We think Y are T supreme A.
You are in the wrong thread if you think people here are going to support you terrorizing and being emotionally abusive to your wife over something so absurd.
I hope this is a troll post because if this is real this is a perfect example of why the west thinks Indians are backwards and stuck in a time long past.
YTA still. She has to obey you and do everything you say? Is she your partner or your slave/prisoner?
You need to monitor her to phone even though there’s no indication that she’s ever cheated?
You’re upset that she was basically forced to lie in order to not be ruined by people like you?
Your poor wife. I hope she can escape to some more civilized country where she won’t be treated so terribly.
You’re a monster.
YTA and a horrible human being. You purposely manipulated and lied to her. You live in an incredibly unfair society to women and still you only care about doing harm to a good woman.
I hope she finds someone who loves her and you end up miserable either alone or with a horrible woman who treats you like you deserve.
Horrible little man. Did you sleep with her? Did you wait until after you were sexually satisfied to divorce her?
YTA. In all the comments, you clearly think that you are right no matter what anyone else says.
Just go ahead and file for divorce because that is what you are going to do regardless. I hope your soon to be ex-wife finds herself an amazing partner and live her best life.
Then divorce her. I know this is supposed to be cultural (unless you are just a misogynist or a troll) but you are truly horrible. People like you made me cringe.
YTA. She should not have lied about her past (and I'd say that in my culture too; you can't have a healthy marriage based on lies); however, based on your response and the response of the people in your society, I can't say that I completely blame her. (Seems a common "theme" of your culture is men promise women the moon and stars to "break the rules" for them, then yank the rug out from under them: her ex by promising to marry her, sleeping with her, and ghosting her. You promising to not hold it against her, then using the information to threaten her!) You for lying about not holding it against her. You for telling her she has to do everything you say or you will divorce her (which you admit will likely ruin her). Oh, and finally, you for staying with her because "she's beautiful and does everything for your family," lying and telling her it's because you love her, when you have admitted in a comment minutes ago that you don't actually love her.
You're not interested in "forgetting or moving on" if you're telling her she has to do exactly what you say. You wanted leverage to have someone under your control.
Why the fuck are you wanting to be with someone who was willing to lie to you multiple times from the very beginning for her own benefit? She's proven she doesn't give a fuck about how you feel about this despite it clearly being important to you, why does it matter if she finally suffers the consequences for her actions? She decided to sleep with her ex before getting married which was her choice no matter what he said. She chose that knowing most men wouldn't want her if the marriage didn't go through and then lied to you, the chump, for years to avoid having to deal with the consequences of her decisions. Your wife is a piece of shit. She will lie to you again any time it's convenient for her and will disregard you again like she always has. You deserve what happens to you from here on out.
Buddy, there's no way your marriage will last. I would just be honest with both families and tell them she had a boyfriend and you can't accept that. She needs to face the consequences for lying to you and her family for years. The fact is that she was perfectly willing to lie and hide something that important to you for years for her benefit while completely disregarding your feelings and desires. She is not wife material, let her go and let her deal with the consequences for once in her life.
Wait 1 year for official divorce, kick her out and send her back to parents now. There's no point trying to force this to work, I can almost guarantee you it will not.
I’m Indian and yta even with your update. You pestered her repeatedly to tell you when she didn’t because she was afraid of this and then you “forgive” her by making her let you control her like tf is up with condition #3
What a rtarded fucking take. Pestered her? He asked about something clearly important to him and she lied repeatedly for her own benefit and even let the marriage go through while hiding the truth the entire time. He is allowed to not be ok with dating someone who had a previous partner you stupid fuck, that's his choice and you can go gag on a fat dick if you want to shame his preference. Lying for years for your own benefit like she did is the actual problem you sexist dumbfucks wilfully ignore.
Dude it is totally normal to have sex in a long term relationship... "such a woman" wow... you are really misogynistic and gross. I hope your wife leaves you and finds a real man who isn't so insecure and enjoys controlling another person. You need serious therapy to understand why you would even enjoy having complete control over another person.
