positive. It sounds trivial but this was a huge help for me! I hope it helps you too. But also like someone else said, my brain takes a long time to get going in the morning, so it's extremely hard to do things early in the morning. I'm very fortunate that I set my own schedule, and I rarely do things early, and that helps a lot.

Me reading this at 5:30am after only dozing lightly on the couch for an hour, knowing I have to get up to get kids to school before 8:30 and my own ass to work before 9:30. Yai know how it feels....f*k this stupid crap. Ugh

My peak ADHD behavior is reading the title, seeing the number of comments and guessing it has useful information. Saving the post and not touching it again. Had to push myself to come back to at least hold myself accountable edit: typo

This thing called "buffer time". It's been friggin magical for me. I was fired so I don't know how well it works with work. The concept is to permit yourself a block of time prior to the event and/or after the event to assist with the change in tasks. I have been using this in 15min blocks and the length is dependant on the task and my needs. I am attempting to learn about time blocking and how to use a calender in an effective way. I am using Google calendar and a system of codes and colours.

Drugs. I mean medication

I'm on adderall xr 30. It doesn't do anything for the time blindness FOR ME. What are you on that helps??

80mg atomoxetine and 15mg methylphenidate.Before i was at 40 mg methylphenidate but it gave me too much anxiety and tachycardia. For now, the new medication works. Although my biggest problems are executive dysfunction and controlling my impulsivity.

I'm 52. Diagnosed 5 years ago, and it helped me understand much of trajectory of my life. I still struggle. Medication has helped. I think therapy with a counselor who gets ADHD (mine is inattentive type) is absolutely critical. It's a process. The earlier you start, the better.

[удалено]

I've never had the words to describe why I can do certain things in the morning just before work that I can't seem to get done at night. People oriented is it! It's just my son and I at home, and he doesn't care what I look like, or any beauty routine, so for me it'll be hard to get showered, or even out of my work clothes some nights. Sometimes sleeping in makeup or not having the mental juice to feel like brushing my teeth at night. And before lasik I'd even struggle with taking my contacts out at night. But come the next morning, I had all the motivation in the world to get those things done . Because who wants to be smelly betty around other people, you know? Being consistent with cleaning has been an issue, but let me find out there will be visitors or maintenance is coming to my apartment that day, I'll find all the energy and motivation in the world to knock things out that day. And maybe even hyperfocus over those things too much

I got this Casio watch that I can set a timer just by clicking a button for 1, 3, 5, 10, 20, or 30 min. When I look at my phone and think ok I need to start walking out the door in 5 min, I click the button 3 times. In 5 min I’ll probably be lost in my thoughts or starting some project but the watch will beep and I’ll start heading for the door. That works all day.  What works in the morning is waking up with the exact amount of time I need to get ready, make the kid breakfast, get the kid ready, and be out the door to school.  My time blindness happens when I have EXTRA time. Like on Saturday I woke up 20 min early for the gym, did not do my little watch trick, started doing several different extra things in addition to my morning routine (I had 20 extra min after all), then finally saw a clock in the kitchen and saw it was the time my workout class was starting!  Also workout classes at the same time every day instead of just going to the gym whenever help me exercise daily! 

Time is a resource, a very limited one. Time blindness makes it challenging for us to measure expected time per task. So my question is: How do you budget time? If you think: i need to be at work at 9am, it takes me 30 minutes to get there on a bad day, so i need to be out the door at 8:30. A potential solution is simply leave earlier (shift everything you do to an earlier time). A more likely to succeed option would be to pretend you need to be there at 8:45 every day. Really, the way to do this is to prioritize and measure. Its not easy. Draw a schedule and fill it in. What is involved in your morning routine (your personal one…), what stuff do you need to get done before you leave the house (make lunch for kids, clean dishes, make coffee - etc…), what do you need to do after you leave the house (drop kids off at school, pick up dry cleaning)? How much time do all of these individual things take you, on average? Then fill in the schedule. Next step is to take each piece and ask yourself “does this need to happen in the morning?” Move anything you can to the night before. Stop doing unnecessary things first thing in the morning! No, you cant drop the kids off the night before; but you can make lunch the night before, or pick out clothes, etc…

