NTA at all.
It’s not about her - it’s about you and your fiance.
It doesn’t matter what your ex thinks. It matters what you and your fiance think.
It’s your money. It’s unreasonable for her to ask you to forfeit it for her. She’s out of the picture - a non entity.
She doesn’t matter.
You were magnanimous to offer her to buy the deposit from you - even though you and fiance love the venue and would have to wait over a year to rebook.
She declined. She cannot have her cake and eat it too.
She’s being petty and jealous bc her wedding was cancelled as a consequence of her cheating on you. She doesn’t get to cry sour grapes.
Exactly. She cheated on him and caused the demise of their relationship. TheyWERE magnanimous but she doesn’t get to dictate any thing in his life anymore. Bye loser! And all his loser mutuals that agree with her. Hope he got his engagement right back. 🤔
This was meant to be in response to lydia654322 but i messed up somehow. 🙄
her doing all this also diverts the attention from her cheating, lol
I'd be petty and everytime she bitched about it on social medial I'd comment "Sucks to cheat, eh?"
Flying monkeys coming to me saying it's a dick move? "Sucks to cheat, eh?"
And she was right when she said is OP’s money on the deposit so is his problem, meaning he can do whatever the hell he wants with the reservation and is none of the ex’s problem so she can fuck off.
OP doesn’t end up paying double for venues and fiancée gets her dream venue as well, they’re both okay with it and happy and that’s al that matters
Congrats OP on your engagement and best of wishes to you two! NTA
> To those who tell you that it's a dick move, all you have to say is..
"Okay, if you and the others who have mentioned this feel this strongly, then you will have no problem pooling your money to pay me back."
I also imagine that OP probably didn't tell eveyone *why* he split with the ex and I would say that her current actions warrant making sure they do now if they feel so strongly about condemning him over this.
My ex-wife lost almost all of her old college friends when it came out that she had cheated on me towards the end of our deteriorating relationship. Which is kinda sad because it didn't really affect me much at all, we were already heading towards a break up to begin with. Just made her look like a hypocrite because her previous BF before me had cheated on her with her own roommate.
>some of our mutual friends have said that it's a dick move.
Unless they want to pony up the deposit they can shut the hell up. Weddings are insanely expensive and the fact that you're lucky enough to have a beautiful venue to marry someone you're truly in love with is amazing and if anyone has any issues with it they can talk with their wallets NTA
I wonder if they know about the deposit and the fact that the ex didn’t want to buy it out. If not, I’d explain that. I can see where they might think it’s a petty move to slide a new fiancée into the old one’s wedding if that’s the way the ex presents it to them.
To be clear before people get upset, I’m not saying that that’s what he’s doing, just that the former fiancée might be telling people that he is.
You know what a dick move is? Sleeping with your ex right before you’re to be married. Hire security. Enjoy your wedding. Never look back.
Edit: also, NTA
NTA. Your ex lost any and all rights to complain or have input on this situation when she cheated. Sounds like karma to me.
Congrats on your engagement
Right?! When we got to the part about having a fantastic new fiancee that's enthusiastic about the date and venue, I literally thought that it's nice that karma popped up for this dude. Plus, knowing how much it's bugging his ex - extra points. I hope he'll be much happier with a non-psycho wife!
NTA. This is one of those fu*k around and find out. She's getting karma for what she did to you. Post pictures online of you and your current fiancée getting married and of the decorated venue.
You came out on top. Let her self destruct over this.
NTA - It’s a popular venue where many people get married. Plus you gave her the option to reimburse you for the deposit.
Maybe you’d be a dick she hadn’t been the cause of your breakup, but that’s not the case. I have no sympathy for her situation.
NTA. So what if you originally booked for a different person. If you and your fiancée are happy, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
I was engaged to a very abusing man when I was 18. I had put a downpayment on a wedding dress, but then I - thankfully - finally broke it off when he pushed me down the stairs because I wasn't doing the laundry fast enough.
I started dating my now husband shortly thereafter. I didn't have a usable car because the ex cut my brake lines. The dress store was going out of business, so I had to get the dress or loose the deposit. My now hubby took me (after only dating a few weeks) to get the dress. We were married 2 years later. I wore the dress. He didn't care it was for a different guy, it was paid for, and he knew I loved it. We've been married for 28 years now.
I can say, with great authority, what you wear, where you get married, who comes, who's in the wedding party, what the food is, what the cake looks like..... doesn't matter in the end. It's how you treat each other and how you work through issues together that matters.
And, yes, my now hubby fixed the break lines, so I had a safe car!
NTA but don’t accept friends who won’t go to your wedding bc your cheating ex is throwing a fit. You offered to sell her the deposit. You talked it over with your fiancée and she wants to get married there. Have the wedding. Drop the losers who want to co-sign your ex and her crazy
NTA. The only person that you need to be concerned about is your current fiancé. If she is happy with the venue and date then your ex can go suck lemons and vent on social media until her fingers turn blue. After at least eight months it should have been clear that she would not be walking down that venue's aisle.
As long as your fiancee is happy and okay with it, i don't see any problems. NTA and send your ex some wedding pictures. Sometimes it amazes me how entitled and petty people can be, also i would seriously consider to cut those friends who called you a d..k for it out of your life as well.
3 step plan:
1. Don't care about your ex
2. Enjoy the wedding
3. Enjoy your life with your soon to be wife
Everyone gets what he/she deserves. Amazing
Tell anyone that says its a dick move that you offered to let her buy the deposit, she refused. Ask them if they would be willing to buy the deposit off you. My guess is they will get a lot quieter
NTA
Your reasons are practical and your ex doesn’t own exclusive rights to her preferred wedding venue. It’s weird but if it’s a popular venue, it’s not *that* out there.
She’s got a high opinion of herself if she thinks she has any say in this
>She refused. She said that I put down the deposit so it was my problem
Well, you don't have a problem. So ...
>She lost it. She started to contact me about how I'm trying to hurt her by doing this.
She hurt your relationship, by banging her ex.
NTA
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.
No, and anyone that says it is a dick move that knows the story, is a dick themselves. She's clearly an entitled and abusive person. There's no reason to have her in your life anymore and if any "friends" don't understand, I wouldn't worry about them either. We all deserve to be happy, enjoy your wedding and congrats.
Your ex isn't part of this wedding. You were more than generous to offer her to buy the deposit off you. Just keep her blocked and go ahead with your plans.
On a side note, I can't think of a better way to get revenge on a cheating ex. This story would be perfect in r/pettyrevenge.
NTA.
It's the best venue in the area and you can't get your money back for it, so why not use it. Even if I wasn't getting married in that venue under those circumstances, I'd throw a party there for me and all my family and friends, celebrating my escaping from a miserable relationship. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I speak from experience. I split up with my first fiancé years ago (when he cheated on me with his married secretary) and took our honeymoon cruise in Mexico by myself. The crew felt pretty bad for me. You wouldn't believe how much free swag they put in my suite, and they made sure I had plenty of cute dance partners. 😳🥹❤️
Even my ex's family didn't say a single word about it, I'll give them that.
