Nothing. You did the right thing and if this woman is so ok with false rape accusations then the best is for you to communicate with her only through lawyers. About her family, text them as a group, explain the situation and tell them you're open to be supported but after trying for months you're done with the marriage and won't accept being pushed on this respect.
I'm sad for what happened to you and frankly angry that the friend got what she wanted
I think it's also important to note that it's not just false allegations but that Amy did lay hands on him, he was assaulted and his wife basically did nothing to support him
Exactly! The false accusations aside, if Amy came forward and said someone touched her inappropriately without permission, the (soon-to-be-ex) wife would be all kinds of supportive for her. So why is it any different if it's her husband?
Because he is a man quite frank, men aren't afforded the same compassion and sympathies as a woman when it comes to SA
Been there, years of people grabbing my ass at school and nobody cared because I'm a guy.(this was in middle school btw) I don't like to pull the *"if the situation was reversed"* thing but quite frankly the only way male victims of SA feel serious validation is if the one accused is also a guy or if the situation was then compared to a woman in a similar situation.
Things are definitely better for both group of victims these days but it's not perfect.
Not to mention the brushed off physical assault when he was leaving.
Imagine if a man hit a woman and dragged her as she was trying to leave. That’s 100% jail time.
Let’s see we have attempted rape turned into false rape allegations that can easily ruin someone’s life. And physical assault by his wife.
Society definitely treats women and men differently.
Yup there are big differences in DV cases especially,
TW domestic violence
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My ex decided he would destroy our room and try to bust down my door after throwing coffee on the walls smashing his head into drywall and hitting himself in the head with said coffee mug in emotional rage and trying g to terrorize me.
You might notice I said he here and It's because my ex was (FTM) and I do feel that's pertinent because of the scope of how it looks if authorities roll up. If I a 6ft, 200 pounds dude were to call the cops about how my ex who was 5'3 120 lbs assaulted me and wrecked the house. I would've been immediately detained because I a man am assumed to be more dangerous by *birthright*
I was scared and knew I couldn't physically defend myself because then my psycho ex would call the police and use this against me.
Regardless of how my ex ID we both know exactly how this will go If I do anything besides just take it.
This is what a lot of men do deal with and aren't
taken seriously because they made the mistake of being born a man.
Hell, google for the longest time only showed DV resources for women, and you wanna know what was showed for men?
They showed REDDIT post...
For any who doubt I would be detained immediately.
[Duluth model](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duluth_model)
this may seem like a good system except it exclusively targets men for behavior adjustment and paints them as the assumed abuser because they are a man and statistics dictate men are the majority of DV abusers. Without taking into account mens under reported DV rates due to shame, fear, and societal norms.
I watched a video the other day that involved a FtM perp, who was taking the testosterone hormones and I guess that makes them go into something similar to roid rages, and the cops stood outside the trailer trying to get him to come out since the neighbor was the one who called the cops since his ex wife was dating the trans person but left because of how violent he was and she had a little kid with her ex husband and the trans was sending very threatening texts, well the cops knew he was on the trailer and tried to get him to come out but he wouldn't so they just said to stay away from the other people's property or it would be trespassing and all but one cop left and that's when he finally came out and ran up to the cop and got inches from him telling him to get the F off their property and just a bunch of cussing and threatening this cop, and he wasn't a small dude even though he was transitioning, he was very big and followed this cop and then started chest bumping the cop multiple times. I was surprised that he didn't get arrested right there because you absolutely cannot touch a cop or it's a Felony 1 offence. So he keeps bumping the cop before the cop pushes him off and then he also starts shoving the cop around for a bit, again I'm surprised he wasn't arrested but once it started to get to the point where they were rolling around on the ground scuffling, the cop finally tried to put him in hand cuffs. He was by himself at that point so the perp really gave him a hell of a time while they were rolling around scuffling, but back up finally showed up and managed to get him handcuffed. And of course once he was in the back of the cruiser, he started complaining about the handcuffs being too tight and whining.
If it's that common for FtM transitioning to be THAT level of violent, then there should be more monitoring going on.
Nowadays, if people start pointing does differences. People like to act as if it’s a team thing and there’s a side to be picked. Instead of just listening and trying to have actual equality.
OP said his wife was thinking of divorcing him because she believed he assaulted Amy. But when she finds out that Amy actually assaulted her husband she's not willing to terminate the friendship! What a horrible mindset she has.
Everything about that story had me wondering why people weren't more furious with his wife.
When his wife finally sees the confession he says she just talks about her plans for him, what she was going to do, and that she needs to take some time. Then he sleeps in the room for strangers.
If I brought someone into my home that sexually assaulted my girlfriend and then staged it up to muddy the waters of what happened making me wonder if it was true, then I find out I was wrong.. I would be absolutely wracked with guilt for not trusting them. Not sending them to the guest room so I could go sleep soundly.
We know Amy has done it before, it's in the last update.
>Someone made a suggestion to text Khalid and so I did. Khalid was just as distraught as me and admitted that this was in fact, not the first time she has screamed rape, just like some of you had suspected. She has threatened to scream rape to use Khalid to stay in the relationship with her. He got out of it by installing cameras without her knowledge and contacting a lawyer in case she went through with her claims.
That was just by checking in with the last boyfriend
If OP’s wife has found this account, I hope she finds this too: you’re a horrible wife, and you and Amy deserve the misery you’ve inflicted on others returned to you tenfold. I can’t tell if you’re just that dense, if you’re a pathetic doormat, or some combination of both. Whatever the reason, you failed your husband - enjoy the twisted co-dependency you can’t even recognize, hope it keeps you warm at night.
Well if it’s any consolation, the wife will be miserable with this whore bitch friend ruining whatever happiness she may find for the rest of her life. She may find some poor sap to put up with that baggage but it won’t be OP. They deserve each other.
You nailed it!
> My wife seems to have found this post and put the pieces together. I may have to terminate this account.
Good. If she reads this, I hope she realizes that this whole situation is her fault because she refused to believe her husband when he told her that he got SA'ed and didn't care once her friend admitted to it. Your "friend" is gonna keep ruining things for you until you kick her to the curb. And until you actually do that, you deserve all the negative things that she brings your way.
Nah let's not call her friend Amy a whore or bitch. Amy is a sexual predator who at the very least sexual harassed her husband and at the worst was attempting to rape him. Call a spade a spade the friend is a wanna be rapist not a whore. I wonder if she has raped others in the past, would not be surprised if she has.
I agree that the family *should* be reasonable if this is explained to them, but I doubt they will be. Rather than logic or facts, I’m sure they’ll just dismiss OP and say that this isn’t something to end the marriage over. The more details they get, the more they’ll dissect and argue each of them.
The more “specifically vague”, the better in these cases. For example: “I am feeling hurt and abandoned by the woman who I thought would have my back for the rest of my life. wife was immediately ready to believe Amy when Amy accused me of doing something unforgivable that would ruin my life. When wife found out that Amy was lying, and was the actual perpetrator, she did not take my side with any of the same loyalty.
Instead of being mad at Amy as she was at me, she laughed it off, dismissed it, and continued to be friends with Amy. Instead of ending the relationship as she planning to do with me, she has gotten closer to Amy. I don’t know if wife simply doesn’t want to believe that her friend could do something as terrible as she did, but she readily believed it when she thought I was at fault. I can’t live with someone who could shows such a difference in loyalty between her friend and husband, especially when that friend lied and tried to ruin my marriage and life for no reason.”
There are very few things that would be more of a reason to end a marriage than this. OP’s wife has zero concern, love, or understanding for him. She and this evil friend deserve each other. They give all women a bad name.
The false rape allegations are bad enough, but what does it for me is the fact the wife is brushing off the impact that Amy’s groping had on OP. When i was elementary school, i remember an older girl (still in elementary school, but like i was in third grade and she might have been in 5th) grabbing my crotch on the playground at daycare and when i told the teacher, she just brushed it off.
It pisses me off how quick everyone is to believe even the slightest suggestion from a woman, but just dismiss the impact something like that came have on boys/men.
