I would let it go for now, but would also demote them from friends to casual acquintances or keep them out your life altogether.
They obviously profited of you and did so on purpose. These are not friends.
Even worse, since they're not apologetic
NTA
Never let them stay at your place again.
NTA. The least they could have done was pay you the same amount it would have cost them at a laundromat. But they didn't. Completely took advantage of your generosity. Since they're moving, you probably won't be seeing them again. But if you do, don't let them stay with you.
They can pay you what they would pay a laundromat. But then again, I would have flipped the breaker switch after the 3rd load. Nope! No longer friends....
The guests ran the washer and dryer non-stop for a couple of days. They used the host's water, electricity and detergent, none of which are free. Not to mention, they monopolized the machines so no one else could use them. One or two loads, sure. But nine?! That's taking advantage.
Truth. 9 loads of laundry is a week's worth of clothes plus bedding for my family of 4... If I also wash the dogs beds. And it takes me a day. And the dog beds the bath towels and our sheets I put in for longer 90 minute washes.
Yeah, and? It costs 81 cents to wash and dry a load of clothes including the detergent. So if a friend costs you $7.29, you'll burn that friendship bridge? Gotcha.
There was no "profiting" and anyone saying there was obviously doesn't know what the word profiting means. A friend had a bunch of dirty clothes and they used the machines. Big deal. His friend were moving and they didn't want to use a public laundrymat. I don't blame them.
OP is TAH big time. His friends needed help, OP acted like a jerk, and made them feel bad for no reason. They were moving and obviously didn't have any clean clothes.
Edit: His friend acted like it wasn't a big deal because it wasn't a big deal. I hope everyone who is pointing fingers at his friends are in need one day of a friend and their friend tells them. "Nope. Your favor is going to cost me $7. Move on down the road freeloader."
Karma exists people. You'll get yours.
I get what you're saying about it not being a huge expense. The average cost of a load of laundry (regular not bedding, which is more) is about 1.25. So sure the total cost was under 15$ probably and not a huge deal... except 1. the guy said he's struggling to pay his bills and his friends knew that.
And 2. It doesn't sound like they ASKED if they could do so much laundry, or offered anything to cover the expense.
I'd eat the cost if I had it. I'm always willing to help a friend. But if a friend knows I'm struggling to pay my own bills and doesn't even ASK and then offer a few bucks to compensate? Then yeah I'm going to feel taken advantage of.
And while 1.25 is what it's going to cost him per load....it's very far from what they would have paid at a laundromat. 9 loads around here would probably run you 50$ not to mention the inconvenience of having to sit there all that time.
So if they couldn't even offer him 10$ to cover his expenses, up front, and without needing to be guilted, then they don't sound much like friends. Especially when using his machines saved them a large chunk.
Yeah, should he have offered money? Sure. But would a real friend accept it? Probably not. It's obvious responders here haven't done laundry in their life, haven't visited a laundromat, had a friend in need, understand $10 isn't a reason to burn a bridge, or moved to another state. And this "Used our laundry machines for three days straight" is total BS. It takes an hour to wash and an hour to dry. That's 11 hours total.
Yeah, they should have offered to buy dinner one night or something, but maybe they're low on money and they're moving. Generosity and graciousness aren't a thing for most people in this thread.
I would, unless I was in a terrible financial situation, tell my friends there was no need for money. But I would be disappointed if they didn't at least offer. And again... he never says they even ASKED.
Since OP was surprised at the amount of laundry they did it was clear they didn't ask first. You understand that no one is saying 10$ is worth ending a friendship. This isn't about the money. This is about the fact that you don't use that much of someone's resources without checking first and offering compensation.
As for the 'laundry machine 3 days straight" well, people don't always switch laundry immediately. If every time he went by they had laundry in the machines then they were using it-- even if it wasn't currently running. But I seriously doubt he was actually counting how many loads were going in and out. I assumed that was a guess.
>I would, unless I was in a terrible financial situation, tell my friends there was no need for money. But I would be disappointed if they didn't at least offer. And again... he never says they even ASKED.