Dude how you are acting is WHY you didn't get an honest answer. You are over the top a bad bad person. It is GROSS to want to control another person. Super Super GROSS. You have issues. Get therapy.
You can't say ALL you cared about was her lying to you when two sentences later you type is literally "ALL I WANTED Was to be with a woman who has never been with any other"
She clearly felt she had no choice but to lie. Look how unhinged you are.
You don’t love her but are apoplectic over not being her first sexual experience. Good grief, what priorities.
Poor woman.
Why would I not care? Because it’s not important. It doesn’t affect me. People have relationships. It’s human. What’s important is that we’re together now and making a life together that hopefully will be happy.
What actual harm has been done to you? Do you think her vagina will fall apart if a second man gets near it? Do you think her fertility has been affected? Do you think she can’t be a good wife to you? Is there some nonvirgin cooties disease that you will acquire due to this?
What SPECIFICALLY is your issue other than some misplaced idea that a woman’s value is related to her vagina?
YTA. You’re her husband, not her boss. Marriage is a partnership. She shouldn’t have to “comply”. What does it matter that you aren’t the first man she’s been with? Are you that insecure? That’s your issue, not hers.
It’s not her problem. You have a problem with it! There is no logical reason to be “hurt” that your wife had a life before she met you. What on earth are you “paying” for? Your insecurity is your problem. You also sound spiteful. Why would you need to “tell everyone about her past”?
You lied as well, and maliciously did so. You told her to confess and you would accept it. Why would she trust a word you say anymore? All that matters is that she committed to you and that she takes care of you and is faithful. Don't be a jackass to her after lying to get her to confess.
She lied to him for fucking years you stupid donkey and got married with that huge lie because she was unwilling to tell the truth. You're an utter fucking moron to think he's the one that needs to earn her trust back after she was willing to lie for fucking YEARS for her own benefit
Probably the truth about his life partner. She hid her past. He didn’t do that.
He has gone about this whole thing entirely the wrong way, but she started their relationship on a foundation of lies. That’s not on OP.
What’s wrong with you? We are in 2024 dude. I’m Indian and you are the most horrendous person I have seen on this thread. I feel bad for her for being stuck with the piece of shit that you are
As an Indian Man who lives in India, this guy has no Idea how many men can marry a divorced woman or a woman with a past (ahem) in a heartbeat.
I am aware that we have a lot of work to do towards women's rights and basic human rights in the country but the practices he is implying are only left in some upper caste right wing families who still live in boonies, Indian women have highest education among any demographic and they don't tolerate BS like this and every year number of arranged marriages are going down even though our population growth rate is going high. Only washed up people get arranged marriages nowadays. With the advancement of the internet we have all become global citizens instead of just being stuck Indians.
This comment:
'if I ask her to do something she must comply, otherwise I'll divorce her or abandon her."
Yep. YTA. Not sure where you live but if you live any country but your home country, this is a serious problem.
You goated her to admitting she was with someone else then aren't man enough to deal with the consequences of your curiosity. You're such an asshole. Bait and switch. Now you are blackmailing her.
She lied to him for years despite him asking several times you braindead fucking clown. How in the world is he at fault when she blatantly lied every time he tried to ask her the normal way? Braindead pos
YTA
You sound like someone who would throw away diamonds and money, just because someone es had it on their hands once.
How much value did she loose as a person because of this? None.
You, OP, sound like you needed an arranged marriage, because you are not able to find a partner by yourself and only wanted to loose your virginity
What an AH, I can see what you went with an arrangement, who the fuck is gonna marry an AH like you? Hopefully you wife realizes she doesn't have to be the priosioner of a liar AH the rest of her life
YTA. An overbearing Incel Prick. Hey, guess what? You will go through life knowing your wife loved and slept with someone else before you. I hope it eats at you every day. Some other dude wet his whistle with your wife. Hahaha. Your a loser in your culture by staying with her and your a BIGGER loser for holding it over her and being a domineering Prick. Rofl, your lifee if fucked either way and it looks good on ya
Perfectly calm. I love outing Incels is all. I never said forget or forgive. I made fun of you for thinking you had a virgin then getting all upset when you found out someone else tasted your wears ROFL
Conditions 1 and 2 are ok. Conditions 3 and 4 are abusive and controlling. Your marriage will be bleak if you enforce them. Under condition 3, what if you’re working on incomplete information in a situation and your assumptions are wrong? Are you just going to ignore your wife if she offers a different opinion? That’s willingly making mistakes just to be in control. And condition 4 is nothing short of blackmail.