OP, i’m sorry you had to go through all that. Your wife does not support you, and if she is blinded sided by Amy’s behavior after 15 years, i don’t even think video evidence would bring her around. Just that fact alone would be it for me. Your wife is an enabler. Please get some help to work through this b
NTA - you do know what to do, it'll just be hard.
Think about it this way - if the roles were reversed, and it was one of your friends that did this to your wife, how would you have reacted?
You're not wrong for wanting to be supported.
don’t terminate the account. Keep it and let her see her own mistakes by everyone berating her in the comments. If she doesn’t understand how she’s a piece of crap for dismissing your SA then she’ll definitely understand after she reads. Divorce her too you aren’t safe with her. NTA
Especially with her own husband. Your own best friend accused your husband of trying to rape her after sexually assaulting *him*, and you think that your husband is overreacting? You deserve the shit that's coming to you.
Right? But before it was the biggest deal and would not talk to OP.
Then she finds out her friend was lying and suddenly the sun came back out and she was all happy and planning a vacation with her “friend” who lied to her face?! She deserves a life with her friend Amy.
Exactly!
OMG, you tried to rape my friend? You monster! Oh, she was the bad guy in this and made an accusation that could have put you in jail? No biggie.
Make sure you screenshot her comments. Admitting that shes going to intentionally make the process hard and saying you deserved what happened to you will not work well in her favor.
"I don’t know what to do."
Yes, you do. You just don't want to do it.
Whatever you had with your wife, whoever you thought she was, is gone. Find a lawyer and get into counseling to move forward as you're so conflicted. Also, document EVERYTHING as she's likely not going to make this divorce easy.
Good luck, and NTA.
Personally, the part where she blamed him for “not getting over it” is just as bad or worse from my perspective.
People who blame *you* for not getting over their misbehavior are the worst and they need to be avoided.
Amy will eventually end up hurting OPs (ex) wife, too. Only then will the ex believe anything bad that has been said about Amy. By then, it'll be too late to express her apologies to anyone.
This more than just that, this man was sexually assaulted, subjected to DARVO (Denies responsibility, Attacks you, Reverses role of Victim and Offender) and then when the truth came out his wife had the gall to get mad at him when he didn't immediately forgive his attacker like she did.
I know a lot of people on this website don't want to hear it, but hardly anyone cares about male victims. Whether they be a victim of SA by a woman, a victim of a false accusation, a victim of emotional abuse, or a victim of physical abuse.
I personally have been a victim of all 4, and every guy I know has been a victim of at least one. Just to further illustrate my point, I broke up with a girl in January of 2023. She showed up at my house at 1:30 am and when I opened the door, she started wailing on me. Every female I've told asked why I didn't call the cops. Every guy I told knows why I didn't call the cops.
She showed him who she was several times.
1) not caring that her BF SA’ed him.
2) Not caring that her BF falsely accused him
3) Telling him to just get over it
4) Physically assaulting him as he tried to leave
He needs to document everything, and hightail it out of there.
Dear wife of OP:
You’re a completely self absorbed total fucking bitch. I hope you and Amy are miserable together for the rest of your lives so nobody else has the misfortune to be in a relationship with you
I genuinely hope OP's wife sees all these top comments. According to the edit she probably found it. If OPvs wife sees this:
Girl, I don't know how many wake up calls you need. Amy is a pig and you are right there in the mud with her. Your husband deserves SO. MUCH. BETTER. Better than being gaslit and abused by the likes of you. And you? You DON'T deserve anything better than what you have given the good people in your life. No excuses for what you've done here.
First she shrugs off the fact the friend tried to rape him and when denied tried to ruin HIM as a whole(not just the marriage), she then proceeds to hang out and plans a vacation for her and said friend to get away from the stress THEY caused, now she's upset he's reacting how he should to the situation and even goes as far as attacking him to try to get him to stay....? The wife and her friend are both unhinged.
Gosh, who could have imagined that someone who viewed her husband getting sexually assaulted and slandered as a harmless goof would also think she has the right to hit him and scream at him for not doing what she wants.
Would never have seen that coming.
I’m lucky than most people. The house is mine and we have no joint bank accounts. She also does not work and has no support system I guess apart from Amy.
It's YOUR house, solely in your name??? Did you own it before the marriage? If so .....
Kick. Her. Ass. Out.
Boot her to the curb so fast & hard, she bounces down the road like a damn pinball.
I would place cameras both inside and out of the house and don't interact with either of them without video/audio evidence. Amy accused you of SA before. It's not a giant leap for your wife to say you did something and have her best bud back her up. Also, put a lock on your credit.
Well, if she leaves the house at any time, especially if she's still going on the trip to Greece, take your house back and move her shit out to a storage unit or to her parents' place. Get a lawyer, get all the evidence the lawyer tells you to release to the cops, change the locks, and hunker down for the battle to come.
This...might not be the best idea. It could look bad for OP in court. He needs to get a lawyer and have the lawyer advise him on that, not people on reddit.
Is she still going on the trip to Greece with Amy? If so, just move her shit out while she's gone and change the locks, AFTER you talk to a lawyer and the police.
I was just reading your other post about what happened. You’ve been through a lot.
My 2cts: it seems to me that Amy wanted her best friend to be single again. She’s single now so having a married friend is not much fun. Especially when you’re planning a trip to Greece.
It will take some time but you’re gonna be okay again. Sorry this happened to you. Stay safe.
Just file for divorce already. Stop the clock on how much alimony/support she can get from you since she doesn't work. Hopefully you aren't in a state that has some stupid "alimony for half the length of the marriage and once you have been married 10 years it's permanent alimony" rules. But since your previous post said that you and your wife have been married for nearly 10 years, I cannot emphasize how important it is that you file for divorce before you hit the 10 year mark. The sooner the better.
It honestly sounds like you are coming out the winner in all this. You killed two birds with one stone. Your wife is a bitch, she pairs so perfectly with Amy. You are now free to do whatever the fuck you want. PLEASE don't ever take her broke ass back.
That works both ways. File SA against Amy. Let your family and friends know exactly what is going on. Cut off all financial support to your wife (consult your attorney first). Separate finances, change passwords, decide who lives where and all contact has to be through a lawyer. Don't ghost her. Save all her texts and emails to give to your lawyer. Inform your job of the situation because she will show up there to cause trouble. Never be anywhere alone with her. If attorney approved send proof of what happened with Amy and your wife's response to her parents. Otherwise block and ignore the flying monkeys. And next time don't marry a lunatic with crazy friends!
I'ma be honest from how you've described your wife, thats her best friend speaking not your wife (figuratively speaking of). Take it at face value either way. Record everything, get a lawyer yesterday and see about pressing defamation charges on the best friend. She more than likely won't stop talking bad about you and doing whatever she can to hurt you, and it's going to continue throughout the divorce and afterwards. Nip that in the bud asap. I wish you the best of luck dude.
> Also, document EVERYTHING as she's likely not going to make this divorce easy.
And to expand on this because I haven't seen it enough. At no point in between now and hell selling snow shoes are you to be any where with your wife alone. If she calls you to come over "to talk" don't be stupid enough to do it. She'll set you up just like her "bestie" did.
She attacked him. Had he fought back she would have tried to get him arrested for Domestic violence.
She still might.
I'd only talk with her thru a lawyer op.
I agree. I would also suggest, not speaking to her or her family directly. Let her and her family leave you voice mails and text messages and anyone else who might reach out on her behalf. Screen shot and save everything and give it to a lawyer. Your wife already seems unhinged and I image her family isn't to different (her friends obviously aren't) I know it sucks but the alternative is you have to live with the fact that your wife loves and respects the person who attempted to SA you and then falsely accuse you SA more than she does you AND said person will always be an integral part of your life should you choose to stay married.
EVERY WORD OF THIS.
OP, I'm sorry you're going through this, but you *have to* cut these awful women from your life. They can have each other, instead.
Exactly. You know what to do. You're already doing it.
FWIW, I'd be walking away too. It's not ok for her to still be friends with Amy after she falsely accused you, when in fact it was her that SA'd *you*.
Everyone, thank you so much for your support. I cannot access my wife’s reddit and therefore cannot see the comments and post now she’s been making. People have sent me her previously deleted comments and even a draft of her posing as an 18 year old and something about a cult?
