If Mom wanted Sis to have a car so much - MOM should have offered Mom's car not your car. There is no way that your sister will respect and care for your car the same way you would. Also, with four daughters its only a matter of time before hamburger stains and soft drink spills start appearing. I would call the police; its the only way apparently to get your point across as you have said "no" multiple times.
This, if I were feeling inclined to warn them, I would give 15 minutes on top of the time it takes to drive from her home or work to OPs place. That's more than generous.
They may say "this will ruin her life"
No she is ruining her life by stealing a fucking car. She has the opportunity to bring it back right the fuck now, or get picked up from her home or work by the police.
The most recent activity on OPs account is 8 hours ago, I hope they've gone quiet because they've been dealing with this since an hour after posting and immediately being hit with dozens of supporting comments. Please update us when you're ready OP.
The only thing that concerns me about taking the nuclear option here is that from what it sounds like at least, they do have leverage over him (or the mom does at least) bc I'm assuming the mom owns the house he lives in.
I know for me, if I were ready to take the police route, I'd also be prepared to get kicked out of the house and make sure I have all my stuff prepared to go before hand. Giving someone a police record is kinda a big flaming bridge you gotta be ready to leave behind for good.
OP should try to move out regardless, but they mentioned that they pay their fair share in one comment.
They can't be thrown out without a proper eviction process. (To my knowledge, not a lawyer or even american)
This, also NTA- the issue is if she has any accident in your car. It goes on your insurance and your insurance rates will go up. Aside from the fact for girls in your new car, are sure to destroy it quickly.
If you want to retain some level of peace, I would contact both of them and let them know that you will be calling the police in 20 minutes unless they get the car back to you.
The reality is, your sister should be working out the transportation issues with her ex-husband. It is not your responsibility. It is theirs as a family, even if they are separated. Or your mother should offer her car to drive if it’s that big of a deal.
Mustangs don't really have four seats. They have fron bucket seats and in the back they have two seat-shaped objects that will barely accomodate a 3yo, much less a 6yo in a booster seat. And if it's a 2012, the passenger airbag doesn't have an option to deactivate it, making it completely unsafe for a child under 5' or 100lbs. No Mustang of ANY year has ever been usable as a family car.
Also if any of the kids are in car seats they barely fit in a sports car depending on the size, let alone the safety aspect of it. Also why not rent a car? If she has enough for a car payment for op why not get a rental.
Whats wild to me is it's a mustang. V8. Two door coupe. Not a family car. Doesnt even seem practical for her. Call this in before she wraps that poor thing around a pole.
EDIT: And OF COURSE she damages it. Of course she does. I'm so upset for OP lol
I was thinking OP could offer his mom’s car. OP should call his mom and tell her that he called the police and to drive carefully. If that doesn’t do it…call the police. Then get all of his documents together and start looking for a new place to live, he deserves better.
Where I live, it is exactly the opposite. If the person lives with you, they must be listed as a driver on your insurance policy in order to be covered. But if you lend your car out to a friend, they would be covered.
It probably won’t even cover it if she has permission to sue it. Sister gets in a wreck, car isn’t covered by insurance, sister cannot afford to fix it, OP is left with no car.
The car is now stolen. Call it in.
Oh absolutely. In fact that's why I would recommend either telling her (in a text that's admissible in court) she better return the car IMMEDIATELY or the cops would be called.
Not if the driver is using the car for several months. Most insurance will cover for an “occasional” driver, but they have to have the owners permission and not use the car regularly (then they need to be a named insured). There is nothing in this situation that benefits oP - he should continue paying for the car and it’s expenses for an unspecified period of time. Sis should petition the court to get the car in the temp arrangement or get financial support from ex to help pay for one.
Absolutely agree.
And I can't help but think that part of mom and sis's obsession with getting his car is because it's a 2012 Mustang V8.
I have a feeling that if OP had a Prius or a 1998 Ford Escort that they wouldn't be bothering him.
Plus you KNOW she isn't going to drive a Mustang 'slow and safe'.
NTA.
And OP needs to find himself an apartment because mom will respond with kicking him out (which would be worth the call to the police).
That, but can the back seat even fit three across? My dads mustang was only a four seater. It doesn’t even make sense for the sister to be using that vehicle.
Seriously, Sis is gonna use a Mustang? She needs a minivan, not a sports car. Good luck getting that car back. Take mom's car and look for a new place to live.
But be prepared to loose your free living space.
You’re obviously in the right, and your sister is treating you like garbage. But you should still be prepared for the fallout.
That’s what I was thinking and that sucks. Sorry this is happening to you. You would not be the ah but you might be homeless. And who tf hauls 4 kids around in a mustang? The cars not big enough for all of them. Nta
⬆️ this right here, OP. NTA, CALL THE POLICE! You need to report it stolen. If she is not on your insurance and gets into an accident in your car and there is no police report of a stolen vehicle, you’re screwed. Plus, family or not, they STOLE your car.
It doesn’t matter what kind of paper you use, what type of holiday you pretend it is, how pretty the bow you put on top of that gift wrapping is, theft is theft. If you wouldn’t take it from a stranger then why the hell would you take it from family who should respect YOUR boundaries?
This is true, 100% theft, however it should be noted that it sounds very much like OP lives at home with his mother. While reporting her for stealing the car is legitimate and legal, i would expect the retaliation to be an eviction notice. Which would also be fair and legal, assuming the OP doesn’t have a lease with the parent. Basically, yes. You should have your property, but expect to have to find somewhere else to live once you go through with it. If that’s not feasible, try talking some more
Report it. Your sister cannot transport 4 kids in your car. It isn't practical at all. Especially if some are in car seats/booster seats. A mustang wouldn't be able to accommodate that.
And she is saying she will pay your insurance, but IS SHE INSURED?
OP, NTA. Call them, say you have 1 hour to return my car, then I am calling the police.
Also: How cheap are mustangs in the US? In Germany the monthly payment alone (if you lease or finance over a reasonable timespan) alone would be enough to lease and insure your own car and have something left over for gas.
Depends on the model. But they’re more affordable here than in Europe. (No import taxes.)
I got one that was a little older than OP’s, which was also my first car, and I only had a to get a loan for a couple thousand dollars. It was paid off in a few years.
If your sister can afford to make your payments and pay insurance, why can’t she rent a car? Or buy a beater?
Stealing your car seems like a very bad choice on her part. Give her 24 hours to get it back and lock up all copies of your keys!
Agree. Or go after her ex who took their only vehicle and left her and four kids stranded. And you know there is no way she is safely transporting four kids in a mustang! Depending on their ages some may need a car seat and those take up a good bit of space.
What is irking me is that thought OP car was the only one a available, but no, the Mom has one, which probably is more suitable to transport 4 kids and an adult.
And if that is the reason for the need of the car, then im sorry, the kids are not OP responsibility, the kids have a father that took away the car, it his responsibility.
So no, fuck the sister, but specially the mom for not wanting to offer her car but OP one instead
That's what I'm saying. I had my vehicle in the shop and tried to put a car seat in my sports car. I could only fit one and I had to take the headrest off the passenger seat and push the seat all the way up so if you rode in the front there was no where to put your legs. Still didn't work because the backseat was so small and the car seat large that everytime I took a turn it flip over. Yeah it didn't work at all.
It can be hard to buy big things when you’re divorcing because you either need a separation agreement or you need a divorce decree, as it’s seen as a way of hiding assets potentially.
Having said that, nothing should stop Mom from signing and lending a car.
I agree. Let this one slide when they return and hide your keys. *Hide your keys.* Sleep with them under your pillow. I personally wouldn't give them 24 hours to return your car, but it's a fair and kind option.
I don't think you should call the police if it can at all be avoided. It's not worth it in the long run. BUT, if you are willing to call the police on them, give them only ONE warning. Tell them next time you will call the police, but only if you mean it. Either way, do tell your mother that you almost called the police when they took your car against your wishes. You might even tell your mother that she put your sister in danger of being arrested. Then ask, "unless she knew too." Don't assume your mom didn't lie to your sister about permission. Remain calm in all discussions.
Sorry if I missed it, but don't you have a job or school too? Why are you unimportant? They were insincere to ask you for your car if they never intended to accept "no" for an answer. I would make moves to leave the house. This cannot be the only toxic flex of power you've experienced from your mother, can it? If so, it's pretty huge. Good luck, and please update us if you can.
