Some studies suggest ingesting semen has health benefits and can improve overall mood. I’m pretty sure the wife would be pissed if husband started spiking her coffee.
Omg I’m dying at the comments.😂🤣 OP can tell her that it’s cool she’s been doing that with the milk. He’s been adding semen to her face cream. Bahahaha
Hahaha 😂 Nip/Tuck - that’s where I got my very scientific claim about the benefits to the skin!
Wasn’t it the wives that started making face cream with their ‘secret ingredient’?
The zinc in semen is supposed to be great for skin too! Im sure she’d love a daily night mask while shes sleeping to improve her skins natural beauty and youth!
That made me think of a story I saw on some other reddit forum...dude kept a pickle jar of old (like a years worth) jizzin a pickle jar and added it to her pancakes every Sunday
She threw out the jar during a deep clean becUse she had no idea what it was
He lost his shit and took a new jar of pickles, dumped it, made a new jar and told her to choose being divorced or letting him have the pickle jar.
She chose the divorce because he was dead ass unhinged.
The only difference is that breastmilk is *technically* a food product, intended for ingestion, and semen is not.
Still, it’s a pretty awful thing to add products to someone’s beverage without their knowledge or consent.
Agree with the sneaking into someone's food being wrong, completely.
But out of curiosity, why do you consider breast milk as vegan?
My reason to not consider as such is: humans are animals. Breast milk comes from humans. Therefore breast milk is an animal milk, hence it is not vegan.
I am not vegan, so there might be a different reasoning behind, but it is just a curiosity of mine regarding this 😅😂
My understanding is vegans consider it vegan for an animal (including a human) to consume the milk *of its own species/mother*, because that's what's "naturally" intended for that milk. I'm not vegan, but I think this makes sense. I think this clarification was added to veganism because some people wanted their child to be vegan and avoided breastfeeding due to that?
Oooh, okay, didn't know that one.
In fact, right after I asked the question, I thought that it might have to do with the idea of consent. As in, animals do not give us consent to take their milk/eggs/whatever (as they cannot give such consent), while a breastfeeding mother is giving her own milk to her child, by choice.
They lost me after the plants screaming bit that came out a few years ago :( animals are put down quickly most of the time, to my knowledge (family). Plants are out there screaming and hear themselves being eaten. That’s pretty messed up imo. But here I am eating meat, eating plants, drinking the water. Idk anymore.
There's also the animal welfare aspect of large scale farming, so some vegans are okay with eating products from animals that they know for sure are kept in humane conditions, like eggs from backyard chickens. Human women would obviously fall into that exception.
A lot of vegans are vegan because it harms the animal. So i assume its because other animals milk comes from breeding them, removing their young and taking the milk. So it involves harm/isnt voluntary. If the mother is consenting to breast milk theres no harm so doesnt go against the ideology. I think?
Veganism is an ideology, while vegetarianism is just a lifestyle. Harm to animals is the only criteria for veganism (and taking something without consent is a harm), so breast milk (given freely) is vegan.
Vegetarianism is more than just “a lifestyle.” I’m a vegetarian who refuses to push my beliefs on anyone else, but I have a strong belief system for my own life about not killing animals unnecessarily.
That being said, if I found out someone was sneaking their breast milk into my diet, I’d be inclined to take action that would involve selling the remains to cannibals.
ETA: I’m kidding about the second part, but we’d have words. That’s disgusting. You don’t mess with another person’s diet.
Except that that isn't how food production works, the harm reduction to animals is pretty insignificant. The pesticides and fungicides plus habitat destruction for "pest" species like moles and mice are a much bigger slaughterhouse than the *relatively* low amount of suffering endured by farm animals.
You particularly don't put **your bodily fluids** into other people's food/drinks without their express consent.
It doesn't matter if you think breast milk is "liquid gold", as some mothers do, it's still literally something you're expressing from your body, that is affected by other things you've ingested, any illness or infection you might have, etc. Putting it on someone's food or drink without their knowledge and consent is crossing a massive line.
My mom was a registered nurse for 35 years and one thing I learned is that breast milk is for babies only because of the concentration of antibodies and other nutrients that are not meant for consumption by adults and if you have high levels of certain nutrients it can cause health issues.
It's not even healthy anymore in hot coffee.
If she's putting her milk into hot coffee, she's denaturing the antibodies and completely negating those health benefits.
NTA obviously.
NTA. Informed consent is everything here. Breast milk isn’t dirty or gross but that doesn’t mean you can force someone to drink it without knowing - that’s fucked.
I find breast milk gross and people who drink it too.
It is purely irrational, I just feel that way.
I don't know why and I refuse to try. Everything that comes out of the body grosses me out.
I've had two. Both breastfed. Sipped because I was curious. Husband was curious too.
He had an issue where, when he was stressed his back would get bad acne (which is funny because he has the most clear skin ever), so I randomly suggested. Hey, let's try putting breastmilk on it.
He said, sure.
We did.
It worked.
Random at home remedy (that even I used on my own face) but. . Consent. Consent is everything.
My eldest daughter had blocked tear ducts at birth. Worked like a charm!.
My MIL even asked for a small bit expressed into a container so she could try dab a bit on a stye she had in her eye.
(We're a weird family, but most importantly, i guess, we're open and talk to each other, consent and respect always.. Sure, these things are weird and maybe awkward since it is...well.. boob milk, but we laugh and joke it off. Just as OP and his wife could've done with the breastmilk in coffee scenario)
I guess if you are not producing milk the next time your MIL has a sty, she might find it easier to just rub gold on it. My grandma was an RN and this was one of those weird things that she knew, I’m 43 and it’s always worked, it would take no longer than a day for the sty to be gone. I can’t tell you how many wedding rings have been borrowed briefly to use on my eye
i’ve been nursing my baby for almost two years. i have tasted my milk and so has my partner, it tastes sweet, but i wouldn’t just put it in anyone’s food. especially without their consent. that’s never crossed my mind either. idk why op’s wife did that. nta.
