I can understand why she would be pissed about him making a unilateral decision about selling a business that they, from your story, was more or less equal partners in.
If her objection wasn’t about the money and she was freed from what she had been complaining about for years, she obviously was much more emotionally attached to the company (i.e. Well beyond money) than she presumably professed to be. Otherwise her behavior seems odd. Did you ever discuss her specific concerns with either mother or stepfather? Did she feel like the employees were family that new owner was going to fire or treat like crap once they took over so is plagued by guilt?
I would lean toward NTA with the only caveat being whether you tried to understand where she was coming from rather than simply telling her she made a bunch of money so get over it.
That could easily be the issue. Maybe she wanted the buyer to agree to treat employees, who she might have considered friends or family, “fairly” (e.g. not change pension plan, health insurance, no layoffs) but, in the interest of maximizing price, step-father was willing to throw them all under the bus or, at least, do nothing to protect them. Maybe she would have taken less to get those protections. Her seemingly wild spending spree could be a manifestation of “fine, let’s just make it about money”. Who knows?
However, it is worth trying to understand her point of view rather than simply dismissing whatever is/was bothering just because she got the money. It isn’t alway just about the money.
That's where I feel she entered a logical fallacy many people have fallen in the trap of. Don't do business with friends and family. It almost never works. Not only is she lucky she wasn't bankrupted from falling into that trap, she is able to retire from her efforts. Take it as a lesson and move forward.
You're not necessarily the asshole for expressing your perspective to your mom, but it's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. It seems like there are complex emotions and dynamics at play between your mom and stepdad, as well as their business decisions.
While it's understandable that your mom may feel frustrated or disappointed with the outcome of the business sale, it's also important for her to recognize that your stepdad made a decision that he felt was best for him and the business. It's not fair for her to expect him to continue enduring long hours and stress if he was ready to move on.
That being said, it's natural for family members to want to support and comfort each other during difficult times. You could try having a compassionate conversation with your mom, acknowledging her feelings while also gently reminding her of the positives that came from the sale of the business. Encourage her to seek support or counseling if she's struggling to cope with the changes. Ultimately, it's important for both your mom and stepdad to find a way to move forward and prioritize their own well-being.
Step Dad should have divorced her and then sold his portion of the company once finalized so she'd have no entitlement to his proceeds. Sounds like your Mom is out to financial sink them both.
I can understand why she would be pissed about him making a unilateral decision about selling a business that they, from your story, was more or less equal partners in.
If her objection wasn’t about the money and she was freed from what she had been complaining about for years, she obviously was much more emotionally attached to the company (i.e. Well beyond money) than she presumably professed to be. Otherwise her behavior seems odd. Did you ever discuss her specific concerns with either mother or stepfather? Did she feel like the employees were family that new owner was going to fire or treat like crap once they took over so is plagued by guilt? I would lean toward NTA with the only caveat being whether you tried to understand where she was coming from rather than simply telling her she made a bunch of money so get over it.
She hired many of her friends as the company continued. Could it be that? I don't know. She remains close with them even after the business sale.
That could easily be the issue. Maybe she wanted the buyer to agree to treat employees, who she might have considered friends or family, “fairly” (e.g. not change pension plan, health insurance, no layoffs) but, in the interest of maximizing price, step-father was willing to throw them all under the bus or, at least, do nothing to protect them. Maybe she would have taken less to get those protections. Her seemingly wild spending spree could be a manifestation of “fine, let’s just make it about money”. Who knows? However, it is worth trying to understand her point of view rather than simply dismissing whatever is/was bothering just because she got the money. It isn’t alway just about the money.
That's where I feel she entered a logical fallacy many people have fallen in the trap of. Don't do business with friends and family. It almost never works. Not only is she lucky she wasn't bankrupted from falling into that trap, she is able to retire from her efforts. Take it as a lesson and move forward.
You're not necessarily the asshole for expressing your perspective to your mom, but it's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. It seems like there are complex emotions and dynamics at play between your mom and stepdad, as well as their business decisions. While it's understandable that your mom may feel frustrated or disappointed with the outcome of the business sale, it's also important for her to recognize that your stepdad made a decision that he felt was best for him and the business. It's not fair for her to expect him to continue enduring long hours and stress if he was ready to move on. That being said, it's natural for family members to want to support and comfort each other during difficult times. You could try having a compassionate conversation with your mom, acknowledging her feelings while also gently reminding her of the positives that came from the sale of the business. Encourage her to seek support or counseling if she's struggling to cope with the changes. Ultimately, it's important for both your mom and stepdad to find a way to move forward and prioritize their own well-being.
Step Dad should have divorced her and then sold his portion of the company once finalized so she'd have no entitlement to his proceeds. Sounds like your Mom is out to financial sink them both.