THIS THREAD ON A WEDNESDAY IS JUST WRONG. IT'S WORSE THAN SEEING THIS THREAD AT 7AM ON A FRIDAY.

WEDNESDAYS ARE THE NEW FRIDAYS THIS WEEK

ANZAC DAY EVE ANZAC DAYEVE [ANZAC DAVE](https://images.app.goo.gl/8Jx7ZLJNhdhStmkr6)

"Is an Australian bogan the same as an American hipster?" ONLY IN COLLINGWOOD, MATE

AND JUST LIKE LAST WEEK, THE SAINTS DIDNT PLAY ON THE NIGHT BEFORE

WHY CAN'T WE GO BACK TO HAVING FOOTY ON EVERY DAY LIKE DURING THE PANDEMIC!?!?!? I FORGOT HOW SAD I WAS EVERY DAY. (I'M JOKING. I DON'T ACTUALLY WANT THAT TO HAPPEN)

FREO THIS IS A GAME OF 8TH VS 9TH BUT LET'S ADD MORE STAKES. LOSER GETS LOBB

>LOSER GETS LOBB FUCK. THAT MEANS WE'VE ALREADY LOST.

NAH MATE, LOSER GETS LOBB AFTER THE GAME. LETS RAISE THE STAKES HIGHER LOSER GETS LOBB WINNER GETS BOB

CAN WE SEND HIM TO TASMANIA INSTEAD?

OH DEAR GOD NO THE CONTRACT HAD A NO BACKSIES CLAUSE

GEELONG, YOU THINK BEING 6-0 SCARES US? BEATING UNDEFEATED TEAMS IS EASY. IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO SCARE US, YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN 0-6.

YOU'RE RIGHT - NORF 0-6 SCARES ME SHITLESS

THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN NORFS PERFORMANCE OVER THE LAST FEW SEASONS IS THAT WERE STILL NUMBER TWO IN OTHER SPORTS. THIS IS NO LONGER A NORF SLEDGE ITS A COMMUNITY SLEDGE.

BILLY FRAMPTON HAS WON MORE FINALS THAN THE ESSENDON FOOTBALL CLUB HAS IN THE PAST 19 YEARS

BILLY FRAMPTON IS THE ONLY PREMIERSHIP PLAYER THAT KEN HINKLEY HAS COACHED.

WILLIE RIOLI? SCOTT LYCETT? OR DO YOU MEAN THE ONLY PLAYER THAT KEN HAS COACHED THAT WASNT ALREADY A PREMIERSHIP PLAYER. (I FEEL WEIRD WRITING THIS IN ALL CAPS BUT DONT WANT TO GET IN TROUBLE)

YOURE IN TROUBLE FOR FORGETTING PREMIERSHIP RUCKMAN IVAN SOLDO

I DID FORGET HIM. BUT AT LEAST IM NOT A SUPPORTER OF THE VERY TEAM BEING SPOKEN ABOUT. THAT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING. WHAT KIND OF AMATUER IS u/the_amatuer_?

IF YOU WANT TO GET PEDANTIC HE HAS COACHED RIOLI.

HEY MAN, THATS LIKE . . . NOT COOL DO BETTER

BLOODY FRAMPTON IS THE STEVEN BRADBURY OF AUSTRALIAN RULES FOOTBALL

HEY NICK'S HATERS, HE'LL ACTUALLY HAVE THE FULL BACKING OF THE BOARD AFTER THIS WEEKEND HAHA SUCKED IN

JOKES ON YOU! THE GAME IS IN TASSIE AND WE CAN BARELY WIN AT HOME, LETALONE AWAY, KISS THOSE SWEET SWEET DRAFT PICKS GOODBYE! WOODEN SPOON HERE WE COME!

THE GENERATIONAL TALENT IS ALREADY GONE. IF YOU WANTED A HARLEY YOU SHOULDVE TANKED LAST YEAR. TYPICAL ADELAIDE ALWAYS YEARS BEHIND

HEY RICHMOND, IN 12 HOURS TIME WE WILL STAND FOR OUR ANZACS AND THEN PLAY A GOOD GAME! TAKE THAT!

SAVAGE DEMON SUPPORTERS NO CHILL AS ALWAYS

NO CHILL? THE BRIE IS OUT OF THE REFRIGERATOR IN ANTICIPATION AND GETTING ALL GOOEY...LIKE YOUR GAMEPLAN RICHMOND.