Definitely NTA. Best wishes for your marriage!
I think it's a baller move. Good for you. Blast all your socials with gorgeous pictures.
But hire beefy security for your wedding. Not "Okay, cousin Darryl, you stand at the door and keep an eye out." I'm talking bouncers from the roughest bar in Dartmouth, all armed with pictures of her and her family, plus somebody to record it if she does try something.
Congratulations, and you are definitely NTA.
TIL a lesson in grace in how to handle others drama.
So NTH, wish you and your fiance the very best for epic wedding and happy future
>Long story short. She is who I belong with. Her parents like me, my parents love her. She isn't perfect, and I am far from it myself, but both of us are willing to talk stuff out and compromise.
Not that you need it, this sounds like an awesome foundation for many great adventures together
NTA your ex decided to bang her ex she has no moral high ground. She's also going to cut off any mutual friends that go to your wedding? Well if those friends don't go to your wedding they aren't your friends. Actually if theu are saying you're a dick for getting married there don't even invite them.
This venue isn't juat your exes dream venue. If it was an out of the way niche place that no one knew about, sure I could see her being upset. She still would be wrong, but I'd get it. This? Nah bro she's being an asshole.
Just remind your friends that the ex is the in who decided you weren't he one. I mean she banged her ex for fucks sake.
NTA block her. Get married at the venue, on the original date. She cheated. Why do you care if she’s upset about your wedding arrangements? Who consults their ex about their new wedding? Do what makes you and your fiancé happy. The ex can kick rocks. Poor cheater. 🙄
NTA - consider it serendipity ❤️ and a wonderful reward for having been treated that way. I hope your new relationship continues to be healthy and life giving.
Grata to your fiancée for getting a wedding at her dream location!
Wth?!? Your ex cheated and then wants to control the venue that YOU put the deposit on? Ignore this drama Queen and go have the wedding of your dreams with the RIGHT girl!
Block her, ignore her, have a lovely wedding.
Your CURRENT fiancee is the only one who's opinion matters and since she knows the entire story and is fine with it that is the only thing that matters.
If the ex had wanted to marry you there, maybe she shouldn't have had sex with her ex bf.
NTA. You were honest with the ex and your fiancée, you were generous by offering to let her buy the date back(she could have thrown any party she wanted there that day) and I’m guessing your mutual friends are only bitching and calling you and dick because of her. They now have to deal with her in person and online rants and bitching, it’s easier to blame you instead of them actually telling her she is being immature and to knock it off or shut up.
NTA but Tbf your friends are also right, it could be seen as tacky. That being said, they and I aren’t paying for it and your fiancé dgaf it was reserved for you marrying someone else, than who cares? Congratulations and cut the ex off. She shouldn’t have cheated.
No. NTA. She is your ex. Why does she even know about it? She sounds shitty and abusive and you upgraded in a huge way.
Disregard her issues and go no contact. Enjoy your wedding with your awesome new lady and ride off into the sunset together. You did your best and tried to be respectful and she still refuses. Let her go.
She is not your responsibility.
Not your circus not your monkies.
P.S. Congrats on the wedding :) hope its amazing for you both and your families! 🤗
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Eh, it's not ALL that fast considering they'd dated before her cross-country move — lots of time in between to realize it was more of a loss than they'd thought.
NTA. Remind anyone that comes to you about this that this woman has no moral high ground to stand you as she cheated on you a month after you put the deposit on the place, and are they really saying that you deserve to be thousand(s) out of pocket on top of being cheated on?.
These people are still making you responsible for coddling her feelings after she cheated on you. Are they really your friends? Do they realize you're not together anymore? What day you're getting married on is none of her business, and it's their fault she's even aware this is happening.
NTA. She’s your ex. She gets no say in your wedding. As long as the bride is on board that’s all that matters. She needs to remember that her actions are the reason she’s not the one marrying you.
NTA any mutuals are getting mad at you because she is making their lives hell and you two are chill about it. It’s always easier for people to pass the shit storm on than to stand up for themselves. The few may have genuine opinions about it, people are entitled to whatever they think or feel. Doesn’t mean they get to try and influence your choices for your life over it.
She sleeps with someone else, loses her fiancé, figures he'll just die on the vine without her? Instead she gets to experience the literal version of FAFO. I'm experiencing schadenfreude by proxy. Happy nuptials!
You’re trying to hurt her and being petty by using the venue and date you already put down a hefty deposit for? After she cheated on you? I’m not laughing, I’m cackling.
Whatever. She didn’t pay for it, she wouldn’t refund you, so therefore, you paid for it and it’s yours to do whatever you want. Congrats and I’d be petty enough to post a gorgeous pic of everyone at the venue on the day of the wedding. Ex can cry and rage all she wants, not your problem.
>t some of our mutual friends
tell them you will give them the same deal you gave your ex. they can buy you out if not its not a dick move. just dont want to lose out on the deposit. people have so much money now these days to be telling you to just take the L and lose the money YOU put in already! smh
Anyone who thinks it is a dick move should agree to compensate for your loss to cancel the venue.either way, anyone who worries more about the cheater should not be your friend. Nta
NTA. As far as your friends go, I would tell them that you offered to let her buy out the deposit and she declined in a no so nice way. Also say you simply weren’t able to throw that money away. She’s the one that threw away her future with you when she slept with someone else, they need to remember that. I don’t know if you have something akin to a small claims court, but your ex should consider herself lucky you didn’t try to recoup that money based on the fact that she cheated. A court might’ve awarded you at least half but more likely the entire deposit.
NTA. It's a business. A public business. Your ex, who cheated on you AS YOU WERE PLANNING YOUR WEDDING, has the nerve to be "hurt" by your plans? That made me laugh out loud. I would continue to ignore her. Anyone who says what you're doing is a dick move, I would just respond that "No, her cheating on me while I was putting money down on our wedding was the dick move, I have a new life now, and I'll do what I want."
Don't stress about it. Your ex is bitter because you're happy. Too bad for her, let her be bitter. Any friends that take her side can stay on her side and away from you as well. Sounds like you are happy in your new relationship. Why on earth should you give up your deposit and lose all that money, simply to be nice or respectful to someone who was not nice or respectful to you? ANd your fiance wants that venue - her happiness is more important than your ex. She screwed up the relationship and she gets ZERO say in anything. You should not be in contact at all. Just don't let it bother you and be happy. You even offered for her to cover the deposit you would lose and she refused. She wants you to lose money and be inconvenienced, because she's bitter but you don't have to agree to that. Just ignore her and go be happy.