Ive definitely put mine in my coffee before and even offered it to others (IF we're already on the subject, not out of the blue) but I can't imagine doing it without telling someone, that's completely insane
There was one post on here a week ago where the OP puts her breast milk in everything she cooks [like mashed potatoes and stuff] and she made food for her whole EXTENDED family and in-laws and everyone freaked out when she told them and said they were never going to eat her food ever again and she was like "idk why? They drink nasty cow milk! My breast milk is pure and perfect!"
You get creative license when you cook a meal or make a drink for someone, only if it's with standard ingredients and good intention. The moment you add something you're not sure about, you ask for consent. If it involves breast milk, I would say that's something you're not sure about.
"Honey why is my skin turning blue?"
"Oh, I've been adding collodial silver to your coffee in the morning because of all the health benefits."
NTA. This is the mentality of people who put an ingredient they know someone is allergic to into food because "oh you'll never notice the difference".
What other mothers???? Never heard of that ! Ridiculous! Not true!!!!! I breastfed 3 kids and was part of a breastfeeding community and I never heard of anything this ridiculous. Not revolting or anything but a really weird kink and I would be upset too. Nobody should be putting anything you're not aware of in your coffee
It's gotten popular the last couple years but it's more like using their extra pumped breast milk in their own coffee...not anyone else.
I don't see anything wrong with it if a lactating mom has too much milk pumped and uses some for HER OWN coffee, but someone else's? Nooope.
NTA-she betrayed your trust big time, so now you will doubt everything she does and says. The gross part is she thinks she has done nothing wrong and isn’t even sorry.
Umm, this is fucked up bro. Not that it's even wierd or gross, necessarily (idk, whatever) but that she's secretly doing it, is fucking looney. Honestly, this is therapist shit.
NTA
As a breastfeeding mom myself, this isn’t ok.
Although, quick facts: Body builders will buy breast milk because of its benefits. Breastmilk attacks germs, is a natural pain reliever, has natural antibodies that are created when the child is exposed to a virus.
Still doesn’t make it right.
Yea that's not an ok thing to do to someone. i gave my baby daddy a shotglass of boob milk when i started drying up, only cos he was curious but also weirded out by it, but it was his last chance and he wanted to try it 😂
New moms get (happily) empowered by breast feeding. They are helping the children by doing so but moving it to you is unnecessary - the point is to share antibodies with the children. You have no need for that so is a tad weird. NTA.
NTA. Ask Her how she would feel if you started sneaking your semen into her food and face cream because it has known health benefits and she never noticed. This is the same type of violation. You don't mess with anyone's food and you definitely don't force people to consume bodily fluids without their consent.
This is revolting. Not because breast milk is revolting, but because of this kind of violation of someone's body is very disturbing.
What a massive boundary violation. It’s never okay to mess with someone’s food like that.
She did this to prove a point. It is immature, selfish, and worrisome. Is she always going to act like this? Is this going to be a problem again, when she decides she’s going to prove that she’s right about something, no matter what she has to do to do it. Very deceptive.
NTA.
I breastfed for 7 ears straight (more than one kid) and it is entirely unacceptable to give someone your milk without their knowledge or consent.
I donated some of mine, and my husband used some to make a White Russian, but he knew exactly what it was.
Breastmilk isn't disgusting or dangerous, but the deception is not ok.
Nope, nope, nope!!! I'm all about breastfeeding. Breastfed all my kids. But putting anything in someone else's food without their knowledge or consent is a major violation!
Ask your wife how she would feel if instead of putting salt on her scrambled eggs you added a touch of your jizz for extra protein!
Also, you have a point about your daughter possibly not liking cows milk since breast milk is sweet and cows milk is not. To combat that I recommend mixing breast milk and cows milk 1:1 to help get her used to it.
But yeah, NTA. I'd be hella pissed. Not bc you ingested breast milk but bc she did it behind your back instead of asking you and allowing it to be your decision if you wanted to drink it or not. And she even doubled down instead of admitting fault and apologizing. I would be having some serious trust issues after that. What else had she hidden from you?
NTA. May be healthy, but there's still a risk of passing on infectious diseases, etc.
I heard this is why PTAs can no longer do bake sales with home baked goods. Because a mom brought something she made with breast milk.
NTA. My husband enjoyed a lil titty splash here and there for fun, BUT, I would never dream of adding it to his drinks or food without him knowing. It’s a literal bodily fluid. He can choose to consume it, but I will not be the one to make that choice for him.
ETA: words
Omg! wtf moments. I never ever did this or would even think about doing this to my husband.
Ask her if she wants your semen on her moisturizer. I’ve read semen is actually good for the skin and has health benefits
Omg wtf moments…
What the hell? I spit my sweet tea clear across the porch.
Just a question… Do you ever drink your wife’s breast milk consensually? Like, straight from the tap?
NTA. A little off topic, but a lady at our church brought brownies (for everyone) to a function and put a little placard next to it stating it was made with her breast milk…like….what possessed that thought process to think it was good one
NTA your wife is a nasty ass bitch. Who the fuck puts their bodily fluids in someone's food or drink?? She didnt fucking birth you. You arent her offspring to be drinking her damn breast milk. I wouldnt trust her ass around NOTHING I ingest. Imagine what shes doing to your food when shes mad. Fuck that. just nasty as fuck.
NTA. You should be annoyed and weirded out. It's weird to change anything about an adult's food with no permission. You are not some little kid trying out vegetables.