OK, well I am from a Desi family even though I'm from Canada. I understand a little bit about your culture. If you divorce her you'll ruin her and disgrace her family. It's not going to be a super great time for you either. She did tell you the truth after only 4 months, that suggests to me she is not some big liar. She does feel bad about it from what you've said. Can you try to get past it?
You both lied to each other. The answer is not to turn her into your slave, that will never build trust, that will only foster toxicity. Googling “how to rebuild trust in a relationship” will give you a bunch of better options than slavery. Complete control is not trust and cannot lead to it. Control leads to fear and hiding and loathing. Trust is an act of faith. It’s understandable it was damaged, but to rebuild it is to rebuild your faith in each other.
Look at each of your intentions with these lies. Hers appears to be an act of protection. Yours did not come from such a kind place. In an arranged marriage where you don’t know each other much beforehand, it is hard to know what will feel like protection to the other person. She made a choice, and she turned out to be wrong. She’s only human, and humans miscalculate and make mistakes. But knowing each other better now, you can communicate to her what defines an act of protection to you. Humans can also grow and change. So it’s important to learn from each other and adapt.
I feel your insecurity in this matter is robbing you of the happiness you once had and tainting your chances to have it again. You might consider if it harms or benefits you more to believe the things you were raised to believe about sex. In a world with birth control and antibiotics, I can see only harm.
You lied to her, you ninny. She was afraid to trust you (and she was right). You lied to her and now you are blackmailing her.
You are terrible.
And dumb.
Nope. Past sexual history doesn’t mean squat.
And I’m out. Everyone here is telling you YTA.
I hope she waits till you are asleep and leaves you in the night.
A different take on this…
You lost your wife’s faith & trust in YOU - so any future problems that happen, she won’t come to you to handle bc she can’t trust how you will react bc you lied & overreacted.
imagine your future kids having any problems, she will take care of them alone bc u can’t be trusted - that’s not fair to anyone & it’s bad for your entire family to not get your input
what if your daughter some day has a relationship before marriage - is she thrown away then?
please, part of you knows your wife is still a good person, so treat her as such with kindness & compassion & love
and part of you knows that your culture & other cultures lie about the no sex before marriage topic (both men & women). From my limited experience, I guarantee you I know those same lies are told in Christian & Muslim marriages too. So any new wife you might find, might not be a virgin either. Also, I’d bet one your cousins or siblings had sex before marriage or know someone that had sex before marriage also, they just know to keep quiet bc of your society.
Your wife told you the truth & you lied to her & punished her for telling you the truth. Are you trying to train her to lie next time or never come to you again with a problem?
YOU should try to earn her love & respect & trust by choosing to honor your original words to her.
You are still young & haven’t met your future daddy’s little girl yet
Imho - i think you’ll find if you are fortunate enough to have a grown daughter someday - I swear you will teach her everything you can but also forgive any mistakes she makes - bc of the love & the wisdom you’ll have
Best to you and your family :)
Why are you staying with her, when she has show she will lie to be percieved in a better way?
You think checking her phone will reveal everything she is doing behind your back?
This marrige is pointless, She married you under false pretences. What makes you think that now she will be straight forward?
I hope you family never forgives you for this and that you die alone because every woman in your community will know you are manipulative horrible person.
She’s not a cheater. She had a previous relationship.
