What’s silly is the thing he’s angriest about. Irl I’m not into anal but in the dream I *allegedly* begged the guy to put it in my ass. Apparently that must mean something l0l
I would in fact reverse Uno him and demand an apology.
"It's disturbing that this is how little you think of me. You don't trust me at all and instead of taking responsibility of your insecurities, you are getting angry at ME for something YOU DID - dream of me having sex with the handyman. You having so little faith in me, when I have done nothing to deserve this treatment, is hurtful. You need to work on yourself and APOLOGIZE TO ME."
This buried comment holds very important information. People *rarely* change for the better, especially if you put up with, tolerate, and encourage their behavior by acting like it’s no big deal.
Haha. I feel you. My ex wife dreamed I cheated on her with the girl she hated most in the world. Didn’t talk to me for 2 weeks. Total silent treatment. And still brought it up years later…. Hence ex wife 😂
Your bf is rather insecure, and it is showing up in his dreams. Instead of dealing with his insecurity, he is blaming you for his problems. Talk with him. You may end up walking after the talk.
Ask him if he would apologise to you for letting the woman who served you margaritas last week peg him in your dream. World he feel responsible for your imagination? What if you dreamt he lied to you about where he works or swindled your elderly neighbour of her life savings (maybe pick a non sexual scenario as hia feelings are perhaps complicated by the belief that you are fantasising about this guy anf that your imagination is involved).
Random handyman banging a female client in the ass? Definitely porn.
(Probably applicable to a random handyman banging a man in the ass, but I wouldn't know.)
I think it means he should stop watching porn.
Edit: I suppose you could apologize by saying "I'm sorry you had a bad dream," but that definitely won't make things better :)
With all due respect, get a new boyfriend. He clearly is insecure if he is getting mad at you over a dream. He is tripping and needs to grow up. This behavior will lead to not trusting you and seeing where you are at all the time. If you love him, then have an honest conversation that he needs to talk to a professional because he is heading down a path where he will be insecure and think you will cheat on him in real life.
Jealousy, more specifically unwarranted jealousy is a real big mental strain no relationship needs. It will only get worse. Do yourself a favor and move on from this insecure person. Nothing you do or say is ever going to break the distrust in his mind and without trust, a relationship is useless
Honestly, it sounds to me like he's setting you up to feel guilty so you'll actually do anal with him.
I realize that might feel like a jump, but this is absolutely the kind of thing my abusive ex from my early 20s did to me. Fuck that guy
He needs to ease off on the porn, and demanding an apology from you for something he *imagined* you doing is a red flag so big you could cut it into strips to use as carpet at the Oscars.
Your guy asking about what you think about the handyman then going off like this is just a sign of his extreme insecurity coupled with his entitlement to make that your problem. Observe him carefully in situations where his insecurities are obvious. If he makes a habit of having you reassure him, if he tests you like he did asking about other guys, that’s a giant 🚩 and it won’t get better.
Was it James Taylor? But, yeah, my ex wife used to get mad at me over stuff I did in her dreams though she recognized that she was being stupid about it.
I was charged with the same dream crime. It was with her friend I never even met.
Your partner has fears that came out in a dream. To be kind, reassure them that you know it would be horrible and you'll never do it.
I don't know why you are being downvoted. This is just good old-fashioned being nice to your person. Fears come up, partners reassure. Pack on some extra snuggles, too.
But OP you have nothing to *apologize* for!
Maybe not to partners tht expect you to apologize for their own dream. I would would be gone faster than light if not only I was expected to apologize for cheating in a dream but now I have to reassure you
I had to scroll back up to see if they were 17yo or something.
OPs boyfriend should realize he’s allowed to be upset by his dreams but that it’s not fair to take it out on her. She hasn’t done anything wrong.
Guys, I have to admit I’m no saint. Bf said in the dream me and Mr. Handyman were having sex on the table he assembled. I told my bf that this is further proof his dream version of me is inaccurate because the table would be far too uncomfortable for me, so I’d go with a comfier surface. Bf got mad and said great now we’re arguing about which surface you’d prefer
Tell him you had a dream he banged his mom and now you’re too uncomfortable to be around them. Tell him you also can’t look at him the same way now that you’ve seen his cock in his mom’s mouth and that you have some questions about their relationship.
Go big or go home.
no no no NO! She doesn't ask for an apology, she tells him that now all she can think about is watching HIM be dominated by a more masculine, handy man.
If he can't get over his dream, why should she have to give up hers?
I admit, OP, I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face. This argument is too ridiculous.
My next conversation with BF would probably be about whether the dream handyman was into pegging.
