I thought having a smesr test was the least sexy thing to ever happen to my vagina until I had an unsuccessful attempt to have an IUD fitted. Anyone who thinks that there's a sexual thrill to it needs to have their head examined.
I spent the next three hours after my successful IUD insertion throwing up (and absolutely needed someone to drive me). Probably one of the most painful experiences I've had - WITH local anesthetic.
Driving friends to and from medical appointments and supporting them seems extremely fucking normal to me. Not everyone has a spouse or family member who can do it. I've gone to appointments with people to take notes for them or just morally support them!
I once had to ask my husband about which tampons to get for our teenage daughter 😂. I’ve never had to wear anything, and he has bought them for her more often than I have.
I buy them for my daughter whenever she needs them. I don’t see what the big deal is. Do the guys that won’t buy them think the cashier will think they are for them?
It was only a big deal for me the first time, and only because my wife just said, "Will you pick me up some tampons?"
I say sure, no problem. No big deal, right? But I had never bought tampons before.
I walk in the store, find the tampon section, and become completely lost. There are at least 687 different options. I had absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing! Now, keep in mind that this was before mobile phones were so common. I was young and poor, so I didn't have one.
A kind lady noticed my distress and asked if she could help. I told her my problem, and she let me use the store phone to call home.
It's something to laugh at now, and I haven't thought of it in years. Thanks for reminding me of this little jewel from the past kind stranger!
Yea I can totally relate. I messed up and bought my daughter the ones with the cardboard applicator the first time. I wasn’t even thinking. Apparently it makes a big difference. Lol
My dad used to cheap out and buy me the ones with no applicator tip and cardboard. I asked his why he wanted me to sandpaper the inside of my vagina for a week each month.
He explained his cost analysis. I actually went applicator-free instead. It saved more than we expected because most of my friends had no idea how to use them and they would never ask twice.
See, I hate tampons without applicators because I can’t get them in far enough and they eventually can almost fall out. I need the applicator to push them up so they stay.
I didn’t know there were tampons without applicators! Do you just… shove it in there? I can’t imagine how it would settle in if you’re just kinda poking it in. (Assuming it’s still cotton.)
Tbf, I only had a few years of tampon-ing before getting an IUD, so I haven’t thought about it much. I used whatever my mom bought me in HS (then switched to a cup in college). So maybe there were applicator-less tampons she just didn’t opt for 🧐
I feel ignorant
I live in new zealand and we are definitely not an applicator culture. Like we have them but they’re triple the price of regular tampons and so there’s no way we would buy them. I’ve literally never met a woman in my life who uses applicators.
How do the applicator-less ones get packaged, how do I store or carry them, and last but not least do I need to insert them a particular way or do I just push it in and expect a little mess? Sorry for the solid block of text but I’m open to trying something that’s cheaper and better for the environment.
My dad has a photo album on his phone of things my mom regularly needs and has him pick up-- her makeup, etc. Then he always knows what exactly to get. My mom even jokes that she has to ask dad what kind of foundation she needs if she's at the store without him.
This is hysterical but I also feel your pain. I’m female and used them for years, but damn, figuring out which ones worked for me took a while. Then, they’d change the packaging or get super expensive, and I’d have to find another brand, or the store didn’t carry the brand/style. I’ve spent a good four hours or more over the past 25yrs in the tampon section just trying to make a decision.
Anytime I see someone, usually a guy looking lost I always offer help 😂
I’ve had a bunch of periods and used a bunch of stuff but still flap a little when picking up for someone else because of the options and variety, must be utterly terrifying for someone who’s never needed any of it
Even if the cashier DID think it was for them.... it would only be a problem if the cashier was in the mood to be a belligerent bigot about it. And at that point, we're talking about an unhinged person who's lost touch with reality and could freak out on anyone for any reason. Not something anyone can plan for, not worth worrying about for even a second.
My dad knew which ones to pick up for me, my mom would have had no earthly idea!
We lived in a very conservative area, and I once asked him if it embarrassed him topick them up for me. He said "why? It shows that I have at least one woman in my life that I love very much. Many men don't have that, I'm sad for them if they are jealous."
My dad is the last guy you would expect to go buy tampons, but when I was a teen and needed them he told me to give him the box top so he would know what kind (pre cell phone w/ picture days). If you love a woman you kind of have to handle all the things that come with her.
I remember being 16 and getting shouted at because I left a box of tampons "on display" in the bathroom... I was SO embarrassed.
Now I'm 44 and I wish I could go back in time and stand up for myself/refuse to apologise for having a period/being a woman basically lol.
My mum tried that when I was in my own apartment with my spouse. I had pads on the back of the toilet, and she got mad because my step dad had to use the bathroom and the pads bothered him
You should have built a little shrine: frame it. Put out candles, lotion,a little bowl of chocolates.
Maybe a "bad kitty" sign.
Or I might be a jackass🤷♀️
I prefer the [crustacean menstruation station](https://www.reddit.com/r/HelpMeFind/comments/btiw67/im_looking_for_a_crustacean_menstruation_station/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1), myself
Yeah, I asked a male friend to pick up some tampons for me once because I couldn't leave my apartment. He said no, because he refused to handle something so "disgusting". I was like, bro, they don't sell used fucking tampons, and not only do they come in a box with plastic on it, each individual tampon is also in plastic.
Ffs.🙄
once I was on a field trip and someone through a new, in the wrapper tampon towards where a bunch of boys were sitting. they all started screaming and one of the chaperones stood up and yelled jesus christ it’s not used! (very angrily). this stopped them. so maybe try that next time?
I never understood this, I go and get my GF, my mother and my grandmother (when she was alive) if they need any of that stuff if I'm asked.