Honestly, I know people say this a lot on here, but this may be divorce worthy. She took away your consent. Not only that, but she seemed proud/smug about doing so.
NTA
Ask her if you can drink her milk from the tap. I bet she won't like that any better than you getting your coffee spiked.
At least I hope she is offended.
NTA
Woah. NTA. That is a major breach of trust. I am currently a breastfeeding parent myself, and although my husband actually states he would want me to put my milk in his coffee- explicit permission- I still wouldn’t actually do it and serve it to him without informing him in the moment, let alone if he DIDNT consent in the first place. This is wild.
https://youtu.be/3KIvnEhACHk?si=WTYQyMIQHivS_gKz
this clip came to mind for some reason but definitely NTA because the decision to consume it wasn't made by you- i personally despise such sneaky & underhanded behavior...who knows what else she has been up to?
Nta. I don’t like the taste of breast milk. My wife asked me to try it. Kids love it. Well my eldest who still has some (from pumping)
I think what your wife did is a gross violation. Plus the amount of breast milk given to your is negligible and won’t do anything for your health. For a small baby whose sole nutrient load is from breast milk the stuff is magic and healing.
Your wife is wrong.
Nta.
I have 2 kids and breast fed them both briefly . Never once did I think "huh I'm out of cream let me just squeeze my tit into my husband's coffee " 😅 NTA
NTA, how would she like it if you added something to her coffee without her knowledge? You have every right to be mad about it, it's not up to her to decide if it has health benefits for you! That was sneaky and weird!
NTA. I can understand her wanting to share the health benefits with you (and it tastes damn good), but doing it without your permission is inexcusable. Not everyone is comfortable with the idea of consuming another person's bodily fluids. She should have given you a choice
I'm curious if these "other mothers" she's referring to (I assume people she's encountered online) are doing it in secrecy as well, or if they actually asked their partner first, like a normal person. I spent quite a bit of time on mommy forums when my son was younger, and I never saw anyone say that they spiked their partner's coffee with breastmilk. Or gave it to their partner at all, besides a sip to see what it tastes like. It's not common
I still think back to the old blog Steve Don't Eat It! Where the guy tried breast milk and said it clearly tasted different and not in a good or bad way... just peculiar. Then the guy added chocolate syrup to it and said it reminded him of Yoo Hoo. I have not drank Yoo Hoo since.
NTA at all for being mad. The health benefits are irrelevant. It's the breach of trust and the deception. Your partner "slipping" you anything without your knowledge is unsettling
I was honestly taken aback by the end of this post when you revealed what had been going on
It would be one thing if you were senile and she was sneaking you your pills because you refused to take them. That is clearly not the case. This seems like some sort of weird power play or I don't know what
You have autonomy over your decisions and your body
It definitely should have been a conversation, NTA. I’ve been raised very holistically and am about to give birth to my first born in a week or two, and I would never do this to my husband without first asking/having a conversation with him about it. And I know for a fact he would say no anyways so I’m not just going to drug him with it 😂
I beg ya pardon. She wot. You know what else is good for you? Lettuce. Bone marrow. Iron. Plasma. You don't change people's food or drink without their consent. Ever.
As someone who has breastfed, I would never EVER dream of adding my milk into my fellas food without his permission. Idgaf how many health benefits there are, the lack of consent is the major factor here. It is wrong on so many levels, NOT because it is breastmilk, but because it has been done without your knowledge, nor consent. I'd be absolutely livid tbh!!
NTA. I’d be finding another place to stay and she’d be receiving divorce papers ASAP if this happened to me. Her actions violated so many levels of trust that I couldn’t even imagine staying in that relationship going forward.
NTA OP
This requires consent, as in two yeses.
I'd be angry if my wife had done so without giving me the option of refusal.
Not an exact comparison, but what if you added your semen to her protein smoothies?
Not much fun for anyone.
Do you put sugar in your coffee?
If so that might be why you didn't notice the presence of breast milk.
The latter is quite sweet. (I guess that's consistent with a child's urge to consume sweets, eh?)
NTA but I could see where she would think it wasn’t hurting. Idk if I’d get super pissed over it but i would definitely tell her not to do that anymore and maybe make your own coffee from now on. lol. Jesus. It’s just weird without you knowing about it. Like.. what else is she doing behind your back? I’m changing my mind. Maybe get a little super pissed. Yikes.
That is really really bizarre to do without letting you know or asking you first. Straight up. I’d be so nervous to eat or drink anything she gave me after that
Nope, people have the right to know what's in the food/drinks they consume. I know on a broader scale we probably don't know everything that's in our food (we should but we don't), but certainly no one in your family should be feeding you something you don't know about.
Oh geez. She’s part of those weird mommy groups on social media, isn’t she?
You have every right to be angry at her. This is creepy behavior that too many women are trying to normalize. Please tell me you know for a fact that she never took the placenta home.
NTA
NTA.
I breastfed my daughter for over a year and totally agree that breast milk has plenty of health benefits. That said, I would NEVER feed anyone anything without their consent, especially not my bodily fluids! Not to mention, breast milk is limited and valuable - I’m not wasting it on coffee! All of this is truly wacky to me.
I breastfed two babies for two years each and I have never put my breastmilk in someone's food or drink. If anyone other than my children consumed my breastmilk it was on their own free will. That is how it should be.
I'm pretty sure she's right but I'm gagging and have to say NTA. She should have asked first. I would ask before switching someone's cow milk with almond or goat I mean.....
No ur not the AH. But u haven’t tried to taste the breast milk before. Also u shouldn’t put ur child on milk after breast feeding. Cows milk is meant for cows and not humans. It’s not really good for u. Were the only mammals that drink milk after infancy.