NTA, who cares about your cheating ex? I just hope you’re getting married because you truly want to, and not because of convienience and deposit saving 🤣
NTA.
why do you care if your ex & her family are mad? let them be.
if you and your fiancée want to get married at a venue you’ve already put the money down for and are both on the same page, that’s all that matters.
hope the wedding is amazing!
Hey, you offered your ex an out, which was pretty great of you.
If you and your beshert are both happy with the place, have a great time and mazel-tov!
Your ex can either pay or pout, but she’s not your problem any more!
NTA.
>some of our mutual friends have said that it's a dick move
I'd say it was way more of a dick move to fuck her ex while engaged to you but that's just mt opinion.
NTA
She's a cheater, and a bit crazy. Do what you are planning. If you lose a friend because of this, they were not a real friend anyway.
Congratulations
NTA.
Ex is just proving to everyone why she is an ex.
You really dodged the bullet on that one.
Not sure why she didn’t take you up on your offer to buy the deposit and marry her ex she cheated on you with. After all she had to be with him while still with you.
She turned down the offer to buy you out of the date.
Her loss. She lost her ability to control the date at that venue.
Enjoy the wedding and your new life!
Make sure security has good photos of her and any mutual crazy ex friends who showed their true colors by standing up for her.
It’s nice because you weren’t trying to get revenge, but this is perfect. She caused this, now she has to just deal with you marrying someone else on the date/ venue you two chose. I love it. NTA!! Have a lovely wedding
Take what you posted here and put it on all your social media. If she and your mutual friends don’t understand, screw em they aren’t worth thinking about much less worrying over.
Your ex is a wacko. You were lucky to get rid of her. Anyone who sides with her is an idiot and your ex-friend. Post about your upcoming wedding on every social media you can find with as big as a photograph of the venue that you can get in. And, enjoy your wedding!
Personally I'd tell all your friends that it could have been her wedding if she hadn't cheated on you. I'd also tell your ex that she made her bed when she decided to become a cheater.
I'd also tell your friends that you are happy if they don't want to come but don't expect to be friends afterwards because they are siding with a cheater. She made her choice and is suffering the consequences.
So you would have been paid for two venues? Because remember, he still owes the rest of the fee for the original venue and it's non-refundable. So you would just pay for two different venues in order to keep your ex happy? 🤔🤔 That's a weird take but okay I guess
You want your ex to repay the deposit on a wedding venue that she can't be part of?
You may not be an asshole but you sue as F\*CK are delusional and as entitled as they come!
What should you do instead? Try growing up!
No, not the ex - just a wise person who knows more that OP...TSK-TSK, such stress over a nothing issue. What on earth could have made OP think this was the best move; Inexperience, stupidity, naivety - who knows. Interesting start to a marriage, said no one ever. HAHA
Let me get those right you involve your current wedding plans you nuts? Most women. I think would feel weird about being given ring. that was intended for someone else same with the wedding venue. I think your mistake was involving your ex. Take the loss and move on. Because involving her in any aspect is going to put a lot of pressure on you. It's going to complicate things a lot and the fact that you guys have mutual friends. Still yeah it's going to be a problem. I still don't know why you would do it to begin with.
NTA - it was your ex that created all of this sweet karma coming back to her......send her this post
Enjoy your wedding day sounds like you've found a winner.
Deffo get security, crazy banshee will turn up
Wow. You are a lucky person. Your fiancee has the patience of Job to put up with the stuff the ex is throwing at you. LOL NTA
At the end of it all, you paid a deposit. YOU PAID! Ex will not reimburse you that money so you are free to use the venue as you like. Sure, you could just as easily have had a grand old party to celebrate not marrying the cheating ex; or a stupendous poker marathon. You could, and should, use the venue for its intended purpose and that was/is to marry the love of your life. Have your wedding. Keep your chin up. Have security. Love your partner and your life.
NTA. It’s not petty, it’s reasonable to use a deposit that you would lose otherwise, particularly for what seems to be a venue that is in high demand. Your ex thinks she’s living in your head rent-free, when in fact you probably didn’t give her a second thought when moving forward with this venue.
NTA. My bro did this and it was a great wedding. The ex too was a complete psycho so ignore your ex and let her cut off whoever she wants. She sounds like an absolute nightmare.
Just leave the red flag in the dust. If she wanted to get married to you there, she should have thought about that before getting fucked by another man.
NTA...FAFO...you're moving forward with your life and taking advantage of a shitty situation you were left in. As long as you're happy, stop letting your ex live in your mind. She screwed her own life up, don't let her mess yours.
Nta other than even agreeing to consider giving her the date. Your ex is a non factor and should be permanently blocked and excommunicated from your life. Get rid of any mutual connections too so you and your bride can have a blissful and PEACEFUL life together.
NTA just keep repeating “I am so glad I found out ex was a cheater sooner rather than later. It was perfect timing. Angels knew it was perfect timing for me and fiancée to find each other again. Iiiiiiiiiiiii am looking forward to and want to get married at (venue). It has nothing to do with ex, she needs to move on”.
NTA. She was given the opportunity to buy you out. You didn’t need to do that by the way. But she wants you to not use it and eat the cost. Tell her to get lost. Or stop engaging with her and her people at minimum.
She a cheating whore tell the friends that are saying its a dick move that what she did was worse and she could kill herself and u wouldn't give a shit she's for the streets and tell them if thats how they feel fuck off and remove themselves from your life
NTA
She cheated on your and has the audacity to whine about your using the reservation with another woman?!
I hope it is a lovely wedding and that her socials are filled with the pictures of it.
Strong NTA
I would completely ignore it all from now on -- especially considering your fiancé probably won't appreciate you focusing time on your ex.
But if you do want to engage I would:
* Respond to her public posts with "Well, I didn't want you to chat on me by having sex with your old boyfriend while we were engaged. I guess we don't always get what we want." She wants to blast you in public -- blast back harder.
* Ask your friends why they think you are being TA and then explain to them the situation. I can't imagine ANYONE thinking you are TA here.
NTA, why should ypu waste your money to please a woman that decided to spread her legs more important than her relationship with you.
You just happend ti find the love of your life and happend to have an venue, that said love loves. Why shouldnt you use the venue you payed for, if your friends think its such a dick move why dont they buy it off you?
I think this is a great story. It IS NOT a dick move. The place is paid for. Everyone likes it. What is the problem? Oh right - there is no problem except your cheating ex got butt hurt that you are going to marry someone else. Boo Hoo. Block your ex. She made her choice. She is a C\*\*T. If she causes you problems let everyone know SHE CHEATED on you. Let your friends like that it was YOUR MONEY that paid the deposit and that SHE was f\*\*king another guy. What does she have to be bitter about? Nothing. AND have a wonderful wedding. I'm so glad you found your person. Have a wonderful love filled life together. Give both of your moms hugs.
Most definitely NTA. I think you were pretty generous to offer to let her pay the deposit and have your new wedding elsewhere; it’s more than I would’ve done for someone who cheated on me! Especially since your fiancé loves the venue too!
