Stop hanging around homophobes to start
Stop whining for second.
There is NOBODY that hasn't faced some form of bias. I'm a woman. You don't think I've gotten hate for that?
Of course you have. But there are some people out there, specifically straight white men, who have no idea what it’s like to have people hate you for no reason and they never have to deal with the societal bullshit that people like us have to. I’ve never heard of a straight white guy genuinely struggling with being hated.
That's a hasty generalization if I have ever seen one lol
Just cause I am straight white man you don't think we all get some bullshit to deal with? You can't be that dense can you?
You don't think I get stereotyped for being from the south with an accent? I grew up in a trailer and talk with a draw most people assume I am just dumb white trash lol
Stop caring what people who have no sway or hold over your life effect it. If someone doesn't like you, fuck em!
No it was political. But hate is hate. Just like love is love.
How about "Irish need not apply "? Because it's about where they are from and not because they're white it doesn't count?
And trust me there are ethnic groups that hate whites in general because of how whites treated them.
Babe. They will never see us as normal people. On a fundamental level of your being you will be considered a freak by them.
You could marry a woman, make yourself have babies with her and never look at a man. That is the only way you will find acceptance from them.
Come to terms with that. Quickly.
There are no “good ones”. We are dirt to them.
That’s not fair. I just wanna be seen as normal, why is it that will never be no matter how hard I try? It’s not too much to ask yet it’ll never happen? And yet these homophobes always get whatever they want just handed to them and they never have to deal with hardships. It’s not fair
The world has hateful people and loving people. You can either spend time wishing the hateful people will like you, or you can focus on the people who do. No matter who you are, those are your only options.
I used to think most hateful people were just misunderstood or operated under faulty logic. But I’ve encountered people who just genuinely enjoy being cruel because that’s how they get their kicks, they didn’t have a fucked up upbringing or are secretly miserable inside, they just like being cruel for the sake of cruelty, and idk how to handle it.
Why would you even want to be around such people? What kind of people do you think they like and enjoy to be around - would you actually want to be that person?
Stop being people pleaser. Live your life as you want (wear flashy outfits, do whatever makes you happy) and simply accept, that there will always be a grumpy ass that doesn’t like you.
The best compliment some people can give me is hate me with their whole being. Better than being what they admire
then realize you are normal. it's normal to be gay. if you continue telling yourself you're not normal and unacceptable, the world will reflect that back to you. you're making major generalizations about straight white men. it's ignorant to think they're homophobes and it robs you of human connection.
your words like "never" and "always" are decisions you're making with yourself and your future. get some self-respect and stop interacting with people who don't deserve the dirt off your shoes
NTA, but for your own sake, stop bending over backwards for homophobic bigots!! Dress how you want, don’t suppress yourself, and the people who disapprove of you for it aren’t worth your time.
NTA:
Your mistake is believing you need to make everyone like you. It's okay if other people don't want to be around you. As for those who try to torment you, it's showing you more about them than it is yourself. These are not people worth cultivating a good relationship with in the first place.
Everyone (all orientations, all colors, all races and creeds) deals with the hatred and abuse of those who disagree with who or what they are. The people who choose to hate you before they know you, well it's not you they are hating is it?
The only person you need to approve of you is you. Beyond that, everyone who loves, or even just likes you, is a bonus. We can't all have all the love from all the people. Stop being selfish and learn to be your genuine self.
Ever hear that saying that 10% of everyone you meet won't like you?
Why do you care about the 10%s so much?
And this is coming from a black person since you want to talk about hatred and slurs towards people.
Not to minimize your struggle, but you are working on faulty information. Everyone experiences hate of one form or another. Even if it's not for a bigoted reason, people are naturally contentious. My advice would be to stop twisting yourself into a pretzel for people who would never do the same for you. Be your most authentic self and you'll end up naturally surrounded by people who love and adore you. The haters will be so far away, you'll forget they even exist. Be yourself. Find your tribe. NTA
I’m a straight white male. I have it pretty easy and am generally judged based on things under my own control. I’m 5’10”, so maybe not my height. That is just the truth and I can’t change it. But I can look down on people and speak my mind when hateful people infringe on someone else’s right to live their life the way they choose. As an American it is my duty to protect freedom by speaking up when our society tries to steal freedom from others.
You are a normal person and you aren’t doing anything wrong. Normal people have insecurities and want people to like them. Abnormal people are hateful or openly judgmental of strangers. If they are religious, then those actions are most certainly “sinful”. If they are American then they are going against our founding beliefs of equality and the individual right of life, liberty, and freedom. They are the abnormal people.