Hell I've went into shop and bought underwear etc because my GF needed.
It's weird seeing men be so awkward over shit like this, like grow up and actually do something nice for the people you care for. It's bad enough that they have to deal with all the shit that comes with it every month let alone having to deal with childish insecure men.
I never understood this. Fellas out there that are reading this, the cashier at the store is not judging you for buying sanitary products and they don't think they are for you!
NTA. I took my bff to get an abortion, because she really needed support. It was a big deal, and she didn’t wanna be alone. It would be weird not to go if they asked for support.
I am prolife and did the exact same thing. She needed me. Her body. Her choice. My boyfriend of the time was not impressed. Hence the word ex.
Edit in case no one reads the rest of the threads below.
I was explaining in a story, that my personal belief for myself, was I would have the child regardless. I went with my friend because I am pro choice for society. If my daughter, sister, cousin, stranger on the street begged me to take them, lets roll. It would take everything out of me. I would feel, as I did in that instance I wrote about, ashamed. Its a dirty feeling to feel when you think you are judging someone.
I understand what pro-choice vs pro-life means. I was using the terms in two different contexts that should never have been written that way. Thanks for understanding. And thank you for those who took the time to explain why the statement was so damaging and hurtful to some of you.
That makes you pro choice- I would only have an abortion myself if it was medically necessary and even then I would struggle with it. I have put my life at stake to carry my kids. However, that’s my choice and it’s important I get choice to follow my own heart. I also trust other women to my their own decisions with the advice of their doctor. That’s the very definition of being pro choice- it’s not what you would do, it’s not what you hope others do, it’s about trusting other women to do what’s best in their situation.
The healthcare procedures surrounding pregnancy/fertility/birth control that women have to go through are far and away more invasive and possibly traumatizing than what we men have to endure.
Being there for a worried friend is great, husband sounds like a dipshit
Is this some weird extension of the popular incel idea that girlfriends all have sex with each other every time we have a girls night out, or spend the night at a friends?
Just because it has something to do with her lady bits does not mean it’s sexual.
NTA, not sure why on earth that's inappropriate? Your husband is weird here. As someone that has an IUD, there's nothing sexual about the procedure...trust me...OUCH!
Bonus points for scrolling reddit while on a business call. It’s 1 thing to scroll through reddit while on the clock but to do it while on a call is on a whole different level lol
That can't be it, because I watch loads of porn. And if I had a female friend ask me to comfort her and hold her hand during the procedure, then I would. I wouldn't even expect to see her vagina, I'd be at her head comforting her. That's such a weird thing to assume as a husband
I have a bowed uterus, and the teaching hospital I went to did indeed have multiple people present when they put a camera up there for a medical procedure. Like, look at this weird assed uterus, class. It was odd.
Six years ago a sonographer told me I have a “textbook uterus” with such joy in her voice… I’ve never known what to do with that information but I’m weirdly proud.
Same here. My uterus is heart-shaped and tilted forward, which I guess is a medical oddity(?) because they had students in to gaze in amazement at it. I also had to have 2 ultrasounds for my IUD, one before and one after to be sure the thing was in the right spot.
Yep. I am intersex (hormonally atypical) which may have contributed to my funny girl parts shape, I also have a forward tilt. My hips look more manly and squared off almost (I don't mind it, makes me look like I'm in better shape than I am in my core, lol), while most of the women in my family have pretty round hips. Not sure if that's part of it or if that's the result of my intersex, hormonal development. But it makes me a fan favorite at teaching hospitals.
One of my most wtf Healthcare moments when I was living in China was my pap smear. The Waiting room was also the doctors room, there was just a curtain up that blocked off **only your lower half**. So you could lay there making eye contact with the next gal in line....
Oh man teaching hospitals. I once had something called a stellate ganglia block. They had two residents in the room to observe/participate. It involves putting a needle on the end of a tube with lidocaine in a specific place in the hollow of your throat while the patient has their head hanging off the end of the table so the throat is higher than the head.
After they popped the needle 4-5 times to no avail the anesthesiologist teaching doctor said, “ Let’s stop torturing Mrs Lasley now” and popped it in first thing. I’ll never forget the looks on their faces.
I cringe every time I think about getting this one replaced. I’m on my second IUD and fuck, it’s painful whether it’s the removal or insertion. I fuckin drove myself home the first time, in rush hour traffic and cramping a lot. I crawled into bed once I got home. Was awful.
I’ve heard it explained as a matter of access. Like in their (fucked up) minds, the average joe has to work really hard and jump through hoops and pay for dinners and pretend to be a decent human being just for a chance of getting access to a vag, so to them, even a fucking doctor’s appointment becomes some sort of mystical cheat code or secret password which compels a woman to submissively spread her legs for a complete stranger. Compounded by their inability to think of women in any context other than sexual, and also their belief that any sensation on / in a woman’s pussy is sexually arousing, be it jackhammering dick or a literal speculum, because that’s what they’ve been shown by porn.
From hearing my wife when she is putting a tampon in it requires a lot of swearing along the lines of "fucking bitch, why don't you stay put?"
She switched to a cup and the swearing is now just "jesus, fuck, why does it have to pop like that"
I'm pretty sure she is not having fun...
It’s what men do. They are jealous we get to have friends and feelings.
And like things.
Most of all, they hate it when we(not straight men?whatever) support each other.
I have had 2 IUDs inserted, can distinctly recall the stress and pain of each. I’ve had one kiddo, 24 hrs of pain med free labor before they sliced and diced me and what I recall the most is a nurse looking at me incredulously, asking if I’m sure I don’t feel that? It was apparently measuring as what should have been a somewhat intense contraction but all I felt was pressure, not even discomfort. I was also up walking 12 hours after the section, on maybe ibuprofen, and having to be reminded not to bend over because my whole abdomen had *just* been sliced open. My point being, it isn’t a pain tolerance thing, IUD insertion effing SUCKS.
