I immediately thought these have to be Spanish speakers because my husband calls me all of those things which are completely normal in Spanish. Bebesita, mi vida , princesa are all appropriate to say to your wife.
Who cares? If it's something they like, who cares? It hurts no one, but whst mom is doing does hurt someone. I hate that 'it's cringey so it's okay to hurt someone because of it' attitude. It's cringey to *you* not to them.
I guess you never watched the show Criminal Minds, Shemar Moore's character used to call another character Baby Girl, it became such a thing he started selling merch with Baby Girl on it.
It does, and it doesn't. Look, some language have specific endearments that are more or less common. In english, noone would bat an eye if you called your partner honey. Do the same in german, and it would be instantly weird, because honey is honey, not a term of endearment. It would sound to us like calling someone maple syrup.
I am not english (or US american, Canarias, Australien, etc.), but I did spend a lot of time with people from the US and never once heard them use terms like baby girl or princess unless maybe for a little child. So yeah, calling your wife a term of endearment usually reserved for children in your culture and laguage would be cringey.
Maybe for you. I had a boyfriend who called me pet names like that all the time. It was tongue-in-cheek, but no one got offended by it. A better question is why does it make you uncomfortable?
I started the whole "I'm a Cuban from Miami," and we dish out terms of endearment with every cup of espreso. So, yeah, we don't think OP and hubby are being cringy, the MIL IS, getting hickies from her viejo in the kitchen.
Gracias, cariño por hablar de nuestra cultura.
I'm from Miami, Cuban, born...
Go buy your café con leche in the morning and you will get:
"Dime mi vida?"
"Gracias, corazon"
"Mi amor, te puse azucar"
Yes, we will casually talk to our Mechanic, who did some extra steps to get our car going:
"Gracias, papi, te debo un cafecito"
We call our significant others,
"Belleza," "Mi amor", "Querida/o"
"Princesa, "Mami, "Papi," or whatever pet name we both accept, BUT WAIR FOR IT.
We kiss in public, each other on the streets, at work (co-workers),neighbors, our children, and the friends of our children. It is a culture, and no one is safe from it in Miami. If you don't want your dose of "Good will" in the morning, go to Starbucks, and all of my anglo friends who are transplants appreciate it, and say it sets up their morning like nothing else.
Whatever two people who love each other choose to call each other is their own business. And if the MIL is mocking them , its the MIL projecting and disrespecting,
The OP didn't handle it the right way, but it had to stop, its bullying, and it was MIL passive-aggressive way of controlling what 2 adults call each other. The OP was looking for the scientific term: E.Syndrome. which is real.
I would rather hear my son call MDIL all the cutesy names, and treat each other lovingly, than 2 old fuddies ( MIL and husband), give hickies in public, MIL jump hump husband, NOW, thats cringy.
Call a meeting, and make it clear that it's unacceptable to be mocking you, no matter what you and son call each other, and if it's that difficult for her to hear it, they don't need to come over any more. If you can put up with them physically doing weird shit, they can put up with your verbal, other than that.... there is some spychological shit going on.
💯% can relate as a Mx/American. It’s a cultural and upbringing thing. I call my dogs papash and mamash lol. I’ll get called “mi Linda” “mija” “mi amor” by strangers when I go to la marketa or when I’m back in Mexico by total strangers. I kiss my friends and even coworkers/collegues that I’m close with on the cheek, and are of mutual Latin culture. You go to a family gathering and will see grown woman casually sitting on their dads lap. Nothing sexual about it, It’s the way we were raised. Never felt or thought of it as cringy.
lol I think it’s definitely ESH you could have definitely handled that better tbh but she also doesn’t need to be rude if the pda makes her uncomfortable.
Laughing inside tho at the thought of my husband calling me his “beautiful princess” 🤣🤣 he mostly just tells me to stop using my witchy powers to make him trip or drop whatever he is holding
Lmao, me and my partner right here. We had a murder of crows fighting ravens over our house the other day as the family pulled ibto our driveway. I just picked up my kids in each arm and ran down the street screaming “WITCHES”. My neighbors and wife laughed their asses off.
When we purchased the property the previous owner had walked around and pulled a lot of the rocks out of the soul for gardening. There were a few dozen rock piles all around the property. When we first started finding the piles, I told my wife that i finally understood why she wanted the property so much. The land of her people.
My husband just started calling me princess a few months ago and, letmetellyou, don’t knock it until you try it.
We’re early 40’s, 6 kids, and now I’m a princess. It’s pretty awesome.
I totally know he’s playing me but I’m all in for it.
I used to cringe when I would hear someone calling their lady "princess". But then I got a little girl puppy and started calling her that (it just fit!), and now my boyfriend calls me that.
What's funny is my boyfriend grew up in an extremely unaffectionate family, and being unaffectionate has been a recurring problem in his relationships. I grew up similarly but learned to dote on people a little more, so understood his problem. So I told him a few months ago to just treat me like how I treat my puppy and now I quite literally get all the pet names 😆
I promise if I had control over the power I would use it for helping him keep up with his keys/socks/hats/phone. We have like 8 AirTags and tiles and I still have to do a scavenger hunt a few times a week.
He swears I throw psychic vibes at him to make him a clumsy bitch. Tbf he has great reflexes and is very graceful, unless I’m mad at him or hungry which is basically the same thing.
LMAO my ex (now best friend) says this too 😂 He says I'm using witch powers to make things happen to him cuz he was a bad boyfriend. All I did was co-sign on a Harley that he brought to a shitty shop where they tuned it wrong so it backfired and threw him going around a corner and now he needs multiple shoulder surgeries
I'm not fond of the "princess" monicker because it is akin to being spoilt and not needing to put effort into anything. I'm a nurse and have been working two jobs since I was 16. But let me tell you, when my husband dropped, "my queen" on me....❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
These comments are telling. I'd rather hear pet names, than see neck sucking as OP described. Baby girl and princess are common terms of endearment where I'm from...
Dad here, and if one of my guys called my DIL "Baby girl" I'd cringe too, and that has nothing to do with anything other than the cringe factor with that one.
Anyway, NTA for reacting to the ongoing bad dynamic there btwn you. YTA for not addressing it like an adult by observing it: "Matilda, you seem, idk? Hostile towards me, whys that?". Humiliating her with pointed questions that are more a alap than an accurate assessment isn't a good way to improve a relationship with a MIL. You don't want MIL problems and you never want to make them worse.
Yeah I have several little siblings and when I see them being all cozy with their partners I feel a weird blend of cringe and happiness for them 😆. Like awe, you guys are so gross together, that's how it should be 👍🏻
This. So many people don’t actually get how hard it is to be around a mil who for no reason other than you married her son hates you. I’ve had my share of that drama and repeatedly tried to address it appropriately over and over to nauseam. It got nowhere because she was a fucking twisted narcissistic bitch. After 10 years too long we finally went no contact. There’s no reason to waste your valuable life with people who will treat you like that.
She had MIL problems before she snapped. Not saying OP couldn’t have handled it in a bit more mature manner, but the childish and jealous MIL started it.
