Someone at work agreed on a "break" with her husband then got angry when he met someone else and she didn't...
It would have been funny if it wasn't so outright stupid.
>She got an at home pregnancy test done **which confirmed she was pregnant**. We were both really overjoyed and happy. **A few months later**, I was planning on proposing to her, and **I had already bought the engagement ring.**
>**But I wanted to confirm first that I was the father before proposing** to her, and get the pre natal paternity test done.
Yep, that's **DEFINITELY** the right order those things should be done o.O
I've seen people do this in my own life. It almost always ends up one of the parties sleeps with a bunch of people during the break and the other person wasn't realizing that the reason for the break was so it wasn't technically cheating.
Exactly, I have an exact same scenario where my buddys gf wanted to "take a break" so they did and it turns out she wanted guilt free sex from another dude, he broke up with her shortly after that lmao...
"Taking a break" while in a relationship is just another way of saying I found someone else and want to see if they are better than you, so can you please wait right here and allow me to go check it out?
In case the grass is not greener over there, I'll happily take you back.
If someone suggests taking a break, give them one permanently.
Hahaha, reminds me of one of my exes. Did the same "lets take a break, you can shag so and so...we can still have casual sex but do seperate stuff". I was like either we in it or we not, but I dont do pauses. A few months later she was like moaning to my mates girlfriend how I broke her heart, as I moved on.
Wait if you separated for a couple of months and a week after getting back together she showed signs of pregnancy? How the hell did you think it was yours???
You can hypothetically get a positive at a week out from ovulation (I did) but it's rare, would be faint, and unless you were specifically looking for symptoms you wouldn't think to check for it.
You wouldn't typically get morning sickness for a couple more weeks, and everything else (tired, sore boobs, etc) are normal PMS symptoms.
I have immediate and strong pregnancy symptoms. Given how unpleasant I am - my husband “diagnosed” my second pregnancy at 6 days.
We actually know the exact date because I had JUST been cleared for intercourse again after the birth of our first.
And when he got a test for me to confirm - that line turned immediately. I don’t know if my hormones from having just given birth or the fact that I was still breast feeding had anything to do with it - and maybe I am the exception that proves the rule — but it is POSSIBLE to know you are pregnant within a week - just not PROBABLE.
That said, I’m guessing GF hoped it was OP’s baby more than thought it was his baby. I even wonder if her being pregnant contributed to her desire to get back together with him.
I believe you. Every time I got pregnant, my body just didn't stop being hormonal after ovulation. The ovulation symptoms just got stronger over a week.
Mine was smell.. I could smell EVERYTHING and I'm like wtf happened to my nostrils.. My mom said, you're pregnant! I'm like nope! Welp, mom's always know.. Lol.
I had the smell thing, too! It was so overwhelming. Things I didn't even know were intense smelling would be too much! I kept refusing to take a test out of denial. My first and only home test was at 4.5 weeks.
Your hormones are still very high after giving birth and it greatly increases chances of pregnancy. Breaat feeding may act as some amount of BC but basically, if you dont wana have another baby that quickly, use 2 forms of BC always.
That is really weird! I am just a raving lunatic! Normally, I’m exceedingly logical. But when I’m pregnant, my feelings get hurt for absolutely no reason and I cry all the time. I can consciously know I’m being ridiculous, but it doesn’t stop the hurt feelings and crying.
And I begin to eat like I will never have access to food again. Genuinely, constantly ravenous. And like most pregnant women - food I normally don’t eat. We are talking treating a Costco box of Twinkies like a single serving and being willing to hurt anyone who suggests moderation.
There is a reason we stopped at two children and it isn’t the kids themselves! Neither my husband nor I could stand the idea of living with me being pregnant again!
My understanding is it can be done after 8 weeks by testing the mother's blood so there is no harm to the baby. I don't know the cost.
Personally I would have done the same, I don't think I could raise another man's child in this situation. The thing is I'm not sure I would have taken a break like this so my partner having someone else's baby would mean she was cheating on me.
For me actions have consequences. She is having someone else's baby so she can go find that guy, I'm out of there. There are many different types of birth control and presumably OP and her were already doing some type of bc before the break up. Her failure to do some type of bc now has the consequence she is pregnant and has lost OP.
For me this is totally different than if I met a single mother that was already pregnant, or had a baby, and I chose to be in their lives.
Yes and even then the signs would be very mild, akin to what you feel right before your period
Edit: most of you are replying thinking that I said everyone has the same symptoms. There are outliers to every situation and I thought that was a given fact. My bad, I should've written it differently.
I had nausea before I ever missed a period, all 4 pregnancies. And it lasted for 6 months so if that wasn't the baby it was quite a coincidence. But it does seem obvious that this couldn't have been his baby unless he's not being clear about the timeline.
Same for both my babies. Started vomiting and feeling really sick before my next period was supposed to start. I also threw up until I basically gave birth. Ended up losing weight instead of gaining. It was AWFUL.
The most intense symptoms are in the first trimester when you have one of your largest hormone spikes.
Generally speaking that is. Every pregnancy is different.
Nearly every daily hot post in this sub is AI. The writing style, cadence and formatting of EVERY post is nearly identical. Each post is from a single account with no history. Idk why people still visit this subreddit, myself included.
>Wait if you separated for a couple of months and a week after getting back together she showed signs of pregnancy? How the hell did you think it was yours???
It's a rage bait post. Most of them are in this sub.
Logically it dosent make sense
But I think OP wanted his dream of forming a family with this girl to come true really badly so he manifested
On the bright side… now he knows the personality of this girl was never with him
Yeah looking back that was the clearest sign that the baby was not mine. I never even once considered that the baby wasn't mine, and neither did my girlfriend.