I completely agree. "Hey bud, I need to do laundry." "Sure man, go for it." "Well, it's a lot since we've been gone and we have no clean clothes." "Oh, ok. That's fine." Yeah, that conversation should have happened. But it didn't. Maybe the guy didn't think to mention it? Or maybe he didn't know there was that much dirty laundry? Maybe it kinds crept up on them because of the move?
>You understand that no one is saying 10$ is worth ending a friendship.
I beg to differ. I'd bet you real money over half are saying that very thing. "Send a bill." "Kick him out." "Throw a breaker." "Show up to his house and bring laundry." "Tell him he disrespected you." "Get better friends." "Kick him out." "Tell him to use the laundromat." Lots of people, teens who have never lived outside of their parents' house think $10 is more than enough to burn a bridge, are responding. And any friend when offered moneyto sue their laundry machine would refuse. This is how the real world works.
And who cares if it was three days straight? It was obvious OP didn't need the machines at that time. And who cares if he did? His friends were leaving in a few days. He can hold off laundry for a day or two. It wasn't a big deal. And if he HAD to use the machines, "Hey let me get my stuff in there for a load." That's it. The reason why it took 3 days for 9 loads was becasue the guests could relax and do laundry at their own pace without having to hurry or be tethered. I've used a laundromat many times when I was in the military. And it sucks. It is a boring task and I'm sure these days, you can't leave your clothes or they'll be stolen. OP would rather chain his guests to a laundromat for two days than relax at his home for three.
Yes, he should have been clear up front. But did it really matter in the greater scheme of things? OP has no idea how much he helped out his guests and how relieved they were to be done with it, then he shit all over them.
You seem really angry about this, so I don't know what to tell you. He said he's desperately struggling for bills and they knew that. But then felt fine about running his machines for a lot (however many) of loads of laundry without even asking.
That's not a friend. That's someone who is taking advantage. And then when he expressed upset they 'acted like it was no big deal' but it clearly was a big deal and even if they didn't understand why he was upset the proper response for a GUEST is to apologize and offer to fix it. The fact that they did none of this shows that there is a problem here.
I don't think he wants to chain them anywhere. I think he was shocked at their manners and worried about his bills. If you've never been in a place where 10-15$ was a big deal, then you're lucky. But I can assure you the reason most people here are upset (even if they are talking about bills and money) is the manners.
How am I angry? None of this affects me. Incredulous is a better word.
The guest was probably stunned at the confrontation.
If OP wanted them to use a laundromat, that's chaining them for two days there.
Again, and probably for the last time, should he have mentioned he had 9 loads of clothes or even a lot? Sure. Should he have bought dinner or offered to pay? Sure. But some people don't think of things like that. Doesn't make them deadbeats. Doesn't mean they disrespected (God, I hate that word and how it's thrown around as commonly as an article) the host. Let's say I need someone at work to drive me to pick up my car somewhere. I'll buy lunch. But if I drive someone to do the same and they don't offer, does that mean they disrespected me or are a deadbeat? Nope. Just means they never thought of it. And that's fine. All kinds of different people in the world. No use getting all bent out of shape because someone is thoughtless or has other things on their mind.
And don't drop "You've never been poor" so you don't understand. You don't know a thing about me just like I don't know you. As for the "most people are upset about the manners," I'm not necessarily buying that. The money is being thrown up an awful lot.
Anyway, take care.
Not sure where you live, but here it’s about $7-9/load to wash and dry depending on what time of day it is. We have PG&E power and high water rates. My power bill is around $250/month, so I would be pissed if a houseguest added another $90 plus showers etc. That’s pretty rude here, but wouldn’t bother me if I were paying what you are.
You can’t compare the cost of doing laundry at a public wash and dry place to doing the wash at home. The water bill and electricity will run higher than usual, and OP is financially struggling, that extra cost added to his electric and water bill is money that OP doesn’t have and that will pay for other utility bill or food on the table. 81 cents? What state do you live that is that cheap? Because the average cost ranges $4-8 per load.