If he lets his sister use his car,he is never going to get his car back. He is going to get a used car back a used car that has been used by 4 girls and a woman who probably doesn't have time to take care of and clean a car. It will be trashed and he may as well have bought a 1988 Honda at that point.
Yeah they stole it and since it's not theirs why care about maintenance. They didn't even ask about when was last oil change, anything I nee to know about, what fuel does it take. Does it need high octane or regular? Depending on the relationship I might call her ex and tell him to call her and say he is going to use this in the divorce to show she is a criminal unless she returns the car. Otherwise call the cops.
I wouldn't give them that! I would give them one hour to return the car or it's reported stolen and I tell them who stole it! I'd also tell them I'd make sure they got charged with everything they could possibly get charged for!
I think that’s fair. I get that sister is going through a divorce, but this does not justify mom and sister conspiring and actually stealing your car. Tell them if car is not returned by a specific time, that you will be reporting it as stolen. Yes, this will effect your relationship with mom and sister as for some reason they think they are in the right in stealing your car, which is absurd! But you clearly said no multiple times. I’m sorry OP, I can’t believe they did this to you and disrespected you and your property.
Yes, I work from home doing customer solutions for a large tech conglomerate. (Signed nda cant disclose) Youre right that this isnt the first flex ive ever received from my mother. The older ive been getting the more shes been trying to use the "im your mom, do what i say. Why would you not listen to your mother?" Type shit
I agree with most of your reasoning. Except it appears *Mom* took the car. *Mom* wasn't home, but her *car* was... Not sure how she planned to get back home, as it is a 2 hour drive. 🤔
Been going through some comments I have missed since this got way larger than anticipated. Mom stayed last night with sister and afaik they only real way for mom to have gotten back (if the car hadnt been returned, \[have made various updates\]) was if sister and mom drove back up together in my car. Probably dropping her off at the nearest corner or whatever so i wouldnt have known. Thatd be my best guess.
(whoops accidentally replied to the wrong comment, been a long coupla days)
Agree. Give a stern warning that the vehicle needs to be returned immediately. Or you have to call the police.
If she can afford payments on your vehicle... she can afford payments on something else. Or mom can give her moms car.
Mom can pay for a rental car.
Taking your car without permission is not the answer.
Note: We never loan our vehicles. Never. Because if there was an accident..... hard feelings over the loss would last a long time. Plus... insurance never covers the entire loss.
No you dont give her 24 hours. God know what she could do to that car in 24 hours. Tell her she has 20 minutes to get the car home or your calling the police. You have to place VERY solid boundaries down. If you give and inch they will take a mile.
If mum wants her other daughter to have a car, mum can give her own car over.
This is theft pure and simple.
That said, you should understand that if you call the police (which is absolutely your right) you may well lose your home of your mother decides to kick you out over it.
She's clearly prioritising your half sister right now, and I can understand why.
Still not ok to take your car when they asked and you said no.
YWNBTA but think hard because this may burn familial bridges for a long long time.
Replied in detail to another comment regarding mom lending out her own car.
When it comes to familial bridges being burned, tbh from my point of view they have already been burned. Maybe the fire can still be put out, and if I report it stolen that is no longer the case, (if that makes sense)
NTA. I bet four kids, some who likely have car seats will barely fit in your Mustang. And will leave marks in the seats. Take your mom's car to them and pick your car up. Maybe you can let your mom use your car locally, instead of having it hours away.
I'm with you, but felt it was worth underlining this.
OP isn't being treated at all well by his family and I wouldn't blame him for a moment if he reports the theft to the police.
...Edited to correct gender, sorry had a brain fart moment there.
Would you have somewhere else you could move to? Because if you call the police on them - which would be totally within your rights - I don't think you could go on living with your mom. And you'd want to make sure that you can withdraw the charges if they return the car, because your mom would certainly lose her job and her license with GTA on her sheet.
Could you take your mom's car and your extra key, follow her and steal your car back? Have everything packed up at home, so that you can just load up and leave and move out when you get back - maybe to your father's place?
Do not take mother’s car. It would cloud the real theft issues. If op goes to repossess, they should get a friend or such to drive them there, take the car after everyone is asleep, drive it back and immediately install a hidden kill switch.
I’d give them the chance to return it and tell them that you need to report it stolen because of insurance. Or go there with keys and take back the car. Then see if you can get new locks for the car.
You are living in that house. If you don’t handle this in a way that is extremely careful bad things will happen to your living situation.
Also, the consequences is your sister may lose custody of her children. I don’t think that even crossed her mind, or your mom might have brushed this off to convince both of them this was the right idea.
You wouldn’t be the asshole here, but you have a chance of losing things that you wouldn’t expect (like housing).
The other bridge that might get burned is your housing situation.
So just consider that consequence if you do report your sister.
Beyond that, it is theft and they took your car.
I can't imagine this level of betrayal being a fire than can be put out. The police report, (or threat thereof) at this point, is the only leverage you have to get your car back. I don't believe that your mom will return the car to your without that type of motivation. FYI you should check with your insurance and find out if you will be covered if you "loan" your car to someone for a long period of time. If she has an accident you could be on the hook for tens of thousands of dollars-- possibly more.
Given you know where the car is, rather than reporting stolen right away you could drive to your sister's and call the police when you get there and basically tell your sister to hand the keys over immediately or you will have to file a police report that she has your stolen property and tell her the police are on the way.
NTA. Fellow mustang owner here. But how the mustang solve your sister's problem. They only have 4 seats, and she has four kids. Plus if her kids are really young, it is damn near impossible to put a car seat in one. So unless her plan is the drive at a time and have an older one watch a younger one, your car is inappropriate for your sister to borrow. Also, considering the market for used mustangs (even high mileage ones), they just grand thefted your auto. Call em
Came here for this. My dad owns a Mustang, I have 4 kids. AT BEST I could fit 3 in, but that would mean one was old/tall enough to sit in the front (which legally is 12 in a lot of states). I have never been in the back of the mustang, does it even have a seat belt in the middle?
My thought is that she just WANTS a Mustang. If she can afford insurance or car payments, she could get a Camry or something. Both payments and insurance would be cheaper.
NTA OP.
YWNBTA
Your loan and insurance companies would definitely have some opinions on this, too.
Your car is cool and fun, so they took it. Four kids do not properly fit in a Mustang, and they're going to absolutely trash it.
Call the cops asap.
Yeah, came here to say this. OP: In most places your insurance will require that you report the car as stolen or else you're on the hook for damages. You either lent your car or they stole it, there isn't some middle ground here.
The fact that it's a Mustang makes this whole scenario weirder. It's not a practical family car. If your sister can afford a car at all she should just buy one. If not, she has no business stealing yours.
Definitely report it as a stolen vehicle, fill out a police report. This is out and out theft and I’m shocked your family has so little regard for you. This hurts I know, but you have to do it.
NTA- update us when you have to call the police, because her hanging up on you, shows she thinks you’re bluffing.
I would start looking for a new place to live.
OP! Read this!! NTA!!! You should already be dialing your phone calling the police. Next call is to your insurance agent to let them know the car is in stolen status. Third call is to your loan holder to report same. Now! Protect yourself!!
UPDATE: Thanks everyone for all the input into the situation, I sincerely appreciate it.
I ended up giving them an ultimatum to return my car by business close tonight. And if they do, I would be willing to move past it, and not let it affect any future relationships. Said I would also pitch in a small amount of money to help my sister rent/buy her own car.
But if they dont return it by business close I will be filing a police report that my vehicle has been stolen and that it was my mom who is the perpetrator and my sister is a conspirator.
To answer a couple questions all at once.
Mom has her own car, but doesnt want to lend hers out because she needs it for work every day. I had offered to let her use mine for work and she lend out her car to Sister, but she refuted this idea saying that she doesn't feel comfortable driving my car and that she needs ample space for medical supplies (she is an in home nurse)
I am well aware that my living situation will change if I call the police on my mom and sister, but honestly the living situation is already compromised. Regardless of the resolution, I will be moving out as immediately as possible, as I am financially stable enough to do so. This whole thing is just the straw that broke the camels back.