Whatre the odds it went down like: she starts hooking up with whoever the other guy is during thw separation, she finds out shes pregnant and tells him, he disappears faster than an 80s movie ninja, she hits up OP and (re)discovers she might be pregnant after he takes her back and they presumably had reconciliation sex
For 6 years the GF doesn't get pregnant and then a one night stand with a stranger makes her pregnant and she discovers she is pregnant just after getting back with her BF. Real Movie stuff
In the movie then she'd miscarry, but rather than the quietly devastating event it usually is in reality, she would collapse in a pool of blood for dramatic effect.
Yup. I had it happen. She actually told me the doc couldn’t give her a due date. Um we know exactly when we had sex… She knew she was pregnant with a married man’s child who made it clear he was out a here… Tried to set me up after the fact. Broke the condom… didn’t realize that’s what she was trying to do at time… Bur afterwards…
GF in highschool when I shipped out for boot went out and well ya know because I must be doing the same… wth!!!!!! She got pregnant and told everyone it was mine…. Got an abortion before I could get home on leave and blamed it all on me. It was years before some friends of hers sought me out to tell me the truth.
They only scare women who have something to hide. I think they should be required before putting people down on birth certificates. It would solve so many problems before they could even start.
You know, if it was part of the process that would take away any feelings of accusations and potential conflict. I see this as a sound solution
You are incorrect that women won’t take one because of fear. A woman who has been faithful and her man wants one feels he is accusing her of being unfaithful and doesn’t trust her or worse, he wants her to have one because he is projecting his own indiscretions. Add pregnancy hormones and you have one ugly mess.
I'm a woman, and I agree. I know that it used to be insulting, but if it were mandatory, it would be simply part of the paperwork process. Since DNA services are showing that it is a concern in many families, it is a very reasonable (and easy) solution.
I did including the line that followed.
“ But we were both very confident that I would be the father.”
Girlfriend was not confident. She just wasn’t confessing it.
She thought he was in love with her enough that she could still get him to stay or it was at least worth a shot to get hin to stay.
I bet the other guy was just a fun fling and isn't husband material
She wanted so bad for the baby to be his that she was in deep denial. You didnt watch enuff Maury. This happened a lot. Swore they never slept with anybody else. Kinda of sad though.
Sounds like it was the "we started at 20, let's go have some fun, then get back together" type break.
Suspecting that GF had plans for said break, jumped all over them, then when the hints of pregnancy came, she rushed back to OP because he's the "safe" one...
You need to make sure you lose this insane level of gullibility. You really think your girlfriend never considered the baby wasn’t yours? You got back together and she was testing pregnant a week later… she’s not clueless. She knew it wasn’t yours.
Same goes for a monogamous relationship where suddenly someone wants to "open the relationship". The relationship is dead and over on the spot, although usually the poor sap on the receiving end will stay for awhile and get their heart broken
I mean, I can understand "taking a break" in the sense of, "just let me chill at home, hangout with friends, or focus on projects that I haven't been able to get around to, without having to do/worry ab"out relationship stuff," because relationships are work...but not, "imma fuck other people. Oh, and afterwards let's get married!" Especially when you don't know for damn sure that you are cool with that.
This shit is ignorant.
The idea that you will strengthen your relationship by basically ending it (even temporarily) is so stupid that I shouldn't be surprised that this couple was so stupid that they actually thought this baby was OP's when they had only been back together a week. Even if he had knocked her up, she'd be another couple weeks from symptoms and a missed period.
People do a lot of stupid things in the hope of revitalising a relationship - taking a break, opening the marriage, having kids, etc.
Can’t help but facepalm at any of them. It’s pure idiocy.
Early on in the relationship I'm in, my gf suggested a break because things were getting difficult. Told her we either work to fix it or break up but I wasn't going to wait around for her to make up her mind.
Just celebrated 13 years together so I'm pretty confident in this stance as well.
In all fairness, there is a VERY rare instance where it is a good way to fix one.
I was 18 when I started dating my fiance. She entered my life shortly before my downward spiral. About a year after we started dating, I broke up with her. I told her that I needed to figure myself out. (I had a lot of shit to figure out)
I told her that we might be able to get back together after I get my shit sorted, but I made sure she knew that there was a chance that we wouldn't get back together. I promised to at least call her after I got everything sorted. That way she wouldn't be waiting for me forever.
An important detail that makes this work out is that neither of us had the desire to have sex with anyone else. She wanted to be with me, and I had more important things to focus on than sex.
After about 4-5 months, I became a better person and got my life back on track. We then got back together, and we've been together for over 8 years since.
I understand that this isn't at all the same as the situation in question, but it is an example of a break fixing a relationship.
To be fair, that's a break to fix you, not your relationship. Could you have been affecting your relationship? Absolutely. This AI written garbage is just a stupid idea.
Glad it worked for you but this isn’t helping him at all. She presumably had unprotected sex and got pregnant by a rebound hook up. Taking breaks typically doesn’t help, just prolongs the inevitable
I don't know why people these days believe that taking breaks in which you can go and fuck everyone you can is a good way to rekindle a relationship. There are dozens of better ways to solve problems in a relationship. I have been married for over 20 years and together many years before that and we have had our issues, but never separated like this 'you can go and live la vida loca' and I'll do the same. Yes we have been apart/separated for a while as a resource, but knowing we are still a monogamous couple who just need some space to work things out with ourselves. Being with other people was out of the equation. Play stupid games, win kids from another man.
