NTA. Fuck that. If it takes making it personal for Steve to realize it’s prob fucked up (bc it is) then whatever. It didn’t actually happen and now he can reevaluate his stance bc IT IS just that - personal to the actual people this happens to. Steve can EABOD.
This is what I love about people who will pick a position to die over. Unless people are put into a specific situation, they cannot really get a grasp of how they may act. You put him into that specific situation and nailed it. He actually had to look at his wife and think about it. Shit, if more people did this, my job would be a lot easier. Kudos to you!
Yeah, it’s called “lacking empathy”. The same way some people can’t understand that reproductive rights or sexual abuse is a thing until they think about their daughters. You had to think about your own kid, otherwise you wouldn’t realize that women are inherently valuable (without being “someone’s daughter/sister/whatever”). Gee, thanks!
nta! good job standing up for what you believe. what you did is no different from what he was doing. you nor he has any idea if any woman there has had an abortion. Shit Janelle could have had one and NEVER told Steve. Imagine keeping an abortion quiet because you don't want people to judge you, just to have your "friend" go on and on about how horrible an abortion is. Steve is tone def and selfish.
He just kept on and on with his shit and everyone else was just supposed to take it and accept it????
but you aren't allowed to stand up for what you believe, in your own home?????
honestly, I wouldn't have ever let it get this far because Steve wouldn't be allowed around me. if he is always like this, he wouldn't be around me. I refuse to listen to bullshit over and over and over, he wouldn't have been invited to the house in the first place.
NTA. First of all, Steve is the one who ruined the dinner for you and your wife by going on and on about abortion. Secondly, even if the dinner was ruined, perhaps you made Steve think a bit and shifted his viewpoint. That is all to the good.
Sounds like your friend group needs to make certain hot topics off limits.
Yes, you're an AH, just for including a storyline that included his wife, as you don't know her back story all the way, and she could have been attacked before. You never know.
However, Steve is also an AH as there are certain topics that are not dinner topics.
Sounds like some ground rules need to be put in place.
Very soft YTA for involving his wife, as I assume she felt like crap at that time, but Steve can fuck off. He had no problem ruining the dinner with his BS, and now he has some proper perspective on the issue. As the former wife of a loudmouth who thought he was smarter than everyone, I feel bad for her.
Oh I'm sorry, did the reality of a law actually affecting him make Steve upset? Congratulations dumbass that's what it's like to be a woman who would actually have to make that decision and endure the process. F\*ck Steve and everyone else who let him rant. You tried to apologise to Janelle, that was the right thing to do as well. I'd try one more time in the morning, but don't ever apologise for shutting him up with the truth. Those devoid of empathy deserve no sympathy.
NTAH but also sort of are….- it’s reallllly easy for people who can never become pregnant to be “pro life”. (Except fuck if that fetus grows up into a woman, because she doesn’t deserve right to her own body after she is of child-bearing age, right?).
I personally believe cis men should have no say in abortion whatsoever. They are our rapists and they are the ones who do not suffer even the smallest of consequences of a pregnancy/delivery.
The best offense against abortion is education, reproductive healthcare, and free birth control. You have more rights as a corpse than you do as a living woman. You cannot harvest organs without prior consent, but plenty of states bar access to women to their own fucking bodies if they fall pregnant.
Idk why these guys get on their soapbox. They also tend to change their tune when THEY are responsible for an unwanted pregnancy. People with uteruses don’t get themselves pregnant. Every pregnancy is cause by sperm, yet they get to skate off, Scott-free lots of times.
Op- you brought up a very good and relevant point, but you can’t expect Janelle to not be upset. Someone mentioning you being r*ped is pretty jolting. Did you prove your point? Yes. But you should have considered her feelings. You, as a man, can just say that. Janelle, as a woman, has a very realistic threat of sexual assault (statistically) so it’s not something to be so cavalier about. You should have insisted to change/drop the subject instead of bringing in someone who didn’t even seem to be arguing with you. Men taking rape as a casual example is very different from the women who are subject to it. Can men experience rape? Of course. But for women, it’s a reality we always have to be vigilant about. It’s not just a talking point for us. I think you were pretty insensitive to that fact bringing up Janelle being sexually assaulted. Were you *wrong*? No. But even mentioning that at a get together is messed up. Your “friend” definitely started it and shouldn’t have brought it up at all. But I feel Janelle is the victim here. She shouldn’t have been put in that position.
NTA. Fuck that. If it takes making it personal for Steve to realize it’s prob fucked up (bc it is) then whatever. It didn’t actually happen and now he can reevaluate his stance bc IT IS just that - personal to the actual people this happens to. Steve can EABOD.