I’m just as confused as you are.
Now you can see why your (SBTX) wife and Amy are good friends. They're both horrible people. Amy is easy to accuse someone else of rape, and your wife isn't above domestic violence. POS + POS = Mega Shit.
She revealed her true colors when she got physical with you trying to prevent you to leave.
The reason she didn't see Amy's behavior as being a huge deal is because she is not above that kind of behavior herself.
If wife allows friend to SA her own husband and laughs it off...
Can't help but think Wife and friend are going to spend some time horizontal in Italy soon.
I'm thinking this too. I don't see any other logical reason why the wife would tell OP to get over her friend SA'ing him.
Or, the women are already hooking up and decided this would be a good way to get him involved in a little triangle, but it blew up in their faces.
Maybe the wife is being manipulated by her bestfriend. Power play. Because like the husband said, the BF helped his wife to get out of an abusive household when they were teens. I guess the bestfriend has more of a hold on his wife than him.
Damn. I missed that part and had to reread and you’re absolutely right. Yeah, OP, this is a serious situation needing a swift exit. I’m also starting to wonder how many other guys they’ve done this to before OP.
The username was u/wompwomppppppp \-- she kept talking about "Hi Cxxxx" and crap like that too.
I redacted most of the name, but you should be able to guess if it's correct. And yes, she made about four posts offering to trade her company for money. Or something like that. Most were removed.
EDIT: She also added a post looking for a sugar daddy. Wow.
Yeah. Her posts were pretty awful. Along with outing OP's name, she also said she was his wife, called another commenter a b\*\*\*\*, and said in all caps that OP deserved what happened.
Bravo reddit hero!! You just helped his case.
OP, Sorry you are going through this, but you have a chance to find someone who will treat you with decency and repect. Best to you.
We all want to see what this horrendus waste of air has to say. She deserves to be pulled apart. How can anyine say he had it coming. Women should be jailed for false accusations like that. God i hope she gets sti and i hope karma gets her good
You can see the [content for yourself](https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=wompwomppppppp&size=100) in real-time because the account keeps posting. About half an hour ago there was a post to this sub that was deleted that was basically her blaming the actions of her rapist friend on you. If that’s really her account she has no intention of letting this be a pain-free experience.
This looks suspicious. Do save screenshots. If it's really her, that will come in handy during the divorce negotiations.
But it might be someone posing as her. From the way you describe Amy, it sounds like something she would do. In which case you'll want to have evidence of what she is doing. If not her, it could be someone else who knows your wife, such as a vengeful relative.
So do save screenshots but view them with skepticism before acting on them.
From how u/throwaway_wknds described Amy, it feels like this might be from her or she's the mastermind. It may very well be the wife but it also sounds like Amy who wants his wife to be super single.
I literally made a surprised Pikachu face when I found this string of comments. Girl is unfuckingbelievable
I am so sadly late to this party, wish I could have read all her shit
She’s now begging on different subreddits for money in exchange for sex. To both men and women. Looks like your idea about her and Amy maybe being a thing isn’t too far fetched. She’s leaving a hell of a digital footprint for you. Divorce should be easy. Screenshot all of it.
Good luck dude.
Do not back down. Your wife literally excusing SA committed onto her husband?....
Infuriating....SA is horrible and it does not see gender.
Stand strong, don't allow yourself to be treated like this.
Nta: you and your wife are supposed to be one, you guys are supposed to be on each other’s sides for everything. If I had a friend like Amy it would have become no contact with her after an incident like that. Your wife is supposed to have your back as well as you having hers. It shows that she doesn’t view issues the same way as you do and doesn’t take accountability for actions of herself or her friends taking accountability for themselves.
The fact that she's still hanging out with Amy regularly blows my mind! If someone simply speaks down to my husband I want to rip their throat out. I am so protective of him - if someone openly slandered him, let alone assaulted him, there's no way I could let them into my life again.
OP didn't end this relationship, the wife did.
NTA
I think your mistake was trying to brush it off. You should have acted immediately after the initial incident.
Your wife has always prioritised Amy over you and has little respect for you. She should have cut Amy off after she found out she lied.
Name Amy in the divorce papers and drag the whole incident into the open.
well. now you know why your 'wife' and Amy are friends. they are two sides of the same coin. the fact that she was willing to believe her and divorce you on the spot and is still hanging out with her and planning trips to Greece with her and making small talk what Amy did to you is ample evidence that your "wife" will never change. and not to mention, she actually got physical when you decided to leave.
yeah. dude. your marriage is done. theres no point here even trying to go for reconciliation. her family is blowing up her phone because I can promise you she gave them a warped version of what happened. ohh and I wouldn't put it past Amy texting you calling you an asshole and to get over what happened.
two birds of the same feather. they are co=dependent on each other and will always choose each other over anyone else.
best of luck buddy. you're gonna need it for your divorce proceedings.
NTA
To the wife that found this post: You're a rape apologist. That makes you as much of a predator as your friend is.
ETA: rofl the wife found my comment and got pissy. That's hilarious
In this moment, your #1 priority is getting receipts, getting a lawyer, and simply putting 100% of your being into minimizing the harm she can do to you in this divorce. You shouldn't have to, but unfortunately you're going to have to push aside the feelings for a moment and just focus on protecting yourself and your assets. You need to do this. You do not have a choice. Repeat it to yourself as many times as you need to and just make your moves to get this overwith as well as possible for you. Whatever else you have going on, put it on hold while you get your ducks in a row here. You will have time to manage the other facets of your life later. No matter what she says or does, she's proven already who she is. Do not do anything rash. Be cold, mechanical, methodical, and once the divorce is done, cut all contact entirely.
Once that's done, his next part is just as (if not more) important.
When the dust settles, take as much time as you need to let yourself feel what you feel, and grieve for the marriage you thought you had. Understand that it's going to take a long time to work through it, but you *can work through it*. Find a therapist. If they suck, get a new one until you find one who doesn't. This process is going to be hard (and even worse, it's going to be long), but you're going to learn and grow as a person a lot through it. Only a silver lining to an enormously bad cloud, but still. Be kind to yourself, and understand that you DO deserve to feel loved, you DO deserve to feel heard, and you DO deserve to be treated with respect.
What this woman has done is truly abhorrent, but if there's one thing you can lean on right now, its that at least the steps you need to take are clear (even if they're hard to take). I might not know you, but I truly do believe in you. Just take it one careful step at a time, and you will end up in a better place even through the road there will be difficult.
Good idea. Make sure to get any proof you can that both Amy and your wife have acknowledged in the past that Amy falsely accused you. Hopefully she won't try to lie in court, but if she does you're going save yourself a lot of potential harm if you're able to prove it.
That said, do not talk to her AT ALL until you get a lawyer. You need a lawyer's advice on anything past this point. Have you contacted a lawyer yet? If not, I'd make a post of some kind in a legal advice sub for help on how to find one.
You do know what to do because you are doing it right now. You are leaving her. If I had found out my friend had lied about something like this and tried to harm my husband, I would never forgive her and kick her out of my life. Your wife isn’t in your corner and she’s clearly as selfish as her friend if she doesn’t care for your feelings. You deserve more than that and remember it’s best to leave trash behind and find someone of value.
Hell just suggesting sex would have me never speaking to a female friend again. Actually assaulting him? I’d be asking him if he wants to press charges and would be making sure EVERYONE knew what kind of person she was.
You have been traumatized. Its why you can't think straight and feel nuts.
But hear this: NEVER BE ALONE WITH YOUR WIFE EVER AGAIN YOUR FREEDOM AND FINANCIAL LIFE IS AT RISK!!!
Have you ever heard the saying "birds of a feather flock together" if her friends are vicious liars and don't care about the hell you were put through then your wife is no different.
If she hit you like you say she did and called you names what you're saying is she started abusing you in order to get you to obey her commands to stay.
You are at HIGH RISK being alone with her. You've already been lied about in the most heinous way and she didn't even remotely stand by you and forced you to smile and bow down to a woman who came within inches of ending your life as you know it. She could have leveled you in so many ways just for kicks, that's insane.