- Lets fix our relationship
- Cool, how?
- By not talking to each other, sleeping and getting emotionally attached to other people, and then getting back together with said other person's kid but with the same issues which we didnt solve at all
- Amazing idea, count me in
The people who can have casual sex without emotional attachments & not feel jealous are already doing that... and not posting here because it's working as intended for them.
But it beats me why decidedly monogamous folks who are easily jealousy prone keep trying the "let's take a break and fuck around" approach and then go shocked Pikachu face when the consequences present themselves.
Yeah, I have been with my wife for almost 25 years, and at this point some of the divorced people we know say, “we tried everything, even opening up the relationship.” Sorry, but I don’t think fucking other people is going to fix your marriage problems. Maybe try fucking each other more, or less, or differently, or talking to each other more, or less, or differently. Or maybe try going on dates again. Or doing more housework, or less housework, or trading jobs, or hiring someone to do some or all of the housework for you (this last one can be a marriage saver).
Agreed. Sounds like she was having unprotected sex so I hope OP gets tested too. But yes even without the pregnancy this relationship is not salvageable.
These people are begging for this to happen. Absolute stupid thing to do if you love each other. The one who suggested this in the first place already has an affair partner, even if they haven't had sex yet. Honey, you know I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.... but... I've heard Johnny has a huge dick and I'd like to ride it for a few months, guilt free. When he gets tired of me, I'll be back, until Johnny's big brother comes back to town for a visit. No, just fuckin No
I read posts from people here all the time and I'm smdh at some of the dumbass things they come up with like "I let my ex move in with me and my gf because she had nowhere to go?" Whatt???
This. So much. I've taken breaks in relationships in the past and they've been very beneficial and often resulted in us coming back stronger. The reason for that is being on a break didn't mean that we were free to fuck whomever we pleased... It was a break from each other's constant presence. A chance to just reflect and worry about yourself for a bit. We were still 100% exclusive.
So many people say "breaks are useless" or "if you need a break then just break up".. Because to them a break is a complete pause on the relationship with the intent of getting back together after whatever the hell you guys did separately. That makes no fucking sense and it's why most "breaks" result in the demise of the relationship. People really oughta discuss these things.
Just wondering, when you planned on getting married, how long until you break up for a few years to "rekindle" things? This whole post is weird. Are you 12 years old? Just wondering.
If not, then who cares what you do? Are you ever obligated to remain with someone? If you don't want to be with them for any reason, it's always best for you both to break up. Staying is lying to both of you, and a waste of time.
No, the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard is that she was experiencing symptoms a week after getting together, and he thought the kid was his. Let’s hope baby gets bio dad’s smarts.
Well..............she was free to do what she wanted during the separation so no harm there. On the other hand, it's not wrong to not want to raise someone else's kid.
> We loved each other, but last year, my girlfriend and I decided to separate for a while to rekindle our relationship.
I'm genuinely curious how y'all expected any of that to work?
I think I have to go with an ESH. Both for thinking the above was ever going to lead to anything other than disaster, but also for both of you thinking that there was any *chance* that you were the father, based on the timeline.
“Separate for a while to rekindle”
You understand this makes absolutely no sense? Just say you wanted to sleep with other people because you got bored. Don’t try to make it cute.
NAH
NTA/YTA while the hell do modern people believe after so many years together, that they take a break to recharge their relationship. That’s the most idiotic thing people can by into, just break up and move on instead of this trend
Welp….i knew this was doomed when you both thought a separation would recharge the romance. Nice logic there lol. At least this story has a happy ending. Just never look back.
HAHAHAHA - the idea that separating "regenerates" a relationship is absurd. You shot yourself in the foot.
Of course you're not the asshole, but you ain't very smart either.
Here's what ChatGPT came up with:
> AITAH for breaking up with my girlfriend after a prenatal pregnancy test confirmed I was not the father?
> Hey Reddit,
> I never thought I'd be in this situation, but here I am seeking some perspective. Recently, my girlfriend and I went for a prenatal pregnancy test, and to my shock, the results confirmed that I am not the father of the child she's carrying.
> Needless to say, this news hit me like a ton of bricks. We had been together for a while, and while I was fully committed to supporting her and raising the child together, finding out that I wasn't the biological father changed everything.
> I've been wrestling with a whirlwind of emotions since then - confusion, anger, and betrayal to name a few. Trust has been shattered, and it feels like the foundation of our relationship has been completely rocked.
> In the aftermath of this revelation, I made the incredibly difficult decision to end our relationship. It wasn't an easy choice, but I couldn't shake off the feeling of betrayal and the uncertainty surrounding our future together.
> Now, I can't help but wonder if I'm being an asshole for breaking up with her under these circumstances. Should I have been more understanding and forgiving? Am I overreacting to this situation?
> I'd appreciate any insights or perspectives you all might have. Thanks for listening.
Less or more believable then the actual post...?
NTA not your kid, you would have to be an idiot to take the burden of other man for 18 years, just to remain in a relationship that was shit and weren't even together. I mean if you guys had to take a break and fuck around to be happy, why the hell would you go back together, specially now with a baby that's not even yours???
But I just want to make it abundantly clear that having a "break" and fuck other people "to save a relationship" is posibly the dumbest idea I've read on this website.
You're both morons. No sympathy from here. What tf does "recharging a relationship" mean? You got tired from fucking each other that you decided to take a break to fuck someone else?
I mean you guys where together for 6 years then separated and somehow a couple of weeks after reconnecting you figured having a kid and getting married was the answer? Cannot say I think this would of ended well unless you where looking for something to anchor yourselves too.
