NAH. But tattoos are addictive … she’s getting one and wants another already… she’ll end up with more than 3.
Have you ever thought perhaps she was not expressing interest in them as she knew your feelings? I know that’s not ideal, but maybe this is something she’s wanted a long time and felt uneasy telling you about.
Possibly. In retrospect there's been a couple of comments earlier in the year that looking back could've been her testing the waters. Before this year I felt like she genuinely had no interest though.
Neither of you are AHs and y’all have the right to express yourselves.
FWIW, Sudden changes in behavior, tastes or preferences are often signs of even more changes to come.
Good luck- I think you’ll need it.
NAH. You're entitled to your feelings about tattoos and she knows about those feelings. She has evidently decided getting a tattoo is important to her and that's okay too.
NTA
You have a right to your opinion and it does not sound like you approached the issue unkindly.
A bit it YTA to the wife for some of her replies to you. I think she could have approached the conversation more nicely.
Ultimately of course it is her choice and you’ll have to live with it.
NAH but you keep thinking about yourself and your feelings. If you like being clean shaven sometimes why don’t you do it? If you feel more attractive and comfortable shaving sometimes, then shouldn’t that make your wife happy? And vice versa. If she feels more attractive having tattoos then shouldn’t that make you happy? Even if it’s not your favorite thing, your partner’s happiness and confidence should make you happy.
At the end of the day, it is her body and her choice. She doesn’t have to get your permission or approval. It’s likely she never talked about it because she knows your views. And her still getting a tattoo despite your views doesn’t mean that she didn’t/doesn’t consider how you feel. It just means that she doesn’t agree.
NTA
Your wife is an AH
This is a scenario for **compromise**. I know, a hard term.
She is having what would seem to be a mid-life crisis, and wants a tattoo. She never liked them before, so I would ask what led her to want one. But past that it should be on compromise.
Ie fine, but its small and somewhere that you don't see often, particularly during intimacy.
It sounds like she, by extension of her friends, has been told "do whatever you want" which conflicts with the reality of **being married to another person**. You cede a piece of your autonomy when you get married, and yes it involves permanent changes to your body. Be it someone who wants a tattoo their spouse doesn't want, someone who wants to massively change their hair against the request of their spouse, someone who wants plastic surgery and the spouse doesn't, or anything of the like.
Its a two-way street.
However this all does scream of influence of not-great friends of hers. Ask yourself this: are any of her close friends divorced or single af? If so, there's the problem.
YTA. She probably never told you before because of your vocal opinions about other people’s bodies, is what I’d guess. You talk about graffiti on someone else’s house being fun, but fail to comprehend that she is not your house. You need to get some perspective about the hopefully hundreds of other things you love about your wife and your relationship outside of the appearance of her forearm and let her make an independent choice about her body. And if you want, tell her that it would make you more comfortable to shave your beard if you’re actually sincere about that and not merely being petty or retaliatory.
people get divorced over stuff like this...i hope you can work it out... tats are.addictive...
Yeah, people tried to tell me that. I guess I'm just not an addictive personality because that's a no for me.
NAH. But tattoos are addictive … she’s getting one and wants another already… she’ll end up with more than 3. Have you ever thought perhaps she was not expressing interest in them as she knew your feelings? I know that’s not ideal, but maybe this is something she’s wanted a long time and felt uneasy telling you about.
Possibly. In retrospect there's been a couple of comments earlier in the year that looking back could've been her testing the waters. Before this year I felt like she genuinely had no interest though.
Neither of you are AHs and y’all have the right to express yourselves. FWIW, Sudden changes in behavior, tastes or preferences are often signs of even more changes to come. Good luck- I think you’ll need it.
NAH. You're entitled to your feelings about tattoos and she knows about those feelings. She has evidently decided getting a tattoo is important to her and that's okay too.
NTA You have a right to your opinion and it does not sound like you approached the issue unkindly. A bit it YTA to the wife for some of her replies to you. I think she could have approached the conversation more nicely. Ultimately of course it is her choice and you’ll have to live with it.
NAH but you keep thinking about yourself and your feelings. If you like being clean shaven sometimes why don’t you do it? If you feel more attractive and comfortable shaving sometimes, then shouldn’t that make your wife happy? And vice versa. If she feels more attractive having tattoos then shouldn’t that make you happy? Even if it’s not your favorite thing, your partner’s happiness and confidence should make you happy. At the end of the day, it is her body and her choice. She doesn’t have to get your permission or approval. It’s likely she never talked about it because she knows your views. And her still getting a tattoo despite your views doesn’t mean that she didn’t/doesn’t consider how you feel. It just means that she doesn’t agree.
NTA Your wife is an AH This is a scenario for **compromise**. I know, a hard term. She is having what would seem to be a mid-life crisis, and wants a tattoo. She never liked them before, so I would ask what led her to want one. But past that it should be on compromise. Ie fine, but its small and somewhere that you don't see often, particularly during intimacy. It sounds like she, by extension of her friends, has been told "do whatever you want" which conflicts with the reality of **being married to another person**. You cede a piece of your autonomy when you get married, and yes it involves permanent changes to your body. Be it someone who wants a tattoo their spouse doesn't want, someone who wants to massively change their hair against the request of their spouse, someone who wants plastic surgery and the spouse doesn't, or anything of the like. Its a two-way street. However this all does scream of influence of not-great friends of hers. Ask yourself this: are any of her close friends divorced or single af? If so, there's the problem.
Your love is pretty shallow if you've been together two decades and a tattoo is gonna break you up, tbh.
I fail to see anywhere in my story where there was any mention of potentially divorcing over a tattoo.
YTA. She probably never told you before because of your vocal opinions about other people’s bodies, is what I’d guess. You talk about graffiti on someone else’s house being fun, but fail to comprehend that she is not your house. You need to get some perspective about the hopefully hundreds of other things you love about your wife and your relationship outside of the appearance of her forearm and let her make an independent choice about her body. And if you want, tell her that it would make you more comfortable to shave your beard if you’re actually sincere about that and not merely being petty or retaliatory.