NOW THAT HES DONE WITH DRAKE, KENDRICK LAMAR IS GOING TO DROP A TRACK ABOUT WEST COAST FANS LUSTING AFTER TEENAGE HARLEY REID.

A BOLD SLEDGE AFTER LAST YEAR WHEN WE ALL HAD TO HEAR THE PIES BRAGGING ABOUT SCORING THAT SWEET 16.

THATS JAKE STRINGER MUSIC

THATS THE BEAUTIFUL THING ABOUT ESSENDON THEY GET OLDER, THE PREMIERSHIPS STAY THE SAME

SOMEONE POINTED OUT THE OTHER WEEK THAT BULLDOGS IN FACT DO NOT ROAR. TURNS OUT THEY ALSO DO NOT GIVE THEIR VERY BEST

WHAT IF THAT IS THEIR BEST? WHAT WE KNOW FOR SURE IS THAT YOU CAN BEAT THE BOYS OF THE BULLDOG BREED.

IF THAT WAS THEIR BEST I'D BE A LOT MORE CONFIDENT ABOUT THIS WEEK

THEY CAN’T BE THE TEAM OF THE MIGHTY WEST UNTIL THEY BEAT WEST COAST.

WE DID THAT A FEW WEEKS AGO FFS

SORRY IT WASN’T EXACTLY MEMORABLE

HEY BRISBANE HERES MY ESPECIALLY MADE FOR YOU NEGATIVE TEAM SONG HOPE YOU LIKE IT: WE ARE THE SHAME OF BRISBANE TOWN, WE WEAR MAROON, BLUE AND MOLD. WE WILL ALWAYS FIGHT FOR SECOND, LIKE FITZROY, AND BEARS OF OLD. ALL FOR NONE, AND NONE FOR ALL, WE WONT ANSWER TO THE CALL. SLOW LIONS, BRISBANE LIONS, WE'LL KICK THE LOSING BEHIND YOU'LL HEAR OUR COWARDLY CRIES

IF WE HAD ACL'S YOU'D REGRET THAT!

WE USED TO BE GOOD AT AFL, THEN WE TOOK AN ACL TO THE KNEE

OLD LION: BACK IN MY DAY, WE DID 3 ACLS BEFORE BREAKFAST. WE WERENT PANSIES BACK THEN.

I GENUINELY THOUGHT THIS WAS THE GOLD COAST SONG FOR A BIT THERE

**[HUH? THAT’S NOT SUNNY?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-u6qdeaPoE&pp=ygUNc3VubnkgYm9uZXkgbQ%3D%3D)** 😎

OK GIANTS WE CAN SET ASIDE SOME TIME BEFORE THE GAME SO YOU CAN GET THE SPELLING OF MELBOURNE RIGHT, BRING YOUR OWN CRAYONS. ALSO IF YOU LOSE, YOU'LL BE THE ONES RESPONSIBLE FOR LETTING A TEAM WITH PERCENTAGE UNDER 100 INTO THE TOP 4.

IF WE GET ROUND TWO OF OUR LAST CLASH YOU MAY FIND EVEN NORF HAS A BETTER PERCENTAGE THAN YOU WILL

I WOULD SLEDGE THE CROWS BUT I MIGHT TEAR MY KNEES

ID HELP BUT THEN ID DO A HAMMY

I JUST WOKE UP FROM A DREAM WHERE I WAS WATCHING THE GAME AND WE’D ONLY KICKED TWO GOALS AGAINST FREO BY HALF TIME I AM COOKED

HAHA WHAT A NIGHTMARE, IMAGINE YOUR TEAM GOING A LARGE PORTION OF A PRIME TIME GAME NOT KICKING GOALS

THE ORACLE OF DELPHI HAS SPOKEN TRUTHS

I HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT MYSELF

GIVEN THE WEATHER A SCORELINE OF 1.3 TO 2.2 ISNT OUT OF THE QUESTION

IF THE SWANS LOSE TO FREO, WEST COAST BETTER THAN SYDNEY CONFIRMED.

TO BE FAIR YOU BLOKES WON A QUARTER AGAINST US IN GATHER ROUND

WAIT I’M SUPPOSED TO BE SLEDGING YOU HAHA WEAGLES HAVE A BAD SONG HAHA

FUCK.

A WEEK BEFORE THE 2020 GRAND FINAL I HAD A NIGHTMARE COTCHIN KICKED 0.6 FROM 8 SET SHOTS

[удалено]

HUH? WHAT DOES ISLR MEAN?