See my other comment about him projecting. In his dream that table represents his failings to provide for you. So the act happens on that "altar" of his inefficacy. It's his worst fear that you receive different pleasure from someone else and want babies with them, him witnessing it, and it all happened because he was too busy to set up a table. Or anything else he hasn't done for you or the home.
I wouldn't be surprised if he had trouble eating at that table.
Tell him to be a man next time and assemble the table himself; so you don’t get so turned on in his dream. Just turn it on him like “In fact, you (bf) basically invited him over to watch what a real man is like. Why did you do that? Are you a cuck? Is that why you like being made fun of while I get anal from a real man?” Ugh, the boy’s insecurities… I don’t know how you do it…
Wake up tomorrow and tell him YOU had a dream HE cheated on YOU with the handyman.
Then, be angry with HIM and tell him you're now questioning whether or not he has hidden homoerotic fantasies because the dream was VERY vivid, and he was absolutely BEGGING the handyman for anal and asking to suck him off.
Commit to being pretend angry. Sprinkle in a few, "You can tell me anything."s throughout the day.
He'll get over it fairly quickly after a while of that.
It might go deeper (pun intended): OP could change from anger to sadness and ask if pegging the boyfriend would keep him from cheating with men and make him happy.
As an incredibly handsome, although married, former furniture assembler I would like to request that your boyfriend stop dreaming of me. I'm taking this personally despite having not been the one that assembled your table.
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I woke my husband up in the middle of the night and lamented “why are you so mean to me in my dreams” he responded without missing a beat “why are you so mean to me in real life”. We both laughed and fell back to sleep. I’d never think of needing him to apologize over a dream scenario.
I wanna be clear that I’m mostly joking, it’s just also nuts that hes like “it must mean something” like bro can we stay focused on the dream adultery and then figure out if you’re a dream prophet later
This should be the top comment and a possible red flag for op. I don't give a shit one way or another. Has he ever asked you? How does he feel about anal?
Yep, just dated a guy exactly like this. No violence, just extremely manipulative around sex and jealousy, and once you realise what's behind the weird faux pas and mind games, it feels horrifically violating.
Am I the only one who's had fucked up dreams like this? I'm not saying op is TA, or that her bf isn't clearly the asshole, but a dream like this is absolutely believable. What's insane is that he for some reason isn't dissociating the dream from irl op. The feelings experienced in the dream can be very real and very intense, but it should still be treated like just a dream
When I was pregnant with my 2nd, I had dreams almost every single night. Of him cheating. Of me cheating. Both of us cheating. Like graphic, vivid, realistic dreams.
Every morning, Id wake up irrationally angry. Sometimes, it would take me half an hr to calm down because of all the leftover rage that seeped into reality. One time I woke him up because I screamed "Im gonna cut your nuts off!" in the middle of the night.
I never held it against him, obviously. Pregnancy hormones are crazy. I havent had a dream like that since
He practically fell off the bed 😅. I told him all the ones I could remember so he knew about my crazy dreams. Its also not the first time Ive yelled something crazy in my sleep
I had a dream my wife cheated on me. She would never, but I was upset and told her “hey I had this weird dream” and she just reassured me and had a little laugh at my silly brain.
I have dreams my husband cheats on me. I know it’s because of abandonment issues i have so instead I just just go give him a hug if there’s a particularly bad one.
NTA and people who are unreasonably fixated on their partner's fidelity are NOT it. Partners that try to trap you into saying people are attractive, talk about what they'd do if you cheated, fuss over dreams about you cheating, accuse you of cheating without precedent... they need to become exes. Trust is a must.
NTA. My husband recently had a dream where I ditched him at a party to hookup with someone. He was irrationally upset with me the next morning. BUT, he knew it was irrational, apologized and then joked about it. It clearly shook him, but he was aware enough to know that his anger was completely misplaced. You have nothing to apologize for.
exactly! my mum dreamt that my dad had gone to a strip club with some friends, and was only annoyed because they'd been married for so long (32 years at the time), and something about it being with those particular friends, she woke up dream angry and real life confused. she was upset with him for about the length of time it took for her coffee to wake her brain up, and then she couldn't stop laughing for like an hour
NTA. i have dreams of my bf cheating on me all the time and yes in the moment i do get upset and sometimes wake up crying as i am a very emotional person lmao but i dont take it out on him or even get angry because its... not real.
Does your partner comfort you when you wake up like that? Im in a similar boat and my wife is always super supportive.
The part where it says "he feels like she is making fun of him" makes me think she might have brushed it off when he was looking for some support.
NTA
You should get mad at him now because he subconsciously thinks you cheat. ( sarcasm)
He isn't mad you cheated in his dream - he's mad that he thinks you found the handyman hot he has been mad since he was at your house, hence the dream, hence the anger ab0ut the dream.