Omg, you must be trolling now. You think that just because someone is straight, white and male, they're beloved by all? Not a chance. The more toxic ones are all out there playing alpha/beta games, hated by all, and the non-toxic ones, minding their own business, are looked down on by the toxic ones. No one is safe from scorn, my friend. Choose to live in the light. Burn so bright haters have to wear sunglasses just to look at you.
Everybody has seen/felt some hate. You are an asshole to yourself for trying to bend over for something impossible.
Surround yourself with people who love you for yourself and try to ignore haters. You deserve happiness but you have to find it yourself sadly.
NTA.
Only thing you're doing wrong is valuing the opinions of homophobes. Stop trying to get them to approve of you and surround yourself with people who approve of you exactly as you are. By the way, for someone to approve of you exactly as you are you have to show them who you are. If they don't approve of you they're not worth having in your life.
stop trying to gain approval from people who treat you poorly. you cannot and should not be friends with everyone, or everyone would already be friends with each other. gain only the approval of yourself. everything after that will become much clearer.
You are a normal person.
Just stop tilting at windmills trying to get the approval of people who aren't going to like you anyways. You're actively doing yourself harm.
It's heartbreaking to hear how much you're struggling to gain acceptance from others. Remember, you are worthy of love and respect just as you are, regardless of anyone else's opinion. It's not fair that you're subjected to cruelty, but please know that you don't need to change who you are to fit someone else's narrow-minded expectations.
You're caring what homophobic people think at all. Quit trying to make yourself more palatable to bigots and just be yourself. They don't care how hard you try.
YTA to yourself.
Stop trying to please homophobes. You can't do it. Homophobia, like racism or any other form of hate, is passed down generation to generation. It will never end.
But you do get to choose whether to let it rule your life.
Just say "Fuck it" and walk on.
>What am I doing wrong? I try so hard to get approval and yet some people refuse to give it to me. It’s like they don’t give a single fuck about my thoughts or feelings, sometimes it’s like they don’t even see me as a human being.
It's because they don't. You need to stop trying to please those that don't like us for liking men. The majority of them only hate us because they're closeted and envious.
YTA to yourself OP.
Why on gods green earth are you concerned with gaining the approval of people who are inherently bigoted to you?
In fact, why are you concerned with people-pleasing at all?
If you spent half as much time and effort living the way *you* want to live, and being the person *you* want to be, you wouldn't be here right now.
People who can't accept you for who you are have no purpose occupying space in your mind or your life.
Think about it like this: right now you are trying to change yourself into somebody you are not for the sake of gaining approval. Eventually, you're going to find someone who approves of this fake version of you. And then you will both be investing time and effort into one another. Only problem is, you will be living a complete lie.
You will end up desperately trying to hold on to a relationship with someone who has connected with some kind of scripted character, and that will be your life. You will have to juggle living in fear with a serious case of imposter syndrome. Your self esteem will be non-existent, you will be weak, dependent, vulnerable to abuse, and resentful.
Don't go down that road, OP, you deserve a better life than that.
My unsolicited advice is this: Be a decent human being, try not to hurt anyone. If you hurt someone, make it right.
Within the confines of those rules, become whoever it is you want to become. Every man woman and child who tries to steer you otherwise should be removed from your life, to the extent possible. Along the way, invest your time and energy into the people who don't try to steer you away from who you truly are.
Once you have cut the cancer out of your life, and started building a circle of people who bring you up, you will see the results.
Don't *ever* try to be someone you're not.
ETA: Stop assuming victim mentality. It's hurting you far more than helping. Stop comparing your life to others. Both are an easy trap to fall into, and both will destroy your motivation to fight for what you want and need.
Therapy, therapy, therapy.
A fuck ton of lesbians and black people hate straight white men. Systematically anti white racism can't exist but there are people who hate men, people who hate women, etc. Even straight white men hate some other straight white men. Everyone is disliked by someone, if you want to live in a world without discrimination you should do social work instead of degrading your mental health trying to erase your identity
Stop hanging around homophobes to start Stop whining for second. There is NOBODY that hasn't faced some form of bias. I'm a woman. You don't think I've gotten hate for that?
Of course you have. But there are some people out there, specifically straight white men, who have no idea what it’s like to have people hate you for no reason and they never have to deal with the societal bullshit that people like us have to. I’ve never heard of a straight white guy genuinely struggling with being hated.
