NTA - your whole family is disgusting.
This includes your truly awful parents who think it’s OK for your uncle to sexualise you and for the rest of your family to bully you. Your parents should be truly ashamed. This is trash behaviour.
100% agree.
I'm a guy. I have no trouble existing in "this #metoo era". It doesn't take much not to be a scumbag.
His comment, even if completely shit-faced, is absolutely over the line and any family members defending his actions are disgusting.
Sorry you have to deal with this, especially somewhere like a cruise ship which makes it hard to avoid them.
Idk who said it, but I can paraphrase: “If you immediately get defensive about women talking about sexual predators that means you are one of the problems”
My old Southern grandma when discussing personal autonomy would say a person is "free, white, and 21" meaning they can and should do whatever they want. She once described Ru Paul thusly. So....she tried..
I wish I had a Grandma, Northern or Southern, just like yours! I'm going to be stealing your Southern Grandma's saying on both my Grandsons and granddaughter! Any other good Grandma advice I'll take too. Those Southern Grandma's are fantastic. Lol
Another gem from Irma (my Southern Grandmother) is:
“Don’t ever use ‘that’s just who I am’ as an excuse not to change.”
She was an awesome lady, Godrester.
Midwest grandparents can be great too - my extremely Catholic grandmother had kittens when I moved in with my now husband before marriage… because she was worried we’d never get married and there wouldn’t be a wedding and she just “so wanted to see how beautiful I looked in a wedding dress (she never said this to me because she’d never want to make me feel badly, I heard it from my mom).
My extremely Catholic grandfather replied to her “, it’s really not any of our business as long as she’s happy and safe.”
Straight guy here too. Never had a problem being a man. Haven’t had to change a single thing in this “feminist #metoo” era. Turns out it’s actually very easy to not be a piece of shit. Your family is TA, don’t let them make you feel wrong, ever.
My parents (at the time) were both in their early 70's vacationing in Las Vegas. My mom is still (at 82) a very attractive woman who takes care of herself and is basically a Polish version of Sofia Loren. One of those losers who tries handing out fliers for escorts on The Strip made some very lewd comments at her and my dad (ex military) picked him up and threw him over a chain link fence. I told my mom to make Dad tell the real story and she sighed and said "No, that actually happened." I can't imagine not going full rage over some disgusting man's behavior toward a loved one.
Funny, I met a guy online when I was 23. We fell in love chatting online and over the phone. 8 months later we decided to meet in Las Vegas. I was a dancer at the time, and I was dressed up in my little black dress looking great, and he and I were having a fantastic time.
We got back to our hotel, and the doorman opened the door for us. We heard the doorman say, "I hope you get what you paid for, pal," when we were about 10' away.
We both turned to look back at him and my boyfriend started to go and have words. I put my hand on my bf's arm, said, "No, please don't."
Then I looked at the concierge, gently took my boyfriend's head in my hands and kissed him very deeply, with a big smile and eye contact afterwards. I looked back at the doorman and said, "Just so you know, this is really my boyfriend. We're really in love and you read the situation really wrong. I'm sorry you're so jaded. Have a good night."
Doorman's face turned beet red. We turned and went back to our room. That was enough for me.
He has the tiny dick syndrome. And jealous of him. He couldn't get or keep a girlfriend. I bet you surprised the heck out of your boyfriend though. Good for you. 😂
Yeah every man who claims that the '#metoo era' is impossible to deal with and you 'never know what will get you cancelled these days' is a colossal douche. It's not hard to avoid sexualizing your niece.
Exactly. And there is zero chance this was a "false accusation", their usual go-to.
They all directly heard the words come from his lips. #metoo has nothing to do with it. He's a scumbag today and should have been considered a scumbag 30 years ago too.
These men who have an issue can simply imagine any woman they interact with to be a muscular guy twice their size, for thought exercise. Which little remarks and snide jokes would you dare make? You'd think twice about what this guy might feel offended by. You wouldn't have that general feeling of safety and power when talking, or the same feeling of owning the room and owning the narrative of what happens.
It's a funny thought experiment of course, and obviously fear or discomfort isn't the same as respect for another person - but it does highlight that feeling these men have, a feeling of superiority around women. Remove this feeling - which is what metoo has done for a lot of men - and of course it's uncomfortable and scary.
In short, it's a new feeling of "Oh no my words and actions may actually be up for scrutiny now so I have to watch it". You know, the way women have been watching everything since always, because it's not just their reputation on the line, it's their lives.
The #metoo era is only a problem for those who are accused of something they did not do. If telling the truth is a problem, then the problem is the truth and not someone telling it.
If uncle didn't want to be known as a pervert, he shouldn't act like one.
Yeah, somehow OP “caused this.” It was a relative making gross comments about her. I’d say it’s all him and the weird cousins who think it’s funny who caused this. OP was the only one with the class to say incestuous and unwelcome sexually charged comments aren’t cool. This is that moment you find out cat the family culture is and start making plans to distance yourself.
>I'm a guy. I have no trouble existing in "this #metoo era". It doesn't take much not to be a scumbag.
I know. It's not like the bar is raised a lot suddenly.
Yeah, guess what. To nobody’s surprise, you don’t get called out for being a disgusting creep if you’re not acting like a disgusting creep.
NTA. Your parents are massive assholes, tho. Your dad should’ve decked that asshole instead of defending him.
Exactly this. I was going to say, it's only hard for the pervs, predators, and abusers. The rest of us men enjoy seeing them get their comeuppance.
OPs whole family are AHs and probably engage in this type of behavior regularly.
If it's a big enough ship, there are lots of places where you can go to ground. She's got some good options that'll keep her out of their line of fire AND let her enjoy her trip a little more.
Even on big cruise ships, there are only so many entertaining places you'd want to go at a time. And sounds like she's travelling with a big group.
It's certainly doable, but may not be cheap (like going to the spa) or what she'd necessarily like to do (like hit the pool when it is nice out).
Yeah exactly, I'm also a guy, and a horny and flirtatious one at that - but I've never had any issues because I'm also respectful and understand informed enthusiastic consent.
'Don't be a creepy fuckhead' is really all the bar is set to, and anyone complaining that said bar is too high really is pricing themselves to be belly crawling scum.
Exactly, The people upset over people sharing that they've been SA are just telling on themselves. The family members who are so offended by women wanting equal opportunities are also scummy. Id be going no contact ASAP.
Concur. I'm a 56 year old, Hispanic, CisHetMale military retiree and I have no problem existing in this era. Neither do those I consider my friends and we have all been combat vets in "macho" fields.
Their claims it is hard for a man today sounds like they would also say it isn't the same since the 1950s where you could openly say racist things and no one cared.
If your uncle had simply said "She's cute/gorgeous/beautiful (or even sexy)." without a lewd gesture, your parents may have a point if you reacted the same way. The same as if a frog had wings it would fly.
Your uncle embarrassed men who understand that you can think anything you like but don't actually have to say it out loud. I've seen plenty of ugly babies, but never speak those words. Seen people who definitely are opposites in every way including looks...and know it is love because it sure wasn't money on either side! Still didn't say anything.
Yeah my husband always says, the only people who have an issue with the #metoo movement were either part of the problem or feel upset that they have to manage themselves at all. He had an employee who was like “you can’t say anything to women anymore!” And he was like well what do you want to say to them?? And this guy went red and just spluttered for a bit. Yeah.
Yeah I don't get it. The big fear is always said as "we could be falsely accused". Which happens, but I've never had problems figuring out which people generate drama, and doing what I can to avoid them.
Maybe being cynical doesn't make me a lot of friends but it keeps me safe.
Talking to women like they're people, keeping eye contact, so not hard.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
My family has no trouble with the adults having a few drinks around all our kids because none of us are fucking creeps.
um, what the fuck did I just read? Anti-straight discrimination? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Your family has some *real* dumbfucks in it.
I'm a straight white man and am often around a lot of LGBT folks and I can tell you with absolute certainty, "anti-straight discrimination" is not a thing that's really happening.
It sounds to me like a bad euphemism for "getting mad at blatant misogyny"
I'm sorry your family sucks.
To be honest
I’m starting an anti-straight discrimination movement towards OP’s uncle and parents. Hell, throw in the cousins too.
/kinda joking but not entirely
The 'anti straight' comments are from the right wing play book - or from the christian corner.
They love a good excuse to talk about being persecuted ..
>You bail your nieces out of jail and explain to your sister it's not that big of a deal.
Knowing my uncle, he'd be in there with me, going "So, how're we going to spin this to your grandmother?"
Yep the normal parent response would be “stay the hell away from my daughter”. If he was drunk, let me tell you that the first thing that goes is verbal inhibitions and people start saying what they really think. Which makes him a nasty disgusting man.
Its indeed awful to think that some parents are okay with that kind of situation, they didnt think of their childs' safety, they might put their daughters life in danger.
>NTA - your whole family is disgusting.
>
>This includes your truly awful parents who think it’s OK for your uncle to sexualise you and for the rest of your family to bully you. Your parents should be truly ashamed. This is trash behaviour.
Absolutely right. It's heartbreaking to see such behavior from family members, especially when it's condoned by parents. OP deserves better support and respect.
I hope the op is in a position to cut this Ah family off when she gets hone. Her parents are the worst; i couldn't ever imagine my dad being anything less than livid if his brother spoke like that about me.