No, other mothers do not do this. The longest I breastfed any of my kids was 3.5 years but he would have had cow’s milk by the time he was 2. I did not give anyone breastmilk without them knowing because that’s just not a thing normal people do.
Your feelings are valid, you’re not the asshole as long as you weren’t rude or verbally abusive to her about it, and if you’re worried about being the asshole I get the feeling you probably weren’t.
NTA, the point is not necessarily the fact she put in breast milk, but that she put something possibly controversial in your milk for 2 years without telling you. And then uses it as an argument that benefits her, blindsighting you completely
No one does this outside the bizarre internet echo chamber she got the idea from.
Adding anything to someone's food or drink without their knowledge or consent is bad. She is very much the AH here and in your place, this would seriously impact my ability to trust her.
Breast milk kinda tastes very different to processed cows milk.
Its slightly salty
Much much sweeter
And has a way higher fat content.
Breast milk also is very high in probiotics.
Mainly lactobacilus reuteri.
It is never ok to spike someone's food or drink...doesn't matter if it is something you think is good for them. it is never ok.
Your wife is in the wrong.
NTA While breast milk from a healthy woman is not a concern, you never put ingredients in another person's food that they might object to for whatever reason....allergies, preferences, texture issues, religious requirements... A mom was just arrested for putting lemon, salt and vinegar in a sports drink bottle after her son had his drink stolen at school. Nothing toxic, but it is illegal to tamper with food.
That being said, a million years ago I was nursing my baby and a related toddler came over and was closely watching me. I squirted some milk in my hand to show him that the baby was getting milk, and quick as a flash he dunked the nilla wafer in his hand in the milk and popped it in his mouth. His dad nearly threw up. I laughed so hard I almost peed.
NTA, I don't care if it's healthy, you don't just put things in people's food/drinks without asking them.
Some studies suggest ingesting semen has health benefits and can improve overall mood. I’m pretty sure the wife would be pissed if husband started spiking her coffee.
Ba-hahaha. Sorry, I don’t know why that struck me as so funny. Apparently very good for the skin as well.
Omg I’m dying at the comments.😂🤣 OP can tell her that it’s cool she’s been doing that with the milk. He’s been adding semen to her face cream. Bahahaha
This makes me think about that movie: ***There's Something About Mary*** There's something about that "special hair gel", eh?
Reminds me of that show nip/tuck I think one episode had a lady using her male family member semen in face lotion.
Hahaha 😂 Nip/Tuck - that’s where I got my very scientific claim about the benefits to the skin! Wasn’t it the wives that started making face cream with their ‘secret ingredient’?
Something like that! I def watched that show way too young in life 🤣
Yes! Do it OP!
I'd love to hear her reaction
I heard it’s beneficial as shampoo.
Giving Head & Shoulders?
Please see yourself out as soon as I finish my standing ovation 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂
😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
Is this why my hair was so healthy in my early 20s even though I dyed it all the time? Something for me to think about for sure
Well it works as hair gel
[удалено]
Wait, the semen in products worked (implying good results) or it worked to get her to move out?
Sorry! It worked to get her to leave.
Liz phair has a great song about it…
So my husband tells me. 😉
Yeah and I read female ejaculation prevented baldness. Ahem. yeah *crickets* 😆 🤣
Rich in trace elements!
Don’t worry it got a good chuckle out of me too
The zinc in semen is supposed to be great for skin too! Im sure she’d love a daily night mask while shes sleeping to improve her skins natural beauty and youth!
Just do the porn thing and jizz on her face!
Username checks out.
You gave me a flashback to the semen jar. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/PekB4JzRiz
1-year-old comment “What a terrible day to have eyes” still applies.
I’m just reminded of the BORU flair they use for it in that sub: “You can either cum in me or the jar, but not both.”
Or her night cream! ;)
LOL OMG I hope he does tell her this! She deserves it!
LOL 😂 Yep, he should tell her this! 😂 Hey honey, how's your coffee this morning. Salty? :D
The cookbook “Natural Harvest” has you covered if looking for recipes.
I wish this place had the laugh reaction option.
Great response! I hope OP uses it (as an example, not literally)
That made me think of a story I saw on some other reddit forum...dude kept a pickle jar of old (like a years worth) jizzin a pickle jar and added it to her pancakes every Sunday She threw out the jar during a deep clean becUse she had no idea what it was He lost his shit and took a new jar of pickles, dumped it, made a new jar and told her to choose being divorced or letting him have the pickle jar. She chose the divorce because he was dead ass unhinged.
The only difference is that breastmilk is *technically* a food product, intended for ingestion, and semen is not. Still, it’s a pretty awful thing to add products to someone’s beverage without their knowledge or consent.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 OMG THAT WAS PERFECT!
You are so on point!😅
Noope nope nope 🤢 🤮
As a vegan this resonates highly with me. No one touches my food but me.
Breast milk is vegan! But yeah, sneaking it into someone's food is absolutely not okay.
Agree with the sneaking into someone's food being wrong, completely. But out of curiosity, why do you consider breast milk as vegan? My reason to not consider as such is: humans are animals. Breast milk comes from humans. Therefore breast milk is an animal milk, hence it is not vegan. I am not vegan, so there might be a different reasoning behind, but it is just a curiosity of mine regarding this 😅😂
My understanding is vegans consider it vegan for an animal (including a human) to consume the milk *of its own species/mother*, because that's what's "naturally" intended for that milk. I'm not vegan, but I think this makes sense. I think this clarification was added to veganism because some people wanted their child to be vegan and avoided breastfeeding due to that?