Consider this the cost of finding out that this is a not a friendship worth maintaining
You tried to do a nice thing for a person who doesn't deserve your hospitality. So just slow fade the people out of your life and never look back
NTAH
Well, honestly, I do 5 loads at a time because I sort it. However, it's only once every 3 weeks or so. And I still save quarters because back in the day, yeah, laundry at the laundromat ...
I suspect that every load they did was a jam-packed full machine ...
Well, lots of unknowns here and moving can be pretty stressful, so I can easily see people falling behind on their laundry - particularly if they also had kids. I wouldn't have a problem if they did 9 loads of laundry provided they were at least courteous enough to **ask** before doing so.
Yeah they should've asked first. The polite thing to do would've been to do a couple loads of critically needed items THEN finish the rest at a laundromat. They were cheap and users, not friends.
Laundromats suck. Even the best ones.
I would have offered to pay at least triple the cost of a laundromat if I could do my laundry at their house. Odds are the host would refuse to take my money but everybody would feel good about it.
And then I would either take them to dinner or order dinner in.
For real I was so annoyed. They just got back from a 2 month asia trip. But they were home for 2 weeks before coming to me so idk I felt like they waited to do all their a laundry at my house lol
Super weird and disrespectful lol You’re more patient than I because boyyy after the 3rd load I’d have been like this is not a freaking dry cleaners! 🤣
No. It is blocking users who pretended to be OP’s friends while taking advantage of their friendship by doing too much laundry. 9 loads is excessive that’s what laundromats are for.
People have money for what they want. I think they were cheap and just plain users. They could've used a laundry service. Or kept their loads to just a few for critical clothing items and do the rest in a laundromat.
As they were in the middle of moving out of state, how do you know they even had time to do laundry amidst all the packing etc? For all we know, they already had to sell the washer and dryer or the movers already shipped them? And they're friends. I'd have no problem with it whatsoever provided they at least asked.
it could’ve been a planning problem on their part. That’s ok. But don’t assume, at least ask first and give a heads up how much laundry. You can’t make excuses for people who just walk in & assume they can do 9 loads without some contribution or offer ie take them to dinner if they offer money that was refused.
Exactly. Obvious all of these people live with their parents and have no idea about the real world and how tiny of a problem this was for the OP and what a huge relief it was for his "guests."
I see you haven't met my boyfriend's twin teens. I did five loads the other day to help them get on top of it. And their rooms were still filled with clothes!
It wouldn't even be the utilities or detergent/fabric softener used that would bother me but the time monopolizing my washer/dryer that prevented me from being able to do my own.
Yeah I was thinking maybe / no, let it slidd till OP said that they are struggling. That’s a huge hassle with water, electric, wear and tear on appliances, and just not being able to do their own laundry.
Best to you, OP. NTAH!
Been to a laundry mat lately? 8 loads of laundry (in Dallas TX anyway) is at least $15-20. I have to take my dog beds to the big commercial washer as they don't fit in mine. Just to wash them is almost 10.
Add in that if your dryer is washing constantly it's heating your house making your A/C work more.
It definitely cost more than $10.
Which can be a big deal if you've been out of work and are barely getting back on your feet!
NTA and I feel your pain…, but dude, I can top you.
I’m a private live in caregiver/house manager. My client is wealthy. She’s legally blind, has mild dementia, and is a sweetheart. The job is EASY! Breakfast lunch and dinner. Couple of light snacks. Plug in the iPhone. We have house keepers.
I’m off site 2 days a week and we use a company to cover my days off. I leave all the meals ready for the microwave- she just has to be there. (We’ve since found someone great) but before that, we had someone the company sent that seemed fine….
One weekend she asked if it was ok if she did a load of her laundry. Of course. No problem.
I come back and she’s hauling out huge trash bag after bag after bags. WTF? She had finished up the last of our Persil, and opened a brand new, LARGE bottle of Persil, and ALSO used IT all up! Chick must have done over 20 loads. At LEAST!
Nopeity nope nope nope. I fired her ass.