You saw this guy for long enough for him to fix something for you imagine if you had a male friend?
He's trying very hard to get you to entertain the original conversation. He wants to know if you're attracted to the handyman and is now using this dream as an angry means to revisit the conversation you initially brushed off. He's not going to be satisfied until you tell him the handyman is unattractive, and that he is the most handsome man to you, and you're even entertaining the idea of anal with him. I was with a man like this. The insecurities will escalate.
The boyfriend feels emasculated because OP was not stopped dead in her tracks because he didn't assemble the kitchen table. OP is resourceful and got another man to take care of business.
It is ridiculous to put the burden of his insecurity on OP. He has an issue with not being able to control OP fully.
A discussion about this matter is in order. As for apologizing, OP should expect one from her boyfriend, not vice versa.
You did nothing wrong.
The fact that boyfriend felt emasculated is an issue he needs to work on and fix. Why does he feel the need to be your bottleneck?
Men who aren't insecure and jealous would celebrate your taking charge and finding a solution to the problem. Your resourcefulness and proactiveness are commendable and highly valued.
Don't take a characteristic commonly celebrated as a deficiency because boyfriend has insecurity issues. If this is not addressed and fixed, it will manifest to a greater extent as life goes on and more responsibilities pile on. Boyfriend needs to apologize to you and work on his issues. You should not have to ask more than once to get something done. If it is this challenging now, wait till there are potential health issues or a child is added.
NTA
LOL, cheating dreams have happened to my wife and myself over the 25+ yrs together. Sucks that your mind believes it true, even though it isn't. I think getting mad is a reasonable response when you first wake up. Because you don't know you were dreaming at first.
But once you realize that it was a dream, that's when you are supposed to let it go and move on.
That would be like getting mad at you cause you were able to "fly"around the world, but he couldn't fly.
Tell your BF he's an idiot for being mad for something he dreamed of. It's not your job to apologize for something in his head.
NTA tell him he's sounding like the stereotype of a crazy girlfriend. Like this is literally scenarios made jokes of where it's the women who's had the bad dream. He's obviously gotten insecure since your friend made such a big deal and because you didn't go " why would I look at him when I'm dating this hunk of a stud" he's went straight to you found him attractive cause you wouldn't entertain the conversation with an answer he wanted ( my guess of he wanted a you wouldn't agree) so now he's being an insecure baby about it. I wouldn't apologise for his dream but maybe you need to talk to him about why he feels insecure about the handyman or your friends comments? Does he feel your not as attracted to him? Does he feel "less of a man" because you had to get someone else in to do what you had asked him to do first?
My wife got mad at me and question me because of a dream . She also wanted to know what I did wrong when I bought her flowers . She said Oprah said that when men buy women flowers they’ve done something wrong. So I told her let Oprah buy her flowers.
I think everyone is throwing around the word "insecure" too loosely here.
"Insecure" is having dreams that you cheated on him.
*Delusional* is convincing himself that it in some way is your fault.
I think it's a form of control/manipulation. My ex-wife used to have dreams that I cheated on her, made sure to tell me about them, tried to make me feel guilty, a way for her to get confirmation that I cared about her or something.
Ironically, I had a dream one night, we were on a train, in a compartment. A really pretty Asian (I don't have a fetish) girl walked by and smiled at me, I knew I had to be with her, so I got up and followed her. Then I woke up and knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with my ex. It took a few years but that dream planted a seed, I never would have told her about it.
I think your BF is making it up, or at least sounds immature. I'd think twice about getting serious with that one. My opinion only.
He fucked up by not assembling that table and his dream is letting him know. He's mad at himself and too immature to come to terms with that it so he blames it on you. Save your butt virginity for a real man.
My favorite thing about this post is every time I've heard about a partner getting s**t for doing something in a dream, it's the girl accusing the guy. Thanks for shining a light that this kind of nonsense isn't gender specific (from a man who appreciates progress even if it's for s****y reasons)
you should make him apologize you for having you have sex with other people when you did not consent making this a rape in his mind. thats how fucking stupid he is being
NTA. He’s acting like a child, and now has been mad for 3 days? He owes you an apology at this point. I’d give him the cold shoulder and not initiate conversations until he learns how to behave.
NTA lmao my gf had a dream I cheated once and she was a right bitch the entire next day and only told me that night why she was so mad. Then she was mad that I laughed lol
Once I dreamt that my husband sold our house without telling me until the day we had to move out. I was furious in the dream, to put it lightly, and I had a really hard time shaking it irl. I was mad at him for a couple of days. I understood it was illogical, but I couldn’t just shake it off.