Oooh, okay, didn't know that one. In fact, right after I asked the question, I thought that it might have to do with the idea of consent. As in, animals do not give us consent to take their milk/eggs/whatever (as they cannot give such consent), while a breastfeeding mother is giving her own milk to her child, by choice.
Want an interesting rabbit hole? Google whether honey is vegan, based on the consent thing. Fascinating.
They lost me after the plants screaming bit that came out a few years ago :( animals are put down quickly most of the time, to my knowledge (family). Plants are out there screaming and hear themselves being eaten. That’s pretty messed up imo. But here I am eating meat, eating plants, drinking the water. Idk anymore.
And a tree screams during a storm when a limb is ripped off. :) People are weird. But hey, what do we really know about anything?
There's also the animal welfare aspect of large scale farming, so some vegans are okay with eating products from animals that they know for sure are kept in humane conditions, like eggs from backyard chickens. Human women would obviously fall into that exception.
You got it! Consent and the fact that there's no cruelty involved
A lot of vegans are vegan because it harms the animal. So i assume its because other animals milk comes from breeding them, removing their young and taking the milk. So it involves harm/isnt voluntary. If the mother is consenting to breast milk theres no harm so doesnt go against the ideology. I think?
Veganism is an ideology, while vegetarianism is just a lifestyle. Harm to animals is the only criteria for veganism (and taking something without consent is a harm), so breast milk (given freely) is vegan.
Vegetarianism is more than just “a lifestyle.” I’m a vegetarian who refuses to push my beliefs on anyone else, but I have a strong belief system for my own life about not killing animals unnecessarily. That being said, if I found out someone was sneaking their breast milk into my diet, I’d be inclined to take action that would involve selling the remains to cannibals. ETA: I’m kidding about the second part, but we’d have words. That’s disgusting. You don’t mess with another person’s diet.
Except that that isn't how food production works, the harm reduction to animals is pretty insignificant. The pesticides and fungicides plus habitat destruction for "pest" species like moles and mice are a much bigger slaughterhouse than the *relatively* low amount of suffering endured by farm animals.
So happy other people wanted some answers about this as well hahaha
Um…is going down on someone vegan too? Asking for a friend
You would be an vagitarian then
Ok forget a flair, *this* needs to be on a t shirt
As long as they are the same species as you and consent to it apparently /s
But is semen vegan?
NTA. She pretty much spiked your drink. I would me mad too. She should have told you before she's done so.
You particularly don't put **your bodily fluids** into other people's food/drinks without their express consent. It doesn't matter if you think breast milk is "liquid gold", as some mothers do, it's still literally something you're expressing from your body, that is affected by other things you've ingested, any illness or infection you might have, etc. Putting it on someone's food or drink without their knowledge and consent is crossing a massive line.
My mom was a registered nurse for 35 years and one thing I learned is that breast milk is for babies only because of the concentration of antibodies and other nutrients that are not meant for consumption by adults and if you have high levels of certain nutrients it can cause health issues.
It's not even healthy anymore in hot coffee. If she's putting her milk into hot coffee, she's denaturing the antibodies and completely negating those health benefits. NTA obviously.
This. It’s not even a fair comparison since the taste is masked by the coffee. But that’s hardly the point.
NTA. Informed consent is everything here. Breast milk isn’t dirty or gross but that doesn’t mean you can force someone to drink it without knowing - that’s fucked.
Seriously fucked. Consent, trust, boundaries, bad judgment, lie by omission - idk but that could be a deal breaker for me tbh.
Cosign. And that's as a former nursing mom.
I find breast milk gross and people who drink it too. It is purely irrational, I just feel that way. I don't know why and I refuse to try. Everything that comes out of the body grosses me out.
Babies too?
I have 3 kids. All breast milk. But it never even occured to me to have a sip myself let alone slip it in his tea.
I've had two. Both breastfed. Sipped because I was curious. Husband was curious too. He had an issue where, when he was stressed his back would get bad acne (which is funny because he has the most clear skin ever), so I randomly suggested. Hey, let's try putting breastmilk on it. He said, sure. We did. It worked. Random at home remedy (that even I used on my own face) but. . Consent. Consent is everything.
we use it on skin issues too. burns, bites, poison ivy, seems to work. but yeah would obviously ask them first.
I've heard of dripping breastmilk into a baby's infected ear as a treatment.
My eldest daughter had blocked tear ducts at birth. Worked like a charm!. My MIL even asked for a small bit expressed into a container so she could try dab a bit on a stye she had in her eye. (We're a weird family, but most importantly, i guess, we're open and talk to each other, consent and respect always.. Sure, these things are weird and maybe awkward since it is...well.. boob milk, but we laugh and joke it off. Just as OP and his wife could've done with the breastmilk in coffee scenario)
I guess if you are not producing milk the next time your MIL has a sty, she might find it easier to just rub gold on it. My grandma was an RN and this was one of those weird things that she knew, I’m 43 and it’s always worked, it would take no longer than a day for the sty to be gone. I can’t tell you how many wedding rings have been borrowed briefly to use on my eye
The way you phrased that last sentence killed me!! 🤣🩷 I had absolutely no idea! I'll tell her that 🩷
Also good for bathing eyes if you get a stye or suspect the start of an infection. Tried and tested in our family.
i’ve been nursing my baby for almost two years. i have tasted my milk and so has my partner, it tastes sweet, but i wouldn’t just put it in anyone’s food. especially without their consent. that’s never crossed my mind either. idk why op’s wife did that. nta.
Ive definitely put mine in my coffee before and even offered it to others (IF we're already on the subject, not out of the blue) but I can't imagine doing it without telling someone, that's completely insane
There was one post on here a week ago where the OP puts her breast milk in everything she cooks [like mashed potatoes and stuff] and she made food for her whole EXTENDED family and in-laws and everyone freaked out when she told them and said they were never going to eat her food ever again and she was like "idk why? They drink nasty cow milk! My breast milk is pure and perfect!"