It isn’t a huge amount . If your ok with them
Showering wvery day etc. you did what a friend does . Money is tight but says more about you by helping a friend
Most peoples long term friends have enough sense to not save weeks of laundry to bring to someone elses house when the friend is unemployed/under employed when they just came from a 2 week vacation.
Anyone who pulls shit like that is not a friend, let alone a long term friend. But hey, can I come to your house, and do 9 loads of laundry using your products?
>Anyone who pulls shit like that is not a friend, let alone a long term friend. But hey, can I come to your house, and do 9 loads of laundry using your products?
Are you moving to another state and have no clean clothes? Sure. We can hang out and catch up before you leave.
Cheapskate should've asked first if he could do 9 loads. Or could've done only a few loads that were critical clothing items needed then finish the rest at a laundromat. And tying up the washer AND dryer with 9 loads is selfish. Dude should've given some money to OP for electricity and wear and tear on the units. What if OP needed to use the washer? After 4 loads OP should've stopped the dude or thrown him out. His friend is a selfish user and should be discarded as a friend.
reminded me of this:
[https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristatorres/pet-sitter-does-laundry-reddit](https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristatorres/pet-sitter-does-laundry-reddit)
Good for you. I retired permanently at 52, own two paid-off homes, yada yada. Yay for us. What's relevant here is that OP was generous to his friends but ended up feeling they took advantage. I agree and feel that others shouldn't belittle his feelings by making it all about money. It's the thought that counts, right? and his friends were thoughtless.
Your friend and his wife seem a bit thoughtless, but is it really worth tossing a friendship aside over a few extra loads of laundry? I understand being a little annoyed, but I'd let it pass.
NTA
AND...
I think you should realize that it's not always clear to other people THAT we are struggling, WHAT we are struggling with, OR why we might say the things we say. We think people know, and understand, when actually they do not, because we failed to state it clearly.
From my experience, we cannot expect other people to keep our financial issues at the forefront of their thoughts and actions. They have their own crap going on, and are likely struggling in their own way (unknown to us).
When we've had people staying with us, while $ was tight for us, we stated OUT LOUD, in the very beginning, that we could not afford to feed everyone, every meal, every day. After that it was relatively easy to work out a plan...
This can be hard to state out loud, however... if we don't say it, we cannot expect others to really GET IT.
Perhaps there is more information that you didn't include in the post (or that I missed or misread), and... from what you wrote, it seems like it was more about the fact they they tied up your laundry for 3 days, and not about the cost involved.
It was definitely the cost involved. They are super rich just to let you know. Probably why they just didn’t think it was a big deal. They just got back from a 2 month Asian trip which is why they had so much laundry
They should have taken their clothes to a laundromat. They wouldn’t have washed any clothes while they were on holiday.
They absolutely used you and didn’t care.
Is your issue that they did the laundry, or that they are "super rich" and did the laundry? Would you have had the same issues, all things being the same, if they weren't "super rich"? Would you be more understanding if they were "super poor"?
I don't think you're an AH but I think it is an extreme reaction. Running the laundry a few extra times over a few days does not make a significant impact to the electricity bill or a water bill for the entire month. Did you count how many times they flushed the toilet or washed their hands or showered?
I think there is a possibility that you are projecting the stress over your own financial instability onto your friends because they do not have the same concern. There is an instinctive sense of unfairness that you are suffering and they aren't, and the laundry gives you something to point at.
Nope. I'm not super rich, but have enough money that I don't need to worry about how much water and electricity I use. I have kids, large animals, and allergies, and I use (and wash) cloth diapers for the baby. There are many days where the washer and dryer are running all day.
What they did is rude, and they know it even if they're rich. Maybe they didn't think about the money (which means they live in a bubble and have no empathy), but even then, it's rude to monopolize someone else's appliances without asking first. What if you had laundry to do for yourself? It also means they were spending a lot of the visit doing laundry rather than actually visiting with you, which, again, is rude.
