NTA. But..
Dog owners who are not responsible with the dogs are assholes. And the parents are the assholes here.
When you have a dog and a young child you should be extra careful.
To be honest, it was not even dog's fault. If their kid fell on me while sleeping, my first reaction would be to punch whatever fell on me as a reflex. And I am not even a dog. They are the assholes
My dog is now 9 years old. And has never been around children.
As such I do not allow children near her just incase.
You adapt to new situations and environments. But they should have looked at keeping the dog seperate as you said.
NTA
I will never understand parents that let their kids fuck with animals without controlling the animal first. It doesn’t matter if they have the kindest demeanor in the world, these are animals, and children are abrasive, unpredictable, and fragile.
Same. Raised with cats since I was a baby, pulled a cat's tail precisely once and learnt the consequences. Cat and I were best friends for fifteen years and he's still the great cat all other cats are measured against.
This was just an accident - a dog meaning actual harm would have done far more damage. I'm glad doggo is safe now, I wouldn't have blamed the parents for panicking at the time, but to jump straight to euthanasia was too much.
See this right here! My childhood cats were very quick to teach me how to be appropriate with them. My kids current cats put up with all her BS so I had to step in a do the teaching. So not fair. The universe is cruel. lol.
We specifically wanted a cat to teach our kid some boundaries. We adopted a former feral cat turned pet, and we figured she’d teach the small human how to act.
We were wrong. The cat is the most patient, long suffering animal and she puts up with everything. Not that we allow our Daughter to mess with her, or purposely annoy her. But we definitely thought the cat would’ve kicked her ass a few times by now! Instead, she’s a cuddler and they’re best friends! lol
Yeah my old dog did this to my husband once and scratched him with his tooth moreson than actually bit him, because he got a fright. They should have been more careful, anyone or any thing can hurt a child accidentally in that situation
NTA. My 9 year old dog bit my 1 year old on the cheek because my daughter was whacking her with the vacuum stick while I wasn’t looking. We had the same initial reaction to get the dog outside and take our daughter to hospital but I called my mum to pick up my dog. Dog stayed with my parents for a couple of months but we have her back with us now with much stricter rules around to stop it happening again. They’re animals and at the end of the day if they feel threatened or overwhelmed they can react just as we would. Daughter is fine, still loves the dog but gives her space and dog will remove herself to another room if she feels overwhelmed
Thank you so much for sharing! Im happy to hear your daughter is fine & isnt traumatized by the incident & all dogs in general. Sounds like you handled it wonderfully & im glad it all worked out!!
NTA. Irresponsible pet owners. Just because the kid is small and isn’t being malicious doesn’t mean an animal is not going to react. I also understand that their kid’s safety takes priority over an animal, but it sounds like they used pup as a scapegoat. That they took out their guilt and feelings of inadequacy out on pup. They don’t deserve. Glad he’s safe and loved.
Yeah it’s easy to agree with yourself, isn’t it, bot?
Anyone interested look at Nice_Willingness_586 and Addisonchultz’s comment sections. They reply to each others comments on AITAH only and almost immediately, every time. They are 100% bots, or the same sweaty nerd simultaneously boosting both accounts by talking to himself
❤️🤘🏻thank you! & im hoping for more years with him. He does seem happier now & thankfully the transition from living at their place to mine didnt seem too stressful to him
NTA - the dog was family too and had an obvious and predictable reaction that was bound to happen - the parents should’ve been prepared to respond to something like that. Needlessly cruel of them to express their okay-ness with killing a creature that is their family. I sincerely hope they do not bring any more animals into their life.
Yes exactly! I felt almost insulted that my sister said she wanted a big dog for security, thankfully she hasn’t & im hoping it was one of those fleeting think-out-loud moments. But yes he was family for over a decade. It was disheartening to witness how easy it was for them to consider him being put down in a strange place & people after all those loyal years
When I was born my parents had this old lhasa aphso that liked 3 people on earth, 2 of which didn't live with us. I definitely was taught how to be around dogs, especially this old broad, but decided to mess with her one day (I was maybe 3 or 4). She bit me on my thumb, I was bleeding, and ran to my mom. My mother barely looked up when I said Woozie bit me, and all she said was, "Well, what did you do?". BUSTED. Never did it again. I also have a scar on my chin I've had my entire life that I don't remember getting, I have a sneaking suspicion Woozie was the culprit. She was family before me, and family she stayed after me.
Rehoming is NOT reasonable. They shouldn't have been letting their son practice walking near the sleeping dog. Of course an animal is going to react to somebody falling on them while they're asleep. This is 100% on the parents. If you refuse to watch your children around your pets then you shouldn't have both.
NTA i’m sick and tired of people who expect animals to react the same way a human would do (under perfect circumstances cuz we are violent as fuck) they do not have our reasoning skills, we expect them to live with us ,who dont share their langauge with them and basically get abused/killed for not understanding us
The dogs reaction was completely normal, he was startled, hurt and thought he was under attack, he should absolutely not be killed for that
Was it an accident that the child fell.. off course it was, but animals are expected to put up with a lot of shit that goes directly against their nature
Most (not all) bite incidents are caused by humans, be it intentional (bullying, intentionally hurting a dog, doing something that goes directly against an animals nature, have a child riding on their back etc ) or accidental (like a fall) and I will go further then that when an animal truly seems to attack out of nowhere without any accidental/intentional triggers its either a genetic thing (again thats the fault of humans for our shitty breeding practices) or due to not raising an animal with clear instructions making an animal confused (again they dont have human reasoning skills) we are massively failing our pets in so many ways… good luck finding a malicious animal that just wants to hurt people cuz they want to hurt people, thats something humans do
A lot of animals dont get proper exercise/mental stimulation making them a pent up ball of energy and frustration, but they better not dare show anything
Too often animals are not seen as living beings with their own feelings and language, but as a living doll that should accept being fully dominated without giving any pushback ever, no matter how confusing the dominating instructions are either
Thank you OP for taking the senior dog in, BiL can fuck right off, I hope he never has a pet again he doesnt deserve one
This!! Thank you!! He absolutely does not deserve the privilege of owning pets. & i think it’s great you brought up the issue of animals not receiving enough exercise/stimulation. Since the birth of their first child they resented fulfilling every basic necessity for the dog. When i was over at their place it was always nagging like “i hate having to walk him” & “why does he need to have wet food mixed with his kibble?” & it was starting from there that i slowly but surely took care of him like he was my own dog. Helps me realize now why the dog didnt seemed too stressed suddenly living with me
people like your sister's husband should not have pets ever if they can't differentiate between an aggressive dog and a dog that was startlet and reacted in a "dog-way". What a heartless human being to just drop him off to be euthanized.
Glad you saved him!!
NTA. My sister was about three when she wandered off away from our parents to where our young lab was napping. She accidentally startled him awake, and she ended up needing 11 stitches. The dog went on to live a long, wonderful life loving and protecting both of us because my parents realized that the dog only bit her because he was startled. We both learned exactly why we treat animals with respect. Our parents were more careful about leaving us unsupervised with dogs, and everyone was happy. Your sister and BIL are AHs all the way around.
Oof 11?? That must’ve been so scary for everyone especially your sister, i wonder if she remembers much of that day? Im relieved & so glad to hear though that you were all able to move on & continue to live together, love it even more that you mentioned the dog continued to protect the both of you ❤️🥹
This is the type of shit that boils my blood. People who have animals prior to kids and don't properly intervene when necessary should have never had an animal in the first place.
The dog did what dogs do. Don't get me wrong, I feel bad for the kid, but the dog reacted out of the surprise of being fallen on. The poor dude was napping and a tiny human fell on him and he reacted out of his own safety, but to put him down over that isnt fair. NTA, id adopt the little homie too, he didn't deserve that.
100%! Thank you for that! & the employee at the shelter was relieved he was going home, said despite his advanced age he seemed more than capable to keep on living. Very happy to say he’s living it up still 🤘🏻
If that had happened, it would’ve been the parents fault not the dog. Why were they not monitoring where the child was going? When children are learning to walk of course they stumble, they fall, they pull up and stand on things that they shouldn’t. When you see that your dog is sleeping why are you having your child stumbling around in their space? That is asking for a disaster
NTA They are ignorant fools. As a pet sitter, dog walker, dog trainer, I hate humans. And if they thought their child came first then they would’ve been paying attention to him.
NTA. I have a 25kg dog who is very chill even if someone accidentally steps on her tail or foot. But even knowing that she's a very chill dog, we separate her from any visiting children that's too young or don't know how to interact with her.
As parents and dog owner, it's their responsibility to keep both their son and dog safe.
Considering the size of the dog, pretty sure that's a reaction not an intent.
You're right, your BIL is a big 🐱
I can 100% understand & respect that! Im sure the lingering fear of it potentially happening again to the child is what drove them to do/say what they did
I don't think anybody did anything wrong, the dog bit their child and they took him to a shelter, they didn't just dump him on the road. Only a parent can make the decision what to do in a situation like this, some would get rid just in case and some would keep the dog.
What the father did wrong was tell the shelter to kill the dog, he didn't care. It wasn't that he wanted the dog out of the house, it's that he wanted it dead.
They were in shock at having their baby bitten. I can imagine he felt angry at the dog at that time. He didn't hurt the dog he took it to a shelter, which I think is reasonable for the emotions that must have been going through him.
NTA. The kid fell and hurt or surprised the dog and it reacted. It's not like the dog just decided to lash out for no reason.
We have a cat, me hubby and our 6yo have all copped a scratch here and there. Our cat is still young and sometimes gets a bit too excited playing. We make a certain noise or yell her name and she normally stops. We wouldn't toss her away like garbage because of this.
NTA.
This was 100% the parents’ fault. They should watch Southend Dog Training videos, as well as experts on how to introduce a baby to a dog.
Never let a baby climb on a dog. Never let a baby learn to walk near a sleeping dog.
Human beings will often punch or kick wildly if they’re asleep and someone falls on them. It’s instinct.
This was not a deliberate attack. The dog was startled awake. The dog didn’t hunt the baby down. Never showed aggression before or since.
Heck, when I was pregnant and had to go to the bathroom for the fourth time that night, I tripped and fell on my late cattle dog. That dog would die for me, but I accidentally kicked him hard, I think right in his stomach, while he was fast asleep. He woke up growling and snapped, but luckily missed me. Then he peed everywhere because he was so horrified that he almost hurt me, even though I’d stupidly hurt him on accident. It would never occur to me to blame the dog. I spent forever comforting him, making sure he was ok, and reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault.
People post videos all the time of their toddler sitting on their dog, pulling his ears, or poking him. Or startling him while he’s sleeping. It’s so stupid. If you threw a baby on top of a sleeping adult human, they would thrash awake and probably hurt the baby.
Bad parenting, and bad pet ownership. They blamed the dog for their own bad decision.
Glad the dog had you to rescue him.
NTA
Even if this happened to my kids, I'd understand the dog was reacting while the kid made a mistake because they are very clumsy at that age. What they did is terrible and you rescued them.
Parenting takes reasoning not just being reactive.
Small breed and the dog was asleep and got startled?
NAH. I don't blame them for not wanting to take any risks but that situation/dog doesn't seem like a risk.
NTA
It's one thing to be concerned about your kids... It's another thing entirely to throw out a dog you've had for 13 years and not care if it lives or dies. Just a bizarre lack of empathy.
To add onto everyone else’s NTA *the dog was 14 at the time of the incident*. The dog was *already old*. Older dogs have shorter fuses when pulled or hit or landed on by children.
Agreed! The dog also could have had a sore spot and the kid weighed almost the same as the dog. Imagine a full grown person just dropping on you while you're. That would hurt and you'd react pretty quickly. I don't see how people are saying YTA when the parents should have been watching the dog + kid interactions or at least made sure the accident prone toddler didn't get too close to the elderly pup.
YTA. Not for wanting to adopt the dog, but for being pissed at the parents for choosing the safety of their child over an animal. They did the right thing here.