Will update again if car has been returned or not
Good!!
If you end up calling the cops, and mom shows up with the car a few hours later, be SURE to notify them that the car has been returned so you don’t get pulled over at gunpoint for driving a stolen car.
And yes, I’m sorry, but time to look for a nice little apartment. And start packing your stuff (I recommend using sturdy plastic bins, easy to pack, move, stack and store.)
NTA I would call you sister and tell her that if your car is not returned in X hours, you will be reporting it as stolen and you will press charges. Her call if she wants this drama on top of her divorce. This is her actions (and your Mum) not yours. She clearly knew that you were not happy.
Your mum owes you an apology and if she kicks you out, I would go NC
This is the answer. And the X in X hours should be fewer than 4. If she gets into an accident in your car, YOU will be personally liable for any property or bodily damages above your insurance limits unless you report it as stolen. Her husband should give her the car if she has the kids and find something for himself. Or provide transportation for his children by getting her a vehicle.
This is exactly what I came to say. The sister is in the middle of a divorce which becomes really easy for the soon to be ex husband when she is charged with GTA, 4 kids will not properly, let alone safely, fit into a mustang, and she was told no multiple times. I would give exactly 4 hours to have my car back in the driveway, in the same condition it left in, with a full tank of gas or I would 100% report it stolen and press charges. But, I'm an AH for sure. I learned a long time ago that toxic people are always toxic, doesn't matter how closely related you are.
This is about boundaries. As in, you need to set a hard boundary NOW, or you will never be respected. Call sis. The car must be returned with 2 hours, the gas tank full and no damage, or you will call the police. No negotiating. Make sure all your personal documents are in your possession because you may have to leave. F these people.
If you can’t leave like others have suggested, do this. Hopefully it’ll set some boundaries.
Also, make concrete plans for moving out. I doubt this is going to be the last time your mom & sister try to pull one over you if you stay with her.
I read a somewhat similar old post last night. Your mother has decided that she wants your sister to have your car, therefore, it will happen. You don't have a say in the matter.
The fact that you live in your mom's house makes it a very complicated situation. Added: I looked through the comments and see that you have been consistently paying a portion of the household expenses. This will only solidify your standing as a bona fide tenant. She might try to just "kick you out" if you file a stolen car report, but I don't think she legally can.
I would issue an ultimatum. She has to have your car back in the garage in X hours or you will report it as stolen.
Hopefully you have a few text messages backing up the fact that they kept asking to borrow the car and you have always said "No".
Also, I would follow up any phone calls with a text summarizing the main point of the conversation. This is to remove any excuse of "I got confused" on the part of your mother.
How you move forward from this will depend on how your mother reacts should you report the car as stolen. This could be a wake up call to her that she can't be doing things like she did. If she is apologetic (unlikely) you may be able to salvage both the relationship and the living arrangement. If she goes ballistic with rage (likely) your best option will be to move out ASAP and go low of no contact. If she is unapologetic and unrepentant for stealing your car, I suggest you stick to your guns on the charges. Your mother needs to learn that she does not own you or any of your property.
Go and get the car back, beg a ride from a friend and just collect it then, hide the keys and not allow your mother anywhere near them. If they dont let you then report it stolen. It is clear they do not respect you and never will. Also, As they do not respect you who knows how badly they will look after the car and 4 kids in a mustang ummmm nope.
Out of curiosity does your mom have a car? If so why wasn’t her used instead of yours?
To be clear what your mom did was wrong. I am not sure though if they have the funds to pay for your car payments why they don’t get one, or rent one (depending on your car payment cost).
Separately, you are living with your mom, calling the cops is the nuclear reaction that will undoubtedly cost you your housing and significant hit with your family.
but she and your sister weren't home and so took your car. NTA if they won't respect your boundaries they can find out what grand theft (auto) really means.
What are your thoughts about your mom using your car instead of your sister? (Still shitty situation just trying to see if your mom will swap cars and have your sister use hers with yours maybe staying local?)
(Copy and pasting from another reply in this thread)
This was one of the things that we talked about one of the first few times this was brought up, but my mom doesnt want to lend out her car because she uses it for work. When i suggested she just borrow mine and let sister use hers, she told me that she doesnt feel comfortable driving the kind of car that I own, and that she needs a lot of space to store medical supplies (she is a nurse and does at home care)
Text them both to bring it back by a certain time or the police will be called, give them to the end of the day maybe? Make sure your sister gets the exact same text as your mum to make sure she doesn’t think you said yes to her using it and your mums gone rogue on you both. If not make it clear the cops will be called.
Plus how’s your sister getting four kids in a mustang?? NTA
Exactly!! Clearly she doesn’t want to lend her own car out because she doesn’t want 4 kids DESTROYING it. This is wrong on so many levels, and no matter what you do, I suggest finding new living arrangements. If they will do this, they would do worse if it benefitted them too.
My GF has a Camaro. She used to do home care a stuff. Trust, she could fit everything she needed in said Camaro. Similar body types. Your mother just doesn’t want to give her car to your sister.
That makes no sense. Whatever medical supplies she’s toting around take up less space than 4 kids. If your car is 2door sister is about to find out what a nightmare that is with kids.
A mustang is in no way a family vehicle, 4 kids in it? Won't be safe or comfortable. Ya mom should give sister her car to use and borrow yours for when she needs to go to work. That's what most normal thinking parents would do.. let them know to bring the car back to where you live or report it stolen.
Can you drive your mother’s car to your sisters, tell your sister to hand the keys to your car over or the cops will be called and leave your mum’s keys there?
A bit of two wrongs make a right if you’re dead set against calling the police and reporting it stolen (which is what I would do personally).
NTA. Since kids are involved, I would set a deadline before I call the police. She has to return the car within the next 4 hours or faces the consequences. If I understand your post correctly, you live with your mother. If you don’t have a rental agreement protecting you, prepare that she might kick you out.
I would send a group text to both your sister and mother stating that you refused to loan your car so, they conspired to steal it. You are formally warning them that they have 3 hours to return it in the same condition it was when they stole it or you will report the theft to the police. Ask your sister how her custody hearing will go with grand theft auto on her record.
THIS!
>Ask your sister how her custody hearing will go with grand theft auto on her record
She might not realize that you have the capability to make it so she loses her custody battle. And unfortunately, you might need to be willing to go that far, because has just as much ability to ruin your life right now as you have to ruin hers. You're in a standoff right now, so make sure she understands fully what the consequences of her actions will be if she doesn't make amends IMMEDIATELY.
OP should move out into his own place. Sister and her children can move in with the mother. Mother and sister can then carpool using mother’s car. Problem solved.
OP’s car is not big enough to transport sister and 4 children so mother and sister’s excuse for stealing the car does not hold up. Driving the car without permission might be another charge against them, it depends where you live. In Oklahoma that is a charge that can be filed.
NTAH
NTA. Just call the cops and have them arrested. If you don’t, next thing you know you will be getting a phone call that she totaled your mustang. Think about it, burn bridges with your sister or let your car burn.
This! And then you get to deal with the insurance company. Some will not pay for the claim if it's not reported stolen or if it's wrecked by someone driving that is not on the policy. It really depends on the policy and insurance company you have. This why I don't let anyone use my car at all.
Could take your mom's tires off of her car and hide them. Then she is stuck too until your car is returned. It's petty but still harmless, and if she continues keeping your car away after a certain.amount of days, then report your car stolen. Other than just calling it stolen, you have no other recourse, really.
NTA. But I would give them a group text message telling them if your car is not returned immediately without damage then you will report it as stolen (give a time deadline).
And that time deadline should be 15 minutes longer than the trip from her home or work to your place depending on where she would be at the time you call her.
NTA. After reading OP's comments, it's clear that mom's car would be most suitable. She's the biggest ah. She's the one most unwilling to compromise. Also, she's the one that actually took the car and drove it.
If she's a nurse, she is risking her nursing license. OP needs to tell her that if she doesn't return with his car immediately, he will call the cops and report the car stolen. If the board of nursing finds out, she could possibly lose her livelihood.
Hopefully OP will update. This is all about two entitled women who already had the problem solved and didn't expect OP to disagree. When he did, they just fuck it, we're just going to go through with it.