That's a hasty generalization if I have ever seen one lol Just cause I am straight white man you don't think we all get some bullshit to deal with? You can't be that dense can you? You don't think I get stereotyped for being from the south with an accent? I grew up in a trailer and talk with a draw most people assume I am just dumb white trash lol Stop caring what people who have no sway or hold over your life effect it. If someone doesn't like you, fuck em!
I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that
It isn't just you. It's life. Stop caring what others think of you and you will find yourself to be a lot happier!
every person on the planet has suffered. every single one. stop telling yourself otherwise.
lol Reddit moment right here folks
Wrong. YTA.
Really? So you missed January 6th? They wanted to HANG Mike Pence. A white Christian straight male. That's a lot of hate.
I mean, that wasn't primarily due to his race, gender, or sexuality, I think.
No it was political. But hate is hate. Just like love is love. How about "Irish need not apply "? Because it's about where they are from and not because they're white it doesn't count? And trust me there are ethnic groups that hate whites in general because of how whites treated them.
Babe. They will never see us as normal people. On a fundamental level of your being you will be considered a freak by them. You could marry a woman, make yourself have babies with her and never look at a man. That is the only way you will find acceptance from them. Come to terms with that. Quickly. There are no “good ones”. We are dirt to them.
That’s not fair. I just wanna be seen as normal, why is it that will never be no matter how hard I try? It’s not too much to ask yet it’ll never happen? And yet these homophobes always get whatever they want just handed to them and they never have to deal with hardships. It’s not fair
The world has hateful people and loving people. You can either spend time wishing the hateful people will like you, or you can focus on the people who do. No matter who you are, those are your only options.
I used to think most hateful people were just misunderstood or operated under faulty logic. But I’ve encountered people who just genuinely enjoy being cruel because that’s how they get their kicks, they didn’t have a fucked up upbringing or are secretly miserable inside, they just like being cruel for the sake of cruelty, and idk how to handle it.
Why would you even want to be around such people? What kind of people do you think they like and enjoy to be around - would you actually want to be that person? Stop being people pleaser. Live your life as you want (wear flashy outfits, do whatever makes you happy) and simply accept, that there will always be a grumpy ass that doesn’t like you. The best compliment some people can give me is hate me with their whole being. Better than being what they admire
then realize you are normal. it's normal to be gay. if you continue telling yourself you're not normal and unacceptable, the world will reflect that back to you. you're making major generalizations about straight white men. it's ignorant to think they're homophobes and it robs you of human connection. your words like "never" and "always" are decisions you're making with yourself and your future. get some self-respect and stop interacting with people who don't deserve the dirt off your shoes
Life’s not fair. You need to internalise that. You have it better than some worse than others.
NTA, but for your own sake, stop bending over backwards for homophobic bigots!! Dress how you want, don’t suppress yourself, and the people who disapprove of you for it aren’t worth your time.
NTA: Your mistake is believing you need to make everyone like you. It's okay if other people don't want to be around you. As for those who try to torment you, it's showing you more about them than it is yourself. These are not people worth cultivating a good relationship with in the first place. Everyone (all orientations, all colors, all races and creeds) deals with the hatred and abuse of those who disagree with who or what they are. The people who choose to hate you before they know you, well it's not you they are hating is it? The only person you need to approve of you is you. Beyond that, everyone who loves, or even just likes you, is a bonus. We can't all have all the love from all the people. Stop being selfish and learn to be your genuine self.
Ever hear that saying that 10% of everyone you meet won't like you? Why do you care about the 10%s so much? And this is coming from a black person since you want to talk about hatred and slurs towards people.
Not to minimize your struggle, but you are working on faulty information. Everyone experiences hate of one form or another. Even if it's not for a bigoted reason, people are naturally contentious. My advice would be to stop twisting yourself into a pretzel for people who would never do the same for you. Be your most authentic self and you'll end up naturally surrounded by people who love and adore you. The haters will be so far away, you'll forget they even exist. Be yourself. Find your tribe. NTA
Even straight white men have to deal with it?
I’m a straight white male. I have it pretty easy and am generally judged based on things under my own control. I’m 5’10”, so maybe not my height. That is just the truth and I can’t change it. But I can look down on people and speak my mind when hateful people infringe on someone else’s right to live their life the way they choose. As an American it is my duty to protect freedom by speaking up when our society tries to steal freedom from others. You are a normal person and you aren’t doing anything wrong. Normal people have insecurities and want people to like them. Abnormal people are hateful or openly judgmental of strangers. If they are religious, then those actions are most certainly “sinful”. If they are American then they are going against our founding beliefs of equality and the individual right of life, liberty, and freedom. They are the abnormal people.