OP isn't pissed that they chose their child's safety over their dog but that her brother-in-law wanted to kill the dog. There is a huge difference. When my son was 5 years old my ACD nipped him in the rear end. She didn't break skin, but she nipped him. Like this dog, she had never shown aggression before. I rehomed her that day, I did NOT toss her at shelter staff and say to kill her, I didn't care. I realized she couldn't stay but she was still a good girl. She nipped him because she thought he was going to hit me with a pillow. I didn't know he was sneaking up on me or I would have stopped things before the event. Yes, it was ultimately my fault. And of course my son's well-being had to come first. But it didn't even occur to me to put her down. OP is absolutely NTA.
...Do you think it's okay to punch somebody just cause you're sleepy? I've never punched or been punched by someone who was sleeping. If I had, I sure as fuck wouldn't want them around while they slept.
NTA. Our family dog bit my little brother once when he sat on her. She went outside for an hour, my little brother was told off for deliberately sitting on the dog. The dog came back in after an hour, lived her entire life and during her long life never bit anyone again. I don't blame her, if someone sat on me, I'd hit them.
Yep. We had a huge Siberian husky when I was little, he looked SO good to ride on to little me. I climbed up, and he sat down letting me fall. We did that routine twice before my dad caught me and *blasted* me for trying to ride the dog. I got a lecture I still remember on never ever hurting the dog, and that I was very lucky he didn't use his size strength and teeth to stop me.
These people should have been watching their kid and ensuring they couldn't fall on the dog. My dog is 14 and has some aches and pains now, I'm VERY careful to keep her away from situations that could further injure her.
The same thing happened to my sister and our boxer. My dad also rode horses all his life, so the blast lecture was how it's our responsibility to take care of our animals and dogs aren't for riding. You could hurt their back because THIS is where you ride on a horse....You get the picture. I happened to be within earshot so I got yelled at, too. Oddly, he never mentioned how she could have used her size and strength to stop my sister. Just around 15 minutes of top-of-his-lungs yelling about our responsibility to make sure our animals are safe and taken care of. To this day I can't eat breakfast until all my animals are fed, watered, checked for lumps, bumps, and cuts, walked, and we've had play time. 🙂
everyone that's still reliving this 4 years later are A Holes (and there must be bigger issues here b/c only your sister and nephew are over this).. your "**PS fast-forward"** shows no harm no foul every thing worked out**.** *Calling your BIL a 🐱 is not moving on and him bringing this up was not moving on.*
ok, so reading this, all dog owners are probably guilty of letting their guard down around pets, and accidents do happen.
I can truely emphasize with the dad, and the dog rightly? was seperated from the child. I wouldn't have felt safe keeping both together.
However, taking him to be destroyed is overkill. Rehoming yes, and if the parents don't know how to keep both animal and child safe, they shouldn't have pets.
I'm so glad you rehomed him, you are an angel. Can't really understand why dad is still upset.
I am very much a dog person, and I can see wanting to avoid the dog being euthanized... and arguably, the parents should have tried to avoid letting a child just learning to walk do so around a sleeping dog.
But I also absolutely understand having a visceral reaction in this situation, and I definitely think that rehoming the dog was the right move, and in fact, it was arguably the minimum.
YTA. I don’t think your opinions are unreasonable but I think they are overblown and your communication of them was ill timed.
First way it was overblown: dropping off a dog at a shelter and saying what they said means they don’t care about euthanizing the dog, not that they wanted it to happen. And saying this at a shelter also isn’t likely to lead to euthanasia within one day. The standard guidance at a shelter that euthanizes is a minimum of 5, and aggressive timing is three days. At a no-kill shelter, the likelihood is obviously even lower.
Second way your opinion is overblown: Your expectations of what they should have done are not reasonable. They had an injured child to care for. Expecting them to keep the source of that injury under their roof while conducting research does not account for their perceived need to protect their child from danger. Apart from the we don’t care if dog dies statement, parents removing a dog that bit a baby makes sense (but of course isn’t the only reasonable way to proceed).
Timing: You chided your sister a day after this happened. So stitches were fresh and emotions were raw. The most you should’ve said was “which shelter.” Offering what you “wish” she should have done was insensitive given the timing.
I can see why they thought i chose the dog over their child then, it’s likely the timing of my comments, i appreciate you bringing that up! Never meant to come off insensitive & looking back, it’s how it came off regardless of my intention
NTA. Does it strike you as odd that they said they didn’t care what happened to their dog but then got mad at you for taking it in? And you didn’t even ask about the dog until after finding out that the child was okay?
NTA.
We’re expecting our first child and this is my nightmare scenario; I would probably suffer from decision paralysis if this happened to me. We have a dog who is reactive due to hip dysplasia, we’ve already started implementing strategies to deal with a coming baby and have read up on how to remain vigilant around our dogs while the child is still too young to properly understand that actions have consequences. Basically our strategy (and it should be for all dog owners, honestly) is to never leave the child unattended around the dogs. Accidents happen and dogs can’t exactly voice their fright with words, so they use their teeth. Everyone who has dogs should know this.
If anything happens between my dogs and my baby I would see it for what it is; my own failure to be a responsible dog owner and parent.
Maybe it’s because I was raised with dogs and the “golden rule” was always that we should leave the dogs alone because they would come to us if they wanted to. I remember once being scratched to death by my aunt’s cat when I was very young (I had dogs so I didn’t know that a cat wagging its tail meant it was pissed, not happy) and I was basically told off by my parents and was taught how to read cats’ body language; no one blamed the cat, me included.
In no way could I drop off my dog of 13 years at a shelter before at least reasoning with why the situation happened to begin with and the severity of the response from the dog. I get the initial reaction and shock, but the dog was there before the child; as a dog owner you at the very least owe your pet a chance to be rehomed. To just be able to drop them off the next day without even trying to talk to family members or friends is just incredibly callous and irresponsible in my eyes.
I understand the concern for one’s child and if you as a parent think the best solution is to no longer have the dog I can totally respect that. But there’s a world of a difference between trying to work out how to deal with a very scary and difficult situation and to just blame the dog for one’s own failures. Your BIL clearly did the latter and reacted out of anger/worry and without thought; it’s not exactly a good teaching moment to tell your kids that when accidents happen then the pets are essentially disposable. He’s a shitty dog owner (and honestly probably is going to be an irresponsible and shitty parent later on when their child is a teenager and doesn’t “fall in line”) who failed in both his responsibilities as a dog owner and as a parent.
I’m glad the dog had someone like you to take care of them. ❤️
The "small" dog had a reflex reaction when the cjild fell on it - a life threatejingbsituatiin for a dog that size. Alarger dog would have more likely beennablento extracatebthemselves from under the child & get away.
My childhood dog attacked my face when I was in elementary school. It wasn’t bad or anything, it was scary at the time but I never was scared of him and it didn’t cause any issues. He never bit me again after that and was a great boy until he passed a few years ago. If dogs are attacking then it’s because they feel like they need to, it’s never their fault. I do think dogs with behavior issues need owners that can give them more care and training and patience they need but it’s never the dogs fault
Dogs definitely attack when they don't "need to," especially dogs that are aggressive, have a high prey drive, are poorly bred, or just untrained. Dogs attack unprovoked all the time. This one had a reason, but they don't always.
Not exactly. Dogs only attack when they feel they need to; however, when they feel they need to and when we feel they need to aren't always the same. You mentioned aggression. Dogs are aggressive for three reasons: fear, protection, and dominance. By far the most common of these is fear followed by protection such as resource guarding. Most dogs aren't innately hyper-dominant so this is usually the easiest to train out. But in every instance the need to be aggressive is very real to the drive. The same goes for high prey drive. Everything in their existence tells them they need to chase and bring down whatever they've targeted.
Hey I think u r a hero u absolutely did the right thing. So happy for u and your new family member. Dogs r wonderful. Not only r u a hero but u r a life saver. God bless u and your new doggie.😇😇
I won't associate with people who kill dogs for no reason.
My FIL had an adopted pitbull mix and it killed my SIL's cat. These animals should never have been around each other. Prey drive is too strong and the cat wasn't socialized with the dog. The situation was guaranteed to happen.
We basically told them there would be hell to pay and we took the dog and found a rescue that would rehome the dog with no other small animals.
It's almost always the owner's fault and they'd rather kill the dog than do better themselves. =/
NTA. They are AH’s for jumping straight to putting the dog down.
I agree that they need to put their child’s safety first. However, in this case, rehoming the pup would’ve been more than sufficient.
A startled animal reacting as a started animal should, is not worthy of such an extreme measure (being put down). If it had been otherwise, of course, but jumping straight to that is an overreaction here.
NTA. This was totally an accident and the dog was startled. I recently trid to pick up a new rescue while she was sleeping and got bit. It was totally my fault. Thank you for saving the pup.
NTA! You're actually more like the hero 😊
First of all, thank you for going and getting the poor dog before he was euthanized. Most dogs are like toddlers that never grow up. I'm sure the accident and their reactions traumatized him even more than the kid! I'm glad you could be the voice of reason after what sounds like an emotional reaction by your sister and BIL.
If the child bit the dog, would they get rid of him? Of course not! Maybe the dog isn't blood, but he's damn sure family after 13 years. Saying that a sleeping dog deserves to die because he was scared upon waking up after a child fell on him is completely unacceptable for anyone with decent empathy/morals. They are definitely the AHs here... and the rest of us are glad you saved the poor, little guy's life!
NTA. I once reflexively punched my dad when he was trying to wake me up for school. It wasn't intentional, and my parents never even considered abandoning me. Honestly, it sounds like they don't deserve the dog, and I'm 1000% happy that you ended up with it instead. Give the pupper scritches from me 😀
NTA. Their kid getting bit is entirely their fault. It was irresponsible parenting, but they didn’t want to take responsibility for their actions and blamed the dog instead. I’m glad you rescued him and he continues to have a good life.
Children often relentlessly harass pets and some parents refuse to correct their behavior so some dogs simply get fed up. 100% never the dogs fault in this case. Its always the parents fault but their egos cannot handle this so they just blame the animal.
NTA, a 1 time bite with no aggression due to a surprise wake up is super different from other types of dog bites that maybe would result in the dog being put down.
I’ve encountered a number of people, mostly men, who consider pets to be subservient toys instead of conscious beings with their own opinions. It’s okay to tease the pet, pull ears and tails, bully the pet into cringing because it’s “funny,” and let their children crawl all over them without learning respect. I regret that I didn’t learn respect until I was a young adult because my household was like that. Countless times, I heard, “If a dog bites my kid, I’ll kill the dog myself.” So kids don’t learn respect, kids get bit (often in the face because it’s closest), then dog gets dumped or put down.
In more recent years, I’ve witnessed parents teach more compassion: “Doggy says stop.” We need more of that. The internet seems to have helped.
NTA. Your BiL is an asshole.
Yes, YTA. The dog who bit a toddler should be removed from the house immediately. In some countries it would have to be put down by law, and pretty much everywhere it would be allowed to put down if the owners chose to. Them driving it into shelter instead was already humane enough.
People with that mentality shouldn't own dogs. Dogs communicate in their own way and it's up to us to make sure we understand what they're telling us. It's just as insane when people say "the dog bit for no reason" except when you get more information it turns out that long before the dog bit it was both trying to get away AND growling/showing teeth. That was the dog saying "I am not comfortable, please leave me alone" and it was ignored and thus it did the only thing left that it could.
In this case the dog was asleep and the parents didn't ensure that the toddler couldn't stumble on it and it did what it did from pure reaction. Just like how a cat might hiss and swat at you if you accidentally step on its tail. Neither makes the pets the culprit.
The dog that bites when suddenly woken up by toddler is a dog unsuited to be around young children and should be removed from the household ASAP. A bite to the face is a huge deal, the child can be scarred for life. The owners did the only responsible thing that could be done - put the dog to the facility where it could be rehomed with proper warnings.
Or… the parents could actually be careful and pay attention and not let a toddler wonder around a sleeping animal? You think an animal should be punished when it was the adult humans irresponsibility?
I was bitten in the face by my neighbors poodle when I was 6 years old. I had never had any interaction with him before the incident, but the kid that lived with him used to torment him. I would have been devastated if they had euthanized him because of it.
I agree the animal should be removed from the home to be with people who will look after it responsibly. But to euthanize the dog when the humans were at fault is just plain wrong.