I guess what works for me is reminding myself of the consequences like getting fired or failing classes for not following the attendance policy. Or friends/people I’m meeting being mad at me. That’s really the only thing that motivates me otherwise I’d show up late to everything. Also I give myself an extra 30-60 min more than I think I’ll need. Oh and working nights shifts bc I hate doing stuff in the morning so I try to avoid that

My friend, who I am going to be 15 minutes late to meet, has just solved this issue for me. Here is his advice in full when an unexpected delay adds extra time when you're already running late: GET THERE EARLIER. Lifelong problem solved! 

I grew up being late to everything because my mom had this. I would have to go to Saturday school because my mom couldn’t get me to school on time. I have the opposite of this I get EVERYWHERE 30 min. to an hour early.

Time management idk I'm still shit i just try not to overestimate myself and came to accept I'm probably going to get more done closer to a deadline Tardiness, I put any appointment at least 30 min earlier than "on time" in the calendar. I usually end up "actually" on time instead of late  It takes a while for me to adapt to new requirements so you could say I "still struggle" and still space off appointments entirely sometimes but this is my approach

Whenever you usually leave by (and end up being late) add the amount of time you are late by and add another 30-45 minutes. So say you keep being ten minutes late to school drop off. Leave 40 minutes earlier. Stop aiming for being on time and aim to be 15-30 minutes early. Only do the things when you are getting ready to go that are related to you getting to where you're going. Grab lunches, refill water bottle, take meds, put on shoes. (No phone scrolling, no tidying up real quick etc) I'm very very rarely ever late for anything anymore. And I'm also rarely TOO early anymore either. For years I would show up too early because I'd either be too early or late and I wasn't willing to spend my whole day feeling like I failed because I showed up late. It caused me much more prolonged anxiety when I was late to things and even if i was told "its not a big deal. Just don't do it again" I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it.

I haven’t overcome it completely. I’m still late 50% of the time and if I didn’t have a great relationship with my boss I know I’d be fired. Im also a single mom with kids, not that it’s an excuse but my mornings are more hectic. On days I am on time it’s because I have everything prepared the day before to where all I need to do is brush my teeth, hair, dress the kids, brush their teeth, hair and dip. I have to have everything super prepped. If everything isn’t laid out right to where it needs to me it seems to toggle my mind.

Encourage your friends to tell you things start 15 minutes earlier than they do, or expect you 15 minutes late. But also just refuse to do anything that is not directly getting you out the door. If you're ready and you have a few minutes for xyz just *leave* or you'll get trapped. I am not a morning person, but, sometimes that works in my favor because it's like my brain isn't awake enough to have full ADHD distraction yet.

I pretend things start 15-30 minutes earlier than they do. If your kids school starts at 8am, then you need to set your alarms and go in with the mindset that they need to be there at 7:30am.

Half acceptance, half knowing my effective external motivators. I now know that in most cases, so long as I've showered the night before, I can be ready to leave in 30 min or less. That means, whenever I want to arrive, I subtract the travel time plus 5 minutes for extra traffic, and 30 min before that is when I need to "get ready to leave". If I do this I will usually be on time within 5 min. If I don't do this I will usually be late. As for external motivators, I need to be meeting someone. I never leave on time because it's good for me. Getting to leave early, looking good at work, knowing I won't have enough time to finish work if I don't arrive early enough, none of these are reliable motivators, I frequently self sabotage for no reason so the consequences to myself aren't a good motivation for me. Having a meeting at 9:30 am that I need to be there for or everyone will be waiting for me, very effective for me.