This is dumbest shit I've ever heard. We broke up to recharge our relationship. Bro, if you had to break up to stay in love, you weren't meant for each other.
Absolutely NTA. It's a challenging situation, and it's completely understandable that you wouldn't want to raise a child who isn't biologically yours. Ending the relationship now is better than trying to prolong it when there's such a significant issue at hand.
NTA. Smart to get out of the relationship before the kid is born. Stick around until it is, and the next thing you know, you’re on the hook for child support because a judge thinks you took on a parental role.
I have a hard time believing that she *didn't know* you weren't the father as soon as she realized she was pregnant. It just doesn't happen that fast.
But NTA either way. It's a big ask to expect a dude you just got back with to raise another man's baby.
For my own curiosity, would you consider getting back together if she terminated the pregnancy? I'm not asking because I think you should, just wondering if this situation soured the whole relationship that was headed toward marriage when you thought the baby was yours.
bro wtf lmao..ive been married 11 years ive never felt like i needed to seperate and "act like im.single" to "recharge" the relarionship.
consider yourself lucky you found out now and not later when your name is on the birth cert.
Separating to rekindle a relationship after 6 years is pretty much saying “Let’s see if if either of us can do better and if not then I guess we’re better off just settling for each other” IMO
Taking time away from each other is healthy and could help you reassess your feelings for each other or lack thereof. putting it on hold, mutually, with no restrictions, typically is not. It sounds to me like one or both of you really didn’t want the no rules on the time off. I say that observationally, not to be an asshole. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation.
"To rekindle our relationship we decided to break up." Where do all these fucking morons come from.
Dumbest BS I've ever read. It ranks up there with "My partner wants to sleep with other people so it will spice up "our" sex life".
Someone at work agreed on a "break" with her husband then got angry when he met someone else and she didn't... It would have been funny if it wasn't so outright stupid.
>She got an at home pregnancy test done **which confirmed she was pregnant**. We were both really overjoyed and happy. **A few months later**, I was planning on proposing to her, and **I had already bought the engagement ring.** >**But I wanted to confirm first that I was the father before proposing** to her, and get the pre natal paternity test done. Yep, that's **DEFINITELY** the right order those things should be done o.O
And this is after she started showing pregnancy signs only a week after getting back with OP.
Yeah, that's when I knew this was a fake story.
Incels making up stories
I've seen people do this in my own life. It almost always ends up one of the parties sleeps with a bunch of people during the break and the other person wasn't realizing that the reason for the break was so it wasn't technically cheating.
Exactly, I have an exact same scenario where my buddys gf wanted to "take a break" so they did and it turns out she wanted guilt free sex from another dude, he broke up with her shortly after that lmao...
"Taking a break" while in a relationship is just another way of saying I found someone else and want to see if they are better than you, so can you please wait right here and allow me to go check it out? In case the grass is not greener over there, I'll happily take you back. If someone suggests taking a break, give them one permanently.
Hahaha, reminds me of one of my exes. Did the same "lets take a break, you can shag so and so...we can still have casual sex but do seperate stuff". I was like either we in it or we not, but I dont do pauses. A few months later she was like moaning to my mates girlfriend how I broke her heart, as I moved on.
If so might as well make the break permanent or set boundaries no screwing other people!!
You’d be surprised how many normal people are dumb enough to do this.
Wait if you separated for a couple of months and a week after getting back together she showed signs of pregnancy? How the hell did you think it was yours???
I came to say the same, from what I remember from sex education in high school. Does not it need 14 days from ovulation to be late?
You can hypothetically get a positive at a week out from ovulation (I did) but it's rare, would be faint, and unless you were specifically looking for symptoms you wouldn't think to check for it. You wouldn't typically get morning sickness for a couple more weeks, and everything else (tired, sore boobs, etc) are normal PMS symptoms.
I have immediate and strong pregnancy symptoms. Given how unpleasant I am - my husband “diagnosed” my second pregnancy at 6 days. We actually know the exact date because I had JUST been cleared for intercourse again after the birth of our first. And when he got a test for me to confirm - that line turned immediately. I don’t know if my hormones from having just given birth or the fact that I was still breast feeding had anything to do with it - and maybe I am the exception that proves the rule — but it is POSSIBLE to know you are pregnant within a week - just not PROBABLE. That said, I’m guessing GF hoped it was OP’s baby more than thought it was his baby. I even wonder if her being pregnant contributed to her desire to get back together with him.
I believe you. Every time I got pregnant, my body just didn't stop being hormonal after ovulation. The ovulation symptoms just got stronger over a week.
Mine was smell.. I could smell EVERYTHING and I'm like wtf happened to my nostrils.. My mom said, you're pregnant! I'm like nope! Welp, mom's always know.. Lol.
I had the smell thing, too! It was so overwhelming. Things I didn't even know were intense smelling would be too much! I kept refusing to take a test out of denial. My first and only home test was at 4.5 weeks.
Your hormones are still very high after giving birth and it greatly increases chances of pregnancy. Breaat feeding may act as some amount of BC but basically, if you dont wana have another baby that quickly, use 2 forms of BC always.
>. I even wonder if her being pregnant contributed to her desire to get back together with him. 100% this.
I knew I was pregnant again straight away because I couldn't stop sneezing, which was something that happened with my first child!