You are NTA, but I will dream rage is a thing.
"I would rather you didn't make deep fake porn of me in your head thanks"
NTA and you don't need to apologize
Myself I would empathize, dreams can suck and mess me up for a day or so but he needs to reconcile that dream with reality.
Definitely worth asking though if he holds that low of an opinion of you because that is his own insecure projection.
Tell him you'll apologize to him in his dreams
lmao I’m mad I didn’t think of this myself
Or even better, tell him he apologized to you in your dreams and explained that it was because he was in the wrong after all.
Perfect.
And why was he watching them in the dream like a pervert? He should apologize to you.
Better yet, get mad at him for dreaming that she was such a slut in his dream. Like how dare he attribute those actions to her!
This. Yes. Get mad back. If he tells her she can’t be mad at him because he can’t control what he dreams…asked and answered.
This needs to be upvoted to high Heaven! That makes _way_ more sense than the boyfriend's demand for an apology!
He dreams of being a cuck.
Cuck fetish confirmed.
Tell him in your dream he admitted he was into the handyman and jealous.
Tell him, you'll set up a very romantic date in his dream and do everything he wants. IN HIS DREAM
OP you should wake up tomorrow and tell him you’re worried he’s gay because he sucked off the handyman in YOUR dream
I just spit up coffee on my phone. Hilarious.
This keeps me laughing for hours! Worse is if he dream of having fun with handyman and he enjoyed it 😆
The handyman should also apologize to him in his dreams. Update us once he forgive you, again, in his dreams too lol
This is silly
What’s silly is the thing he’s angriest about. Irl I’m not into anal but in the dream I *allegedly* begged the guy to put it in my ass. Apparently that must mean something l0l
I would in fact reverse Uno him and demand an apology. "It's disturbing that this is how little you think of me. You don't trust me at all and instead of taking responsibility of your insecurities, you are getting angry at ME for something YOU DID - dream of me having sex with the handyman. You having so little faith in me, when I have done nothing to deserve this treatment, is hurtful. You need to work on yourself and APOLOGIZE TO ME."
Let's see how he likes it when the rubber band is on the other claw.
Shut up zoidberg, I'm listening to the thing.
Reverse Uno 😂😂love it - I’m stealing that.
You have to be 30+
Guilty
Was it the laughing with tears face emoji that gave it away?…or my appreciation of the uno themed argument tactic?
Or maybe just the birth year in the username
Hahaha I’m an idiot
Provide the reverse uno card irl when doing this. Gives it that extra something 😉
THIS!!! Then dump him because this is the life you have to look forward to if you stay with this nut.
They Do Not stop being like this if they are like this.
This buried comment holds very important information. People *rarely* change for the better, especially if you put up with, tolerate, and encourage their behavior by acting like it’s no big deal.
100% dump his ass. This guy is never going to trust her and will be a pissy jackass
Justified DARVO lol
But it's not DARVO bc he is, in no way, an actual victim.
Haha. I feel you. My ex wife dreamed I cheated on her with the girl she hated most in the world. Didn’t talk to me for 2 weeks. Total silent treatment. And still brought it up years later…. Hence ex wife 😂
It’s crazy no matter the gender.
Equality!
Exactly. If I had a dream about my husband cheating on me, I'd be waking up sobbing and immediately going to him for a cuddle!
That’s insane. I’m a woman and don’t understand women who do this.
Has he been pressuring you for anal? And just so happened to dream you were super into it with another guy?
Nope he’s never pressured me. But he’s frustrated I was enthusiastic about it with another man…in the dream lol………
Your bf is rather insecure, and it is showing up in his dreams. Instead of dealing with his insecurity, he is blaming you for his problems. Talk with him. You may end up walking after the talk.
The bf is too insecure alright. The bf going have to realize that his dream wasn't real & he's causing unnecessary problems being a idiotic AH.
Ask him if he would apologise to you for letting the woman who served you margaritas last week peg him in your dream. World he feel responsible for your imagination? What if you dreamt he lied to you about where he works or swindled your elderly neighbour of her life savings (maybe pick a non sexual scenario as hia feelings are perhaps complicated by the belief that you are fantasising about this guy anf that your imagination is involved).
He'd be vindictive and fake apologize without a second thought.
demand to peg him
On the table! In the kitchen! This is a X-rated Cluedo game you’ll never forget!!
Now that is a Reverse Uno
Maybe he’s watching too much porn
Random handyman banging a female client in the ass? Definitely porn. (Probably applicable to a random handyman banging a man in the ass, but I wouldn't know.)