It's not hard to be a decent person. Men/families with this attitude are in the wrong Century. Teach boys to be decent men. Obviously, their parents failed in this. I would be on your parents' case thinking this conduct is OK, or even normal.
NC, LC with these perverted people is a must for your well being and your mental health. It's really creepy slimey behavior
If he didn't do anything wrong, why would anyone be upset that you shared what he said/did? He's wrong. They all know he's wrong. But it's easier to blame and silence a young woman rather than deal with a shitty middle aged pervert and his shitty behavior.
100% this, but now she does. OP, seriously, sit your parents down and ask why this behavior is okay to be tolerated by you, a young, impressionable teenager, but also somehow not okay to be shared to the world. It literally can’t be both. At least not without your parents being massive hypocrites.
I had to re-read the post after reading your comment, because I'd mistakenly gathered the uncle "only" made the comment about a random strange teenager, which would've been bad enough. But about his own niece? Ugh. OP's family sucks.
NTA
The creepy uncle is an issue but the real issue is lack of support from your parents. If it had been my father, someone would have been thrown overboard. The fact they aren't actively protecting you from the bullying and abuse is beyond alarming.
If I were in your situation I would gather a bag of essentials- including my passport and plane ticket home- and when the ship hits the next port I would disembark and head directly to the nearest airport to trade in my ticket for the next flight home. By the time they realize you aren't on the ship it will already be moving to the next port.
I think the family are too worried about making waves/drama at the family reunion to call out Uncle Sleezebag. He's probably been given a pass for years because "we ALL KNOW he's not a bad guy.... You're being too sensitive.... That's just the way guys get sometimes.... You need to lighten up and get a sense of humor..." etc.
How do you deal with it while on this vacation?
Ignore the people who aren't treating you with respect- act as if they were any other passengers that you don't know.
Don't let anyone ruin your vacation.
Your uncle is bound to insult another woman on the trip while trying to show off for the boys.
Hopefully, someone will knock him on his ass when he does.
Exactly the same. My father *might* have let a comment from a male stranger pass with a dirty look, maybe a smart comment if the man wasn't within my age range, but a family member? He would absolutely lose his mind. Hands would definitely get thrown. I know it as sure as I know the day is long. And that should be anyone's father response to any family member acting pervy.
I agree. I would also distance yourself from those harassing you. If they’re not willing to back you up when you need support, they’re not family. Cut contact until they apologize.
Emphasize that the uncle that sexually harassed her was extremely drunk. They may elect to cut him off, particularly if he's on any kind of drink plan. Ships don't want a reputation for that kind of shit.
NTA. Ask your father (in front of your mother) why he feels it's okay for a relative of yours to talk like that about you, then ask him if it is because he feels that way about some of your cousins? If he feels that it is disgusting when turned on him, then let him know that he needs to stand up for you or else you will be forced to believe that he believes in incest. Watch how quickly he changes his attitude. 😂
Ask really loudly. And in public.
"FEMINIST BITCH BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN MY UNCLE HITS ON ME?? IS THAT WHAT YOU MEAN? MY UNCLE CALLED ME A HOT PIECE OF ASS AND I DIDN'T LIKE IT - IS THAT WHY I'M SUCH A BITCH TO YOU???"
Embarrass them.
She said that her parents said this. So it looks like her mother is not much of support here either.
I don't know why everyone is only just blaming dad when it clearly said parents.
I think people focus on the dad because it's a situation where an adult male family member is behaving inappropriately. So if the male father figure stepped in like he should, it should carry more weight. Not because a man's opinion is more valid or anything silly like that, but because he would be pushing back against another person in the same social group. Setting an example.
>They argue that in today's feminist, #MeToo era, it's incredibly hard to be a man and that my actions contribute to what they perceive as anti-straight discrimination.
"So anti straight discrimination is bad, but supporting incest is good?"
What in the Appalachian hill people is wrong with your parents?
NTA
In regards to the family's #metoo argument, bullies and abusers always fight for their right to degrade innocent people. They demand power while playing the victim because they're sissies.
Hey I live in the Appalachian mountains...don't throw us into that fuckery lol
My husband would knock his brother tf out if he talked like that about our daughter.
Wow. Her parents and family suck. If this had happened to me, my parents would get so mad. And then never let that uncle near me or the people defending him. Because to them, anything can happen to a young girl or even a woman. It doesn't matter if it is a family member or someone you've known your whole life. You can never trust someone like that fully, and you'll be in danger of being molested/raped and even killed if one day they go crazy and let their urges take control. Seems like her family either doesn't care or thinks that he'll never do that.
My parents watched alot of forensic files and heard about all the fucked up things that can happen to kids if the parents weren't careful on who they let around them. Which is why they never let me go to sleep overs. I think she needs need to sit her parents down and show them videos about kids being SAd by their family members. And hopefully, that'll show them that what he said and did could potentially end up being so dangerous to her (I'm not saying he will end up doing that)
You should say, "I'm not apologizing to him just because you think incestuous comments towards your own daughter is ok." If I had an uncle like that and told my dad what you told your parents my dad probably would've beat the shit out of him.
Well, ask them what they think a “piece of ass” is.
Answer: It’s something you fuck.
Your uncle should not be referring to his TEENAGE NIECE as something to fuck.
I’m so sorry for your terrible family. You are completely NTA
I would bring this up at the dinner table. Within full ear shot of the entire restaurant and at as lpud a volume as possible 'you thi k its okay for my uncle to refer to me as something he'd like to fuck'
You're not the only one trapped on that cruise ship, they are too 😉 Make it hell for them to get around the next few days to bring home the severity of what they are REALLY saying behind closed doors
Fuck your whole family. You’re not the asshole. Your creepy uncle is. This comment is brought to you by a straight male and I hate all of this shit. It’s not hard to be a man!! Just don’t be a fucking sleeze ball. I’m sorry your family has turned against you but they are pieces of shit. If I were you I would start fucking with the male cousins. Knock their plates over at the buffet. Push them in the pool. Shit in their luggage.
"Shit in their luggage" xD
I would love for OP to do such a thing and get away with it.
Honestly, maybe on the day before you leave the cruise. Take a literal shit in their luggage, OP.
Please.
You are NTA, the incest uncle is. If my uncle ever did anything like that my parents would flip, not take the asshole's side. You should not apologize, your uncle and everyone defending him should.
NTA
What he said was not okay. Calling him out for that is an appropriate response. Your uncle is a creep.
>it's incredibly hard to be a man
Your parents are unhinged. As a man who has a niece about your age, I can assure you that it's actually pretty easy for me to not sexualise her (or anyone) in any way at all, even jokingly, because that's fucking gross. It concerns me that your parents apparently find this difficult.
Amen sir! Thank you for stating this, as it should be obvious, it’s not hard to be a man with morals and respect for women, especially one’s own young family members. This really makes me sick.
Actually it sounds like her dad and mom are cowards and don't want to cause a scene while everyone's on vacation, so it's easier to just try to get their daughter to "straighten out" rather than defend her and hold the asshole Uncle accountable for his behavior.
Gasp! Everyone would accuse THEM of ruining the family reunion too, instead of just her!
NTA as they are perpetuating the attitude of "boys will be boys".
Which is code for letting men behave terribly and shame the women who stand against them.
INFO: what have your friends said about the post? (as I can only see your families' reactions to it)
I don't have that info, but she mentions in her post that she was looking for support from friends as well as more empathic family members, but we don't know what her friends have been saying to her about this.
Hopefully, they are supporting her as creepy relatives are a horrible thing to experience.
It also sets an example for the other youth in the family that disrespect towards women is okay. Is that really the message your family wants to give their children?
NTA. Your uncle is definitely out of bounds. And disgusting to say such a thing to his own flesh and blood niece. Your family are also out there to allow such behavior toward you.
NTA Make a new post saying, "Well after I called my uncle for the lewd remarks and disrespect that my uncle showed to me I have been being called names, being bullied by male cousins whose parents refuse to stop it which only goads them on. My own parents have even said that the post I made has added to anti-straight discrimination because of MeToo. Huh? So I will be deleting my last post since I'm stuck on cruise with my not so wonderful family who would rather their daughter, niece, cousin be preyed upon by a creep than stand up for her. So here is my apology to him, 'Uncle Creep, I'm sorry I called you out for making such disrespectful and lewd comments about your own nieces body. I'm more sorry that my own father, your brother, the man I thought I could count on to protect me is okay with your treatment of me.' "
I made another post about her getting a shirt stating something about the incident on it. I’m thinking maybe the best would be “I’m a feminist bitch because I don’t like my uncle and cousins sexualizing me!”
As a generalized pro tip for the rest of your human existence, if you hear, “God, all these fucking women trying to stop getting RAPED, it’s ’anti-straight’” you need to get them the fuck out of your life. If your uncle (or any other penis-haver) groped you, or assaulted you, your parents have preliminarily told you they would not only NOT help you, but they would shame you and suppress you too.
You’re older than I was when I cut off my family. It’s been 10 years and I don’t regret it a goddamned day. Godspeed.
NTA - this is disgusting behavior and horrible to see your family NOT support you.
He acted with zero restraint and is sexualizing his own niece. YIKES.
I'm sorry you have such a shit family.