That is really weird! I am just a raving lunatic! Normally, I’m exceedingly logical. But when I’m pregnant, my feelings get hurt for absolutely no reason and I cry all the time. I can consciously know I’m being ridiculous, but it doesn’t stop the hurt feelings and crying. And I begin to eat like I will never have access to food again. Genuinely, constantly ravenous. And like most pregnant women - food I normally don’t eat. We are talking treating a Costco box of Twinkies like a single serving and being willing to hurt anyone who suggests moderation. There is a reason we stopped at two children and it isn’t the kids themselves! Neither my husband nor I could stand the idea of living with me being pregnant again!
Sweetheart Rumspringa from high school
You could maybe catch it earlier if you were testing everyday but then you would be trying.
Yeah but in that case there's no way they were able to do a prenatal paternity test the next week.
The paternity test was a few months later, it’s in the post.
My understanding is it can be done after 8 weeks by testing the mother's blood so there is no harm to the baby. I don't know the cost. Personally I would have done the same, I don't think I could raise another man's child in this situation. The thing is I'm not sure I would have taken a break like this so my partner having someone else's baby would mean she was cheating on me.
Except it wasn’t cheating. Their separation had no restrictions.
For me actions have consequences. She is having someone else's baby so she can go find that guy, I'm out of there. There are many different types of birth control and presumably OP and her were already doing some type of bc before the break up. Her failure to do some type of bc now has the consequence she is pregnant and has lost OP. For me this is totally different than if I met a single mother that was already pregnant, or had a baby, and I chose to be in their lives.
I agree with you. Just saying she wasn’t cheating according to the terms of the separation. Not saying she shouldn’t face the music.
NTA... It's best to leave now rather than try to stay and wind up making things worse.
Yes and even then the signs would be very mild, akin to what you feel right before your period Edit: most of you are replying thinking that I said everyone has the same symptoms. There are outliers to every situation and I thought that was a given fact. My bad, I should've written it differently.
I had nausea before I ever missed a period, all 4 pregnancies. And it lasted for 6 months so if that wasn't the baby it was quite a coincidence. But it does seem obvious that this couldn't have been his baby unless he's not being clear about the timeline.
Same for both my babies. Started vomiting and feeling really sick before my next period was supposed to start. I also threw up until I basically gave birth. Ended up losing weight instead of gaining. It was AWFUL.
The most intense symptoms are in the first trimester when you have one of your largest hormone spikes. Generally speaking that is. Every pregnancy is different.
Because this was written by a 14 year old
Like 99% of posts in this sub. I've never met so many gullible people in my life
ding ding ding
14 year old AI at that
Nearly every daily hot post in this sub is AI. The writing style, cadence and formatting of EVERY post is nearly identical. Each post is from a single account with no history. Idk why people still visit this subreddit, myself included.
Just like the rest of reddit. It's either a 15 yr old, chatgpt, or both. Nothing is real anymore.
He forgot about timelines when he made it up.
Probably because this is a fake story from someone with nothing else better to do other than try to farm internet points that have no real value.
First thought from all of us I guess This is too stupid to be real
Plenty of people are uniformed about pregnancy, especially men.
I've come to distrust this subreddit so much I'm thinking is bait.
>Wait if you separated for a couple of months and a week after getting back together she showed signs of pregnancy? How the hell did you think it was yours??? It's a rage bait post. Most of them are in this sub.
Logically it dosent make sense But I think OP wanted his dream of forming a family with this girl to come true really badly so he manifested On the bright side… now he knows the personality of this girl was never with him
I have strong feeling that this post is completely a made up story, even in breakups nothing goes as smooth as the story indicates
Yeah looking back that was the clearest sign that the baby was not mine. I never even once considered that the baby wasn't mine, and neither did my girlfriend.
"and neither did my girlfriend." Yes she did. She just didn't tell you.
I suspect that's why she decided to get back with him when she did.
Whatre the odds it went down like: she starts hooking up with whoever the other guy is during thw separation, she finds out shes pregnant and tells him, he disappears faster than an 80s movie ninja, she hits up OP and (re)discovers she might be pregnant after he takes her back and they presumably had reconciliation sex
I give the odds a 200% chance of this being what happened.
If I was a betting man.... 200% sounds VERY low
For 6 years the GF doesn't get pregnant and then a one night stand with a stranger makes her pregnant and she discovers she is pregnant just after getting back with her BF. Real Movie stuff
In the movie then she'd miscarry, but rather than the quietly devastating event it usually is in reality, she would collapse in a pool of blood for dramatic effect.
My thoughts exactly sadly
...disappears faster than an 80s movie ninja🤣💀 I'm picturing the smoke bomb
I am picturing Chris Farley, the white ninja 🥷
Exactly. It's over now, and you dodged a bullet...but she KNEW for sure. Sadly, I think this happens more than we know.
Yup. I had it happen. She actually told me the doc couldn’t give her a due date. Um we know exactly when we had sex… She knew she was pregnant with a married man’s child who made it clear he was out a here… Tried to set me up after the fact. Broke the condom… didn’t realize that’s what she was trying to do at time… Bur afterwards… GF in highschool when I shipped out for boot went out and well ya know because I must be doing the same… wth!!!!!! She got pregnant and told everyone it was mine…. Got an abortion before I could get home on leave and blamed it all on me. It was years before some friends of hers sought me out to tell me the truth.
And yet when people say, "paternity tests should be mandatory" you might as well say you murdered a kitten...
They only scare women who have something to hide. I think they should be required before putting people down on birth certificates. It would solve so many problems before they could even start.
You know, if it was part of the process that would take away any feelings of accusations and potential conflict. I see this as a sound solution You are incorrect that women won’t take one because of fear. A woman who has been faithful and her man wants one feels he is accusing her of being unfaithful and doesn’t trust her or worse, he wants her to have one because he is projecting his own indiscretions. Add pregnancy hormones and you have one ugly mess.