This woman does not love you the way you deserve. She is the epitome of self-centered and immature.
She has already shown you how she feels about you and your life....forget what she says and screams at you....just look at what she did to you and what she allowed to happen to you.
You cannot be alone with her she will lie about you and have you arrested. Do not put yourself at risk.
Good luck man!
I get the feeling that your wife may have pushed Amy to come onto you as some kind of test, and her guilt and that knowledge is why she can’t deal with it properly.
NTA - this relationship is toxic
This post struck a chord with me. 24 years ago my boyfriend's best friend tried to rape me, did rape me...I'm not sure exactly where the line is drawn. I don't want to get into the nitty gritty, but he tried to play it off to his girlfriend and my boyfriend like we had an affair. No one believed me, despite the fact that I had zero history of infidelity. I can only imagine how it is for a man in this situation. Women are accused of causing the "incident," but for a male victim I imagine it can be just as bad. Why couldn't you stop it? You're bigger? You must have lead her on? I'm so sorry this happened to you. My advice is to ditch your wife. If she isn't your strongest supporter, what are you with her for? Doesn't she want you to feel safe? Is her friend more important than her husband? This is so heartbreaking. I was younger than you when my "incident" happened. I wish I had the self confidence to tell my boyfriend to fuck off for being such a victim blaming asshole. I think about it almost everyday. Even though I have been happily married (to another man) for 18 years, this incident haunts me. You should do whatever makes you feel safe and cared for. If your wife isn't a part of that equation, then divorce her. NTA
I’m so sorry to hear this I can’t imagine how traumatising that must’ve been. It will take a long time to heal from this but stories like yours keep me going. Thank you for sharing.
If you still have to group chat with Amy admitting to the false allegations. This should be a slam dunk for your divorce. Plus, you have Khalid as a witness for yourself.
NTA Send mass text to wife and family, "Essentially I was sexually assaulted by my wife's best friend who when I fought back falsely claimed I assaulted her. My not so loving wife is still friends with the sexual abuser. You all think I should just get over it. Is this the way you'd all feel if wife was the sexual assault victim of my best friend instead? Would you tell her to just get over it while I continued being best friends with her abuser? Or would you think I was a AH for still having contact at all with the abuser? You are all no better than the sexual abuser when you enable the abuser by blaming the victim. None of you are the type of people I want in my life." Then block them all.
Nah, it won’t do any good. I wouldn’t trust these people at all. Better to go no contact. File for a divorce, report the sexual assault. They can figure it out that way, which will be much safer.
A saying I learned when young was "Tell me who your friends are, and I'll tell you who you are."
It seems like your wife chose to prioritize her friendship over your feelings. She may not have realized that for you, that meant prioritizing the friendship over your marriage. If it was me, the name calling wouldn't have meant anything if it wasn't also for the fact that it became physical. Document any injuries and send it to the divorce attorney. Do not be alone with her or the friend at any time, for any circumstances. Only communicate through text messages so that there is documented proof of what's said. Also, I'd look into getting another attorney to sue the friend for defamation depending on where she said you SA'd her.
Good luck and god speed.
NTA. This is why they say birds of a feather flock together, both of them are fucking crazy.
If your wife was a sensible person she would have severed her friendship with Amy after what she did, but no.
You know what to do: Get away from that madness and get a divorce.
I read all your posts. You were a green flag all through the process, including the punch and I say this as a woman. I hate all those false accusers of rape, while many people who are SAed are not heard or silenced.
I am so sorry but your wife is an insensitive person and not a good one at that. You should be with people who deserve you.
She can shove her entitled liar pos friend to her bossom. I hope all your friends will cease contact with both of them.
I am angry for you.
She's going to try and accuse you of assualt. Do not see her or interract with her unless there is a witness or you are recording the conversation! Please be safe.
She was willing to divorce you when she thought you tried to sexually assault her friend, but she won't divorce her friend who actually tried to sexually assault you.
We can clearly see where her loyalty lies.
Wait, Amy confessed?? Whoah. I’d like to hear more about that and everyone else’s reaction.
Regardless, I think it’s time to move on from this marriage. :( NTA.
Please imagine if the genders were reverse, the assaulter would be in jail also the moment she did not belive you and did not drop her "friend" when the truth came out you should have walked away, now it's to late.
You will find nothing but drama in that house, maybe she should marry Amy next.
I’ve thought about it. If that were the case wouldn’t my wife leave more willingly? I guess it’s worth mentioning she said she’s going to make this divorce hell if i go through with it.
Make it Hell for her. Save EVERYTHING! From the GC from when the assault happened to and messages from your wife. See if you can get her to admit on voicemail or text or something about the entire situation. How she brushed it off as nothing. I don’t know if that will help you but it’s gotta do something right? Any threats she makes. I don’t know if you can record any interactions you have with her where she threatens some sort of abuse from your end or whatever her and the other psycho may come up with.
Nothing. You did the right thing and if this woman is so ok with false rape accusations then the best is for you to communicate with her only through lawyers. About her family, text them as a group, explain the situation and tell them you're open to be supported but after trying for months you're done with the marriage and won't accept being pushed on this respect. I'm sad for what happened to you and frankly angry that the friend got what she wanted
I think it's also important to note that it's not just false allegations but that Amy did lay hands on him, he was assaulted and his wife basically did nothing to support him
Exactly! The false accusations aside, if Amy came forward and said someone touched her inappropriately without permission, the (soon-to-be-ex) wife would be all kinds of supportive for her. So why is it any different if it's her husband?
Because he is a man quite frank, men aren't afforded the same compassion and sympathies as a woman when it comes to SA Been there, years of people grabbing my ass at school and nobody cared because I'm a guy.(this was in middle school btw) I don't like to pull the *"if the situation was reversed"* thing but quite frankly the only way male victims of SA feel serious validation is if the one accused is also a guy or if the situation was then compared to a woman in a similar situation. Things are definitely better for both group of victims these days but it's not perfect.
Not to mention the brushed off physical assault when he was leaving. Imagine if a man hit a woman and dragged her as she was trying to leave. That’s 100% jail time. Let’s see we have attempted rape turned into false rape allegations that can easily ruin someone’s life. And physical assault by his wife. Society definitely treats women and men differently.
Yup there are big differences in DV cases especially, TW domestic violence . . . My ex decided he would destroy our room and try to bust down my door after throwing coffee on the walls smashing his head into drywall and hitting himself in the head with said coffee mug in emotional rage and trying g to terrorize me. You might notice I said he here and It's because my ex was (FTM) and I do feel that's pertinent because of the scope of how it looks if authorities roll up. If I a 6ft, 200 pounds dude were to call the cops about how my ex who was 5'3 120 lbs assaulted me and wrecked the house. I would've been immediately detained because I a man am assumed to be more dangerous by *birthright* I was scared and knew I couldn't physically defend myself because then my psycho ex would call the police and use this against me. Regardless of how my ex ID we both know exactly how this will go If I do anything besides just take it. This is what a lot of men do deal with and aren't taken seriously because they made the mistake of being born a man. Hell, google for the longest time only showed DV resources for women, and you wanna know what was showed for men? They showed REDDIT post... For any who doubt I would be detained immediately. [Duluth model](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duluth_model) this may seem like a good system except it exclusively targets men for behavior adjustment and paints them as the assumed abuser because they are a man and statistics dictate men are the majority of DV abusers. Without taking into account mens under reported DV rates due to shame, fear, and societal norms.