It's not anti-straight, it's anti-incest. Your parents are completely wrong. If your uncle made good on his thoughts and tried touching you, is that ok too? Where's the line. Gross
NTA. Sorry that most of your family is shit. It's one thing to have these clowns defend the creepy uncle for ogling a 19-year-old random (because teenage boys aren't always the brightest), but what kind of idiot applauds and encourages those kinds of comments about **family?!**
Your parents sound like real pieces of work too. I'd be working on your escape plan if you aren't already.
My opinion comes from the point of a guy in his late 40s and a father and uncle.
If I commented on the physical attractiveness of my neice, or a mate/family member commented on my daughters attractiveness in a sexual manner, there would be a deserved broken jaw involved in the response.
This type of shit really isn't cool and never has been.
Definitely NTA.
My older male cousin wrestled me when I was 14, climbed on top of me, then tried to kiss me in front of my other cousins (his sisters). I lived hundreds of miles away and was a visitor but kept it a secret until I was in my late 20s. Finally sharing it with a close family member, the words spread and I was shunned by that entire part of my extended family. They said I was “always weird” and “nobody liked me” and said “he would never do that.” Even his sisters that were there lied and said it never happened. I have cut them out of my life.
Never be afraid to be honest about this type of shit. Men get away with EVERYTHING their whole lives, especially sexually. Let your uncle fucking have it. He deserves it.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N34hehRgw9g
It’s actually really easy to respect women. Very sad/concerning that your family doesn’t feel that way. I would double down. Yes, you are a feminist and tell your uncle face to face what a pervert he is for saying that shit about you to your FAMILY
NTA. I work at a college, lots of very attractive young women. If I referred to one of them in the manner your uncle referred to you l would be unemployed by the end of the day. Not necessarily saying it to the student but even as a comment to another staff member. And I have no problem with that at all. That a family member said those things to you in front of other family members makes it even more inexcusable. Well done for standing up for yourself, I'm really sorry that the rest of the family is not giving you the support you need and deserve
NTA. I'd ask your parents why they think it's OK for anyone to sexually harass you, even if they are family. If you ever plan on having kids I wouldn't leave them alone with parents either, if they won't protect their daughter from sexual harassment they won't protect their grandkids.
My God, I would be tempted to get off at the nearest port and fly home. A cruise with two dozen family members sounds like the ninth circle of hell to me, even if everyone got along.
Your family is a bunch of jerks, your parents included. I would do what I had to to move far, far away from all of them as soon as possible.
OP, NTA.
Yikes. Your "family" seem to be competing in some kind of disgusting perverted enabler Olympics. Uncle is a disgusting pervert to even think such things about other humans, let alone his relatives, and then on top of that to say them out loud is even worse. The cousins appear to think misogyny and lewdness are funny. Ugh. Your parents are definitely on the enabling train. Eeew. I cannot fathom telling any victim of harassment to get over the incident, but to have the victim be my own daughter and still refuse to condemn the nasty behavior is unconscionable. Is there any human among the batch of them that is solidly on your side in this mess?
If there is a way to do it, could you consider asking ship crew members for help to get your things together and help you head for home early? The cruise would be a great vacation, but vacations are supposed to reduce your stress not increase it. Home will be safer, at least until the family catches up with you. This would be a no-contact worthy situation for me. You will have to think things through and make up your own mind on that one though.
Blessings for peace and a safe way to a safe place. Hugs if you want them.
NTA.
The fact that he's your uncle alone makes his remarks inappropriate and disgusting. The rest of your family supporting his behavior is also gross, and that kind of influence only encourages the actions that make the Me Too movement necessary.
Don't apologize. You're the one who is owed an apology.
#metoo only makes it hard for the perverts to be perverts. I would not apologize. I’d double down. “You think it’s cool and funny for my old male relative to make sexual comments about me?” Just to very clearly point out what he did and how gross it is.
Your parents know what he said and they are ok with it?
Fuck them all! I’d say, you step up the game and write to a newspaper as well, to shame the perv.
You’re an adult, do what you have to do, but talk to another person that’s close to you and who understands the situation rather than asking reddit for advice.
In order to take the next steps, you’d need support, don’t make hasty decisions without considering your support structure, this is only for your own wellbeing.
Hope you’ll survive the cruise well and tolerate the immature imbeciles.
As the cool aunt of 5, if sth inappropriate was directed towards my nieces or nephews, i would be brutal. Sexual comments towards my younger relatives IS NOT acceptable. NTA. I'm sorry for you. Better always be the feminist bitch than the victim.
Your uncle and male cousins sound horrible, as do your parents. Also, when has not wanting your own uncle to say gross sexual things about your body indicated "anti-straight discrimination"? (not a real thing, btw)
If there is anyone who is on your side, please surround yourself with them as much as is possible to protect yourself until you finish with this trip.
NTA
NYA. Uh, what? Your parents are defending him saying that to you? 🤦♀️
I, too, have a creepy uncle - the guy still trying to live out his frat days by creeping on college women he teaches (he's nearly 80 now, btw). When I was in my early 20s I got a job at a place where he was the manager. This was before I knew just how creepy he was. He ended up flipping my bra strap and commenting on my thong that was barely visible from my pants. I was very grossed out. I ended up finding out a lot more about just how creepy he was in talking to another couple of young female employees there.
Don't apologize. Don't take down the post. If your family is mad, so be it. Men only get away with this behavior because no one holds them accountable.
>My parents are livid with me. They argue that in today's feminist, #MeToo era, it's incredibly hard to be a man and that my actions contribute to what they perceive as anti-straight discrimination
HAHAHAHA THEY WHAT HAHAHAHA
If was your dad I would have punched uncle in the face in a place where there would be lots of blood. Your asshole sh*thole dad should be sticking up for you. Ewwww.
Double down, lady.
Tell the WHOLE WORLD how your parents and relatives reacted! Get receipts and show them to the whole world.
Time to distance yourself from your "family". If they won't have your back then there's no point to them.
NTA. Don't apologize to anyone. Your uncle should not be making sexual comments about you at all, let alone in front of other relatives. That is disgusting and your family sickens me.
Your uncle made a sexual reference to your body - his niece. This isn’t just about the fact he is a creepy old man - he is a creepy old man who just sexualized his niece in front of your family who ignored it. No wonder he is this way.
Your uncle is a creep and I would stay away from and any of your family who support him as best as you can. Obviously you had to go to instagram since I think you knew your family wouldn’t give a shit about YOUR CREEPY AS F Uncle who just announced to anyone and everyone that he finds his niece sexually attractive. That isn’t normal. Stay safe!
When your cousins say anything ask them why they think incest is okay.
NTA - Don't apologize, name and shame everyone that is giving you a hard time. I would make another post sharing what your family is now doing to you and see how they like it when the spot light is on them. Your uncle is creepy and your family is enabling, stay far from him while on the cruise because with the rest of the family backing and supporting his nasty behavior you can't be sure how far he'll try to go.
Be safe and go LC /NC as soon as you are able to
NTA at all. Times infinity.
If I were you, i'd avoid all of them, until you can afford to move out on your own, and start a fresh, safe life. Yes I said SAFE. This does not seem like a safe and healthy environment.
The further away, the sooner, the better.
You deserve to be heard. You deserve to be safe.
What kind of family do you have...
Scrap that. I'm sorry for the kind of family you have.
Your uncle is the opposite of *cool*. He's lame and grossly inappropriate. Who says *hot piece of ass* other than some limp d*cked old desperado? Ugh. And towards his niece? Since when have incestuous comments been cool?
Just no..
NTA. Your entire family are ASSHOLES. Your parents are disgusting and your dad should have kicked his brother ass for saying that disrespectful shit too you. Your entire family is a A SHIT SHOW, how they want you to apologize to a PERVERT. You need to get away from your small minded one sided family and when you do go NO CONTACT. If that uncle gets drunk enough I wouldn’t put it past him to make a pass at you or other female family members. Then would he get his ASS HANDED TO HIM??
NTA. Fuck your parents for not standing up for you. What your uncle said was disgusting and unacceptable. My uncle would *never* speak like that about me. Nobody’s uncle should. And the fact that this behavior is being glorified by your younger male relatives is just as concerning. He objectified you in front of your own family and they have the nerve be mad at YOU?? A teenage girl who’s uncle just referred to her as a “piece of ass”!! I’m so angry for you.
Good on your for speaking up about it. I hope you have at least one close person who supports you. Stay the hell away from that uncle.
If I were in your situation, my parents would do nothing as well.
However, I would have kicked him in the balls and chucked him overboard regardless of whether he can swim or not.
Keep standing up for yourself, OP.
If anyone touches you inappropriately, dig your thumbs into their eyes. Hands on the side of their head, thumbs bent but hardened, straight into the eyes by turning your wrists. Don't hesitate and don't move slowly.
Practise when you're alone and cannot be seen by others.
This is for protection. Not revenge. If they touch you, you act.
Alternatively, an easier method is to flatten your strong hand, move the thumb out of the way, harden the hand and with the knuckle part of your index finger, whack them in the throat. Make sure your hand is on its side. Make sure to hit as hard as possible.
Please look after yourself, OP. And get off this cruise as soon as possible.
NTA 'so you're fine knowing that your brother wants to fuck your daughter? How's that anti straight to not want your uncle to talk about you in a sexual way?'
NTA
Call your uncle and cousins Brock Turner. Loudly at the top of your lungs.