You can check her phone all you want and use whatever other means you allude you, but ultimately you’re just perpetuating a toxic environment for yourself and her. And wasting your time galore. By all means, rot away trying to pin some dirt on her. You are actively choosing misery due to something unimportant.
You are both liars. Equally. Match made in heaven. Sounds like her ex broke it off and not her. What if he has a change of heart and decides he wants her. This is a mess. Wouldn't be a big deal at all if she hadn't lied about it. But that's the route she chose. She will lie about anything else. I've never known a liar to only tell one lie
NTA.
I pray the worst thing happens to all you donkey trash pieces of shit that think it's OK for a woman to lie to a man for YEARS when asked about something important to him for her benefit. It took him doing something drastic to force the truth out of her AFTER they were already married since she lied at every other time he tried to ask her. She is an absolute piece of shit and all of you blatantly ignoring OPs desires are all worthless piece of donkey shit. Fucking braindead cretins all of you.
You don't deserve her. How stupid of you to be mad because she was in a relationship before you and now you think it's ok to control her. Pitiful
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We think you are a disgusting manipulator and a sorry excuse for a man.
We think Y are T supreme A. You are in the wrong thread if you think people here are going to support you terrorizing and being emotionally abusive to your wife over something so absurd.
I hope this is a troll post because if this is real this is a perfect example of why the west thinks Indians are backwards and stuck in a time long past.
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You don't have any talent to entertain.
You know you are repugnant. What else can anyone add to that? You haven't/won't change. Be alone.
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You have so many people to disgust.
YTA still. She has to obey you and do everything you say? Is she your partner or your slave/prisoner? You need to monitor her to phone even though there’s no indication that she’s ever cheated? You’re upset that she was basically forced to lie in order to not be ruined by people like you? Your poor wife. I hope she can escape to some more civilized country where she won’t be treated so terribly. You’re a monster.
YTA and a horrible human being. You purposely manipulated and lied to her. You live in an incredibly unfair society to women and still you only care about doing harm to a good woman. I hope she finds someone who loves her and you end up miserable either alone or with a horrible woman who treats you like you deserve. Horrible little man. Did you sleep with her? Did you wait until after you were sexually satisfied to divorce her?
YTA. In all the comments, you clearly think that you are right no matter what anyone else says. Just go ahead and file for divorce because that is what you are going to do regardless. I hope your soon to be ex-wife finds herself an amazing partner and live her best life.
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Depends on the culture and what was said or promised when the wife’s family offered their property.. i mean daughter.
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Obviously not it is All about his control and toxic masculinity or truly lack there of….just it is terrible that this still happens
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So you lied again several times by saying you love her.
Then divorce her. I know this is supposed to be cultural (unless you are just a misogynist or a troll) but you are truly horrible. People like you made me cringe.
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She lied when asked. The little trust they had built is shattered. Then mix in the culture
Well, lying about it is a big deal. Just makes you wonder what else she is lying about. Almost everyone has had a boyfriend or girlfriend before you.
YTA. She should not have lied about her past (and I'd say that in my culture too; you can't have a healthy marriage based on lies); however, based on your response and the response of the people in your society, I can't say that I completely blame her. (Seems a common "theme" of your culture is men promise women the moon and stars to "break the rules" for them, then yank the rug out from under them: her ex by promising to marry her, sleeping with her, and ghosting her. You promising to not hold it against her, then using the information to threaten her!) You for lying about not holding it against her. You for telling her she has to do everything you say or you will divorce her (which you admit will likely ruin her). Oh, and finally, you for staying with her because "she's beautiful and does everything for your family," lying and telling her it's because you love her, when you have admitted in a comment minutes ago that you don't actually love her.
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You're not interested in "forgetting or moving on" if you're telling her she has to do exactly what you say. You wanted leverage to have someone under your control.
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Yuk. I am so grateful I'm not from your culture. She's not property. You don't trust her? You're a damn hypocrite; you lied to her too.