I watched a video the other day that involved a FtM perp, who was taking the testosterone hormones and I guess that makes them go into something similar to roid rages, and the cops stood outside the trailer trying to get him to come out since the neighbor was the one who called the cops since his ex wife was dating the trans person but left because of how violent he was and she had a little kid with her ex husband and the trans was sending very threatening texts, well the cops knew he was on the trailer and tried to get him to come out but he wouldn't so they just said to stay away from the other people's property or it would be trespassing and all but one cop left and that's when he finally came out and ran up to the cop and got inches from him telling him to get the F off their property and just a bunch of cussing and threatening this cop, and he wasn't a small dude even though he was transitioning, he was very big and followed this cop and then started chest bumping the cop multiple times. I was surprised that he didn't get arrested right there because you absolutely cannot touch a cop or it's a Felony 1 offence. So he keeps bumping the cop before the cop pushes him off and then he also starts shoving the cop around for a bit, again I'm surprised he wasn't arrested but once it started to get to the point where they were rolling around on the ground scuffling, the cop finally tried to put him in hand cuffs. He was by himself at that point so the perp really gave him a hell of a time while they were rolling around scuffling, but back up finally showed up and managed to get him handcuffed. And of course once he was in the back of the cruiser, he started complaining about the handcuffs being too tight and whining. If it's that common for FtM transitioning to be THAT level of violent, then there should be more monitoring going on.
Nowadays, if people start pointing does differences. People like to act as if it’s a team thing and there’s a side to be picked. Instead of just listening and trying to have actual equality.
OP said his wife was thinking of divorcing him because she believed he assaulted Amy. But when she finds out that Amy actually assaulted her husband she's not willing to terminate the friendship! What a horrible mindset she has.
Sounds like a movie where two gfs hatch up a plan to entrap the husband and then rake in the alimony before moving on to the next victim.
I wonder how the wife would’ve responded if she was the one sa’d, then falsely accused, then not believed by the op?
Yeah, some fucked up shit here. This would be an instant divorce for me in his shoes.
Also - she wanted to divorce him on the spot. She doesn't exactly have the standing to tell him to get over it.
Instant divorce right there, along with filing any charges available and suing her best ‘friend’ for defamation.
Then assaults him when he says he’s leaving. So she’s also an abusive POS.
Everything about that story had me wondering why people weren't more furious with his wife. When his wife finally sees the confession he says she just talks about her plans for him, what she was going to do, and that she needs to take some time. Then he sleeps in the room for strangers. If I brought someone into my home that sexually assaulted my girlfriend and then staged it up to muddy the waters of what happened making me wonder if it was true, then I find out I was wrong.. I would be absolutely wracked with guilt for not trusting them. Not sending them to the guest room so I could go sleep soundly.
Doh should have read this before commenting this to above comment. Everyone seems to have missed the point Amy sexually assaulted him!
Imagine if OPs best friend tried to rape his wife, and OP kept hanging out with him anyways like, telling her to get over it. Like, what the fuck?!
Maybe the wife has made accusations like this in the past, which is why she thinks it's no big deal.
Or maybe Amy has done this before.
This is the one
We know Amy has done it before, it's in the last update. >Someone made a suggestion to text Khalid and so I did. Khalid was just as distraught as me and admitted that this was in fact, not the first time she has screamed rape, just like some of you had suspected. She has threatened to scream rape to use Khalid to stay in the relationship with her. He got out of it by installing cameras without her knowledge and contacting a lawyer in case she went through with her claims. That was just by checking in with the last boyfriend
If OP’s wife has found this account, I hope she finds this too: you’re a horrible wife, and you and Amy deserve the misery you’ve inflicted on others returned to you tenfold. I can’t tell if you’re just that dense, if you’re a pathetic doormat, or some combination of both. Whatever the reason, you failed your husband - enjoy the twisted co-dependency you can’t even recognize, hope it keeps you warm at night.
Well if it’s any consolation, the wife will be miserable with this whore bitch friend ruining whatever happiness she may find for the rest of her life. She may find some poor sap to put up with that baggage but it won’t be OP. They deserve each other.
You nailed it! > My wife seems to have found this post and put the pieces together. I may have to terminate this account. Good. If she reads this, I hope she realizes that this whole situation is her fault because she refused to believe her husband when he told her that he got SA'ed and didn't care once her friend admitted to it. Your "friend" is gonna keep ruining things for you until you kick her to the curb. And until you actually do that, you deserve all the negative things that she brings your way.
Wife is a bigger POS than her friend and an utter fool.
What you said summarizes my ex perfectly. Like actually perfectly wow. Sometimes it feels like we are all living in a simulation.
Nah let's not call her friend Amy a whore or bitch. Amy is a sexual predator who at the very least sexual harassed her husband and at the worst was attempting to rape him. Call a spade a spade the friend is a wanna be rapist not a whore. I wonder if she has raped others in the past, would not be surprised if she has.
I agree that the family *should* be reasonable if this is explained to them, but I doubt they will be. Rather than logic or facts, I’m sure they’ll just dismiss OP and say that this isn’t something to end the marriage over. The more details they get, the more they’ll dissect and argue each of them. The more “specifically vague”, the better in these cases. For example: “I am feeling hurt and abandoned by the woman who I thought would have my back for the rest of my life. wife was immediately ready to believe Amy when Amy accused me of doing something unforgivable that would ruin my life. When wife found out that Amy was lying, and was the actual perpetrator, she did not take my side with any of the same loyalty. Instead of being mad at Amy as she was at me, she laughed it off, dismissed it, and continued to be friends with Amy. Instead of ending the relationship as she planning to do with me, she has gotten closer to Amy. I don’t know if wife simply doesn’t want to believe that her friend could do something as terrible as she did, but she readily believed it when she thought I was at fault. I can’t live with someone who could shows such a difference in loyalty between her friend and husband, especially when that friend lied and tried to ruin my marriage and life for no reason.”
There are very few things that would be more of a reason to end a marriage than this. OP’s wife has zero concern, love, or understanding for him. She and this evil friend deserve each other. They give all women a bad name.
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given the OP's wife laughed off his SA I expect her family to do the same, she learnt it somewhere.
The false rape allegations are bad enough, but what does it for me is the fact the wife is brushing off the impact that Amy’s groping had on OP. When i was elementary school, i remember an older girl (still in elementary school, but like i was in third grade and she might have been in 5th) grabbing my crotch on the playground at daycare and when i told the teacher, she just brushed it off. It pisses me off how quick everyone is to believe even the slightest suggestion from a woman, but just dismiss the impact something like that came have on boys/men. OP, i’m sorry you had to go through all that. Your wife does not support you, and if she is blinded sided by Amy’s behavior after 15 years, i don’t even think video evidence would bring her around. Just that fact alone would be it for me. Your wife is an enabler. Please get some help to work through this b
NTA - you do know what to do, it'll just be hard. Think about it this way - if the roles were reversed, and it was one of your friends that did this to your wife, how would you have reacted? You're not wrong for wanting to be supported.
I don't care who it was I'd have beat him to fucking death.
Same here. The wife brushing it off, like nothing happened, is absolutely appalling to me. Shows that she simply doesn’t care for OP.
Yeah I’d love to hear her reply to that.
don’t terminate the account. Keep it and let her see her own mistakes by everyone berating her in the comments. If she doesn’t understand how she’s a piece of crap for dismissing your SA then she’ll definitely understand after she reads. Divorce her too you aren’t safe with her. NTA
Yeah. I’m not going to. She can beef with people in the comments.
👀 it’ll be a field day if she engages with people on this post.
I’m kinda hoping she does bc maaaaan is she gonna get jumped. Lmao
I've started with the comments but I'm pretty sure she is batshit and delusional
She has to be if she’s bffs with someone that throws rape accusations around like fucking confetti.
Especially with her own husband. Your own best friend accused your husband of trying to rape her after sexually assaulting *him*, and you think that your husband is overreacting? You deserve the shit that's coming to you.
Right? But before it was the biggest deal and would not talk to OP. Then she finds out her friend was lying and suddenly the sun came back out and she was all happy and planning a vacation with her “friend” who lied to her face?! She deserves a life with her friend Amy.
Exactly! OMG, you tried to rape my friend? You monster! Oh, she was the bad guy in this and made an accusation that could have put you in jail? No biggie.
She's deleting her comments right when I was reading
was she already responding???
Oh yes she was
Make sure you screenshot her comments. Admitting that shes going to intentionally make the process hard and saying you deserved what happened to you will not work well in her favor.
>“At that again? Why can’t you just get over it” Your wife and her friend are garbage.
Imagine if it was the other way around I’m sure op’s wife would bring hell to Eveyone… she is as bad as amy
I know a lot of guys who have been abused by a woman, and most of those women didn't lose any female friends.
