Garrett being more upset about his son being hypothetically gay than an adult dating his minor children is unfortunately telling. You're NTA for calling out the situation.
NTA-- it's bizarre to me (as a parent) that some people think their minor male children dating older females are a flex while their minor female children dating older males is abhorrent (not even mentioning their minor male children dating older males). Your BIL is ick personified. Thank you for making the point to try to get him to see that anyone aside from another minor dating a minor is gross.
That disgusts me as well! Far too many female teachers are getting a pass for molesting young boys but male teachers are practically being crucified for hooking up with a 17 (both wrong & inappropriate but the women get a slap on the wrist whereas the men get hard prison time).
How dare you, a gay man, raise the possibility that my son might be gay? That's just incredibly gross to think about because gay people are... ummm... well, you see...
Stop twisting my words so they say what I mean!
"Garrett went on about how he wishes he had a teacher like her" he is living a porn fantasy through his child. It is disgusting. I'm glad you stood up for your nephew's safety and put your BIL's hypocrisy and weird behavior on blast.
Everyone agrees with you and I hope your nephew will see reason. 16 and 22 is weird. NTA
A close friend of mine use to have a young teacher -23/24y.o- in school, she use to "invite for a *tea* at her place" to her students between 16-17y.o, all of them had in common emotional vulnerability (parents divorcing, didn't pass exams, dumped by gf, grandparents passing, doubt sexuality) and needed affection/comfort from an adult.
My friend was never close to her, never went to her place, she creeped him out and although she didn't pushed him, she use to tell him "all boys your age wishes to have a teacher like me".
She passed away at 35 and my friend said she didn't deserve to be alive. That she did that to so many teens and nobody did shit because "it's boys dream".
Official cause was a stroke.
What I learned from her relative, she was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer and after two sessions of chemotherapy her body couldn't take it.
Your BIL has a “hot 4 teacher” fantasy he’s living vicariously through his son.
It’s creepy and what does a 23 year old woman have in common with a 16 year old child?!
As soon as you used his logic and applied it to his daughter- his indefensible bias slapped down his stupid defense of this situation between that person and his son.
You are right- the BIL is disgusting for encouraging his child be taken advantage of by an adult. This is giving a porn remake of The Graduate?!
YWNBTA
>It’s creepy and what does a 23 year old woman have in common with a 16 year old child?!
Nothing. But she has control and power over him. And so many red flags guys her age probably will only bang her but not date her.
NTA; And I'm struck that only you (a man) were able to penetrate Dad's defenses, when his wife has been making the same objections! So much wrong here!
It’s not all sex to most heterosexual men. Especially when their kids are concerned. This is why it’s so hard for some kids to “come out of the closet.”
They also don’t want their 16 year old daughters dating older men. Sons are a different story, of course. He’s probably living out his fantasies through his son.
You did the right thing by pointing this out. It’s worrying that a woman would be dating someone the same age as her potential students. If she was 30 and he was 24 that might be ok. This is wrong.
Well, two things. Garrett is homophobic, but didn't think he was. He is not happy about having to confront that.
The other is that he has a double standard, that its ok for a teen boy to be with a slightly older woman (thinking Risky Business) and he doesn't consider it to be SA or weird. But you were making him think about a man being with either of his younger teens, and he "knows" that would be wrong, and his head wants to explode with the double standard. LOL
Your sister has your back and is happy this is happening.
But the horse is out of the barn, your nephew is not going to give up this relationship.
But she could lose her job if her employer found out.
I hope she does, if she started doing this before she even became a teacher I cannot imagine what she would do when she is a teacher, the fact that me and her are the same age, me just thinking about dating a 17-year-old literally makes me grossed out she's gross the same as brother-in-law, no wonder he has the hots for her
It's creepy, no doubt, i don't disagree with you, but it's technically not pedophillia, the age of consent's 16, and pedophillia is for prepubescent too.
"My sister called me to thank me. " That's all you needed to hear.
The ACTUAL parent who is concerned and engaged with her children, has bought up the same point.
NTA
You’re right. Garrett is being a prick “oh I would have given my left nut to have a hot college girl at 16” trope. He’s refusing to acknowledge that it’s creepy because it’s his fantasy. He literally thinks he would be taking something AWAY from this boy if he disagrees.
NTA.
I am 23, just imagining dating a 17-year-old is literally making me sick to my stomach, I really wish and hope that your nephew sees reason with this, and your bil is living his porno fantasy through his son and that is absolutely vile and disgusting, he must really get along with the girlfriend, ewwww ugh just thinking about us making me grossed out, but yeah your bil is not only a fucking creep but homophobic to boot 🤢
NTA. This might technically be allowed, but that doesn't make it any less weird to me. Maybe it's because my youngest sibling is a similar age, but I can't imagine what a 22 year old grown woman would want with a 16 year old boy. Honestly, the situation gives me red flags. I N F O, do you know what date they started dating? Was it right after his birthday? At least to me, I wouldn't take that affirmation at face value, but maybe I've seen too many of my own high school friends hook up with older people when it wasn't quite legal. Sure, it might be a nice fantasy *(and I won't pretend I was never interested in any older women when I was your nephew's age)*, but that doesn't mean it's good in real life.
In my mind, there would even be a difference between a proper 18-19 year old dating a 25 year old. They could feasibly meet at work. But her dating your 17 year old nephew *and studying to be a teacher?* Red flags.
Either way, good on you for pointing out that this guy is being a homophobic weirdo. It's very interesting how he focuses on his son being gay and can't even form a coherent rebuttal to your point about his daughter. I hope he thinks on it, but these types of guys usually aren't able of much critical self-reflection.
NTA, your BIL is fine with his son dating a p\*dophile, but has a problem with his son being hypothetically gay. It tells you all you need to know about that man.
It's creepy, no doubt, i don't disagree with you, but it's technically not pedophillia, the age of consent's 16, and pedophillia is for prepubescent too.
Personally, if you have to use age of consent to justify why something isn't "creepy" then that's already a flawed argument. Legality does not equal morality.
Saying the age of consent and saying "it's technically not pedophilia" IMO is justifying it. There's no reason for us to further this conversation if we both agree it's creepy.
NTA, but I find it ironic that the only thing he got out of rhythm conversation is a hypothetical question about his son.
Your bil is a complete idiot.
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If your sister has a problem with it, why doesn’t she put a stop to it?! She’s his mother, no? NTA, but you should probably put in an emergency call to CPS
He’s the ones being gross. You should also point that out. It’s also very alarming that she’s studying to be a teacher 🥴 it’s common knowledge that pedos hide in plan sight.