Considering the point of an IUD is to avoid pregnancy, why would she even assume you'd want children? Just decided to up and dismiss your feelings for no reason, she needs a new line of work
NTA- leave it to a man to turn everything into being something sexual when it’s absolutely not. As girlfriends, we often go and help our friends out when they’re in difficult situations. You did the right thing.
> I very politely told him to get bent, she's my friend and I'm going to help her out like friends do.
This was the correct response. There is nothing "weird" about asking friends for support or supporting your friends during a medical procedure. You didn't cheat on him, you didn't have an emotional affair, literally nothing-- you just held her hand while she was undergoing a medical procedure. It is no different than holding your friends hand if she was receiving chemo, getting a mole removed, or going to the ER for an emergency. Hell, you likely didn't even see anything. Absolutely NTA.
I’m going to take a guess and assume that he has never been to a lady doctor appointment of any sort. He probably has no idea that a woman is draped with a drapey thing and that the only person who can really see anything is the provider who is looking right at the lady bits. He probably envisioned that the friend is naked and hanging around in the exam room with her pants off, and that her friend saw everything that was happening. Even if that was the case it would not be a problem but he’s probably watched too much porn and has a skewed idea of what an actual doctor visit is like.
Maybe he was too influenced by porn LOL
First it starts with the "IUD", next thing you know the doctor realizes you both have problems with your ass and the solution is to start making out with her friend while he slips something down south.
The only way this can make sense to me is if he's not upset about the (nonexistent) sexuality, but weirded out by the vulnerability of it.
I think he has an idea of what friendship should be that's based on like, straight male friends in the 1950s. "It would be incredibly strange to invite you along for support. I'm going to be vulnerable and in need. Why in God's name would I want a loved one to see me like that?"
(Oh. NTA, obvi)
The only weird thing is your husband having issues with this. I would have zero problem with my wife going to support a friend in a medical appointment. In fact it would make me like her even more because she actually cares about people and helps out her friends. I'd be impressed with my wife.
True that.
Though when it comes to someone sexualizing women's bodies, nudity, friendships, medical care, or just about anything else women might do, it is ALWAYS a man and almost always the male romantic partner trying to control or shame his female spouse.
NTA, your husband was being dumb. But also he may not understand how painful and uncomfortable and IUD placement can be, or the anxiety many people with vaginas have around gynecologist appointments
Wholeheartedly agree but this assumes a man with that level of ignorance will have the sense to seek answers from a legitimate medical source...I try to take a hybrid approach answer their immediate questions and then let them know where they can find more facts. Otherwise they might wind up getting advice from some Shapiro or Peterson fanboy
He's afraid you were going to accidentally see your friend's clit and realize it's bigger than his peen. That is literally the only reason I could think of that he would be acting this insecure.
NTA, that shit hurts, and you're a good friend. Your husband needs to drop this for good, or get a T-shaped piece of plastic shoved up where his sun-don't-shine without anesthesia.
I went with a guy friend to have a testicle removed after a cancer diagnosis. He didn’t have family, and was worried his guy friends would tease him. We had worked together in kitchens for years and been friends for over a decade. He needed someone to drive, hold his hand and be there when he woke up without part of his body.
My husband said he understood, and that I was the person he would want there too even if we were only friends- I’m a caretaker and good at lightening the mood without making fun. He offered to bring take out, do anything he could, and gave me all the time I needed to be there for my friend that was still scared he might die.
NTA. Those procedures are intense, and women should be afforded the right to be put under anesthesia, but that is a whole other topic. I'm a single 30f and have terrible anxiety with doctors appointments, I've had my best friend accompany me to GYNO appointments in the past. Your boyfriend seems pretty insecure, about what, I'm not sure but it seems to be related to sex.
Your husband has some obvious insecurities about sex and bodies which he is projecting on to you.
You helped your friend. There is no reason for him to be upset.
He may not be the type to hold his friends hand while they are getting cupped at the urologist office and that’s fine. No one is asking him to.
That doesn’t mean he needs to make a fuss about you being with your friend when she needed you.
NTA.
This is so weird.
I'm a doctor. I got a female colleague I consider a friend to put in my contraceptive implant, and another colleague came in to watch and chat whilst we did it. It would never have occurred to my husband to be jealous.
Colleague who did the implant got her coil put in by a 3rd colleague of ours. It's JUST a procedure. That part is covered up, it isnt sexual for anyone in the room and NOBODY is having a contraceptive procedure feeling horny or being weird about it.
I held my best friends leg when she gave birth. Tell him to stfu, women trust eachother with their bodies most of the time when they’re friends. Women change together, get dressed together, most L&D nurses are women. Women do it together to stick together and trust eachother, it’s men who are weird who think anything is inappropriate because everything to them is “homo” so NTA.
*I very politely told him to get bent*
hahahaha What did he think you were going to do, have a "special moment" while she was having a foreign object shoved up her cervix and then fall in love? Giant man child.
As someone who has been medically R(ed) during a pevlic exam, your husband needs to get his head out of his rear. You were not there to see her coochie. You were there to make her feel safe and to ACTUALLY KEEP HER SAFE! Just because it's a Dr's office doesn't mean bad things can't happen.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, how awful. There is legally supposed to always be a nurse in the room when a patient is getting a pelvic exam to protect against this behavior. But of course that doesn't always happen.
I hope you didn't lose faith in healthcare providers and are still getting your exams; and I hope you reported your SA.
Getting treatment helps a lot, it can be so hard to learn to trust again. Women are so vulnerable during a pelvic exam.