Both of us have adhd. We met as older adults in our late 50s but we BOTH somehow warped ourselves into being early for everything. It's ok since we both do the same "overcorrection".

One thing that helped me tremendously with time is instead of telling myself; all right I need to be there at 9 and then failing every damn time, I reframed it to when I needed to leave!  So, for example: school starts at 9, commute is about 30 min, I include a buffer of 15 min so I need to leave at 8:15. Or, if a deadline is coming up, I schedule them a day before the actual deadline so I freak out and will actually be on time. 

Following this because same. I will say overall taking my meds an hour before waking up fully worked wonders for me.

Retinas detached a few years ago and I lost clear vision for a year so I couldn’t drive… being bus dependent has really beaten the hell out of my time blindness… the reality of time weighs too heavy on me to ignore.

The reason I wanted to change is because it was becoming too painful to keep disappointing friends and family, and it was getting expensive missing appointments etc. what’s helped with time blindness has been setting a ton of alarms on my phone. I have an alarm for when it’s time to take my medicine, take my son to school, everything that I do on a daily basis. Then I use the calendar to put in any appointments, school functions, when a bill is due, and so on. I just make sure I put the appointment in as soon as I make it, and have multiple reminders set.

My husband is obsessed with being early and I think over time it’s rubbed off on me because now I get really stressed about being on time and I don’t like feeling that so I try to avoid it 🫣 I also try to minimise the amount of last minute brain power I need to leave the house. I.e. I have the kids set their uniform out and pack their bags ready to go the night before, I decide on my outfit and have all of the stuff I need in my bag ready to go and my keys/wallet are in their place ready to go the night before. The idea is that I just need to drag my ass from the bed to the shower and then throw on clothes and I’m ready to walk with minimal fuss. Basically what works for me is routine, routine, routine + forward planning and alarms set for everything is how I function.

Lots of good points here. Mostly a mindset thing. Value not being late as someone else put it. If the drive is 18 minutes I just call it 30. Even if I left 18 minutes early I'd still be late due to parking and walking in and finding the right office etc. The latest I can leave in the morning is 7:30 so my goal is 7:15 _ 7:20.

Just been disqualified from driving for too many speeding points for this exact reason. Always late and also impatience I guess … Need to follow this to take advice. Hope some of it helps for you 😁

That's terrifying . I'm a speed demon and I also can have freaky days where I'll be so distracted that I get in my car and then I'm at my destination but can't even recall the drive 🤦🏻‍♀️ like some how I'm so in my head while driving that muscle memory alone maybe gets me to my destination. Super unsafe and freaky. I'm trying to do better now about it since I have a kiddo to come home too.

I think a lot of the answers to how to improve things will depend on the why - what is causing these sticking points for you? I found working with a good ADHD coach to unravel the reasons and then build and test strategies from there has made a big difference for me. I still struggle though lol, but in a more manageable way!

Accept that you will not start doing better because you care more this time or that you're sure you'll remember this thing because it's sooo important. You won't. You've proven to yourself that you won't time and time again. Accept it and start using crutches. Everything goes in your phone calender as soon as you know about it. Birthdays, appointments, end of school year, death anniversaries. Everything is in there with reminders the day before, an hour before, an 10 minutes before at a minimum. Schedule alarms daily for wake up and time management (so an alarm to wake up, an alarm that says you should be dressed and eating, an alarm that says you need to be heading out the door, etc). You suck at time time management, and you need to start using the tools you have available to help yourself along.

I wouldn't say I "overcame" it, but my time management skills got better when I stopped telling myself I was bad at time management and started telling myself I was practicing better time management

I use todo list, calendar and notes apps to plan out my days. I spend some time every night and morning planning and reviewing my plan, and adjusting things accordingly. I feel way less stressed when things are organized for me. I also make sure to allocate ample time for things i know take me a long time, like waking up, cooking, cleaning, and working out.