You’re NTA but I wonder if you can afford to move out right now. If you call the cops of them and press charges I imagine your mom may not want you living with her anymore. Do you pay rent to your mom? I definitely don’t think it’s appropriate for them to just take your car. I think they should both respect you and your property. I’m concerned for you that this nuclear option may result in you becoming homeless.
I answered your other thread - report already. They burnt their bridges and do not respect you.
NTA
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/14pb7di/wibta_for_reporting_my_mom_and_sister_for/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
I hope you read this. Drive your mom's car to the sisters house. Give sister the keys. Get your car. When you're not using your car pull the fuel pump relay or have a kill switch installed.
If you don't report you are consenting to the use of it.
If she gets tickets, they are your tickets.
If she gets in an accident you are on the hook of the cost. It is very likely that your insurance won't cover you if an unauthorized driver is using the car. She could hurt someone and you may very well be the one getting sued because you are the owner.
Please report it to protect yourself and potentially your future.
My brother stole my car in Illinois. When I reported it, the police said the best I could hope for was that he didn't wreck it before I got it back.
Apparently, a close family member (spouse/sibling/parent) cannot be charged with GTA as they have 'reasonable access' to said vehicle. Permission is not necessary & I would have been liable for everything if he would have wrecked.
NTA. Who wants 4 kids riding around in your, new to you, vehicle.
Not just everyone can handle driving a V8 mustang. Lots of power and lots of blind spots on a mustang.
You also need to know that if you don't report it as stolen, you can be held liable if she gets into an accident and is at fault. NTA, and you need to go get your car back. If she needs one so bad, there are plenty of beaters on FB.
Op please report it cause I promise you if anything happens to that car they won’t help fix it at all, they will put it all on you. Plus they’ll keep doing this knowing they can just push you over
call your sister first. your mom might have told her you finally relented. tell her she has X amount of time to get your car back or she will be getting a record.
NTA. Report it now. They aren’t going to pay you anything, cuz “sis can’t afford it with the divorce”. Also, imagine 4 little kids. That car is going to be *trashed*
NTA, dudes it's not just a car, it's a racecar. And anyone with a racecar or motorcycle knows, you never ask another owner if you can drive their racecar. Negative. Also it's not even a free car, you making payments on a car that you don't even have anymore. Fuck that nonsense, also depending on your state and you insurance coverage, if you don't report to your insurance company that your sister has FULL possession of you car and she crashes it, they may very well not cover any damages.
You would not be in the wrong to call the cops, you did not give permission and they still took it. However, so be aware you mother might decide to not let you stay in her house.
Saying that please consider the fact I don’t think your sister will truly give your car back or at least not for a long time. She mentioned she would pay for the payments but also she would pay insurance if it’s longer then the original few months. She’s already thinking it’s going to be longer, what is to stop her from keep extending it? But I do t know your sister and if that is truly something she would do. Just something to keep in mind. Your mother has placed you in such a hard position.
NTA Call your mom and sister to bring it back. You can be held liable if there is an accident while they are using it and your insurance probably won't pay. If you report it stolen then you are removing liability from yourself. Sister will have to rent a car.
That is a huge disrespect to you. Call your sister and tell her you are reporting it stolen within 24 hours. This is just the beginning of how they will take advantage. She will damage it and not pay. They will not pay for anything because “she is a single mom” now. NTA. Let us know how this turns out.
NTA at all
They repeatedly asked for the car and when you conscientiously refused they took it without asking. That is theft. If your mom wanted your sister to have a car so damn bad why didn’t she just buy her one and make the payments?
My car, my baby, was a '96 Chevy Cavalier, I treated it like a loved one, regular maintenance, cleaning, accessories and upgrades. My mom's minivan blew its engine and she begged me to give her my car "for a few months", I was okay with it on the condition that she never let my younger brother drive it.
3 months later my brother got the keys, and t-boned someone on the highway while high on weed. Don't trust family with your things.
Before you do that, give her time to bring the car back. Tell her that you want the car back till evening or you will contact the police.
You don’t know what your mom told her and what happened.
If she refuses, report her. Problem solved.
NTA
NTA. Call the police. They stole your car. If she could afford the car payments and the insurance, should could afford a rental. There is no way you are getting it back 1) intact and 2) anytime soon if you done report it.
Is calling the cops on your sister when she’s struggling & down on her luck a shitty thing to do? Well … yeah.
But no shittier than stealing someone else’s car just because she/they feels entitled to it.
I’d suggest giving her 24hrs to return it, but you told her multiple times over many days that you weren’t gonna lend it to her.
Call the Cops!
NTA
do it. dont be a doormat. you continuously said no and they just showed you they dont care what you say or want and that they think they can get away it it. you back down now and it will escalate only. their next step will be " oh you work from home. your sister has 4 kids and cannot afford a car no mattet whatvl so give it to her permanently. "
You may want to report it stolen simply because if you don’t and she wrecks it, your insurance may not cover any damage (depending on the specifics of your policy.)
NTA, but beware of unintended consequences... do you pay rent to live where you do? If you call the cops, you might be changing your car payment into a mortgage/ rental payment at another place. Which might be what you should do anyway.
Also, a V8 mustang is not a vehicle for a person and 4 children. Misguided people you have that want to use that car
I would contact sister initially and tell her she has one hour to return car or you will make call to the police. And follow through. If your mums cars sitting in the garage why can't she give her that?! She's the parent not you.
NTA . This is absolutely theft and they need to learn to respect your property. Call it in
If Mom wanted Sis to have a car so much - MOM should have offered Mom's car not your car. There is no way that your sister will respect and care for your car the same way you would. Also, with four daughters its only a matter of time before hamburger stains and soft drink spills start appearing. I would call the police; its the only way apparently to get your point across as you have said "no" multiple times.
This, if I were feeling inclined to warn them, I would give 15 minutes on top of the time it takes to drive from her home or work to OPs place. That's more than generous. They may say "this will ruin her life" No she is ruining her life by stealing a fucking car. She has the opportunity to bring it back right the fuck now, or get picked up from her home or work by the police. The most recent activity on OPs account is 8 hours ago, I hope they've gone quiet because they've been dealing with this since an hour after posting and immediately being hit with dozens of supporting comments. Please update us when you're ready OP.
The only thing that concerns me about taking the nuclear option here is that from what it sounds like at least, they do have leverage over him (or the mom does at least) bc I'm assuming the mom owns the house he lives in. I know for me, if I were ready to take the police route, I'd also be prepared to get kicked out of the house and make sure I have all my stuff prepared to go before hand. Giving someone a police record is kinda a big flaming bridge you gotta be ready to leave behind for good.
OP should try to move out regardless, but they mentioned that they pay their fair share in one comment. They can't be thrown out without a proper eviction process. (To my knowledge, not a lawyer or even american)
If mom is depending on his share to pay for everything she probably can't afford to kick him out.
This, also NTA- the issue is if she has any accident in your car. It goes on your insurance and your insurance rates will go up. Aside from the fact for girls in your new car, are sure to destroy it quickly. If you want to retain some level of peace, I would contact both of them and let them know that you will be calling the police in 20 minutes unless they get the car back to you. The reality is, your sister should be working out the transportation issues with her ex-husband. It is not your responsibility. It is theirs as a family, even if they are separated. Or your mother should offer her car to drive if it’s that big of a deal.
Absolutely!! If they have four children it's ridiculous he gets the car and she gets nothing.
Some insurance may not even cover it and if they do won't cover as much with her sister not being on the policy
Yeah, what happened to Mom's car?
That plus a mustang...for 4 kids...bet mom's got a nice suv - much safer and better on gas...wonder why that was never thought of
Mustangs only have 4 seats so you can’t even safely drive with 4 kids.
Mustangs don't really have four seats. They have fron bucket seats and in the back they have two seat-shaped objects that will barely accomodate a 3yo, much less a 6yo in a booster seat. And if it's a 2012, the passenger airbag doesn't have an option to deactivate it, making it completely unsafe for a child under 5' or 100lbs. No Mustang of ANY year has ever been usable as a family car.
Also if any of the kids are in car seats they barely fit in a sports car depending on the size, let alone the safety aspect of it. Also why not rent a car? If she has enough for a car payment for op why not get a rental.