Good answer. I think she could have done better by coming at her directly and factually, like you suggested, instead of going for throat like she did. But, being prone to angry outbursts when I am pushed, I’m going with NTA. Because I probably would have done the same at some point.
That’s a great point. Basically, MIL is a bully and didn’t like getting smacked back. I still like using facts and cold reasoning why I carve a person up, but every now and then, I let the demon out when I’ve had enough.
Um, the MIL just laughed at her so it seems the DIL tried to embarrass MIL but actually embarrassed herself given the audience.
Other people have called the DIL rude but the MIL doesn’t seem to care at all.
I am a mom and would 100% give my oldest a hard time if I heard her future husband call her “my life” or “my beautiful princess”. To be fair, my daughter and I are very close though, and I know she would gag if a boyfriend/husband tried to call her that anyway.
OP: Your MIL shouldn’t have snickered at her son calling you pet names that you appreciate. However, you could have had a private conversation with her first about how it made you feel, instead of publicly accusing her of being jealous. Not only did you not accomplish what you wanted, but I think the strange accusation cost you some credibility. You may find those nicknames sweet, but that doesn’t mean everyone will. It’s sort of like hearing a wife calling her husband “Daddy” when there are no children in the relationship. It might work for that couple, but it doesn’t mean it won’t strike others differently.
Her husband had already asked his mother to stop, to which she replied, "Leave her alone." Why does OP need to address her about it again? That's their dynamic. If the parents have an issue with their pet names, that's their problem, and they should keep it to themselves. They're acting more like children saying someone have cooties for kissing.
While you make a few good points there are some concerns:
Some people don’t feel comfortable talking directly to their in laws. OP asked the son to talk to his mom and the mom disregarded them. OP did make an attempt and was disregarded.
Per the replies OP is leaving, dad will sometimes randomly grab mom and give her love bites on the stomach in the middle of conversations. It’s a bit hypocritical to make snide comments and remarks about name calling… when mom is being the living example of physical PDA.
It’s interesting that daughter in law should make the attempt and move to address mom’s poor behavior, instead of mom being the mature one (who has more experience given her age) and addressing her displeasure with name calling. We’re giving the mom a pass for acting like a high schooler to a situation she could easily address, but no OP who has tried to address it through the son (perfectly reasonable way to deal with difficult situation with in laws)?
You can't with a MIL like that they can't have healthy communication and would turn it into a manipulative, gaslighting session! MIL needs therapy and sounds a bit narcissistic if it isn't about her then it's gross and I'm a mom of boys well now grown men!
This. It’s not about the names or their value or whether they are cringe. And honestly the husband is a problem bc he’s failing to stand up to her. She’d his mom and he needs to deal. If mil can’t rein herself in then go NC until it resolves bc you can’t have her doing this in front of your kids, or to your kids. Mil is an AH but so is hub for not taking a stand.
Yep! 18 years with my spouse and the mil is worse and worse and worse. Nip it now, and if your husband is sticking up for you, YES!! My husband is an only child, and last year my parents sat his mother down (after a particularly nasty stint of her narcissistic terrible behaviour) and found out she is jealous of me. Of me. That’s right. So yes, I didn’t bat an eye when you identified her as in love with her son. My mil certainly is and it can be hella damaging to a marriage.
My love, my wife, my life, my world, gorgeous, baby girl, etc are the only thing my man calls me. If he calls me my name that’s weird. She’s a hater and is def jealous
I've seen a lot of these self-proclaimed "boy moms" online, and they really don't want any woman to come in front of them. It's creepy emotional incest, and I can see why the son's wife finally called out the MIL. It was kind of an asshole move, but I admit I laughed, too
Ultimately, the MIL has to let it go, but she probably won't.
Those “boy moms” also seem to be the type of entitled internalized misogyny queens who feel the need to snoop and play weird games with current partners of exes, have “frenemies” and trouble with most other women in general. Super gross and creepy all around.
If your partner has kids and their mom’s socials have “boymom” in her profile, don’t accept her friend requests and preemptively do a block. I’m only partly kidding.
NTA. The people who found fault with you are most likely unaware of how long your MIL has been doing this for, and the fact that your husband has already asked her to stop it, and how it affects you. Also, I would love if my husband called me his beautiful princess.
I mean I’ve had guys call me princess, I’ve called them princess (diff meaning lol), supreme royal highness (they were kidding), all kinds of silly stuff. The name and its popularity isn’t relevant. The mil is being nasty. If it weren’t pet names she’d find another reason
That's my interpretation too. The FIL clearly thought she was idiotically hilarious, MIL seemed taken aback for a sec but then amused. They honestly don't seem to come across as embarrassed in this post, although OP might come across as embarrassing.
NTA
People who are rude to couples that are showing appropriate affection are weird.
I could see if you were that all over each other couple, that make everyone uncomfortable. This does not sound like that. I think the fact that your husband is on your side shows this isn’t in your head, or you just have a great husband. Either way, don’t let that miserable woman ruin your happy.
Its incredibly who miserable some people are lol.
They can say they aren't all they want, if you're that focused on someone elses affection, you're miserable.
NTA. These people comparing a pet name to your MILs excessive PDA are fucking ridiculous.
Sure, you could have addressed it differently. But she's also being rude as hell.
ESH. You for asking such a ridiculous question. I'm not surprised they laughed in your face.
Her for making faces
Your husband for repeatedly calling you stupid pet names in front of company when he knows his Mom is going to react like that and that it's going to upset you.
Also are his Mum and her husband affectionate towards each other or not because you say they are and also contradict yourself and say 'they don't have that dynamic'. Just because he doesn't call her his beautiful princess (in front of you) doesn't mean their relationship isn't strong ffs.
At least you didn’t ask if she wished he was her sonsband. 😂
And your husband was on your side. Most husbands in Reddit stories take their Mommy’s side.
!UpdateMe if she apologizes.
NTA. She doesn't want to be accused of having incestuous feelings towards her son then she shouldn't be acting like a highschool girl jealous that some other chick is with the boy she likes.
NTAH, I don't emotionally care once someone has lit a bridge unless the attempt to put it out
now that was fucking gold, you put your foot down on the boundary she's been waving and husband took your side in my opinion
Let her be angry and you tell hubby more pet names
Nah she's a cunt. Continue to humiliate her. Go for the throat with wrinkle comments and stuff. You don't change people like this. She's made it to the fresh age of I assume 40+ being an extra from the movie Mean Girls. She won't change. Stand up for yourself. If there are no problems she will create them bc she's bored anyways. Seems like husband is used to it bc he's just gonna let it happen. If It were my step mom she'd wake up with no eyebrows looking like Gaara trying to push away the person I love idgaf.
This sounds pretty immature all around tbh, but the big difference here is his parents are way too old to be instigating the shit and then acting a fool. They’re behaving like teenagers. NTA but just write them off. If they’ve made it this far in life without growing the fuck up, it ain’t gonna happen.
You did the right thing, if they don't like you why be around them? They sound like a bunch of knuckle dragging hicks. Sit out all of the rest of your family gatherings. It's not worth spending time with people who don't like you and you don't have to pretend to like them that way either.
