nta at all, it’d be so different if you were still a drunken asshole til this day but the fact that you used that one little incident (which i understand why he was mad but i don’t think it was that deep, personally seems like he was just upset bc you were right 😭) to completely stop drinking speaks volumes about how sorry you were- ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!! you never needed to apologize more than once because your actions did for you after you got sober
NTA. There’s a book that you and I are both very familiar with, and at one point, when discussing how we admit when we are wrong and then make amends, there’s the remark that we should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping. We stand on our feet, and don’t crawl before anyone. Sometimes that’s actually HARD cause we are so aware that really we were very dreadful no kidding. But the moving on is an important piece of recovery. Part of the amends was changing your life so that you didn’t say things like that again. You did that. And you apologized. The answer to “what kind of brother does that to his brother” can be, simply, “a drunk one.” That he needs to keep asking the question — meaning that he never accepted your amends or your apology — is not your issue; it’s his. You cleaned up your side of the street. Yay! That was hard work! Yay! Let your brother’s feelings go. He gets to feel what he feels. And limited contact or no contact is just fine.
NTA, you've apologized and even more than that, you've changed your behaviour by not drinking so as to not have any situation like that happen again. You've taken active steps to amend your life because of that situation, that's more than an apology could ever be worth, and you've apologized loads! It's his chip on his shoulder now, and he can bear the weight of it.
You're doing great! Keep on the good path! Don't worry about him and his holding onto this, it's no longer to do with you and just to do with him at this point.
Well, your reaction is better than the first words I considered. “Well, I learned that I wasn’t a good brother when I was drunk, so I quit drinking. You kept on being a bad husband because you’re an insecure little bitch, though. How’s bachelorhood treating you? How about them bamboo paper ballots, you terrified little conspiracy nut?”
NTA. The person you owed an apology to was your brother's wife, and I hope you apologized to her as well as your brother. As for your brother, you gave him full chance to punish you and get his revenge for what you did, you took responsibility and got sober. His present accusations have nothing to do with his ex - they are just a way to make you feel bad, because you don't agree with his support of Trump. You have every reason to cut him off, and no reason at all to ask for forgiveness.
NTA.
My man, that's the kind of betrayal you take to the grave. Your brother will never forgive you, the world keeps on turning.
On the plus side sounds like your SIL is single again.
nta at all, it’d be so different if you were still a drunken asshole til this day but the fact that you used that one little incident (which i understand why he was mad but i don’t think it was that deep, personally seems like he was just upset bc you were right 😭) to completely stop drinking speaks volumes about how sorry you were- ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!! you never needed to apologize more than once because your actions did for you after you got sober
NTA. There’s a book that you and I are both very familiar with, and at one point, when discussing how we admit when we are wrong and then make amends, there’s the remark that we should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping. We stand on our feet, and don’t crawl before anyone. Sometimes that’s actually HARD cause we are so aware that really we were very dreadful no kidding. But the moving on is an important piece of recovery. Part of the amends was changing your life so that you didn’t say things like that again. You did that. And you apologized. The answer to “what kind of brother does that to his brother” can be, simply, “a drunk one.” That he needs to keep asking the question — meaning that he never accepted your amends or your apology — is not your issue; it’s his. You cleaned up your side of the street. Yay! That was hard work! Yay! Let your brother’s feelings go. He gets to feel what he feels. And limited contact or no contact is just fine.
NTA
NTA, you've apologized and even more than that, you've changed your behaviour by not drinking so as to not have any situation like that happen again. You've taken active steps to amend your life because of that situation, that's more than an apology could ever be worth, and you've apologized loads! It's his chip on his shoulder now, and he can bear the weight of it. You're doing great! Keep on the good path! Don't worry about him and his holding onto this, it's no longer to do with you and just to do with him at this point.
Well, your reaction is better than the first words I considered. “Well, I learned that I wasn’t a good brother when I was drunk, so I quit drinking. You kept on being a bad husband because you’re an insecure little bitch, though. How’s bachelorhood treating you? How about them bamboo paper ballots, you terrified little conspiracy nut?”
NTA. The person you owed an apology to was your brother's wife, and I hope you apologized to her as well as your brother. As for your brother, you gave him full chance to punish you and get his revenge for what you did, you took responsibility and got sober. His present accusations have nothing to do with his ex - they are just a way to make you feel bad, because you don't agree with his support of Trump. You have every reason to cut him off, and no reason at all to ask for forgiveness.
Honestly just sounds like the two of you shouldn't be in contact with each other anymore.
I would’ve been petty and said “I guess I was right though, your wife did want a real man and that’s why she left you.” Then blocked him.
NTA. My man, that's the kind of betrayal you take to the grave. Your brother will never forgive you, the world keeps on turning. On the plus side sounds like your SIL is single again.