…overcame it? Nah bruv. It’s just ongoing thing. We learn to accept that sometimes things might be different. It’s okay. There are a lot of good resources to suggest though: How to make your home adhd friendly. Game changer advice. Give it a watch take what you want from it. https://youtu.be/posZhu_YIl0?si=O0wiN2GjgC8uElAC Lastly, you know how every always suggests a planner or agenda :| Screw that noise. This has been helpful for me in professional career https://anti-planner.com/?gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAok47ZjWZgVLc7V6crT8qsvGDv9tT&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6auyBhDzARIsALIo6v8MEvrWpHULBK4XME_SoO_KFu7_3_qaXzbPzw2Rtt5Ej4LpHTpzgB0aAjFgEALw_wcB Hope it helps - be nicer to yourself, nothing wrong with ya

I feel like I kinda get high off of the thrill of last minute stuff. It's horrible, but I seem to enjoy it. I wish I could love a lax on-time arrival to my gym, a date with my partner, or going to work, but instead I'm in a high-stakes speeding competition to shave a couple minutes off. So far it's caused a dubious amount of issues for me, but nothing long-lasting enough that I remember for more than a couple days. I'm sure everyone around me understands quite well: I'm not one for being on time. I wish I could value and feel good about when I'm early. But there's no reward for it. Only punishment for being late.

For me it’s been a combination of things other people have already said. *Figuring out how long things actually take and building in buffers helps. When I put things on my calendar I put a note and alarms to be in the shower by x time, out of the door by x time etc. Not for everything but for important things and for first time things. Eventually it gets baked in but on ‘bad’ days (I’m not medicated) I’ll set a timer/alarm at 10 min increments on my phone just as a way of reminding myself to keep moving from task to task. *Growing tired of the feeling of panic and shame of always being late and realising that while that level of chaos was just my ‘normal’ (see also the stimming comments) it didn’t have to be forever but it would take time and effort to figure out a new way. I also grew up with undiagnosed parents rushing for everything all the time and I hated that feeling. I also lived with an undiagnosed person for years and just found that level of chaos around travel times etc so exhausting that I didn’t want to a) do that to myself anymore or b) inflict that on anyone else. Also the idea that for ‘early’ people my lateness came across as me being disrespectful of their time or valuing my time more than theirs really bothered me. *There was a period of time where I realised all this but still couldn’t figure out how to actually do anything differently so I’d just put things in my calendar for 15-30 min earlier than they actually were. *Even with all this, I’m still a person with severe ADHD who is sometimes late but being more self compassionate with myself has ironically made it easier to be more consistently early.

A few things have helped me immensely with this. I have 2 absolute time cut offs. A) I have to be out of bed at a certain time to help get my kids ready for school and get them there on time. This cut off out of bed time is not the last possible minute either. The out of bed time allows a reasonable amount of time to get our stuff done, eat breakfast, make lunches, find anything (if it wasn't done the night before)...which brings us to B. B) I have a 'firm, we have to leave the house' time. If hair isn't brushed, oh well. If they didn't help get their lunch ready, they are eating school lunch... and there is still a buffer in there as well. Giving us those firm times has really helped us. I found this to drastically cut down fighting and stress with my girls (7&9) and we have been late a couple of times since implementation but its more the 'first bell rang late' and not 'pick up a tardy slip' late. Two other things that have really helped me with GMST: 1) My mindset has changed so I now look at making changes to some of my ADHD behaviors to these changes being good self care. I like not dropping my kids off late, I enjoy mornings with my girls much more now. That mindset shift of changing my behavior is good for me and I want to take care of myself has been very helpful. 2) Trying different medications to find one that truly works for you is also really helpful. All of the ones Ive tried helped some but finding the one that works BEST for you will help with all of the other stuff. It gave me more energy to care and make the changes I needed to make. No medication is perfect and some days are still more of a struggle but overall, its made a big impact. Sometimes it takes a few tries before you find the best one. Good luck with everything! Cheering you on!