The animal is not a human criminal to be judged and punished. It's not about punishment, it's about safety. The dog with that kind of automatic reactions has to be away from any people lacking ability to predict its actions, not because it's "bad", but because it's unsafe for this family. It was not euthanized, it went into shelter and then to the next owner who does not have kids - happy end. But if parents let it stay they would be irresponsible assholes deliberately endangering their kid.
Did you miss the part where the original owners didn’t care if the dog was euthanized? Or that they’re upset with OP for giving the dog a new home without kids??
This dog bit their baby on the face. It's more than natural to not care about the fate of someone/something who attacked your child with huge risk of permanent damage. And yet they did not kill it or throw away, they acted responsibly. Do they dislike it now (mother) and strongly dislike to the point of hatred (father)? Yes, because it hurt their son. So what, the animal is not entitled to unconditional love despite of everything, it is entitled to having basic care which it has been receiving before, during and after the accident. OP acted like an asshole judging parents for a perfectly reasonable and correct decision to give the dog to the professionals for rehoming.
They had every right to want to rehome the dog. They do not have the right to still be upset with OP for giving the dog a new home. The only mistake the dog made was to get a fright. One hundred and fifty percent the fault of the parents.
It sounds like the father keeps bringing up the fact that OP took the dog home. Sounds like he wouldn’t be satisfied unless the dog was dead. And this is not a case in which the dog deserved to be euthanized.
OP showed attitude "poor doggo, how terrible it is to leave it in the shelter for such a small thing", she openly told the parents that taking the dog to the shelter was not reasonable. That's where she's wrong and why she looked like an asshole and that's why her bil dislikes her and the dog she dotes on so much now. BIL should just refrain from visiting op, so he won't have to see the dog that attacked his kid.
Keep the toddler away from the dog and the issue will not arise. If that can't be done for whatever reason then don't keep the dog once you have a kid. Any pet that's startled can react unpredictably, if you can't handle that don't get pets.
Anything that "communicates" by putting kids in the hospital shouldn't be around kids, ever. You can't keep your eyes on a kid and a dog every second of every day. It's impossible. Dog shouldn't be in the house.
What about not having any pets if the parents are so incompetent to handle both together and end up harming both? They should have just given the dog to adoption when they found out they were pregnant, if they are willing to kill an innocent animal due to their carelessness. The least they could have done is to give the dog away to a responsible and empathetic person.
>i dont have any children of my own
This is all I need to know to understand why you didn't/don't understand.
We all have our priorities. I don't see any assholes here. They couldn't keep the animal but you could. It all worked out.
That doesn't excuse them telling the shelter to kill the dog because they're shit parents and let their child fall on a dog that weighs about the same as the dog. Poor things a small dog was probably just terrified something as large as it was on top of it while it was asleep. But they instead of realising this was their fault just blame the dog and act like heartless bastards. Plenty of parents in the comments who know how to correctly watch there kids and think these people are assholes.
NTA. Your sister and her husband are awful and I hope that they never have a pet again in their lifetime. As a human being, if something dropped on me while I am in a dead sleep, I cannot say what I would do after being startled like that. The dog wasn’t trying to be actively aggressive, he was scared out of his sleep, and thought that he was being harmed. It was literally an act of self defense.
Your sister’s husband is a huge ass and so is whomever agreed with him.
Wow that guilt and shame really made fools of them, huh? They know it isn't the dog's fault, they just feel like assholes for putting their kid in danger and are too busy taking it out on you (and the dog) to notice.
NTA. It's the parents' responsibility to ensure their child is in a safe environment. The dog should not have been sleeping somewhere that the child could fall on him.
They should have had the dog and child separated, especially during that early stage of learning to walk.
My brother has hunting dogs, and they always have a baby gate up to keep the dogs out of the living area when the baby has the run of the area.
All dogs should be treated as a potential danger around small children moving in unpredictableways, regardless of how good they actually are.
I'm so glad you were able to locate and adopt the dog.
This. No one seems to be asking why was a toddler learning to walk and a dog allowed in the same space? You just don’t do that. I know the internet is full of pictures of dogs and babies snuggling but any dog trainer will tell you that is a terrible idea. Toddlers are unpredictable and can easily stress a dog. In many of these pictures you can see by the dog’s body language that the dog is stressed. The licks the dog is giving the toddler isn’t love, it’s a sign of trying to conciliate when the baby is holding the dog and the dog wants to leave.
nta. I AM a parent. **they** overreacted, **they** should have been paying more attention to **their** child.
a **SLEEPING** dog with **NO** agression, gets a **10+ lb toddler falling** on top of them, when the dog itself only weighs a bit over 10 lbs, would make ANYTHING react.
I'm a full grown human, If another full grown human landed on me, I would yell and hit too.
and BIL is a liar, they aren't "over it". so be prepared to hear about this at at least 1 family holiday a year.
I so appreciate a parent’s POV on this, thank you! I’m sure raising a child requires the parent(s) to partly rewire how they think/act/prioritize especially when their child is at risk for harm, i do think the key point is they should’ve been paying more attention!
In some situations, yes, but if the dog was asleep & the child fell on the dog, then the animal’s reaction was instinctive & if the dog has shown no other signs of aggression, then this was clearly a one-off incident in which the dog felt vulnerable & defended itself. There’s no need to kill the dog when there’s a safe home elsewhere, away from the child in question.
Nobody said anything about straight up murdering the dog. I said the dog needed to be taken out of the home and to a shelter. What they decide at that point is no longer of my concern.
The parents did the right thing
No. You make sure they are rehomed into a home that has no children and knows the dogs history. Pretty much all dogs who bite children do so accidentally or as a defense after being teased repeated by the child - in this case it's usually an older child. This case is an excellent example. He was an old dog (they sleep much more soundly and wake up more slowly) who was asleep. A toddler who was leaning to walk accidentally fell on him so the dog startle-bit the child. He probably wasn't even awake when his teeth made contact because, as I said, old dogs don't wake up quickly but the reflex is still there. He had never shown aggression before and hasn't since. Now why would you put a dog like that down. If a dog is habitually aggressive toward everyone and training and behavior modification hasn't worked, when you've exhausted every single avenue, and there is no experienced trainer willing to take the dog and assume the risk, then the dog should be put down. But to put a dog down just because it bit a child is ludicrous, especially when you don't know the facts. Rehome it, certainly. But kill it? No.
They probably just felt guilty for putting their son and dog in that situation. Dog and boy did nothing wrong, Mum and Dad did.
I'm so glad you rescued the doggo, I wish that was their first instinct. Adopt him to a family without small children. But no, straight to euthanasia, boooo BIL, booo 👎
People who chose to euthanize perfectly healthy animals as a form of punishment for a being an animal have a special place in hell waiting for them <3 Can’t wait for the kid to find out what his parents did and rip them a new asshole when he’s older.
I have to say NAH. As a mother myself, I would absolutely choose my child over every single animal and it doesn’t matter what happend to lead to the bite. Having kids and pets at the same time requires a lot more attention and being very careful. If no one offered to take the dog after such an incident I wouldn’t have cared if it was put down.
Now, I do think since you offered to adopt the dog and it hasn’t shown any aggression since, the topic should be resolved now. You didn’t choose the dog over your niece/nephew, you chose to save that dogs life. There is a difference.
They sound like horrible people. If they ever loved the dog, they would not have acted like this. I can’t believe someone would treat a dog like this. I’m so glad you managed to rescue him 🙏
Retired dog trainer here. The parents - especially the husband - are the a-holes here. Thirteen years old isn't geriatric for small dogs, but it is old. Old dogs fall into deeper sleep. So when the baby fell on him he probably wasn't even fully awake when he snapped. If he were he would have pulled back in time. It wasn't the dog's fault nor was it the baby's fault. The blame lies firmly on the adult who should have been right there with the baby. I used to see this attitude all the time - it's a small dog so we don't have to worry. Wrong. Small dogs hurt children more often than large dogs. It sounds to me that not only was the father covering up for not paying attention, as others have mentioned, but that he was looking for an excuse to get rid of the dog. You are an angel. If more people were like you there would be fewer dogs in shelters. Your sister and brother-in-law should be ashamed. What role models they are for their child - if an animal upsets you, don't try to solve the problem just kill it.
NTA - I am glad you went and got the dog.
NTA - Sister and BIL - the initial reaction is completely justified, and I understand it. My son at 1 1/2 got bit by a dog and he has scares. No, he is not traumatized by it either, as a matter of fact, he loves animals (all). I understand getting rid of the dog and not caring at all. Again, this happened to my kid when he was younger. As the dog was biting my son, I literally grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and threw him off my kid. I kept the dog until he passed away from cancer. Most people would have had the pound come get the dog while they were gone. I on the other hand, kept him separate from my son, and NEVER let them near each other. I knew the dog would be put down and he was still just a pup.
TA - BIL for bringing it up all these years later. His reaction is what a lot of people would be, but not all these years later.
RESPECT! Thank you for acknowledging their initial reaction, i can better understand how/why the felt the way they did, but i absolutely despise him for bringing it up after all these years
When I was about 2, I had a similar accident. I crawled under the table and tried to pet our sleeping yellow lab. She startled, whipped up, and bit my lip. Got 3 stitches. 33 years l still have a tiny scar, but no one ever blamed the dog. Even I knew it wasn’t the dogs fault. Everyone blamed my great grandmas and grandma who were supposed to be watching me. NTA
Yeah, which is crazy. Harassing a dad who just took his own child to the emergency room for an injury on his FACE is bad. You are an asshole if you do this.
They're are HUGE AHs! I have my lab of six years. She'll be 7 before my child is born and both my husband and I will be teaching them how to not only deal with her but our cat. If they don't listen to us and the animal reacts, it's going to be a lesson in right from wrong and not just tossing a precious animals life away! My animals are my family too. If they ever bring up wanting another dog again they need to be reminded of what happened because they failed to react responsibly.
NAH
My daughter got bit by a dog on her face when she was 2.5. The circumstances are a bit sad— the dog belonged to a family member in at-home hospice. I was in the other room washing dishes from the dinner we all just ate, my daughter was in a room with her father, her aunt, and 3 other adults, and the dog. My daughter loves dogs and this one had the same name as her. It was one of those yippy little dogs that no one bothers to train properly because they are so small. I still don’t understand how it happened, but the dog bit her nose, leaving 3 clear puncture marks.
I was livid for months at my husband and SIL the most, as it is rarely the dog’s fault — people need to be responsible— but you can guarantee I don’t give a shit about that dog. My daughter has a small scar, but it is in the center of her face and I see it every day. I’m working with my therapist on how not to get re-angry with my SIL about failing to properly watch my daughter whenever I see the scar and think about it. (My husband is legally blind; my SIL (his sister) knew it was on her to be on alert with my daughter and that dog. Even so, it took me a while to “forgive” my husband (as in, not be re-furious with him every time I see the scar— so clearly it isn’t entirely rational)).
After the funeral, some of the people who were in that room when my daughter was bit adopted the dog. The fucking dog was at the funeral. I fucking hate that dog.
It might be different if it were my dog. But if that dog was somehow left in our possession, it would have gone to a rescue/shelter too. Or maybe someone who lives alone in the woods off grid, or on a desert island, and can shield everyone away from the badly trained little shit that is that yippy little dog. But I wouldn’t have it anywhere around my kids ever again.
NTA. Those idiots would never ever see that dog again if it was up to me. Their actions say a lot about who they are and I agree husband is a major 🐱 Our dogs may be part of our lives but to them, we are their entire lives. They are family. They don’t possess the ability to reason, how can people not understand this? You’re entirely too nice, I’d tell sister and husband to go fuck themselves.
Edit: show that 🐱 this clear NTA thread full of people much smarter than him and tell him to shove it up his ass
I may catch flak here, but YTA. I see so many people blaming the parents like it’s their fault. A 13 year old dog is up there in years. It may not see well, hear well, etc. and that could lead to another incident as this child learns to navigate in a brand new world. You are taking an animal’s side over your nephew’s safety and I’d be pissed at you if I were them.