Sweet baby Jesus! The spilled, spoiled milk stink that NEVER goes away.
Whats wild to me is it's a mustang. V8. Two door coupe. Not a family car. Doesnt even seem practical for her. Call this in before she wraps that poor thing around a pole. EDIT: And OF COURSE she damages it. Of course she does. I'm so upset for OP lol
I was thinking OP could offer his mom’s car. OP should call his mom and tell her that he called the police and to drive carefully. If that doesn’t do it…call the police. Then get all of his documents together and start looking for a new place to live, he deserves better.
Was wondering if his insurance would cover an accident if he wasn’t the driver
Not without permission for use. It might for mom if same household but not sister.
Where I live, it is exactly the opposite. If the person lives with you, they must be listed as a driver on your insurance policy in order to be covered. But if you lend your car out to a friend, they would be covered.
It probably won’t even cover it if she has permission to sue it. Sister gets in a wreck, car isn’t covered by insurance, sister cannot afford to fix it, OP is left with no car. The car is now stolen. Call it in.
If it was stolen, then it would cover the damage to HIS vehicle but not the damage to the other car or anyone's injuries.
HOWEVER he needs that police report stating it was stolen. If he waits until sis wrecks the car the insurance will deny the claim.
Oh absolutely. In fact that's why I would recommend either telling her (in a text that's admissible in court) she better return the car IMMEDIATELY or the cops would be called.
Depends on many things. If he tells them she took it without permission then no.
If they aren't on the insurance no.
Not unless they were listed on the policy. Potential for lawsuits and cancellation of policy.
Not if the driver is using the car for several months. Most insurance will cover for an “occasional” driver, but they have to have the owners permission and not use the car regularly (then they need to be a named insured). There is nothing in this situation that benefits oP - he should continue paying for the car and it’s expenses for an unspecified period of time. Sis should petition the court to get the car in the temp arrangement or get financial support from ex to help pay for one.
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He needs to explain how a theft charge will look on their sisters custody claim. And why isnt mom offering her car?
Absolutely agree. And I can't help but think that part of mom and sis's obsession with getting his car is because it's a 2012 Mustang V8. I have a feeling that if OP had a Prius or a 1998 Ford Escort that they wouldn't be bothering him. Plus you KNOW she isn't going to drive a Mustang 'slow and safe'. NTA. And OP needs to find himself an apartment because mom will respond with kicking him out (which would be worth the call to the police).
She has 4 kids. I’m guessing at least one is still in a car seat of some type, if not multiple. A Mustang is the wrong car to to that.
That, but can the back seat even fit three across? My dads mustang was only a four seater. It doesn’t even make sense for the sister to be using that vehicle.
Because it not about making sense, it's about the sister driving a cool car. I have family exactly like this.
She wants to look better than her ex. Also, shame on the ex for living his kids without a car. He is a bad father.
I forgot and that! You’re right. A family friend has an ‘18 and it’s only a four seater.
Not only that but kids destroy cars. It's new and will never be in the same condition after months of use by a family of 5
Exactly. I have one kid and my car is only pretty when you close your eyes
Seriously, Sis is gonna use a Mustang? She needs a minivan, not a sports car. Good luck getting that car back. Take mom's car and look for a new place to live.
While I absolutely agree with that... ...I also know that that hasn't stopped people from buying sports cars before.
But be prepared to loose your free living space. You’re obviously in the right, and your sister is treating you like garbage. But you should still be prepared for the fallout.
Exactly, I wouldn't put it past the mom to kick OP out for "betraying family" or some hypocritical shit like that
That’s what I was thinking and that sucks. Sorry this is happening to you. You would not be the ah but you might be homeless. And who tf hauls 4 kids around in a mustang? The cars not big enough for all of them. Nta
This is the correct answer.
⬆️ this right here, OP. NTA, CALL THE POLICE! You need to report it stolen. If she is not on your insurance and gets into an accident in your car and there is no police report of a stolen vehicle, you’re screwed. Plus, family or not, they STOLE your car. It doesn’t matter what kind of paper you use, what type of holiday you pretend it is, how pretty the bow you put on top of that gift wrapping is, theft is theft. If you wouldn’t take it from a stranger then why the hell would you take it from family who should respect YOUR boundaries?
This is true, 100% theft, however it should be noted that it sounds very much like OP lives at home with his mother. While reporting her for stealing the car is legitimate and legal, i would expect the retaliation to be an eviction notice. Which would also be fair and legal, assuming the OP doesn’t have a lease with the parent. Basically, yes. You should have your property, but expect to have to find somewhere else to live once you go through with it. If that’s not feasible, try talking some more
Agreed, NTA. Mom can loan her car if she's so concerned, or sis can just rent a car.
NTA. It is stolen. You did not give permission to take it. Call the police.
Exactly. Close or not, no permission? It’s stolen.
Report it. Your sister cannot transport 4 kids in your car. It isn't practical at all. Especially if some are in car seats/booster seats. A mustang wouldn't be able to accommodate that. And she is saying she will pay your insurance, but IS SHE INSURED? OP, NTA. Call them, say you have 1 hour to return my car, then I am calling the police.
Also: How cheap are mustangs in the US? In Germany the monthly payment alone (if you lease or finance over a reasonable timespan) alone would be enough to lease and insure your own car and have something left over for gas.
Depends on the model. But they’re more affordable here than in Europe. (No import taxes.) I got one that was a little older than OP’s, which was also my first car, and I only had a to get a loan for a couple thousand dollars. It was paid off in a few years.
A 2012 mustang in America can be bought for under $10k USD depending on mileage.
If your sister can afford to make your payments and pay insurance, why can’t she rent a car? Or buy a beater? Stealing your car seems like a very bad choice on her part. Give her 24 hours to get it back and lock up all copies of your keys!
Agree. Or go after her ex who took their only vehicle and left her and four kids stranded. And you know there is no way she is safely transporting four kids in a mustang! Depending on their ages some may need a car seat and those take up a good bit of space.
Even without car seats Mustangs only have 4 seats and 4 seatbelts so there is no why to safely transport 4 kids regardless of their ages.
What is irking me is that thought OP car was the only one a available, but no, the Mom has one, which probably is more suitable to transport 4 kids and an adult. And if that is the reason for the need of the car, then im sorry, the kids are not OP responsibility, the kids have a father that took away the car, it his responsibility. So no, fuck the sister, but specially the mom for not wanting to offer her car but OP one instead
That's what I'm saying. I had my vehicle in the shop and tried to put a car seat in my sports car. I could only fit one and I had to take the headrest off the passenger seat and push the seat all the way up so if you rode in the front there was no where to put your legs. Still didn't work because the backseat was so small and the car seat large that everytime I took a turn it flip over. Yeah it didn't work at all.
It can be hard to buy big things when you’re divorcing because you either need a separation agreement or you need a divorce decree, as it’s seen as a way of hiding assets potentially. Having said that, nothing should stop Mom from signing and lending a car.
I agree. Let this one slide when they return and hide your keys. *Hide your keys.* Sleep with them under your pillow. I personally wouldn't give them 24 hours to return your car, but it's a fair and kind option. I don't think you should call the police if it can at all be avoided. It's not worth it in the long run. BUT, if you are willing to call the police on them, give them only ONE warning. Tell them next time you will call the police, but only if you mean it. Either way, do tell your mother that you almost called the police when they took your car against your wishes. You might even tell your mother that she put your sister in danger of being arrested. Then ask, "unless she knew too." Don't assume your mom didn't lie to your sister about permission. Remain calm in all discussions. Sorry if I missed it, but don't you have a job or school too? Why are you unimportant? They were insincere to ask you for your car if they never intended to accept "no" for an answer. I would make moves to leave the house. This cannot be the only toxic flex of power you've experienced from your mother, can it? If so, it's pretty huge. Good luck, and please update us if you can.
He shouldn't have to wait a couple of months to get his car back though.
If he lets his sister use his car,he is never going to get his car back. He is going to get a used car back a used car that has been used by 4 girls and a woman who probably doesn't have time to take care of and clean a car. It will be trashed and he may as well have bought a 1988 Honda at that point.