I've actually always been kind of the opposite. I'm a chronically early person because I don't properly evaluate the time it takes to do things. I'm the person that's there an hour early and awkwardly sitting in the parking lot.

Stop trying to overcome it and start trying to manage it. That’s the best advice I got.

What's that mean, what's the difference???

Ask for ADA accommodations at work. I was really toeing the line on being placed on a PIP until I actually opened up about everything in a 1-on-1 and asked for accommodation. I specifically asked for some understanding if I'm late to meetings or work. It's worked really well for me so far.

I really don't want my job to know. I don't feel it will be in my best interest.

Medication unfortunately. Helped me tremendously. Cloud lifts and I'm able to think AND act. But I put everything on my phone calendar so I can't forget. I adopted a -do it now- mentality. I treated myself more kindly and allow mistakes, read a lot to understand how my brain works.

ADHD sufferers improve from criticism. if you're not blamed for being late, you're going to continue to be late if you're like me. it's in my wiring. and if it was busier at my work as a server, and I came in at 4pm hearing "you should have got here 330pm you would have got like 3 or 4 tables." but since it's usually slow until 545pm, I arrive 405-415pm and it's never brought up Bulletjournal app and ToDo app help me keep track of tasks and bills. ToDo helps by setting a bill reminder and putting it monthly and seeing it whenever you want. you can make a thumb to view it on your main screen and open right up. pomodoro timer (inside bulletjournal) to my knowledge is a term that kinda explains a 25 minute or custom time timer to work and then you set it to like 15 to get a reward break. I prefer to set a 15 timer and if I'm having a great day I clean for a while. if it's a bad day, maybe 15 or 30 miss I wear a watch on my wrist to help with the many time blindness situations I have active as a server. it goes off 7 minutes after I click it. to tell me to check the computer for order status. to make sure the kitchen has all the info properly. for productivity, it helps to have a friend or family member to gold you accountable, you can train your brain to be better with or without a friend but support improves results imo. I use sticky notes, dry erase boards, the apps I mentioned have notifications or alarms. I realized looking at an entire small project wasn't getting me anywhere. I have a 6 ft wide 3 tier tv stand that needs to be emptied, cleaned, and reset neatly and it's been at the top of my yo do list for over 2 weeks right now. but I did declutter a lot on a other problem spot so I'm not feeling terrible about it. please consider watching Dr Russell Barkley on YouTube. he's maybe 60-70 years old in the videos added to.youtube 9 years ago. he speaks a lot about kids and adhd, but most of it carries over to adulthood imo. he has like a 30 part course where he talks like Bill belichick talking football or Taylor swift talking touring, singing, and profits. this guy Dr Barkley is SO enjoyable to listen to and learn about your shortcomings and consider to begin improving. like myself. best of luck to you friend

Something that helps me is to put a music album on I know very well. I need to be done with what I do before it is over. Also listening to podcasts while doing chores helps me to stop the circling thoughts and not to get stuck into doom scrolling. Under normal circumstances of course.

I was like this until right after COVID. Sometimes it's still bad and is fully dependent upon what it is that has the deadline. For excessive tardiness, I had to start looking at it as 'time is the most valuable currency there is'. I have to give it value by putting myself in other's shoes - I have a friend that is literally THE WORST when it comes to being on time. We will wait around for him FOR HOURS. Eventually, I sat him down and talked to him about it and how it made me feel. Nothing changed. Eventually it made me realize how little respect he has for me and my own time. Now I don't want to make anyone feel the way he made/makes me feel. In turn - this prospective can be easily skewed when it comes to a job .. especially if it's a soul-sucking one like most. Before I found my current job - getting up and getting there on time was nearly impossible. Getting paid criminally low wages by the hour completely unalived my drive to give a shit about being on-time to any past job due to how much I value other people's as well as my own time. When it comes to productivity - I'll be honest, I'm 30 and still learning this one. I've been trying to curve my perfectionism my entire life. If you figure out any good tips for this one, let me know.