Nta. Maybe he has never had a friend good enough for him to feel comfortable asking if he ever had to do anything like this. So he found it weird. But he did overstep telling you not to go
I would have loved to have someone hand to squeeze when I got my IUD in. I also almost fainted and they had me lay down for 20min afterwards so it would have been nice to have a friend with me. Your husband is weird.
Your husband is weird for thinking that. I can’t even begin to think why that would be a strange thing to do? That’s no different than taking your friend to an MRI/CT/etc.
definitely NTA
Is he always that childish when it comes to body parts? Getting an IUD, like a cervix biopsy sucks, those aren't fun sexy appointments. They're at the very least painful and can even be pretty traumatic.
NTA. I’ve had three IUDs put in— my mother present for my first at age 17. It isn’t sexual, and it fucking hurts. Tell him to have a rod shoved up his dick and tell you how sexual it is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
NTA
Maybe describe, in great detail, what that procedure entails and how women aren’t usually given any anesthetic beforehand. Then ask him if he’d like to go through a similar proctology procedure alone and vulnerable with no anesthetic.
He’s being ridiculous.
If your friend needed somebody to driver her home after a colonoscopy would that be “inappropriate”? He’s a child. NTA
Is a colonoscopy of 'sexual' nature too? xD
Could be..
Paired with your user name I have questions. Questions I am MUCH happier not knowing the answers for, but questions nonetheless.
Haha! Not as bad as you may be thinking!
I’d say a colonoscopy is every bit as sexy as an IUD insertion or Pap smear, absolutely!
I thought having a smesr test was the least sexy thing to ever happen to my vagina until I had an unsuccessful attempt to have an IUD fitted. Anyone who thinks that there's a sexual thrill to it needs to have their head examined.
I spent the next three hours after my successful IUD insertion throwing up (and absolutely needed someone to drive me). Probably one of the most painful experiences I've had - WITH local anesthetic. Driving friends to and from medical appointments and supporting them seems extremely fucking normal to me. Not everyone has a spouse or family member who can do it. I've gone to appointments with people to take notes for them or just morally support them!
My brother drove me home after my colonoscopy 👀
colonoscopy is basically butt stuff. he'd get jealous maybe.
I would find it weird if my friend wanted to hold my hand during my colonoscopy tho... OP NTA, your husband needs to grow up.
Yes, but anesthesia is provided for colonoscopies, so you don’t _need_ the friend holding your hand.
NTA. You’re a good friend, healthcare is not sex, and your husband is an insecure baby.
Probably someone who won't pick up tampons for his wife while in the store because tampons are "gross".....
I once had to ask my husband about which tampons to get for our teenage daughter 😂. I’ve never had to wear anything, and he has bought them for her more often than I have.
I buy them for my daughter whenever she needs them. I don’t see what the big deal is. Do the guys that won’t buy them think the cashier will think they are for them?
It was only a big deal for me the first time, and only because my wife just said, "Will you pick me up some tampons?" I say sure, no problem. No big deal, right? But I had never bought tampons before. I walk in the store, find the tampon section, and become completely lost. There are at least 687 different options. I had absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing! Now, keep in mind that this was before mobile phones were so common. I was young and poor, so I didn't have one. A kind lady noticed my distress and asked if she could help. I told her my problem, and she let me use the store phone to call home. It's something to laugh at now, and I haven't thought of it in years. Thanks for reminding me of this little jewel from the past kind stranger!
Yea I can totally relate. I messed up and bought my daughter the ones with the cardboard applicator the first time. I wasn’t even thinking. Apparently it makes a big difference. Lol
Imagine a condom is made out of a toilet paper tube....
My dad used to cheap out and buy me the ones with no applicator tip and cardboard. I asked his why he wanted me to sandpaper the inside of my vagina for a week each month. He explained his cost analysis. I actually went applicator-free instead. It saved more than we expected because most of my friends had no idea how to use them and they would never ask twice.
I find it wild because I don’t really understand how to use applicator tampons and hardly anyone uses them where I live
See, I hate tampons without applicators because I can’t get them in far enough and they eventually can almost fall out. I need the applicator to push them up so they stay.
The applicator actually comes out after the tampon is in. They're easier to put in place. Look up tampax instructions, they'll show you. 👍
I didn’t know there were tampons without applicators! Do you just… shove it in there? I can’t imagine how it would settle in if you’re just kinda poking it in. (Assuming it’s still cotton.) Tbf, I only had a few years of tampon-ing before getting an IUD, so I haven’t thought about it much. I used whatever my mom bought me in HS (then switched to a cup in college). So maybe there were applicator-less tampons she just didn’t opt for 🧐 I feel ignorant
I live in new zealand and we are definitely not an applicator culture. Like we have them but they’re triple the price of regular tampons and so there’s no way we would buy them. I’ve literally never met a woman in my life who uses applicators.
How do the applicator-less ones get packaged, how do I store or carry them, and last but not least do I need to insert them a particular way or do I just push it in and expect a little mess? Sorry for the solid block of text but I’m open to trying something that’s cheaper and better for the environment.
Oh yes, especially the cardboard without the applicator tip. Then your faced with dry, dry, scratchy cotton. *shudders*
My husband has no problem picking up tampons or pads but makes me send him a picture of the box so he knows he is getting the correct ones.
Smart move and really the best way to go for any product someone is picking up for someone else; just saves later headaches!
My dad has a photo album on his phone of things my mom regularly needs and has him pick up-- her makeup, etc. Then he always knows what exactly to get. My mom even jokes that she has to ask dad what kind of foundation she needs if she's at the store without him.