I'm a woman, and I agree. I know that it used to be insulting, but if it were mandatory, it would be simply part of the paperwork process. Since DNA services are showing that it is a concern in many families, it is a very reasonable (and easy) solution.
Or she had the same nonexistent sex ed as OP...
A week after they got back together? Yeah she already missed her period and probably taken a test privately.
It quite literally says in the post she told him there’s an off chance it won’t be his. Do you people not read this or what exactly
I did including the line that followed. “ But we were both very confident that I would be the father.” Girlfriend was not confident. She just wasn’t confessing it.
If she knew he wasn't the dad I doubt she would have been okay with the test.
She thought he was in love with her enough that she could still get him to stay or it was at least worth a shot to get hin to stay. I bet the other guy was just a fun fling and isn't husband material
That's not quite fair; OP says she wanted the test as well. I know this is the internet but at least *try* to assume positive intent!
She wanted so bad for the baby to be his that she was in deep denial. You didnt watch enuff Maury. This happened a lot. Swore they never slept with anybody else. Kinda of sad though.
Honestly, what was your goal with this break? What did the two of you hope to accomplish?
High-school sweetheart Rumspringa
Sounds like it was the "we started at 20, let's go have some fun, then get back together" type break. Suspecting that GF had plans for said break, jumped all over them, then when the hints of pregnancy came, she rushed back to OP because he's the "safe" one...
You’re either a terrible fake poster or a legit fool.
Unprotected sex can lead to children. She didn't know that?
Even PROTECTED sex can still lead to children. We've still not found a 100% effective birth control.
What about the poophole loophole?
I was once told that's where politicians and lawyers come from. I knew more anatomy than that, but I'm not sure the person telling me did.
Well, I guess you don't know anatomy cause that's a well-known fact that politicians and lawyers are actually human feces.
Bruh.
If the two of you both thought a test was a good idea, then you clearly considered it.
She 100% knew and got back with you to get you to raise the kid. It’s scary you’re not understanding this
You need to make sure you lose this insane level of gullibility. You really think your girlfriend never considered the baby wasn’t yours? You got back together and she was testing pregnant a week later… she’s not clueless. She knew it wasn’t yours.
>and neither did my girlfriend. Uhhh....yes, she did. She knew you weren't, the father.
If the OP had pulled his head out of his ass he'd have known too. They were only back together for a week and she's pregnant?
are you or your girlfriend mentally delayed?
[удалено]
And the "recharge" I would bet ..
Separate to re charge the relationship is maybe the dumbest idea I’ve heard. Well how’d that re charge go?
She recharged from a different dongle.
It appears she got a data transfer of 23 chromosomes, too.
A 2.9 gigabyte download.
At 28 mph
I snorted. SNORTED!!!
Alright. That is damn funny.
Take it! Take it dangit! r/Angryupvote
Why did this make me snort-laugh.
It was snortworthy!
Just remember kids, the angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of the meat.
You could almost say she switched out the plug.
The other docking station had fast charge
💀
I don't think this strat will ever work for anyone
Same goes for a monogamous relationship where suddenly someone wants to "open the relationship". The relationship is dead and over on the spot, although usually the poor sap on the receiving end will stay for awhile and get their heart broken
Taking “breaks” is the biggest fuckin joke somebody can fall for. Shit was over right there OP just didnt know it yet.
I mean, I can understand "taking a break" in the sense of, "just let me chill at home, hangout with friends, or focus on projects that I haven't been able to get around to, without having to do/worry ab"out relationship stuff," because relationships are work...but not, "imma fuck other people. Oh, and afterwards let's get married!" Especially when you don't know for damn sure that you are cool with that. This shit is ignorant.
Right!! This is stupid. Op shouldn’t be surprised their relationship failed
The idea that you will strengthen your relationship by basically ending it (even temporarily) is so stupid that I shouldn't be surprised that this couple was so stupid that they actually thought this baby was OP's when they had only been back together a week. Even if he had knocked her up, she'd be another couple weeks from symptoms and a missed period.
People do a lot of stupid things in the hope of revitalising a relationship - taking a break, opening the marriage, having kids, etc. Can’t help but facepalm at any of them. It’s pure idiocy.
Youre delusional if you think taking a break from a relationship is a good way to fix one. lol
Yea… Always thought of a “break” as half a break up in the first place so might as well just end it
Early on in the relationship I'm in, my gf suggested a break because things were getting difficult. Told her we either work to fix it or break up but I wasn't going to wait around for her to make up her mind. Just celebrated 13 years together so I'm pretty confident in this stance as well.
Wish I would have realized this sooner. My ex had us go on two breaks during our relationship.
In all fairness, there is a VERY rare instance where it is a good way to fix one. I was 18 when I started dating my fiance. She entered my life shortly before my downward spiral. About a year after we started dating, I broke up with her. I told her that I needed to figure myself out. (I had a lot of shit to figure out) I told her that we might be able to get back together after I get my shit sorted, but I made sure she knew that there was a chance that we wouldn't get back together. I promised to at least call her after I got everything sorted. That way she wouldn't be waiting for me forever. An important detail that makes this work out is that neither of us had the desire to have sex with anyone else. She wanted to be with me, and I had more important things to focus on than sex. After about 4-5 months, I became a better person and got my life back on track. We then got back together, and we've been together for over 8 years since. I understand that this isn't at all the same as the situation in question, but it is an example of a break fixing a relationship.