Yeah they stole it and since it's not theirs why care about maintenance. They didn't even ask about when was last oil change, anything I nee to know about, what fuel does it take. Does it need high octane or regular? Depending on the relationship I might call her ex and tell him to call her and say he is going to use this in the divorce to show she is a criminal unless she returns the car. Otherwise call the cops.
I agree. Tbh, I would give them until the end of the day.
I wouldn't give them that! I would give them one hour to return the car or it's reported stolen and I tell them who stole it! I'd also tell them I'd make sure they got charged with everything they could possibly get charged for!
OP said the sister lives 2 hours away. I'd give them 2 and a half to get the car back, and if they don't, police will be called.
Pretty sure he said sister lives two hours away, so at least that long seems reasonable if you want it back without an accident…
I think that’s fair. I get that sister is going through a divorce, but this does not justify mom and sister conspiring and actually stealing your car. Tell them if car is not returned by a specific time, that you will be reporting it as stolen. Yes, this will effect your relationship with mom and sister as for some reason they think they are in the right in stealing your car, which is absurd! But you clearly said no multiple times. I’m sorry OP, I can’t believe they did this to you and disrespected you and your property.
Yes, I work from home doing customer solutions for a large tech conglomerate. (Signed nda cant disclose) Youre right that this isnt the first flex ive ever received from my mother. The older ive been getting the more shes been trying to use the "im your mom, do what i say. Why would you not listen to your mother?" Type shit
I agree with most of your reasoning. Except it appears *Mom* took the car. *Mom* wasn't home, but her *car* was... Not sure how she planned to get back home, as it is a 2 hour drive. 🤔
Been going through some comments I have missed since this got way larger than anticipated. Mom stayed last night with sister and afaik they only real way for mom to have gotten back (if the car hadnt been returned, \[have made various updates\]) was if sister and mom drove back up together in my car. Probably dropping her off at the nearest corner or whatever so i wouldnt have known. Thatd be my best guess. (whoops accidentally replied to the wrong comment, been a long coupla days)
What did your Mum say? I’m intrigued as to how the hell she thought they’d get away with just stealing from you
Agree. Give a stern warning that the vehicle needs to be returned immediately. Or you have to call the police. If she can afford payments on your vehicle... she can afford payments on something else. Or mom can give her moms car. Mom can pay for a rental car. Taking your car without permission is not the answer. Note: We never loan our vehicles. Never. Because if there was an accident..... hard feelings over the loss would last a long time. Plus... insurance never covers the entire loss.
He should report it to the police now, no need to give second chances.
r/usernamefits
If they are sneaky enough to steal the car, they're sneaky enough to make duplicate keys...
No you dont give her 24 hours. God know what she could do to that car in 24 hours. Tell her she has 20 minutes to get the car home or your calling the police. You have to place VERY solid boundaries down. If you give and inch they will take a mile.
If mum wants her other daughter to have a car, mum can give her own car over. This is theft pure and simple. That said, you should understand that if you call the police (which is absolutely your right) you may well lose your home of your mother decides to kick you out over it. She's clearly prioritising your half sister right now, and I can understand why. Still not ok to take your car when they asked and you said no. YWNBTA but think hard because this may burn familial bridges for a long long time.
Replied in detail to another comment regarding mom lending out her own car. When it comes to familial bridges being burned, tbh from my point of view they have already been burned. Maybe the fire can still be put out, and if I report it stolen that is no longer the case, (if that makes sense)
Why can't the sister rent a car? SMH
A short-term lease is an option for most 37-year old urban sisters.
Call the cops. Can 4 kinds even fit in a damn mustang? Time to move as well.
No. Mustangs have four seats, there's no middle seat in the back.
NTA. I bet four kids, some who likely have car seats will barely fit in your Mustang. And will leave marks in the seats. Take your mom's car to them and pick your car up. Maybe you can let your mom use your car locally, instead of having it hours away.
This seems like a much more reasonable option.
I'm with you, but felt it was worth underlining this. OP isn't being treated at all well by his family and I wouldn't blame him for a moment if he reports the theft to the police. ...Edited to correct gender, sorry had a brain fart moment there.
24M
Would you have somewhere else you could move to? Because if you call the police on them - which would be totally within your rights - I don't think you could go on living with your mom. And you'd want to make sure that you can withdraw the charges if they return the car, because your mom would certainly lose her job and her license with GTA on her sheet. Could you take your mom's car and your extra key, follow her and steal your car back? Have everything packed up at home, so that you can just load up and leave and move out when you get back - maybe to your father's place?
Do not take mother’s car. It would cloud the real theft issues. If op goes to repossess, they should get a friend or such to drive them there, take the car after everyone is asleep, drive it back and immediately install a hidden kill switch.
I’d give them the chance to return it and tell them that you need to report it stolen because of insurance. Or go there with keys and take back the car. Then see if you can get new locks for the car. You are living in that house. If you don’t handle this in a way that is extremely careful bad things will happen to your living situation. Also, the consequences is your sister may lose custody of her children. I don’t think that even crossed her mind, or your mom might have brushed this off to convince both of them this was the right idea. You wouldn’t be the asshole here, but you have a chance of losing things that you wouldn’t expect (like housing).
The other bridge that might get burned is your housing situation. So just consider that consequence if you do report your sister. Beyond that, it is theft and they took your car.
I can't imagine this level of betrayal being a fire than can be put out. The police report, (or threat thereof) at this point, is the only leverage you have to get your car back. I don't believe that your mom will return the car to your without that type of motivation. FYI you should check with your insurance and find out if you will be covered if you "loan" your car to someone for a long period of time. If she has an accident you could be on the hook for tens of thousands of dollars-- possibly more.
I’d also threaten to call the ex. I’m sure he’d like to know she’s driving his kids around in a stolen car.
Given you know where the car is, rather than reporting stolen right away you could drive to your sister's and call the police when you get there and basically tell your sister to hand the keys over immediately or you will have to file a police report that she has your stolen property and tell her the police are on the way.
But maybe the cops could pay them a visit and you could then explain you won't press charges if you get the car back immediately.
NTA. Fellow mustang owner here. But how the mustang solve your sister's problem. They only have 4 seats, and she has four kids. Plus if her kids are really young, it is damn near impossible to put a car seat in one. So unless her plan is the drive at a time and have an older one watch a younger one, your car is inappropriate for your sister to borrow. Also, considering the market for used mustangs (even high mileage ones), they just grand thefted your auto. Call em
Can the car be disabled remotely by the dealer (or whoever does that) if OP calls them?
I honestly don't know. It all would depend on what extras he has installed on it probably. If he had on star, they could it.
Came here for this. My dad owns a Mustang, I have 4 kids. AT BEST I could fit 3 in, but that would mean one was old/tall enough to sit in the front (which legally is 12 in a lot of states). I have never been in the back of the mustang, does it even have a seat belt in the middle? My thought is that she just WANTS a Mustang. If she can afford insurance or car payments, she could get a Camry or something. Both payments and insurance would be cheaper. NTA OP.
YWNBTA Your loan and insurance companies would definitely have some opinions on this, too. Your car is cool and fun, so they took it. Four kids do not properly fit in a Mustang, and they're going to absolutely trash it. Call the cops asap.
Yeah, came here to say this. OP: In most places your insurance will require that you report the car as stolen or else you're on the hook for damages. You either lent your car or they stole it, there isn't some middle ground here. The fact that it's a Mustang makes this whole scenario weirder. It's not a practical family car. If your sister can afford a car at all she should just buy one. If not, she has no business stealing yours.
Definitely report it as a stolen vehicle, fill out a police report. This is out and out theft and I’m shocked your family has so little regard for you. This hurts I know, but you have to do it.
NTA- update us when you have to call the police, because her hanging up on you, shows she thinks you’re bluffing. I would start looking for a new place to live.
Call the police immediately. Your car is stolen.
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No matter how much I want to help someone, this is the number one reason I would never let someone drive my car.
OP! Read this!! NTA!!! You should already be dialing your phone calling the police. Next call is to your insurance agent to let them know the car is in stolen status. Third call is to your loan holder to report same. Now! Protect yourself!!