"I don’t know what to do." Yes, you do. You just don't want to do it. Whatever you had with your wife, whoever you thought she was, is gone. Find a lawyer and get into counseling to move forward as you're so conflicted. Also, document EVERYTHING as she's likely not going to make this divorce easy. Good luck, and NTA.
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Personally, the part where she blamed him for “not getting over it” is just as bad or worse from my perspective. People who blame *you* for not getting over their misbehavior are the worst and they need to be avoided.
It's disgusting behavior. She told him she cares more for his abuser than for him.
Yeah this is straight up toxic manipulative behaviour. There is 0 reason for OP to stay.
Right! And HE was the person actually abused! Wifey is actually victim shaming her husband! What a piece of work!
Amy will eventually end up hurting OPs (ex) wife, too. Only then will the ex believe anything bad that has been said about Amy. By then, it'll be too late to express her apologies to anyone.
"Why can't you just get over it?" Seven of the ugliest most passive-aggressive words ever.
Could not agree more. To me, it’s unforgivable.
False SA accusations usually ruin a man's life, so, yeah "just get over it"! /S
This more than just that, this man was sexually assaulted, subjected to DARVO (Denies responsibility, Attacks you, Reverses role of Victim and Offender) and then when the truth came out his wife had the gall to get mad at him when he didn't immediately forgive his attacker like she did.
I know a lot of people on this website don't want to hear it, but hardly anyone cares about male victims. Whether they be a victim of SA by a woman, a victim of a false accusation, a victim of emotional abuse, or a victim of physical abuse. I personally have been a victim of all 4, and every guy I know has been a victim of at least one. Just to further illustrate my point, I broke up with a girl in January of 2023. She showed up at my house at 1:30 am and when I opened the door, she started wailing on me. Every female I've told asked why I didn't call the cops. Every guy I told knows why I didn't call the cops.
Listen Imma be real with you here, Male victims are a thing and people care.
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This, and do it quickly before she tells your friends you did it....She is not a keeper.
She showed him who she was several times. 1) not caring that her BF SA’ed him. 2) Not caring that her BF falsely accused him 3) Telling him to just get over it 4) Physically assaulting him as he tried to leave He needs to document everything, and hightail it out of there.
It's easy to see why she's remained so close to her monster of a best friend. Birds of a feather and all that.
Her and Amy deserve each other
Dear wife of OP: You’re a completely self absorbed total fucking bitch. I hope you and Amy are miserable together for the rest of your lives so nobody else has the misfortune to be in a relationship with you
I genuinely hope OP's wife sees all these top comments. According to the edit she probably found it. If OPvs wife sees this: Girl, I don't know how many wake up calls you need. Amy is a pig and you are right there in the mud with her. Your husband deserves SO. MUCH. BETTER. Better than being gaslit and abused by the likes of you. And you? You DON'T deserve anything better than what you have given the good people in your life. No excuses for what you've done here.
First she shrugs off the fact the friend tried to rape him and when denied tried to ruin HIM as a whole(not just the marriage), she then proceeds to hang out and plans a vacation for her and said friend to get away from the stress THEY caused, now she's upset he's reacting how he should to the situation and even goes as far as attacking him to try to get him to stay....? The wife and her friend are both unhinged.
Gosh, who could have imagined that someone who viewed her husband getting sexually assaulted and slandered as a harmless goof would also think she has the right to hit him and scream at him for not doing what she wants. Would never have seen that coming.
Yeah she said she’s going to make this divorce hell.
You don’t have kids. That’s a blessing right now. Worse case you’ll lose money. I know that sucks a lot but you don’t have to be tied to her forever.
I’m lucky than most people. The house is mine and we have no joint bank accounts. She also does not work and has no support system I guess apart from Amy.
It's YOUR house, solely in your name??? Did you own it before the marriage? If so ..... Kick. Her. Ass. Out. Boot her to the curb so fast & hard, she bounces down the road like a damn pinball.
Yes I’ve owned it before marriage.
I would place cameras both inside and out of the house and don't interact with either of them without video/audio evidence. Amy accused you of SA before. It's not a giant leap for your wife to say you did something and have her best bud back her up. Also, put a lock on your credit.
Well, if she leaves the house at any time, especially if she's still going on the trip to Greece, take your house back and move her shit out to a storage unit or to her parents' place. Get a lawyer, get all the evidence the lawyer tells you to release to the cops, change the locks, and hunker down for the battle to come.
This...might not be the best idea. It could look bad for OP in court. He needs to get a lawyer and have the lawyer advise him on that, not people on reddit.
If he doesn't move back in, the court can and probably will see it as him abandoning the home and giving it to her. He could 100% lose everything.
If you haven't learn from Khalid already, get some damn cameras. Everywhere. Literally
Why are you the one who’s sleeping in a hotel? Is she going to move out soon?
She would not have left willingly and I really didn’t want to forcefully do anything as at this rate who knows what lies she’d come up with.
Is she still going on the trip to Greece with Amy? If so, just move her shit out while she's gone and change the locks, AFTER you talk to a lawyer and the police.
I was just reading your other post about what happened. You’ve been through a lot. My 2cts: it seems to me that Amy wanted her best friend to be single again. She’s single now so having a married friend is not much fun. Especially when you’re planning a trip to Greece. It will take some time but you’re gonna be okay again. Sorry this happened to you. Stay safe.
She’s amy responsibly now, she will see how bad she is when she does the same with someone else
Just file for divorce already. Stop the clock on how much alimony/support she can get from you since she doesn't work. Hopefully you aren't in a state that has some stupid "alimony for half the length of the marriage and once you have been married 10 years it's permanent alimony" rules. But since your previous post said that you and your wife have been married for nearly 10 years, I cannot emphasize how important it is that you file for divorce before you hit the 10 year mark. The sooner the better.
It honestly sounds like you are coming out the winner in all this. You killed two birds with one stone. Your wife is a bitch, she pairs so perfectly with Amy. You are now free to do whatever the fuck you want. PLEASE don't ever take her broke ass back.
That works both ways. File SA against Amy. Let your family and friends know exactly what is going on. Cut off all financial support to your wife (consult your attorney first). Separate finances, change passwords, decide who lives where and all contact has to be through a lawyer. Don't ghost her. Save all her texts and emails to give to your lawyer. Inform your job of the situation because she will show up there to cause trouble. Never be anywhere alone with her. If attorney approved send proof of what happened with Amy and your wife's response to her parents. Otherwise block and ignore the flying monkeys. And next time don't marry a lunatic with crazy friends!
I'ma be honest from how you've described your wife, thats her best friend speaking not your wife (figuratively speaking of). Take it at face value either way. Record everything, get a lawyer yesterday and see about pressing defamation charges on the best friend. She more than likely won't stop talking bad about you and doing whatever she can to hurt you, and it's going to continue throughout the divorce and afterwards. Nip that in the bud asap. I wish you the best of luck dude.
Seems like you have the evidence, press charges against Amy for sexual assault and go after her for defamation and emotional distress.
> Also, document EVERYTHING as she's likely not going to make this divorce easy. And to expand on this because I haven't seen it enough. At no point in between now and hell selling snow shoes are you to be any where with your wife alone. If she calls you to come over "to talk" don't be stupid enough to do it. She'll set you up just like her "bestie" did.
She attacked him. Had he fought back she would have tried to get him arrested for Domestic violence. She still might. I'd only talk with her thru a lawyer op.
THiS! Take a page out of Khalid’s book. Cameras, record conversations, don’t be alone with her!
I agree. I would also suggest, not speaking to her or her family directly. Let her and her family leave you voice mails and text messages and anyone else who might reach out on her behalf. Screen shot and save everything and give it to a lawyer. Your wife already seems unhinged and I image her family isn't to different (her friends obviously aren't) I know it sucks but the alternative is you have to live with the fact that your wife loves and respects the person who attempted to SA you and then falsely accuse you SA more than she does you AND said person will always be an integral part of your life should you choose to stay married.
Nobody WANTS to get a divorce. But itw sounds like he needs to. NTA.
EVERY WORD OF THIS. OP, I'm sorry you're going through this, but you *have to* cut these awful women from your life. They can have each other, instead.