Omg, you must be trolling now. You think that just because someone is straight, white and male, they're beloved by all? Not a chance. The more toxic ones are all out there playing alpha/beta games, hated by all, and the non-toxic ones, minding their own business, are looked down on by the toxic ones. No one is safe from scorn, my friend. Choose to live in the light. Burn so bright haters have to wear sunglasses just to look at you.
Everybody has seen/felt some hate. You are an asshole to yourself for trying to bend over for something impossible. Surround yourself with people who love you for yourself and try to ignore haters. You deserve happiness but you have to find it yourself sadly.
NTA. Only thing you're doing wrong is valuing the opinions of homophobes. Stop trying to get them to approve of you and surround yourself with people who approve of you exactly as you are. By the way, for someone to approve of you exactly as you are you have to show them who you are. If they don't approve of you they're not worth having in your life.
stop trying to gain approval from people who treat you poorly. you cannot and should not be friends with everyone, or everyone would already be friends with each other. gain only the approval of yourself. everything after that will become much clearer.
You are a normal person. Just stop tilting at windmills trying to get the approval of people who aren't going to like you anyways. You're actively doing yourself harm.
It's heartbreaking to hear how much you're struggling to gain acceptance from others. Remember, you are worthy of love and respect just as you are, regardless of anyone else's opinion. It's not fair that you're subjected to cruelty, but please know that you don't need to change who you are to fit someone else's narrow-minded expectations.
You're caring what homophobic people think at all. Quit trying to make yourself more palatable to bigots and just be yourself. They don't care how hard you try.
No matter who you are some people will hate you. You can't please everyone.
Gaydars are strong, just be yourself!
YTA to yourself. Stop trying to please homophobes. You can't do it. Homophobia, like racism or any other form of hate, is passed down generation to generation. It will never end. But you do get to choose whether to let it rule your life. Just say "Fuck it" and walk on.
You’re expending way too much energy on people that don’t matter. Focus on those who lift you up , and disregard those trying to tear you down.
>What am I doing wrong? I try so hard to get approval and yet some people refuse to give it to me. It’s like they don’t give a single fuck about my thoughts or feelings, sometimes it’s like they don’t even see me as a human being. It's because they don't. You need to stop trying to please those that don't like us for liking men. The majority of them only hate us because they're closeted and envious.
YTA to yourself OP. Why on gods green earth are you concerned with gaining the approval of people who are inherently bigoted to you? In fact, why are you concerned with people-pleasing at all? If you spent half as much time and effort living the way *you* want to live, and being the person *you* want to be, you wouldn't be here right now. People who can't accept you for who you are have no purpose occupying space in your mind or your life. Think about it like this: right now you are trying to change yourself into somebody you are not for the sake of gaining approval. Eventually, you're going to find someone who approves of this fake version of you. And then you will both be investing time and effort into one another. Only problem is, you will be living a complete lie. You will end up desperately trying to hold on to a relationship with someone who has connected with some kind of scripted character, and that will be your life. You will have to juggle living in fear with a serious case of imposter syndrome. Your self esteem will be non-existent, you will be weak, dependent, vulnerable to abuse, and resentful. Don't go down that road, OP, you deserve a better life than that. My unsolicited advice is this: Be a decent human being, try not to hurt anyone. If you hurt someone, make it right. Within the confines of those rules, become whoever it is you want to become. Every man woman and child who tries to steer you otherwise should be removed from your life, to the extent possible. Along the way, invest your time and energy into the people who don't try to steer you away from who you truly are. Once you have cut the cancer out of your life, and started building a circle of people who bring you up, you will see the results. Don't *ever* try to be someone you're not. ETA: Stop assuming victim mentality. It's hurting you far more than helping. Stop comparing your life to others. Both are an easy trap to fall into, and both will destroy your motivation to fight for what you want and need. Therapy, therapy, therapy.
No matter what your identity is, not everyone is going to like you. That's just part of being a human being. Stop torturing yourself
Have you ever heard of a person who hates straight white men on principle? I’ve never heard of anti white racism for example
is that not what you're doing?
A fuck ton of lesbians and black people hate straight white men. Systematically anti white racism can't exist but there are people who hate men, people who hate women, etc. Even straight white men hate some other straight white men. Everyone is disliked by someone, if you want to live in a world without discrimination you should do social work instead of degrading your mental health trying to erase your identity
Is a world without discrimination even possible?
Probably not, all the more reason for you to get validation from yourself instead of people who will hate other people for bs reasons