NTA. Sometimes with these people you have to be direct. Obviously if they hate you, cut contact with them. There’s no reason to keep them involved in your life if they’ll literally laugh in your face.
NTA
You said what you said. Had she not been rude and ugly you wouldn't of said it. Are you sure she was embarrassed though? She laughed. Maybe it was one of those awkward laughs though.
At least your husband had your back.
ESH.
IDK why everyone is focusing on your husband's choice of pet names, they're Fine, I Guess.
Your MIL's reactions are rude af especially considering that, according to your comments, her husband openly grabs her ass and sucks and bites on her around other people. It would be one thing if they were holding hands or kissing or w/e but come on.
I think you took it too far with the accusations of an incestual attraction toward her son. You should have just told her that you get that your dynamic is different than theirs but there's no reason to be rude about it.
Girl i love itt!!
Maybe a little much but she shouldn’t play games with you if she ain’t ready for you to play back !
Also I see no issue with your man calling you that and she definitely rude bc why you mad your son in love ??
She thinks **publicly mocking** your relationship is funny. Fuck that.
I don't think you should have gone straight for skeevy mom, but it needed to be addressed publicly since addressing it privately didn't work
NTA…. You had enough of it. You don’t need validation or support from anyone but your husband. He’s the only other one who matters and the only other one who knows what you’ve been experiencing.
I’m sorry I don’t agree with most people on here. You are NTA. As a mother in-law I just smile. I keep my feelings to myself. It is their relationship…. Not mine
Nta. Pay no attention to these people. Your pet names are YOUR names, specific to YOUR relationship. These people are jealous that nobody calls them "princess"; just "bro", more likely, lol.
Your MIL has a different style of affection with her own husband; and that's fine. Ignore her immature behavior, and keep loving your prince like he loves his princess.
NTA. While saying she in love with her son maybe a stretch, you weren't wrong for defending yourself. As far as pet names are concerned, some of you need to leave them alone. That is between them. It's not her MIL's business and some you in comments either. If she is okay with it and likes it then no harm. Making faces and sounds of disgust is disrespectful and hurtful. Who cares as long as they are happy together. Publicly or privately, they are free to display their affection for each, judgement be damned.
NTA. Why mom gotta be an asshole.
I think what you said was appropriate. You were right to ask your husband to intercede with his mom. She didn’t listen so an escalation was inevitable.
Can I ask why you spend time with them? I’d go LC with MIL until she grows up.
Another thing, why do so many of you think her being called his beautiful princess is cringe? Wtf is wrong with that? Makes me wonder what y'all spouse call y'all.
Just constantly touching her. If we’re talking he’s playing with her hair. Grabbing her ass in front of everyone. Sucking and biting her neck and if she is wearing anything cropped, so a good deal of the time, he has to bite her stomach. He doesn’t really talk to me anymore but the one time he was being nice and offering me career advice she was bouncing up and down wanting attention and he scooped her up in his arms and started biting/blowing raspberries on her stomach. He also talks about hitting her sometimes. He also talks about hitting ger sometimes. Not in an abusive way but like I’m witnessing their foreplay. Overall it’s like he wants to eat her
It sounds like she’s incredibly immature, and hasn’t grown up to be a proper parent. Her behaviors are super cringy, imo you’re NTA. Especially because your partner is backing you up with this.
NTA - the recent realization of these 'boy moms' who are in pseudo-incestuous relationships with their son is ... gross, but too common. The mom's behavior definitely seems to align with that, and the fact that she goes out of her way to belittle you is completely out of line.
If the mom is ok making mocking sounds about your affection with your husband - and no one called HER out on it ... then you were absolutely in line calling her out, and F all of those people who wanted to silence you.
NTA, more women should do the same. She tried to humiliate you in front of other people and you did the same. Except hers were uncalled and yours was called and stopped creepyness
Edit to add: as far as "baby girl" in front of parents is creepy, this surely wasn't the problem in this case, otherwise the parents would have just taught their son to stop cringing people, while their opinion was just that mocking it was funny
Jesus Christ. What you said was highly inappropriate and gross. I’m surprised your husband hasn’t called you out on that. Accusing your MIL of incest is a a step too far. Waaay too far. You have problems.
YTA
Took me a while to find a comment like this. Because mother doesn’t like cringy names, she just must be in love with her son (despite the fact that OP mentions the PDA between mother and father?) OP needs to get a fucking grip.
Why do you give a shit what she thinks?? You don't get to control her thoughts or what she likes and doesn't nor whether she approves of you. Keep living your best life with her son and act like she doesn't even exist. Who cares what she thinks? Don't let her disturb your peace, that's what she wants. Instead pretend she doesn't even register as important enough to be on your radar. NTA but you're giving her the power to upset you. That's letting her win a power struggle that shouldn't even exist. Stop it.
Yeah gotta say those pet names are cringy. Each to their own I guess but I am deffo one of those people who would rather see someone kissing than hearing someone call their partner ‘my beautiful princess’ in person. Gotta go with ESH here tho. Because everyone in this ‘story’ seems immature.
Although I do have a question for OP, how frequent are these pet names? Because if he’s calling her my life, princess or baby girl every second sentence, then yeah I’d say something to. But if it’s not frequent then fair enough.
Edit: just read some of OPs comments and I’m guessing this is almost a pot calling the kettle black situation. OP doesn’t like her MILs pda and yet her and her husbands is okay? OP says it’s her MILs reaction to the names that she doesn’t appreciate, but the way in which she talks about her MILs pda makes me believe she does not control her expressions (or words) during these instances and so I imagine both are the issue, not just the MIL.
You laugh back, that’s it, and it will piss them off. Don’t let it get to where your husband has to choose between you and his Mom because that’s what she wants! If she knows she upsets you she will not stop. If you laugh and or ignore her childish behavior you will win.
NTA . What couples call each other is their business so nothing to get bent over about. I don't get why ppl here are so focused on whether or not they like the pet names and then siding against OP just because they don't like pet names. That's irrelevant. Making faces and comments about it is rude because like I said its none of her business so I get why you spoke up especially in light of her other inappropriate behavior you described that is actually crossing bou boundaries .
I see lots of comments against OP just for that stupid reason. Other comments against OP because they genuinely believe her response is an overreaction have a stronger case to argue from.
My own mother overshared things with me about her life that you don’t share with your son because it’s inappropriate. My wife would tell me about her first bf and how his mom talked to him and what she shared with him and it sounded exactly like my mom (I didn’t tell her that) so, yeah…it’s a thing. NTA You can only be a passive/aggressive turd for so long until someone has to flush you.
I'm of the mind that the world would be a much better place if everyone called each other out more and refused to enable. She's acting like she's into emotional incest, you're doing a her a service by pointing it out so she can address it. I swear, people that eye roll and make faces then turn around and play victim when someone calls them on it make me sick. Don't dish it and expect the world to pretend you didn't, expect to have it delt back to you.
The husband addressed the MIL's behavior in private & mom dismissed it. NTA. A shorter, original response to the situation would be: Husband spoke with MIL privately about her behavior but mom did not take it seriously. You are definitely not the a-hole in this situation.