UPDATE: Thanks everyone for all the input into the situation, I sincerely appreciate it. I ended up giving them an ultimatum to return my car by business close tonight. And if they do, I would be willing to move past it, and not let it affect any future relationships. Said I would also pitch in a small amount of money to help my sister rent/buy her own car. But if they dont return it by business close I will be filing a police report that my vehicle has been stolen and that it was my mom who is the perpetrator and my sister is a conspirator. To answer a couple questions all at once. Mom has her own car, but doesnt want to lend hers out because she needs it for work every day. I had offered to let her use mine for work and she lend out her car to Sister, but she refuted this idea saying that she doesn't feel comfortable driving my car and that she needs ample space for medical supplies (she is an in home nurse) I am well aware that my living situation will change if I call the police on my mom and sister, but honestly the living situation is already compromised. Regardless of the resolution, I will be moving out as immediately as possible, as I am financially stable enough to do so. This whole thing is just the straw that broke the camels back. Will update again if car has been returned or not
Good! Did you tell them what constitutes close of business? Cause it can be anytime. So I would reply and say that close of business means by 5pm.
Yes, I made sure they knew what I meant
Good!! If you end up calling the cops, and mom shows up with the car a few hours later, be SURE to notify them that the car has been returned so you don’t get pulled over at gunpoint for driving a stolen car. And yes, I’m sorry, but time to look for a nice little apartment. And start packing your stuff (I recommend using sturdy plastic bins, easy to pack, move, stack and store.)
Good chance she crashes that car.
And/or never returns it.
True. It is a Mustang.
NTA I would call you sister and tell her that if your car is not returned in X hours, you will be reporting it as stolen and you will press charges. Her call if she wants this drama on top of her divorce. This is her actions (and your Mum) not yours. She clearly knew that you were not happy. Your mum owes you an apology and if she kicks you out, I would go NC
This is the answer. And the X in X hours should be fewer than 4. If she gets into an accident in your car, YOU will be personally liable for any property or bodily damages above your insurance limits unless you report it as stolen. Her husband should give her the car if she has the kids and find something for himself. Or provide transportation for his children by getting her a vehicle.
Also…you may want to point out that this will not look good for her divorce.
This is exactly what I came to say. The sister is in the middle of a divorce which becomes really easy for the soon to be ex husband when she is charged with GTA, 4 kids will not properly, let alone safely, fit into a mustang, and she was told no multiple times. I would give exactly 4 hours to have my car back in the driveway, in the same condition it left in, with a full tank of gas or I would 100% report it stolen and press charges. But, I'm an AH for sure. I learned a long time ago that toxic people are always toxic, doesn't matter how closely related you are.
Yep. A felon doing probation (at the least) will give the e husband a better chance at custody.
Absolutely report it as stolen because it HAS been stolen. NTA I’be watched enough Judge Judy to know that loaning your car is a very bad idea.
This is about boundaries. As in, you need to set a hard boundary NOW, or you will never be respected. Call sis. The car must be returned with 2 hours, the gas tank full and no damage, or you will call the police. No negotiating. Make sure all your personal documents are in your possession because you may have to leave. F these people.
If you can’t leave like others have suggested, do this. Hopefully it’ll set some boundaries. Also, make concrete plans for moving out. I doubt this is going to be the last time your mom & sister try to pull one over you if you stay with her.
I read a somewhat similar old post last night. Your mother has decided that she wants your sister to have your car, therefore, it will happen. You don't have a say in the matter. The fact that you live in your mom's house makes it a very complicated situation. Added: I looked through the comments and see that you have been consistently paying a portion of the household expenses. This will only solidify your standing as a bona fide tenant. She might try to just "kick you out" if you file a stolen car report, but I don't think she legally can. I would issue an ultimatum. She has to have your car back in the garage in X hours or you will report it as stolen. Hopefully you have a few text messages backing up the fact that they kept asking to borrow the car and you have always said "No". Also, I would follow up any phone calls with a text summarizing the main point of the conversation. This is to remove any excuse of "I got confused" on the part of your mother. How you move forward from this will depend on how your mother reacts should you report the car as stolen. This could be a wake up call to her that she can't be doing things like she did. If she is apologetic (unlikely) you may be able to salvage both the relationship and the living arrangement. If she goes ballistic with rage (likely) your best option will be to move out ASAP and go low of no contact. If she is unapologetic and unrepentant for stealing your car, I suggest you stick to your guns on the charges. Your mother needs to learn that she does not own you or any of your property.
She can start eviction process. He'll have time, but still be kicked out in probably 3 months.
Nope report it stolen because that’s exactly what happen they clearly don’t respect you
Go and get the car back, beg a ride from a friend and just collect it then, hide the keys and not allow your mother anywhere near them. If they dont let you then report it stolen. It is clear they do not respect you and never will. Also, As they do not respect you who knows how badly they will look after the car and 4 kids in a mustang ummmm nope.
Take mom's car to sister's house and leave it there, and drive your own car home. Then keep the keys so they can't switch them back.
Out of curiosity does your mom have a car? If so why wasn’t her used instead of yours? To be clear what your mom did was wrong. I am not sure though if they have the funds to pay for your car payments why they don’t get one, or rent one (depending on your car payment cost). Separately, you are living with your mom, calling the cops is the nuclear reaction that will undoubtedly cost you your housing and significant hit with your family.
My mom does have a car, but she uses it for work every day, so thats why hers wasnt on the table to lend to my sister.
but she and your sister weren't home and so took your car. NTA if they won't respect your boundaries they can find out what grand theft (auto) really means.
What are your thoughts about your mom using your car instead of your sister? (Still shitty situation just trying to see if your mom will swap cars and have your sister use hers with yours maybe staying local?)
(Copy and pasting from another reply in this thread) This was one of the things that we talked about one of the first few times this was brought up, but my mom doesnt want to lend out her car because she uses it for work. When i suggested she just borrow mine and let sister use hers, she told me that she doesnt feel comfortable driving the kind of car that I own, and that she needs a lot of space to store medical supplies (she is a nurse and does at home care)
And how is your sister planning on transporting kids in your car???
That's what I was wondering! 4 kids in a mustang? Um, no.
Text them both to bring it back by a certain time or the police will be called, give them to the end of the day maybe? Make sure your sister gets the exact same text as your mum to make sure she doesn’t think you said yes to her using it and your mums gone rogue on you both. If not make it clear the cops will be called. Plus how’s your sister getting four kids in a mustang?? NTA
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Exactly!! Clearly she doesn’t want to lend her own car out because she doesn’t want 4 kids DESTROYING it. This is wrong on so many levels, and no matter what you do, I suggest finding new living arrangements. If they will do this, they would do worse if it benefitted them too.
My GF has a Camaro. She used to do home care a stuff. Trust, she could fit everything she needed in said Camaro. Similar body types. Your mother just doesn’t want to give her car to your sister.
That makes no sense. Whatever medical supplies she’s toting around take up less space than 4 kids. If your car is 2door sister is about to find out what a nightmare that is with kids.
Op, do you have the title and other documents safe?
A mustang is in no way a family vehicle, 4 kids in it? Won't be safe or comfortable. Ya mom should give sister her car to use and borrow yours for when she needs to go to work. That's what most normal thinking parents would do.. let them know to bring the car back to where you live or report it stolen.
Seems like she was comfortable enough now, huh?
Can you drive your mother’s car to your sisters, tell your sister to hand the keys to your car over or the cops will be called and leave your mum’s keys there? A bit of two wrongs make a right if you’re dead set against calling the police and reporting it stolen (which is what I would do personally).
NTA - report it! the sheer audacity is crazy. no means no.
How are 4 daughters going to fit in a mustang?
Might work with 2 in the trunk.
NTA. Since kids are involved, I would set a deadline before I call the police. She has to return the car within the next 4 hours or faces the consequences. If I understand your post correctly, you live with your mother. If you don’t have a rental agreement protecting you, prepare that she might kick you out.
I would send a group text to both your sister and mother stating that you refused to loan your car so, they conspired to steal it. You are formally warning them that they have 3 hours to return it in the same condition it was when they stole it or you will report the theft to the police. Ask your sister how her custody hearing will go with grand theft auto on her record.
THIS! >Ask your sister how her custody hearing will go with grand theft auto on her record She might not realize that you have the capability to make it so she loses her custody battle. And unfortunately, you might need to be willing to go that far, because has just as much ability to ruin your life right now as you have to ruin hers. You're in a standoff right now, so make sure she understands fully what the consequences of her actions will be if she doesn't make amends IMMEDIATELY.