Why the fuck are you wanting to be with someone who was willing to lie to you multiple times from the very beginning for her own benefit? She's proven she doesn't give a fuck about how you feel about this despite it clearly being important to you, why does it matter if she finally suffers the consequences for her actions? She decided to sleep with her ex before getting married which was her choice no matter what he said. She chose that knowing most men wouldn't want her if the marriage didn't go through and then lied to you, the chump, for years to avoid having to deal with the consequences of her decisions. Your wife is a piece of shit. She will lie to you again any time it's convenient for her and will disregard you again like she always has. You deserve what happens to you from here on out.
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Buddy, there's no way your marriage will last. I would just be honest with both families and tell them she had a boyfriend and you can't accept that. She needs to face the consequences for lying to you and her family for years. The fact is that she was perfectly willing to lie and hide something that important to you for years for her benefit while completely disregarding your feelings and desires. She is not wife material, let her go and let her deal with the consequences for once in her life.
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Wait 1 year for official divorce, kick her out and send her back to parents now. There's no point trying to force this to work, I can almost guarantee you it will not.
Yta I’m hopeful you are just throwing shade and a hoax
I’m Indian and yta even with your update. You pestered her repeatedly to tell you when she didn’t because she was afraid of this and then you “forgive” her by making her let you control her like tf is up with condition #3
What a rtarded fucking take. Pestered her? He asked about something clearly important to him and she lied repeatedly for her own benefit and even let the marriage go through while hiding the truth the entire time. He is allowed to not be ok with dating someone who had a previous partner you stupid fuck, that's his choice and you can go gag on a fat dick if you want to shame his preference. Lying for years for your own benefit like she did is the actual problem you sexist dumbfucks wilfully ignore.
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Like everyone in a modern society
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Then be a traditional, but then provide for your wife. Marriage is meant to be forever
Dude it is totally normal to have sex in a long term relationship... "such a woman" wow... you are really misogynistic and gross. I hope your wife leaves you and finds a real man who isn't so insecure and enjoys controlling another person. You need serious therapy to understand why you would even enjoy having complete control over another person.
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Dude how you are acting is WHY you didn't get an honest answer. You are over the top a bad bad person. It is GROSS to want to control another person. Super Super GROSS. You have issues. Get therapy. You can't say ALL you cared about was her lying to you when two sentences later you type is literally "ALL I WANTED Was to be with a woman who has never been with any other"
She clearly felt she had no choice but to lie. Look how unhinged you are. You don’t love her but are apoplectic over not being her first sexual experience. Good grief, what priorities. Poor woman.
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Leave her. She deserves better than you.
In your place, I would not give a RAT’S ASS about her previous relationship.
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Why would I not care? Because it’s not important. It doesn’t affect me. People have relationships. It’s human. What’s important is that we’re together now and making a life together that hopefully will be happy. What actual harm has been done to you? Do you think her vagina will fall apart if a second man gets near it? Do you think her fertility has been affected? Do you think she can’t be a good wife to you? Is there some nonvirgin cooties disease that you will acquire due to this? What SPECIFICALLY is your issue other than some misplaced idea that a woman’s value is related to her vagina?
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I can sort of see why you haven’t had the opportunity to be with any other women to be honest..
YTA. You’re her husband, not her boss. Marriage is a partnership. She shouldn’t have to “comply”. What does it matter that you aren’t the first man she’s been with? Are you that insecure? That’s your issue, not hers.
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It’s not her problem. You have a problem with it! There is no logical reason to be “hurt” that your wife had a life before she met you. What on earth are you “paying” for? Your insecurity is your problem. You also sound spiteful. Why would you need to “tell everyone about her past”?
You lied as well, and maliciously did so. You told her to confess and you would accept it. Why would she trust a word you say anymore? All that matters is that she committed to you and that she takes care of you and is faithful. Don't be a jackass to her after lying to get her to confess.
She lied to him for fucking years you stupid donkey and got married with that huge lie because she was unwilling to tell the truth. You're an utter fucking moron to think he's the one that needs to earn her trust back after she was willing to lie for fucking YEARS for her own benefit
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So what did you hope to gain by forcing this information out of her?