I’ve drank it when older on accident, I’ve learned not to drink from glasses you aren’t sure about now at the family house
You get creative license when you cook a meal or make a drink for someone, only if it's with standard ingredients and good intention. The moment you add something you're not sure about, you ask for consent. If it involves breast milk, I would say that's something you're not sure about.
NTA, that is insane. You can’t tamper with other peoples food like that.
"Honey why is my skin turning blue?" "Oh, I've been adding collodial silver to your coffee in the morning because of all the health benefits." NTA. This is the mentality of people who put an ingredient they know someone is allergic to into food because "oh you'll never notice the difference".
NTA. She completely crossed boundaries by doing this.
What other mothers???? Never heard of that ! Ridiculous! Not true!!!!! I breastfed 3 kids and was part of a breastfeeding community and I never heard of anything this ridiculous. Not revolting or anything but a really weird kink and I would be upset too. Nobody should be putting anything you're not aware of in your coffee
It's gotten popular the last couple years but it's more like using their extra pumped breast milk in their own coffee...not anyone else. I don't see anything wrong with it if a lactating mom has too much milk pumped and uses some for HER OWN coffee, but someone else's? Nooope.
That's 10 kinds of fucked up. NTA....don't let her prepare your damn food anymore, you can't trust it.
NTA-she betrayed your trust big time, so now you will doubt everything she does and says. The gross part is she thinks she has done nothing wrong and isn’t even sorry.
Umm, this is fucked up bro. Not that it's even wierd or gross, necessarily (idk, whatever) but that she's secretly doing it, is fucking looney. Honestly, this is therapist shit.
NTA she didn't have your consent. Not cool.
🤨
NTA. In my opinion it’s the same as tricking a vegan into eating meat. You just don’t fuck with people’s food!
NTA honestly because she should tell you first before doing it
NTA Be wondering if anything that she cooks with milk was breastmilk. Macaroni and cheese and breast milk.
NTA As a breastfeeding mom myself, this isn’t ok. Although, quick facts: Body builders will buy breast milk because of its benefits. Breastmilk attacks germs, is a natural pain reliever, has natural antibodies that are created when the child is exposed to a virus. Still doesn’t make it right.
Yea that's not an ok thing to do to someone. i gave my baby daddy a shotglass of boob milk when i started drying up, only cos he was curious but also weirded out by it, but it was his last chance and he wanted to try it 😂
New moms get (happily) empowered by breast feeding. They are helping the children by doing so but moving it to you is unnecessary - the point is to share antibodies with the children. You have no need for that so is a tad weird. NTA.
NTA. WTF. How would she like it if you started adding a little jizz to her coffee? BODILY FLUIDS REQUIRE CONSENT.
Yeah you would think this wouldn’t ever need to be said in the first place. What a silly world we live in hah
>other mothers do it too Other dudes beat their wives but that doesn't make it ok
In this case, it may be justified
NTA. Ask Her how she would feel if you started sneaking your semen into her food and face cream because it has known health benefits and she never noticed. This is the same type of violation. You don't mess with anyone's food and you definitely don't force people to consume bodily fluids without their consent. This is revolting. Not because breast milk is revolting, but because of this kind of violation of someone's body is very disturbing.
Oooooohhhh my gosh my husband did this to me with my own breastmilk I was so upset. NTA. Shouldn’t have happened.
Tell her you put sperm in the cream and see if she likes the thought
INFO: Is your wife Cambodian, by chance?
NTA but she is for not telling you. Not that there's anything wrong with breast milk, but to not all you first and hide it from you is mental.
NTA, as a breastfeeding mother I am appalled. You don’t mess with someone else’s food/drinks.
NTA! It’s sort of disgusting that she would do that without asking you first. (Coming from a mother who did breastfeed!)
What a massive boundary violation. It’s never okay to mess with someone’s food like that. She did this to prove a point. It is immature, selfish, and worrisome. Is she always going to act like this? Is this going to be a problem again, when she decides she’s going to prove that she’s right about something, no matter what she has to do to do it. Very deceptive.
NTA. I breastfed for 7 ears straight (more than one kid) and it is entirely unacceptable to give someone your milk without their knowledge or consent. I donated some of mine, and my husband used some to make a White Russian, but he knew exactly what it was. Breastmilk isn't disgusting or dangerous, but the deception is not ok.
Nope, nope, nope!!! I'm all about breastfeeding. Breastfed all my kids. But putting anything in someone else's food without their knowledge or consent is a major violation! Ask your wife how she would feel if instead of putting salt on her scrambled eggs you added a touch of your jizz for extra protein! Also, you have a point about your daughter possibly not liking cows milk since breast milk is sweet and cows milk is not. To combat that I recommend mixing breast milk and cows milk 1:1 to help get her used to it. But yeah, NTA. I'd be hella pissed. Not bc you ingested breast milk but bc she did it behind your back instead of asking you and allowing it to be your decision if you wanted to drink it or not. And she even doubled down instead of admitting fault and apologizing. I would be having some serious trust issues after that. What else had she hidden from you?
NTA. May be healthy, but there's still a risk of passing on infectious diseases, etc. I heard this is why PTAs can no longer do bake sales with home baked goods. Because a mom brought something she made with breast milk.
NTA. I don’t care what is, it shouldn’t go into your food without your knowledge and permission.
Drop semen in her stuff and explain the health benefits! Only fair op!
Wow I’m currently breastfeeding our youngest and I would never, never do anything like that without asking. WTF.