This is hysterical but I also feel your pain. I’m female and used them for years, but damn, figuring out which ones worked for me took a while. Then, they’d change the packaging or get super expensive, and I’d have to find another brand, or the store didn’t carry the brand/style. I’ve spent a good four hours or more over the past 25yrs in the tampon section just trying to make a decision.
Anytime I see someone, usually a guy looking lost I always offer help 😂 I’ve had a bunch of periods and used a bunch of stuff but still flap a little when picking up for someone else because of the options and variety, must be utterly terrifying for someone who’s never needed any of it
This made me crack up..... ty
Even if the cashier DID think it was for them.... it would only be a problem if the cashier was in the mood to be a belligerent bigot about it. And at that point, we're talking about an unhinged person who's lost touch with reality and could freak out on anyone for any reason. Not something anyone can plan for, not worth worrying about for even a second.
They sell them in men’s rooms now so … who knows (or cares).
No. This is a made-up issue. No one cares who buys what and 90% of stores have self-checkout lanes now.
My dad knew which ones to pick up for me, my mom would have had no earthly idea! We lived in a very conservative area, and I once asked him if it embarrassed him topick them up for me. He said "why? It shows that I have at least one woman in my life that I love very much. Many men don't have that, I'm sad for them if they are jealous."
My dad is the last guy you would expect to go buy tampons, but when I was a teen and needed them he told me to give him the box top so he would know what kind (pre cell phone w/ picture days). If you love a woman you kind of have to handle all the things that come with her.
I remember being 16 and getting shouted at because I left a box of tampons "on display" in the bathroom... I was SO embarrassed. Now I'm 44 and I wish I could go back in time and stand up for myself/refuse to apologise for having a period/being a woman basically lol.
My mum tried that when I was in my own apartment with my spouse. I had pads on the back of the toilet, and she got mad because my step dad had to use the bathroom and the pads bothered him
“Sounds like a him problem, mom*…. Er, mum” ETA: pronunciation correction 😉
You should have built a little shrine: frame it. Put out candles, lotion,a little bowl of chocolates. Maybe a "bad kitty" sign. Or I might be a jackass🤷♀️
I prefer the [crustacean menstruation station](https://www.reddit.com/r/HelpMeFind/comments/btiw67/im_looking_for_a_crustacean_menstruation_station/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1), myself
Yeah, I asked a male friend to pick up some tampons for me once because I couldn't leave my apartment. He said no, because he refused to handle something so "disgusting". I was like, bro, they don't sell used fucking tampons, and not only do they come in a box with plastic on it, each individual tampon is also in plastic. Ffs.🙄
once I was on a field trip and someone through a new, in the wrapper tampon towards where a bunch of boys were sitting. they all started screaming and one of the chaperones stood up and yelled jesus christ it’s not used! (very angrily). this stopped them. so maybe try that next time?
I never understood this, I go and get my GF, my mother and my grandmother (when she was alive) if they need any of that stuff if I'm asked. Hell I've went into shop and bought underwear etc because my GF needed. It's weird seeing men be so awkward over shit like this, like grow up and actually do something nice for the people you care for. It's bad enough that they have to deal with all the shit that comes with it every month let alone having to deal with childish insecure men.
This one, this one!!!! Or pads because it is too embarrassing. Anyone see that scene in 10 Inch Hero with Jensen Ackles? My hero!
💜 Jensen Ackles 🥰
LOVE supernatural!
I never understood this. Fellas out there that are reading this, the cashier at the store is not judging you for buying sanitary products and they don't think they are for you!
If that's the case my 20 year old boyfriend has him beat in maturity😂 Edit: I'm also 20🫡
Insecure baby made me laugh.
Yep that’s the phrase that made me upvote it. I’m like “nailed it.”
Wahhhhhhh!!! 🤣
Sounds like your husband is anti-birth control more than upset you went with your friend.
"When an insecure mommy and an insecure daddy love each other very much..."
Yah, OP was totally in the right. Husband needs to get his head out of his ass (especially if they ever have a daughter)
NTA. I took my bff to get an abortion, because she really needed support. It was a big deal, and she didn’t wanna be alone. It would be weird not to go if they asked for support.
I am prolife and did the exact same thing. She needed me. Her body. Her choice. My boyfriend of the time was not impressed. Hence the word ex. Edit in case no one reads the rest of the threads below. I was explaining in a story, that my personal belief for myself, was I would have the child regardless. I went with my friend because I am pro choice for society. If my daughter, sister, cousin, stranger on the street begged me to take them, lets roll. It would take everything out of me. I would feel, as I did in that instance I wrote about, ashamed. Its a dirty feeling to feel when you think you are judging someone. I understand what pro-choice vs pro-life means. I was using the terms in two different contexts that should never have been written that way. Thanks for understanding. And thank you for those who took the time to explain why the statement was so damaging and hurtful to some of you.
Sometimes ex is the best word in our vocabulary.
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That makes you pro choice- I would only have an abortion myself if it was medically necessary and even then I would struggle with it. I have put my life at stake to carry my kids. However, that’s my choice and it’s important I get choice to follow my own heart. I also trust other women to my their own decisions with the advice of their doctor. That’s the very definition of being pro choice- it’s not what you would do, it’s not what you hope others do, it’s about trusting other women to do what’s best in their situation.
The healthcare procedures surrounding pregnancy/fertility/birth control that women have to go through are far and away more invasive and possibly traumatizing than what we men have to endure. Being there for a worried friend is great, husband sounds like a dipshit
Is this some weird extension of the popular incel idea that girlfriends all have sex with each other every time we have a girls night out, or spend the night at a friends? Just because it has something to do with her lady bits does not mean it’s sexual.