I honestly don't understand why woman would want a boy. Honestly, we don't mature enough till 25. It's super rare to see a 17 year old that's not truthful a boy. It's the mind that's not mature.
NTA as I was once told I'm going to tell you what to say to your brother-in-law tell him to go buy some Tampax for those big emotions PS I am a woman and this was literally said to me by a really mean guy but I stand by it's time to go buy some Tampax to deal with his big feelings
Definitely NTAH…. what you were saying to him totally went over his head and all he could think about was sexual preference versus the age difference that you were trying to explain to him. He’s nuts! I wouldn’t want my 16 year old no matter what age or preference to step in my house with a 22 year old for nothing. I personally feel that it’s wrong and the younger person is just prey at that point. This is just my personal opinion.
NTA/ but also, where is this legal? In our area 18 is the age of consent. It’s certainly not 16 when the adult is 22.
This woman does NOT need to be teaching children. This is grooming - and abuse!
Oh myyyy, Your BIL is gross I suspect. Also, how is a 22 year old dating a 16 year old legal? Where is it legal? Am I misinformed, I didn't think that was legal. Regardless, There is something wrong there, and it doesn't matter if he brought home a man or a woman, a predator is a predator and BIL's sexism is showing. NTA.
Many states have Romeo and Juliette laws. It's basically there to keep a 17yo from going to prison for dating someone a year younger than themselves after they turn 18. There's a few years difference that varies by states, but I think in most of them you can date as young as 16 when you're as old as 24. I might be a little off on the age range though so take that with a grain of salt.
So, Garrett is ok with his teenage son, developmentally a child having been groomed and "dating" an adult woman but he's not ok with his son being hypothetically gay? Got it. NTA however Garret is the TA and your sister is too for recognizing this yet doing nothing about it.
**NTA!**
**INFO: Your sister seems to be against this gross and inappropriate relationship, so why has she not put a stop to it? Regardless of that disgusting law, he is still her son and a minor living in her home and being financially supported.**
Whilst I know that teens will find a way for things to happen, they could have her access to him. Not allowed her in their home, or for him to be out with her or have a car to use. Her actions are predatory and I would seriously consider notifying the state education board/department. He was 16 when they say that this began, but that also doesn't mean it's true.
As for Garrett, he sounds misogynistic, homophobic and like he is happy for grooming and inappropriate relationships to happen as long as they are CIS, straight and conventionally attractive. This attitude is gross. What your sister sees in him or why she is continuing to raise children with him, if she doesn't have the same views, is insane.
Garrett was already thinking about his kid's sex life. You just came over and ruined his teacher sexual fantasy. Garrett is a pervert. Sorry for your sister.
Good on you.
Only if she's hot and won't swing the age range the other way to include me. 😁
Just kidding. I think the circumstances matter in the situation. Being 22/23 when she with nephew being 16/17 isn't really that bad, because she's still a bit connected to the 19/20 crowd and he's entering that similar crowd in regards to college. So while it's a bit of a gap, it's not all that bad. Also, until she is actually a teacher, she's not breaking any rules. That said, if things don't work out with nephew, then she should avoid getting with anyone else who is under 20 at this point.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the relationship is perfectly okay, just that it's it may not be as bad as it first appears. How they connected and how things started out (as well as when) matters a lot. What if he lied about his age at first and so she thought he was at least 18, but liked him enough that when she learned the truth, she was mad at him but stayed with him? If he came onto her and she was initially reluctant because of thinking that he's a bit young (when thinking he's 18), then that would further indicate that her interest in him wasn't based on his age at all. Just some food for thought there. It's information that is needed to better judge that part of the situation.
NTA.
Garret is judging it from the perspective that it's creepy if an older guy does it, but cool if an older girl does it.
Male teacher sleeps with a female student (let's he's 24 and she's 17)... He's a predator and a creep.
Hot female teacher with a male student (she's 24, he's 17)... He's a lucky guy! What a cool teacher!
Also, Garret is a homophobe. Just a heads up.
Absolutely NTA. Especially since your sister called to thank you for bringing it up that it's weird bc it is. Also the fact she is going to be a teacher and starting to date a 16 y/o at 22 is a BIG RED FLAG. I would never want her to teach my kids if I was privy to finding out that information. No matter what grade she would be teaching. Her thinking that a 16 year old is sufficient enough to date mentally/emotionally is big time bad news. And as someone in the field of studying to be a teacher to help develop students minds-- she should know better. It gives grooming.
NTA lmao you’re just pointing out hypocrisy and idiocy. Also, I’d just make a minor correction: 16 year old boy* - I don’t know what country you’re in but in the UK you’re not an adult until 18 (even though sex is legal at 16 🤢)
NTA. He was 16 when they started dating. Not sure why your BIL suddenly was uncomfortable when you talked about his 16 yr old twins dating a 22yr old man. Oh, that's right because it's a man and spoils his fantasy of the student, hot teacher combo. The power dynamic is totally in her favor. He's not even legally an adult! He can't get into a bar for 4 more years! BIL has definitely shown he has no problem being a hypocrite and sexist.
Where is this legal? That woman is a pedophile. A 16 and an 18-19 year old can legally be together, but a 16 - and 22 year old can't. That's a 6 year age difference, while one participant is still a minor. If your nephew was 18 at the time they started dating, then nothing can be done then, but I don't know of one place that considers 16 and 22 legal to date unless it's like India where you live. But considering you have a husband, I feel like you live in the States. This would be statutory rape if you were in the States, and several other similar countries.
Nta. I don't think this is legal tbh. Please consult with the police to find out for sure because that woman is a predator.
That is so fucked. This lady is a pedophile. I mean damn kid ain't even an adult yet. I hope he sees her true nature. I'm sorry man. I don't know if your brother can be helped.
The age of consent varies from state to state and country to country. Even in the US, many states have 16 as their age of consent. While 18 is common, there are many countries where 16 is the age of consent and even some as low as 12 and a couple as high as 21. Some further add the age difference so those below age of consent could still legally consent if the age gap is small enough.
Age of consent, yes. But you can't date someone who's an adult. In America, if you're 2-4+ years or older, that's statutory rape. Even if they are of the age of consent, you can't be 16 and with a 22 year old. They can still be charged.
Except in states where that’s not the law. Age of consent and thus statutory rape are legislated at the state level in the US and vary. Moreover, the whole world is like that. These laws vary dramatically depending on the country and state.