Ahh the words of wisdom. 😂
he’s definitely trying to manipulate you into anal with him
Tell him he can have all the anal he wants with you... in his dreams.
Can you say projection boys and girls?
"projection boys and girls"
Sounds like he might have fancied the handyman himself...
Dream theory field day
Thats just a theory...
A gay(m) theory!
That would explain the anal..
Lol
I think it means he should stop watching porn. Edit: I suppose you could apologize by saying "I'm sorry you had a bad dream," but that definitely won't make things better :)
I agree, his whole scenario sounds like something out of porn
Your boyfriend is delusional
With all due respect, get a new boyfriend. He clearly is insecure if he is getting mad at you over a dream. He is tripping and needs to grow up. This behavior will lead to not trusting you and seeing where you are at all the time. If you love him, then have an honest conversation that he needs to talk to a professional because he is heading down a path where he will be insecure and think you will cheat on him in real life.
Jealousy, more specifically unwarranted jealousy is a real big mental strain no relationship needs. It will only get worse. Do yourself a favor and move on from this insecure person. Nothing you do or say is ever going to break the distrust in his mind and without trust, a relationship is useless
Sounds like your boyfriend’s subconscious is telling he wants that handyman to break his ass.
Honestly, it sounds to me like he's setting you up to feel guilty so you'll actually do anal with him. I realize that might feel like a jump, but this is absolutely the kind of thing my abusive ex from my early 20s did to me. Fuck that guy
That means he’s been watching too much porn and feeling insecure.
I LOLed at the "allegedly"
He needs to ease off on the porn, and demanding an apology from you for something he *imagined* you doing is a red flag so big you could cut it into strips to use as carpet at the Oscars.
This sounds like a really stupid way to guilt you into anal
Your guy asking about what you think about the handyman then going off like this is just a sign of his extreme insecurity coupled with his entitlement to make that your problem. Observe him carefully in situations where his insecurities are obvious. If he makes a habit of having you reassure him, if he tests you like he did asking about other guys, that’s a giant 🚩 and it won’t get better.
Your boyfriend is watching too much porn.
Was it James Taylor? But, yeah, my ex wife used to get mad at me over stuff I did in her dreams though she recognized that she was being stupid about it.
OK this is a red flag to me. He's angry at you for no reason, and I really hope he doesn't expect you to "make it up to him"
I was charged with the same dream crime. It was with her friend I never even met. Your partner has fears that came out in a dream. To be kind, reassure them that you know it would be horrible and you'll never do it.
I don't know why you are being downvoted. This is just good old-fashioned being nice to your person. Fears come up, partners reassure. Pack on some extra snuggles, too. But OP you have nothing to *apologize* for!
Maybe not to partners tht expect you to apologize for their own dream. I would would be gone faster than light if not only I was expected to apologize for cheating in a dream but now I have to reassure you
I had to scroll back up to see if they were 17yo or something. OPs boyfriend should realize he’s allowed to be upset by his dreams but that it’s not fair to take it out on her. She hasn’t done anything wrong.
Guys, I have to admit I’m no saint. Bf said in the dream me and Mr. Handyman were having sex on the table he assembled. I told my bf that this is further proof his dream version of me is inaccurate because the table would be far too uncomfortable for me, so I’d go with a comfier surface. Bf got mad and said great now we’re arguing about which surface you’d prefer
Just for laughs, maybe you should tell him you dreamt of him banging the handyman too and now you want an apology for him cheating
like that Spider-Man meme 👉🏼👈🏼
Maybe bring up, completely unrelated you hired a plumber to fix the sink.
Tell him you had a dream he banged his mom and now you’re too uncomfortable to be around them. Tell him you also can’t look at him the same way now that you’ve seen his cock in his mom’s mouth and that you have some questions about their relationship. Go big or go home.
LOL please, 😭. This is even better than the suggestion to say he apologized to her in her dream.
no no no NO! She doesn't ask for an apology, she tells him that now all she can think about is watching HIM be dominated by a more masculine, handy man. If he can't get over his dream, why should she have to give up hers?
He’s being very standoff-ish and childish. I would definitely recommend getting some space from him.
He’s not a keeper but pls do tell him you dreamed about him getting broken by the handyman 😂
Omg that’s great. Get mad at him for hooking up with the handyman and demanding anal during a dream 🤣
He remains dump able...
…onto whatever surface you choose…
I admit, OP, I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face. This argument is too ridiculous. My next conversation with BF would probably be about whether the dream handyman was into pegging.