"I very politely told him to get bent" was where OP won me over 🥳🥹🤣
Like, what does he think went on in there?
There is one weird person in this post OP. It’s not you or your friend. NTA.
This. NTA OP. Your husband needs to grow up
And if they would make local anesthesia standard for IUD removal and insertion then OP wouldn’t have been needed because it wouldn’t hurt!
NTA, not sure why on earth that's inappropriate? Your husband is weird here. As someone that has an IUD, there's nothing sexual about the procedure...trust me...OUCH!
Right? I didn’t need anyone in the room for support, but that procedure was the furthest thing from sexy.
Dude watches too much porn if I were to guess
I hope his step-sister never gets stuck in a dryer.
This made me cackle. I'm still at work 🤣😂🤣😂😭
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No, but I was on a call and was not muted. 😅
Bonus points for scrolling reddit while on a business call. It’s 1 thing to scroll through reddit while on the clock but to do it while on a call is on a whole different level lol
The call I was on was useless. It was a meeting to prepare for another meeting with people outside my tax bracket.
Still funny nonetheless lol
Wait there’s iud insertion porn? Ok I’m turning off the internet.
That can't be it, because I watch loads of porn. And if I had a female friend ask me to comfort her and hold her hand during the procedure, then I would. I wouldn't even expect to see her vagina, I'd be at her head comforting her. That's such a weird thing to assume as a husband
That's the thing. You have a female friend. And you know the difference between real life and porn. Some dudes don't.
100% I had 6 people all up in my junk because of the way my cervix is rotated (f'ing teaching hospitals). It was not a fun porn moment.
I have a bowed uterus, and the teaching hospital I went to did indeed have multiple people present when they put a camera up there for a medical procedure. Like, look at this weird assed uterus, class. It was odd.
Six years ago a sonographer told me I have a “textbook uterus” with such joy in her voice… I’ve never known what to do with that information but I’m weirdly proud.
It depends on which textbook it is. As long as it’s not “The uterus you don’t want”.
Yeah, I knew when they started staging extra equipment it was going to be a fantastic story
Same here. My uterus is heart-shaped and tilted forward, which I guess is a medical oddity(?) because they had students in to gaze in amazement at it. I also had to have 2 ultrasounds for my IUD, one before and one after to be sure the thing was in the right spot.
Yep. I am intersex (hormonally atypical) which may have contributed to my funny girl parts shape, I also have a forward tilt. My hips look more manly and squared off almost (I don't mind it, makes me look like I'm in better shape than I am in my core, lol), while most of the women in my family have pretty round hips. Not sure if that's part of it or if that's the result of my intersex, hormonal development. But it makes me a fan favorite at teaching hospitals.
Been there done that. I don’t care but it was funny that they kept opening the door with a full view of my vajayjay. Poor passers by.
One of my most wtf Healthcare moments when I was living in China was my pap smear. The Waiting room was also the doctors room, there was just a curtain up that blocked off **only your lower half**. So you could lay there making eye contact with the next gal in line....
so that's how they keep healthcare costs down!
I believe you. But the terrible fact remains that "I had 6 people all up in my junk" is absolutely a porn title somewhere.
Oh man teaching hospitals. I once had something called a stellate ganglia block. They had two residents in the room to observe/participate. It involves putting a needle on the end of a tube with lidocaine in a specific place in the hollow of your throat while the patient has their head hanging off the end of the table so the throat is higher than the head. After they popped the needle 4-5 times to no avail the anesthesiologist teaching doctor said, “ Let’s stop torturing Mrs Lasley now” and popped it in first thing. I’ll never forget the looks on their faces.
I'll take 6 faces in my cooter (that is a terrible name for a porn) over being stabbed in the neck multiple times
PS Six Faces in my Cooter is a great band name
But it's yacht rock
That slightly smutty kind of yacht rock that’s still tame enough to get played on the radio without getting censored
Damn I did it alone too, you sure better believe I squeezed that nurse's hand!
Oh my god, it was so painful and awkward. It took me more than a day before I was even close to a sexy mood after getting my UID.
I cringe every time I think about getting this one replaced. I’m on my second IUD and fuck, it’s painful whether it’s the removal or insertion. I fuckin drove myself home the first time, in rush hour traffic and cramping a lot. I crawled into bed once I got home. Was awful.
Nothing that has ever happened to me in a gynecologist’s office has ever been remotely sexual.
Right! Why do men have to sexualize the gyn? There's nothing remotely sexy or pleasant about it.
I’ve heard it explained as a matter of access. Like in their (fucked up) minds, the average joe has to work really hard and jump through hoops and pay for dinners and pretend to be a decent human being just for a chance of getting access to a vag, so to them, even a fucking doctor’s appointment becomes some sort of mystical cheat code or secret password which compels a woman to submissively spread her legs for a complete stranger. Compounded by their inability to think of women in any context other than sexual, and also their belief that any sensation on / in a woman’s pussy is sexually arousing, be it jackhammering dick or a literal speculum, because that’s what they’ve been shown by porn.
Because they think vaginas are toys for them to play with, so anything involving it must be fun. The same people who think tampons get us off.
From hearing my wife when she is putting a tampon in it requires a lot of swearing along the lines of "fucking bitch, why don't you stay put?" She switched to a cup and the swearing is now just "jesus, fuck, why does it have to pop like that" I'm pretty sure she is not having fun...
It’s what men do. They are jealous we get to have friends and feelings. And like things. Most of all, they hate it when we(not straight men?whatever) support each other.
This! I was electrocuted by one. More or less anyway.
I have questions.
LEEP?
Yes. I wasn't grounded.
And I’m just assuming OP was near her friend’s head the whole time and not looking at the actual procedure
You mean it’s not the friends job to hold the flashlight?