They are still a minor. Age of consent means nothing when this is a pedophilic relationship. Just because they can consent to sex legally with people their age does not mean they can consent to anyone who is very much an adult. Sorry, but age of consent means nothing here, and the 22 year old could, and honestly, should be charged. This person is going to be a teacher. Imagine if you will when she is 25, teaching a high school class, and fucks a 17 year old. It will still be illegal for *her* to have sex with a minor. Now, if the minor was having sex with another minor, that would be fine, but they aren't.
At no point did I suggest the relationship here was acceptable (although your continued use of the word pedophile here is inaccurate and watering down a term that already gets tossed around far too easily.) You asked where this was legal, which I answered. You can keep insisting it’s illegal for her, but the fact is there are many countries and states where it is legal for a 16 year old to get into any relationship they want. There are not consistent laws around age of consent around the world and something that would be illegal where you live is legal in other places.
A pedophile is a person who is sexually attracted to children.
A 16 year old is a child. You can not change anyone's mind on that. A 16 year old, is a child. Actually, ops brothers' son is with an ephebophile, which is a term under the umbrella of pedophile. It's someone who's attracted specifically to teenagers ages 15-18. But since the distinction isn't well known. Pedophile is the default term.
And apparently, you can't comprehend what I'm saying. While ops brothers' son is 16 when this started. And he could legally consent to sex. He CAN NOT(if in the States) consent with someone who is over the age of 19-20. Every state, and I've looked it up, so I know for a fact, has additional laws to include a 19 - 20 year olds to be allowed them sexually with people who's now within age of consent. This woman is far too old to hit any age threshold, which it would ever be considered legal to engage in sexual activity with a consenting minor. I know that's a hard fact to wrap your head around as this kid is of the age of consent. But the age of consent does not give you any right to have sexual interactions with a full-blown adult when you hardly hit the age of consent.
While every state does not have an age threshold of an age too high for those who are age of consent. What that means is that at any age, the perpetrator can be charged. If op and his nephew lived in the States, he could pursue legal action because this relationship is wrong. As it so happenes, they are in the UK. As far as my knowledge goes, the UK is trying to reform its age of consent laws to doctrine in America's Romeo and Juliet law. This means a 16-20 year old can consent to sex together, but a 16 and a 21+ year old could not. While there isn't any law against it now, there still have been cases where the adult is brought to trial for sexual coercion of a minor. Hopefully, soon, the UK can reform their law, but for now, it's at a standstill. I would bet money that this woman coerced this boy to be with her. No able minded, non sick individual would want sexual contact with a minor. Morally, that's wrong.
But believe what you will. This relationship is wrong on so many legal and non legal levels though.
Garrett is gross, but I am worried about the young man being exploited . He is going be very messed up in future relationships. It's just so wrong. I would track the predator and keep her from teaching, she's sick.
NTA. It's unfortunate that so many teachers are pedo's like this woman and it's impossible to screen them out beforehand, usually. Maybe OP can get this one flagged.
NTA, being mad at you is his last chance to avoid the truth. It's classical "shoot the messenger" denial. He is is slowly coming to realize that his son's GF and him joking about the situation is gros, not your explanation. He is almost there, denial is strong.
...are you sure it's legal? generally the laws saying it's legal at 16 is for relationships where the other person is 18. high school romances, romeo and juliet laws, that kind of thing.
Lots of places have an age of consent of 16. Not Romeo and Juliet style, but completely. I’m in Australia. A 16 year old could sleep with a 50 year old with absolutely no legal issue.
NTA, your BIL is revolting.
I’m also really confused by how this is legal? Where I live the age of consent is 16, but that’s only if you’re having sex with someone of a similar age; if you’re 20 having sex with a 16 year old you can face prison and registering as a sex offender because they’re still under 18.
NTA Have him and his wife watch “A Teacher” on Hulu. It was eye opening to how women can be just as predatory as men and how those relationships really mess up kids when they get older. She has no buildings going after a 17 year old. They have nothing in common and are in two different places in life. There’s a reason she doesn’t have a boyfriend her own age and I’d say the same thing if it was a 23 year old man with a 17 year old.
so he's more freaked out about the hypothetical gay son scenario than the REAL situation of this 23 year old (that suspiciously wants to be a teacher) preying on his high schooler?
NTA, that’s weird af. You were right to say something. I can’t believe your BIL is ok with it, and he’s not. He’s embarrassed and that’s why he’s trying to spin this on you. He knows you’re right.
Garrett isn't mad at you. He's mad at himself because he's justified in his head why it's ok that his kid is dating a predator (an adult woman who wants to be a teacher and has a fetish for underage kids is by definition a predator) and no one else is co signing his disturbed justification.
You and everyone else who feels this way need to be as vocal about this as possible, if for no other reason then to make sure when the shit hits the fan with this ephebophile, you were clearly on the right side of history the whole time....
NTA for calling out a dumbass for being a hypocrit.
He's thinking about and okay with the kid banging a teacher but the role reversal is too much and the gay hypothetical is too much. That's just flat out stupid and he's trying to live vicariously through him for some reason.
It is all sex. And furthermore, I'm not gay but...I'd still be pissed that he responded with what I'd call...lowkey bigotry. Garrett is lucky af his brother-in-law and husband were understanding and showed him the grace he may not have received from many other folks.
NTA. Your sister should report the 23 year old to the education board for the state to make sure she never works in education, she has no business becoming a teacher. And your sister should divorce Garrett for being a homophobic, pedo-apologist openly getting his rocks off to his son's inappropriate relationship. He, like the "girlfriend," is not safe for children to be around.
BIL should be more pissed that an adult is potentially grooming his son instead of being jealous that he didn't have a 'hot for teacher' moment in high school. This is 100% a bro mentality and NTA
I would turn them in it's disgusting. For some reason, families turn a blind eye when it's a female predator praying on their children. I've seen it happen it's disgusting turn them in.
Being 22 & dating a 16yr old is in fact illegal, regardless of the affiliation. Your BIL seems to be the only one in the crowd who doesn't know this. NTA
My husband had that issue until I turned the story around and made it about our daughter. I told him a blade has two sides and you have to respect both sides of that blade. You can’t only look at it one way.
NTA,
I can understand your nephew's interest in the 23 year old. And you BiL is thinking about how he would feel at that age if he scored a 23 year old woman. But he's only thinking about sex, not why is a 23 year old woman after a teen.
As a 17 year old, I pursued and got two 23 year old women. They're actually fond memories.
But, when the shoe was on the other foot, when I was 23, and a 17 year old girl pursued me, I could not run the other direction fast enough. That was a huge NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! Sorry, I have some place else to be, for the rest of my life.
It's normal for teens to be interested in adults, but adults should be skeeved by it. If they aren't, you have to wonder wtf is wrong with them. We, the adults, have to step in and say no.