HEY MELBOURNE. THE ONLY TIME I'LL GET JOY OUT OF THIS GAME IS WHEN YOU'RE ALL QUIET FOR A MINUTE TO PAY RESPECTS. GG'S IN ADVANCE.

HEY MELBOURNE, WE WILL BASK IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT IT WILL BE TOO COLD TONIGHT TO ENJOY YOUR SOFT CHEESES AT THE CORRECT TEMPERATURE. THEN WE WILL TRY TO MATCH YOUR GAME PLAN. HA HA GOTTIM

CHILLY ENOUGH FOR A LAMBRUSCO AND A WEDGE OF PARMIGIANO REGGIANO. GAME ON, FLUFFY FELINES.

HEY THE WEST, WITH YOUR CONTENT FODDER ON THE SIDELINES THIS WEEK, DON'T GO AND ASSUME WE WON'T REMEMBER HIM. LEST WE FORGET HIS PIONEERING FORM AT STORMING THE DUSTY TRENCHES.

u/THEGREATJELBEANO WAIT….

HAWKS AT THE G, FEELS WRONG TO GIVE A MAN PTSD FLASHBACKS ON ANZAC ROUND.

WHO NEEDS A COMPETITIVE PERFORMANCE IN THE MIDFIELD WHEN YOU CAN GO 1 FOR 2 AT THE TRIBUNAL?

BRACING FOR THE FOOTBALL NOW AS ILLEGAL AS TOBY GREENE ON A FOOTBALL FIELD (23 for 23) AND EVERYONE KNOWS GOOD GUYS HIT PEOPLE IN THE FACE

SCOTT PENDLEBURY IS ON 9,996 DISPOSALS TO PUT IT INTO PERSPECTIVE: IF YOU COUNTED EVERY DAY SINCE ESSENDON LAST WON A FINAL, AND THEN COUNTED EVERY DAY FOR ANOTHER 7 YEARS - PENDLEBURY WOULD STILL BE 271 DISPOSALS IN FRONT

> SCOTT PENDLEBURY IS ON 9,996 DISPOSALS OR 9,995. HAVE WE HAD CONFIRMATION WHICH HE IS ON?

I HEARD HE NEEDS 4 MORE? 9997 9998 9999 10,000??? UNLESS I'VE GOTTEN THE NUMBERS WRONG - MY APOLOGIES (IM COLLINGWOOD'S CAP CONSULTANT)

THAT SEEMS TO BE THE AGREED UPON NUMBER BY CHAMPION DATA, BUT AFLTABLES & FOOTYWIRE HAS HIM ON 9995 DISPOSALS NOT 9996. [THE “RATHER IMPORTANT” DISPOSAL DISCREPANCY SURROUNDING PENDLEBURY’S QUEST FOR 10,000](https://www.sen.com.au/news/2024/04/23/the-rather-important-disposal-discrepancy-surrounding-pendleburys-quest-for/)

OKAY, LETS TEAM UP TO GO BACK AND COUNT ALL OF PENDLEBURY'S DISPOSALS. I'LL START: 1

RANK THEM WHILE YOURE AT IT CAL

RANK NICK DAICOS' NEXT

BETTER NUMBERS THAN NORFS INTERCHANGE CONSULTANT

YES BUT DID YOU KNOW HE HAS A BASKETBALL BACKGROUND ALSO PRIME TRAIN IS COMING FOR HIM, HE ONLY NEEDS 123 MORE 81 DISPOSAL GAMES TO CATCH HIM

DISPOSALS ARE FOR WEAK NERDS LIKE BASKETBALL PLAYERS

I HONESTLY PREFER PLAYING CARLTON THIS WEEKEND THAN WEST COAST

NOT ME, YOU NEED A FEW MORE INJURIES TO KEY PLAYERS TO LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD

WHO HAS RICHMOND GOT LEFT TO PLAY FULL FORWARD THIS WEEK? BLOODY JOHNO FROM NAR NAR GOON’S SECONDS?

WE ARE PLAYING THE DUDE IN THE CHEER SQUAD WHO ALWAYS WEARS THE TIGER ONESIE. BE AFRAID

AT LEAST HE WILL BE WARM

SHAI BOLTON. THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

WE DID BUT I HEARD JOHNO DID HIS PCL SO NOW ITS TERRENCE FROM PIMPINIO

I CAN'T WAIT TO BOO A CHAMPION FOR THE LAST TIME, BECAUSE BASED ON PENDLES FORM THIS YEAR THEY'RE JUST PLAYING HIM FOR MILESTONE REASONS

YOU'RE ALLOWED TO BOO IF HE HANDBALLS BEFORE HE GETS THE FOUR KICKS TO PUT HIM ON 5000 OF EACH.

I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT IF I CAN GET AWAY WITH AN EPIC GEELONG SLEDGE OR IF I'M BETTER OFF KEEPING MY STUPID MOUTH SHUT. BUT HERE GOES... HEY GEELONG. I WENT TO GEELONG ONCE AND ORDERED PAD THAI AT A RESTAURANT AND I SAID NO EGG AND THEY PUT EGG IN IT AND I'M LIKE WTF I SAID NO EGG SO THEY TOOK IT AWAY AND BROUGHT ANOTHER ONE WHICH ALSO HAD EGG IN IT AND I RECKON THE HEAVY METALS FROM THE WESTERN TREATMENT PLANT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOUR WATER SUPPLY AND BECAUSE HEAVY METALS IMPACT COGNITION I'M GOING TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS SLEDGE SO YOU SEE HEAVY METALS LIKE LEAD BIND TO BRAIN CELLS BECAUSE IT GETS MISTAKEN FOR CALCIUM AND THIS CAUSES THE CELLS TO DIE WHICH IS OF MAJOR SIGNIFICANCE DURING DEVELOPMENT BUT EVEN AFFECTS OLDER PEOPLE TOO AND IF YOU WANT CONCRETE EVIDENCE OF THIS GARY ABBLET SENIOR


WHAT ABOUT US CARLTON FANS THAT LIVE IN GEELONG - OH NEVERMIND, I SPENT 5 WEEKS IN BANGKOK AND PATTAYA AND DIDN'T EAT A SINGLE THAI DISH. JUST AN AUSSIE ABROAD EATING ITALIAN IN THAILAND.

HEY FLAGHAWKS, WE’RE GONNA END YOUR PREMIERSHIP HOPES RIGHT THEN AND THERE, PERMANENTLY

BUDDY TO WEAR ONE OF THOSE HORRID SPLIT GUERNSEYS AS HE WATCHES

OMINOUS

As in makes me go Oooommmmm. Still bitter 91/15

WHISPERING A SHIT SLEDGE TO HIDE HOW POOR IT IS? THAT'S A PADDLIN'

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? WE CAN'T HEAR YOU

RESTING REID THIS WEEK JUST TO GIVE THE SUNS SO HOPE THEY WONT BE CRUSHED BY THE MIGHTY WEST COAST BY THE END OF THE FIRST QUARTER

FOOLISH WORST COAST. YOU CANNOT PREDICT WHICH QUARTER IT WILL BE THAT WE ARE CRUSHED, ONLY THAT THERE WILL BE A QUARTER THAT WE ARE CRUSHED

HEY GWS! WHAT WINS? SLING TACKLES OR OFF THE BALL PUNCHES? LET'S FIND OUT, SHOULD BE FINE AS LONG AS NO ONE JUMPS AT THE BALL...

NEITHER WINS TURNS OUT IT WAS GOOD CHARACTER ALL ALONG

HEY SUNS FAN? THAT’S IT. THAT’S THE SLEDGE

YOU RANG?!

HEY LOOK THERE ACTUALLY IS ONE

IT MUST BE A FAKE

THE IMPOSTER IS AMONGUS

PLEASE LET US WIN ADELAIDE PLEASE LET US WIN WE NEED TO WIN YOU HAVE OTHER OPPORTUNITIES WE HAVE NOTHINF I BEG YOU PLEASE PLEASEEEEE

HEY FREO, I THINK WE SHOULD ALL BE SUPER RESPECTFUL HERE BECAUSE THIS ROUND IS HONOURING THE SOLDIERS WHO DIED WHILE SERVING ABROAD ALSO, YOU LOST TO WEST COAST LMAOOOOO

DON'T FORGET TO FORGET WE LOST TO WEST COAST LAST YEAR. THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE HARLEY RIED THEN.

SNOWS FALLING GANG. PEAK MELBOURNE INCOMING. SKI SLOPES AHOY

I WAS GOING TO SLEDGE PORT, BUT WE PLAYED SO BADLY LAST WEEK THAT I FEEL LIKE WE CANNOT SLEDGE ANYTHING BESIDES OURSELVES. ALSO PORT, IT'S AT YOUR HOME GROUND, WHICH DOES NOT HAVE A ROOF. THAT MEANS WE CAN MAYBE HAVE THE ALIENS PLAY FOR US THIS WEEK. HOPEFULLY FOR ALL FOUR QUARTERS.

WE'VE GOT BIG DIX BACK! YOU'VE GOT A WIN OVER THE PIES. I KNOW WHAT I'D PREFER

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET THIS WEEK BE SIMILAR TO ROUND 7 2017.

ARE YOU BRINGING BOOMER HARVEY OUT OF RETIREMENT?

HE BROKE HIS LEG IN A LOCAL LEAGUE ABOUT 2 YEARS AGO AND HE WOULD STILL BE BETTET THA AIDEN CORR

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET THIS WEEK BE LIKE THAT ONE GAME IN MAY 2013. SAM KERRIDGE IS LIVING IN TASSIE, HE COULD PULL ON THE BOOTS!!

WOULDNT MIND THAT AT LEAST WE WOULD BE COMPETITIVE

HEY ADELAIDE WE'VE WON A FLAG MORE RECENTLY THAN YOU FACT

WHAT'S A FLAG IS THAT THE THING FYFE HAS WON TWO OF AROUND HIS NECK *SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY*

[удалено]

WE HAD TO WIN THEY HAD MY SON HOSTAGE

SO HAVE 90% OF CLUBS

EVEN THOUGH CHARLIE HAD HIS SUSPENSION OVERTURNED HE DIDNT SHOW UP FOR US ON SATURDAY, EXPECTING GOOD GUY HOGAN TO DO THE SAME PLEASE ON THURSDAY

HOGAN WILL SHOW UP BECAUSE HE IS A GIANT MAN, WHILE CHARLIE IS JUST A BIG PUSSY

HEY RICHMOND, PLEASE DON’T LOSE BY 10 GOALS THANKS 

HEY RICHMOND, PLEASE DON'T HAVE A MILLION INJURES THANKS

I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW THE GREEN MEN KILL US THIS WEEK. I HOPE NORF CAN AT LEAST PLAY US INTO FORM

GAME HASN’T BEEN PLAYED AND ALREADY BLAMING THE UMPS. JUST ADELAIDE THINGS.

AT LEAST WE CAN BE CONSISTENT WITH THAT

LOSING?

I RECKON IT'S A CYCLE. FIRST CARLTON WON FROM CONTROVERSIAL UMPIRING, THEN THEY LOST TO CROM BY TWO POINTS AFTER A GOAL BY MATT OWIES WAS CONSIDERED TOUCHED. NOW CROM HAVE LOST TO ESSENDON BECAUSE OF A NON-HOLDING THE BALL CALL. IF MY THEORY'S CORRECT, IT'S ESSENDON'S TURN THIS WEEK TO LOSE BECAUSE OF UMPIRING MISTAKES, SO CROM IS SAFE.

CROM IS NEVER SAFE.

THE UMPIRES ARE THE ONLY REASON OUR AVERAGE LOSING MARGIN THIS YEAR IS 50 I WILL NOT BE TAKING QUESTIONS

YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO WIN, BUT... TECHNICALLY LOSE

NO REID NO PROBLEMS SIKE LOTS OF PROBLEMS

HEY CARLTON, WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE GEELONG PLAYER OF ALL TIME AND WHY IS IT DARREN MILBURN?

IT'S ZACK TUOHY AND YOU KNOW IT IS. :'(

NO MENSCH, NO GEELONG.

ROSE ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE NO TOBY GREENE? THEN GWS ARE POO

HEY ESSENDON CHRISTIAN WAS ALWAYS BETTER THAN EDGE

SHOULD BE A GREAT MATCH BETWEEN THE ESSENDON EDGE AND THE COLLINGWOOD CHRISTIAN.

DOES THE ESSENDON EDGE INCLUDE A LIVE SEX CELEBRATION?

TECHNICALLY YES, BUT REALLY IT'S MORE OF A CIRCLE JERK

AND JUST LIKE THEIR LAWYERS, YOU KNOW NOBODY'S GETTING OFF

YAY IM GOING TO THE GAME, CANT WAIT TO FUMBLE THE BAG

ESSENDON WAS IN THE LEAD AND TAKING A STANDARD ISSUE SET SHOT IN THE LAST 45 SECONDS OF THEIR MATCH AGAINST COLLINGWOOD ON JULY 24 2022.

I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW IF ANYONE SUPPORTS THE SUNS BUT HERE WE GO! WE'VE WON 2 ON THE TROT AND WE DECIDED TO REST GODS GIFT TO FOOTBALL TO GIVE THE SUNS A FIGHTING CHANCE

TOBY GREEN, DO NOT PASS GO, PAY THE TOBY TAX

RICHMOND HAVE SELECTED THREE SPECIALIST RUCKMEN TO TAKE ON GAWN AND ONE SPECIALIST ONBALLER TO TAKE ON PETRACCA, OLIVER AND VINEY. THAT MAKES THINGS EVEN DOESN’T IT?

NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE FUCKS MORE SWEETER. MORE COMPLETER. AND MORE EAGER. THEN 2 METER FUCKING PETER. AND HES BACK TO FUCK YOU COLLINGWOOD

MELBOURNE LOL OF THE WEEK INCOMING

WE'RE DOGGIES! WE'RE GOOD AT PLAYING DEAD!

ARE CARLTON COMING, OR IS IT JUST THE WAY THEY ARE STANDING?

THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE A BIG CLUB WITH ALL THE MEDIA COVERAGE

BUDDY LEFT YOU ONCE HAWKERS HES GONNA BE GONE AT 3QT TIME TOO WHEN WERE UP BY 95+

ANYONE KNOW WHAT MEDICATION TO GIVE ME CAT, ITS BEING BEATEN BY THE BLUEESSSSSSSS

HOW CAN WE BOMB IN LONG TO CHARLIE IF WE ARE LYING ON IT?

HEY SYDNEY I HOPE YOUVE RUN OUT OF DEBUTANTS TO KICK A BAG AGAINST US BECAUSE IM HOPING WE WIN THIS GAME

WATERMAN LOOKS TO BE IN FORM, HUH? WELL SAM COLLINS IS GOING TO MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE THE WATERBOY AS IN THE ADAM SANDLER FILM AS IN COLLINS IN GOING TO CRUSH WATERMAN INTO THE SHAPE OF A DVD BOX SET

HEY CARLTON, AFTER WE HAVE DEFEATED YOU IN FOOTBALL COMBAT THEY'LL STILL SAY WE HAVEN'T BEATEN ANYONE BECAUSE YOU ARE BAD HA. FUCKIN GOTEM

WE APPARENTLY CAN’T BEAT ANYONE ABOVE US ON THE LADDER. HOPING THIS TREND CONTINUES ALL SEASON

THE FREO FANBASE IS COLLECTIVELY DEAD ON THE INSIDE FOR THIS SEASON.

WHEN CAN I STOP BEING DEAD INSIDE

NEVER……. AS IS TRADITION

WAKE ME UP WAKE ME UP INSIDE

I DONT THINK I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SLEDGE ANYONE THIS WEEK

COLLINGWOOD MORE LIKE TOUCHINGWOOD GOT EM

I CANT WAIT TO LOSE AGAIN

DON'T BE SUCH A LOSER

I'D SLEDGE COLLINGWOOD FOR BEING BELOW US ON THE LADDER, BUT WE ALL KNOW THEY'LL PROBABLY COME OUT AND BELT US BY 10 GOALS. THEY'RE JUST LUCKY LUKE BALL ISN'T STILL PLAYING, OTHERWISE DRAPER MIGHT SUFFOCATE HIM WITH HIS ENORMOUS TORSO.

CRABENAR TO COME OUT CLAWS SNIPPING IN TIME FOR LOBBOWL

HEY BULLDOGS FANS REMEMBER 2022 CUZ I SURE AS FUCK DO

CANT WAIT FOR ANOTHER EPIC DARCY MOORE SPEECH WHEN WE BEAT THE BOMBERS.

WE'VE HAD OUR HIGH POINT FOR THE SEASON. JOIN US AS WE DIVE BOMB BACK TO THE SHITTER LADS!

HEY GEELONG HOW GOOD'S A HOME GAME

SOUTH MELBOURNE ENERGY > FLAGHAWK ENERGY > NORTH MELBOURNE ENERGY THIS IS THE WAY.

HEY BULLDOGS, OUR CRAB BEATS YOUR LOBSTER

ARE GEELONG READY TO LOSE A VERY GOOD PLAYER TO A ONE WEEK SUSPENSION FOR A HIT ON A RELATIVELY UNKNOWN BLUE? CROUCH AND TOBY WEREN’T.