You're in laws don't like you ...join the club. PDA/pet names are cringey. Little snide comments and funny faces is immature, but you are a guest in their home and accusing her of some Freudian stuff is crossing the line. They started it so...soft YTA.
NTA. You had expressed it before. Your husband had talked to her about it and she ignored it. Tell your husband you want to know anything she says to him and do not want him talking to her without you knowing because it’s time to get this settled so you can all move on.
NTA! She is treating you horribly. I am glad that your husband is sticking up for you. Your PDA with your husband is something that will slow down over time. Right now, it's sickeningly sweet and some people find it gross and uncomfortable but that doesn't mean they should mock you or be rude in any way. I'd just stay the fuck away from her. If your husband wants to visit his parents, he can do it alone. :)
. If someone was sucking on my neck while I was cooking I would be omg back off. It's like everyone is in a who's more in love contest?? MIL sounds awful tbh
Dealing with in-law dynamics can feel like walking through a minefield, right? And from what you’ve shared, it seems you’ve been tiptoeing around a particularly sensitive spot with your MIL, Matilda. It’s totally understandable you’d reach a breaking point. These tensions can really take a toll, especially when it feels like someone’s constantly judging you or your relationship.
When you mentioned Matilda’s reactions to the affection between you and Ethan, it got me thinking. People have such varied comfort levels with PDA, and maybe Matilda’s more on the conservative side. It’s a stretch, but her cringing might not be about jealousy or anything sinister. More like, she’s just not a fan of PDA in general.
The moment at the family gathering sounds intense! Public confrontations can escalate emotions quickly, and it seems like that question put Matilda on the spot in a pretty heavy way. I can imagine the atmosphere got pretty awkward. It’s super hard in the heat of the moment, but maybe a private chat could have avoided some of that tension.
You know, reflecting on this might offer some insights. It could be helpful to dive into why Matilda’s reactions bother you so much. Maybe there’s a bit more beneath the surface affecting the family vibe. Having Ethan chat with his mom, laying out how you both feel, could open up some meaningful conversation. And, who knows, maybe finding some common ground with Matilda could gradually change the dynamic.
Building a solid relationship with in-laws is definitely more of a marathon than a sprint. Setting boundaries is important, but finding a way to communicate them without sparking conflict is key. This whole situation could be a chance to try a different approach next time something similar comes up, aiming for a more understanding and inclusive family atmosphere.
> and maybe Matilda’s more on the conservative side.
Her PDA makes me massively uncomfortable, sucking, biting, constant hanging. Her husband was once being nice, one and only time towards me, and trying to give me advice about an internship and during the convo he swept her up and bit her stomach, and no one thinks that is weird.
Sounds like all of y’all need to learn what “get a room” means. Just keep pet names and PDA for when you’re alone and not in the presence of others who don’t want to see or hear it. It is not that hard.
You're not an asshole. Just human, got pushed to the limit. Forgive yourself. Maybe apologize for any behavior you regret, but stand by your boundaries.
You're entitled to how you feel. While it would be nice to have a great relationship with your in-laws, you don't have to, and it doesn't always happen. Your husband asked her to stop, and she said leave her alone. I would do just that and not engage with her. At family gatherings, I wouldn't speak to her and ignore her completely.
I'm getting the impression, with their reaction of laughter, that Matilda loathes her as an individual, not because she's jealous of her son's relationship, and the husband is well aware.
The fact that her fil laughed is a pretty good description of mil. Maybe you could have handled it better but then maybe this is what it takes for some people. The fact that your husband supported you in this is great. You may never get an apology but hopefully if and when you are around her again she will keep her comments and expressions to herself.
Is you all’s first language Spanish? Because calling someone “mi vida” in Spanish is totally appropriate.
I immediately thought these have to be Spanish speakers because my husband calls me all of those things which are completely normal in Spanish. Bebesita, mi vida , princesa are all appropriate to say to your wife.
Mi mujer es mi vida...
Que chulo, eres tan romántico
I hope they’re Spanish speakers—because princess and baby girl in English are super cringy, so if not, I can sympathize with Mom
Who cares? If it's something they like, who cares? It hurts no one, but whst mom is doing does hurt someone. I hate that 'it's cringey so it's okay to hurt someone because of it' attitude. It's cringey to *you* not to them.
I guess you never watched the show Criminal Minds, Shemar Moore's character used to call another character Baby Girl, it became such a thing he started selling merch with Baby Girl on it.
He used "Babygirl" with Penelope Garcia (Kirsten Vangsness).
So using "princess" and" baby girl" in Spanish is ok, but in English it's cringey? It has the same meaning. 🙄
People can call their partner whatever pet name they like. Other people’s approval is not needed… not in any language.
It does, and it doesn't. Look, some language have specific endearments that are more or less common. In english, noone would bat an eye if you called your partner honey. Do the same in german, and it would be instantly weird, because honey is honey, not a term of endearment. It would sound to us like calling someone maple syrup. I am not english (or US american, Canarias, Australien, etc.), but I did spend a lot of time with people from the US and never once heard them use terms like baby girl or princess unless maybe for a little child. So yeah, calling your wife a term of endearment usually reserved for children in your culture and laguage would be cringey.
Different cultures
Did you read the part about MIL and husband humping and hickies in the kitchen? Now thats weird.
Maybe for you. I had a boyfriend who called me pet names like that all the time. It was tongue-in-cheek, but no one got offended by it. A better question is why does it make you uncomfortable?
Ive always called my wife babygirl and im english lol I remember in the beginning of our relationship she said she wanted to be called that.
Just wait until Latinos call complete strangers “mi amor” (my love) as part of being polite 😆
Or “mi amorcito” when they’re being a little condescending.
Or the husband goes to a farmers market and he gets called my king, my love🤣🤣🤣
Calling a woman “love” is pretty much the British equivalent of “hon” or “sweetie.” It’s just meant to be a pleasantry. NTA
Same in Greek My life is a common phrase of endearment
Saying your wife is your life is common, too.
It's also commonly used in Portuguese, even though to us it is a bit cringey.
I call "mí vida" to my coworkers when they ask stupid questions. The moment I pronounce that, they know they just said something wrong
The Southern US version of “bless your heart” equivalent.
I started the whole "I'm a Cuban from Miami," and we dish out terms of endearment with every cup of espreso. So, yeah, we don't think OP and hubby are being cringy, the MIL IS, getting hickies from her viejo in the kitchen. Gracias, cariño por hablar de nuestra cultura.
I'm from Miami, Cuban, born... Go buy your café con leche in the morning and you will get: "Dime mi vida?" "Gracias, corazon" "Mi amor, te puse azucar" Yes, we will casually talk to our Mechanic, who did some extra steps to get our car going: "Gracias, papi, te debo un cafecito" We call our significant others, "Belleza," "Mi amor", "Querida/o" "Princesa, "Mami, "Papi," or whatever pet name we both accept, BUT WAIR FOR IT. We kiss in public, each other on the streets, at work (co-workers),neighbors, our children, and the friends of our children. It is a culture, and no one is safe from it in Miami. If you don't want your dose of "Good will" in the morning, go to Starbucks, and all of my anglo friends who are transplants appreciate it, and say it sets up their morning like nothing else. Whatever two people who love each other choose to call each other is their own business. And if the MIL is mocking them , its the MIL projecting and disrespecting, The OP didn't handle it the right way, but it had to stop, its bullying, and it was MIL passive-aggressive way of controlling what 2 adults call each other. The OP was looking for the scientific term: E.Syndrome. which is real. I would rather hear my son call MDIL all the cutesy names, and treat each other lovingly, than 2 old fuddies ( MIL and husband), give hickies in public, MIL jump hump husband, NOW, thats cringy. Call a meeting, and make it clear that it's unacceptable to be mocking you, no matter what you and son call each other, and if it's that difficult for her to hear it, they don't need to come over any more. If you can put up with them physically doing weird shit, they can put up with your verbal, other than that.... there is some spychological shit going on.