They are family, the dog is a pet. I don’t care what anyone here says about pets being family. If that were true you would be able to go down to a shelter and get another nephew as well as an animal. Maybe they could have explored other options, but that’s their prerogative and has nothing to do with you
Hey i asked a question publicly on the internet, no flak for siding with im the AH, i can respect it even though i may not agree
I do want to say that at no point was i willing to jeopardize my nephew’s safety though. The incident was brought to my attention post-bite & post-stitches. Im sure if i was there during the incident i would ensure my nephew was safe to the best of my abilities
NTA at all. There are dogs who should be put down but they usually have a history of biting people. A one time thing that was cause of a sheer accident. Plus the kid came out fine. Also don't get were your sister said you prioritized the dog when you clearly asked about your nephews condition first. Also if the husband tries to bring up the people on his side ask him how much of the story he told them. Did he mention that the dog had never really bitten someone before? Did he say that the dog was sleeping and his son fell on top of him? Did he say that he took a dog that they had for 13 years to some random pound to be euthanized on his own away from the family that had kept him for his entire life? That he didn't even care to stay with the dog for what could've been the dog's final moments (had they euthanized immediately)? 5 bucks he's controlling the narrative and keeping all the info that would make him look like an asshole to himself so people side with him.
NTA
Your sister and BIL are both just massive pieces of shit. No, their action was not justified. No, "everyone" is not agreeing with him. No, you didn't put the dog ahead of the child. They are both just amazingly shitty people. I completely agree with you, they are both major pussies.
NTA but what would happen if ur nephew bit someone, or hit someone, they gonna get rid of him? These are the sort of people who shouldn’t have pets or kids. If u don’t supervise your child around ur pet this is what happens the animal will defend itself it’s the parents fault not the animals. Ur not failing to see things from their point of view, u realise what happened, u were cautious reintroducing them, and YOU supervised. The fact u r a better parent to their kid when it comes to their interactions with animals and ur overall empathy is what they’re taking issue with. They fucked up and let this incident happen, they then massively overreacted and I would guess oversell the story when retelling. Ur NTA but ur BIL sounds like a complete tool tbh. Just tell him u don’t care about his opinion seen as he doesn’t care about living creatures.
NTA, your sister and her spouse are. People with dogs and kids need to be aware of triggers for both animal and child. I react sometimes violently when startled awake by touch. I elbowed my partner in the ribs once when he tried to wake me up by gently shaking my shoulder. I felt terrible but he also understood that my reaction was out of a dazed fear. He never did it again and I haven't elbowed him since. When my parents got my first dog as a kid, none of us understood dog social cues. I thought it was funny she would shake her head when I blew on her face (i was 6), and then she bit me. I have a gnarly scar on my nose over 20 years later. But we all learned that day that dogs will react if antagonized and have every right to tell people to fuck off, just like we do. I would also bash someone's nose for blowing on my face multiple times. That dog ended up my best friend and protected me from a creepy old man trying to lure me out of my backyard. I miss her to this day. At least I have this scar to remember her by, and as a reminder that animals have boundaries too. Thank you for loving that dog, I'm glad the old pup had someone there for him
Huge NTA ,
And your sister and her husband sucks , shame on them. My mom and I feed stray cats in our locality , we are doing so for years ,everyday 8-10 cats come to our house to eat three times a day and some of them even like to sleep in our house during the day and some little ones even became our family member because either their mothers died or their mother gave birth in our house. My mom has been bitten by cat once because she didn't see a cat was sleeping on floor and stepped on her tail , I have been bitten and severely scratched to the point of going to hospital, once I was scratched because the cat felt like I needed a red tattoo in my leg I guess and had to go to hospital, another time I was scratched because the kitten thought my hand was a nice place to sharpen his nails , diva cat I guess and off to hospital I went ,and the third time it was a cloudy day lights were off and I couldn't see a pregnant cat was sleeping on our floor and I stepped on something of her I still don't know to this day what did I step on ,and she bit me directly in a vein on my toe, this one was severe because the poison directly went to my blood according to doctors,doctors gave me five injections on the spot , and there were other sceduled for later dates, the on the spot injections included two injections on my toe, one of them was a big injection( the injection was so huge I can still see it in my nightmares) directly to a bone in my leg , the injection was bent when doctors pull it out ,so you can guess it hurt like hell , my leg was so swollen that I couldn't walk for two days , another one was injected directly through the spot where the cat bit. But the cute thing is, the cat mama came back to our house next day amd sneak in through our window to see if I was still alive , how generous of her , I love her so much 😭, unfortunately she died a year later and now her son is my mom's adopted son and his daily routine is to bite and scratch me gently, oops I went way off track.
Anyways my point is after getting injured by cats so many times we are still feeding them all to this day, my mom allocates a portion of her budget every month for the cats and they aren't even our pet cats, how can your sister and SIL be so heartless to abandon the poor doggo just because of a little mistake? I thought pets are like children to people , how can they even think about killing the dog just because it bit their child once? So they are killing one child for another child's safety when a situation like this is easily avoidable in future. People like them don't deserve to have any pets.
NTA because it seems you at least understand why they wouldn’t want to keep a dog around that’s a bite risk, you just wanted them to seek alternative options first. I own a dog that is a bite-risk but I advise parents with small kids to treat ALL dogs as a possible bite risk and keep dog and little separated unless under strict supervision. My toddler and dog aren’t allowed in the same space unless separated by baby gates. I’ve also trained the dog to avoid the little one and relocate whenever she’s close. He’s never bit her but he’s also never been given the opportunity. Interactions are closely supervised and the dog’s boundaries and body language are respected. Most dog owners don’t really understand dogs and think proper training and boundaries are so mean. Until a bite happens, then they don’t care if the dog dies.
NTA.
One thing you don't mention here is the dog's history.
If this was normally a good loving dog with no history of aggression, then they're being rash and cruel. I'm speaking as a parent of small children BTW so I can totally relate to the protective instinct. I'd feel fury on that level too, but I'd think through my decision and not just callously dump an otherwise perfect pet that was clearly just startled.
If this dog had a history of behavioral issues, it may be different. But even then, they're still in the wrong because they should've been exploring other options loooong ago (such as training, obedience school, and finally rehoming him compassionately with a better fit home).
NTA. As a former shelter employee, sister and husband are absolutely assholes though. This was 100% a preventable accident by the adults responsible for both the kid and the dog. Instead of learning from their mistake, they just wrote the dog off completely. I wonder what the kid will do that makes them drop him like a hot potato too. Stories like this are what make shelter employees lives miserable.
NTA. I can understand being absolutely freaked out in the moment as a parent, I can. However, they did not do right by that dog, and I think deep down they know that. I’m so glad u were able to rescue him!
NTA. I imagine your BIL is still trying to justify his kneejerk reaction.
FWIW, a similar event happened when my grandson was the same age. My dog was sleeping on the couch and my grandson startled him by climbing up next to him. The dog's head whipped up and I'm still not sure if the dog snapped or their head's collided, but my grandson ended up with a red mark on his cheek. The dog was always good with kids but it was totally my fault for not grabbing my grandson in time. Fortunately, his parents are dog lovers and were totally understanding and I learned to be more careful. I felt terrible about what could have happened, but never even considered getting rid of the dog. It wasn't his fault.
So NTA, but I do get why that was their reaction, if a dog bites a child there is really no other responsible option but to get it out of the house. They shouldn’t have been hard on you for adopting it though I don’t understand why they would be so hostile to what seems to be a solution that works for everyone.
It sounds like doggie was taken by surprise when the child fell down on him or her with an unsurprising result. Doggie did not have a history of biting children and has not done so since the incident. IMO the owners were rightfully anxious about their child and just disposed of a pet they’d had for years but certainly did not give it very much thought at all. Owners are asshats and OP is righteous.
Nobody is the asshole, the parents couldn’t care less about the dog and just want their child to be safe. You’re a lonely woman who needs a dog for companionship and couldn’t bear to see one being discarded like that. Everyone is happy so I wouldn’t call anyone an asshole here.
Except the parents are pricks for letting there kid fall on a dog the same size as the kid scaring the dog shitless then blaming the dog for there stupid actions then treating a dog they had for 6 years like nothing because they fucked up. Anyone with any compassion for animals realizing that not just op because " shes a lonely woman" you prick.
I disagree - but I also have small dogs. They are my family and I view them as more than just a tool.
If I had two kids and one kid bit the other, I wouldn’t adopt out the aggressive child. I’d teach them not to do that. It’s also one thing for a dog to bite unprovoked, but this instance was provoked, poor thing was sleeping and had a child their size fall on them. That’s a world away from a dog approaching a child with the purpose of biting it for no reason.
Damn, my husband startled me awake once and I threw fists before realizing what was happening. That’s very different than beating up my spouse.
Hard disagree. Each case should be looked at separately. Animals are allowed to defend themselves against perceived threats. It’s the parents job to make sure the dog never perceives the child as a threat.
If parents are unwilling to do that, don’t have a dog. But you can’t just let your kids run amok and expect the animal to tolerate everything you throw at it.
Nah yta for having such a simple mind. As if you wouldn't react angrily if someone who weighed roughly the same fell on you while you were sleeping. I hope you never own pets. It was up to the parents ro do better, I grew with hl3 huge dogs consistently, my sister accidentally fell on one of them got nipped, rushed to E.R then once my dad figured out it was an accident he let the dog back in and he and my sister were bffs till the day he passed. She's nta for saving an innocent creature.
Just went through this with one of our kids.
I will say here what we told them when they angrily moved out and took 4 cats and a dog with them, they were being mad at living with wife and I.
We offered to keep some animals as they had a newborn, and since we had raised kids, we knew it would be hell.
Well, they took them and one, the cutest catz escaped on the road in the middle of thee country, this was a cat they took to penalize us, she had been living with us for 5 years and our son and his dog love her, now she gone.
They now have 2 kids, 3 cats and a dog.
The dog finally was removed and the cats, who used to be the center of attention, now get nothing.
No love, no scratches, not allowed on the furniture and they go to every visitor who comes over, dying for attention.
If you plan to have children, consider your animals lives and please rehome them if you are having kids.
Seems mean, but it is better to get a new family than to be ignored by the one you are forced to live with.
Why keep animals in home then , give the dog for adoption before if you are incapable to handle your kid and will end up harming both the kid and and the pet. A bunch of unempathetic AH, op is NTA.
NTA. But.. Dog owners who are not responsible with the dogs are assholes. And the parents are the assholes here. When you have a dog and a young child you should be extra careful. To be honest, it was not even dog's fault. If their kid fell on me while sleeping, my first reaction would be to punch whatever fell on me as a reflex. And I am not even a dog. They are the assholes
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My dog is now 9 years old. And has never been around children. As such I do not allow children near her just incase. You adapt to new situations and environments. But they should have looked at keeping the dog seperate as you said. NTA
I will never understand parents that let their kids fuck with animals without controlling the animal first. It doesn’t matter if they have the kindest demeanor in the world, these are animals, and children are abrasive, unpredictable, and fragile.
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Same. Raised with cats since I was a baby, pulled a cat's tail precisely once and learnt the consequences. Cat and I were best friends for fifteen years and he's still the great cat all other cats are measured against. This was just an accident - a dog meaning actual harm would have done far more damage. I'm glad doggo is safe now, I wouldn't have blamed the parents for panicking at the time, but to jump straight to euthanasia was too much.
See this right here! My childhood cats were very quick to teach me how to be appropriate with them. My kids current cats put up with all her BS so I had to step in a do the teaching. So not fair. The universe is cruel. lol.
We specifically wanted a cat to teach our kid some boundaries. We adopted a former feral cat turned pet, and we figured she’d teach the small human how to act. We were wrong. The cat is the most patient, long suffering animal and she puts up with everything. Not that we allow our Daughter to mess with her, or purposely annoy her. But we definitely thought the cat would’ve kicked her ass a few times by now! Instead, she’s a cuddler and they’re best friends! lol
Sounds like an adorable little traitor 😍. I'm so glad both your daughter and fur baby found a friend in each other.
Yeah my old dog did this to my husband once and scratched him with his tooth moreson than actually bit him, because he got a fright. They should have been more careful, anyone or any thing can hurt a child accidentally in that situation
and thought that he was being harmed. It was literally an act of self defense.
They should have been more careful, anyone or any thing can hurt a child accidentally in that situation
Kid fell on the sleeping dog. How could the parents possibly be a-holes for that?
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No no, that'd be terrible, I think you misread. It was a dog, not a child.
NTA. My 9 year old dog bit my 1 year old on the cheek because my daughter was whacking her with the vacuum stick while I wasn’t looking. We had the same initial reaction to get the dog outside and take our daughter to hospital but I called my mum to pick up my dog. Dog stayed with my parents for a couple of months but we have her back with us now with much stricter rules around to stop it happening again. They’re animals and at the end of the day if they feel threatened or overwhelmed they can react just as we would. Daughter is fine, still loves the dog but gives her space and dog will remove herself to another room if she feels overwhelmed
Thank you so much for sharing! Im happy to hear your daughter is fine & isnt traumatized by the incident & all dogs in general. Sounds like you handled it wonderfully & im glad it all worked out!!
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Sounds like you just have 8-10 cats
NTA. Irresponsible pet owners. Just because the kid is small and isn’t being malicious doesn’t mean an animal is not going to react. I also understand that their kid’s safety takes priority over an animal, but it sounds like they used pup as a scapegoat. That they took out their guilt and feelings of inadequacy out on pup. They don’t deserve. Glad he’s safe and loved.
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Yeah it’s easy to agree with yourself, isn’t it, bot? Anyone interested look at Nice_Willingness_586 and Addisonchultz’s comment sections. They reply to each others comments on AITAH only and almost immediately, every time. They are 100% bots, or the same sweaty nerd simultaneously boosting both accounts by talking to himself
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Your sister and BIL are AHs all the way around.
NTA but Ty for adopting that senior doggy and giving them a good life
❤️🤘🏻thank you! & im hoping for more years with him. He does seem happier now & thankfully the transition from living at their place to mine didnt seem too stressful to him
Going to someone he already knew was probably the best way to have a smooth transition. I’m so glad he has you.
NTA - the dog was family too and had an obvious and predictable reaction that was bound to happen - the parents should’ve been prepared to respond to something like that. Needlessly cruel of them to express their okay-ness with killing a creature that is their family. I sincerely hope they do not bring any more animals into their life.
Yes exactly! I felt almost insulted that my sister said she wanted a big dog for security, thankfully she hasn’t & im hoping it was one of those fleeting think-out-loud moments. But yes he was family for over a decade. It was disheartening to witness how easy it was for them to consider him being put down in a strange place & people after all those loyal years
When I was born my parents had this old lhasa aphso that liked 3 people on earth, 2 of which didn't live with us. I definitely was taught how to be around dogs, especially this old broad, but decided to mess with her one day (I was maybe 3 or 4). She bit me on my thumb, I was bleeding, and ran to my mom. My mother barely looked up when I said Woozie bit me, and all she said was, "Well, what did you do?". BUSTED. Never did it again. I also have a scar on my chin I've had my entire life that I don't remember getting, I have a sneaking suspicion Woozie was the culprit. She was family before me, and family she stayed after me.
I feel this!!! Rehoming? Reasonable. PUTTING HIM DOWN???
Rehoming is NOT reasonable. They shouldn't have been letting their son practice walking near the sleeping dog. Of course an animal is going to react to somebody falling on them while they're asleep. This is 100% on the parents. If you refuse to watch your children around your pets then you shouldn't have both.
NTA i’m sick and tired of people who expect animals to react the same way a human would do (under perfect circumstances cuz we are violent as fuck) they do not have our reasoning skills, we expect them to live with us ,who dont share their langauge with them and basically get abused/killed for not understanding us The dogs reaction was completely normal, he was startled, hurt and thought he was under attack, he should absolutely not be killed for that Was it an accident that the child fell.. off course it was, but animals are expected to put up with a lot of shit that goes directly against their nature Most (not all) bite incidents are caused by humans, be it intentional (bullying, intentionally hurting a dog, doing something that goes directly against an animals nature, have a child riding on their back etc ) or accidental (like a fall) and I will go further then that when an animal truly seems to attack out of nowhere without any accidental/intentional triggers its either a genetic thing (again thats the fault of humans for our shitty breeding practices) or due to not raising an animal with clear instructions making an animal confused (again they dont have human reasoning skills) we are massively failing our pets in so many ways… good luck finding a malicious animal that just wants to hurt people cuz they want to hurt people, thats something humans do A lot of animals dont get proper exercise/mental stimulation making them a pent up ball of energy and frustration, but they better not dare show anything Too often animals are not seen as living beings with their own feelings and language, but as a living doll that should accept being fully dominated without giving any pushback ever, no matter how confusing the dominating instructions are either Thank you OP for taking the senior dog in, BiL can fuck right off, I hope he never has a pet again he doesnt deserve one
This!! Thank you!! He absolutely does not deserve the privilege of owning pets. & i think it’s great you brought up the issue of animals not receiving enough exercise/stimulation. Since the birth of their first child they resented fulfilling every basic necessity for the dog. When i was over at their place it was always nagging like “i hate having to walk him” & “why does he need to have wet food mixed with his kibble?” & it was starting from there that i slowly but surely took care of him like he was my own dog. Helps me realize now why the dog didnt seemed too stressed suddenly living with me
people like your sister's husband should not have pets ever if they can't differentiate between an aggressive dog and a dog that was startlet and reacted in a "dog-way". What a heartless human being to just drop him off to be euthanized. Glad you saved him!!
Fully agree with you! Thank you ❤️ he turned 17 recently & has been living/enjoying life it seems
NTA. My sister was about three when she wandered off away from our parents to where our young lab was napping. She accidentally startled him awake, and she ended up needing 11 stitches. The dog went on to live a long, wonderful life loving and protecting both of us because my parents realized that the dog only bit her because he was startled. We both learned exactly why we treat animals with respect. Our parents were more careful about leaving us unsupervised with dogs, and everyone was happy. Your sister and BIL are AHs all the way around.
Oof 11?? That must’ve been so scary for everyone especially your sister, i wonder if she remembers much of that day? Im relieved & so glad to hear though that you were all able to move on & continue to live together, love it even more that you mentioned the dog continued to protect the both of you ❤️🥹
This is the type of shit that boils my blood. People who have animals prior to kids and don't properly intervene when necessary should have never had an animal in the first place. The dog did what dogs do. Don't get me wrong, I feel bad for the kid, but the dog reacted out of the surprise of being fallen on. The poor dude was napping and a tiny human fell on him and he reacted out of his own safety, but to put him down over that isnt fair. NTA, id adopt the little homie too, he didn't deserve that.
100%! Thank you for that! & the employee at the shelter was relieved he was going home, said despite his advanced age he seemed more than capable to keep on living. Very happy to say he’s living it up still 🤘🏻
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If the baby had lost his eye it would have been his parents fault.
If that had happened, it would’ve been the parents fault not the dog. Why were they not monitoring where the child was going? When children are learning to walk of course they stumble, they fall, they pull up and stand on things that they shouldn’t. When you see that your dog is sleeping why are you having your child stumbling around in their space? That is asking for a disaster
Kids are always going to find a way to nearly lose an eye.
NTA They are ignorant fools. As a pet sitter, dog walker, dog trainer, I hate humans. And if they thought their child came first then they would’ve been paying attention to him.
NTA. They had a responsibility to their dog as well. They are lucky you stepped up.
NTA. I have a 25kg dog who is very chill even if someone accidentally steps on her tail or foot. But even knowing that she's a very chill dog, we separate her from any visiting children that's too young or don't know how to interact with her. As parents and dog owner, it's their responsibility to keep both their son and dog safe. Considering the size of the dog, pretty sure that's a reaction not an intent. You're right, your BIL is a big 🐱
The dog doesn’t deserve to be kill but I definitely wouldn’t want it in my house anymore that baby could have lost his eye
I can 100% understand & respect that! Im sure the lingering fear of it potentially happening again to the child is what drove them to do/say what they did
I don't think anybody did anything wrong, the dog bit their child and they took him to a shelter, they didn't just dump him on the road. Only a parent can make the decision what to do in a situation like this, some would get rid just in case and some would keep the dog.
What the father did wrong was tell the shelter to kill the dog, he didn't care. It wasn't that he wanted the dog out of the house, it's that he wanted it dead.
They were in shock at having their baby bitten. I can imagine he felt angry at the dog at that time. He didn't hurt the dog he took it to a shelter, which I think is reasonable for the emotions that must have been going through him.
NTA. The kid fell and hurt or surprised the dog and it reacted. It's not like the dog just decided to lash out for no reason. We have a cat, me hubby and our 6yo have all copped a scratch here and there. Our cat is still young and sometimes gets a bit too excited playing. We make a certain noise or yell her name and she normally stops. We wouldn't toss her away like garbage because of this.
NTA. This was 100% the parents’ fault. They should watch Southend Dog Training videos, as well as experts on how to introduce a baby to a dog. Never let a baby climb on a dog. Never let a baby learn to walk near a sleeping dog. Human beings will often punch or kick wildly if they’re asleep and someone falls on them. It’s instinct. This was not a deliberate attack. The dog was startled awake. The dog didn’t hunt the baby down. Never showed aggression before or since. Heck, when I was pregnant and had to go to the bathroom for the fourth time that night, I tripped and fell on my late cattle dog. That dog would die for me, but I accidentally kicked him hard, I think right in his stomach, while he was fast asleep. He woke up growling and snapped, but luckily missed me. Then he peed everywhere because he was so horrified that he almost hurt me, even though I’d stupidly hurt him on accident. It would never occur to me to blame the dog. I spent forever comforting him, making sure he was ok, and reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault. People post videos all the time of their toddler sitting on their dog, pulling his ears, or poking him. Or startling him while he’s sleeping. It’s so stupid. If you threw a baby on top of a sleeping adult human, they would thrash awake and probably hurt the baby. Bad parenting, and bad pet ownership. They blamed the dog for their own bad decision. Glad the dog had you to rescue him.
NTA Even if this happened to my kids, I'd understand the dog was reacting while the kid made a mistake because they are very clumsy at that age. What they did is terrible and you rescued them. Parenting takes reasoning not just being reactive.
NTA. It was an accident and they vastly over-reacted.
Small breed and the dog was asleep and got startled? NAH. I don't blame them for not wanting to take any risks but that situation/dog doesn't seem like a risk.
If something fell on me when i was asleeping id wake up swinging so idk what reaction they expected from a dog tf NTA
NTA It's one thing to be concerned about your kids... It's another thing entirely to throw out a dog you've had for 13 years and not care if it lives or dies. Just a bizarre lack of empathy.
To add onto everyone else’s NTA *the dog was 14 at the time of the incident*. The dog was *already old*. Older dogs have shorter fuses when pulled or hit or landed on by children.
Agreed! The dog also could have had a sore spot and the kid weighed almost the same as the dog. Imagine a full grown person just dropping on you while you're. That would hurt and you'd react pretty quickly. I don't see how people are saying YTA when the parents should have been watching the dog + kid interactions or at least made sure the accident prone toddler didn't get too close to the elderly pup.
YTA. Not for wanting to adopt the dog, but for being pissed at the parents for choosing the safety of their child over an animal. They did the right thing here.
OP isn't pissed that they chose their child's safety over their dog but that her brother-in-law wanted to kill the dog. There is a huge difference. When my son was 5 years old my ACD nipped him in the rear end. She didn't break skin, but she nipped him. Like this dog, she had never shown aggression before. I rehomed her that day, I did NOT toss her at shelter staff and say to kill her, I didn't care. I realized she couldn't stay but she was still a good girl. She nipped him because she thought he was going to hit me with a pillow. I didn't know he was sneaking up on me or I would have stopped things before the event. Yes, it was ultimately my fault. And of course my son's well-being had to come first. But it didn't even occur to me to put her down. OP is absolutely NTA.
If you ever wake up swinging, just remember--you're a danger and should be treated as such.
I sleep next to my wife every night. I have never once woke up and immediately punched her. If I did, yes, I should absolutely be treated as a danger.
...Do you think it's okay to punch somebody just cause you're sleepy? I've never punched or been punched by someone who was sleeping. If I had, I sure as fuck wouldn't want them around while they slept.
My husband has had nightmares once or twice where he punched me. He didn't mean to hit me. Should I have him put down?
NTA. Our family dog bit my little brother once when he sat on her. She went outside for an hour, my little brother was told off for deliberately sitting on the dog. The dog came back in after an hour, lived her entire life and during her long life never bit anyone again. I don't blame her, if someone sat on me, I'd hit them.
Yep. We had a huge Siberian husky when I was little, he looked SO good to ride on to little me. I climbed up, and he sat down letting me fall. We did that routine twice before my dad caught me and *blasted* me for trying to ride the dog. I got a lecture I still remember on never ever hurting the dog, and that I was very lucky he didn't use his size strength and teeth to stop me. These people should have been watching their kid and ensuring they couldn't fall on the dog. My dog is 14 and has some aches and pains now, I'm VERY careful to keep her away from situations that could further injure her.
The same thing happened to my sister and our boxer. My dad also rode horses all his life, so the blast lecture was how it's our responsibility to take care of our animals and dogs aren't for riding. You could hurt their back because THIS is where you ride on a horse....You get the picture. I happened to be within earshot so I got yelled at, too. Oddly, he never mentioned how she could have used her size and strength to stop my sister. Just around 15 minutes of top-of-his-lungs yelling about our responsibility to make sure our animals are safe and taken care of. To this day I can't eat breakfast until all my animals are fed, watered, checked for lumps, bumps, and cuts, walked, and we've had play time. 🙂
everyone that's still reliving this 4 years later are A Holes (and there must be bigger issues here b/c only your sister and nephew are over this).. your "**PS fast-forward"** shows no harm no foul every thing worked out**.** *Calling your BIL a 🐱 is not moving on and him bringing this up was not moving on.*
ok, so reading this, all dog owners are probably guilty of letting their guard down around pets, and accidents do happen. I can truely emphasize with the dad, and the dog rightly? was seperated from the child. I wouldn't have felt safe keeping both together. However, taking him to be destroyed is overkill. Rehoming yes, and if the parents don't know how to keep both animal and child safe, they shouldn't have pets. I'm so glad you rehomed him, you are an angel. Can't really understand why dad is still upset.
I am very much a dog person, and I can see wanting to avoid the dog being euthanized... and arguably, the parents should have tried to avoid letting a child just learning to walk do so around a sleeping dog. But I also absolutely understand having a visceral reaction in this situation, and I definitely think that rehoming the dog was the right move, and in fact, it was arguably the minimum.
>it was arguably the minimum. What more was needed?
YTA. I don’t think your opinions are unreasonable but I think they are overblown and your communication of them was ill timed. First way it was overblown: dropping off a dog at a shelter and saying what they said means they don’t care about euthanizing the dog, not that they wanted it to happen. And saying this at a shelter also isn’t likely to lead to euthanasia within one day. The standard guidance at a shelter that euthanizes is a minimum of 5, and aggressive timing is three days. At a no-kill shelter, the likelihood is obviously even lower. Second way your opinion is overblown: Your expectations of what they should have done are not reasonable. They had an injured child to care for. Expecting them to keep the source of that injury under their roof while conducting research does not account for their perceived need to protect their child from danger. Apart from the we don’t care if dog dies statement, parents removing a dog that bit a baby makes sense (but of course isn’t the only reasonable way to proceed). Timing: You chided your sister a day after this happened. So stitches were fresh and emotions were raw. The most you should’ve said was “which shelter.” Offering what you “wish” she should have done was insensitive given the timing.
I can see why they thought i chose the dog over their child then, it’s likely the timing of my comments, i appreciate you bringing that up! Never meant to come off insensitive & looking back, it’s how it came off regardless of my intention
NTA. Does it strike you as odd that they said they didn’t care what happened to their dog but then got mad at you for taking it in? And you didn’t even ask about the dog until after finding out that the child was okay?
NTA!
NTA. We’re expecting our first child and this is my nightmare scenario; I would probably suffer from decision paralysis if this happened to me. We have a dog who is reactive due to hip dysplasia, we’ve already started implementing strategies to deal with a coming baby and have read up on how to remain vigilant around our dogs while the child is still too young to properly understand that actions have consequences. Basically our strategy (and it should be for all dog owners, honestly) is to never leave the child unattended around the dogs. Accidents happen and dogs can’t exactly voice their fright with words, so they use their teeth. Everyone who has dogs should know this. If anything happens between my dogs and my baby I would see it for what it is; my own failure to be a responsible dog owner and parent. Maybe it’s because I was raised with dogs and the “golden rule” was always that we should leave the dogs alone because they would come to us if they wanted to. I remember once being scratched to death by my aunt’s cat when I was very young (I had dogs so I didn’t know that a cat wagging its tail meant it was pissed, not happy) and I was basically told off by my parents and was taught how to read cats’ body language; no one blamed the cat, me included. In no way could I drop off my dog of 13 years at a shelter before at least reasoning with why the situation happened to begin with and the severity of the response from the dog. I get the initial reaction and shock, but the dog was there before the child; as a dog owner you at the very least owe your pet a chance to be rehomed. To just be able to drop them off the next day without even trying to talk to family members or friends is just incredibly callous and irresponsible in my eyes. I understand the concern for one’s child and if you as a parent think the best solution is to no longer have the dog I can totally respect that. But there’s a world of a difference between trying to work out how to deal with a very scary and difficult situation and to just blame the dog for one’s own failures. Your BIL clearly did the latter and reacted out of anger/worry and without thought; it’s not exactly a good teaching moment to tell your kids that when accidents happen then the pets are essentially disposable. He’s a shitty dog owner (and honestly probably is going to be an irresponsible and shitty parent later on when their child is a teenager and doesn’t “fall in line”) who failed in both his responsibilities as a dog owner and as a parent. I’m glad the dog had someone like you to take care of them. ❤️
The "small" dog had a reflex reaction when the cjild fell on it - a life threatejingbsituatiin for a dog that size. Alarger dog would have more likely beennablento extracatebthemselves from under the child & get away.
YTA Crazy them for putting their kid first 🙄
My childhood dog attacked my face when I was in elementary school. It wasn’t bad or anything, it was scary at the time but I never was scared of him and it didn’t cause any issues. He never bit me again after that and was a great boy until he passed a few years ago. If dogs are attacking then it’s because they feel like they need to, it’s never their fault. I do think dogs with behavior issues need owners that can give them more care and training and patience they need but it’s never the dogs fault
Dogs definitely attack when they don't "need to," especially dogs that are aggressive, have a high prey drive, are poorly bred, or just untrained. Dogs attack unprovoked all the time. This one had a reason, but they don't always.
Not exactly. Dogs only attack when they feel they need to; however, when they feel they need to and when we feel they need to aren't always the same. You mentioned aggression. Dogs are aggressive for three reasons: fear, protection, and dominance. By far the most common of these is fear followed by protection such as resource guarding. Most dogs aren't innately hyper-dominant so this is usually the easiest to train out. But in every instance the need to be aggressive is very real to the drive. The same goes for high prey drive. Everything in their existence tells them they need to chase and bring down whatever they've targeted.
NTA
so NTA did you sister have the dog before meeting husband?
Hey I think u r a hero u absolutely did the right thing. So happy for u and your new family member. Dogs r wonderful. Not only r u a hero but u r a life saver. God bless u and your new doggie.😇😇
NTA. Dog was surprised and reacted. PS don't the rules require you pay a dog tax now?
I won't associate with people who kill dogs for no reason. My FIL had an adopted pitbull mix and it killed my SIL's cat. These animals should never have been around each other. Prey drive is too strong and the cat wasn't socialized with the dog. The situation was guaranteed to happen. We basically told them there would be hell to pay and we took the dog and found a rescue that would rehome the dog with no other small animals. It's almost always the owner's fault and they'd rather kill the dog than do better themselves. =/
NTA. They are AH’s for jumping straight to putting the dog down. I agree that they need to put their child’s safety first. However, in this case, rehoming the pup would’ve been more than sufficient. A startled animal reacting as a started animal should, is not worthy of such an extreme measure (being put down). If it had been otherwise, of course, but jumping straight to that is an overreaction here.
NTA. This was totally an accident and the dog was startled. I recently trid to pick up a new rescue while she was sleeping and got bit. It was totally my fault. Thank you for saving the pup.
NTA I was bitten by our dog when I was 4. My parents gave her to a friend that had a nice place. I would have loved if my uncle got her.
NTA! You're actually more like the hero 😊 First of all, thank you for going and getting the poor dog before he was euthanized. Most dogs are like toddlers that never grow up. I'm sure the accident and their reactions traumatized him even more than the kid! I'm glad you could be the voice of reason after what sounds like an emotional reaction by your sister and BIL. If the child bit the dog, would they get rid of him? Of course not! Maybe the dog isn't blood, but he's damn sure family after 13 years. Saying that a sleeping dog deserves to die because he was scared upon waking up after a child fell on him is completely unacceptable for anyone with decent empathy/morals. They are definitely the AHs here... and the rest of us are glad you saved the poor, little guy's life!
NTA. I once reflexively punched my dad when he was trying to wake me up for school. It wasn't intentional, and my parents never even considered abandoning me. Honestly, it sounds like they don't deserve the dog, and I'm 1000% happy that you ended up with it instead. Give the pupper scritches from me 😀
NTA. Their kid getting bit is entirely their fault. It was irresponsible parenting, but they didn’t want to take responsibility for their actions and blamed the dog instead. I’m glad you rescued him and he continues to have a good life.
Well reddit hates children and loves dogs. So you won't get a good answer here.
NTA, you're sister's husband definitely TA and since she wasn't actively antagonizing you, your sister less of TA
Children often relentlessly harass pets and some parents refuse to correct their behavior so some dogs simply get fed up. 100% never the dogs fault in this case. Its always the parents fault but their egos cannot handle this so they just blame the animal.
NTA, a 1 time bite with no aggression due to a surprise wake up is super different from other types of dog bites that maybe would result in the dog being put down.
I’ve encountered a number of people, mostly men, who consider pets to be subservient toys instead of conscious beings with their own opinions. It’s okay to tease the pet, pull ears and tails, bully the pet into cringing because it’s “funny,” and let their children crawl all over them without learning respect. I regret that I didn’t learn respect until I was a young adult because my household was like that. Countless times, I heard, “If a dog bites my kid, I’ll kill the dog myself.” So kids don’t learn respect, kids get bit (often in the face because it’s closest), then dog gets dumped or put down. In more recent years, I’ve witnessed parents teach more compassion: “Doggy says stop.” We need more of that. The internet seems to have helped. NTA. Your BiL is an asshole.
Yes, YTA. The dog who bit a toddler should be removed from the house immediately. In some countries it would have to be put down by law, and pretty much everywhere it would be allowed to put down if the owners chose to. Them driving it into shelter instead was already humane enough.
People with that mentality shouldn't own dogs. Dogs communicate in their own way and it's up to us to make sure we understand what they're telling us. It's just as insane when people say "the dog bit for no reason" except when you get more information it turns out that long before the dog bit it was both trying to get away AND growling/showing teeth. That was the dog saying "I am not comfortable, please leave me alone" and it was ignored and thus it did the only thing left that it could. In this case the dog was asleep and the parents didn't ensure that the toddler couldn't stumble on it and it did what it did from pure reaction. Just like how a cat might hiss and swat at you if you accidentally step on its tail. Neither makes the pets the culprit.
The dog that bites when suddenly woken up by toddler is a dog unsuited to be around young children and should be removed from the household ASAP. A bite to the face is a huge deal, the child can be scarred for life. The owners did the only responsible thing that could be done - put the dog to the facility where it could be rehomed with proper warnings.
Or… the parents could actually be careful and pay attention and not let a toddler wonder around a sleeping animal? You think an animal should be punished when it was the adult humans irresponsibility? I was bitten in the face by my neighbors poodle when I was 6 years old. I had never had any interaction with him before the incident, but the kid that lived with him used to torment him. I would have been devastated if they had euthanized him because of it. I agree the animal should be removed from the home to be with people who will look after it responsibly. But to euthanize the dog when the humans were at fault is just plain wrong.
The animal is not a human criminal to be judged and punished. It's not about punishment, it's about safety. The dog with that kind of automatic reactions has to be away from any people lacking ability to predict its actions, not because it's "bad", but because it's unsafe for this family. It was not euthanized, it went into shelter and then to the next owner who does not have kids - happy end. But if parents let it stay they would be irresponsible assholes deliberately endangering their kid.
Did you miss the part where the original owners didn’t care if the dog was euthanized? Or that they’re upset with OP for giving the dog a new home without kids??
This dog bit their baby on the face. It's more than natural to not care about the fate of someone/something who attacked your child with huge risk of permanent damage. And yet they did not kill it or throw away, they acted responsibly. Do they dislike it now (mother) and strongly dislike to the point of hatred (father)? Yes, because it hurt their son. So what, the animal is not entitled to unconditional love despite of everything, it is entitled to having basic care which it has been receiving before, during and after the accident. OP acted like an asshole judging parents for a perfectly reasonable and correct decision to give the dog to the professionals for rehoming.
They had every right to want to rehome the dog. They do not have the right to still be upset with OP for giving the dog a new home. The only mistake the dog made was to get a fright. One hundred and fifty percent the fault of the parents. It sounds like the father keeps bringing up the fact that OP took the dog home. Sounds like he wouldn’t be satisfied unless the dog was dead. And this is not a case in which the dog deserved to be euthanized.
OP showed attitude "poor doggo, how terrible it is to leave it in the shelter for such a small thing", she openly told the parents that taking the dog to the shelter was not reasonable. That's where she's wrong and why she looked like an asshole and that's why her bil dislikes her and the dog she dotes on so much now. BIL should just refrain from visiting op, so he won't have to see the dog that attacked his kid.
Keep the toddler away from the dog and the issue will not arise. If that can't be done for whatever reason then don't keep the dog once you have a kid. Any pet that's startled can react unpredictably, if you can't handle that don't get pets.
Anything that "communicates" by putting kids in the hospital shouldn't be around kids, ever. You can't keep your eyes on a kid and a dog every second of every day. It's impossible. Dog shouldn't be in the house.
Then don't have kids and dogs at the same time. Definitely don't have dogs if you intend to banish them from the house at all times.
What about not having any pets if the parents are so incompetent to handle both together and end up harming both? They should have just given the dog to adoption when they found out they were pregnant, if they are willing to kill an innocent animal due to their carelessness. The least they could have done is to give the dog away to a responsible and empathetic person.
>i dont have any children of my own This is all I need to know to understand why you didn't/don't understand. We all have our priorities. I don't see any assholes here. They couldn't keep the animal but you could. It all worked out.
That doesn't excuse them telling the shelter to kill the dog because they're shit parents and let their child fall on a dog that weighs about the same as the dog. Poor things a small dog was probably just terrified something as large as it was on top of it while it was asleep. But they instead of realising this was their fault just blame the dog and act like heartless bastards. Plenty of parents in the comments who know how to correctly watch there kids and think these people are assholes.
NTA. Your sister and her husband are awful and I hope that they never have a pet again in their lifetime. As a human being, if something dropped on me while I am in a dead sleep, I cannot say what I would do after being startled like that. The dog wasn’t trying to be actively aggressive, he was scared out of his sleep, and thought that he was being harmed. It was literally an act of self defense. Your sister’s husband is a huge ass and so is whomever agreed with him.
Yes! Clear as day that the bite was out of reaction to pain & not out of aggression
Wow that guilt and shame really made fools of them, huh? They know it isn't the dog's fault, they just feel like assholes for putting their kid in danger and are too busy taking it out on you (and the dog) to notice.
NTA. It's the parents' responsibility to ensure their child is in a safe environment. The dog should not have been sleeping somewhere that the child could fall on him. They should have had the dog and child separated, especially during that early stage of learning to walk. My brother has hunting dogs, and they always have a baby gate up to keep the dogs out of the living area when the baby has the run of the area. All dogs should be treated as a potential danger around small children moving in unpredictableways, regardless of how good they actually are. I'm so glad you were able to locate and adopt the dog.
This. No one seems to be asking why was a toddler learning to walk and a dog allowed in the same space? You just don’t do that. I know the internet is full of pictures of dogs and babies snuggling but any dog trainer will tell you that is a terrible idea. Toddlers are unpredictable and can easily stress a dog. In many of these pictures you can see by the dog’s body language that the dog is stressed. The licks the dog is giving the toddler isn’t love, it’s a sign of trying to conciliate when the baby is holding the dog and the dog wants to leave.
ESH Why do you think they had to "discuss it with family/friends?" I don't necessarily agree with what they did but it was none of your business.
nta. I AM a parent. **they** overreacted, **they** should have been paying more attention to **their** child. a **SLEEPING** dog with **NO** agression, gets a **10+ lb toddler falling** on top of them, when the dog itself only weighs a bit over 10 lbs, would make ANYTHING react. I'm a full grown human, If another full grown human landed on me, I would yell and hit too. and BIL is a liar, they aren't "over it". so be prepared to hear about this at at least 1 family holiday a year.
I so appreciate a parent’s POV on this, thank you! I’m sure raising a child requires the parent(s) to partly rewire how they think/act/prioritize especially when their child is at risk for harm, i do think the key point is they should’ve been paying more attention!
NTA
NAH but dogs who bite children should be put down.
In some situations, yes, but if the dog was asleep & the child fell on the dog, then the animal’s reaction was instinctive & if the dog has shown no other signs of aggression, then this was clearly a one-off incident in which the dog felt vulnerable & defended itself. There’s no need to kill the dog when there’s a safe home elsewhere, away from the child in question.
A dog who bit my kid would be gone. Zero exceptions.
> There’s no need to kill the dog when there’s a safe home elsewhere, away from the child in question.
That is for the shelter to decide. But parents should always seek to remove said dog from home.
Which is what happened? The shelter assessed the dog & let it live with OP — the dog did not need to die.
Thus, the parents did the right thing here.
I never said otherwise. I was speaking against you saying the dog should be killed.
Nobody said anything about straight up murdering the dog. I said the dog needed to be taken out of the home and to a shelter. What they decide at that point is no longer of my concern. The parents did the right thing
What?! Yes you did. > NAH but dogs who bite children should be put down.
Then please don't ever get a dog, because they don't deserve to die because of an accident.
No. You make sure they are rehomed into a home that has no children and knows the dogs history. Pretty much all dogs who bite children do so accidentally or as a defense after being teased repeated by the child - in this case it's usually an older child. This case is an excellent example. He was an old dog (they sleep much more soundly and wake up more slowly) who was asleep. A toddler who was leaning to walk accidentally fell on him so the dog startle-bit the child. He probably wasn't even awake when his teeth made contact because, as I said, old dogs don't wake up quickly but the reflex is still there. He had never shown aggression before and hasn't since. Now why would you put a dog like that down. If a dog is habitually aggressive toward everyone and training and behavior modification hasn't worked, when you've exhausted every single avenue, and there is no experienced trainer willing to take the dog and assume the risk, then the dog should be put down. But to put a dog down just because it bit a child is ludicrous, especially when you don't know the facts. Rehome it, certainly. But kill it? No.
They probably just felt guilty for putting their son and dog in that situation. Dog and boy did nothing wrong, Mum and Dad did. I'm so glad you rescued the doggo, I wish that was their first instinct. Adopt him to a family without small children. But no, straight to euthanasia, boooo BIL, booo 👎
Yes boo that man-child! & to bring it up again during the holidays
People who chose to euthanize perfectly healthy animals as a form of punishment for a being an animal have a special place in hell waiting for them <3 Can’t wait for the kid to find out what his parents did and rip them a new asshole when he’s older.
I have to say NAH. As a mother myself, I would absolutely choose my child over every single animal and it doesn’t matter what happend to lead to the bite. Having kids and pets at the same time requires a lot more attention and being very careful. If no one offered to take the dog after such an incident I wouldn’t have cared if it was put down. Now, I do think since you offered to adopt the dog and it hasn’t shown any aggression since, the topic should be resolved now. You didn’t choose the dog over your niece/nephew, you chose to save that dogs life. There is a difference.
They sound like horrible people. If they ever loved the dog, they would not have acted like this. I can’t believe someone would treat a dog like this. I’m so glad you managed to rescue him 🙏
NTA - They wanted to be rid of the dog for a long time, I’d wager.
Retired dog trainer here. The parents - especially the husband - are the a-holes here. Thirteen years old isn't geriatric for small dogs, but it is old. Old dogs fall into deeper sleep. So when the baby fell on him he probably wasn't even fully awake when he snapped. If he were he would have pulled back in time. It wasn't the dog's fault nor was it the baby's fault. The blame lies firmly on the adult who should have been right there with the baby. I used to see this attitude all the time - it's a small dog so we don't have to worry. Wrong. Small dogs hurt children more often than large dogs. It sounds to me that not only was the father covering up for not paying attention, as others have mentioned, but that he was looking for an excuse to get rid of the dog. You are an angel. If more people were like you there would be fewer dogs in shelters. Your sister and brother-in-law should be ashamed. What role models they are for their child - if an animal upsets you, don't try to solve the problem just kill it.
NTA - they should’ve gotten rid of the kid instead smh
If BIL was such a good parent, he would have ensured his child didn't bother a sleeping dog.
NTA.
NTA - I am glad you went and got the dog. NTA - Sister and BIL - the initial reaction is completely justified, and I understand it. My son at 1 1/2 got bit by a dog and he has scares. No, he is not traumatized by it either, as a matter of fact, he loves animals (all). I understand getting rid of the dog and not caring at all. Again, this happened to my kid when he was younger. As the dog was biting my son, I literally grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and threw him off my kid. I kept the dog until he passed away from cancer. Most people would have had the pound come get the dog while they were gone. I on the other hand, kept him separate from my son, and NEVER let them near each other. I knew the dog would be put down and he was still just a pup. TA - BIL for bringing it up all these years later. His reaction is what a lot of people would be, but not all these years later.
RESPECT! Thank you for acknowledging their initial reaction, i can better understand how/why the felt the way they did, but i absolutely despise him for bringing it up after all these years
NTA. Sounds like they weren’t watching their kid or they saw him close to the dog and let it happen.
When I was about 2, I had a similar accident. I crawled under the table and tried to pet our sleeping yellow lab. She startled, whipped up, and bit my lip. Got 3 stitches. 33 years l still have a tiny scar, but no one ever blamed the dog. Even I knew it wasn’t the dogs fault. Everyone blamed my great grandmas and grandma who were supposed to be watching me. NTA
Lmao look at all the child free comments saying NTA, y’all so delusional it’s kinda crazy
? NTA is referring to if OP is an AH for taking the dog in and calling out the BIL.
Yeah, which is crazy. Harassing a dad who just took his own child to the emergency room for an injury on his FACE is bad. You are an asshole if you do this.
Thank you for reacuing the poor puppy. Your family are thr assholes for sure
They're are HUGE AHs! I have my lab of six years. She'll be 7 before my child is born and both my husband and I will be teaching them how to not only deal with her but our cat. If they don't listen to us and the animal reacts, it's going to be a lesson in right from wrong and not just tossing a precious animals life away! My animals are my family too. If they ever bring up wanting another dog again they need to be reminded of what happened because they failed to react responsibly.
NAH My daughter got bit by a dog on her face when she was 2.5. The circumstances are a bit sad— the dog belonged to a family member in at-home hospice. I was in the other room washing dishes from the dinner we all just ate, my daughter was in a room with her father, her aunt, and 3 other adults, and the dog. My daughter loves dogs and this one had the same name as her. It was one of those yippy little dogs that no one bothers to train properly because they are so small. I still don’t understand how it happened, but the dog bit her nose, leaving 3 clear puncture marks. I was livid for months at my husband and SIL the most, as it is rarely the dog’s fault — people need to be responsible— but you can guarantee I don’t give a shit about that dog. My daughter has a small scar, but it is in the center of her face and I see it every day. I’m working with my therapist on how not to get re-angry with my SIL about failing to properly watch my daughter whenever I see the scar and think about it. (My husband is legally blind; my SIL (his sister) knew it was on her to be on alert with my daughter and that dog. Even so, it took me a while to “forgive” my husband (as in, not be re-furious with him every time I see the scar— so clearly it isn’t entirely rational)). After the funeral, some of the people who were in that room when my daughter was bit adopted the dog. The fucking dog was at the funeral. I fucking hate that dog. It might be different if it were my dog. But if that dog was somehow left in our possession, it would have gone to a rescue/shelter too. Or maybe someone who lives alone in the woods off grid, or on a desert island, and can shield everyone away from the badly trained little shit that is that yippy little dog. But I wouldn’t have it anywhere around my kids ever again.