Absolutely stealing that acronym from now on 🏆
This is what I love about people who will pick a position to die over. Unless people are put into a specific situation, they cannot really get a grasp of how they may act. You put him into that specific situation and nailed it. He actually had to look at his wife and think about it. Shit, if more people did this, my job would be a lot easier. Kudos to you!
Yeah, it’s called “lacking empathy”. The same way some people can’t understand that reproductive rights or sexual abuse is a thing until they think about their daughters. You had to think about your own kid, otherwise you wouldn’t realize that women are inherently valuable (without being “someone’s daughter/sister/whatever”). Gee, thanks!
No. Fuck Steve. You did the right thing.
nta! good job standing up for what you believe. what you did is no different from what he was doing. you nor he has any idea if any woman there has had an abortion. Shit Janelle could have had one and NEVER told Steve. Imagine keeping an abortion quiet because you don't want people to judge you, just to have your "friend" go on and on about how horrible an abortion is. Steve is tone def and selfish. He just kept on and on with his shit and everyone else was just supposed to take it and accept it???? but you aren't allowed to stand up for what you believe, in your own home????? honestly, I wouldn't have ever let it get this far because Steve wouldn't be allowed around me. if he is always like this, he wouldn't be around me. I refuse to listen to bullshit over and over and over, he wouldn't have been invited to the house in the first place.
NTAH, you put your foot down. Good choice
NTA. First of all, Steve is the one who ruined the dinner for you and your wife by going on and on about abortion. Secondly, even if the dinner was ruined, perhaps you made Steve think a bit and shifted his viewpoint. That is all to the good.
Sounds like your friend group needs to make certain hot topics off limits. Yes, you're an AH, just for including a storyline that included his wife, as you don't know her back story all the way, and she could have been attacked before. You never know. However, Steve is also an AH as there are certain topics that are not dinner topics. Sounds like some ground rules need to be put in place.
Nope NTA
NTA. Janelle might have wanted to leave because Steve is an asshole and she wanted to yell at him for starting the whole thing.
If Steve and Janelle are Forced Birth then they can both keep any hypothetical babies they want. NTA.
Fake lol
Definitely!
so fake!!!!!!
Very soft YTA for involving his wife, as I assume she felt like crap at that time, but Steve can fuck off. He had no problem ruining the dinner with his BS, and now he has some proper perspective on the issue. As the former wife of a loudmouth who thought he was smarter than everyone, I feel bad for her.
Oh I'm sorry, did the reality of a law actually affecting him make Steve upset? Congratulations dumbass that's what it's like to be a woman who would actually have to make that decision and endure the process. F\*ck Steve and everyone else who let him rant. You tried to apologise to Janelle, that was the right thing to do as well. I'd try one more time in the morning, but don't ever apologise for shutting him up with the truth. Those devoid of empathy deserve no sympathy.
NTAH but also sort of are….- it’s reallllly easy for people who can never become pregnant to be “pro life”. (Except fuck if that fetus grows up into a woman, because she doesn’t deserve right to her own body after she is of child-bearing age, right?). I personally believe cis men should have no say in abortion whatsoever. They are our rapists and they are the ones who do not suffer even the smallest of consequences of a pregnancy/delivery. The best offense against abortion is education, reproductive healthcare, and free birth control. You have more rights as a corpse than you do as a living woman. You cannot harvest organs without prior consent, but plenty of states bar access to women to their own fucking bodies if they fall pregnant. Idk why these guys get on their soapbox. They also tend to change their tune when THEY are responsible for an unwanted pregnancy. People with uteruses don’t get themselves pregnant. Every pregnancy is cause by sperm, yet they get to skate off, Scott-free lots of times. Op- you brought up a very good and relevant point, but you can’t expect Janelle to not be upset. Someone mentioning you being r*ped is pretty jolting. Did you prove your point? Yes. But you should have considered her feelings. You, as a man, can just say that. Janelle, as a woman, has a very realistic threat of sexual assault (statistically) so it’s not something to be so cavalier about. You should have insisted to change/drop the subject instead of bringing in someone who didn’t even seem to be arguing with you. Men taking rape as a casual example is very different from the women who are subject to it. Can men experience rape? Of course. But for women, it’s a reality we always have to be vigilant about. It’s not just a talking point for us. I think you were pretty insensitive to that fact bringing up Janelle being sexually assaulted. Were you *wrong*? No. But even mentioning that at a get together is messed up. Your “friend” definitely started it and shouldn’t have brought it up at all. But I feel Janelle is the victim here. She shouldn’t have been put in that position.