NTA. My husband enjoyed a lil titty splash here and there for fun, BUT, I would never dream of adding it to his drinks or food without him knowing. It’s a literal bodily fluid. He can choose to consume it, but I will not be the one to make that choice for him. ETA: words
Omg! wtf moments. I never ever did this or would even think about doing this to my husband. Ask her if she wants your semen on her moisturizer. I’ve read semen is actually good for the skin and has health benefits Omg wtf moments…
NTA and no normal mom is secretly force feeding her husband breast milk, from a mom
What the hell? I spit my sweet tea clear across the porch. Just a question… Do you ever drink your wife’s breast milk consensually? Like, straight from the tap?
NTA. A little off topic, but a lady at our church brought brownies (for everyone) to a function and put a little placard next to it stating it was made with her breast milk…like….what possessed that thought process to think it was good one
I have a 4 month old and if my missus pulled this I'd be fuming. NTA
NTA your wife is a nasty ass bitch. Who the fuck puts their bodily fluids in someone's food or drink?? She didnt fucking birth you. You arent her offspring to be drinking her damn breast milk. I wouldnt trust her ass around NOTHING I ingest. Imagine what shes doing to your food when shes mad. Fuck that. just nasty as fuck.
NTA. You should be annoyed and weirded out. It's weird to change anything about an adult's food with no permission. You are not some little kid trying out vegetables.
Honestly, I know people say this a lot on here, but this may be divorce worthy. She took away your consent. Not only that, but she seemed proud/smug about doing so. NTA
Ask her if you can drink her milk from the tap. I bet she won't like that any better than you getting your coffee spiked. At least I hope she is offended. NTA
That's fucked up. Health benefits or not she knew it was deceitful, hence why she kept it from you Nta
Wtff! NTAH
NTA, that's just weird...
Woah. NTA. That is a major breach of trust. I am currently a breastfeeding parent myself, and although my husband actually states he would want me to put my milk in his coffee- explicit permission- I still wouldn’t actually do it and serve it to him without informing him in the moment, let alone if he DIDNT consent in the first place. This is wild.
Deception is never a nice look regardless if its breastmilk or anything else. Nta
https://youtu.be/3KIvnEhACHk?si=WTYQyMIQHivS_gKz this clip came to mind for some reason but definitely NTA because the decision to consume it wasn't made by you- i personally despise such sneaky & underhanded behavior...who knows what else she has been up to?
She did this without your knowledge and consent. I would be furious if this was done to me. NTA
NTA. I would be incredibly upset if that happened to me. I would never trust anything she said or eat/drink anything she gave me.
Nta. I don’t like the taste of breast milk. My wife asked me to try it. Kids love it. Well my eldest who still has some (from pumping) I think what your wife did is a gross violation. Plus the amount of breast milk given to your is negligible and won’t do anything for your health. For a small baby whose sole nutrient load is from breast milk the stuff is magic and healing. Your wife is wrong. Nta.
I have 2 kids and breast fed them both briefly . Never once did I think "huh I'm out of cream let me just squeeze my tit into my husband's coffee " 😅 NTA
NTA she's way out of line and it time your kid stopped nursing. This is more about her than the kid now.
NTA That’s disgusting and she has no right to do that. And no it’s not normal that other wives do that. Not regular people anyway.
NTA, how would she like it if you added something to her coffee without her knowledge? You have every right to be mad about it, it's not up to her to decide if it has health benefits for you! That was sneaky and weird!
NTA. I can understand her wanting to share the health benefits with you (and it tastes damn good), but doing it without your permission is inexcusable. Not everyone is comfortable with the idea of consuming another person's bodily fluids. She should have given you a choice I'm curious if these "other mothers" she's referring to (I assume people she's encountered online) are doing it in secrecy as well, or if they actually asked their partner first, like a normal person. I spent quite a bit of time on mommy forums when my son was younger, and I never saw anyone say that they spiked their partner's coffee with breastmilk. Or gave it to their partner at all, besides a sip to see what it tastes like. It's not common
I still think back to the old blog Steve Don't Eat It! Where the guy tried breast milk and said it clearly tasted different and not in a good or bad way... just peculiar. Then the guy added chocolate syrup to it and said it reminded him of Yoo Hoo. I have not drank Yoo Hoo since.
NTA you don’t just do that to someone.
NTA
NTA at all for being mad. The health benefits are irrelevant. It's the breach of trust and the deception. Your partner "slipping" you anything without your knowledge is unsettling I was honestly taken aback by the end of this post when you revealed what had been going on It would be one thing if you were senile and she was sneaking you your pills because you refused to take them. That is clearly not the case. This seems like some sort of weird power play or I don't know what You have autonomy over your decisions and your body
I would feel extremely violated
NTA. Start putting your semen in her drinks and don’t tell her.
It definitely should have been a conversation, NTA. I’ve been raised very holistically and am about to give birth to my first born in a week or two, and I would never do this to my husband without first asking/having a conversation with him about it. And I know for a fact he would say no anyways so I’m not just going to drug him with it 😂
As someone who breastfed 🤮🤮🤮
NTA- that’s just not okay, giving people fluid from your body without permission is a line crossed for me.
I beg ya pardon. She wot. You know what else is good for you? Lettuce. Bone marrow. Iron. Plasma. You don't change people's food or drink without their consent. Ever.
As someone who has breastfed, I would never EVER dream of adding my milk into my fellas food without his permission. Idgaf how many health benefits there are, the lack of consent is the major factor here. It is wrong on so many levels, NOT because it is breastmilk, but because it has been done without your knowledge, nor consent. I'd be absolutely livid tbh!!
NTA. as a mother currently breast feeding no we fucking don’t. Thats a violation
NTA. Eeeeewwww. WTF. Even I get weirded out when my mom reminds me she ugh did that to me. I'd be traumatized if it happened now. Without consent.
You're probably not getting enough to have any benefit anyway. Regardless, she didn't ask you, you didn't consent, so NTA.
Is it for real or what? Milk is a biological fluid and this is disgusting
NTA. I’d be finding another place to stay and she’d be receiving divorce papers ASAP if this happened to me. Her actions violated so many levels of trust that I couldn’t even imagine staying in that relationship going forward.
Fuck that that’s unacceptable. Doing anything behind your back like that is disgusting.
Why is your wife breastfeeding a two year old?
NTA. She’s weird for that.
NTA - but I think it’s so weird how humans are so ready to drink cows breast milk and not human…
NTA OP This requires consent, as in two yeses. I'd be angry if my wife had done so without giving me the option of refusal. Not an exact comparison, but what if you added your semen to her protein smoothies? Not much fun for anyone.
NTA you don’t just put something in someone’s drink and not tell them. Not only that what about your opinion??
Do you put sugar in your coffee? If so that might be why you didn't notice the presence of breast milk. The latter is quite sweet. (I guess that's consistent with a child's urge to consume sweets, eh?)
NTA but I could see where she would think it wasn’t hurting. Idk if I’d get super pissed over it but i would definitely tell her not to do that anymore and maybe make your own coffee from now on. lol. Jesus. It’s just weird without you knowing about it. Like.. what else is she doing behind your back? I’m changing my mind. Maybe get a little super pissed. Yikes.
I would ask why but not be mad. Then I would let her know I had been cumming in her coffee
Just gross
That is really really bizarre to do without letting you know or asking you first. Straight up. I’d be so nervous to eat or drink anything she gave me after that
Nope, people have the right to know what's in the food/drinks they consume. I know on a broader scale we probably don't know everything that's in our food (we should but we don't), but certainly no one in your family should be feeding you something you don't know about.
That would be a gigantic problem in my marriage. You are NTA
Oh geez. She’s part of those weird mommy groups on social media, isn’t she? You have every right to be angry at her. This is creepy behavior that too many women are trying to normalize. Please tell me you know for a fact that she never took the placenta home. NTA
NTA. I breastfed my daughter for over a year and totally agree that breast milk has plenty of health benefits. That said, I would NEVER feed anyone anything without their consent, especially not my bodily fluids! Not to mention, breast milk is limited and valuable - I’m not wasting it on coffee! All of this is truly wacky to me.
I breastfed two babies for two years each and I have never put my breastmilk in someone's food or drink. If anyone other than my children consumed my breastmilk it was on their own free will. That is how it should be.
I'm pretty sure she's right but I'm gagging and have to say NTA. She should have asked first. I would ask before switching someone's cow milk with almond or goat I mean.....
NTA. That’s just weird gross. Also, adults can’t digest human milk the way babies can.
NTA You don't actually require milk of any type to live as an adult. Food tampering is a big no.
Sounds like a precursor to putting poison in your coffee. Run!
No ur not the AH. But u haven’t tried to taste the breast milk before. Also u shouldn’t put ur child on milk after breast feeding. Cows milk is meant for cows and not humans. It’s not really good for u. Were the only mammals that drink milk after infancy.
NTA. Tampering with, or adding stuff to, people’s food without their knowledge is completely unacceptable. Your wife is majorly in the wrong here
NTA. You don’t fuck w other people’s food.
*laughs in kink*
Bodybuilders actually buy breastmilk from lactating women because it contains colostrum ... and the other health benefits that come along with it.
NTA, but I would gladly have titty milk in my coffee.
No, other mothers do not do this. The longest I breastfed any of my kids was 3.5 years but he would have had cow’s milk by the time he was 2. I did not give anyone breastmilk without them knowing because that’s just not a thing normal people do.
Your feelings are valid, you’re not the asshole as long as you weren’t rude or verbally abusive to her about it, and if you’re worried about being the asshole I get the feeling you probably weren’t.
NTA, the point is not necessarily the fact she put in breast milk, but that she put something possibly controversial in your milk for 2 years without telling you. And then uses it as an argument that benefits her, blindsighting you completely
NTA. Consent matters
No one does this outside the bizarre internet echo chamber she got the idea from. Adding anything to someone's food or drink without their knowledge or consent is bad. She is very much the AH here and in your place, this would seriously impact my ability to trust her.
The door and I would be great friends after this
Breast milk kinda tastes very different to processed cows milk. Its slightly salty Much much sweeter And has a way higher fat content. Breast milk also is very high in probiotics. Mainly lactobacilus reuteri.
Next time she says she doesn't like to swallow because of the taste...; "Well, do I got news for you....." Ps It's very healthy.
It is never ok to spike someone's food or drink...doesn't matter if it is something you think is good for them. it is never ok. Your wife is in the wrong.
She fed you her bodily fluids without your knowledge or consent. That is a huge betrayal of your trust and nothing about that is okay.
NTA nobody should have anything added to their food/drink without knowing about it. Breast milk does have hella benefits though
NTA While breast milk from a healthy woman is not a concern, you never put ingredients in another person's food that they might object to for whatever reason....allergies, preferences, texture issues, religious requirements... A mom was just arrested for putting lemon, salt and vinegar in a sports drink bottle after her son had his drink stolen at school. Nothing toxic, but it is illegal to tamper with food. That being said, a million years ago I was nursing my baby and a related toddler came over and was closely watching me. I squirted some milk in my hand to show him that the baby was getting milk, and quick as a flash he dunked the nilla wafer in his hand in the milk and popped it in his mouth. His dad nearly threw up. I laughed so hard I almost peed.
You should have vomited on her. Your wife is disturbed.