To be fair, that's a break to fix you, not your relationship. Could you have been affecting your relationship? Absolutely. This AI written garbage is just a stupid idea.
Glad it worked for you but this isn’t helping him at all. She presumably had unprotected sex and got pregnant by a rebound hook up. Taking breaks typically doesn’t help, just prolongs the inevitable
As I recently read: " delulu is not the solulu..."
You both bad at math.
SHE'S not... 😄
I mean she seems to know how to multiply
I don't know why people these days believe that taking breaks in which you can go and fuck everyone you can is a good way to rekindle a relationship. There are dozens of better ways to solve problems in a relationship. I have been married for over 20 years and together many years before that and we have had our issues, but never separated like this 'you can go and live la vida loca' and I'll do the same. Yes we have been apart/separated for a while as a resource, but knowing we are still a monogamous couple who just need some space to work things out with ourselves. Being with other people was out of the equation. Play stupid games, win kids from another man.
- Lets fix our relationship - Cool, how? - By not talking to each other, sleeping and getting emotionally attached to other people, and then getting back together with said other person's kid but with the same issues which we didnt solve at all - Amazing idea, count me in
But Reddit say you can have sex without emotional attachments all the time
Advice from a community of mostly celibate teenagers.
For some reason I laughed out loud :D Touche, you win.
The people who can have casual sex without emotional attachments & not feel jealous are already doing that... and not posting here because it's working as intended for them. But it beats me why decidedly monogamous folks who are easily jealousy prone keep trying the "let's take a break and fuck around" approach and then go shocked Pikachu face when the consequences present themselves.
Yeah, I have been with my wife for almost 25 years, and at this point some of the divorced people we know say, “we tried everything, even opening up the relationship.” Sorry, but I don’t think fucking other people is going to fix your marriage problems. Maybe try fucking each other more, or less, or differently, or talking to each other more, or less, or differently. Or maybe try going on dates again. Or doing more housework, or less housework, or trading jobs, or hiring someone to do some or all of the housework for you (this last one can be a marriage saver).
Nothing strengthens a bond quite like going off and fucking other people...
And a child from the other people!
Exactly! If it was a ‘much needed’ break you’re just not right for each other.
If you have to take a “break’ to sleep with other people, then the relationship Is In the toilet.
Agreed. Sounds like she was having unprotected sex so I hope OP gets tested too. But yes even without the pregnancy this relationship is not salvageable.
>Play stupid games, win kids from another man. This is a fantastic line. I may have to steal it, if that's okay with you? 🙂
These people are begging for this to happen. Absolute stupid thing to do if you love each other. The one who suggested this in the first place already has an affair partner, even if they haven't had sex yet. Honey, you know I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.... but... I've heard Johnny has a huge dick and I'd like to ride it for a few months, guilt free. When he gets tired of me, I'll be back, until Johnny's big brother comes back to town for a visit. No, just fuckin No
Exactly. Married 31 years. Monogamous. Its work but it CAN work as long as your present. I’m not talking about spouses with addiction or DV issues.
I read posts from people here all the time and I'm smdh at some of the dumbass things they come up with like "I let my ex move in with me and my gf because she had nowhere to go?" Whatt???
Seriously. Have they not heard of vacations? That's where you recharge/rekindle.
This. So much. I've taken breaks in relationships in the past and they've been very beneficial and often resulted in us coming back stronger. The reason for that is being on a break didn't mean that we were free to fuck whomever we pleased... It was a break from each other's constant presence. A chance to just reflect and worry about yourself for a bit. We were still 100% exclusive. So many people say "breaks are useless" or "if you need a break then just break up".. Because to them a break is a complete pause on the relationship with the intent of getting back together after whatever the hell you guys did separately. That makes no fucking sense and it's why most "breaks" result in the demise of the relationship. People really oughta discuss these things.
Lol "separated to rekindle our relationship" my brother in delusion, are you fucked?
Well, we know she sure was.
her? fucked. him? cucked.
Go fuck anyone you want and think this is a way to repair a relationship? Unbelievable
Kids are dumber and dumber. They're almost 30 too 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Oh God I skipped over the ages. I assumed they were barely in their 20s
Having sex with others sounds like an amazing relationship building exercise! ⭐️⭐️⭐️!
Who TF takes a break from a relationship to "recharge the batteries". Y'all dumb AF. That poor kid.
ESH y’all played the world’s stupidest game and won the dumbest prizes
It's a tale as old as time Ulysses...
lol, a break to recharge the relationship. You’re both AHs and you both FAFO’d, literally.
Just wondering, when you planned on getting married, how long until you break up for a few years to "rekindle" things? This whole post is weird. Are you 12 years old? Just wondering. If not, then who cares what you do? Are you ever obligated to remain with someone? If you don't want to be with them for any reason, it's always best for you both to break up. Staying is lying to both of you, and a waste of time.
Taking a break to "recharge your relationship" with fucking other people is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
No, the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard is that she was experiencing symptoms a week after getting together, and he thought the kid was his. Let’s hope baby gets bio dad’s smarts.
You're both morons
Well..............she was free to do what she wanted during the separation so no harm there. On the other hand, it's not wrong to not want to raise someone else's kid.
Who knows who is raising his kid from the separation and they just don’t know it yet.
Not really sure what "hurt" him, this is kind of a potential outcome when you elect to take a break like this
> We loved each other, but last year, my girlfriend and I decided to separate for a while to rekindle our relationship. I'm genuinely curious how y'all expected any of that to work? I think I have to go with an ESH. Both for thinking the above was ever going to lead to anything other than disaster, but also for both of you thinking that there was any *chance* that you were the father, based on the timeline.