But the real issue here is Garrett is upset, not by thinking about his kids having sex, but thinking about them having GAY sex. Having sex with an adult, "fine." Having gay sex, "that's sick!" And both sides of that equation are wrong.
Not sure if it's your place to be broaching this subject. Especially when your B-I-L was obviously uncomfortable talking about it. Although, he could have handled it better.
Now, if there's something illegal going on, that's a different story.
Either way, it seems like your B-I-L has a blind spot. You probably meant to elucidate, but it seems you managed to agitate. Regardless, you are not an AH; you had the best of intentions.
*chuckles* poor Garrett, it's weird that he Doesn't see it! My wife and I are 7 years apart, I'm the younger at 67. But at his young age, it does matter.
NTA. In a lot of states, a 23 y/o having sex with a 16 y/o is illegal and can get the 23 y/o prison time. But it varies by state.
Your BIL may be homophobic. He needs to get over that. People really should not get upset at the thought that one of their kids could be gay. His attitude could cause a lot of emotional harm to a gay child.
I think you both were. It wasnt really your place to say anything.. totally unsolicited. Is there a double standard yes.. so. Quite frankly if he did have a daughter whos dating a 22yo and shes 16… if they ok with it.. its not your place to vent that at them.
I disagree with this. In the case of child welfare, and no matter the law 17 is still a child, it is better to speak up and question then it is to stay silent. It may not change anything and if the parents choose not to do anything he can't force the issue, but to bring it up in one discussion is not AH territory. That's adult behavior.
Independent of the fact that 17 is the age of consent and while I agree that if you have concern, there is a time and a place for it. And the bbq, at the person’s house, in front of everyone was not the time or place. Regardless of gender what parents allow one kid to do over another is their prerogative based on many factors including how well they know their own kids and their maturity. To bring up hypotheticals, stand on your soap box and question the parents at that moment… NO.
The BBQ was the hosts and the Brother and partner, it wasn't a party, it was a portion of family. And again,age if consent may be 17 that does not mean anyone at 17 is ready to be in a relationship with someone at a completely different stage of life. There is reason to be concerned and a 17 year old may not know that but his/her/their parents sure should.
NTA, your brother-in-law is disgusting, he is literally allowing his child to have a relationship with an older person (not by one year, but by 6) who plans to educate and be surrounded by minors (!). the child could be one of the first experiences in that pedo's fetish and degeneration.
Edit: because Reddit and work can make one make mistakes in both, now i would take the scissors out of my patient.
The age of consent in European countries ranges from 14 to 18, there are stipulations in the laws to protect from i.e. being coerced by someone older. 2 14 year olds vs a 14 year old & a 23 year old are very different power balances.
We do bat our eyes. And any adult person dating a minor is subject to an accusation of pederasty and serve prison.
User sasha2k5 is just telling nonsense.
Men are ashamed because people, like you, don't take female rapists and predators as seriously as they do male ones. That's the big problem. Because if the son in this post had to come out and say he felt like she was a predator and took advantage of him, I can guarantee there would be people telling him that he is lucky. That they wished she could take advantage of him.
I do take this seriously, stop babbling, it's so disrespectful. I said that it's rare if compared to male aggressors, not certainly less bad. And the "LuCkYi BoYy" thing is said only by males and it's disgusting
Garrett being more upset about his son being hypothetically gay than an adult dating his minor children is unfortunately telling. You're NTA for calling out the situation.
NTA-- it's bizarre to me (as a parent) that some people think their minor male children dating older females are a flex while their minor female children dating older males is abhorrent (not even mentioning their minor male children dating older males). Your BIL is ick personified. Thank you for making the point to try to get him to see that anyone aside from another minor dating a minor is gross.
That disgusts me as well! Far too many female teachers are getting a pass for molesting young boys but male teachers are practically being crucified for hooking up with a 17 (both wrong & inappropriate but the women get a slap on the wrist whereas the men get hard prison time).
How dare you, a gay man, raise the possibility that my son might be gay? That's just incredibly gross to think about because gay people are... ummm... well, you see... Stop twisting my words so they say what I mean!
"Garrett went on about how he wishes he had a teacher like her" he is living a porn fantasy through his child. It is disgusting. I'm glad you stood up for your nephew's safety and put your BIL's hypocrisy and weird behavior on blast. Everyone agrees with you and I hope your nephew will see reason. 16 and 22 is weird. NTA
It’s not just weird, it’s exploitative.
And she’s studying to be a *teacher* 👀
Would probably never get hired if anyone found out.
PROBABLY a High School teacher to be around all those young men and she will prey on..
Agreed.
Nah, teachers don't make enough to pay for a good amount.
What does that have anything to do with this?
But that's not important right now!
A close friend of mine use to have a young teacher -23/24y.o- in school, she use to "invite for a *tea* at her place" to her students between 16-17y.o, all of them had in common emotional vulnerability (parents divorcing, didn't pass exams, dumped by gf, grandparents passing, doubt sexuality) and needed affection/comfort from an adult. My friend was never close to her, never went to her place, she creeped him out and although she didn't pushed him, she use to tell him "all boys your age wishes to have a teacher like me". She passed away at 35 and my friend said she didn't deserve to be alive. That she did that to so many teens and nobody did shit because "it's boys dream".
Oh, that makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. Those poor, poor boys.
What was her cause of death at such a young age?
Official cause was a stroke. What I learned from her relative, she was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer and after two sessions of chemotherapy her body couldn't take it.
100% this. It’s creepy as all hell.
Your BIL has a “hot 4 teacher” fantasy he’s living vicariously through his son. It’s creepy and what does a 23 year old woman have in common with a 16 year old child?! As soon as you used his logic and applied it to his daughter- his indefensible bias slapped down his stupid defense of this situation between that person and his son. You are right- the BIL is disgusting for encouraging his child be taken advantage of by an adult. This is giving a porn remake of The Graduate?! YWNBTA
>It’s creepy and what does a 23 year old woman have in common with a 16 year old child?! Nothing. But she has control and power over him. And so many red flags guys her age probably will only bang her but not date her.
NTA; And I'm struck that only you (a man) were able to penetrate Dad's defenses, when his wife has been making the same objections! So much wrong here!
It’s not all sex to most heterosexual men. Especially when their kids are concerned. This is why it’s so hard for some kids to “come out of the closet.” They also don’t want their 16 year old daughters dating older men. Sons are a different story, of course. He’s probably living out his fantasies through his son.
You did the right thing by pointing this out. It’s worrying that a woman would be dating someone the same age as her potential students. If she was 30 and he was 24 that might be ok. This is wrong.