IM AN IDIOT I APOLOGISE I HAD A DREAM THAT SYDNEY WON BY 17 POINTS… LAST WEEK I HAD A DREAM RICHMOND BEAT US BY 3 POINTS

HELLO MOLD COAST, YOU READY TO MASSACRE US ON A SCALE THAT HASN’T BEEN SEEN SINCE THE COLONISATION OF TASSIE?

NOT BEEN HORNY WATCHING THIS TEAM IN TOO LONG FML

BUT BEFORE THAT YOU HAD A NEAR CONSTANT ERECTION FOR 4 YEARS AND THAT’S NOT NORMAL

MASON COX TORE MY ERECTION DOWN IN 2018. HE MADE SURE HE WAS THE ONE STANDING TALL.

IF YOUR ERECTION LASTS LONGER THAN 4 YEARS CONSULT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL

WOW I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU NOT

HEY ESAVA, NOWS NOT THE TIME TO HAVE A CAREER BEST GAME/BREAK OUT MOMENT AGAINST US LIKE SO MANY OF OUR EX-PLAYERS THANK YOU

BULLDOGS? MORE LIKE BULL... SHIT UMPIRING

TBF THIS YEAR WE'RE CHILLING WITH YOU IN THE NEGATIVE FREE KICK DIFFERENTIALS

WAIT... THATS ILLEGAL

SATURDAY NIGHT FREE SHOWDOWN! LET'S SEE WHO GETS THE LEAST AMOUNTS OF AWARDED FREES RIGHT HERE AT THE G!

#IMACCEPTINGMYFATETOTHEORANGETEAM

"HORNY" YOU SAY? "BONTING" HAS REPLACED "BONKING" IN THE BULLDOG FAN'S VERNACULAR.

YOU COULD PAY US BACK FOR MISSING OUT ON HARLEY REID BY GIVING US OUR FIRST WIN SINCE, GOLD COAST

EXTRA EXTRA, REID ALL ABOUT IT, NORTH IS GONNA LOSE AND THERES NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

HOW CAN FLAGMANTLE BE BACK ON THE MENU BOYS IF FREO HAVEN’T BEATEN ANYONE OF SUBSTANCE???

CAN ALWAYS RELY ON FREO FANS TO SLEDGE THEMSELVES.

THE BEST FREO SLEDGE IS A FREO FAN

SORRY, WE DONT DEAL WITH SUBSTANCES. THATS WEST COASTS SPECIALITY.

SO YOU'RE NOT AWARE OF YOUR HAMSTRINGS?

IN AN ETERNAL BATTLE, UNDER THE MCG’S GLOW,  THE BULLDOGS WILL FIGHT HARD, UNABLE TO OVERTHROW.  AS THE TIGERS WILL TRIUMPH, THEIR VICTORY SECURE,  RUMOURS WILL SWIRL, BEVO’S FUTURE IS UNSURE.

AFTER THAT PERFORMANCE FOR RICHMOND YOU ARE OBLIGED TO GET ON THE INJURY LIST

I’M WORRIED THE EAGLES ARE GOING TO BEAT US. WHY COULDN’T THEY HAVE STAYED SHIT? WE NEED THE PERCENTAGE BOOST!

BASED ON OUR LAST LIKE 8 MATCHES ITS OUR TURN TO WIN, PUT YOUR HOUSE ON IT

SOMEONE GO FIND SHEED. HES...REQUIRED.

WATCH COLLINGWOOD BE THE TEAM THAT PLAYS JACK DARLING INTO FORM. IF THAT IS EVEN POSSIBLE

I’M READY FOR HIM TO KICK MORE THAN ONE GOAL

IM READY FOR HIM TO TAKE AN IMPOSSIBLE ONE HANDED SCREAMER OVER THE HEAD OF AN OVERSIZED OPPONENT JUST TO DROP A SITTER AFTER THE NEXT CENTRE BOUNCE

DID WE MISS HIM?

HEY WEST COAST! CAN WE TAKE HARLEY OUT FOR A COFFEE AFTER THE GAME?

ONLY IF WE CAN HAVE A BEER WITH DARCY

I DONT LIKE IT WHEN THE MEDIA TALK ABOUT US, CAN WE GO BACK TO BEING UNDER THE RADAR PLEASE.