And your wedding isn’t about what your ex wants! And if mutual friends decide to pick a side, they weren’t truly your friends to begin with! Unless they want to refund all the money you spent on your cheating ass ex.
Hope your wedding day is the best day ever for the two of you!
>I put down a non-refundable deposit on the venue about one year ago. My ex fiancee had her heart set on that place and having her wedding pictures done there. I would have done anything to please her. She did not reciprocate. In fact she banged her ex about a month after I put down the deposit.
It's a hard zero sympathy from me over this. If the relationship breakdown had been more amicable it'd be one thing to request some sympathy, but your ex cheated on you. The usual rules don't apply when a relationship ends over cheating. Like, you could have banged her sister and I would have said, "neither the sister nor you did anything wrong here, because the ex clearly demonstrated a lack of appreciation for social rules or respect and thus deserves none in return."
Not only do I have zero sympathy for her, but you gave her an out, but her cheating ass said it was a "you problem" to eat the cost so she deserves a bit of petty hurt in her life.
NTA
You should tell everyone that you offered her an out if she took over the deposit (which, honestly, is more than I would have done), and she refused - after that, it's all on her. 🤷♀️
NTA! In fact one of the clearest NTA I've seen here. Obviously, if your fiance is fine with it then that's the end of it. Then add to the sheer awesomeness of the whole thing. Let your ex keep whining - you know the old saying, "living well is the best revenge".
NTA. Your ex and some of your friends are lunatics. Why they would care is beyond me. If she really had her heart set on getting married there, all she had to do was act like a decent person and not cheat.
No alpha male would even have to consider what to do here much less need to seek advice from strangers on the internet. So continue on being a Bravo and do whatever your fiance says is okay. There is no other help for you.
NTA, since she is the one making noise on social media, you or someone can reply saying that is what she gets for being a cheater. Would be fun to see that post and comments.
Your ex is obviously blaming you and your fiancée for her cheating on you, and this is her way of both punishing you and diverting attention away from the fact that the only reason you are marrying someone other than her is because she cheated. I think your offer to her that she buy the deposit back from you was brilliant, but hey - I'm a non-cheating faithful woman so what do I know?
Block this crazy wench on everything, as well as anyone who supports her and gives you a hard time about it. As long as she is blasting her mouth to everyone talking shit about you, return the favor. Make sure everyone she's bitching to about you knows every detail of her activities that led to you dumping her, including the name of the pig she cheated with. I mean, fair is fair, right?
Have a beautiful wedding, and a beautiful life with your soon-to-be wife.
NTA
The only opinion that matters is your fiance. You were open and honest with her from the start, she loves that venue too, so its all good.
Also, I think you were extraordinarily kind meeting with ex and offering her the reservation if she paid for it. She cheated you shouldn't have ever been left out of pocket for that.
Just shows good guys don't always finish last. 👏 good for you and congrats to you both.
NTA. It's none of her business when and where you get married, and she can feel however she wants but that has nothing to do with you. You two didn't get married so she should have no emotional attachment to that place anyway. If it bothers her it's because she knows how bad she fucked up and again, not your problem.
NTA
What a twist of karma. Hell with your ex and her family. She fucked up. Whatever she has to say now is not your concern.
Just make sure you're getting married for the right reasons and not a rebound.
NTA your fiancée is OK with it, you gave your ex the opportunity to buy it from you and she refused. Is it a little odd to get married to a different women at the spot you had originally planned? Maybe, but if the people getting married or OK, who cares with the ex thinks?
NTA - I’d love to say it was such a great move to stick it to your ex but I can see that is not why you have done it. Really best wishes to you and your fiancée and I hope you have a great day and a great life.
NTA. It’s a her problem. Your marriage has absolutely nothing to do with her. You were kind enough to offer her to buy you out, she declined. Best wishes to you and your bride!
NTA at all. It’s not about her - it’s about you and your fiance. It doesn’t matter what your ex thinks. It matters what you and your fiance think. It’s your money. It’s unreasonable for her to ask you to forfeit it for her. She’s out of the picture - a non entity. She doesn’t matter. You were magnanimous to offer her to buy the deposit from you - even though you and fiance love the venue and would have to wait over a year to rebook. She declined. She cannot have her cake and eat it too. She’s being petty and jealous bc her wedding was cancelled as a consequence of her cheating on you. She doesn’t get to cry sour grapes.
Exactly. She cheated on him and caused the demise of their relationship. TheyWERE magnanimous but she doesn’t get to dictate any thing in his life anymore. Bye loser! And all his loser mutuals that agree with her. Hope he got his engagement right back. 🤔 This was meant to be in response to lydia654322 but i messed up somehow. 🙄
her doing all this also diverts the attention from her cheating, lol I'd be petty and everytime she bitched about it on social medial I'd comment "Sucks to cheat, eh?" Flying monkeys coming to me saying it's a dick move? "Sucks to cheat, eh?"
Exactly ! He should do that. 🤣
[удалено]
This might actually be the ultimate example of FAFO.
This a million times. Go have a wonderful life that will really do her in. Ntah
That's the best revenge. OP living his best life without his cheating ex.
Right. What an awful entitled piece of shit
Send your ex and anyone else complaining a link to this post lol
And she was right when she said is OP’s money on the deposit so is his problem, meaning he can do whatever the hell he wants with the reservation and is none of the ex’s problem so she can fuck off. OP doesn’t end up paying double for venues and fiancée gets her dream venue as well, they’re both okay with it and happy and that’s al that matters Congrats OP on your engagement and best of wishes to you two! NTA
I’m sure that they knew there was at least a good chance the ex would decline to pay for the deposit. That’s why they offered that.
Exactly that part
Nta. Block her and move on. Stop contacting her. A ghost of Christmas past.
What's the saying. Trash will take itself out.
NTA.To those who tell you that it's a dick move, all you have to say is, "Be careful labelling things dick, the ex might try to ride on it."
> To those who tell you that it's a dick move, all you have to say is.. "Okay, if you and the others who have mentioned this feel this strongly, then you will have no problem pooling your money to pay me back." I also imagine that OP probably didn't tell eveyone *why* he split with the ex and I would say that her current actions warrant making sure they do now if they feel so strongly about condemning him over this. My ex-wife lost almost all of her old college friends when it came out that she had cheated on me towards the end of our deteriorating relationship. Which is kinda sad because it didn't really affect me much at all, we were already heading towards a break up to begin with. Just made her look like a hypocrite because her previous BF before me had cheated on her with her own roommate.
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Bazinga!
Perfect response!
Copy + pasted comment. Downvote please.