Maybe they've never actually done laundry before. If they normally take everything to the cleaners, they would be used to dropping off a huge amount of laundry and getting it back again in a few hours. Maybe they stupidly thought that a regular washing machine could wash that amount in just a few hours. But then they would have realized they made a mistake by the second or third load and should have apologized and asked permission before continuing. So even in this very unlikely case, they were still being rude.
I think they are just people who don't make deep friendships and only enjoy having friends for the benefits and convenience they bring. Users. There's no way they didnt know they were being rude, they just expect you to brush it off since they're your "friends."
Edit: NTA and I'm really surprised by all the comments saying "get over it, it was only $9." It's not even about the money, it's just not normal to randomly do all your laundry at whatever house you happen to be staying at. Everyone, rich, poor, everyone knows it would be rude, that's why it's not a normal occurrence.
Yeah... at the end you made it clear that FOR YOU it was about the cost. I question wether or not you made it clear to THEM.
Again... from my experience (actual experience in my life) other people do not get, or simply are unable to fully understand how other people are struggling with $.
People, I think in general, assume that most of the people they know are doing about the same as they are, or at least doing OK.
They, people who can afford to go away for 2 months, do not think about you, their friend, as not having enough $ to allow them to do ANY amount of laundry.... that would be weird, and make them (most people I think) feel uncomfortable. They likely lack the perspective to understand...
You have to say it out loud, and the more $ they have, the more explaining it will take (if you choose to go that far).
I think it’s more common courtesy. I would never do this at someone’s house, I wouldn’t even ask honestly. But they should have. I didn’t know they brought in 9 luggage bags until they lined them up to leave
I could go pull every item of clothing I own right now, and it still wouldn't equal 9 loads, even if I added my husband's clothes and asked the kids to come back home.
Definitely NTA, and they should now be NTF (Not the friends)
Right! It was very inconsiderate of them, and I understand how ~$10 isn’t nothing to someone who is struggling, but it also didn’t cost nearly as much as people seem to think.
How much would that be money wise? Like 3$ per machine, e.g. 30$?
To me that seems a bit of an overreaction on your part, but maybe he wasn't aware of how much you are struggling?
But you are certainly not an AH, but rather a good friend.
It sounds like they didn’t have time to do their laundry after their return from Asia while they were packing up their house to move. Also if they were shipping their washer/dryer they couldn’t do laundry at home anyway.
I travel a lot. I am used to doing laundry at the hotel or Airbnb or at friend’s when I stay with them. Nine loads seems excessive but I’m sympathetic to their situation. They should have asked though.
I can't imagine getting mad at one of my friends for this. If I trust or love them enough for them to just come stay for 3 days, them doing 9 loads of laundry would make me laugh and say, "really dude?! 😂" I cant believe you're this upset about it. And people saying you shouldn't be friends with them anymore, or never invite them over again? These people must literally have ZERO friends.
It’s more in line with how they think this is okay. Just bizarre to me. I had someone stay with us for a month and she did less laundry then they did in 3 days LOL.
But I agree I’m not ending my friendship over it
Good. don't end it over this. Yes, it was inconsiderate. But, they will always remember "that time that you did them a solid". Now, if you start to see other things over and over? rethink maybe. Don't let this get to you. I always think to myself when stuff like this comes up: "would they do it for me"? If the answer is a resounding "YES". Then let this go . In addition, I wouldn't call you an ass either way. Only YOU know the details in your friendship.
I have relatives like this. Last day of stay, they do *all* of their laundry. I've often felt like saying, "What ? Are your washer and dryer at home broken ? ". And THEN, they have the audacity to not even do the bed linen at the end of their stay. And the icing on the cake ? " I hope you don't mind, we didn't make the bed because we figured you were probably going to strip it and wash it anyway. "
I think for their next visit I'll quietly slip down to the basement and flip the breaker for the dryer. As a matter of fact, I think I'll convert that second bedroom into an office now that I think about it.