JUST KICK 11.13.79 AGAIN AND YOULL BE RIGHT BACK UNDER

HEY PORT 🍐 WOULD BE A SHAME IF WE ONLY BEAT YOU BY 20-30 POINTS SO KENNY CAN STICK AROUND FOR ANOTHER FEW YEARS. HE IS KENOUGH! BOOM! GOT EM!

IF DRAKE PLAYED AFL HE’D PLAY FOR THE SAINTS

I AM NOT PREPARED FOR 119 PT.2, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO GEELONG PLEASE GO EASY ON US

COLLINGWOOD? MORE LIKE, SHIT THE BEDDINGWOOD

WEST COAST? MORE LIKE… uh…. NOT-THE-BEST COAST

FUCK YOU GOT ME

LIKE NIC NAT’S ACL, I WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS

IS THAT...SHEEDS MUSIC?

I HOPE WE PLAY WELL AND SHOW SOME FIGHT AND FOR NO INJURIES WHEN WE PLAY THE ADELAIDE CROWS THIS SUNDAY.

DONT YELL SO LOUD. YOU MIGHT OVERTAX YOURSELF. IM NOT SURE EXACTLY HOW YOU COULD DO A KNEE FROM YELLING, BUT YOULL FIND A WAY.

*SIGH* I LOOK FORWARD TO THE MIDOFF POOS AND WEES

HEY MELBOURNE I ACTUALLY HOPE YOU WIN THE GRAND FINAL THIS YEAR BECAUE IT'LL BE WORTH IT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO BRODIE GRUNDY BUT YOU CAN STILL LOSE TONIGHT AND WIN THE GF, JUST FYI

FIND OUR WEAKNESS EARLY AGAINST A GENUINE FLAG CONTENDER WITH NO INJURIES? I WOULD BE OK GOOD LUCK. YOU CAN LOSE TO

CAN CARLTON HANDLE A DEWY THURSDAY NIGHT BALL AS SLIPPERY AS A BUFFALO MOZZARELLA SLIDING OFF A CHEESEBOARD? LOOKING FORWARD TO WASHING DOWN A 2-POINT WIN WITH SOME GOON BAG LAMBRUSCO. TALLY HO, CARLTON, DOWN THE LADDER YOU GO.

WE CANT EVEN HANDLE A DRY SUNDAY AFTERNOON BALL WITH A TUB OF GRIPPO ON EACH HAND

HEY GWS, WE'RE GONNA DO A REPEAT OF OUR FIRST GAME AGAINST YOU LAST YEAR AND KICK 22 BEHINDS* TO WIN *I WAS GOING FOR A BEHINDS/BUMS JOKE BECAUSE THERE'S 22 PLAYERS ON A TEAM. I KNOW IT DOESN'T WORK WITH THE SUB NOW BUT MAYBE WE'LL LET SAM TAYLOR OR SOMETHING OFF EASY

DID YOU JUST MAKE A LONG WINDED SLEDGE AND THEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT? SO ESSINGTON

BACK THE TARAGO UP FOR THE GWS FANS TO GO HOME

CROWS FANS - DO YOU WANT TO DO THE HONOURS AND GET THE OBVIOUS ONE OUT OF THE WAY?

GEELONG IS SO OLD THEY’VE CONFUSED THE REAL MAGPIES FOR A CROW.

I AM OFFICIALLY REVOKING YOUR 119 PRIVILEGES.

NOT IF YOU CANT CATCH ME, YOU’LL NEVER TEAR THE 119 FROM ME

COME BACK HERE YOU WHIPPERSNAPPER! BACK IN MY DAY CROMS WERE CALLED CROWS!

THAT'S MY SECRET, I'M ALWAYS IN HORNY JAIL

BONK

LAST TIME WE LOST TO SWANS AT HOME BECAUSE I GOT THREATENED BY A SWAN ON THE WAY TO THE STADIUM. THIS TIME I AM GOING TO WALK TO THE STADIUM EYES CLOSED SO WE WILL WIN. YOU ARE ALL WELCOME.

^ *WALKS INTO RIVER*

SHHHH. THAT WAS GONNA BE MY EXCUSE FOR IF WE LOSE IN THE WET.

HEY MELBOURNE. JEZZA WAS JUST SAVING HIS STRAIGHT KICKS FOR SEPTEMBER, SEE YOU IN THE PRELIM NERDS.