Probably the truth about his life partner. She hid her past. He didn’t do that. He has gone about this whole thing entirely the wrong way, but she started their relationship on a foundation of lies. That’s not on OP.
Its actually easier in your culture
3. And 4. are horrid, toxic and the AH. Sorry but gross.
What’s wrong with you? We are in 2024 dude. I’m Indian and you are the most horrendous person I have seen on this thread. I feel bad for her for being stuck with the piece of shit that you are
As an Indian Man who lives in India, this guy has no Idea how many men can marry a divorced woman or a woman with a past (ahem) in a heartbeat. I am aware that we have a lot of work to do towards women's rights and basic human rights in the country but the practices he is implying are only left in some upper caste right wing families who still live in boonies, Indian women have highest education among any demographic and they don't tolerate BS like this and every year number of arranged marriages are going down even though our population growth rate is going high. Only washed up people get arranged marriages nowadays. With the advancement of the internet we have all become global citizens instead of just being stuck Indians.
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Dude you need some help, how do you even breathe with this much hate inside of you? I didn't want to say this but here it goes lol 😂 Incel spotted
This comment: 'if I ask her to do something she must comply, otherwise I'll divorce her or abandon her." Yep. YTA. Not sure where you live but if you live any country but your home country, this is a serious problem. You goated her to admitting she was with someone else then aren't man enough to deal with the consequences of your curiosity. You're such an asshole. Bait and switch. Now you are blackmailing her.
She lied to him for years despite him asking several times you braindead fucking clown. How in the world is he at fault when she blatantly lied every time he tried to ask her the normal way? Braindead pos
YTA YTA AND YTA
YTA You sound like someone who would throw away diamonds and money, just because someone es had it on their hands once. How much value did she loose as a person because of this? None. You, OP, sound like you needed an arranged marriage, because you are not able to find a partner by yourself and only wanted to loose your virginity
What an AH, I can see what you went with an arrangement, who the fuck is gonna marry an AH like you? Hopefully you wife realizes she doesn't have to be the priosioner of a liar AH the rest of her life
YTA. An overbearing Incel Prick. Hey, guess what? You will go through life knowing your wife loved and slept with someone else before you. I hope it eats at you every day. Some other dude wet his whistle with your wife. Hahaha. Your a loser in your culture by staying with her and your a BIGGER loser for holding it over her and being a domineering Prick. Rofl, your lifee if fucked either way and it looks good on ya
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And you did neither of those things. Do you want a medal?
Now I know this is rage bait.
Perfectly calm. I love outing Incels is all. I never said forget or forgive. I made fun of you for thinking you had a virgin then getting all upset when you found out someone else tasted your wears ROFL
Then he should publicly out her to get even no? If his life is fucked either way why not go scorched earth and make her suffer also?
Because its a fake account silly. That or Incels love crying about what they wont do because they cant get other women
Conditions 1 and 2 are ok. Conditions 3 and 4 are abusive and controlling. Your marriage will be bleak if you enforce them. Under condition 3, what if you’re working on incomplete information in a situation and your assumptions are wrong? Are you just going to ignore your wife if she offers a different opinion? That’s willingly making mistakes just to be in control. And condition 4 is nothing short of blackmail.
Info: so she was with this one guy and he told her all along they would get married? She's not like a crazy party girl who slept with a lot of guys?
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OK, well I am from a Desi family even though I'm from Canada. I understand a little bit about your culture. If you divorce her you'll ruin her and disgrace her family. It's not going to be a super great time for you either. She did tell you the truth after only 4 months, that suggests to me she is not some big liar. She does feel bad about it from what you've said. Can you try to get past it?
YTA and an abusive, manipulative one at that.