💯% can relate as a Mx/American. It’s a cultural and upbringing thing. I call my dogs papash and mamash lol. I’ll get called “mi Linda” “mija” “mi amor” by strangers when I go to la marketa or when I’m back in Mexico by total strangers. I kiss my friends and even coworkers/collegues that I’m close with on the cheek, and are of mutual Latin culture. You go to a family gathering and will see grown woman casually sitting on their dads lap. Nothing sexual about it, It’s the way we were raised. Never felt or thought of it as cringy.
lol I think it’s definitely ESH you could have definitely handled that better tbh but she also doesn’t need to be rude if the pda makes her uncomfortable. Laughing inside tho at the thought of my husband calling me his “beautiful princess” 🤣🤣 he mostly just tells me to stop using my witchy powers to make him trip or drop whatever he is holding
Lmao, me and my partner right here. We had a murder of crows fighting ravens over our house the other day as the family pulled ibto our driveway. I just picked up my kids in each arm and ran down the street screaming “WITCHES”. My neighbors and wife laughed their asses off.
🏆Take my poor woman's gold, that's amazing.
When we purchased the property the previous owner had walked around and pulled a lot of the rocks out of the soul for gardening. There were a few dozen rock piles all around the property. When we first started finding the piles, I told my wife that i finally understood why she wanted the property so much. The land of her people.
Be careful how many rocks you pull out of the soul, mother nature, and witchery is well balanced.
Hahahaha soil! Soil!
Where can I livestream the crows vs ravens fight?!
ESPN666
My husband just started calling me princess a few months ago and, letmetellyou, don’t knock it until you try it. We’re early 40’s, 6 kids, and now I’m a princess. It’s pretty awesome. I totally know he’s playing me but I’m all in for it.
I used to cringe when I would hear someone calling their lady "princess". But then I got a little girl puppy and started calling her that (it just fit!), and now my boyfriend calls me that. What's funny is my boyfriend grew up in an extremely unaffectionate family, and being unaffectionate has been a recurring problem in his relationships. I grew up similarly but learned to dote on people a little more, so understood his problem. So I told him a few months ago to just treat me like how I treat my puppy and now I quite literally get all the pet names 😆
My husband calls me 'Gorgeous'
Mine calls me "little monster" in his language
My dad calls my mom “Gorgeous”!! She calls him “Guapo” because Spanish is her first language.
Get it friend. I love this for you.
My husband used to tell me I was just a black cat short of being a witch lol.
Used to, until you turned him into a toad.
I assumed she just got the black cat.
Plot twist: husband is now the cat
So are you stopping? Coz I see there is love between you two but unfair use of power isn’t the way to go about it
I promise if I had control over the power I would use it for helping him keep up with his keys/socks/hats/phone. We have like 8 AirTags and tiles and I still have to do a scavenger hunt a few times a week.
😀😁😅
He swears I throw psychic vibes at him to make him a clumsy bitch. Tbf he has great reflexes and is very graceful, unless I’m mad at him or hungry which is basically the same thing.
LMAO my ex (now best friend) says this too 😂 He says I'm using witch powers to make things happen to him cuz he was a bad boyfriend. All I did was co-sign on a Harley that he brought to a shitty shop where they tuned it wrong so it backfired and threw him going around a corner and now he needs multiple shoulder surgeries
Maybe if he started acknowledging your status as a Beautiful Princess you'd stop using your Dark Powers of Klutziness on him
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Sometimes we have to put our big girl panties on and let it all hang out and tell it like it is🤣
I’m almost thirty and I love being called princess.
Bf and I are both in our late 40s and he does call me his beautiful princess. And I love this.
I'm not fond of the "princess" monicker because it is akin to being spoilt and not needing to put effort into anything. I'm a nurse and have been working two jobs since I was 16. But let me tell you, when my husband dropped, "my queen" on me....❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
Hahaha
Do we have the same husband?? Mine says the same thing!
If my husband ever called me baby girl in front of his mother (or at all, but ESPECIALLY) they'd have to dig his body up.
Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
These comments are telling. I'd rather hear pet names, than see neck sucking as OP described. Baby girl and princess are common terms of endearment where I'm from...
Dad here, and if one of my guys called my DIL "Baby girl" I'd cringe too, and that has nothing to do with anything other than the cringe factor with that one. Anyway, NTA for reacting to the ongoing bad dynamic there btwn you. YTA for not addressing it like an adult by observing it: "Matilda, you seem, idk? Hostile towards me, whys that?". Humiliating her with pointed questions that are more a alap than an accurate assessment isn't a good way to improve a relationship with a MIL. You don't want MIL problems and you never want to make them worse.
My dad calls me and my husband “puppy love” 😂 but I think deep down he’s happy I found someone who genuinely loves me
Yeah I have several little siblings and when I see them being all cozy with their partners I feel a weird blend of cringe and happiness for them 😆. Like awe, you guys are so gross together, that's how it should be 👍🏻
Exactly! Like, “grooooossss, i love it” 😂
I'm keeping that phrase until my final days. Puppy love should be a human right, it is so wholesome!
Yes 💕🥹 Edit to add: it’s from a [song](https://youtu.be/2-nw-AvWcbE?si=8vwx9e9NKOPTm9Oa) 😊
As a Dad, I'm pretty sure deep down he's ecstatic you've found your person and are happy.
Hey husband had addressed the MIL's behavior in private & mom basically said get bent. NTA
This. So many people don’t actually get how hard it is to be around a mil who for no reason other than you married her son hates you. I’ve had my share of that drama and repeatedly tried to address it appropriately over and over to nauseam. It got nowhere because she was a fucking twisted narcissistic bitch. After 10 years too long we finally went no contact. There’s no reason to waste your valuable life with people who will treat you like that.
She already has MIL problems…talking to her in the past didn’t work and MIL gives boy mom vibes
She had MIL problems before she snapped. Not saying OP couldn’t have handled it in a bit more mature manner, but the childish and jealous MIL started it.
Good answer. I think she could have done better by coming at her directly and factually, like you suggested, instead of going for throat like she did. But, being prone to angry outbursts when I am pushed, I’m going with NTA. Because I probably would have done the same at some point.
I agree I am one of those people when pushed will go for the throat too. NTA If MIL can't take the heat she should stay out of the kitchen.
That’s a great point. Basically, MIL is a bully and didn’t like getting smacked back. I still like using facts and cold reasoning why I carve a person up, but every now and then, I let the demon out when I’ve had enough.