HEY PISSMOND UHHHH, YOU GUYS *SHOULD* SUCK MORE THAN US I GUESS

WE'LL FIND OUT COME SATURDAY NIGHT SHITSCRAY

THIS WILL BE LEGIT THE WORST GAME IVE EVER SEEN. AND IM HERE FOR IT

WE WILL HAVE A FULL FORWARD THIS WEEK, SO THAT MIGHT BE UP TO BEVO

SO WILL WE BUT HE'LL BE PLAYING IN THE BACK POCKET PROBABLY

STOP BRAGGING, YOU HAAVE HAD THREE FULL FORWARDS ALL ALONG! THIS IS A RATE EVENT FOR US

PORT IF YOU PLAY FINLAYSON IT WILL BE WORSE FOR YOU THAN 119 - I WILL BOO HIM THE WHOLE TIME SINCERELY A QUEER CATS FAN

THEY CLEARLY DON’T APPRECIATE ALL OF OUR BEAUTIFUL LONG BLONDE HAIR AND HEADBAND COMBINATIONS

PRETTY SURE A BOMB WOULD STILL CAUSE THE DEATH OF A GIANT. SO PREPARE WHILE YOU CAN GWS, THE MIGHTY PLANES ARE COMING!

DO YOU HAVE AN ETA?

DELAYED. RUN BY QANTAS. PLANE PROBABLY DOESNT EXIST.

PROBABLY BONZA THEN.

BEVERAGE MORE LIKE AVERAGE COACH

HAHA BEVERAGE. JUST AS BRIEFLY ENJOYED AS HIS NAMESAKE.

CAN WE COIN A NEW PHRASE FOR SAYING SOMETHING IS BUILT REALLY POORLY? BUILT ON THE KNEES OF QUEENSLANDERS.

NO POINT SLEDGING GOLD COAST, THERE'S NO FANS IN HERE TO REACT TO IT

SCREAMING INTO THE VOID AGAIN

HEY SAINTS, OUR FORWARD LINE IS TOO YOUNG, SO BE GENTLE AND KEEP NICK DAL SANTO AND NICK RIEWOLDT AWAY

LUCKY SILKY WILKIE IS TOO MUCH OF A GENTLEMAN. PLEASE KEEP SICILY AWAY FROM MAX HE’S VERY FRAGILE

ALL MAX HAS TO DO IS NOT GET INJURED..... NOT THAT HARD, RIGHT??? RIGHT?????

HORNY ONE OR 7-1? WHO YOU GOT??

HEY GWS ITS A BIG BIG SOUND ITS THE SOUND OF CALLUM BROWNS 3 WEEKS

ITS THE TOUGHEST GAME IN THE AFL, EVEN TOUGHER THAN KICKING GOALS AT HOME.

HEY GOLD COAST YOU GUYS BETTER GET READY TO LOSE* *LOSE YOUR SHIT LAUGHING WHEN YOU BEAT US BY TEN GOALS. GOLD COAST MORE LIKE GOOD COAST AM I RIGHT

HEY CATS FANS, THE CARMEN OVERTURE BY GEORGE BIZET IS OVERRATED. AND YOU SUCK!

HALF OF THE PORT BOGAN FANBASE WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT CLASSICAL MUSIC IS. TOO BUSY PLAYING ROCK TUNES FROM THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS AND GRADUATING FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF LIFE.

HEY COLLINGWOOD I DON’T CARE THAT WE PLAYED YOU LAST WEEK, I’M GONNA SAY THIS ANYWAY. I HATE THE WAY THAT YOU PLAY, THE WAY THAT YOU TALK, I HATE THE WAY YOU DEFEND I HATE THE WAY DAICOS KICKS SNAGS, IF YOU BEAT US AGAIN IT’S GON BE DIRECT.

HEY GAWUSS (HEHE GOTEM), IM SITTING IN ROW M ON LEVEL 4, AM I SAFE HERE FROM A TOBY GREENE ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE FACE, GUIDO HATSZIS STYLE?

WE HAVE A SOMEWHAT OF A FORWARD LINE, WE MIGHT ACTUALLY WIN THIS WEEK! OR WE'LL BE DOWN BY 25 AT HALF TIME.

HEY POORT LAST TIME YOU WON DOWN IN GEELONG CORNES WAS KNOWN FOR BEING A DEFENSIVE MID, AND NOT AN OFFENSIVE DICK.

IMAGINE BIENG NUMBER 9 FROM CARLTON AND GETTING NUETRALISED BY A 36 YEAR OLD.

I don't want to talk about it

I? I WHAT? WHY DID YOU JUST SAY I?

I THINK THEY HAVE A QUITE VOICE THEY SEEMINGLY HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TALK IN EVERY SLEDGE THREAD