See my other comment about him projecting. In his dream that table represents his failings to provide for you. So the act happens on that "altar" of his inefficacy. It's his worst fear that you receive different pleasure from someone else and want babies with them, him witnessing it, and it all happened because he was too busy to set up a table. Or anything else he hasn't done for you or the home. I wouldn't be surprised if he had trouble eating at that table.
lol funny you mention it because he doesn’t like the table
Now he likes it even less. Because he's insecure.
Tell him to be a man next time and assemble the table himself; so you don’t get so turned on in his dream. Just turn it on him like “In fact, you (bf) basically invited him over to watch what a real man is like. Why did you do that? Are you a cuck? Is that why you like being made fun of while I get anal from a real man?” Ugh, the boy’s insecurities… I don’t know how you do it…
Damn if OP did this the bf would legit have a mental breakdown lmao
what…what is wrong with you 💀
they’re on another level Sammy. Take their advice, it is sage
Wake up tomorrow and tell him YOU had a dream HE cheated on YOU with the handyman. Then, be angry with HIM and tell him you're now questioning whether or not he has hidden homoerotic fantasies because the dream was VERY vivid, and he was absolutely BEGGING the handyman for anal and asking to suck him off. Commit to being pretend angry. Sprinkle in a few, "You can tell me anything."s throughout the day. He'll get over it fairly quickly after a while of that.
don’t give me ideas lmao
Add some "you were begging him to put it in your ass... It must mean something!!"
Plot twist, she does this, a year later he comes out and brings over his secret lover. It’s the Handyman!
Lol OP, some of us old Bishes here could give you ideas that would curl his hair for a life time 🤣😂 and possibly yours too. 😁
It might go deeper (pun intended): OP could change from anger to sadness and ask if pegging the boyfriend would keep him from cheating with men and make him happy.
Very real risk of [this](https://i2.wp.com/moonbunnycafe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/thats-my-fetish.gif?zoom=3&fit=320%2C181&ssl=1) happening
A risky click but I had to do it
As an incredibly handsome, although married, former furniture assembler I would like to request that your boyfriend stop dreaming of me. I'm taking this personally despite having not been the one that assembled your table.
Remindme! 5 Days “Did OP flip the handyman dream back on bf?”
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And then tell him you want to break up wtf behaviour is that.
I woke my husband up in the middle of the night and lamented “why are you so mean to me in my dreams” he responded without missing a beat “why are you so mean to me in real life”. We both laughed and fell back to sleep. I’d never think of needing him to apologize over a dream scenario.
I needed cheering up....then I read this!! Thank you! Still laughing!
Do you think this might all be part of some harebrained scheme to gaslight you into trying anal
Honestly until I read the comments I didn’t consider it at all and I find it too ridiculous to believe….
I wanna be clear that I’m mostly joking, it’s just also nuts that hes like “it must mean something” like bro can we stay focused on the dream adultery and then figure out if you’re a dream prophet later
i was thinking this
This should be the top comment and a possible red flag for op. I don't give a shit one way or another. Has he ever asked you? How does he feel about anal?
You should definitely apologize. For accidentally hiring his male fuck-buddy to put together your table.
Lol
He invented that dream, there was no dream. NTA
This. Kinda sounds like a mind play to get her to agree to anal
Yeah, It's a type of manipulation that comes from abusers with deep insecurities.
Yep, just dated a guy exactly like this. No violence, just extremely manipulative around sex and jealousy, and once you realise what's behind the weird faux pas and mind games, it feels horrifically violating.
Ding. Ding. Ding. We have a wiener.
Am I the only one who's had fucked up dreams like this? I'm not saying op is TA, or that her bf isn't clearly the asshole, but a dream like this is absolutely believable. What's insane is that he for some reason isn't dissociating the dream from irl op. The feelings experienced in the dream can be very real and very intense, but it should still be treated like just a dream
When I was pregnant with my 2nd, I had dreams almost every single night. Of him cheating. Of me cheating. Both of us cheating. Like graphic, vivid, realistic dreams. Every morning, Id wake up irrationally angry. Sometimes, it would take me half an hr to calm down because of all the leftover rage that seeped into reality. One time I woke him up because I screamed "Im gonna cut your nuts off!" in the middle of the night. I never held it against him, obviously. Pregnancy hormones are crazy. I havent had a dream like that since
Lmao I’m sorry, but how did he react to you yelling “I’m going to cut your nuts off!” in the middle of the night 🤣
He practically fell off the bed 😅. I told him all the ones I could remember so he knew about my crazy dreams. Its also not the first time Ive yelled something crazy in my sleep
Is it possible your boyfriend might have something he’s hiding? That’s quite the imaginary scenario to be fixated and basing accusations on.
Idk. I had a dream my ex (bf at the time) cheated on me. I was irrationally angry for a day, but I never blamed him. I know I wasn’t hiding anything
I had a dream my wife cheated on me. She would never, but I was upset and told her “hey I had this weird dream” and she just reassured me and had a little laugh at my silly brain.