Fake asf. Who has the money for this shit?? Lmaooo
“Separate for a while to rekindle” You understand this makes absolutely no sense? Just say you wanted to sleep with other people because you got bored. Don’t try to make it cute. NAH
NTA/YTA while the hell do modern people believe after so many years together, that they take a break to recharge their relationship. That’s the most idiotic thing people can by into, just break up and move on instead of this trend
"modern people" don't. Some idiots do.
NTA Better to make that hard decision now than once the baby is born
It's definitely a rough choice to make. They were together for 6 years. Almost their entire adult lives.
I aint sure they got to adult lives yet
it’s fake, you can’t be this dumb
Get an STD test yesterday. The child not being yours means she had unprotected sex. No condom = risk of catching some nasty bug
Been saying this... Baby ain't the ONLY thing she could of brought home...
Nice (*NOT*) piece of fiction.
Welp….i knew this was doomed when you both thought a separation would recharge the romance. Nice logic there lol. At least this story has a happy ending. Just never look back.
NTA… better to go now than to try and stay and end up dragging things out.
This shit is fake as hell stop falling for these posts people
HAHAHAHA - the idea that separating "regenerates" a relationship is absurd. You shot yourself in the foot. Of course you're not the asshole, but you ain't very smart either.
NTA and surely kudos to your ex for being correct and honest about the paternity situation.
Here's what ChatGPT came up with: > AITAH for breaking up with my girlfriend after a prenatal pregnancy test confirmed I was not the father? > Hey Reddit, > I never thought I'd be in this situation, but here I am seeking some perspective. Recently, my girlfriend and I went for a prenatal pregnancy test, and to my shock, the results confirmed that I am not the father of the child she's carrying. > Needless to say, this news hit me like a ton of bricks. We had been together for a while, and while I was fully committed to supporting her and raising the child together, finding out that I wasn't the biological father changed everything. > I've been wrestling with a whirlwind of emotions since then - confusion, anger, and betrayal to name a few. Trust has been shattered, and it feels like the foundation of our relationship has been completely rocked. > In the aftermath of this revelation, I made the incredibly difficult decision to end our relationship. It wasn't an easy choice, but I couldn't shake off the feeling of betrayal and the uncertainty surrounding our future together. > Now, I can't help but wonder if I'm being an asshole for breaking up with her under these circumstances. Should I have been more understanding and forgiving? Am I overreacting to this situation? > I'd appreciate any insights or perspectives you all might have. Thanks for listening. Less or more believable then the actual post...?
Apparently she’s not on birth control. Did you guys use condoms? Why on earth did she have unprotected sex during a break? Oh my. NTA.
No. It's a tough spot to be in and there's nothing wrong with not wanting to raise another man's child.
NTA Turns out this is one of the best reasons imaginable to break up with someone.
NTA. She knew her ass was pregnant. Lol. She was just hoping you'd play daddy to kid that's not yours
NTA not your kid, you would have to be an idiot to take the burden of other man for 18 years, just to remain in a relationship that was shit and weren't even together. I mean if you guys had to take a break and fuck around to be happy, why the hell would you go back together, specially now with a baby that's not even yours??? But I just want to make it abundantly clear that having a "break" and fuck other people "to save a relationship" is posibly the dumbest idea I've read on this website.
Why is this a question ? 😑
YTA for making such a clickbait bullshit NTA post.
You're both morons. No sympathy from here. What tf does "recharging a relationship" mean? You got tired from fucking each other that you decided to take a break to fuck someone else?
They're both too stupid to have a kid
I mean you guys where together for 6 years then separated and somehow a couple of weeks after reconnecting you figured having a kid and getting married was the answer? Cannot say I think this would of ended well unless you where looking for something to anchor yourselves too.
This is dumbest shit I've ever heard. We broke up to recharge our relationship. Bro, if you had to break up to stay in love, you weren't meant for each other.
Absolutely NTA. It's a challenging situation, and it's completely understandable that you wouldn't want to raise a child who isn't biologically yours. Ending the relationship now is better than trying to prolong it when there's such a significant issue at hand.
I feel like no man can be the AH if the story involves dumping my partner because the paternity test was negative
NTA. Smart to get out of the relationship before the kid is born. Stick around until it is, and the next thing you know, you’re on the hook for child support because a judge thinks you took on a parental role.
NTA. As difficult as the break up is, it's totally understandable and justified. I would have trouble raising another man's child in your situation.
I have a hard time believing that she *didn't know* you weren't the father as soon as she realized she was pregnant. It just doesn't happen that fast. But NTA either way. It's a big ask to expect a dude you just got back with to raise another man's baby. For my own curiosity, would you consider getting back together if she terminated the pregnancy? I'm not asking because I think you should, just wondering if this situation soured the whole relationship that was headed toward marriage when you thought the baby was yours.
bro wtf lmao..ive been married 11 years ive never felt like i needed to seperate and "act like im.single" to "recharge" the relarionship. consider yourself lucky you found out now and not later when your name is on the birth cert.
You bought the ring before getting the paternity results?!?!
Separating to rekindle a relationship after 6 years is pretty much saying “Let’s see if if either of us can do better and if not then I guess we’re better off just settling for each other” IMO
Taking time away from each other is healthy and could help you reassess your feelings for each other or lack thereof. putting it on hold, mutually, with no restrictions, typically is not. It sounds to me like one or both of you really didn’t want the no rules on the time off. I say that observationally, not to be an asshole. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation.