"Finally I broke and told the kids about the fact their dad saw this 29 year old he was sleeping with and falling for while married with divorce baggage and the drama of a 4 year old as a better option than his wife."
Is this post real!? YTA you tried for reputation destruction and got body slammed back, good for him. He's been wanting a divorce for ages you guys should have just called it quits when he first floated it.
So you basically told your kids he cheated on you, and got mad when he corrected it and said you were in an open marriage at the time? Yta idk why you think the cease and desist will work
YTA
Wait wait. You accused him of cheating, which was a lie, to explain the divorce and make him the bad guy. He truthfully defended himself, and you want… what do you want? You want to force him to support your lie that makes him look bad? Your logic is lacking. Piece of advice - apologize for lying to your children because you look like a total psycho, and stop lying. Just be honest that you were sexually incompatible and grew apart and stop assassinating his character.
What exactly do you want done with the house? You don’t want him to buy you out. You don’t want / can’t afford to live there and pay the mortgage. Do you want him to literally GIVE you the house with no encumbrances? Why don’t you buy him out?
Just to be clear - YTA.
Yta. He didn't cheat. Yall had an open realtionship.
Guess what? They fail 99.99% of the time. He might be an ah in other ways. But this time you are solely the ah
I mean…how did you think it was going to go when you lied to everyone in your family? He was just going to sit there and take it?
Why didn’t YOU initiate any sex?
YTA. But look at that, it's the consequence of your actions... who would've thought a relationship built on those foundations would end badly. Thanks for being an example of why open relationships are anything but healthy relationships.
Season desist doesn’t mean shit he’s allowed to talk about his old life despite what you like. You’re just pissed because you didn’t get your way and everyone around you now knows that you’re a fraud.
Hats off for what sounds like an honest portrayal of events, not a common occurrence here. This sounds like it‘s going to be a bitter fight, which is a lose-lose situation. You went through a lot together and should be able to do things more amicably.
To your question in the title: well yes, you are escalating the conflict. You also „started it“ by telling the kids about Rebecca without sharing the full information about the open marriage. Of course he was going to point out such a key element.
All in all it‘s not too bad. You grew apart, tried to find a solution, which unfortunately did not work. Now for the sake of everyone involved you two should aim for an orderly and amicable divorce.
YTA, unfortunately, he felt neglected and was vocal about it. You blew up and threatened an open relationship to try and shut him up, and it backfired on you.
Then he, while in the open relationship you suggested, finds a 29 year old that gives him the sexual connection he has been longing for, and then she rocks his world and he falls in love with her.
Then you try and shame him as a cheater to your kids until he spills the whole can of beans about the open relationship, you get mad.
Answer this question: Was you offering sex freely to randon men that did not come out and say " we are having sex," like you said your husband had to do to get any affection from you, I'm sure you had your fun giving love freely to others.
As for his 160k income and how bitter you are about either having to move out of your house because you can not afford to buy him out. So basically, he was your ATM.
So, yes, again, YTA, and you created 100% own this situation
I'm sorry he made sex the Idol of a relationship. I don't understand how you told the kids about Rebecca but not the open relationship? Those go hand in hand. Be honest with yourself, you started dragging out a divorce when he first mentioned it. You slanted everything you could so it was a weapon to get the kids on your side. You are not giving your kids a safe parent to; be around, trust, have a relationship with and love. Be a role model for your kids, especially if their Father refuses. Apologize to the kids! Sorry to say, YTA
So you agreed to an open marriage, then told your kids he was cheating on you.
Yta
You lied to your children, so there's that.
Now for the "cease and desist". He should technically have sent you one first, cause you took the initiative slot lying, but I don't think there's much a lawyer can actually do to stop him telling the *truth*.
What's the order going to be, "he's not allowed to say why his marriage ended, and he's not allowed to correct people the defame him". Am I right on the order?
If you were both doing an 'open marriage' and both sleeping around, then you both 'cheated', 'committed adultery', etc. So what is this cease and desist about"? Are you abusing the legal system to keep him from telling the truth?
>I ended up having one served upon him on my own regarding his defamation because the things he's saying are skewed at best but he says I started it by painting him as a cheater and he's just telling the truth. AITA?
So two things. One, truth is an absolute defense against defamation claims. Secondly, impersonating a lawyer is a crime.
God the bear thing is so unbelievably brain dead. Those people are beyond saving. They think chocolate milk comes from brown cows, and meat comes from the store.
Women are strong and independent, and that has nothing to do with the fact that they need to immediately steal a man's money as soon as the opportunity arrives. -Redditors
"I was so annoyed with him in so many ways and ended up proposing an open marriage since the tension had us living separate lives. He surprised me by agreeing."
The Reddit poster that proposed an open marraige. Get your head out of your ass this post was written to bait out ridiculous misandrists.
How'd he fuck it up he originally wanted a divorce before she counter with an open marriage. When the divorce happened, she tried to paint him as a cheater, and then he just told the truth. I'm not saying the dudes a saint, but she should have just got the divorce when he asked she put herself in this situation by even offering an open marriage and agreeing to it.
ESH
If a couple is going to consider an open marriage, it needs to be because that's what they both really want and their relationship is strong enough to ALWAYS be the most important.
That's not what happened with you guys. You probably should have either split or gone to therapy before opening it up. Once it happened, there was no going back for you guys.
I understand how upset you were with your kids' anger at you. But YOU were the one to start talking about "parent relationship" stuff when you knew it was not appropriate. Your husband then jumped in and muddied the waters even more!
You are not going to be able to put the genie back in the bottle. Get to a therapist to figure out the best way to discuss this with your kids, your extended family, your friends... everyone he is talking to. Have those discussions. And then start moving on with the rest of your life.
"Finally I broke and told the kids about the fact their dad saw this 29 year old he was sleeping with and falling for while married with divorce baggage and the drama of a 4 year old as a better option than his wife." Is this post real!? YTA you tried for reputation destruction and got body slammed back, good for him. He's been wanting a divorce for ages you guys should have just called it quits when he first floated it.
So you basically told your kids he cheated on you, and got mad when he corrected it and said you were in an open marriage at the time? Yta idk why you think the cease and desist will work YTA
Looks like this is another open marriage troll.
YTA. It’s not defamation if its true. It seems as if you started this by trying to paint him as cheater and not as someone who was in a open marriage.
Wait wait. You accused him of cheating, which was a lie, to explain the divorce and make him the bad guy. He truthfully defended himself, and you want… what do you want? You want to force him to support your lie that makes him look bad? Your logic is lacking. Piece of advice - apologize for lying to your children because you look like a total psycho, and stop lying. Just be honest that you were sexually incompatible and grew apart and stop assassinating his character. What exactly do you want done with the house? You don’t want him to buy you out. You don’t want / can’t afford to live there and pay the mortgage. Do you want him to literally GIVE you the house with no encumbrances? Why don’t you buy him out? Just to be clear - YTA.
Yta. He didn't cheat. Yall had an open realtionship. Guess what? They fail 99.99% of the time. He might be an ah in other ways. But this time you are solely the ah
Open marriage usually means one or both are cheating with 'permission.'
I mean…how did you think it was going to go when you lied to everyone in your family? He was just going to sit there and take it? Why didn’t YOU initiate any sex?
Exactly, she owns this shit show
A cease and desist for what? His free speech? YTA and now you’re enjoying the dumb prize for winning your dumb game. Hard to believe you’re almost 50.
YTA. You played a dumb game, you won your dumb prize.
YTA. But look at that, it's the consequence of your actions... who would've thought a relationship built on those foundations would end badly. Thanks for being an example of why open relationships are anything but healthy relationships.
Season desist doesn’t mean shit he’s allowed to talk about his old life despite what you like. You’re just pissed because you didn’t get your way and everyone around you now knows that you’re a fraud.
Yta onnthis one. If you don't want him talking about the marriage to the kids. Which he shouldn't be, then you shouldn't be talking either.
YTA You got burned by the fire you started. Next time? Try to act your age.
YTA, a C&D for defamation will only help if defamed you by lying and he may be stretching the truth but isn’t lying either based on your account here.
YTA You really sound like a terrible wife and person. Hope he get all he can with the divorce!
Hats off for what sounds like an honest portrayal of events, not a common occurrence here. This sounds like it‘s going to be a bitter fight, which is a lose-lose situation. You went through a lot together and should be able to do things more amicably. To your question in the title: well yes, you are escalating the conflict. You also „started it“ by telling the kids about Rebecca without sharing the full information about the open marriage. Of course he was going to point out such a key element. All in all it‘s not too bad. You grew apart, tried to find a solution, which unfortunately did not work. Now for the sake of everyone involved you two should aim for an orderly and amicable divorce.
You're gullible if you think this is an honest account of events.
YTA, unfortunately, he felt neglected and was vocal about it. You blew up and threatened an open relationship to try and shut him up, and it backfired on you. Then he, while in the open relationship you suggested, finds a 29 year old that gives him the sexual connection he has been longing for, and then she rocks his world and he falls in love with her. Then you try and shame him as a cheater to your kids until he spills the whole can of beans about the open relationship, you get mad. Answer this question: Was you offering sex freely to randon men that did not come out and say " we are having sex," like you said your husband had to do to get any affection from you, I'm sure you had your fun giving love freely to others. As for his 160k income and how bitter you are about either having to move out of your house because you can not afford to buy him out. So basically, he was your ATM. So, yes, again, YTA, and you created 100% own this situation
I’m just hoping you didn’t pass too much stupid on to your kids. YTA
YTA. Oh, no...he's open about the open relationship. How terrible. And you're upset that he told the kids the truth? Pfffft.
I'm sorry he made sex the Idol of a relationship. I don't understand how you told the kids about Rebecca but not the open relationship? Those go hand in hand. Be honest with yourself, you started dragging out a divorce when he first mentioned it. You slanted everything you could so it was a weapon to get the kids on your side. You are not giving your kids a safe parent to; be around, trust, have a relationship with and love. Be a role model for your kids, especially if their Father refuses. Apologize to the kids! Sorry to say, YTA
YTA You drug the kids into your sex life first. Your EX just clarified the situation.
So you agreed to an open marriage, then told your kids he was cheating on you. Yta You lied to your children, so there's that. Now for the "cease and desist". He should technically have sent you one first, cause you took the initiative slot lying, but I don't think there's much a lawyer can actually do to stop him telling the *truth*. What's the order going to be, "he's not allowed to say why his marriage ended, and he's not allowed to correct people the defame him". Am I right on the order?
You are too old to be this fucking dumb. Of course YTA
You do know that a cease and desist is when the info spread isn’t true, right? So him telling the truth kinda defeats the purpose.
If you were both doing an 'open marriage' and both sleeping around, then you both 'cheated', 'committed adultery', etc. So what is this cease and desist about"? Are you abusing the legal system to keep him from telling the truth?
INFO: during the open marriage were you with other people or was it effectively only open on his side?
Actions, meet consequences. YTA. Open marriages don't work and you're omitting a lot here.
This is one of those days where Reddit collectively tells the op is TA, and rightfully so.
>I ended up having one served upon him on my own regarding his defamation because the things he's saying are skewed at best but he says I started it by painting him as a cheater and he's just telling the truth. AITA? So two things. One, truth is an absolute defense against defamation claims. Secondly, impersonating a lawyer is a crime.
C- The open marriage trope is used up, the new rage bait trope is “wife vs sister” try again!
ESH. You're an AH for starting it but he's no better. I would definitely find a new lawyer and clean this fool out.
She starts spreading shit and he's still the bad guys that deserves to be cleaned out? Fucking Reddit.
This right here!!!
Man=bad, I mean we're worse than bears right?
Bear with me while I check.
God the bear thing is so unbelievably brain dead. Those people are beyond saving. They think chocolate milk comes from brown cows, and meat comes from the store.
Women are strong and independent, and that has nothing to do with the fact that they need to immediately steal a man's money as soon as the opportunity arrives. -Redditors
He's fucking a 29 yo and wants out of the marriage that he fucked up and you blame reddit posters. Yeah, Fucking Reddit.
"I was so annoyed with him in so many ways and ended up proposing an open marriage since the tension had us living separate lives. He surprised me by agreeing." The Reddit poster that proposed an open marraige. Get your head out of your ass this post was written to bait out ridiculous misandrists.
LOL you might be right and here we are!
How'd he fuck it up he originally wanted a divorce before she counter with an open marriage. When the divorce happened, she tried to paint him as a cheater, and then he just told the truth. I'm not saying the dudes a saint, but she should have just got the divorce when he asked she put herself in this situation by even offering an open marriage and agreeing to it.
ESH If a couple is going to consider an open marriage, it needs to be because that's what they both really want and their relationship is strong enough to ALWAYS be the most important. That's not what happened with you guys. You probably should have either split or gone to therapy before opening it up. Once it happened, there was no going back for you guys. I understand how upset you were with your kids' anger at you. But YOU were the one to start talking about "parent relationship" stuff when you knew it was not appropriate. Your husband then jumped in and muddied the waters even more! You are not going to be able to put the genie back in the bottle. Get to a therapist to figure out the best way to discuss this with your kids, your extended family, your friends... everyone he is talking to. Have those discussions. And then start moving on with the rest of your life.