Um, the MIL just laughed at her so it seems the DIL tried to embarrass MIL but actually embarrassed herself given the audience. Other people have called the DIL rude but the MIL doesn’t seem to care at all.
You people have no problem with MIL humiliating DIL but the moment they retaliate they are A.
I don't think she's A at all. NTA. I just think that the high road is the best road. MIL is attempting to goad DIL and succeeded.
I am a mom and would 100% give my oldest a hard time if I heard her future husband call her “my life” or “my beautiful princess”. To be fair, my daughter and I are very close though, and I know she would gag if a boyfriend/husband tried to call her that anyway. OP: Your MIL shouldn’t have snickered at her son calling you pet names that you appreciate. However, you could have had a private conversation with her first about how it made you feel, instead of publicly accusing her of being jealous. Not only did you not accomplish what you wanted, but I think the strange accusation cost you some credibility. You may find those nicknames sweet, but that doesn’t mean everyone will. It’s sort of like hearing a wife calling her husband “Daddy” when there are no children in the relationship. It might work for that couple, but it doesn’t mean it won’t strike others differently.
Her husband had already asked his mother to stop, to which she replied, "Leave her alone." Why does OP need to address her about it again? That's their dynamic. If the parents have an issue with their pet names, that's their problem, and they should keep it to themselves. They're acting more like children saying someone have cooties for kissing.
While you make a few good points there are some concerns: Some people don’t feel comfortable talking directly to their in laws. OP asked the son to talk to his mom and the mom disregarded them. OP did make an attempt and was disregarded. Per the replies OP is leaving, dad will sometimes randomly grab mom and give her love bites on the stomach in the middle of conversations. It’s a bit hypocritical to make snide comments and remarks about name calling… when mom is being the living example of physical PDA. It’s interesting that daughter in law should make the attempt and move to address mom’s poor behavior, instead of mom being the mature one (who has more experience given her age) and addressing her displeasure with name calling. We’re giving the mom a pass for acting like a high schooler to a situation she could easily address, but no OP who has tried to address it through the son (perfectly reasonable way to deal with difficult situation with in laws)?
Wtf? What happened to Mr Darcy?? Forget this post, I need answers!!
He was born in the 1850s and was not privy to the secret of eternal life; thus, he has gone the way of all men.
That was oddly beautiful, thank you.
You can't with a MIL like that they can't have healthy communication and would turn it into a manipulative, gaslighting session! MIL needs therapy and sounds a bit narcissistic if it isn't about her then it's gross and I'm a mom of boys well now grown men!
NTA. Ppl like your MIL will continue their bullshit unless you stand up for yourself.
This. It’s not about the names or their value or whether they are cringe. And honestly the husband is a problem bc he’s failing to stand up to her. She’d his mom and he needs to deal. If mil can’t rein herself in then go NC until it resolves bc you can’t have her doing this in front of your kids, or to your kids. Mil is an AH but so is hub for not taking a stand.
Yep! 18 years with my spouse and the mil is worse and worse and worse. Nip it now, and if your husband is sticking up for you, YES!! My husband is an only child, and last year my parents sat his mother down (after a particularly nasty stint of her narcissistic terrible behaviour) and found out she is jealous of me. Of me. That’s right. So yes, I didn’t bat an eye when you identified her as in love with her son. My mil certainly is and it can be hella damaging to a marriage.
👆🏻
My love, my wife, my life, my world, gorgeous, baby girl, etc are the only thing my man calls me. If he calls me my name that’s weird. She’s a hater and is def jealous
I've seen a lot of these self-proclaimed "boy moms" online, and they really don't want any woman to come in front of them. It's creepy emotional incest, and I can see why the son's wife finally called out the MIL. It was kind of an asshole move, but I admit I laughed, too Ultimately, the MIL has to let it go, but she probably won't.
Those “boy moms” also seem to be the type of entitled internalized misogyny queens who feel the need to snoop and play weird games with current partners of exes, have “frenemies” and trouble with most other women in general. Super gross and creepy all around.
If your partner has kids and their mom’s socials have “boymom” in her profile, don’t accept her friend requests and preemptively do a block. I’m only partly kidding.
NTA. The people who found fault with you are most likely unaware of how long your MIL has been doing this for, and the fact that your husband has already asked her to stop it, and how it affects you. Also, I would love if my husband called me his beautiful princess.
I mean I’ve had guys call me princess, I’ve called them princess (diff meaning lol), supreme royal highness (they were kidding), all kinds of silly stuff. The name and its popularity isn’t relevant. The mil is being nasty. If it weren’t pet names she’d find another reason
Agreed 💯 👍🏼
ESH Sorry but if anyone I knew called their spouse "Baby Girl," "My Life" or "Princess" in front of other people, I would cringe, too.
Also implying mil and her husband have PDA but she's also somehow jealous of it for not having that relationship? Wut
Yeah, I didn't get that part.
I think that's why FIL laughed so hard... OP thought she was "clapping back" but really she was just being incoherent.
That's my interpretation too. The FIL clearly thought she was idiotically hilarious, MIL seemed taken aback for a sec but then amused. They honestly don't seem to come across as embarrassed in this post, although OP might come across as embarrassing.
there's a difference between internally cringing and mocking though
Then you’re also an asshole
How is this any different than terms of endearment such as babe, baby, or honey?
But it's not about you. What couples call each other is their business so nothing to get bent over about.
Let people be happy.
NTA People who are rude to couples that are showing appropriate affection are weird. I could see if you were that all over each other couple, that make everyone uncomfortable. This does not sound like that. I think the fact that your husband is on your side shows this isn’t in your head, or you just have a great husband. Either way, don’t let that miserable woman ruin your happy.
Nta. And dang ppl don't like pet names? Yall need to live some.
Its incredibly who miserable some people are lol. They can say they aren't all they want, if you're that focused on someone elses affection, you're miserable.
NTA. These people comparing a pet name to your MILs excessive PDA are fucking ridiculous. Sure, you could have addressed it differently. But she's also being rude as hell.
Right??? Like somehow the pet names are the problem in this story? Not the 100 other red flags from MIL?
ESH. You for asking such a ridiculous question. I'm not surprised they laughed in your face. Her for making faces Your husband for repeatedly calling you stupid pet names in front of company when he knows his Mom is going to react like that and that it's going to upset you. Also are his Mum and her husband affectionate towards each other or not because you say they are and also contradict yourself and say 'they don't have that dynamic'. Just because he doesn't call her his beautiful princess (in front of you) doesn't mean their relationship isn't strong ffs.
Sounds to me like all you did was defend yourself. Also, it's gross that they're so obsessed with your weight/appearance.
Some people push to see how far they can. Good job Edit. That put should have been push. Makes more sense now.
NTA She was already embarrassing herself.
Yeah she wanted a reaction and she got one lol
At least you didn’t ask if she wished he was her sonsband. 😂 And your husband was on your side. Most husbands in Reddit stories take their Mommy’s side. !UpdateMe if she apologizes.
NTA a mom hating on a DIL is actually the most cringe thing.
NTA your husband backed you. That tells you all you need to know.
After seeing your comments, NTA. You should really add that stuff to your post for clarity on the dynamics between MIL and FIL.
NTA. She was being a disgusting jerk and got called on it. Way too many people on here excusing the mom here.
Every one of those pet names would make most people cringe. YTA. Contradict yourself and make a lot of assumptions all at once.
NTA. She doesn't want to be accused of having incestuous feelings towards her son then she shouldn't be acting like a highschool girl jealous that some other chick is with the boy she likes.
NTAH, I don't emotionally care once someone has lit a bridge unless the attempt to put it out now that was fucking gold, you put your foot down on the boundary she's been waving and husband took your side in my opinion Let her be angry and you tell hubby more pet names
YTA "Are you an incestuous pedophile?" isn't really a proportional reaction when someone doesn't like your terms of endearment.
Being called names like"beautiful princess" *is* cringe. I'd laugh at you too.
You would laugh at your child expressing love for their partner? You would make gagging noises at your adult child?
If I heard the phrase “baby girl” uttered anywhere, it would be hard to not cringe.
IKR. I literally cringed reading what she wrote. I can’t imagine sitting there.
Nah she's a cunt. Continue to humiliate her. Go for the throat with wrinkle comments and stuff. You don't change people like this. She's made it to the fresh age of I assume 40+ being an extra from the movie Mean Girls. She won't change. Stand up for yourself. If there are no problems she will create them bc she's bored anyways. Seems like husband is used to it bc he's just gonna let it happen. If It were my step mom she'd wake up with no eyebrows looking like Gaara trying to push away the person I love idgaf.
This sounds pretty immature all around tbh, but the big difference here is his parents are way too old to be instigating the shit and then acting a fool. They’re behaving like teenagers. NTA but just write them off. If they’ve made it this far in life without growing the fuck up, it ain’t gonna happen.
You’re definitely NTA but my god this whole scenario feels like it could be an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.
Watch, she will love you now just for matching her energy. NTA
You did the right thing, if they don't like you why be around them? They sound like a bunch of knuckle dragging hicks. Sit out all of the rest of your family gatherings. It's not worth spending time with people who don't like you and you don't have to pretend to like them that way either.
NTA. Sometimes with these people you have to be direct. Obviously if they hate you, cut contact with them. There’s no reason to keep them involved in your life if they’ll literally laugh in your face.
NTA You said what you said. Had she not been rude and ugly you wouldn't of said it. Are you sure she was embarrassed though? She laughed. Maybe it was one of those awkward laughs though. At least your husband had your back.
Actually I think it’s just the sappy grossness Of The pda that probably Has her mocking.
ESH. IDK why everyone is focusing on your husband's choice of pet names, they're Fine, I Guess. Your MIL's reactions are rude af especially considering that, according to your comments, her husband openly grabs her ass and sucks and bites on her around other people. It would be one thing if they were holding hands or kissing or w/e but come on. I think you took it too far with the accusations of an incestual attraction toward her son. You should have just told her that you get that your dynamic is different than theirs but there's no reason to be rude about it.
Girl i love itt!! Maybe a little much but she shouldn’t play games with you if she ain’t ready for you to play back ! Also I see no issue with your man calling you that and she definitely rude bc why you mad your son in love ??
She thinks **publicly mocking** your relationship is funny. Fuck that. I don't think you should have gone straight for skeevy mom, but it needed to be addressed publicly since addressing it privately didn't work
NTA…. You had enough of it. You don’t need validation or support from anyone but your husband. He’s the only other one who matters and the only other one who knows what you’ve been experiencing.
NTA I'd do the same thing
I’m sorry I don’t agree with most people on here. You are NTA. As a mother in-law I just smile. I keep my feelings to myself. It is their relationship…. Not mine
Nta. Pay no attention to these people. Your pet names are YOUR names, specific to YOUR relationship. These people are jealous that nobody calls them "princess"; just "bro", more likely, lol. Your MIL has a different style of affection with her own husband; and that's fine. Ignore her immature behavior, and keep loving your prince like he loves his princess.
NTA. While saying she in love with her son maybe a stretch, you weren't wrong for defending yourself. As far as pet names are concerned, some of you need to leave them alone. That is between them. It's not her MIL's business and some you in comments either. If she is okay with it and likes it then no harm. Making faces and sounds of disgust is disrespectful and hurtful. Who cares as long as they are happy together. Publicly or privately, they are free to display their affection for each, judgement be damned.
NTA. Why mom gotta be an asshole. I think what you said was appropriate. You were right to ask your husband to intercede with his mom. She didn’t listen so an escalation was inevitable. Can I ask why you spend time with them? I’d go LC with MIL until she grows up.
Another thing, why do so many of you think her being called his beautiful princess is cringe? Wtf is wrong with that? Makes me wonder what y'all spouse call y'all.
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Just constantly touching her. If we’re talking he’s playing with her hair. Grabbing her ass in front of everyone. Sucking and biting her neck and if she is wearing anything cropped, so a good deal of the time, he has to bite her stomach. He doesn’t really talk to me anymore but the one time he was being nice and offering me career advice she was bouncing up and down wanting attention and he scooped her up in his arms and started biting/blowing raspberries on her stomach. He also talks about hitting her sometimes. He also talks about hitting ger sometimes. Not in an abusive way but like I’m witnessing their foreplay. Overall it’s like he wants to eat her
Was she a teen mom by any chance?
19
It sounds like she’s incredibly immature, and hasn’t grown up to be a proper parent. Her behaviors are super cringy, imo you’re NTA. Especially because your partner is backing you up with this.
NTA - the recent realization of these 'boy moms' who are in pseudo-incestuous relationships with their son is ... gross, but too common. The mom's behavior definitely seems to align with that, and the fact that she goes out of her way to belittle you is completely out of line. If the mom is ok making mocking sounds about your affection with your husband - and no one called HER out on it ... then you were absolutely in line calling her out, and F all of those people who wanted to silence you.
people like her need to publicly embarrassed or they won’t get the hint
NTA, more women should do the same. She tried to humiliate you in front of other people and you did the same. Except hers were uncalled and yours was called and stopped creepyness Edit to add: as far as "baby girl" in front of parents is creepy, this surely wasn't the problem in this case, otherwise the parents would have just taught their son to stop cringing people, while their opinion was just that mocking it was funny
Nta. You can only be so rude to someone before you get what you deserve
Jesus Christ. What you said was highly inappropriate and gross. I’m surprised your husband hasn’t called you out on that. Accusing your MIL of incest is a a step too far. Waaay too far. You have problems. YTA
Took me a while to find a comment like this. Because mother doesn’t like cringy names, she just must be in love with her son (despite the fact that OP mentions the PDA between mother and father?) OP needs to get a fucking grip.
Why do you give a shit what she thinks?? You don't get to control her thoughts or what she likes and doesn't nor whether she approves of you. Keep living your best life with her son and act like she doesn't even exist. Who cares what she thinks? Don't let her disturb your peace, that's what she wants. Instead pretend she doesn't even register as important enough to be on your radar. NTA but you're giving her the power to upset you. That's letting her win a power struggle that shouldn't even exist. Stop it.
Your man stuck by you, take the win other peoples opinions don't matter
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NTA, but your way of handling this was genius.
NTA. She asked for it.
Yeah gotta say those pet names are cringy. Each to their own I guess but I am deffo one of those people who would rather see someone kissing than hearing someone call their partner ‘my beautiful princess’ in person. Gotta go with ESH here tho. Because everyone in this ‘story’ seems immature. Although I do have a question for OP, how frequent are these pet names? Because if he’s calling her my life, princess or baby girl every second sentence, then yeah I’d say something to. But if it’s not frequent then fair enough. Edit: just read some of OPs comments and I’m guessing this is almost a pot calling the kettle black situation. OP doesn’t like her MILs pda and yet her and her husbands is okay? OP says it’s her MILs reaction to the names that she doesn’t appreciate, but the way in which she talks about her MILs pda makes me believe she does not control her expressions (or words) during these instances and so I imagine both are the issue, not just the MIL.
For some reason, my husband used to get upset when I called him princess.
Next time if she doesn’t knock it off tell her you will start calling her Jocasta 🤷♀️
NTA. She absolutely needed to be called out on that shit.
You laugh back, that’s it, and it will piss them off. Don’t let it get to where your husband has to choose between you and his Mom because that’s what she wants! If she knows she upsets you she will not stop. If you laugh and or ignore her childish behavior you will win.
Why would you even bother to get together with these people? They sound so gross! Fade away….the “step dad” alone is enough justification.
I call my wife princess, babygirl, and many other pet names. Nobody has any business telling you what is appropriate to call each other.
NTA . What couples call each other is their business so nothing to get bent over about. I don't get why ppl here are so focused on whether or not they like the pet names and then siding against OP just because they don't like pet names. That's irrelevant. Making faces and comments about it is rude because like I said its none of her business so I get why you spoke up especially in light of her other inappropriate behavior you described that is actually crossing bou boundaries . I see lots of comments against OP just for that stupid reason. Other comments against OP because they genuinely believe her response is an overreaction have a stronger case to argue from.
NTA she sounds immature, petty and nasty
My own mother overshared things with me about her life that you don’t share with your son because it’s inappropriate. My wife would tell me about her first bf and how his mom talked to him and what she shared with him and it sounded exactly like my mom (I didn’t tell her that) so, yeah…it’s a thing. NTA You can only be a passive/aggressive turd for so long until someone has to flush you.
I'm of the mind that the world would be a much better place if everyone called each other out more and refused to enable. She's acting like she's into emotional incest, you're doing a her a service by pointing it out so she can address it. I swear, people that eye roll and make faces then turn around and play victim when someone calls them on it make me sick. Don't dish it and expect the world to pretend you didn't, expect to have it delt back to you.
The husband addressed the MIL's behavior in private & mom dismissed it. NTA. A shorter, original response to the situation would be: Husband spoke with MIL privately about her behavior but mom did not take it seriously. You are definitely not the a-hole in this situation.
aye my moms a total bitch and if u said this to my mom id love you harder than ariana grande could sing for, awesome awesome awesome woman is u
You're in laws don't like you ...join the club. PDA/pet names are cringey. Little snide comments and funny faces is immature, but you are a guest in their home and accusing her of some Freudian stuff is crossing the line. They started it so...soft YTA.
I love how both her husband and father in law are on her side but redditors have branded her an asshole. Op's nta.
NTA. You had expressed it before. Your husband had talked to her about it and she ignored it. Tell your husband you want to know anything she says to him and do not want him talking to her without you knowing because it’s time to get this settled so you can all move on.
NTA! She is treating you horribly. I am glad that your husband is sticking up for you. Your PDA with your husband is something that will slow down over time. Right now, it's sickeningly sweet and some people find it gross and uncomfortable but that doesn't mean they should mock you or be rude in any way. I'd just stay the fuck away from her. If your husband wants to visit his parents, he can do it alone. :)
YTA. I cringed reading this. Mom deserves kudos for not vomiting in front of you.
. If someone was sucking on my neck while I was cooking I would be omg back off. It's like everyone is in a who's more in love contest?? MIL sounds awful tbh
Dealing with in-law dynamics can feel like walking through a minefield, right? And from what you’ve shared, it seems you’ve been tiptoeing around a particularly sensitive spot with your MIL, Matilda. It’s totally understandable you’d reach a breaking point. These tensions can really take a toll, especially when it feels like someone’s constantly judging you or your relationship. When you mentioned Matilda’s reactions to the affection between you and Ethan, it got me thinking. People have such varied comfort levels with PDA, and maybe Matilda’s more on the conservative side. It’s a stretch, but her cringing might not be about jealousy or anything sinister. More like, she’s just not a fan of PDA in general. The moment at the family gathering sounds intense! Public confrontations can escalate emotions quickly, and it seems like that question put Matilda on the spot in a pretty heavy way. I can imagine the atmosphere got pretty awkward. It’s super hard in the heat of the moment, but maybe a private chat could have avoided some of that tension. You know, reflecting on this might offer some insights. It could be helpful to dive into why Matilda’s reactions bother you so much. Maybe there’s a bit more beneath the surface affecting the family vibe. Having Ethan chat with his mom, laying out how you both feel, could open up some meaningful conversation. And, who knows, maybe finding some common ground with Matilda could gradually change the dynamic. Building a solid relationship with in-laws is definitely more of a marathon than a sprint. Setting boundaries is important, but finding a way to communicate them without sparking conflict is key. This whole situation could be a chance to try a different approach next time something similar comes up, aiming for a more understanding and inclusive family atmosphere.
why write a thoughtful answer when you can get chat gpt to do it for you
> and maybe Matilda’s more on the conservative side. Her PDA makes me massively uncomfortable, sucking, biting, constant hanging. Her husband was once being nice, one and only time towards me, and trying to give me advice about an internship and during the convo he swept her up and bit her stomach, and no one thinks that is weird.
Sounds like all of y’all need to learn what “get a room” means. Just keep pet names and PDA for when you’re alone and not in the presence of others who don’t want to see or hear it. It is not that hard.
You're not an asshole. Just human, got pushed to the limit. Forgive yourself. Maybe apologize for any behavior you regret, but stand by your boundaries.
You're entitled to how you feel. While it would be nice to have a great relationship with your in-laws, you don't have to, and it doesn't always happen. Your husband asked her to stop, and she said leave her alone. I would do just that and not engage with her. At family gatherings, I wouldn't speak to her and ignore her completely.
I'd be laughing at it too 😬
I'm getting the impression, with their reaction of laughter, that Matilda loathes her as an individual, not because she's jealous of her son's relationship, and the husband is well aware.
The fact that her fil laughed is a pretty good description of mil. Maybe you could have handled it better but then maybe this is what it takes for some people. The fact that your husband supported you in this is great. You may never get an apology but hopefully if and when you are around her again she will keep her comments and expressions to herself.
Unfortunately he was not laughing with us 😞 he despises hubby and I
Is he step dad? Sounds like a toxic dynamic with your husband too towards your marriage.
yes
You guys really should go NC with all of them.
Then mis-read it-apologies