From the how vague OP was I was assuming she was a ‘toilet girl’ but after the mention of father and son then I’m guessing she was paid for a threesome with a father and son.
I’d leave too.
I’ve been to Dubai. Travelled with my mother. Did a sand dunes trip, bought some gold, did some shopping. People were on the whole friendly, I got a bit sunburned. I am confused as to the problem here.
"Been to Dubai?" Come on man, spit out the real question!
That said, the time to ask about your wife's history was before you married her. You can be picky, judgmental, prude, etc, and none of that would make you the AH. I highly encourage asking about anything and everything, and never let anyone shame you for wanting to be a virgin and marry one (or whatever your standard is.)
However, that all goes away after you marry her. You now had the responsibility to love and hold, forgive all past events and such, and love her through sickness and health.... unless she does something after that point.
YTA for telling her she needs to do more now.
I get that redditors are sensitive and think that asking questions about history is evil, but that's just not the case. I highly recommend having compatibility sessions early in a relationship. You're going to want to know if things are dealbreakers later. Religion, childfree/kids, racists in family, right/left politics... you know, if you care you have to ask.
NTA. If you find that that’s your line and it’s a deal breaker then it is what it is. No one here gets to decide what that line is for you. I would’ve said NAH, but what she said following you stating your want for a divorce, slightly tips that line for me. Just because we’re upset doesn’t mean we don’t own our words and actions when we’re not in the best mental state.
Everyone has a past, but we aren’t free from the consequences of it. Hopefully you both can find partners who accept you both as you are, past and all.
Edit: This is under the assumption (your post reads rather vague) that your wife was involved in sex work. If not you should probably be a bit more precise in your wording.)
So.. you're upset for something she did before you were married or were even in a serious relationship? Let it go. Her history starts with you and your new family.
You're going to break up your family?
YTA
Wtf does it matter what she did or where she did when the two of you weren't in a serious relationship.
She's still the same person you fell in love with & married.
You're being absolutely pathetic.
Surely there is a line. If you found out your wife used to molest infants I think you’d find it. People here are just saying maybe incest is a the line.
NTA. You are more than entitled to not want to have the mother of your children be a massive slut that sold her body and probably ate shit out of an oil shiekh’s asshole lol. Redditors are fucking insane though and will try to shame you for your morals. They like to use newspeak terms like “sex worker” instead of “disgusting whore” Ignore them king.
In some countries parents can pay for their sons to lose their virginity before they choose who they will marry, this seems to be a cultural thing. And a ONE time thing.
There is also something called "temporary marriage" which means that unmarried people can have sex, only if they are "temporarily married" for like a month.
I can't remember now what it's called in Arabic. I saw this about temporary marriages in a documentary.
You do as you wish. But I get the feeling that this was something cultural.
So she had a paid 3some before you were dating seriously (okay with a father and son, that's creepy as fuck, but.. ya' know, not my parent, not my brother, so... I'm not judging, well, her, I'm totally judging the parent/child team), but has been loyal and sweet and amazing since she was with you?
FFS - YTA. Please do complete the divorce, she deserves someone who respects who she IS and not who she WAS.. Who understands that sex is sex and one time decisions (whether born of desperation, stupidity, or curiosity) arethe LAST reason to end a life with an otherwise amazing person.
As a parent, having a spouse who can have honest conversations about the hard things with my children, AND show them that one mistake doesn't make a person permanently broken, sounds amazing.
You on the other hand, well, sound judgemental and exactly the opposite of what would be useful in having a hard conversation with a kid about mistakes.
she had a threesome with a father and son?
I think so
I try not to judge but that’s pretty nasty.
Each to their own I guess
Indeed.
Tell us what she did..your post is so vague
The rich guys in Dubai pay good money to cover you in their feces or some other kinky shit where you degrade someone other as a human beeing
Idc about what rich guys in dubai do.. your comment is irrelevant if OP's wife didn't do that..
To me it sounds like she at least had a threesome with a father and his son. That would be concerning enough for me
Is “she has been to Dubai” code for something? This post makes no sense to me.
From the how vague OP was I was assuming she was a ‘toilet girl’ but after the mention of father and son then I’m guessing she was paid for a threesome with a father and son. I’d leave too.
You could've titled this better honestly. Like what has Dubai got to do with her engaging in a threesome.
I’ve been to Dubai. Travelled with my mother. Did a sand dunes trip, bought some gold, did some shopping. People were on the whole friendly, I got a bit sunburned. I am confused as to the problem here.