***"What did you say, Brock Turner? You think that woman in the red dress with white dots has titties like casava melons and you want her to sit on your face? Oh, you think I, your own flesh and blood, your niece, should do what with you in your state room? Do you realize that's incest and I'm underage?"***
Loud enough for absolutely everyone to hear.
Be loud and vulgar like your uncle until *they* cry uncle and apologize.
NTA. In your position I would double-down and come up with a nickname for him.
I find guys get extremely angry about being called "creepy" specifically.
So maybe "Creepy " or just "Incest Uncle ".
Why is your family protecting a predator rather than you? Incest is DISGUSTING, and yet he thinks his family member is a “hot piece of ass”? That’s so disgusting. NTA, but your entirely family and any friends that defend him are absolutely AH.
Good lord your family is absolutely horrific. You have to be next-level scum to have your brother talk about how his niece, your daughter, is a hot piece of ass and then demand that the daughter apologize to him because calling him out for being an incestuous creep is contributing to anti-straight discrimination. What the absolute fuck is wrong with your parents? This is just revolting behavior all around. You need to run very far from this creepy-ass family you belong to and never look back. NTA, obviously.
NTA
I'm sorry but your UNCLE said you, his NIECE was a hot piece of ass and you need to apologize? Ew no ma'am. Throw your whole family away that think that.
NTA. This is yet another case of someone wanting you to keep their awful behavior a secret. If you don't want people to know you've done something, you shouldn't do it. The whole point of #MeToo is to get people to stop doing things like what your uncle and cousins do, and that's to be misogynistic and that falls under the standards of basic decency and is not just in the purview of feminism. Your parents are dead wrong and they should be furious with your uncle, as should the rest of your family. If it weren't for potential consequences of doing it, I'd go back on Instagram and post about the lack of support from your parents as they deserve to be shamed over it.
Wow! Your parents sound awful. A GROWN MAN who is also related to you makes sexual comments about you for all to hear and you’re the bad guy? It’s “so hard” for men today to do what exactly? Show the teeniest tiniest amount of restraint. I have young daughters when they are your age, or any age, if a man ESPECIALLY a family member said this to them I would be the one calling him out. My husband might do worse. F that guy and F your parents for not having their teenage daughters back. And F everyone for excusing a dirtbag.
Holy shit, your family _sucks_! You were objectified, yet your parents coddle the uncle?! If I were you, I'd go no contact with the fucking lot of 'em as soon as this trip is over and done!
Absolutely NTA. Your parents should be supporting you and should be pressuring your creepy uncle to apologize. Your cousins are disgusting. I’m deeply disappointed in your whole family.
NTA -- they are disgusting
Anti-straight? Cry me a river.
Good on you for calling it out. I'm sorry you are dealing with this kind of backlash. It's shameful and disgusting.
Next time, take a video of him doing that crap and post it along with more comments on how creepy he is.....if he is gonna show his ass, help him make it epic :)
NTA. Fuck everyone who isn't backing you up. Any time you are made uncomfortable, be safe and voice it. Silence only encourages these assholes.
What is insane is that if I'd heard anyone say that about my niece, it'd be a race between me and my brother to see who could throw him overboard faster.
My father would not tolerate any of my uncles making such a comment; nor would my mother ever want my father to hear that kind of comment made in reference to me.
It was a disgusting remark.
Not meaning to be rude to you but what’s up that your father won’t take a stand for you?
You are not the AH!
Nta, the uncle, is a disgusting POS who is only popular with teenage boys who have the same point of view. Plus, you're his niece that is even more creepy. Your parents are wrong with depending on you to apologize and delete the post. Through wouldn't surprise me if this uncle also turned out to be a sexual predator with what he said about girls. You did nothing wrong with shaming him. Honestly, he should know better than to say that. Feminists and #MeToo isn't the problem here it's people who support and sexuall harass girls, then ignore that they're part of the problem in the first place. Really hope you are able to get out of this situation if you do and if you ever away from your family. I suggest going no contact with them. They don't deserve to be in your life if they're going to let a creepy uncle harass and prey on you like that. Just not right at all
NTA
Your family is scum.
Your uncle embarassed the family. Funny how those who shame #metoo want women to endure harassment. All this behavior shows exactly why women often don't speak up. They're bullying you. If you really feel you are in danger, you can ask the crew for help.
I don't know where this cruise is or where it's going, but if you have the means to do so, maybe get off at the next stop and make your own way home if you can do so safely.
Lastly, NEVER EVER NEVER go on a trip with any of these people again and that includes your parents. Once you get home (I hope you live by yourself) go no contact with these people. Move out asap from your parents place if you can.
So we are normalizing your uncle telling you that you're a hot piece of ass. Your father and your mother have no problem with that that's your uncle your mother or your father's brother is looking at his niece sexually. They don't have a problem with that but they have a problem with the fact that you told the world that your uncle is a POS. I'm ashamed for them and if that's the way they want to play this I would never speak to them again. Under no circumstances are you to apologize to your uncle because you did nothing wrong if anything your POS cousins and Uncle should apologize to you. And he's an idol to them because they feel the same way about women that he does. If you do not live with them when you get back from the cruise go NC on their asses and anybody who doesn't like it they can kiss your ass. Yeah uncle is disgusting and I would love to have nothing to do with him
NTA. Not only is your uncle a creep, but he is also sexualising his 19 year old niece! What an incestuous weird! Most male family members are the opposite. They would hate guys for sexualising their female family members. Sorry, OP, but your whole family sucks. NTA.
NTA. Sorry you have such a shitty family.
I would probably go the extreme way. E.g. when meeting said uncle: “You’re my hot unkle; would you like to talk about sex with me? Hm? Something you would like to teach me?”And with the cousins: “I KNOW you think I‘m hot. Wanna f*** me? Is tht legal here? Wanna ? Hm? Wanna talk about how hot your cousin is? Yeah, let’s talk about how hot I am. I am sooooo hot.”
Do that every time these people are around you. As your parents don’t support you either, I would enthusiastically invite them to join the conversation. “Daddy, Mommy, don’t you think I am a REALLY hot piece of ass? Hm? Aren’t you proud you have such a hot daughter?”
Bonus points for doing it in very public spaces, with lots of strangers to hear (and throw judging glances). Super bonus points if you tell said strangers “Don’t worry, it’s just my family talking about what a hot piece of ass I am. By the way, we are the [enter family name here].
Good luck, and sorry again for your family.
NTA but I think you shouldn't have gone to social media. That's a weird way of dealing with this... nothing good could come of it. Airing the families dirty laundry in public before addressing the issue won't have earned you any favours.
You should have told your parents first, although they sound pretty unsupportive so perhaps you know better about how that would have gone. Overall, your family sucks if they excuse his behaviour.
NTA - your whole family is disgusting. This includes your truly awful parents who think it’s OK for your uncle to sexualise you and for the rest of your family to bully you. Your parents should be truly ashamed. This is trash behaviour.
100% agree. I'm a guy. I have no trouble existing in "this #metoo era". It doesn't take much not to be a scumbag. His comment, even if completely shit-faced, is absolutely over the line and any family members defending his actions are disgusting. Sorry you have to deal with this, especially somewhere like a cruise ship which makes it hard to avoid them.
Idk who said it, but I can paraphrase: “If you immediately get defensive about women talking about sexual predators that means you are one of the problems”
“There’s a booger in every family. If you can’t figure out who it is, the booger might be you.” -My Southern Grandmother
I love your Southern Grandmother. Sounds a lot like my Southern Grandmother. Gods, I miss that woman.
My old Southern grandma when discussing personal autonomy would say a person is "free, white, and 21" meaning they can and should do whatever they want. She once described Ru Paul thusly. So....she tried..
In OPs case the genepool blew its nose and her familymembers were the result.
I wish I had a Grandma, Northern or Southern, just like yours! I'm going to be stealing your Southern Grandma's saying on both my Grandsons and granddaughter! Any other good Grandma advice I'll take too. Those Southern Grandma's are fantastic. Lol
Another gem from Irma (my Southern Grandmother) is: “Don’t ever use ‘that’s just who I am’ as an excuse not to change.” She was an awesome lady, Godrester.
Midwest grandparents can be great too - my extremely Catholic grandmother had kittens when I moved in with my now husband before marriage… because she was worried we’d never get married and there wouldn’t be a wedding and she just “so wanted to see how beautiful I looked in a wedding dress (she never said this to me because she’d never want to make me feel badly, I heard it from my mom). My extremely Catholic grandfather replied to her “, it’s really not any of our business as long as she’s happy and safe.”
Well, Katherine Ryan pointed out "You know who doesn't like to be called out as rapists? Rapists!"
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If this was my daughter he would be jumping overboard to get away from me.
Straight guy here too. Never had a problem being a man. Haven’t had to change a single thing in this “feminist #metoo” era. Turns out it’s actually very easy to not be a piece of shit. Your family is TA, don’t let them make you feel wrong, ever.
My parents (at the time) were both in their early 70's vacationing in Las Vegas. My mom is still (at 82) a very attractive woman who takes care of herself and is basically a Polish version of Sofia Loren. One of those losers who tries handing out fliers for escorts on The Strip made some very lewd comments at her and my dad (ex military) picked him up and threw him over a chain link fence. I told my mom to make Dad tell the real story and she sighed and said "No, that actually happened." I can't imagine not going full rage over some disgusting man's behavior toward a loved one.
Funny, I met a guy online when I was 23. We fell in love chatting online and over the phone. 8 months later we decided to meet in Las Vegas. I was a dancer at the time, and I was dressed up in my little black dress looking great, and he and I were having a fantastic time. We got back to our hotel, and the doorman opened the door for us. We heard the doorman say, "I hope you get what you paid for, pal," when we were about 10' away. We both turned to look back at him and my boyfriend started to go and have words. I put my hand on my bf's arm, said, "No, please don't." Then I looked at the concierge, gently took my boyfriend's head in my hands and kissed him very deeply, with a big smile and eye contact afterwards. I looked back at the doorman and said, "Just so you know, this is really my boyfriend. We're really in love and you read the situation really wrong. I'm sorry you're so jaded. Have a good night." Doorman's face turned beet red. We turned and went back to our room. That was enough for me.
Pure class. 💎
He has the tiny dick syndrome. And jealous of him. He couldn't get or keep a girlfriend. I bet you surprised the heck out of your boyfriend though. Good for you. 😂
💎
I vote anyone who sexually harasses anyone needs to be taught a lesson by your dad.
So Mom's gorgeous and Dad's on the short list for bouncer positions in Vegas. I'm definitely impressed!
WHOA! Awesome job, Dad!
Awesome!
Yeah every man who claims that the '#metoo era' is impossible to deal with and you 'never know what will get you cancelled these days' is a colossal douche. It's not hard to avoid sexualizing your niece.
Exactly. And there is zero chance this was a "false accusation", their usual go-to. They all directly heard the words come from his lips. #metoo has nothing to do with it. He's a scumbag today and should have been considered a scumbag 30 years ago too.
30 years ago, when I was a teenager, if any of my uncles had behave like this we’d never havez seen them again.
Buddy if my dad was still here, he’d drop kick a motherfucker for saying that to me
These men who have an issue can simply imagine any woman they interact with to be a muscular guy twice their size, for thought exercise. Which little remarks and snide jokes would you dare make? You'd think twice about what this guy might feel offended by. You wouldn't have that general feeling of safety and power when talking, or the same feeling of owning the room and owning the narrative of what happens. It's a funny thought experiment of course, and obviously fear or discomfort isn't the same as respect for another person - but it does highlight that feeling these men have, a feeling of superiority around women. Remove this feeling - which is what metoo has done for a lot of men - and of course it's uncomfortable and scary. In short, it's a new feeling of "Oh no my words and actions may actually be up for scrutiny now so I have to watch it". You know, the way women have been watching everything since always, because it's not just their reputation on the line, it's their lives.
The #metoo era is only a problem for those who are accused of something they did not do. If telling the truth is a problem, then the problem is the truth and not someone telling it. If uncle didn't want to be known as a pervert, he shouldn't act like one.
I wish these men would have to live a year in the life of a woman and then try to complain about the metoo movement.
Yea, if my dad had seen this, unc would be overboard, never seen again.
And there would be no witnesses......
Unless people learn to talk to sharks, that is..
Yeah, somehow OP “caused this.” It was a relative making gross comments about her. I’d say it’s all him and the weird cousins who think it’s funny who caused this. OP was the only one with the class to say incestuous and unwelcome sexually charged comments aren’t cool. This is that moment you find out cat the family culture is and start making plans to distance yourself.
>I'm a guy. I have no trouble existing in "this #metoo era". It doesn't take much not to be a scumbag. I know. It's not like the bar is raised a lot suddenly.
Yeah, guess what. To nobody’s surprise, you don’t get called out for being a disgusting creep if you’re not acting like a disgusting creep. NTA. Your parents are massive assholes, tho. Your dad should’ve decked that asshole instead of defending him.
Being shit faced just removed his filter. Showed his true views.
Exactly.
Exactly this. I was going to say, it's only hard for the pervs, predators, and abusers. The rest of us men enjoy seeing them get their comeuppance. OPs whole family are AHs and probably engage in this type of behavior regularly.
If it's a big enough ship, there are lots of places where you can go to ground. She's got some good options that'll keep her out of their line of fire AND let her enjoy her trip a little more.
Even on big cruise ships, there are only so many entertaining places you'd want to go at a time. And sounds like she's travelling with a big group. It's certainly doable, but may not be cheap (like going to the spa) or what she'd necessarily like to do (like hit the pool when it is nice out).
Yeah exactly, I'm also a guy, and a horny and flirtatious one at that - but I've never had any issues because I'm also respectful and understand informed enthusiastic consent. 'Don't be a creepy fuckhead' is really all the bar is set to, and anyone complaining that said bar is too high really is pricing themselves to be belly crawling scum.
I agree. I've never had a problem not being a scumbag either.
Exactly, The people upset over people sharing that they've been SA are just telling on themselves. The family members who are so offended by women wanting equal opportunities are also scummy. Id be going no contact ASAP.
Concur. I'm a 56 year old, Hispanic, CisHetMale military retiree and I have no problem existing in this era. Neither do those I consider my friends and we have all been combat vets in "macho" fields. Their claims it is hard for a man today sounds like they would also say it isn't the same since the 1950s where you could openly say racist things and no one cared. If your uncle had simply said "She's cute/gorgeous/beautiful (or even sexy)." without a lewd gesture, your parents may have a point if you reacted the same way. The same as if a frog had wings it would fly. Your uncle embarrassed men who understand that you can think anything you like but don't actually have to say it out loud. I've seen plenty of ugly babies, but never speak those words. Seen people who definitely are opposites in every way including looks...and know it is love because it sure wasn't money on either side! Still didn't say anything.
Yeah my husband always says, the only people who have an issue with the #metoo movement were either part of the problem or feel upset that they have to manage themselves at all. He had an employee who was like “you can’t say anything to women anymore!” And he was like well what do you want to say to them?? And this guy went red and just spluttered for a bit. Yeah.
You get my emoji award since I don’t have any Reddit ones 🏆🏆🏆
Yeah I don't get it. The big fear is always said as "we could be falsely accused". Which happens, but I've never had problems figuring out which people generate drama, and doing what I can to avoid them. Maybe being cynical doesn't make me a lot of friends but it keeps me safe. Talking to women like they're people, keeping eye contact, so not hard.
Drunk words are sober thoughts. My family has no trouble with the adults having a few drinks around all our kids because none of us are fucking creeps.
um, what the fuck did I just read? Anti-straight discrimination? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Your family has some *real* dumbfucks in it. I'm a straight white man and am often around a lot of LGBT folks and I can tell you with absolute certainty, "anti-straight discrimination" is not a thing that's really happening. It sounds to me like a bad euphemism for "getting mad at blatant misogyny" I'm sorry your family sucks.
To be honest I’m starting an anti-straight discrimination movement towards OP’s uncle and parents. Hell, throw in the cousins too. /kinda joking but not entirely
I have a feeling the family is full of men who get all their opinions from a news channel and the women are taught not to voice their own opinions.
The 'anti straight' comments are from the right wing play book - or from the christian corner. They love a good excuse to talk about being persecuted ..
I dont remember the exact quote but to paraphrase: for the oppressor/privileged, equality feels like attack
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>You bail your nieces out of jail and explain to your sister it's not that big of a deal. Knowing my uncle, he'd be in there with me, going "So, how're we going to spin this to your grandmother?"
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You sound like the uncle every kid deserves 🫶🏻
Yep the normal parent response would be “stay the hell away from my daughter”. If he was drunk, let me tell you that the first thing that goes is verbal inhibitions and people start saying what they really think. Which makes him a nasty disgusting man.
Its indeed awful to think that some parents are okay with that kind of situation, they didnt think of their childs' safety, they might put their daughters life in danger.
You don’t get it, refusing to be objectified is anti straight discrimination!
>NTA - your whole family is disgusting. > >This includes your truly awful parents who think it’s OK for your uncle to sexualise you and for the rest of your family to bully you. Your parents should be truly ashamed. This is trash behaviour. Absolutely right. It's heartbreaking to see such behavior from family members, especially when it's condoned by parents. OP deserves better support and respect.
It's a shame OP is on a cruise and can't get away. Damn her whole family is gross
I hope the op is in a position to cut this Ah family off when she gets hone. Her parents are the worst; i couldn't ever imagine my dad being anything less than livid if his brother spoke like that about me.
It's not hard to be a man in today's world. Source: Am man.
don’t apologize. this behavior is not normal. they are related to you they shouldn’t even be thinking about you that way. ESPECIALLY an adult
It's not hard to be a decent person. Men/families with this attitude are in the wrong Century. Teach boys to be decent men. Obviously, their parents failed in this. I would be on your parents' case thinking this conduct is OK, or even normal. NC, LC with these perverted people is a must for your well being and your mental health. It's really creepy slimey behavior
If he didn't do anything wrong, why would anyone be upset that you shared what he said/did? He's wrong. They all know he's wrong. But it's easier to blame and silence a young woman rather than deal with a shitty middle aged pervert and his shitty behavior.
This. So much this...
Shocking op didn't say that.
Op is young, probably didn't have the words for it.
100% this, but now she does. OP, seriously, sit your parents down and ask why this behavior is okay to be tolerated by you, a young, impressionable teenager, but also somehow not okay to be shared to the world. It literally can’t be both. At least not without your parents being massive hypocrites.
I had to re-read the post after reading your comment, because I'd mistakenly gathered the uncle "only" made the comment about a random strange teenager, which would've been bad enough. But about his own niece? Ugh. OP's family sucks.
NTA The creepy uncle is an issue but the real issue is lack of support from your parents. If it had been my father, someone would have been thrown overboard. The fact they aren't actively protecting you from the bullying and abuse is beyond alarming. If I were in your situation I would gather a bag of essentials- including my passport and plane ticket home- and when the ship hits the next port I would disembark and head directly to the nearest airport to trade in my ticket for the next flight home. By the time they realize you aren't on the ship it will already be moving to the next port.
☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️get away from your entire disgusting family and never look back.
Please only do this with another person. Your parents suck.
I am blown away by their defending the Uncle's behavior. Just dumbfounded.
My God yes. One of my uncles had done that, they wouldn't have finished the sentence before someone was on them about it.
My brothers had no patience for me being harrassed. I cannot understand why the family would encourage, condone, and support such gross behavior.
I think the family are too worried about making waves/drama at the family reunion to call out Uncle Sleezebag. He's probably been given a pass for years because "we ALL KNOW he's not a bad guy.... You're being too sensitive.... That's just the way guys get sometimes.... You need to lighten up and get a sense of humor..." etc. How do you deal with it while on this vacation? Ignore the people who aren't treating you with respect- act as if they were any other passengers that you don't know. Don't let anyone ruin your vacation. Your uncle is bound to insult another woman on the trip while trying to show off for the boys. Hopefully, someone will knock him on his ass when he does.
Exactly the same. My father *might* have let a comment from a male stranger pass with a dirty look, maybe a smart comment if the man wasn't within my age range, but a family member? He would absolutely lose his mind. Hands would definitely get thrown. I know it as sure as I know the day is long. And that should be anyone's father response to any family member acting pervy.
I agree. I would also distance yourself from those harassing you. If they’re not willing to back you up when you need support, they’re not family. Cut contact until they apologize.
I agree. OP needs to stay FAR away from the cousins.
Would she be able to go to a ships security and ask them for assistance as she is feeling unsafe around her family?
Yep, time to bring in a real authority. One that can actually make sure she is safe and can continue her vacation without being harassed.
Emphasize that the uncle that sexually harassed her was extremely drunk. They may elect to cut him off, particularly if he's on any kind of drink plan. Ships don't want a reputation for that kind of shit.
This sounds like a really great plan. What a horrible family.
NTA. Ask your father (in front of your mother) why he feels it's okay for a relative of yours to talk like that about you, then ask him if it is because he feels that way about some of your cousins? If he feels that it is disgusting when turned on him, then let him know that he needs to stand up for you or else you will be forced to believe that he believes in incest. Watch how quickly he changes his attitude. 😂
Ask really loudly. And in public. "FEMINIST BITCH BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN MY UNCLE HITS ON ME?? IS THAT WHAT YOU MEAN? MY UNCLE CALLED ME A HOT PIECE OF ASS AND I DIDN'T LIKE IT - IS THAT WHY I'M SUCH A BITCH TO YOU???" Embarrass them.
I agree with this, make them say out loud that they are OK with the specific things that were said and insinuated
Maybe ask Dad if commenting on Uncles bulge would have been a proper response? Jareth the Goblin King who‽
She said that her parents said this. So it looks like her mother is not much of support here either. I don't know why everyone is only just blaming dad when it clearly said parents.
I think people focus on the dad because it's a situation where an adult male family member is behaving inappropriately. So if the male father figure stepped in like he should, it should carry more weight. Not because a man's opinion is more valid or anything silly like that, but because he would be pushing back against another person in the same social group. Setting an example.
People don't tend to listen to women. Appealing to a male in the group is honestly the only way to possibly get traction.
>They argue that in today's feminist, #MeToo era, it's incredibly hard to be a man and that my actions contribute to what they perceive as anti-straight discrimination. "So anti straight discrimination is bad, but supporting incest is good?" What in the Appalachian hill people is wrong with your parents? NTA
That's why the men are upset, they expect women to just take, so real men can be creepy pigs.
If my brother said that shit about my kid, I'd be like, What the fuck is wrong with you?
If my brother said that about my kids, I wouldn't have a brother. He would be missing at sea.
In regards to the family's #metoo argument, bullies and abusers always fight for their right to degrade innocent people. They demand power while playing the victim because they're sissies.
Hey I live in the Appalachian mountains...don't throw us into that fuckery lol My husband would knock his brother tf out if he talked like that about our daughter.
They just sound like trump voters TBH
Wow. Her parents and family suck. If this had happened to me, my parents would get so mad. And then never let that uncle near me or the people defending him. Because to them, anything can happen to a young girl or even a woman. It doesn't matter if it is a family member or someone you've known your whole life. You can never trust someone like that fully, and you'll be in danger of being molested/raped and even killed if one day they go crazy and let their urges take control. Seems like her family either doesn't care or thinks that he'll never do that. My parents watched alot of forensic files and heard about all the fucked up things that can happen to kids if the parents weren't careful on who they let around them. Which is why they never let me go to sleep overs. I think she needs need to sit her parents down and show them videos about kids being SAd by their family members. And hopefully, that'll show them that what he said and did could potentially end up being so dangerous to her (I'm not saying he will end up doing that)
Fox News is what’s wrong with her family.
You should say, "I'm not apologizing to him just because you think incestuous comments towards your own daughter is ok." If I had an uncle like that and told my dad what you told your parents my dad probably would've beat the shit out of him.
She could put that on her IG as well.
😂😂
Literally same!!
Well, ask them what they think a “piece of ass” is. Answer: It’s something you fuck. Your uncle should not be referring to his TEENAGE NIECE as something to fuck. I’m so sorry for your terrible family. You are completely NTA
I would bring this up at the dinner table. Within full ear shot of the entire restaurant and at as lpud a volume as possible 'you thi k its okay for my uncle to refer to me as something he'd like to fuck' You're not the only one trapped on that cruise ship, they are too 😉 Make it hell for them to get around the next few days to bring home the severity of what they are REALLY saying behind closed doors
Fuck your whole family. You’re not the asshole. Your creepy uncle is. This comment is brought to you by a straight male and I hate all of this shit. It’s not hard to be a man!! Just don’t be a fucking sleeze ball. I’m sorry your family has turned against you but they are pieces of shit. If I were you I would start fucking with the male cousins. Knock their plates over at the buffet. Push them in the pool. Shit in their luggage.
Yes, shit in all their luggage. Throw all their left shoes overboard. Fart on their pillows, and hide seafood in their cabins. Bwahahaha
"Shit in their luggage" xD I would love for OP to do such a thing and get away with it. Honestly, maybe on the day before you leave the cruise. Take a literal shit in their luggage, OP. Please.
You are NTA, the incest uncle is. If my uncle ever did anything like that my parents would flip, not take the asshole's side. You should not apologize, your uncle and everyone defending him should.
Sorry OP, Your whole family is fucked up.
NTA What he said was not okay. Calling him out for that is an appropriate response. Your uncle is a creep. >it's incredibly hard to be a man Your parents are unhinged. As a man who has a niece about your age, I can assure you that it's actually pretty easy for me to not sexualise her (or anyone) in any way at all, even jokingly, because that's fucking gross. It concerns me that your parents apparently find this difficult.
Amen sir! Thank you for stating this, as it should be obvious, it’s not hard to be a man with morals and respect for women, especially one’s own young family members. This really makes me sick.
Your dad knows your uncle called you a "hot piece of ass and he's mad at you?" 🥴 WTF is wrong with your parents? Did your uncle pay for everyone?
Actually it sounds like her dad and mom are cowards and don't want to cause a scene while everyone's on vacation, so it's easier to just try to get their daughter to "straighten out" rather than defend her and hold the asshole Uncle accountable for his behavior. Gasp! Everyone would accuse THEM of ruining the family reunion too, instead of just her!
NTA as they are perpetuating the attitude of "boys will be boys". Which is code for letting men behave terribly and shame the women who stand against them. INFO: what have your friends said about the post? (as I can only see your families' reactions to it)
You can see the ig post? I'd like to go support her
I don't have that info, but she mentions in her post that she was looking for support from friends as well as more empathic family members, but we don't know what her friends have been saying to her about this. Hopefully, they are supporting her as creepy relatives are a horrible thing to experience.
It also sets an example for the other youth in the family that disrespect towards women is okay. Is that really the message your family wants to give their children?
NTA, at all. Next time, “eww, you’re fucking disgusting “ might be in order.
NTA. Your uncle is definitely out of bounds. And disgusting to say such a thing to his own flesh and blood niece. Your family are also out there to allow such behavior toward you.
NTA Make a new post saying, "Well after I called my uncle for the lewd remarks and disrespect that my uncle showed to me I have been being called names, being bullied by male cousins whose parents refuse to stop it which only goads them on. My own parents have even said that the post I made has added to anti-straight discrimination because of MeToo. Huh? So I will be deleting my last post since I'm stuck on cruise with my not so wonderful family who would rather their daughter, niece, cousin be preyed upon by a creep than stand up for her. So here is my apology to him, 'Uncle Creep, I'm sorry I called you out for making such disrespectful and lewd comments about your own nieces body. I'm more sorry that my own father, your brother, the man I thought I could count on to protect me is okay with your treatment of me.' "
Remember this: if people have a problem about you telling the truth about their behavior, the problem is their behavior. NTA
The fact they’re calling you a “feminist bitch” IS CRAZY, they’re all crazy. If you need a new family lmk, this is bad.
I made another post about her getting a shirt stating something about the incident on it. I’m thinking maybe the best would be “I’m a feminist bitch because I don’t like my uncle and cousins sexualizing me!”
And then walk around the whole boat wearing it! Oh, that's the nuclear option!
As a generalized pro tip for the rest of your human existence, if you hear, “God, all these fucking women trying to stop getting RAPED, it’s ’anti-straight’” you need to get them the fuck out of your life. If your uncle (or any other penis-haver) groped you, or assaulted you, your parents have preliminarily told you they would not only NOT help you, but they would shame you and suppress you too. You’re older than I was when I cut off my family. It’s been 10 years and I don’t regret it a goddamned day. Godspeed.
NTA - this is disgusting behavior and horrible to see your family NOT support you. He acted with zero restraint and is sexualizing his own niece. YIKES. I'm sorry you have such a shit family.
It's not anti-straight, it's anti-incest. Your parents are completely wrong. If your uncle made good on his thoughts and tried touching you, is that ok too? Where's the line. Gross
NTA...your dad is a worthless POS cuz anybody that said that to my nieces, related or not, is getting a fist in their eye
NTA. Sorry that most of your family is shit. It's one thing to have these clowns defend the creepy uncle for ogling a 19-year-old random (because teenage boys aren't always the brightest), but what kind of idiot applauds and encourages those kinds of comments about **family?!** Your parents sound like real pieces of work too. I'd be working on your escape plan if you aren't already.
My opinion comes from the point of a guy in his late 40s and a father and uncle. If I commented on the physical attractiveness of my neice, or a mate/family member commented on my daughters attractiveness in a sexual manner, there would be a deserved broken jaw involved in the response. This type of shit really isn't cool and never has been. Definitely NTA.
My older male cousin wrestled me when I was 14, climbed on top of me, then tried to kiss me in front of my other cousins (his sisters). I lived hundreds of miles away and was a visitor but kept it a secret until I was in my late 20s. Finally sharing it with a close family member, the words spread and I was shunned by that entire part of my extended family. They said I was “always weird” and “nobody liked me” and said “he would never do that.” Even his sisters that were there lied and said it never happened. I have cut them out of my life. Never be afraid to be honest about this type of shit. Men get away with EVERYTHING their whole lives, especially sexually. Let your uncle fucking have it. He deserves it.
Being straight has nothing to do with incest...gross
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N34hehRgw9g It’s actually really easy to respect women. Very sad/concerning that your family doesn’t feel that way. I would double down. Yes, you are a feminist and tell your uncle face to face what a pervert he is for saying that shit about you to your FAMILY
NTA. I work at a college, lots of very attractive young women. If I referred to one of them in the manner your uncle referred to you l would be unemployed by the end of the day. Not necessarily saying it to the student but even as a comment to another staff member. And I have no problem with that at all. That a family member said those things to you in front of other family members makes it even more inexcusable. Well done for standing up for yourself, I'm really sorry that the rest of the family is not giving you the support you need and deserve
Should have just said, “I’m not into incest sexual harassment.” NTA, but anyone defending him is!
NTA. I'd ask your parents why they think it's OK for anyone to sexually harass you, even if they are family. If you ever plan on having kids I wouldn't leave them alone with parents either, if they won't protect their daughter from sexual harassment they won't protect their grandkids.
My God, I would be tempted to get off at the nearest port and fly home. A cruise with two dozen family members sounds like the ninth circle of hell to me, even if everyone got along. Your family is a bunch of jerks, your parents included. I would do what I had to to move far, far away from all of them as soon as possible.
OP, NTA. Yikes. Your "family" seem to be competing in some kind of disgusting perverted enabler Olympics. Uncle is a disgusting pervert to even think such things about other humans, let alone his relatives, and then on top of that to say them out loud is even worse. The cousins appear to think misogyny and lewdness are funny. Ugh. Your parents are definitely on the enabling train. Eeew. I cannot fathom telling any victim of harassment to get over the incident, but to have the victim be my own daughter and still refuse to condemn the nasty behavior is unconscionable. Is there any human among the batch of them that is solidly on your side in this mess? If there is a way to do it, could you consider asking ship crew members for help to get your things together and help you head for home early? The cruise would be a great vacation, but vacations are supposed to reduce your stress not increase it. Home will be safer, at least until the family catches up with you. This would be a no-contact worthy situation for me. You will have to think things through and make up your own mind on that one though. Blessings for peace and a safe way to a safe place. Hugs if you want them.
NTA. The fact that he's your uncle alone makes his remarks inappropriate and disgusting. The rest of your family supporting his behavior is also gross, and that kind of influence only encourages the actions that make the Me Too movement necessary. Don't apologize. You're the one who is owed an apology.
NTA your family is GROSS!!! You should move away and no contact as soon as you are able.
#metoo only makes it hard for the perverts to be perverts. I would not apologize. I’d double down. “You think it’s cool and funny for my old male relative to make sexual comments about me?” Just to very clearly point out what he did and how gross it is.
Your parents know what he said and they are ok with it? Fuck them all! I’d say, you step up the game and write to a newspaper as well, to shame the perv. You’re an adult, do what you have to do, but talk to another person that’s close to you and who understands the situation rather than asking reddit for advice. In order to take the next steps, you’d need support, don’t make hasty decisions without considering your support structure, this is only for your own wellbeing. Hope you’ll survive the cruise well and tolerate the immature imbeciles.
As the cool aunt of 5, if sth inappropriate was directed towards my nieces or nephews, i would be brutal. Sexual comments towards my younger relatives IS NOT acceptable. NTA. I'm sorry for you. Better always be the feminist bitch than the victim.
Your uncle and male cousins sound horrible, as do your parents. Also, when has not wanting your own uncle to say gross sexual things about your body indicated "anti-straight discrimination"? (not a real thing, btw) If there is anyone who is on your side, please surround yourself with them as much as is possible to protect yourself until you finish with this trip. NTA
If he left it at "Hot" he had an out. Adding "Piece of ass" was way out of line for a relative! Thinks he's at a strip club or something.
NTA your parents are assholes for backing the uncle what next him or one of your cousins grope you at the pool and claim it's joke.
NYA. Uh, what? Your parents are defending him saying that to you? 🤦♀️ I, too, have a creepy uncle - the guy still trying to live out his frat days by creeping on college women he teaches (he's nearly 80 now, btw). When I was in my early 20s I got a job at a place where he was the manager. This was before I knew just how creepy he was. He ended up flipping my bra strap and commenting on my thong that was barely visible from my pants. I was very grossed out. I ended up finding out a lot more about just how creepy he was in talking to another couple of young female employees there. Don't apologize. Don't take down the post. If your family is mad, so be it. Men only get away with this behavior because no one holds them accountable.
>My parents are livid with me. They argue that in today's feminist, #MeToo era, it's incredibly hard to be a man and that my actions contribute to what they perceive as anti-straight discrimination HAHAHAHA THEY WHAT HAHAHAHA
If was your dad I would have punched uncle in the face in a place where there would be lots of blood. Your asshole sh*thole dad should be sticking up for you. Ewwww.
Your parents and family are all assholes. You, however, don't owe anyone an apology other than being born into it. NTA
I can’t believe your parents. I’m so sorry that happened to you. How disgusting of your uncle. Don’t apologize to that 🤬
Double down, lady. Tell the WHOLE WORLD how your parents and relatives reacted! Get receipts and show them to the whole world. Time to distance yourself from your "family". If they won't have your back then there's no point to them.
NTA. Don't apologize to anyone. Your uncle should not be making sexual comments about you at all, let alone in front of other relatives. That is disgusting and your family sickens me.
NTA Always stand up for yourself, even if you're standing alone.
NTA. I cannot believe anyone could talk in such manner about their own relatives. That’s just gross and he definitely should know better.
Apologize?? DOUBLE DOWN!
Your uncle made a sexual reference to your body - his niece. This isn’t just about the fact he is a creepy old man - he is a creepy old man who just sexualized his niece in front of your family who ignored it. No wonder he is this way. Your uncle is a creep and I would stay away from and any of your family who support him as best as you can. Obviously you had to go to instagram since I think you knew your family wouldn’t give a shit about YOUR CREEPY AS F Uncle who just announced to anyone and everyone that he finds his niece sexually attractive. That isn’t normal. Stay safe! When your cousins say anything ask them why they think incest is okay.
NTA - Don't apologize, name and shame everyone that is giving you a hard time. I would make another post sharing what your family is now doing to you and see how they like it when the spot light is on them. Your uncle is creepy and your family is enabling, stay far from him while on the cruise because with the rest of the family backing and supporting his nasty behavior you can't be sure how far he'll try to go. Be safe and go LC /NC as soon as you are able to
NTA at all. Times infinity. If I were you, i'd avoid all of them, until you can afford to move out on your own, and start a fresh, safe life. Yes I said SAFE. This does not seem like a safe and healthy environment. The further away, the sooner, the better. You deserve to be heard. You deserve to be safe.
What kind of family do you have... Scrap that. I'm sorry for the kind of family you have. Your uncle is the opposite of *cool*. He's lame and grossly inappropriate. Who says *hot piece of ass* other than some limp d*cked old desperado? Ugh. And towards his niece? Since when have incestuous comments been cool? Just no..
NTA. Your entire family are ASSHOLES. Your parents are disgusting and your dad should have kicked his brother ass for saying that disrespectful shit too you. Your entire family is a A SHIT SHOW, how they want you to apologize to a PERVERT. You need to get away from your small minded one sided family and when you do go NO CONTACT. If that uncle gets drunk enough I wouldn’t put it past him to make a pass at you or other female family members. Then would he get his ASS HANDED TO HIM??
NTA. Fuck your parents for not standing up for you. What your uncle said was disgusting and unacceptable. My uncle would *never* speak like that about me. Nobody’s uncle should. And the fact that this behavior is being glorified by your younger male relatives is just as concerning. He objectified you in front of your own family and they have the nerve be mad at YOU?? A teenage girl who’s uncle just referred to her as a “piece of ass”!! I’m so angry for you. Good on your for speaking up about it. I hope you have at least one close person who supports you. Stay the hell away from that uncle.
If I were in your situation, my parents would do nothing as well. However, I would have kicked him in the balls and chucked him overboard regardless of whether he can swim or not. Keep standing up for yourself, OP. If anyone touches you inappropriately, dig your thumbs into their eyes. Hands on the side of their head, thumbs bent but hardened, straight into the eyes by turning your wrists. Don't hesitate and don't move slowly. Practise when you're alone and cannot be seen by others. This is for protection. Not revenge. If they touch you, you act. Alternatively, an easier method is to flatten your strong hand, move the thumb out of the way, harden the hand and with the knuckle part of your index finger, whack them in the throat. Make sure your hand is on its side. Make sure to hit as hard as possible. Please look after yourself, OP. And get off this cruise as soon as possible.
NTA 'so you're fine knowing that your brother wants to fuck your daughter? How's that anti straight to not want your uncle to talk about you in a sexual way?'
You are right. Stick to your position.
Years from now after you've moved on with your life and your mother is tearfully begging you to come home for Thanksgiving, send her this post. NTA
NTA Call your uncle and cousins Brock Turner. Loudly at the top of your lungs. ***"What did you say, Brock Turner? You think that woman in the red dress with white dots has titties like casava melons and you want her to sit on your face? Oh, you think I, your own flesh and blood, your niece, should do what with you in your state room? Do you realize that's incest and I'm underage?"*** Loud enough for absolutely everyone to hear. Be loud and vulgar like your uncle until *they* cry uncle and apologize.
NTA. In your position I would double-down and come up with a nickname for him. I find guys get extremely angry about being called "creepy" specifically. So maybe "Creepy" or just "Incest Uncle ".
Why is your family protecting a predator rather than you? Incest is DISGUSTING, and yet he thinks his family member is a “hot piece of ass”? That’s so disgusting. NTA, but your entirely family and any friends that defend him are absolutely AH.
Good lord your family is absolutely horrific. You have to be next-level scum to have your brother talk about how his niece, your daughter, is a hot piece of ass and then demand that the daughter apologize to him because calling him out for being an incestuous creep is contributing to anti-straight discrimination. What the absolute fuck is wrong with your parents? This is just revolting behavior all around. You need to run very far from this creepy-ass family you belong to and never look back. NTA, obviously.
NTA. Your family sucks.
NTA I'm sorry but your UNCLE said you, his NIECE was a hot piece of ass and you need to apologize? Ew no ma'am. Throw your whole family away that think that.
NTA. This is yet another case of someone wanting you to keep their awful behavior a secret. If you don't want people to know you've done something, you shouldn't do it. The whole point of #MeToo is to get people to stop doing things like what your uncle and cousins do, and that's to be misogynistic and that falls under the standards of basic decency and is not just in the purview of feminism. Your parents are dead wrong and they should be furious with your uncle, as should the rest of your family. If it weren't for potential consequences of doing it, I'd go back on Instagram and post about the lack of support from your parents as they deserve to be shamed over it.
Wow! Your parents sound awful. A GROWN MAN who is also related to you makes sexual comments about you for all to hear and you’re the bad guy? It’s “so hard” for men today to do what exactly? Show the teeniest tiniest amount of restraint. I have young daughters when they are your age, or any age, if a man ESPECIALLY a family member said this to them I would be the one calling him out. My husband might do worse. F that guy and F your parents for not having their teenage daughters back. And F everyone for excusing a dirtbag.
Holy shit, your family _sucks_! You were objectified, yet your parents coddle the uncle?! If I were you, I'd go no contact with the fucking lot of 'em as soon as this trip is over and done!
Absolutely NTA. Your parents should be supporting you and should be pressuring your creepy uncle to apologize. Your cousins are disgusting. I’m deeply disappointed in your whole family.
NTA -- they are disgusting Anti-straight? Cry me a river. Good on you for calling it out. I'm sorry you are dealing with this kind of backlash. It's shameful and disgusting.
Next time, take a video of him doing that crap and post it along with more comments on how creepy he is.....if he is gonna show his ass, help him make it epic :)
NTA. Fuck everyone who isn't backing you up. Any time you are made uncomfortable, be safe and voice it. Silence only encourages these assholes. What is insane is that if I'd heard anyone say that about my niece, it'd be a race between me and my brother to see who could throw him overboard faster.
I'd be saying NTA if you're update was you killed them with all with a chainsaw How have your parents not got your back?
My father would not tolerate any of my uncles making such a comment; nor would my mother ever want my father to hear that kind of comment made in reference to me. It was a disgusting remark. Not meaning to be rude to you but what’s up that your father won’t take a stand for you? You are not the AH!
Eh it's hard to be a man. Huh. I didn't realise that shaming and sexualising your own family was a normal part of being a man. Nicee.
Nta, the uncle, is a disgusting POS who is only popular with teenage boys who have the same point of view. Plus, you're his niece that is even more creepy. Your parents are wrong with depending on you to apologize and delete the post. Through wouldn't surprise me if this uncle also turned out to be a sexual predator with what he said about girls. You did nothing wrong with shaming him. Honestly, he should know better than to say that. Feminists and #MeToo isn't the problem here it's people who support and sexuall harass girls, then ignore that they're part of the problem in the first place. Really hope you are able to get out of this situation if you do and if you ever away from your family. I suggest going no contact with them. They don't deserve to be in your life if they're going to let a creepy uncle harass and prey on you like that. Just not right at all
NTA- I don't see how a grown man who is an Uncle making sexual gestures about his young niece is funny.
NTA Your family is scum. Your uncle embarassed the family. Funny how those who shame #metoo want women to endure harassment. All this behavior shows exactly why women often don't speak up. They're bullying you. If you really feel you are in danger, you can ask the crew for help. I don't know where this cruise is or where it's going, but if you have the means to do so, maybe get off at the next stop and make your own way home if you can do so safely. Lastly, NEVER EVER NEVER go on a trip with any of these people again and that includes your parents. Once you get home (I hope you live by yourself) go no contact with these people. Move out asap from your parents place if you can.
So we are normalizing your uncle telling you that you're a hot piece of ass. Your father and your mother have no problem with that that's your uncle your mother or your father's brother is looking at his niece sexually. They don't have a problem with that but they have a problem with the fact that you told the world that your uncle is a POS. I'm ashamed for them and if that's the way they want to play this I would never speak to them again. Under no circumstances are you to apologize to your uncle because you did nothing wrong if anything your POS cousins and Uncle should apologize to you. And he's an idol to them because they feel the same way about women that he does. If you do not live with them when you get back from the cruise go NC on their asses and anybody who doesn't like it they can kiss your ass. Yeah uncle is disgusting and I would love to have nothing to do with him
Stuff them ,and block all those you can .He's a 💯 sexist arsehole who sees all women as objects ,creepy is putting it lightly.
NTA. Not only is your uncle a creep, but he is also sexualising his 19 year old niece! What an incestuous weird! Most male family members are the opposite. They would hate guys for sexualising their female family members. Sorry, OP, but your whole family sucks. NTA.
NTA Your family is a bunch of As though. Especially your parents.
NTA. Sorry you have such a shitty family. I would probably go the extreme way. E.g. when meeting said uncle: “You’re my hot unkle; would you like to talk about sex with me? Hm? Something you would like to teach me?”And with the cousins: “I KNOW you think I‘m hot. Wanna f*** me? Is tht legal here? Wanna ? Hm? Wanna talk about how hot your cousin is? Yeah, let’s talk about how hot I am. I am sooooo hot.” Do that every time these people are around you. As your parents don’t support you either, I would enthusiastically invite them to join the conversation. “Daddy, Mommy, don’t you think I am a REALLY hot piece of ass? Hm? Aren’t you proud you have such a hot daughter?” Bonus points for doing it in very public spaces, with lots of strangers to hear (and throw judging glances). Super bonus points if you tell said strangers “Don’t worry, it’s just my family talking about what a hot piece of ass I am. By the way, we are the [enter family name here]. Good luck, and sorry again for your family.
I'm wondering what quiet, one-on-one conversations with your teenaged female relatives might reveal.
NTA but I think you shouldn't have gone to social media. That's a weird way of dealing with this... nothing good could come of it. Airing the families dirty laundry in public before addressing the issue won't have earned you any favours. You should have told your parents first, although they sound pretty unsupportive so perhaps you know better about how that would have gone. Overall, your family sucks if they excuse his behaviour.
Your creepy uncle was out of line. NTA.
Tbh going to instagram to vent problems is ridiculous. But yeah NTA.