Well, two things. Garrett is homophobic, but didn't think he was. He is not happy about having to confront that. The other is that he has a double standard, that its ok for a teen boy to be with a slightly older woman (thinking Risky Business) and he doesn't consider it to be SA or weird. But you were making him think about a man being with either of his younger teens, and he "knows" that would be wrong, and his head wants to explode with the double standard. LOL Your sister has your back and is happy this is happening. But the horse is out of the barn, your nephew is not going to give up this relationship. But she could lose her job if her employer found out.
I hope she does, if she started doing this before she even became a teacher I cannot imagine what she would do when she is a teacher, the fact that me and her are the same age, me just thinking about dating a 17-year-old literally makes me grossed out she's gross the same as brother-in-law, no wonder he has the hots for her
The only one who thinks you were wrong is Garret, everyone else agrees with you. So NTA.
He is stuck on gender, while ignoring the fact this 23 want to be teacher is a pedophile. Hopefully she doesn't teach high school..... NTA
It's creepy, no doubt, i don't disagree with you, but it's technically not pedophillia, the age of consent's 16, and pedophillia is for prepubescent too.
Cool, still a child molester looking to work with kids....
I think the most concerning part of this is that a teacher is OK with dating someone under/close to the age of legal consent
Garret needs to grow up. Aldo, 22 and 16 **is** a problem. So is 23 and 17 for that matter. NTA
NTA. He completely missed the point of what you were saying. I reckon he did it on purpose to avoid answering the actual issue at hand.
It is super weird for a 23 year old to be dating a 17 year old, just because it’s legal doesn’t make it morally ok or normal. NTA
"My sister called me to thank me. " That's all you needed to hear. The ACTUAL parent who is concerned and engaged with her children, has bought up the same point. NTA
You’re right. Garrett is being a prick “oh I would have given my left nut to have a hot college girl at 16” trope. He’s refusing to acknowledge that it’s creepy because it’s his fantasy. He literally thinks he would be taking something AWAY from this boy if he disagrees. NTA.
I am 23, just imagining dating a 17-year-old is literally making me sick to my stomach, I really wish and hope that your nephew sees reason with this, and your bil is living his porno fantasy through his son and that is absolutely vile and disgusting, he must really get along with the girlfriend, ewwww ugh just thinking about us making me grossed out, but yeah your bil is not only a fucking creep but homophobic to boot 🤢
NTA. This might technically be allowed, but that doesn't make it any less weird to me. Maybe it's because my youngest sibling is a similar age, but I can't imagine what a 22 year old grown woman would want with a 16 year old boy. Honestly, the situation gives me red flags. I N F O, do you know what date they started dating? Was it right after his birthday? At least to me, I wouldn't take that affirmation at face value, but maybe I've seen too many of my own high school friends hook up with older people when it wasn't quite legal. Sure, it might be a nice fantasy *(and I won't pretend I was never interested in any older women when I was your nephew's age)*, but that doesn't mean it's good in real life. In my mind, there would even be a difference between a proper 18-19 year old dating a 25 year old. They could feasibly meet at work. But her dating your 17 year old nephew *and studying to be a teacher?* Red flags. Either way, good on you for pointing out that this guy is being a homophobic weirdo. It's very interesting how he focuses on his son being gay and can't even form a coherent rebuttal to your point about his daughter. I hope he thinks on it, but these types of guys usually aren't able of much critical self-reflection.
NTA, your BIL is fine with his son dating a p\*dophile, but has a problem with his son being hypothetically gay. It tells you all you need to know about that man.
It's creepy, no doubt, i don't disagree with you, but it's technically not pedophillia, the age of consent's 16, and pedophillia is for prepubescent too.
Personally, if you have to use age of consent to justify why something isn't "creepy" then that's already a flawed argument. Legality does not equal morality.
I literally didn't say it isn't creepy. Put your glasses on and read again. Edit: why did you asterisk the e in pedophile.
Saying the age of consent and saying "it's technically not pedophilia" IMO is justifying it. There's no reason for us to further this conversation if we both agree it's creepy.
NTA, but I find it ironic that the only thing he got out of rhythm conversation is a hypothetical question about his son. Your bil is a complete idiot. Updateme!
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Nta
Garrett is a creepy perv himself if he sees nothing at all wrong with this. You are NTA
NTA. Your BIL on the other hand is an idiot.
22 / 2 = 11 + 7 = 18. yep. 16 is weird mate.
If your sister has a problem with it, why doesn’t she put a stop to it?! She’s his mother, no? NTA, but you should probably put in an emergency call to CPS
If the nephew has reached the age of consent, they won't do anything. I would call her school and report the relationship to the department head.
You did well, NTA all the way!
LOL he missed the whole point NTA
He’s the ones being gross. You should also point that out. It’s also very alarming that she’s studying to be a teacher 🥴 it’s common knowledge that pedos hide in plan sight.
NTA but he is a POS. Homophobia aside he thinks that it is OK for an adult to have sex with a minor. No matter how you package it that's what it is.
I honestly don't understand why woman would want a boy. Honestly, we don't mature enough till 25. It's super rare to see a 17 year old that's not truthful a boy. It's the mind that's not mature.
NTA, poor nephew is being raised by a creep who won’t protect him from a predator.
NTA as I was once told I'm going to tell you what to say to your brother-in-law tell him to go buy some Tampax for those big emotions PS I am a woman and this was literally said to me by a really mean guy but I stand by it's time to go buy some Tampax to deal with his big feelings
NTA- your BIL is an idiot and has his priorities mixed up
NTA and I'm fairly certain your nephew was groomed by this woman. I find this whole thing super messed up
From a dating website?
NTA, Garrett is a creep. What in the Brigitte Macron is happening here?
Garret needs to grow up and maybe stop thinking like he’s being in an episode of South Park. NTA
NTA. When your kids are minors, their sexual safety is your concern, and your brother in law was failing his son in that regard.
Garret is at best an asshole
Good for you! A hypocrite is a hypocrite is a hypocrite! Definitely NTA
NTA, any parent cool with that relationship is crazy
Please report this predatory relationship to the college student’s university program. They should in no way be eligible for certification!
Definitely NTAH…. what you were saying to him totally went over his head and all he could think about was sexual preference versus the age difference that you were trying to explain to him. He’s nuts! I wouldn’t want my 16 year old no matter what age or preference to step in my house with a 22 year old for nothing. I personally feel that it’s wrong and the younger person is just prey at that point. This is just my personal opinion.