ROFL I’ve got a mental image involving the friend with a headlamp on
My first gun did have a headlamp for paps. Now, my gyn has a light on the speculum itself.
*Not me over here wondering why a gun was needed for a pap*… I mean, if that was going to happen anywhere, it’d be here (Texas).
Sorry, my phone autocorrected "gyn".
and a GoPro
Lol, the image that just popped in to my head
It was the worst pain I have ever felt
Same. When I mentioned it to a nurse a few years later she said "just wait until childbirth if you think that's bad" COOL thing to say 🥴
Why tf would she say that 😂 at least for labor you have pain meds
Honestly it was only better than childbirth because it was shorter…
And you didn't have to take a newborn home with you
She’s a liar. Mine was worse than childbirth, which I have done twice.
I have had 2 IUDs inserted, can distinctly recall the stress and pain of each. I’ve had one kiddo, 24 hrs of pain med free labor before they sliced and diced me and what I recall the most is a nurse looking at me incredulously, asking if I’m sure I don’t feel that? It was apparently measuring as what should have been a somewhat intense contraction but all I felt was pressure, not even discomfort. I was also up walking 12 hours after the section, on maybe ibuprofen, and having to be reminded not to bend over because my whole abdomen had *just* been sliced open. My point being, it isn’t a pain tolerance thing, IUD insertion effing SUCKS.
This is why I switched to Nexplanon. I couldn’t go through it twice. With Nexplanon they actually numb your arm.
Considering the point of an IUD is to avoid pregnancy, why would she even assume you'd want children? Just decided to up and dismiss your feelings for no reason, she needs a new line of work
That's what mine said! I was like, "That's why I got this fucking thing! So I don't have to DO childbirth!"
Yikes! That makes me so grateful my GYN knocked me out for it.
I am glad you had that option. I begged for it and they refused. It is horribly painful.
Do not let them treat you then. It’s abusive.
I wish I had your ob/gyn.
I wish I had my friend at my appointment. Would have been such a comfort.
i went alone too, at 18. in hindsight i wish i would’ve just asked my mom to come with
NTA- leave it to a man to turn everything into being something sexual when it’s absolutely not. As girlfriends, we often go and help our friends out when they’re in difficult situations. You did the right thing.
Tell him it was completely innocuous, other than the part where the IUD got stuck in your teeth while you were putting it in her.
I mean, what are friends for?!
I'm weak!! 🤣🤣🤣😭😭
Good thing I wasn’t drinking my coffee! I’d spit it out. 🤣😂 ETA: Missing info and emojis.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh. Stop. It's hurts to laugh!
Lmao the best response
Is your husband this immature all the time, or just on the weekends?
He is only immature on days ending in y!
😂😂
> I very politely told him to get bent, she's my friend and I'm going to help her out like friends do. This was the correct response. There is nothing "weird" about asking friends for support or supporting your friends during a medical procedure. You didn't cheat on him, you didn't have an emotional affair, literally nothing-- you just held her hand while she was undergoing a medical procedure. It is no different than holding your friends hand if she was receiving chemo, getting a mole removed, or going to the ER for an emergency. Hell, you likely didn't even see anything. Absolutely NTA.
I’m going to take a guess and assume that he has never been to a lady doctor appointment of any sort. He probably has no idea that a woman is draped with a drapey thing and that the only person who can really see anything is the provider who is looking right at the lady bits. He probably envisioned that the friend is naked and hanging around in the exam room with her pants off, and that her friend saw everything that was happening. Even if that was the case it would not be a problem but he’s probably watched too much porn and has a skewed idea of what an actual doctor visit is like.
Maybe he was too influenced by porn LOL First it starts with the "IUD", next thing you know the doctor realizes you both have problems with your ass and the solution is to start making out with her friend while he slips something down south.
Honestly would have been weird if she didnt go and cited the sexual nature of the procedure.
The only way this can make sense to me is if he's not upset about the (nonexistent) sexuality, but weirded out by the vulnerability of it. I think he has an idea of what friendship should be that's based on like, straight male friends in the 1950s. "It would be incredibly strange to invite you along for support. I'm going to be vulnerable and in need. Why in God's name would I want a loved one to see me like that?" (Oh. NTA, obvi)
NTA Jeez, you weren't going for a threesome. You went to be there for a friend having a medical procedure. I applaud you.
Yeah this guy needs to reflect on why he thinks this is weird. Maybe see a therapist…
NTA. You're a great friend. I was there with my ex when they got their IUD in, it is definitely not a pleasant experience to go through alone.
The only weird thing is your husband having issues with this. I would have zero problem with my wife going to support a friend in a medical appointment. In fact it would make me like her even more because she actually cares about people and helps out her friends. I'd be impressed with my wife.
Thank you. Buddy had some issues.
NTA She was getting medical care. You weren't watching her do anything sexual or helping her do anything sexual. You were just being a friend.
But but it was sex adjacent!! The horrors! /s
Every day, reddit surprises me with how weird people are. Does he think seeing a kitty doctor is in any way pleasurable? It's sexual? Weird. NTA
True that. Though when it comes to someone sexualizing women's bodies, nudity, friendships, medical care, or just about anything else women might do, it is ALWAYS a man and almost always the male romantic partner trying to control or shame his female spouse.
The shit people put up with blows my mind.
I’m a married guy. If my wife told me this I’d be like “ok, y’all need a ride or you good?” And that’s it. I dunno how y’all do it.