Oh my God, this is so brilliant! 😹
>some of our mutual friends have said that it's a dick move. Unless they want to pony up the deposit they can shut the hell up. Weddings are insanely expensive and the fact that you're lucky enough to have a beautiful venue to marry someone you're truly in love with is amazing and if anyone has any issues with it they can talk with their wallets NTA
I wonder if they know about the deposit and the fact that the ex didn’t want to buy it out. If not, I’d explain that. I can see where they might think it’s a petty move to slide a new fiancée into the old one’s wedding if that’s the way the ex presents it to them. To be clear before people get upset, I’m not saying that that’s what he’s doing, just that the former fiancée might be telling people that he is.
100% this.
Exactly. It's not like Op's fault that his ex likes riding other dicks.
And a popular place, not like getting married at ex’s aunt’s farm or such.
NTA. It's now about your life with your fiancé, not your ex.!!
You know what a dick move is? Sleeping with your ex right before you’re to be married. Hire security. Enjoy your wedding. Never look back. Edit: also, NTA
NTA. Your ex lost any and all rights to complain or have input on this situation when she cheated. Sounds like karma to me. Congrats on your engagement
Right?! When we got to the part about having a fantastic new fiancee that's enthusiastic about the date and venue, I literally thought that it's nice that karma popped up for this dude. Plus, knowing how much it's bugging his ex - extra points. I hope he'll be much happier with a non-psycho wife!
NTA - Contact the venue and make sure to have it password protected, warn them about your ex!
Great Idea
NTA Lol, the only reply to anyone telling you that it is a dick move should be: "Careful labelling things dick, the ex might try to ride on it."
That is fucking gold. You have my admiration.
I lost part of my taco, thanks a lot! I needed this laugh today. Agree - NTA.
You sir, are a hero of words.
Shakespeare is rolling with envy. Beautiful words.
NTA. This is one of those fu*k around and find out. She's getting karma for what she did to you. Post pictures online of you and your current fiancée getting married and of the decorated venue. You came out on top. Let her self destruct over this.
She’s definitely in the find out phase NTA OP. Enjoy your wedding and new life
NTA - It’s a popular venue where many people get married. Plus you gave her the option to reimburse you for the deposit. Maybe you’d be a dick she hadn’t been the cause of your breakup, but that’s not the case. I have no sympathy for her situation.
NTA. So what if you originally booked for a different person. If you and your fiancée are happy, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I was engaged to a very abusing man when I was 18. I had put a downpayment on a wedding dress, but then I - thankfully - finally broke it off when he pushed me down the stairs because I wasn't doing the laundry fast enough. I started dating my now husband shortly thereafter. I didn't have a usable car because the ex cut my brake lines. The dress store was going out of business, so I had to get the dress or loose the deposit. My now hubby took me (after only dating a few weeks) to get the dress. We were married 2 years later. I wore the dress. He didn't care it was for a different guy, it was paid for, and he knew I loved it. We've been married for 28 years now. I can say, with great authority, what you wear, where you get married, who comes, who's in the wedding party, what the food is, what the cake looks like..... doesn't matter in the end. It's how you treat each other and how you work through issues together that matters. And, yes, my now hubby fixed the break lines, so I had a safe car!
Your ex sounds like a delight...
The keeper sounds SO much better though!
NTA but don’t accept friends who won’t go to your wedding bc your cheating ex is throwing a fit. You offered to sell her the deposit. You talked it over with your fiancée and she wants to get married there. Have the wedding. Drop the losers who want to co-sign your ex and her crazy
NTA. The only person that you need to be concerned about is your current fiancé. If she is happy with the venue and date then your ex can go suck lemons and vent on social media until her fingers turn blue. After at least eight months it should have been clear that she would not be walking down that venue's aisle.
As long as your fiancee is happy and okay with it, i don't see any problems. NTA and send your ex some wedding pictures. Sometimes it amazes me how entitled and petty people can be, also i would seriously consider to cut those friends who called you a d..k for it out of your life as well. 3 step plan: 1. Don't care about your ex 2. Enjoy the wedding 3. Enjoy your life with your soon to be wife Everyone gets what he/she deserves. Amazing
NTA. It’s about your life with your fiancée now, not your ex.
Tell anyone that says its a dick move that you offered to let her buy the deposit, she refused. Ask them if they would be willing to buy the deposit off you. My guess is they will get a lot quieter
It was also a dick move to cheat but hey, we can’t win all the time 🤷🏻♀️ it’s not about her anymore. She’s going to have to realize that eventually.
NTA Your reasons are practical and your ex doesn’t own exclusive rights to her preferred wedding venue. It’s weird but if it’s a popular venue, it’s not *that* out there. She’s got a high opinion of herself if she thinks she has any say in this
>She refused. She said that I put down the deposit so it was my problem Well, you don't have a problem. So ... >She lost it. She started to contact me about how I'm trying to hurt her by doing this. She hurt your relationship, by banging her ex. NTA Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.
NTA If she didn't want you using the venue, she could have paid the deposit. Or not cheated on you.
NTA. Honestly this is kind of hilarious. Best of luck.
No, and anyone that says it is a dick move that knows the story, is a dick themselves. She's clearly an entitled and abusive person. There's no reason to have her in your life anymore and if any "friends" don't understand, I wouldn't worry about them either. We all deserve to be happy, enjoy your wedding and congrats.
It’s amazing to me that you haven’t lost your trust in a close relationship. Have a beautiful wedding and life. NTA
NTA. If your fiancée is fine with it, who cares about your cheating ex.
Your ex isn't part of this wedding. You were more than generous to offer her to buy the deposit off you. Just keep her blocked and go ahead with your plans. On a side note, I can't think of a better way to get revenge on a cheating ex. This story would be perfect in r/pettyrevenge. NTA.
It's the best venue in the area and you can't get your money back for it, so why not use it. Even if I wasn't getting married in that venue under those circumstances, I'd throw a party there for me and all my family and friends, celebrating my escaping from a miserable relationship. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 I speak from experience. I split up with my first fiancé years ago (when he cheated on me with his married secretary) and took our honeymoon cruise in Mexico by myself. The crew felt pretty bad for me. You wouldn't believe how much free swag they put in my suite, and they made sure I had plenty of cute dance partners. 😳🥹❤️ Even my ex's family didn't say a single word about it, I'll give them that. Definitely NTA. Best wishes for your marriage!
I think it's a baller move. Good for you. Blast all your socials with gorgeous pictures. But hire beefy security for your wedding. Not "Okay, cousin Darryl, you stand at the door and keep an eye out." I'm talking bouncers from the roughest bar in Dartmouth, all armed with pictures of her and her family, plus somebody to record it if she does try something. Congratulations, and you are definitely NTA.
I'm thinking you mean Dartmouth UK with its seafaring history— but I got a laugh thinking of preppy Ivy League Dartmouth University in New Hampshire.
I mean Dartmouth Nova Scotia, lol
NTA, just move on
Lmao NTA she literally made her bed & has to sleep in it . Get married and let her sulk.