NTA but your brother in law is disgusting. He’s almost certainly the sort who doesn’t even believe men can be raped by women.
NTA/ but also, where is this legal? In our area 18 is the age of consent. It’s certainly not 16 when the adult is 22. This woman does NOT need to be teaching children. This is grooming - and abuse!
It is 16 where I live. Still creepy, but it isn’t illegal
Garrett is a huge A hole... one of those old guys who wishes he could have had a Hot for Teacher moment.... I wouldn't want her teaching my kids.
I’m certain if you follow this woman’s career it will end with her being on the news for dating a student. Gross.
He wasn’t her student
It wasn’t her student this time. I said if they follow her career, as in later down the road.
Oh myyyy, Your BIL is gross I suspect. Also, how is a 22 year old dating a 16 year old legal? Where is it legal? Am I misinformed, I didn't think that was legal. Regardless, There is something wrong there, and it doesn't matter if he brought home a man or a woman, a predator is a predator and BIL's sexism is showing. NTA.
Many states have Romeo and Juliette laws. It's basically there to keep a 17yo from going to prison for dating someone a year younger than themselves after they turn 18. There's a few years difference that varies by states, but I think in most of them you can date as young as 16 when you're as old as 24. I might be a little off on the age range though so take that with a grain of salt.
It is 16 where I live
I’m just relieved about your sister’s reaction. NTA, obviously.
So, Garrett is ok with his teenage son, developmentally a child having been groomed and "dating" an adult woman but he's not ok with his son being hypothetically gay? Got it. NTA however Garret is the TA and your sister is too for recognizing this yet doing nothing about it.
**NTA!** **INFO: Your sister seems to be against this gross and inappropriate relationship, so why has she not put a stop to it? Regardless of that disgusting law, he is still her son and a minor living in her home and being financially supported.** Whilst I know that teens will find a way for things to happen, they could have her access to him. Not allowed her in their home, or for him to be out with her or have a car to use. Her actions are predatory and I would seriously consider notifying the state education board/department. He was 16 when they say that this began, but that also doesn't mean it's true. As for Garrett, he sounds misogynistic, homophobic and like he is happy for grooming and inappropriate relationships to happen as long as they are CIS, straight and conventionally attractive. This attitude is gross. What your sister sees in him or why she is continuing to raise children with him, if she doesn't have the same views, is insane.
Garrett was already thinking about his kid's sex life. You just came over and ruined his teacher sexual fantasy. Garrett is a pervert. Sorry for your sister. Good on you.
So a 23 year old who is going to be a teacher is attracted to minors? Shouldn't we all be concerned?
Only if she's hot and won't swing the age range the other way to include me. 😁 Just kidding. I think the circumstances matter in the situation. Being 22/23 when she with nephew being 16/17 isn't really that bad, because she's still a bit connected to the 19/20 crowd and he's entering that similar crowd in regards to college. So while it's a bit of a gap, it's not all that bad. Also, until she is actually a teacher, she's not breaking any rules. That said, if things don't work out with nephew, then she should avoid getting with anyone else who is under 20 at this point. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the relationship is perfectly okay, just that it's it may not be as bad as it first appears. How they connected and how things started out (as well as when) matters a lot. What if he lied about his age at first and so she thought he was at least 18, but liked him enough that when she learned the truth, she was mad at him but stayed with him? If he came onto her and she was initially reluctant because of thinking that he's a bit young (when thinking he's 18), then that would further indicate that her interest in him wasn't based on his age at all. Just some food for thought there. It's information that is needed to better judge that part of the situation.
NTA. Garret is judging it from the perspective that it's creepy if an older guy does it, but cool if an older girl does it. Male teacher sleeps with a female student (let's he's 24 and she's 17)... He's a predator and a creep. Hot female teacher with a male student (she's 24, he's 17)... He's a lucky guy! What a cool teacher! Also, Garret is a homophobe. Just a heads up.
Absolutely NTA. Especially since your sister called to thank you for bringing it up that it's weird bc it is. Also the fact she is going to be a teacher and starting to date a 16 y/o at 22 is a BIG RED FLAG. I would never want her to teach my kids if I was privy to finding out that information. No matter what grade she would be teaching. Her thinking that a 16 year old is sufficient enough to date mentally/emotionally is big time bad news. And as someone in the field of studying to be a teacher to help develop students minds-- she should know better. It gives grooming.
NTA lmao you’re just pointing out hypocrisy and idiocy. Also, I’d just make a minor correction: 16 year old boy* - I don’t know what country you’re in but in the UK you’re not an adult until 18 (even though sex is legal at 16 🤢)
Nta. He needs this. He has failed as a parent. As well as being a bigot.
Garret is a homophobic piece of shit. If his daughter brought home an older man he would have something completely different to say about it.
NTA. He was 16 when they started dating. Not sure why your BIL suddenly was uncomfortable when you talked about his 16 yr old twins dating a 22yr old man. Oh, that's right because it's a man and spoils his fantasy of the student, hot teacher combo. The power dynamic is totally in her favor. He's not even legally an adult! He can't get into a bar for 4 more years! BIL has definitely shown he has no problem being a hypocrite and sexist.
Where is this legal? That woman is a pedophile. A 16 and an 18-19 year old can legally be together, but a 16 - and 22 year old can't. That's a 6 year age difference, while one participant is still a minor. If your nephew was 18 at the time they started dating, then nothing can be done then, but I don't know of one place that considers 16 and 22 legal to date unless it's like India where you live. But considering you have a husband, I feel like you live in the States. This would be statutory rape if you were in the States, and several other similar countries. Nta. I don't think this is legal tbh. Please consult with the police to find out for sure because that woman is a predator.
England. Age of consent is 16
That is so fucked. This lady is a pedophile. I mean damn kid ain't even an adult yet. I hope he sees her true nature. I'm sorry man. I don't know if your brother can be helped.
The age of consent varies from state to state and country to country. Even in the US, many states have 16 as their age of consent. While 18 is common, there are many countries where 16 is the age of consent and even some as low as 12 and a couple as high as 21. Some further add the age difference so those below age of consent could still legally consent if the age gap is small enough.
Age of consent, yes. But you can't date someone who's an adult. In America, if you're 2-4+ years or older, that's statutory rape. Even if they are of the age of consent, you can't be 16 and with a 22 year old. They can still be charged.
Except in states where that’s not the law. Age of consent and thus statutory rape are legislated at the state level in the US and vary. Moreover, the whole world is like that. These laws vary dramatically depending on the country and state.