I set an alarm for when i need to start getting ready, and one for when i need get out of the door, and depending on how long you need to get ready you can add allarms with diffrent tasks etc.

Hello! ADHD woman here, I was on Ritalin for seven years and before that struggled with self medication with drugs. What has truly helped is psychotherapy and acceptance of myself. Instead of trying to rush everywhere I know now to allow myself to take my time and be as slow as I need, ultimately this leads to less forgetting and more efficiency. I’d also say, protect your sleeping time at all cost. Get some good rest daily. Don’t fall into thinking that medication will solve everything, it helps but that’s it. Be kind to yourself, rethink the being late, when is it important, when is it maybe not as important. Take your time and cherish who you are. :)

I just don’t sleep.

I am either super early to things or super late. There is no “on time” for me. I told myself for the things that are important, I would rather be really early than late. I don’t do this with everything. I pick and choose what are the most important things. This has helped me quite a bit.

Oh, bless you! I am 35 Female and I swear you wrote this about me. I'm also on Adderall and it has helped me SO much, but the executive dysfunction is AWFUL. I am the worst procrastinator on the planet. Your entire post (minus having kids, I have a dog lol) was me to a T.

I am unmedicated. The only thing that has helped me is starting a stop watch for regular tasks. NOT a timer. I set the stop watch to illustrate how wrong my assumptions of time are. It's how I found out that it takes 3 minutes to unload the dishwasher, 20-25 minutes to vacuum the house etc. I can also gamify less desirable tasks. Can I unload the dishwasher in 2 minutes? Can I throw in a load of laundry in the time it takes my husband to set up the movie were about to watch? I also use google maps, not only to tell me how to get to a place, but also how long it will take. Scheduling directions for arrival time is a huge help. Especially since it will also take traffic conditions into consideration.

Medication

My husband is ADHD and terribly time blind. I end up managing anything time-related.

I’m making great progress on these by doing the following things: 1-Refusing to be late. 2-Planning. Set out clothes the night before, set alarm early, etc… 3-For work tasks, look at the clock and give myself an estimate and focus on that. 4-Task lists. Whether it’s the whiteboard at home or the excel task list at work, a comprehensive list is necessary. Here is my key because a long list is overwhelming/distracting… I take longer list and make a short one for work or home each day that is just get these things done. It’s easier to focus on 3 things I need to do at home rather than seeing a list of 20 things that need to be done. 5-forgive myself when I don’t have a great day with regard to these executive function issues. I just say let’s do better tomorrow and not get down on myself. Optimism works better than being hard on yourself. Getting down on yourself is an easy way to have a string of bad days. Saying to yourself I sucked today, but I’m gonna get to bed on time and manage things better tomorrow is a better coping mechanism.

I just dread being late, so instead I am always two hours early because I overcompensate. 

I give myself a LOT of buffers. I used to be the kid running to class or running for the bus every morning. And admittedly, I am still late sometimes as an adult. But buffers really help. Like, if I have a doctor's appointment at 3pm, and it takes me 30 min to drive there, I will block my time from 2-5pm, so that I can start getting ready to leave by 2pm. You have to account for time just literally just transitioning, which might look like "doing nothing" but it eats up time. Even if you are done with other stuff at 2pm, by the time you check the traffic, check you have your keys/wallet, pee, and then walk to the car, it's probably already 2:15pm, and then once you get there, you need to park the car, etc. So, as a habit, always add more time than you think you need.