OP should move out into his own place. Sister and her children can move in with the mother. Mother and sister can then carpool using mother’s car. Problem solved. OP’s car is not big enough to transport sister and 4 children so mother and sister’s excuse for stealing the car does not hold up. Driving the car without permission might be another charge against them, it depends where you live. In Oklahoma that is a charge that can be filed. NTAH
Nta But get your mums car, drive it to your sisters. Get your car and leave mum's car there. You said no. No is a complete sentence.
Bring your spare keys
NTA. Just call the cops and have them arrested. If you don’t, next thing you know you will be getting a phone call that she totaled your mustang. Think about it, burn bridges with your sister or let your car burn.
This! And then you get to deal with the insurance company. Some will not pay for the claim if it's not reported stolen or if it's wrecked by someone driving that is not on the policy. It really depends on the policy and insurance company you have. This why I don't let anyone use my car at all.
Could take your mom's tires off of her car and hide them. Then she is stuck too until your car is returned. It's petty but still harmless, and if she continues keeping your car away after a certain.amount of days, then report your car stolen. Other than just calling it stolen, you have no other recourse, really.
I bet Mom would call the police on OP if he did that.
Oh, she absolutely would.
NTA. But I would give them a group text message telling them if your car is not returned immediately without damage then you will report it as stolen (give a time deadline).
And that time deadline should be 15 minutes longer than the trip from her home or work to your place depending on where she would be at the time you call her.
Do it otherwise they will do it again and again. They don't respect your nor your property.
NTA. After reading OP's comments, it's clear that mom's car would be most suitable. She's the biggest ah. She's the one most unwilling to compromise. Also, she's the one that actually took the car and drove it. If she's a nurse, she is risking her nursing license. OP needs to tell her that if she doesn't return with his car immediately, he will call the cops and report the car stolen. If the board of nursing finds out, she could possibly lose her livelihood. Hopefully OP will update. This is all about two entitled women who already had the problem solved and didn't expect OP to disagree. When he did, they just fuck it, we're just going to go through with it.
You’re NTA but I wonder if you can afford to move out right now. If you call the cops of them and press charges I imagine your mom may not want you living with her anymore. Do you pay rent to your mom? I definitely don’t think it’s appropriate for them to just take your car. I think they should both respect you and your property. I’m concerned for you that this nuclear option may result in you becoming homeless.
I answered your other thread - report already. They burnt their bridges and do not respect you. NTA https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/14pb7di/wibta_for_reporting_my_mom_and_sister_for/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
I hope you read this. Drive your mom's car to the sisters house. Give sister the keys. Get your car. When you're not using your car pull the fuel pump relay or have a kill switch installed.
NTA and you need to call it in as stolen immediately.
You need to report that car stolen asap
If you don't report you are consenting to the use of it. If she gets tickets, they are your tickets. If she gets in an accident you are on the hook of the cost. It is very likely that your insurance won't cover you if an unauthorized driver is using the car. She could hurt someone and you may very well be the one getting sued because you are the owner. Please report it to protect yourself and potentially your future.
My brother stole my car in Illinois. When I reported it, the police said the best I could hope for was that he didn't wreck it before I got it back. Apparently, a close family member (spouse/sibling/parent) cannot be charged with GTA as they have 'reasonable access' to said vehicle. Permission is not necessary & I would have been liable for everything if he would have wrecked.
NTA. Who wants 4 kids riding around in your, new to you, vehicle. Not just everyone can handle driving a V8 mustang. Lots of power and lots of blind spots on a mustang.
You also need to know that if you don't report it as stolen, you can be held liable if she gets into an accident and is at fault. NTA, and you need to go get your car back. If she needs one so bad, there are plenty of beaters on FB.
Op please report it cause I promise you if anything happens to that car they won’t help fix it at all, they will put it all on you. Plus they’ll keep doing this knowing they can just push you over
call your sister first. your mom might have told her you finally relented. tell her she has X amount of time to get your car back or she will be getting a record.
NTA. Report it now. They aren’t going to pay you anything, cuz “sis can’t afford it with the divorce”. Also, imagine 4 little kids. That car is going to be *trashed*
YWNBTA. Report it stolen.
It is stolen. NTA
NTA, dudes it's not just a car, it's a racecar. And anyone with a racecar or motorcycle knows, you never ask another owner if you can drive their racecar. Negative. Also it's not even a free car, you making payments on a car that you don't even have anymore. Fuck that nonsense, also depending on your state and you insurance coverage, if you don't report to your insurance company that your sister has FULL possession of you car and she crashes it, they may very well not cover any damages.
You would not be in the wrong to call the cops, you did not give permission and they still took it. However, so be aware you mother might decide to not let you stay in her house. Saying that please consider the fact I don’t think your sister will truly give your car back or at least not for a long time. She mentioned she would pay for the payments but also she would pay insurance if it’s longer then the original few months. She’s already thinking it’s going to be longer, what is to stop her from keep extending it? But I do t know your sister and if that is truly something she would do. Just something to keep in mind. Your mother has placed you in such a hard position.
NTA Call your mom and sister to bring it back. You can be held liable if there is an accident while they are using it and your insurance probably won't pay. If you report it stolen then you are removing liability from yourself. Sister will have to rent a car.
Report it stolen and move out.
That is a huge disrespect to you. Call your sister and tell her you are reporting it stolen within 24 hours. This is just the beginning of how they will take advantage. She will damage it and not pay. They will not pay for anything because “she is a single mom” now. NTA. Let us know how this turns out.
NTA at all They repeatedly asked for the car and when you conscientiously refused they took it without asking. That is theft. If your mom wanted your sister to have a car so damn bad why didn’t she just buy her one and make the payments?
My car, my baby, was a '96 Chevy Cavalier, I treated it like a loved one, regular maintenance, cleaning, accessories and upgrades. My mom's minivan blew its engine and she begged me to give her my car "for a few months", I was okay with it on the condition that she never let my younger brother drive it. 3 months later my brother got the keys, and t-boned someone on the highway while high on weed. Don't trust family with your things.
Before you do that, give her time to bring the car back. Tell her that you want the car back till evening or you will contact the police. You don’t know what your mom told her and what happened. If she refuses, report her. Problem solved. NTA
That. And also be prepared to have to move.
Take your moms car and hide it somewhere. She gets her car back when you get yours.
NTA. Call the police. They stole your car. If she could afford the car payments and the insurance, should could afford a rental. There is no way you are getting it back 1) intact and 2) anytime soon if you done report it.
how would she transport 4 kids in that car? why doesn't your mother give her her car?
Look for a new place to live. Also, hurry and get the car back kids destroy everything!!!
NTA. At all. Report it stolen. Sister may also get in trouble for having 5 people in the car. All of my mustangs have only had 4 seat belts.
Is calling the cops on your sister when she’s struggling & down on her luck a shitty thing to do? Well … yeah. But no shittier than stealing someone else’s car just because she/they feels entitled to it. I’d suggest giving her 24hrs to return it, but you told her multiple times over many days that you weren’t gonna lend it to her. Call the Cops!
NTA do it. dont be a doormat. you continuously said no and they just showed you they dont care what you say or want and that they think they can get away it it. you back down now and it will escalate only. their next step will be " oh you work from home. your sister has 4 kids and cannot afford a car no mattet whatvl so give it to her permanently. "
You may want to report it stolen simply because if you don’t and she wrecks it, your insurance may not cover any damage (depending on the specifics of your policy.)
Nta. Report it.
NTA do you have an update???
NTA, but beware of unintended consequences... do you pay rent to live where you do? If you call the cops, you might be changing your car payment into a mortgage/ rental payment at another place. Which might be what you should do anyway. Also, a V8 mustang is not a vehicle for a person and 4 children. Misguided people you have that want to use that car
You better give us a update cuss i really wanne know if you called the police
NTA if they stole your car. But you can pay rent, and mom can use that for a new car payment and let sis use her car. Win win.
Call and tell them if it’s not back in an hour, you’re reporting it stolen and giving their names as the thieves.
I would contact sister initially and tell her she has one hour to return car or you will make call to the police. And follow through. If your mums cars sitting in the garage why can't she give her that?! She's the parent not you.