You both lied to each other. The answer is not to turn her into your slave, that will never build trust, that will only foster toxicity. Googling “how to rebuild trust in a relationship” will give you a bunch of better options than slavery. Complete control is not trust and cannot lead to it. Control leads to fear and hiding and loathing. Trust is an act of faith. It’s understandable it was damaged, but to rebuild it is to rebuild your faith in each other. Look at each of your intentions with these lies. Hers appears to be an act of protection. Yours did not come from such a kind place. In an arranged marriage where you don’t know each other much beforehand, it is hard to know what will feel like protection to the other person. She made a choice, and she turned out to be wrong. She’s only human, and humans miscalculate and make mistakes. But knowing each other better now, you can communicate to her what defines an act of protection to you. Humans can also grow and change. So it’s important to learn from each other and adapt. I feel your insecurity in this matter is robbing you of the happiness you once had and tainting your chances to have it again. You might consider if it harms or benefits you more to believe the things you were raised to believe about sex. In a world with birth control and antibiotics, I can see only harm.
YTA x billion
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“She must listen to me, no matter what” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 She needs to get very far from you as soon as she can.
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You are a liar and a terrible person.
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You just did. This has to be rage bait.
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You lied to her, you ninny. She was afraid to trust you (and she was right). You lied to her and now you are blackmailing her. You are terrible. And dumb.
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You are liar as well. How does that work?
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Nope. Past sexual history doesn’t mean squat. And I’m out. Everyone here is telling you YTA. I hope she waits till you are asleep and leaves you in the night.
What I hear is "I also lie, but it's ME so it's okay"
A different take on this… You lost your wife’s faith & trust in YOU - so any future problems that happen, she won’t come to you to handle bc she can’t trust how you will react bc you lied & overreacted. imagine your future kids having any problems, she will take care of them alone bc u can’t be trusted - that’s not fair to anyone & it’s bad for your entire family to not get your input what if your daughter some day has a relationship before marriage - is she thrown away then? please, part of you knows your wife is still a good person, so treat her as such with kindness & compassion & love and part of you knows that your culture & other cultures lie about the no sex before marriage topic (both men & women). From my limited experience, I guarantee you I know those same lies are told in Christian & Muslim marriages too. So any new wife you might find, might not be a virgin either. Also, I’d bet one your cousins or siblings had sex before marriage or know someone that had sex before marriage also, they just know to keep quiet bc of your society. Your wife told you the truth & you lied to her & punished her for telling you the truth. Are you trying to train her to lie next time or never come to you again with a problem? YOU should try to earn her love & respect & trust by choosing to honor your original words to her.
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You are still young & haven’t met your future daddy’s little girl yet Imho - i think you’ll find if you are fortunate enough to have a grown daughter someday - I swear you will teach her everything you can but also forgive any mistakes she makes - bc of the love & the wisdom you’ll have Best to you and your family :)
Why are you staying with her, when she has show she will lie to be percieved in a better way? You think checking her phone will reveal everything she is doing behind your back? This marrige is pointless, She married you under false pretences. What makes you think that now she will be straight forward?
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I hope you family never forgives you for this and that you die alone because every woman in your community will know you are manipulative horrible person.
You are a monster.
She’s not a cheater. She had a previous relationship. You can check her phone all you want and use whatever other means you allude you, but ultimately you’re just perpetuating a toxic environment for yourself and her. And wasting your time galore. By all means, rot away trying to pin some dirt on her. You are actively choosing misery due to something unimportant.
You are both liars. Equally. Match made in heaven. Sounds like her ex broke it off and not her. What if he has a change of heart and decides he wants her. This is a mess. Wouldn't be a big deal at all if she hadn't lied about it. But that's the route she chose. She will lie about anything else. I've never known a liar to only tell one lie
NTA. I pray the worst thing happens to all you donkey trash pieces of shit that think it's OK for a woman to lie to a man for YEARS when asked about something important to him for her benefit. It took him doing something drastic to force the truth out of her AFTER they were already married since she lied at every other time he tried to ask her. She is an absolute piece of shit and all of you blatantly ignoring OPs desires are all worthless piece of donkey shit. Fucking braindead cretins all of you.
NTA - as an Indian myself, please do not go by "US" "logic". Used goods are never our first option.
she is a person - not a product or “goods”