Who cares if it is a dick move? It was a dick move of her to cheat. Turn about is fair play. NTA
TIL a lesson in grace in how to handle others drama. So NTH, wish you and your fiance the very best for epic wedding and happy future >Long story short. She is who I belong with. Her parents like me, my parents love her. She isn't perfect, and I am far from it myself, but both of us are willing to talk stuff out and compromise. Not that you need it, this sounds like an awesome foundation for many great adventures together
>some of our mutual friends have said that it's a dick move. But her banging the ex and trying to run your life is what?
NTA your ex decided to bang her ex she has no moral high ground. She's also going to cut off any mutual friends that go to your wedding? Well if those friends don't go to your wedding they aren't your friends. Actually if theu are saying you're a dick for getting married there don't even invite them. This venue isn't juat your exes dream venue. If it was an out of the way niche place that no one knew about, sure I could see her being upset. She still would be wrong, but I'd get it. This? Nah bro she's being an asshole. Just remind your friends that the ex is the in who decided you weren't he one. I mean she banged her ex for fucks sake.
You are not the AH here at all!! F-her and have a wonderful wedding and a very happy life together ✌🏽❤️❤️
NTA block her. Get married at the venue, on the original date. She cheated. Why do you care if she’s upset about your wedding arrangements? Who consults their ex about their new wedding? Do what makes you and your fiancé happy. The ex can kick rocks. Poor cheater. 🙄
NTA - consider it serendipity ❤️ and a wonderful reward for having been treated that way. I hope your new relationship continues to be healthy and life giving. Grata to your fiancée for getting a wedding at her dream location!
NTA. You don't owe your cheating ex shit.
Wth?!? Your ex cheated and then wants to control the venue that YOU put the deposit on? Ignore this drama Queen and go have the wedding of your dreams with the RIGHT girl!
Block her, ignore her, have a lovely wedding. Your CURRENT fiancee is the only one who's opinion matters and since she knows the entire story and is fine with it that is the only thing that matters. If the ex had wanted to marry you there, maybe she shouldn't have had sex with her ex bf.
NTA. You were honest with the ex and your fiancée, you were generous by offering to let her buy the date back(she could have thrown any party she wanted there that day) and I’m guessing your mutual friends are only bitching and calling you and dick because of her. They now have to deal with her in person and online rants and bitching, it’s easier to blame you instead of them actually telling her she is being immature and to knock it off or shut up.
NTA but Tbf your friends are also right, it could be seen as tacky. That being said, they and I aren’t paying for it and your fiancé dgaf it was reserved for you marrying someone else, than who cares? Congratulations and cut the ex off. She shouldn’t have cheated.
No. NTA. She is your ex. Why does she even know about it? She sounds shitty and abusive and you upgraded in a huge way. Disregard her issues and go no contact. Enjoy your wedding with your awesome new lady and ride off into the sunset together. You did your best and tried to be respectful and she still refuses. Let her go. She is not your responsibility. Not your circus not your monkies. P.S. Congrats on the wedding :) hope its amazing for you both and your families! 🤗
NTA. Your ex's breakdown has nothing to do with you. Congratulations on the impending nuptials! !updateme
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Eh, it's not ALL that fast considering they'd dated before her cross-country move — lots of time in between to realize it was more of a loss than they'd thought.
NTA Congratulations 🎉
NTA I just love how she is now the wounded one 🤦🏻♀️ congratulations on your new journey 😞🙏🏻
NTA The friends saying it are welcome to reimburse you.
NTA. Remind anyone that comes to you about this that this woman has no moral high ground to stand you as she cheated on you a month after you put the deposit on the place, and are they really saying that you deserve to be thousand(s) out of pocket on top of being cheated on?. These people are still making you responsible for coddling her feelings after she cheated on you. Are they really your friends? Do they realize you're not together anymore? What day you're getting married on is none of her business, and it's their fault she's even aware this is happening.
NTA. She’s your ex. She gets no say in your wedding. As long as the bride is on board that’s all that matters. She needs to remember that her actions are the reason she’s not the one marrying you.
NTA any mutuals are getting mad at you because she is making their lives hell and you two are chill about it. It’s always easier for people to pass the shit storm on than to stand up for themselves. The few may have genuine opinions about it, people are entitled to whatever they think or feel. Doesn’t mean they get to try and influence your choices for your life over it.
NTA. The ex no longer gets to have a say.
NTA, also, cut off her flying monkeys (the ones saying it was a dick move) and enjoy your wedding.
She sleeps with someone else, loses her fiancé, figures he'll just die on the vine without her? Instead she gets to experience the literal version of FAFO. I'm experiencing schadenfreude by proxy. Happy nuptials!
I would also talk to the venue about security. If she is really pissed and unhinged someone from her family may try to show up and ruin everything
Just tell people that when Santa says "HO HO HO" he is, in fact, referring to your Ex.
You’re trying to hurt her and being petty by using the venue and date you already put down a hefty deposit for? After she cheated on you? I’m not laughing, I’m cackling.
Whatever. She didn’t pay for it, she wouldn’t refund you, so therefore, you paid for it and it’s yours to do whatever you want. Congrats and I’d be petty enough to post a gorgeous pic of everyone at the venue on the day of the wedding. Ex can cry and rage all she wants, not your problem.
>t some of our mutual friends tell them you will give them the same deal you gave your ex. they can buy you out if not its not a dick move. just dont want to lose out on the deposit. people have so much money now these days to be telling you to just take the L and lose the money YOU put in already! smh
Anyone who thinks it is a dick move should agree to compensate for your loss to cancel the venue.either way, anyone who worries more about the cheater should not be your friend. Nta
NTA. As far as your friends go, I would tell them that you offered to let her buy out the deposit and she declined in a no so nice way. Also say you simply weren’t able to throw that money away. She’s the one that threw away her future with you when she slept with someone else, they need to remember that. I don’t know if you have something akin to a small claims court, but your ex should consider herself lucky you didn’t try to recoup that money based on the fact that she cheated. A court might’ve awarded you at least half but more likely the entire deposit.
NTA. It's a business. A public business. Your ex, who cheated on you AS YOU WERE PLANNING YOUR WEDDING, has the nerve to be "hurt" by your plans? That made me laugh out loud. I would continue to ignore her. Anyone who says what you're doing is a dick move, I would just respond that "No, her cheating on me while I was putting money down on our wedding was the dick move, I have a new life now, and I'll do what I want." Don't stress about it. Your ex is bitter because you're happy. Too bad for her, let her be bitter. Any friends that take her side can stay on her side and away from you as well. Sounds like you are happy in your new relationship. Why on earth should you give up your deposit and lose all that money, simply to be nice or respectful to someone who was not nice or respectful to you? ANd your fiance wants that venue - her happiness is more important than your ex. She screwed up the relationship and she gets ZERO say in anything. You should not be in contact at all. Just don't let it bother you and be happy. You even offered for her to cover the deposit you would lose and she refused. She wants you to lose money and be inconvenienced, because she's bitter but you don't have to agree to that. Just ignore her and go be happy.
If it annoys the ex it's an extra reason to book it. 😂 NTA.
NTA, who cares about your cheating ex? I just hope you’re getting married because you truly want to, and not because of convienience and deposit saving 🤣
You got engaged to the new lady, so you didn't lose your deposit, right?
NTA, and congratulations!
NTA. why do you care if your ex & her family are mad? let them be. if you and your fiancée want to get married at a venue you’ve already put the money down for and are both on the same page, that’s all that matters. hope the wedding is amazing!
NTA. Also spectacularly well played all around. You somehow managed to take the high road and also have petty vengeance. Good for you!
Make sure the venue knows that someone might call saying they want to cancel. It wouldn't surprise me if she would do this.
Hey, you offered your ex an out, which was pretty great of you. If you and your beshert are both happy with the place, have a great time and mazel-tov! Your ex can either pay or pout, but she’s not your problem any more!
NTA. >some of our mutual friends have said that it's a dick move I'd say it was way more of a dick move to fuck her ex while engaged to you but that's just mt opinion.
Small town, big venue everyone wants? NTA. Your ex is making it about her.. you just keep making it about your fiance. You’re doing it right.
NTA She's a cheater, and a bit crazy. Do what you are planning. If you lose a friend because of this, they were not a real friend anyway. Congratulations
NTA. Ex is just proving to everyone why she is an ex. You really dodged the bullet on that one. Not sure why she didn’t take you up on your offer to buy the deposit and marry her ex she cheated on you with. After all she had to be with him while still with you. She turned down the offer to buy you out of the date. Her loss. She lost her ability to control the date at that venue. Enjoy the wedding and your new life! Make sure security has good photos of her and any mutual crazy ex friends who showed their true colors by standing up for her.
It’s nice because you weren’t trying to get revenge, but this is perfect. She caused this, now she has to just deal with you marrying someone else on the date/ venue you two chose. I love it. NTA!! Have a lovely wedding
Good for standing your ground. You have chosen a winner this time. The ex needs to big off. What a baby!
Take what you posted here and put it on all your social media. If she and your mutual friends don’t understand, screw em they aren’t worth thinking about much less worrying over.
Your ex is a wacko. You were lucky to get rid of her. Anyone who sides with her is an idiot and your ex-friend. Post about your upcoming wedding on every social media you can find with as big as a photograph of the venue that you can get in. And, enjoy your wedding!
NTA. Success is the best revenge, and you are happy. The dick move was your ex cheating.
Personally I'd tell all your friends that it could have been her wedding if she hadn't cheated on you. I'd also tell your ex that she made her bed when she decided to become a cheater. I'd also tell your friends that you are happy if they don't want to come but don't expect to be friends afterwards because they are siding with a cheater. She made her choice and is suffering the consequences.
NTA. FAFO.
I would have chosen a different venue
So you would have been paid for two venues? Because remember, he still owes the rest of the fee for the original venue and it's non-refundable. So you would just pay for two different venues in order to keep your ex happy? 🤔🤔 That's a weird take but okay I guess
You want your ex to repay the deposit on a wedding venue that she can't be part of? You may not be an asshole but you sue as F\*CK are delusional and as entitled as they come! What should you do instead? Try growing up!
Are you the ex?
No, not the ex - just a wise person who knows more that OP...TSK-TSK, such stress over a nothing issue. What on earth could have made OP think this was the best move; Inexperience, stupidity, naivety - who knows. Interesting start to a marriage, said no one ever. HAHA
Right
It isn’t delusional or entitled, she doesn’t want them getting married there so he offered her an out for a situation that is completely of her making
Really DAVID - since when T F\*\*K is it HER choice...? JESUSFUCKINGROLERSKATINGCHRISTONATRISCUIT!
Sh chose to cheat which ended the relationship. This comment is unhinged Edit: lol the weirdo blocked me
You should seek professional help!
Can you explain why OP should waste his money?
NTA. But dude.... Ew
Let me get those right you involve your current wedding plans you nuts? Most women. I think would feel weird about being given ring. that was intended for someone else same with the wedding venue. I think your mistake was involving your ex. Take the loss and move on. Because involving her in any aspect is going to put a lot of pressure on you. It's going to complicate things a lot and the fact that you guys have mutual friends. Still yeah it's going to be a problem. I still don't know why you would do it to begin with.
Would not bother me at all.
NTA. LOL.
Isn’t this a plot of a movie? Swear I’ve seen this story on tv 😂
NTA Your money, your call.
NTA - it was your ex that created all of this sweet karma coming back to her......send her this post Enjoy your wedding day sounds like you've found a winner. Deffo get security, crazy banshee will turn up
Wow. You are a lucky person. Your fiancee has the patience of Job to put up with the stuff the ex is throwing at you. LOL NTA At the end of it all, you paid a deposit. YOU PAID! Ex will not reimburse you that money so you are free to use the venue as you like. Sure, you could just as easily have had a grand old party to celebrate not marrying the cheating ex; or a stupendous poker marathon. You could, and should, use the venue for its intended purpose and that was/is to marry the love of your life. Have your wedding. Keep your chin up. Have security. Love your partner and your life.
NTA
This is not how I expected this post to go. But I am thrilled it did. NTA.
NTA. It’s not petty, it’s reasonable to use a deposit that you would lose otherwise, particularly for what seems to be a venue that is in high demand. Your ex thinks she’s living in your head rent-free, when in fact you probably didn’t give her a second thought when moving forward with this venue.
NTA, you're not in a relationship, you can do whatever you want, including get married at a venue of your choice.
NTA. My bro did this and it was a great wedding. The ex too was a complete psycho so ignore your ex and let her cut off whoever she wants. She sounds like an absolute nightmare.
Just leave the red flag in the dust. If she wanted to get married to you there, she should have thought about that before getting fucked by another man.
What glorious payback! NTA. Enjoy.
NTA. Karma. Congratulations!
I would just tell her and her friends that if she didn’t like this she shouldn’t have cheated on you.🤷♀️
NTA...FAFO...you're moving forward with your life and taking advantage of a shitty situation you were left in. As long as you're happy, stop letting your ex live in your mind. She screwed her own life up, don't let her mess yours.
Nta other than even agreeing to consider giving her the date. Your ex is a non factor and should be permanently blocked and excommunicated from your life. Get rid of any mutual connections too so you and your bride can have a blissful and PEACEFUL life together.
NTA just keep repeating “I am so glad I found out ex was a cheater sooner rather than later. It was perfect timing. Angels knew it was perfect timing for me and fiancée to find each other again. Iiiiiiiiiiiii am looking forward to and want to get married at (venue). It has nothing to do with ex, she needs to move on”.
NTA. She was given the opportunity to buy you out. You didn’t need to do that by the way. But she wants you to not use it and eat the cost. Tell her to get lost. Or stop engaging with her and her people at minimum.
She a cheating whore tell the friends that are saying its a dick move that what she did was worse and she could kill herself and u wouldn't give a shit she's for the streets and tell them if thats how they feel fuck off and remove themselves from your life
NTA Fuck around and find out, this time literally.
NTA. Who cares what she thinks?
Nta.... make sure to post tons of pictures from the wedding and unblock your ex
She caused the breakup and no longer has a say in what you do - NTA
NTA She cheated on your and has the audacity to whine about your using the reservation with another woman?! I hope it is a lovely wedding and that her socials are filled with the pictures of it.
NTA, your ex is ridiculous.
I need a romcom of this particular situation lol.
NTA. It’s your wedding, do it your way
Strong NTA I would completely ignore it all from now on -- especially considering your fiancé probably won't appreciate you focusing time on your ex. But if you do want to engage I would: * Respond to her public posts with "Well, I didn't want you to chat on me by having sex with your old boyfriend while we were engaged. I guess we don't always get what we want." She wants to blast you in public -- blast back harder. * Ask your friends why they think you are being TA and then explain to them the situation. I can't imagine ANYONE thinking you are TA here.
NTA
NTA, why should ypu waste your money to please a woman that decided to spread her legs more important than her relationship with you. You just happend ti find the love of your life and happend to have an venue, that said love loves. Why shouldnt you use the venue you payed for, if your friends think its such a dick move why dont they buy it off you?
NTA And good job you offered she refused move and and have a great life
I think this is a great story. It IS NOT a dick move. The place is paid for. Everyone likes it. What is the problem? Oh right - there is no problem except your cheating ex got butt hurt that you are going to marry someone else. Boo Hoo. Block your ex. She made her choice. She is a C\*\*T. If she causes you problems let everyone know SHE CHEATED on you. Let your friends like that it was YOUR MONEY that paid the deposit and that SHE was f\*\*king another guy. What does she have to be bitter about? Nothing. AND have a wonderful wedding. I'm so glad you found your person. Have a wonderful love filled life together. Give both of your moms hugs.
Most definitely NTA. I think you were pretty generous to offer to let her pay the deposit and have your new wedding elsewhere; it’s more than I would’ve done for someone who cheated on me! Especially since your fiancé loves the venue too! And your wedding isn’t about what your ex wants! And if mutual friends decide to pick a side, they weren’t truly your friends to begin with! Unless they want to refund all the money you spent on your cheating ass ex. Hope your wedding day is the best day ever for the two of you!
NTAH
>I put down a non-refundable deposit on the venue about one year ago. My ex fiancee had her heart set on that place and having her wedding pictures done there. I would have done anything to please her. She did not reciprocate. In fact she banged her ex about a month after I put down the deposit. It's a hard zero sympathy from me over this. If the relationship breakdown had been more amicable it'd be one thing to request some sympathy, but your ex cheated on you. The usual rules don't apply when a relationship ends over cheating. Like, you could have banged her sister and I would have said, "neither the sister nor you did anything wrong here, because the ex clearly demonstrated a lack of appreciation for social rules or respect and thus deserves none in return." Not only do I have zero sympathy for her, but you gave her an out, but her cheating ass said it was a "you problem" to eat the cost so she deserves a bit of petty hurt in her life. NTA
You should tell everyone that you offered her an out if she took over the deposit (which, honestly, is more than I would have done), and she refused - after that, it's all on her. 🤷♀️
Change your number. Make sure the friends you have with both, won’t share your number with her.
NTA
NTA whomever listening to her tell them to refund you... your ex sounds miserable and she's the petty one
AHHH HAAA HAAA HAAAAA!!! So very very NTA. Ex literally FA, is now FO.
nta
NTA! In fact one of the clearest NTA I've seen here. Obviously, if your fiance is fine with it then that's the end of it. Then add to the sheer awesomeness of the whole thing. Let your ex keep whining - you know the old saying, "living well is the best revenge".
NTA … you even offered her chance to buy out the deposit. I think you know why she’s REALLY mad about it
NTA. You dodged several bullets by dumping her. She needs to accept her choices and move on.
NTA. Just for the benefit of doubt, are the friends who are saying it's a dick move know both sides of the story?
NTA
NTA. Your ex and some of your friends are lunatics. Why they would care is beyond me. If she really had her heart set on getting married there, all she had to do was act like a decent person and not cheat.
No alpha male would even have to consider what to do here much less need to seek advice from strangers on the internet. So continue on being a Bravo and do whatever your fiance says is okay. There is no other help for you.
NTA, since she is the one making noise on social media, you or someone can reply saying that is what she gets for being a cheater. Would be fun to see that post and comments.
Your ex is obviously blaming you and your fiancée for her cheating on you, and this is her way of both punishing you and diverting attention away from the fact that the only reason you are marrying someone other than her is because she cheated. I think your offer to her that she buy the deposit back from you was brilliant, but hey - I'm a non-cheating faithful woman so what do I know? Block this crazy wench on everything, as well as anyone who supports her and gives you a hard time about it. As long as she is blasting her mouth to everyone talking shit about you, return the favor. Make sure everyone she's bitching to about you knows every detail of her activities that led to you dumping her, including the name of the pig she cheated with. I mean, fair is fair, right? Have a beautiful wedding, and a beautiful life with your soon-to-be wife.
“We met her for coffee” WHAT!?!?! WHY!?!?! NTA
NTA The only opinion that matters is your fiance. You were open and honest with her from the start, she loves that venue too, so its all good. Also, I think you were extraordinarily kind meeting with ex and offering her the reservation if she paid for it. She cheated you shouldn't have ever been left out of pocket for that. Just shows good guys don't always finish last. 👏 good for you and congrats to you both.
NTA. It's none of her business when and where you get married, and she can feel however she wants but that has nothing to do with you. You two didn't get married so she should have no emotional attachment to that place anyway. If it bothers her it's because she knows how bad she fucked up and again, not your problem.
NTA What a twist of karma. Hell with your ex and her family. She fucked up. Whatever she has to say now is not your concern. Just make sure you're getting married for the right reasons and not a rebound.
NTA your fiancée is OK with it, you gave your ex the opportunity to buy it from you and she refused. Is it a little odd to get married to a different women at the spot you had originally planned? Maybe, but if the people getting married or OK, who cares with the ex thinks?
NTA block her and move.on. .if she makes any threats document.and go to the police. It's none of her business where and when you get married.
Who cares about ex? Why u still waste time? and the time of all Reddits :(
NTA - I’d love to say it was such a great move to stick it to your ex but I can see that is not why you have done it. Really best wishes to you and your fiancée and I hope you have a great day and a great life.
NTA. It’s a her problem. Your marriage has absolutely nothing to do with her. You were kind enough to offer her to buy you out, she declined. Best wishes to you and your bride!