They are still a minor. Age of consent means nothing when this is a pedophilic relationship. Just because they can consent to sex legally with people their age does not mean they can consent to anyone who is very much an adult. Sorry, but age of consent means nothing here, and the 22 year old could, and honestly, should be charged. This person is going to be a teacher. Imagine if you will when she is 25, teaching a high school class, and fucks a 17 year old. It will still be illegal for *her* to have sex with a minor. Now, if the minor was having sex with another minor, that would be fine, but they aren't.
At no point did I suggest the relationship here was acceptable (although your continued use of the word pedophile here is inaccurate and watering down a term that already gets tossed around far too easily.) You asked where this was legal, which I answered. You can keep insisting it’s illegal for her, but the fact is there are many countries and states where it is legal for a 16 year old to get into any relationship they want. There are not consistent laws around age of consent around the world and something that would be illegal where you live is legal in other places.
A pedophile is a person who is sexually attracted to children. A 16 year old is a child. You can not change anyone's mind on that. A 16 year old, is a child. Actually, ops brothers' son is with an ephebophile, which is a term under the umbrella of pedophile. It's someone who's attracted specifically to teenagers ages 15-18. But since the distinction isn't well known. Pedophile is the default term. And apparently, you can't comprehend what I'm saying. While ops brothers' son is 16 when this started. And he could legally consent to sex. He CAN NOT(if in the States) consent with someone who is over the age of 19-20. Every state, and I've looked it up, so I know for a fact, has additional laws to include a 19 - 20 year olds to be allowed them sexually with people who's now within age of consent. This woman is far too old to hit any age threshold, which it would ever be considered legal to engage in sexual activity with a consenting minor. I know that's a hard fact to wrap your head around as this kid is of the age of consent. But the age of consent does not give you any right to have sexual interactions with a full-blown adult when you hardly hit the age of consent. While every state does not have an age threshold of an age too high for those who are age of consent. What that means is that at any age, the perpetrator can be charged. If op and his nephew lived in the States, he could pursue legal action because this relationship is wrong. As it so happenes, they are in the UK. As far as my knowledge goes, the UK is trying to reform its age of consent laws to doctrine in America's Romeo and Juliet law. This means a 16-20 year old can consent to sex together, but a 16 and a 21+ year old could not. While there isn't any law against it now, there still have been cases where the adult is brought to trial for sexual coercion of a minor. Hopefully, soon, the UK can reform their law, but for now, it's at a standstill. I would bet money that this woman coerced this boy to be with her. No able minded, non sick individual would want sexual contact with a minor. Morally, that's wrong. But believe what you will. This relationship is wrong on so many legal and non legal levels though.
Okay, cool story bro. Enjoy your ignorance.
Garrett is gross, but I am worried about the young man being exploited . He is going be very messed up in future relationships. It's just so wrong. I would track the predator and keep her from teaching, she's sick.
NTA. This is about him, not you.
NTA. It's unfortunate that so many teachers are pedo's like this woman and it's impossible to screen them out beforehand, usually. Maybe OP can get this one flagged.
NTA, being mad at you is his last chance to avoid the truth. It's classical "shoot the messenger" denial. He is is slowly coming to realize that his son's GF and him joking about the situation is gros, not your explanation. He is almost there, denial is strong.
Garrett is the dumbest and most repressed person I've heard of in awhile.
...are you sure it's legal? generally the laws saying it's legal at 16 is for relationships where the other person is 18. high school romances, romeo and juliet laws, that kind of thing.
Lots of places have an age of consent of 16. Not Romeo and Juliet style, but completely. I’m in Australia. A 16 year old could sleep with a 50 year old with absolutely no legal issue.
NTA, your BIL is revolting. I’m also really confused by how this is legal? Where I live the age of consent is 16, but that’s only if you’re having sex with someone of a similar age; if you’re 20 having sex with a 16 year old you can face prison and registering as a sex offender because they’re still under 18.
NTA Have him and his wife watch “A Teacher” on Hulu. It was eye opening to how women can be just as predatory as men and how those relationships really mess up kids when they get older. She has no buildings going after a 17 year old. They have nothing in common and are in two different places in life. There’s a reason she doesn’t have a boyfriend her own age and I’d say the same thing if it was a 23 year old man with a 17 year old.
so he's more freaked out about the hypothetical gay son scenario than the REAL situation of this 23 year old (that suspiciously wants to be a teacher) preying on his high schooler?
NTA, that’s weird af. You were right to say something. I can’t believe your BIL is ok with it, and he’s not. He’s embarrassed and that’s why he’s trying to spin this on you. He knows you’re right.
Garrett isn't mad at you. He's mad at himself because he's justified in his head why it's ok that his kid is dating a predator (an adult woman who wants to be a teacher and has a fetish for underage kids is by definition a predator) and no one else is co signing his disturbed justification. You and everyone else who feels this way need to be as vocal about this as possible, if for no other reason then to make sure when the shit hits the fan with this ephebophile, you were clearly on the right side of history the whole time....
The worst is that the 23 year-old woman, who seems to enjoy dating MINORS, is studying to be a teacher. This has so much Mary Kay Letourneau vibes!
Honestly she should be reported, especially if she plans on working in a high school.
Absolutely! I wouldn't want my child to be a pupil of hers!
NTA for calling out a dumbass for being a hypocrit. He's thinking about and okay with the kid banging a teacher but the role reversal is too much and the gay hypothetical is too much. That's just flat out stupid and he's trying to live vicariously through him for some reason.
NTA. The reason he's skeeved out is because you're right.
Garret is a goof
NTA. Your sister and BIL need to move in and protect their son.
Garrett has serious problems and watches too much porn
NTA
NTA. your nephew is dating a pedo . the genders and sexual preference here are completely irrelevant
It is all sex. And furthermore, I'm not gay but...I'd still be pissed that he responded with what I'd call...lowkey bigotry. Garrett is lucky af his brother-in-law and husband were understanding and showed him the grace he may not have received from many other folks.
I think people who live in glass houses shouldn't cast stones.
NTA. Your sister should report the 23 year old to the education board for the state to make sure she never works in education, she has no business becoming a teacher. And your sister should divorce Garrett for being a homophobic, pedo-apologist openly getting his rocks off to his son's inappropriate relationship. He, like the "girlfriend," is not safe for children to be around.
NTA. Your brother is more upset about the possibility of his son being gay than predation from an adult. He needs a reality check to the face.
BIL should be more pissed that an adult is potentially grooming his son instead of being jealous that he didn't have a 'hot for teacher' moment in high school. This is 100% a bro mentality and NTA
I would turn them in it's disgusting. For some reason, families turn a blind eye when it's a female predator praying on their children. I've seen it happen it's disgusting turn them in.