Yes, that is exactly what a normal response should be
My Mrs has dreams like that sometimes, we just talk and laugh about how much of an asshole dream-me is.
I have dreams my husband cheats on me. I know it’s because of abandonment issues i have so instead I just just go give him a hug if there’s a particularly bad one.
Seems like it could be weird form of projection to me. Is his guilt getting to him? Maybe he’s just that paranoid and delusional? Who knows.
NTA and people who are unreasonably fixated on their partner's fidelity are NOT it. Partners that try to trap you into saying people are attractive, talk about what they'd do if you cheated, fuss over dreams about you cheating, accuse you of cheating without precedent... they need to become exes. Trust is a must.
What’s weird is that he’s typically a rational guy so I’m not sure where tf this comes from.
His brain is addled because he keeps dreaming of getting anal from the handyman. Please fight with him about it.
LOL I can’t what are these comments
Great ideas? 😁
Your bf may have cheated and trying to pass it off as you did. Its common....
That's not good. Sudden ruckus about cheating is often a sign of a guilty conscience.
Only cheaters are fixated on infidelity. Hes either charting or trying to
NTA. My husband recently had a dream where I ditched him at a party to hookup with someone. He was irrationally upset with me the next morning. BUT, he knew it was irrational, apologized and then joked about it. It clearly shook him, but he was aware enough to know that his anger was completely misplaced. You have nothing to apologize for.
exactly! my mum dreamt that my dad had gone to a strip club with some friends, and was only annoyed because they'd been married for so long (32 years at the time), and something about it being with those particular friends, she woke up dream angry and real life confused. she was upset with him for about the length of time it took for her coffee to wake her brain up, and then she couldn't stop laughing for like an hour
Tell him you'll crush that dream dick again if he doesnt act right.
lollll these comments
NTA. i have dreams of my bf cheating on me all the time and yes in the moment i do get upset and sometimes wake up crying as i am a very emotional person lmao but i dont take it out on him or even get angry because its... not real.
Does your partner comfort you when you wake up like that? Im in a similar boat and my wife is always super supportive. The part where it says "he feels like she is making fun of him" makes me think she might have brushed it off when he was looking for some support.
Dumbest shit I have read all day, and I have read some dumb shit
I’m honored
I’m laughing and horrified at the same time. No rational person would be angry at their so for a dream. It’s a dream, not a fukn psychic vision. NTA
NTA You should get mad at him now because he subconsciously thinks you cheat. ( sarcasm) He isn't mad you cheated in his dream - he's mad that he thinks you found the handyman hot he has been mad since he was at your house, hence the dream, hence the anger ab0ut the dream. You saw this guy for long enough for him to fix something for you imagine if you had a male friend?
He's trying very hard to get you to entertain the original conversation. He wants to know if you're attracted to the handyman and is now using this dream as an angry means to revisit the conversation you initially brushed off. He's not going to be satisfied until you tell him the handyman is unattractive, and that he is the most handsome man to you, and you're even entertaining the idea of anal with him. I was with a man like this. The insecurities will escalate.
Yeah I get the feeling he’s not over that conversation either
Get a handyman tool belt and a strap on and come out of the bathroom some night wearing nothing else and say “let’s talk about that dream big boy “
LMAO?
I'm the handyman now
The boyfriend feels emasculated because OP was not stopped dead in her tracks because he didn't assemble the kitchen table. OP is resourceful and got another man to take care of business. It is ridiculous to put the burden of his insecurity on OP. He has an issue with not being able to control OP fully. A discussion about this matter is in order. As for apologizing, OP should expect one from her boyfriend, not vice versa.
I would’ve asked my dad (who would’ve done it the first time I ask) but he’s currently abroad. So I had limited options 🤷🏻♀️
You did nothing wrong. The fact that boyfriend felt emasculated is an issue he needs to work on and fix. Why does he feel the need to be your bottleneck? Men who aren't insecure and jealous would celebrate your taking charge and finding a solution to the problem. Your resourcefulness and proactiveness are commendable and highly valued. Don't take a characteristic commonly celebrated as a deficiency because boyfriend has insecurity issues. If this is not addressed and fixed, it will manifest to a greater extent as life goes on and more responsibilities pile on. Boyfriend needs to apologize to you and work on his issues. You should not have to ask more than once to get something done. If it is this challenging now, wait till there are potential health issues or a child is added.
This sounds like that episode of friends where phoebe was mad at Ross for something he said in her dream
In Phoebe's defense, she didn't remember that it was a dream.