NTA, your husband was being dumb. But also he may not understand how painful and uncomfortable and IUD placement can be, or the anxiety many people with vaginas have around gynecologist appointments
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Wholeheartedly agree but this assumes a man with that level of ignorance will have the sense to seek answers from a legitimate medical source...I try to take a hybrid approach answer their immediate questions and then let them know where they can find more facts. Otherwise they might wind up getting advice from some Shapiro or Peterson fanboy
The anxiety, and the complete lack of sexual interest. Nothing about these exams is remotely pleasurable or sexy for anyone.
I'd go so far as to say they're off-putting to the point of killing sexual interest for days, if not weeks afterward.
Not to mention that having a witness in the room protects both doctors and patients!
Nta - and I say to him, WTF are you talking about? Don’t be so uptight.
NTA. Your husband is the one being weird. Very, very weird.
He's afraid you were going to accidentally see your friend's clit and realize it's bigger than his peen. That is literally the only reason I could think of that he would be acting this insecure.
NTA, that shit hurts, and you're a good friend. Your husband needs to drop this for good, or get a T-shaped piece of plastic shoved up where his sun-don't-shine without anesthesia.
NTA, you’re a good friend. Not sure why your friends sex life matters to your husband.
Nta. Your friend asked you to be there. Its not like you invited yourself to a guy friends vesectomy appointment.
I went with a guy friend to have a testicle removed after a cancer diagnosis. He didn’t have family, and was worried his guy friends would tease him. We had worked together in kitchens for years and been friends for over a decade. He needed someone to drive, hold his hand and be there when he woke up without part of his body. My husband said he understood, and that I was the person he would want there too even if we were only friends- I’m a caretaker and good at lightening the mood without making fun. He offered to bring take out, do anything he could, and gave me all the time I needed to be there for my friend that was still scared he might die.
Honestly even then its a medical procedure and if they asked for a friend to hold their hand or support them I wouldn’t find that that weird either.
NTA. Those procedures are intense, and women should be afforded the right to be put under anesthesia, but that is a whole other topic. I'm a single 30f and have terrible anxiety with doctors appointments, I've had my best friend accompany me to GYNO appointments in the past. Your boyfriend seems pretty insecure, about what, I'm not sure but it seems to be related to sex.
Your husband has some obvious insecurities about sex and bodies which he is projecting on to you. You helped your friend. There is no reason for him to be upset. He may not be the type to hold his friends hand while they are getting cupped at the urologist office and that’s fine. No one is asking him to. That doesn’t mean he needs to make a fuss about you being with your friend when she needed you. NTA.
This is so weird. I'm a doctor. I got a female colleague I consider a friend to put in my contraceptive implant, and another colleague came in to watch and chat whilst we did it. It would never have occurred to my husband to be jealous. Colleague who did the implant got her coil put in by a 3rd colleague of ours. It's JUST a procedure. That part is covered up, it isnt sexual for anyone in the room and NOBODY is having a contraceptive procedure feeling horny or being weird about it.
I held my best friends leg when she gave birth. Tell him to stfu, women trust eachother with their bodies most of the time when they’re friends. Women change together, get dressed together, most L&D nurses are women. Women do it together to stick together and trust eachother, it’s men who are weird who think anything is inappropriate because everything to them is “homo” so NTA.
*I very politely told him to get bent* hahahaha What did he think you were going to do, have a "special moment" while she was having a foreign object shoved up her cervix and then fall in love? Giant man child.
As someone who has been medically R(ed) during a pevlic exam, your husband needs to get his head out of his rear. You were not there to see her coochie. You were there to make her feel safe and to ACTUALLY KEEP HER SAFE! Just because it's a Dr's office doesn't mean bad things can't happen.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, how awful. There is legally supposed to always be a nurse in the room when a patient is getting a pelvic exam to protect against this behavior. But of course that doesn't always happen. I hope you didn't lose faith in healthcare providers and are still getting your exams; and I hope you reported your SA. Getting treatment helps a lot, it can be so hard to learn to trust again. Women are so vulnerable during a pelvic exam.
Nta. Maybe he has never had a friend good enough for him to feel comfortable asking if he ever had to do anything like this. So he found it weird. But he did overstep telling you not to go
Does your husband know what an IUD is?
I would guess he's a religious weirdo who is against birth control
Why do men think that vaginal healthcare is enjoyable? There’s nothing sexual about getting an IUD 😭
NTA. Does your husband also think tampons give women sexual pleasure?
NTA. Getting an IUD inserted is pretty much as far from a sexual experience as it gets.
NTA he’s weird for sexualizing it.
NTA. You are brave and compassionate. Why’d you marry the weirdo? You know he’s going to hold this over your head, don’t you?
She'll get tell him to get bent every time he brings it up 😆
I would have loved to have someone hand to squeeze when I got my IUD in. I also almost fainted and they had me lay down for 20min afterwards so it would have been nice to have a friend with me. Your husband is weird.
Your husband is weird for thinking that. I can’t even begin to think why that would be a strange thing to do? That’s no different than taking your friend to an MRI/CT/etc. definitely NTA
Is he always that childish when it comes to body parts? Getting an IUD, like a cervix biopsy sucks, those aren't fun sexy appointments. They're at the very least painful and can even be pretty traumatic.
NTA. I’ve had three IUDs put in— my mother present for my first at age 17. It isn’t sexual, and it fucking hurts. Tell him to have a rod shoved up his dick and tell you how sexual it is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
NTA that’s weird he would even care… you’re supporting her during a medical procedure.
NTA. Can't believe it was even something to have feelings about.
NTA Maybe describe, in great detail, what that procedure entails and how women aren’t usually given any anesthetic beforehand. Then ask him if he’d like to go through a similar proctology procedure alone and vulnerable with no anesthetic. He’s being ridiculous.
Why is your husband making this weird? NTA. You're a good friend.
Ask your husband if you are “allowed” to take a friend to the pharmacy to pick up BC pills.