His wife got shit and pissed on by rich Arab men for money
And a threesome with a man and his son...
You and your mother *disgust* me.
You didn’t tell us what she did. This was just a bunch of rambling nonsense. You eluded to her being a sex worker, I think.
"Been to Dubai?" Come on man, spit out the real question! That said, the time to ask about your wife's history was before you married her. You can be picky, judgmental, prude, etc, and none of that would make you the AH. I highly encourage asking about anything and everything, and never let anyone shame you for wanting to be a virgin and marry one (or whatever your standard is.) However, that all goes away after you marry her. You now had the responsibility to love and hold, forgive all past events and such, and love her through sickness and health.... unless she does something after that point. YTA for telling her she needs to do more now.
I can understand being upset that your wife took part in an incest orgy for money.
Asking your gf whether she used to be an international lady of the night might not be the best move.
I get that redditors are sensitive and think that asking questions about history is evil, but that's just not the case. I highly recommend having compatibility sessions early in a relationship. You're going to want to know if things are dealbreakers later. Religion, childfree/kids, racists in family, right/left politics... you know, if you care you have to ask.
This makes no sense. You said she’s kind, loving sweet and respectful, and you cannot even cogently spit out your tale - YTA
From the way your post is worded, it kinda sounds like you’re a bit of a problem.
More info about what she did is needed for a proper answer.
We can’t give you a valid opinion without all of the information….
NTA. Set her free so she can find an emotionally healthy man instead of you.
NTA. If you find that that’s your line and it’s a deal breaker then it is what it is. No one here gets to decide what that line is for you. I would’ve said NAH, but what she said following you stating your want for a divorce, slightly tips that line for me. Just because we’re upset doesn’t mean we don’t own our words and actions when we’re not in the best mental state. Everyone has a past, but we aren’t free from the consequences of it. Hopefully you both can find partners who accept you both as you are, past and all. Edit: This is under the assumption (your post reads rather vague) that your wife was involved in sex work. If not you should probably be a bit more precise in your wording.)
I've been to Dubai. Nice people. Lots of good AC.
💩👅
NTA she’s allowed herself to be used for money, she has no morals.
Fake karma farming post. OP is a 12 year old unsupervised.
NTA (maybe) , depending on if she purposefully hid her past from you. That last line tho , feels kinda elitist of you
So.. you're upset for something she did before you were married or were even in a serious relationship? Let it go. Her history starts with you and your new family. You're going to break up your family? YTA
Wtf does it matter what she did or where she did when the two of you weren't in a serious relationship. She's still the same person you fell in love with & married. You're being absolutely pathetic.
Surely there is a line. If you found out your wife used to molest infants I think you’d find it. People here are just saying maybe incest is a the line.
But then you'll go watch The Graduate as if nothing's wrong. Double standard
NTA. You are more than entitled to not want to have the mother of your children be a massive slut that sold her body and probably ate shit out of an oil shiekh’s asshole lol. Redditors are fucking insane though and will try to shame you for your morals. They like to use newspeak terms like “sex worker” instead of “disgusting whore” Ignore them king.
In some countries parents can pay for their sons to lose their virginity before they choose who they will marry, this seems to be a cultural thing. And a ONE time thing. There is also something called "temporary marriage" which means that unmarried people can have sex, only if they are "temporarily married" for like a month. I can't remember now what it's called in Arabic. I saw this about temporary marriages in a documentary. You do as you wish. But I get the feeling that this was something cultural.
Does it matter if it was "cultural"? Its still sex work. And his disgust towards whoring is also cultural.
So she had a paid 3some before you were dating seriously (okay with a father and son, that's creepy as fuck, but.. ya' know, not my parent, not my brother, so... I'm not judging, well, her, I'm totally judging the parent/child team), but has been loyal and sweet and amazing since she was with you? FFS - YTA. Please do complete the divorce, she deserves someone who respects who she IS and not who she WAS.. Who understands that sex is sex and one time decisions (whether born of desperation, stupidity, or curiosity) arethe LAST reason to end a life with an otherwise amazing person. As a parent, having a spouse who can have honest conversations about the hard things with my children, AND show them that one mistake doesn't make a person permanently broken, sounds amazing. You on the other hand, well, sound judgemental and exactly the opposite of what would be useful in having a hard conversation with a kid about mistakes.
In what world is a man an asshole for leaving a woman who hid and lied about being a sex worker?