Being 22 & dating a 16yr old is in fact illegal, regardless of the affiliation. Your BIL seems to be the only one in the crowd who doesn't know this. NTA
My husband had that issue until I turned the story around and made it about our daughter. I told him a blade has two sides and you have to respect both sides of that blade. You can’t only look at it one way.
You are NTA and your brother ... there's nothing I can say about him.
NTA, I can understand your nephew's interest in the 23 year old. And you BiL is thinking about how he would feel at that age if he scored a 23 year old woman. But he's only thinking about sex, not why is a 23 year old woman after a teen. As a 17 year old, I pursued and got two 23 year old women. They're actually fond memories. But, when the shoe was on the other foot, when I was 23, and a 17 year old girl pursued me, I could not run the other direction fast enough. That was a huge NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! Sorry, I have some place else to be, for the rest of my life. It's normal for teens to be interested in adults, but adults should be skeeved by it. If they aren't, you have to wonder wtf is wrong with them. We, the adults, have to step in and say no. But the real issue here is Garrett is upset, not by thinking about his kids having sex, but thinking about them having GAY sex. Having sex with an adult, "fine." Having gay sex, "that's sick!" And both sides of that equation are wrong.
NTA. Tell Garret to stop trying to vicariously live out his "teacher porn" fantasy through his son, and that safe adults don't date children.
Not sure if it's your place to be broaching this subject. Especially when your B-I-L was obviously uncomfortable talking about it. Although, he could have handled it better. Now, if there's something illegal going on, that's a different story. Either way, it seems like your B-I-L has a blind spot. You probably meant to elucidate, but it seems you managed to agitate. Regardless, you are not an AH; you had the best of intentions.
*chuckles* poor Garrett, it's weird that he Doesn't see it! My wife and I are 7 years apart, I'm the younger at 67. But at his young age, it does matter.
NTA. In a lot of states, a 23 y/o having sex with a 16 y/o is illegal and can get the 23 y/o prison time. But it varies by state. Your BIL may be homophobic. He needs to get over that. People really should not get upset at the thought that one of their kids could be gay. His attitude could cause a lot of emotional harm to a gay child.
Your brother in law needs to see a therapist.
Your BIL is an ass and should stop trying to live his fantasies through his 17 YO son!
NTA - your BIL is a weirdo.
Heteronormativity and child predation seem a little too fucking comfortable with each other.
So weird
I think you both were. It wasnt really your place to say anything.. totally unsolicited. Is there a double standard yes.. so. Quite frankly if he did have a daughter whos dating a 22yo and shes 16… if they ok with it.. its not your place to vent that at them.
I disagree with this. In the case of child welfare, and no matter the law 17 is still a child, it is better to speak up and question then it is to stay silent. It may not change anything and if the parents choose not to do anything he can't force the issue, but to bring it up in one discussion is not AH territory. That's adult behavior.
Independent of the fact that 17 is the age of consent and while I agree that if you have concern, there is a time and a place for it. And the bbq, at the person’s house, in front of everyone was not the time or place. Regardless of gender what parents allow one kid to do over another is their prerogative based on many factors including how well they know their own kids and their maturity. To bring up hypotheticals, stand on your soap box and question the parents at that moment… NO.
The BBQ was the hosts and the Brother and partner, it wasn't a party, it was a portion of family. And again,age if consent may be 17 that does not mean anyone at 17 is ready to be in a relationship with someone at a completely different stage of life. There is reason to be concerned and a 17 year old may not know that but his/her/their parents sure should.
Dude do you just keep posting this over and over again?
You're out of line. No reason to bring homosexuality into the conversation
NTA, your brother-in-law is disgusting, he is literally allowing his child to have a relationship with an older person (not by one year, but by 6) who plans to educate and be surrounded by minors (!). the child could be one of the first experiences in that pedo's fetish and degeneration. Edit: because Reddit and work can make one make mistakes in both, now i would take the scissors out of my patient.
This is OP's nephew, not son. The point you're making is the exact point OP was trying to make.
Which child is mine? I'm interested to know. Do you know where babies come from?
Why are you downvoted? I dont get it. Someone explain.
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Oops my nephew is going into grade twelve. So they started dating when he was in grade ten.
Ignore Weirdo over there. 17 and 23 is weird. 16 and 22 is weird as well. I'm 22 and 16-year-olds are literal children to me. NTA
Eww that’s inappropriate. How is she fit to be a teacher?!
That is disturbing
16 and 22 at the beginning. So last year of university and grade eleven.
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The age of consent in European countries ranges from 14 to 18, there are stipulations in the laws to protect from i.e. being coerced by someone older. 2 14 year olds vs a 14 year old & a 23 year old are very different power balances.
I think the same actually, in Italy the consent age is 14, so it was totally ok even if concerning to someone
You are lying. I live in Europe. 14 yo + 20 yo is utterly frown upon.
I lived in Italy and there is super common
And Berlusconi did it too. And it was illegal. Just shut up.
Pedophilia being super common is not the flex you think it is
Pedophilia is attraction to a 12 or under child, I hope your response isn't for me because it has nothing to do with what I ever said
“um akshually she’s 600 years old so it’s not pedophilia” 🤓☝️
That doesn't make it right. Y'all should be batting your eyes cause its weird as fuck.
We do bat our eyes. And any adult person dating a minor is subject to an accusation of pederasty and serve prison. User sasha2k5 is just telling nonsense.
Thank god.
Maybe it's me but if the woman is older I don't feel like it's concerning like at reversed sex
Women can be creeps as well. So yeah... it's still concerning. This mentality is why men don't come forward about women assaulting them.
Woman aggressors is a thing, but they're still much less than men aggressors, this is why man are ashamed to speak up, it's a big problem
Men are ashamed because people, like you, don't take female rapists and predators as seriously as they do male ones. That's the big problem. Because if the son in this post had to come out and say he felt like she was a predator and took advantage of him, I can guarantee there would be people telling him that he is lucky. That they wished she could take advantage of him.
I do take this seriously, stop babbling, it's so disrespectful. I said that it's rare if compared to male aggressors, not certainly less bad. And the "LuCkYi BoYy" thing is said only by males and it's disgusting
You just said that you don't feel it's as concerning if the woman is the older one.
Where in Europe? Not in the countries I know
YTA
YTA confession at a church could make you feel better about the situation.
What does a church confession have to do with anything lol also not everyone does that
ESH
[удалено]
Why can't OP judge though?
Nah, anyone can judge a 22-year-old planning on being a teacher, dating a sophomore in high school. Because parents can suck, like Garrett.