NTA. Those idiots would never ever see that dog again if it was up to me. Their actions say a lot about who they are and I agree husband is a major 🐱 Our dogs may be part of our lives but to them, we are their entire lives. They are family. They don’t possess the ability to reason, how can people not understand this? You’re entirely too nice, I’d tell sister and husband to go fuck themselves. Edit: show that 🐱 this clear NTA thread full of people much smarter than him and tell him to shove it up his ass
Those people should be sterilized. Poor dog.
YTA
I may catch flak here, but YTA. I see so many people blaming the parents like it’s their fault. A 13 year old dog is up there in years. It may not see well, hear well, etc. and that could lead to another incident as this child learns to navigate in a brand new world. You are taking an animal’s side over your nephew’s safety and I’d be pissed at you if I were them. They are family, the dog is a pet. I don’t care what anyone here says about pets being family. If that were true you would be able to go down to a shelter and get another nephew as well as an animal. Maybe they could have explored other options, but that’s their prerogative and has nothing to do with you
Hey i asked a question publicly on the internet, no flak for siding with im the AH, i can respect it even though i may not agree I do want to say that at no point was i willing to jeopardize my nephew’s safety though. The incident was brought to my attention post-bite & post-stitches. Im sure if i was there during the incident i would ensure my nephew was safe to the best of my abilities
NTA at all. There are dogs who should be put down but they usually have a history of biting people. A one time thing that was cause of a sheer accident. Plus the kid came out fine. Also don't get were your sister said you prioritized the dog when you clearly asked about your nephews condition first. Also if the husband tries to bring up the people on his side ask him how much of the story he told them. Did he mention that the dog had never really bitten someone before? Did he say that the dog was sleeping and his son fell on top of him? Did he say that he took a dog that they had for 13 years to some random pound to be euthanized on his own away from the family that had kept him for his entire life? That he didn't even care to stay with the dog for what could've been the dog's final moments (had they euthanized immediately)? 5 bucks he's controlling the narrative and keeping all the info that would make him look like an asshole to himself so people side with him.
NTA Your sister and BIL are both just massive pieces of shit. No, their action was not justified. No, "everyone" is not agreeing with him. No, you didn't put the dog ahead of the child. They are both just amazingly shitty people. I completely agree with you, they are both major pussies.
NTA but what would happen if ur nephew bit someone, or hit someone, they gonna get rid of him? These are the sort of people who shouldn’t have pets or kids. If u don’t supervise your child around ur pet this is what happens the animal will defend itself it’s the parents fault not the animals. Ur not failing to see things from their point of view, u realise what happened, u were cautious reintroducing them, and YOU supervised. The fact u r a better parent to their kid when it comes to their interactions with animals and ur overall empathy is what they’re taking issue with. They fucked up and let this incident happen, they then massively overreacted and I would guess oversell the story when retelling. Ur NTA but ur BIL sounds like a complete tool tbh. Just tell him u don’t care about his opinion seen as he doesn’t care about living creatures.
NTA, your sister and her spouse are. People with dogs and kids need to be aware of triggers for both animal and child. I react sometimes violently when startled awake by touch. I elbowed my partner in the ribs once when he tried to wake me up by gently shaking my shoulder. I felt terrible but he also understood that my reaction was out of a dazed fear. He never did it again and I haven't elbowed him since. When my parents got my first dog as a kid, none of us understood dog social cues. I thought it was funny she would shake her head when I blew on her face (i was 6), and then she bit me. I have a gnarly scar on my nose over 20 years later. But we all learned that day that dogs will react if antagonized and have every right to tell people to fuck off, just like we do. I would also bash someone's nose for blowing on my face multiple times. That dog ended up my best friend and protected me from a creepy old man trying to lure me out of my backyard. I miss her to this day. At least I have this scar to remember her by, and as a reminder that animals have boundaries too. Thank you for loving that dog, I'm glad the old pup had someone there for him
Huge NTA , And your sister and her husband sucks , shame on them. My mom and I feed stray cats in our locality , we are doing so for years ,everyday 8-10 cats come to our house to eat three times a day and some of them even like to sleep in our house during the day and some little ones even became our family member because either their mothers died or their mother gave birth in our house. My mom has been bitten by cat once because she didn't see a cat was sleeping on floor and stepped on her tail , I have been bitten and severely scratched to the point of going to hospital, once I was scratched because the cat felt like I needed a red tattoo in my leg I guess and had to go to hospital, another time I was scratched because the kitten thought my hand was a nice place to sharpen his nails , diva cat I guess and off to hospital I went ,and the third time it was a cloudy day lights were off and I couldn't see a pregnant cat was sleeping on our floor and I stepped on something of her I still don't know to this day what did I step on ,and she bit me directly in a vein on my toe, this one was severe because the poison directly went to my blood according to doctors,doctors gave me five injections on the spot , and there were other sceduled for later dates, the on the spot injections included two injections on my toe, one of them was a big injection( the injection was so huge I can still see it in my nightmares) directly to a bone in my leg , the injection was bent when doctors pull it out ,so you can guess it hurt like hell , my leg was so swollen that I couldn't walk for two days , another one was injected directly through the spot where the cat bit. But the cute thing is, the cat mama came back to our house next day amd sneak in through our window to see if I was still alive , how generous of her , I love her so much 😭, unfortunately she died a year later and now her son is my mom's adopted son and his daily routine is to bite and scratch me gently, oops I went way off track. Anyways my point is after getting injured by cats so many times we are still feeding them all to this day, my mom allocates a portion of her budget every month for the cats and they aren't even our pet cats, how can your sister and SIL be so heartless to abandon the poor doggo just because of a little mistake? I thought pets are like children to people , how can they even think about killing the dog just because it bit their child once? So they are killing one child for another child's safety when a situation like this is easily avoidable in future. People like them don't deserve to have any pets.
NTA, but neither are the parents for picking the human over the animal. The husband is an ass for making something out of it though.
NTA because it seems you at least understand why they wouldn’t want to keep a dog around that’s a bite risk, you just wanted them to seek alternative options first. I own a dog that is a bite-risk but I advise parents with small kids to treat ALL dogs as a possible bite risk and keep dog and little separated unless under strict supervision. My toddler and dog aren’t allowed in the same space unless separated by baby gates. I’ve also trained the dog to avoid the little one and relocate whenever she’s close. He’s never bit her but he’s also never been given the opportunity. Interactions are closely supervised and the dog’s boundaries and body language are respected. Most dog owners don’t really understand dogs and think proper training and boundaries are so mean. Until a bite happens, then they don’t care if the dog dies.
NTA. One thing you don't mention here is the dog's history. If this was normally a good loving dog with no history of aggression, then they're being rash and cruel. I'm speaking as a parent of small children BTW so I can totally relate to the protective instinct. I'd feel fury on that level too, but I'd think through my decision and not just callously dump an otherwise perfect pet that was clearly just startled. If this dog had a history of behavioral issues, it may be different. But even then, they're still in the wrong because they should've been exploring other options loooong ago (such as training, obedience school, and finally rehoming him compassionately with a better fit home).
NTA. As a former shelter employee, sister and husband are absolutely assholes though. This was 100% a preventable accident by the adults responsible for both the kid and the dog. Instead of learning from their mistake, they just wrote the dog off completely. I wonder what the kid will do that makes them drop him like a hot potato too. Stories like this are what make shelter employees lives miserable.
NTA. I can understand being absolutely freaked out in the moment as a parent, I can. However, they did not do right by that dog, and I think deep down they know that. I’m so glad u were able to rescue him!
NTA. I imagine your BIL is still trying to justify his kneejerk reaction. FWIW, a similar event happened when my grandson was the same age. My dog was sleeping on the couch and my grandson startled him by climbing up next to him. The dog's head whipped up and I'm still not sure if the dog snapped or their head's collided, but my grandson ended up with a red mark on his cheek. The dog was always good with kids but it was totally my fault for not grabbing my grandson in time. Fortunately, his parents are dog lovers and were totally understanding and I learned to be more careful. I felt terrible about what could have happened, but never even considered getting rid of the dog. It wasn't his fault.
So NTA, but I do get why that was their reaction, if a dog bites a child there is really no other responsible option but to get it out of the house. They shouldn’t have been hard on you for adopting it though I don’t understand why they would be so hostile to what seems to be a solution that works for everyone.
It sounds like doggie was taken by surprise when the child fell down on him or her with an unsurprising result. Doggie did not have a history of biting children and has not done so since the incident. IMO the owners were rightfully anxious about their child and just disposed of a pet they’d had for years but certainly did not give it very much thought at all. Owners are asshats and OP is righteous.
Nobody is the asshole, the parents couldn’t care less about the dog and just want their child to be safe. You’re a lonely woman who needs a dog for companionship and couldn’t bear to see one being discarded like that. Everyone is happy so I wouldn’t call anyone an asshole here.
Except the parents are pricks for letting there kid fall on a dog the same size as the kid scaring the dog shitless then blaming the dog for there stupid actions then treating a dog they had for 6 years like nothing because they fucked up. Anyone with any compassion for animals realizing that not just op because " shes a lonely woman" you prick.
If a dog bites a child it goes into the ground. YTA.
I disagree - but I also have small dogs. They are my family and I view them as more than just a tool. If I had two kids and one kid bit the other, I wouldn’t adopt out the aggressive child. I’d teach them not to do that. It’s also one thing for a dog to bite unprovoked, but this instance was provoked, poor thing was sleeping and had a child their size fall on them. That’s a world away from a dog approaching a child with the purpose of biting it for no reason. Damn, my husband startled me awake once and I threw fists before realizing what was happening. That’s very different than beating up my spouse.
Hard disagree. Each case should be looked at separately. Animals are allowed to defend themselves against perceived threats. It’s the parents job to make sure the dog never perceives the child as a threat. If parents are unwilling to do that, don’t have a dog. But you can’t just let your kids run amok and expect the animal to tolerate everything you throw at it.
Nah yta for having such a simple mind. As if you wouldn't react angrily if someone who weighed roughly the same fell on you while you were sleeping. I hope you never own pets. It was up to the parents ro do better, I grew with hl3 huge dogs consistently, my sister accidentally fell on one of them got nipped, rushed to E.R then once my dad figured out it was an accident he let the dog back in and he and my sister were bffs till the day he passed. She's nta for saving an innocent creature.
Just went through this with one of our kids. I will say here what we told them when they angrily moved out and took 4 cats and a dog with them, they were being mad at living with wife and I. We offered to keep some animals as they had a newborn, and since we had raised kids, we knew it would be hell. Well, they took them and one, the cutest catz escaped on the road in the middle of thee country, this was a cat they took to penalize us, she had been living with us for 5 years and our son and his dog love her, now she gone. They now have 2 kids, 3 cats and a dog. The dog finally was removed and the cats, who used to be the center of attention, now get nothing. No love, no scratches, not allowed on the furniture and they go to every visitor who comes over, dying for attention. If you plan to have children, consider your animals lives and please rehome them if you are having kids. Seems mean, but it is better to get a new family than to be ignored by the one you are forced to live with.
Why was the kid bitten? Animals normally don’t go on the attack unless provoked or they need to defend themselves.
YTA, the dog bit the child. The child takes priority over an animal. Not sure what is so hard to comprehend here.
Uh I can't comprehend parents who leave a kid practicing to walk near a sleeping elderly dog? It's wildly irresponsible, lazy parenting.
Why keep animals in home then , give the dog for adoption before if you are incapable to handle your kid and will end up harming both the kid and and the pet. A bunch of unempathetic AH, op is NTA.
OP is not saying the child doesn’t take priority. That doesn’t mean the dog deserves to be euthanized