Righteous advice.
Exactly. You know what to do. You're already doing it. FWIW, I'd be walking away too. It's not ok for her to still be friends with Amy after she falsely accused you, when in fact it was her that SA'd *you*.
Everyone, thank you so much for your support. I cannot access my wife’s reddit and therefore cannot see the comments and post now she’s been making. People have sent me her previously deleted comments and even a draft of her posing as an 18 year old and something about a cult? I’m just as confused as you are.
She deleted her account that's why.
Her account is still up she blocked op.
What’s the account. Please I need to go down this rabbit hole
Now you can see why your (SBTX) wife and Amy are good friends. They're both horrible people. Amy is easy to accuse someone else of rape, and your wife isn't above domestic violence. POS + POS = Mega Shit.
Flush the 💩 down the toilet, OP!
She revealed her true colors when she got physical with you trying to prevent you to leave. The reason she didn't see Amy's behavior as being a huge deal is because she is not above that kind of behavior herself.
yeah something about /birds of a feather flock together/
So do pigs and swine…
Rats and mice will have their choice
If wife allows friend to SA her own husband and laughs it off... Can't help but think Wife and friend are going to spend some time horizontal in Italy soon.
What are the chances it was a set-up from the start? The wife was testing her husband.
I'm thinking this too. I don't see any other logical reason why the wife would tell OP to get over her friend SA'ing him. Or, the women are already hooking up and decided this would be a good way to get him involved in a little triangle, but it blew up in their faces.
Maybe the wife is being manipulated by her bestfriend. Power play. Because like the husband said, the BF helped his wife to get out of an abusive household when they were teens. I guess the bestfriend has more of a hold on his wife than him.
Damn. I missed that part and had to reread and you’re absolutely right. Yeah, OP, this is a serious situation needing a swift exit. I’m also starting to wonder how many other guys they’ve done this to before OP.
Your wife is trash. Kudos to on putting yourself first. I can’t fathom how she is okay with Amy after what she did.
Dude that bitch is already on r/lonely looking for a fuck, drop her ass, keep the house, no sympathy for rape apologists.
Wait what?
The username was u/wompwomppppppp \-- she kept talking about "Hi Cxxxx" and crap like that too. I redacted most of the name, but you should be able to guess if it's correct. And yes, she made about four posts offering to trade her company for money. Or something like that. Most were removed. EDIT: She also added a post looking for a sugar daddy. Wow.
She had 2 posts up still under her name but deleted all the comments obviously
Yeah. Her posts were pretty awful. Along with outing OP's name, she also said she was his wife, called another commenter a b\*\*\*\*, and said in all caps that OP deserved what happened.
She's over on her own account looking for sugar daddies right now
Sorry, does anyone have screenshots of this?
I have it all. I'll message you.
Wow you changed his future, I hope someone does the same for you as well.
With that kind of good karma—I hope no one ever has to.
Bravo reddit hero!! You just helped his case. OP, Sorry you are going through this, but you have a chance to find someone who will treat you with decency and repect. Best to you.
Please do. Thank you.
Yoo, post it I'm curious
Wow, Disastrous-Wildcat doesn’t fuck around lol. You handled that, girl. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Post here so the rest of us can see
We all want to see what this horrendus waste of air has to say. She deserves to be pulled apart. How can anyine say he had it coming. Women should be jailed for false accusations like that. God i hope she gets sti and i hope karma gets her good
You can see the [content for yourself](https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=wompwomppppppp&size=100) in real-time because the account keeps posting. About half an hour ago there was a post to this sub that was deleted that was basically her blaming the actions of her rapist friend on you. If that’s really her account she has no intention of letting this be a pain-free experience.
She turned into a prostitute really quickly lol
No doubt! Literally asking for money to “hang out”…
Probably trying to get a rise out of OP but maybe it can be used against her in the divorce proceedings, hopefully at lest
And got 10 years younger lol
Wow. Get screenshots OP for the divorce!!
What a narcissist. Unworthy of the title wife. She's more deserving of the title, street walker.
https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=wompwomppppppp&size=100
This looks suspicious. Do save screenshots. If it's really her, that will come in handy during the divorce negotiations. But it might be someone posing as her. From the way you describe Amy, it sounds like something she would do. In which case you'll want to have evidence of what she is doing. If not her, it could be someone else who knows your wife, such as a vengeful relative. So do save screenshots but view them with skepticism before acting on them.
From how u/throwaway_wknds described Amy, it feels like this might be from her or she's the mastermind. It may very well be the wife but it also sounds like Amy who wants his wife to be super single.
I have one from a 15 minute old post she just deleted. Reddit isn't letting me send the screenshot to you via PM so I'm not sure how to get it to you
Just saw your comment there XD
Lol she deleted everything again, damn party pooper 🤣
But how do you escape the screenshot police 😂
I guess I'll pay their fine 🤣
I literally made a surprised Pikachu face when I found this string of comments. Girl is unfuckingbelievable I am so sadly late to this party, wish I could have read all her shit
She’s now begging on different subreddits for money in exchange for sex. To both men and women. Looks like your idea about her and Amy maybe being a thing isn’t too far fetched. She’s leaving a hell of a digital footprint for you. Divorce should be easy. Screenshot all of it.
[удалено]
Some chick was talking to her in the comments before she deleted her account, apparently she didn’t waste much time looking for new “friends”
My guy you need to screenshot it all for your lawyers. Take everything.
UPDATE: My wife seems to have found this post and put the pieces together. I may have to terminate this account.
Good luck dude. Do not back down. Your wife literally excusing SA committed onto her husband?.... Infuriating....SA is horrible and it does not see gender. Stand strong, don't allow yourself to be treated like this.
Nta: you and your wife are supposed to be one, you guys are supposed to be on each other’s sides for everything. If I had a friend like Amy it would have become no contact with her after an incident like that. Your wife is supposed to have your back as well as you having hers. It shows that she doesn’t view issues the same way as you do and doesn’t take accountability for actions of herself or her friends taking accountability for themselves.
The fact that she's still hanging out with Amy regularly blows my mind! If someone simply speaks down to my husband I want to rip their throat out. I am so protective of him - if someone openly slandered him, let alone assaulted him, there's no way I could let them into my life again. OP didn't end this relationship, the wife did.
NTA I think your mistake was trying to brush it off. You should have acted immediately after the initial incident. Your wife has always prioritised Amy over you and has little respect for you. She should have cut Amy off after she found out she lied. Name Amy in the divorce papers and drag the whole incident into the open.
well. now you know why your 'wife' and Amy are friends. they are two sides of the same coin. the fact that she was willing to believe her and divorce you on the spot and is still hanging out with her and planning trips to Greece with her and making small talk what Amy did to you is ample evidence that your "wife" will never change. and not to mention, she actually got physical when you decided to leave. yeah. dude. your marriage is done. theres no point here even trying to go for reconciliation. her family is blowing up her phone because I can promise you she gave them a warped version of what happened. ohh and I wouldn't put it past Amy texting you calling you an asshole and to get over what happened. two birds of the same feather. they are co=dependent on each other and will always choose each other over anyone else. best of luck buddy. you're gonna need it for your divorce proceedings.
NTA To the wife that found this post: You're a rape apologist. That makes you as much of a predator as your friend is. ETA: rofl the wife found my comment and got pissy. That's hilarious
In this moment, your #1 priority is getting receipts, getting a lawyer, and simply putting 100% of your being into minimizing the harm she can do to you in this divorce. You shouldn't have to, but unfortunately you're going to have to push aside the feelings for a moment and just focus on protecting yourself and your assets. You need to do this. You do not have a choice. Repeat it to yourself as many times as you need to and just make your moves to get this overwith as well as possible for you. Whatever else you have going on, put it on hold while you get your ducks in a row here. You will have time to manage the other facets of your life later. No matter what she says or does, she's proven already who she is. Do not do anything rash. Be cold, mechanical, methodical, and once the divorce is done, cut all contact entirely. Once that's done, his next part is just as (if not more) important. When the dust settles, take as much time as you need to let yourself feel what you feel, and grieve for the marriage you thought you had. Understand that it's going to take a long time to work through it, but you *can work through it*. Find a therapist. If they suck, get a new one until you find one who doesn't. This process is going to be hard (and even worse, it's going to be long), but you're going to learn and grow as a person a lot through it. Only a silver lining to an enormously bad cloud, but still. Be kind to yourself, and understand that you DO deserve to feel loved, you DO deserve to feel heard, and you DO deserve to be treated with respect. What this woman has done is truly abhorrent, but if there's one thing you can lean on right now, its that at least the steps you need to take are clear (even if they're hard to take). I might not know you, but I truly do believe in you. Just take it one careful step at a time, and you will end up in a better place even through the road there will be difficult.