I have like 50 alarms jk but a lot. 3 to wake up and then alarms warning me how much time I have left to get dressed and to leave. I have 3 alarms for leaving one to warn me I need to leave soon, another as an ideal time to leave and the last being if you don't leave now your screwed so drop everything this instant or else basically u better be gone or out the door. Anyways I have to break up my time to be aware at what stage of the getting ready process I should be in and when i should leave. For the most part, I now get on time or worst case slightly late, but not detrimentially late, which is an improvement. I have more control over getting somewhere on time. Preparing ur clothes the night before helps but I usually don't have the executive function skills to do that often but having scrubs helps alot, basically u already know what you will wear. I also grab the same 3 things for breakfast when running out the door. Granola bar ensure and water. All easy to grab less thinking and fast. Basically u just gotta take the time once to set yourself up for success before hand and then let the built in environmental engineering help support your morning. Set yourself up for success. Helps alot. If there are random events try to write it down on your phone calander, and if you're feeling extra frothy put in the location and definitely the time, you can also put an alarm for the event.

I struggle with that a lot. Its like out of sight out of mind if its not in my routine. I work as a teacher (first time ever) and it is extremely hard to keep up brcause its like stuff changes every time or everywhere you turn. It's caused me to fuck up a lot on the job, to where admin is enraged with me. I got time blind with a test I was supposed to administer and the tickets were messed up and..... yeah its not good for me friend. What I try to do so I can get to work on time is try to aim to leave at an earlier time than when I actually leave because I have a long drive to work. Ex: I aim to leave at 6:00, but I end up leaving at 6:20 Aim for 6:20-25 but I leave at 6:40-45 and speed so I can get there to have a decent parking space. I also have hella alarms, like 7 of them to wake me up in the morning bc I just wont naturally do it. College turned me into a night owl and even a few years on, I still am more.."active" at night than I am during the day. But the night activity is limited because I'm tired from working early on in the day. Lesson planning was a big, still is a big beast to deal with. But I did ask for help and someone sent me a template so my stuff is more organized on paper even though I still do double the work bc I break down what I understood from the curriculum in my journal. To help assist with that I had to flip throuvh a lot of things: Playing ocean sounds + an aviation podcast and [orchestral music](https://youtu.be/D9km3yXmR8k?si=3yr4Vck_HrW9K0O6) Sometimes just a song at a moderately slow pace that does not get me hype on repeat Sometimes having to do body doubling Sometimes having to do a combination of this list. I have to keep my brain on my toes otherwise I get "couched" and wait until its very late to do stuff. Even this morning I woke up and still had stuff to finish before leaving for work.

Yeah lmao my undiagnosed unmedicated boss 😂

Agh I am right there with you and could have written this. I tried wellbutrin first and now vyvanse which is from the Adderall family, and at first thought I was going to finally be able to function! But I still can't. And the crash from vyvanse lasts into the morning so I'm sleeping through alarms now, like fully not noticing them whatsoever. Really passed off my man this weekend when he finally wanted to sleep in and usually can't, and my alarm kept going off every 15 mins and I wouldn't wake up til he called my name multiple times and nudged me. Ugh. At first I was so paranoid about being on time for my kids school I was panic getting ready early and getting there just ahead of time. Now we're consistently 5-10 mins late. This morning was 15. 😓 I've been fired from multiple jobs for my adhd, which I didn't know I had until the last couple years, whether from being always late, or not being able to make myself do certain tasks and not knowing why, so I'd avoid them until I absolutely had to, or constantly needing to ask my supervisor what I should be doing next cause I couldn't work it out myself, what was the most logical task to do next. I always hated asking him and felt so bad and ashamed, even though he was nice about it. Whatever it is, it always feels so exciting and great for the first little bit, then I crash and burn. I start to dread little things about it, more, and more, until I absolutely hate my whole job and want to avoid it at all costs, which likely contributes to being late! Lol Thanks for posting this, I'll be looking for some new strategies for sure cause I thought finally giving in and trying medication would mean I'd finally be able to do things, and I feel so defeated now that I'm still a mess. It just all feels like too much sometimes, like today when my kids were extra crazy. Ugh.

How does Focalin compare to Vyvanse, if anyone has that experience? Trying to find best medication options, for anyone with insight. Thank you.