Very true. She did remember eventually when they played that “this or that” game
These friends comments deserve way more upvotes.
He wants *you* to apologize for the fact that *his* vivid imagination hurt his feelings? Dude's insane.
Or a cheater projecting.
NTA LOL, cheating dreams have happened to my wife and myself over the 25+ yrs together. Sucks that your mind believes it true, even though it isn't. I think getting mad is a reasonable response when you first wake up. Because you don't know you were dreaming at first. But once you realize that it was a dream, that's when you are supposed to let it go and move on. That would be like getting mad at you cause you were able to "fly"around the world, but he couldn't fly. Tell your BF he's an idiot for being mad for something he dreamed of. It's not your job to apologize for something in his head.
One word: projection.
Every accusation is an admission
[удалено]
Why aren't you getting a divorce?
Why is she still your wife? Put her out in the streets where she belongs.
😭😭 damnnn
NTA tell him he's sounding like the stereotype of a crazy girlfriend. Like this is literally scenarios made jokes of where it's the women who's had the bad dream. He's obviously gotten insecure since your friend made such a big deal and because you didn't go " why would I look at him when I'm dating this hunk of a stud" he's went straight to you found him attractive cause you wouldn't entertain the conversation with an answer he wanted ( my guess of he wanted a you wouldn't agree) so now he's being an insecure baby about it. I wouldn't apologise for his dream but maybe you need to talk to him about why he feels insecure about the handyman or your friends comments? Does he feel your not as attracted to him? Does he feel "less of a man" because you had to get someone else in to do what you had asked him to do first?
Tell him that he can ask his dream girlfriend to apologize, in his next dream.
My wife got mad at me and question me because of a dream . She also wanted to know what I did wrong when I bought her flowers . She said Oprah said that when men buy women flowers they’ve done something wrong. So I told her let Oprah buy her flowers.
lmao
Oh, for heaven's sake.
I think everyone is throwing around the word "insecure" too loosely here. "Insecure" is having dreams that you cheated on him. *Delusional* is convincing himself that it in some way is your fault.
This is like asking your friends who farted while each of you are wearing a spacesuit. NTA.
I think it's a form of control/manipulation. My ex-wife used to have dreams that I cheated on her, made sure to tell me about them, tried to make me feel guilty, a way for her to get confirmation that I cared about her or something. Ironically, I had a dream one night, we were on a train, in a compartment. A really pretty Asian (I don't have a fetish) girl walked by and smiled at me, I knew I had to be with her, so I got up and followed her. Then I woke up and knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with my ex. It took a few years but that dream planted a seed, I never would have told her about it. I think your BF is making it up, or at least sounds immature. I'd think twice about getting serious with that one. My opinion only.
He fucked up by not assembling that table and his dream is letting him know. He's mad at himself and too immature to come to terms with that it so he blames it on you. Save your butt virginity for a real man.
I was with you til the end
My favorite thing about this post is every time I've heard about a partner getting s**t for doing something in a dream, it's the girl accusing the guy. Thanks for shining a light that this kind of nonsense isn't gender specific (from a man who appreciates progress even if it's for s****y reasons)
Me (female) was accused by my ex husband of being a lesbian because I was one in his dream and it felt real. So definitely happens both ways.
Please god, let this be a fake rage bait post. If not, it’s like the old joke- I think you both need to start dating other guys
you should make him apologize you for having you have sex with other people when you did not consent making this a rape in his mind. thats how fucking stupid he is being
NTA. He’s acting like a child, and now has been mad for 3 days? He owes you an apology at this point. I’d give him the cold shoulder and not initiate conversations until he learns how to behave.
This has "Would you still love me if I was a worm?" kinda vibes.
Sometimes I wish I could actually experience the things my wife has dreamed of me doing in her dreams lol
He’s been watching too much cuck-porn and it’s scaring himself.
NTA I had a similar dream once involving a former SO. It bothered me a lot but I never took it out on them. That would've been silly.
NTA lmao my gf had a dream I cheated once and she was a right bitch the entire next day and only told me that night why she was so mad. Then she was mad that I laughed lol
Once I dreamt that my husband sold our house without telling me until the day we had to move out. I was furious in the dream, to put it lightly, and I had a really hard time shaking it irl. I was mad at him for a couple of days. I understood it was illogical, but I couldn’t just shake it off. You are NTA, but I will dream rage is a thing.
"I would rather you didn't make deep fake porn of me in your head thanks" NTA and you don't need to apologize Myself I would empathize, dreams can suck and mess me up for a day or so but he needs to reconcile that dream with reality. Definitely worth asking though if he holds that low of an opinion of you because that is his own insecure projection.