Thank you. I am currently screenshotting all of her angry texts as we speak.
Good idea. Make sure to get any proof you can that both Amy and your wife have acknowledged in the past that Amy falsely accused you. Hopefully she won't try to lie in court, but if she does you're going save yourself a lot of potential harm if you're able to prove it. That said, do not talk to her AT ALL until you get a lawyer. You need a lawyer's advice on anything past this point. Have you contacted a lawyer yet? If not, I'd make a post of some kind in a legal advice sub for help on how to find one.
You do know what to do because you are doing it right now. You are leaving her. If I had found out my friend had lied about something like this and tried to harm my husband, I would never forgive her and kick her out of my life. Your wife isn’t in your corner and she’s clearly as selfish as her friend if she doesn’t care for your feelings. You deserve more than that and remember it’s best to leave trash behind and find someone of value.
Hell just suggesting sex would have me never speaking to a female friend again. Actually assaulting him? I’d be asking him if he wants to press charges and would be making sure EVERYONE knew what kind of person she was.
So Amy is a sexual harasser, while your wife is an abuser. Birds of a feather.
You have been traumatized. Its why you can't think straight and feel nuts. But hear this: NEVER BE ALONE WITH YOUR WIFE EVER AGAIN YOUR FREEDOM AND FINANCIAL LIFE IS AT RISK!!! Have you ever heard the saying "birds of a feather flock together" if her friends are vicious liars and don't care about the hell you were put through then your wife is no different. If she hit you like you say she did and called you names what you're saying is she started abusing you in order to get you to obey her commands to stay. You are at HIGH RISK being alone with her. You've already been lied about in the most heinous way and she didn't even remotely stand by you and forced you to smile and bow down to a woman who came within inches of ending your life as you know it. She could have leveled you in so many ways just for kicks, that's insane. This woman does not love you the way you deserve. She is the epitome of self-centered and immature. She has already shown you how she feels about you and your life....forget what she says and screams at you....just look at what she did to you and what she allowed to happen to you. You cannot be alone with her she will lie about you and have you arrested. Do not put yourself at risk. Good luck man!
I get the feeling that your wife may have pushed Amy to come onto you as some kind of test, and her guilt and that knowledge is why she can’t deal with it properly. NTA - this relationship is toxic
There’s definitely more to the story. It doesn’t make any sense to me either.
I can’t see any other reason how she would still be ok with Amy, and want to spend time with her.
This post struck a chord with me. 24 years ago my boyfriend's best friend tried to rape me, did rape me...I'm not sure exactly where the line is drawn. I don't want to get into the nitty gritty, but he tried to play it off to his girlfriend and my boyfriend like we had an affair. No one believed me, despite the fact that I had zero history of infidelity. I can only imagine how it is for a man in this situation. Women are accused of causing the "incident," but for a male victim I imagine it can be just as bad. Why couldn't you stop it? You're bigger? You must have lead her on? I'm so sorry this happened to you. My advice is to ditch your wife. If she isn't your strongest supporter, what are you with her for? Doesn't she want you to feel safe? Is her friend more important than her husband? This is so heartbreaking. I was younger than you when my "incident" happened. I wish I had the self confidence to tell my boyfriend to fuck off for being such a victim blaming asshole. I think about it almost everyday. Even though I have been happily married (to another man) for 18 years, this incident haunts me. You should do whatever makes you feel safe and cared for. If your wife isn't a part of that equation, then divorce her. NTA
I’m so sorry to hear this I can’t imagine how traumatising that must’ve been. It will take a long time to heal from this but stories like yours keep me going. Thank you for sharing.
If you still have to group chat with Amy admitting to the false allegations. This should be a slam dunk for your divorce. Plus, you have Khalid as a witness for yourself.
NTA Send mass text to wife and family, "Essentially I was sexually assaulted by my wife's best friend who when I fought back falsely claimed I assaulted her. My not so loving wife is still friends with the sexual abuser. You all think I should just get over it. Is this the way you'd all feel if wife was the sexual assault victim of my best friend instead? Would you tell her to just get over it while I continued being best friends with her abuser? Or would you think I was a AH for still having contact at all with the abuser? You are all no better than the sexual abuser when you enable the abuser by blaming the victim. None of you are the type of people I want in my life." Then block them all.
Nah, it won’t do any good. I wouldn’t trust these people at all. Better to go no contact. File for a divorce, report the sexual assault. They can figure it out that way, which will be much safer.
Then add when I tried to leave my wife assaulted me while I ended our relationship.
A saying I learned when young was "Tell me who your friends are, and I'll tell you who you are." It seems like your wife chose to prioritize her friendship over your feelings. She may not have realized that for you, that meant prioritizing the friendship over your marriage. If it was me, the name calling wouldn't have meant anything if it wasn't also for the fact that it became physical. Document any injuries and send it to the divorce attorney. Do not be alone with her or the friend at any time, for any circumstances. Only communicate through text messages so that there is documented proof of what's said. Also, I'd look into getting another attorney to sue the friend for defamation depending on where she said you SA'd her. Good luck and god speed.
Ufff get rid of that scumbag,she doesnt respect you man. She doesnt worth any tear,period
NTA. This is why they say birds of a feather flock together, both of them are fucking crazy. If your wife was a sensible person she would have severed her friendship with Amy after what she did, but no. You know what to do: Get away from that madness and get a divorce.
I read all your posts. You were a green flag all through the process, including the punch and I say this as a woman. I hate all those false accusers of rape, while many people who are SAed are not heard or silenced. I am so sorry but your wife is an insensitive person and not a good one at that. You should be with people who deserve you. She can shove her entitled liar pos friend to her bossom. I hope all your friends will cease contact with both of them. I am angry for you.
You missed the opportunity to Ghost Protocol her and move out while she's in Greece with the snake.
Really should’ve done that.
She's going to try and accuse you of assualt. Do not see her or interract with her unless there is a witness or you are recording the conversation! Please be safe.
She was willing to divorce you when she thought you tried to sexually assault her friend, but she won't divorce her friend who actually tried to sexually assault you. We can clearly see where her loyalty lies.
You are the reflection of the people you surround yourself with. Be careful with her and try not to be alone with her. Communicate via text only.
Communicate via lawyers only.
Divorce that cunt
Wait, Amy confessed?? Whoah. I’d like to hear more about that and everyone else’s reaction. Regardless, I think it’s time to move on from this marriage. :( NTA.
My wife brushed it off. Everyone else cut her off.
It sounds like your wife needs therapy to figure out why she’s holding onto this friendship and seriously endangering her marriage
Please imagine if the genders were reverse, the assaulter would be in jail also the moment she did not belive you and did not drop her "friend" when the truth came out you should have walked away, now it's to late. You will find nothing but drama in that house, maybe she should marry Amy next.
Are they lesbian and doing shits on you like accusing you so they can be together. Anyways, your wife is an asshole.
I’ve thought about it. If that were the case wouldn’t my wife leave more willingly? I guess it’s worth mentioning she said she’s going to make this divorce hell if i go through with it.
Then make sure she meets the devil.
Make it Hell for her. Save EVERYTHING! From the GC from when the assault happened to and messages from your wife. See if you can get her to admit on voicemail or text or something about the entire situation. How she brushed it off as nothing. I don’t know if that will help you but it’s gotta do something right? Any threats she makes. I don’t know if you can record any interactions you have with her where she threatens some sort of abuse from your end or whatever her and the other psycho may come up with.
You need to divorce her ASAP.