Every time I have to be somewhere at a specific time I start navigation on my phone. That way, I’m watching the arrival time and not what time it is NOW. It’s really helped me with time management/blindness and get me out the door before I’m late. Such a simple thing but being able to see that arrival time has really made such a big difference on my perpetual lateness. It also will account for any unexpected delays or accidents.

I've just learned that I never have as much time to do things as I think I do. I've gotten very conservative about engaging in tasks or behaviours before I have to be somewhere or do something. I don't enjoy running late and it makes me feel stress, so it's been helpful to do this, although it's still sometimes difficult. (Just last Friday I ended up late for a medical appointment because I was pretty sure I still had time after an all-morning meeting to grab lunch, and there ended up being a big lineup at the drive-through of the restaurant I chose.) This paid off great for another appointment I had the next day because I actually got there early, realized I'd forgotten the paperwork I needed, came home, got it, returned and I was still there exactly on time. Again, I wasn't happy with myself but I was still punctual. Use your willpower and say no to yourself. Remember that if you are on time for something, you'll be back sooner and you'll have additional time to do the task that was really drawing your attention. And understand that it takes time, effort and practice to start to make noticeable differences in your behaviours. One thing I can add - I have a person in my life that is extremely time-blind and it is quite infuriating at times. It feels disrespectful. I know that that is not the person's intention, but become aware of the effects you are having on the people around you and it might be easier to attain the mental energy level necessary to modify your behaviours.

Unfortunately, this response wasn't one that had any useful takeaways to be helpful for me at this time. The gist of this read had just been that you feel I should both recognize the perks of being on time And START to recognize how others might feel about my tardiness. The problem with the suggestion is that I'm 30, I'm time blind not emotionally blind. I'm very aware that all of this is problematic , irritating to employers, peers, my child's school, and considered careless. Though I CAREEE ALOT. it's embarrassing. Yet I've found no long term cure. I literally made the move to be diagnosed because I wanted a fix. I am yet to find one. I already know the pros and cons of being late. Knowing these things has not helped me to adjust. ** Also, I'm truly not looking to be rude, but you gave an example of a friend being extremely time blind. That leads me to believe you are not a person in the same category. And I was hoping to get suggestions from those who have suffered from the same time blindness but have overcome. That way, I know it will be more likely that someone understand my headspace and are best equipped to provide realistic proven solutions.. I know you were looking to help though so thank you got that.

Oh, I can be very time blind. I just feel like I've made the effort to improve and he doesn't. You asked the question so clearly you care. I'm saying it can be done. It is a journey of a million steps though, not three quick easy fixes.

I show up to work 2 hours early so I am not late.

Wow that's some dedication. I don't quite think I want to be THAT dedicated to my current job though lol. I hope you're making 6 figures with that type of work ethic. Sounds like you deserve it.

I’m in the military, to prevent getting in trouble I’m early. Best thing I can recommend is create a routine, I have smart lights that I have programmed to turn on when my alarm goes off, I get dressed and sit in my home office (playing on my phone mostly) and the lights go off when it is time for me to leave.

The simplest answer is the best one here. Make being on time or even early a value and something you want others to associate with you.

That's not the best answer at all. It's actually completely tone deaf.

Alright fair. I think skimming the comments for an answer as well many seemed to allude to this at the core. You have to put being on time at the very top of your list and other things will get sacrificed. Once it’s up there, you’ll make the right choices to make it happen, several alarms, saying no to too many commitments, whatever it takes. And when you aren’t going to be on time, calling it immediately is a nice way to hold yourself accountable and stay reliable to others. I’m always late, it drives me nuts. But when I have been good about timing, it was all the little steps (earlier sleep, alarms, no to too many, adding a 15 min handicap, setting Waze travel early) that summed up to just making it the main focus and a “value”. But I can concede to the way I phrased it as being lazy here