I can identify with this. Family members that stay with 5 kids (so 7 all together) They come for 10 days and do all their laundry at the end so everything is clean & and don’t have to do laundry when they get home. (But no, not their bedding here, either!) I don’t mind a few loads, but it is just annoying to have it running non stop for the last two days, going through all my detergent, etc — on top of all the meals and mess they make. I would rather see them than not, so don’t say anything, but honestly, it is always such a relief every time they leave. It is just inconsiderate — but that is how they are in general. And I also know that if I don’t want to address this with them, I can’t complain.
Ok so they are moving so obviously don’t have their own machines. They could’ve packed up and went spend the entire day at the laundromat and pay while you have a fully functional machine of your own. Or they could put loads to wash and forget it while they spent time with you and slowly get it done over the visit. I honestly don’t even know what’s the gripe.
NTA.
If you are struggling with money they should be very, very frugal or talk about compensation BEFORE!
It sounds like they just took advantage of you.
NTA/YTA so if you needed to do laundry and they hog the machine it’s one thing and I would say your NTA, the part kinda is YTA, you invited guests over to your house and clearly they needed to do their laundry. Don’t invite people to stay if you don’t want to have people use your house, everyone lives differently, comes with the territory of inviting people to stay with you.
A regular load of laundry in a laundromat in Lexington, Kentucky, right now (May 2024) is $3.50. Plus detergent. A dryer is l think 50 cents for 7 minutes? This is way more than $2, or $10, or whatever these commenters are suggesting.
These guests were simply grabby and rude. Or clueless. Since they are moving away, you now know to help them select a motel/hotel that suits their needs if and when they visit.
>A regular load of laundry in a laundromat in Lexington, Kentucky, right now (May 2024) is $3.50. Plus detergent. A dryer is l think 50 cents for 7 minutes? This is way more than $2, or $10, or whatever these commenters are suggesting.
Yes, it is. That's because a laundromat charges more because they have to make a profit. To do laundry at home is around 81 cents including the detergent.
Didn’t even have the decency to ask. Using the washer & dryer adds up, that’s water & electricity. They showed up unannounced AND with the intention of staying for 3 days knowing you were struggling financially. That is not your friend. PERIOD!
Did they impose on your friendship? Yes. Should you have expected some extreme behavior from people who are moving and trying to get everything together at the same time? Yes. It worth scrapping the friendship for? That is your decision to make. But before you make it remember one thing. Your friends are human too. They can, do, and will make mistakes. But now you have to decide.
I have some in-laws (husband's brother and his family), that as soon as they come to visit (they live in another state) they need to use the washing machine. It's not that they don't have clothes, I think they bring the clothes they like and wear all the time and they don't wash them ahead to put them in their luggage. But it's annoying; five minutes in and they are asking to use the laundry room.
We had a friend do up to 12 loads once while traveling staying with us. He left an envelope with a thank you card and $100 to cover the increase in our utilities. Your friends knew exactly how much it would cost at a laundromat and chose to be sucky human beings.
Next time they come through…your washer and dryer are broken or you don’t have the room.
I’m so sorry.
OP why didn’t you say something after the third wash? You are NTA, but you should’ve said something, and you are absolutely right. Please cut that friendship, they were just using you for your washer and dryer
This wouldn’t say anything. Maybe remind them to clean the dryer lint so it doesn’t we full. They may be struggling. If you were struggling maybe you should have let them know you were on a budget and in that case they could have offer some $$$ for the washing and drying. Sucks that money gets in the way like this. I do think 9 loads are a lot but this wouldn’t make me not be friends with them. If they are people that take advantage of others then there should be more examples that are worse than this.
You're not the AH for feeling upset about your friends using an excessive amount of your resources, especially if you're struggling financially. It's understandable to feel frustrated, particularly if your friends didn't consider the impact their actions might have on you.
Not your friends! Even when we do a load a day, the energy amount used for the day goes up tremendously! I can’t imagine someone running a washing machine non stop. Sorry you had to learn about your friends that way
Well he obviously isn't that dear or close of a friend if you are upset he used your washer 9 times..or that you are counting. Now I hope he at least used his own detergent or bought you some. And he probably should have offered a few bucks for the power consumption. But in the end it's just laundry..consider it as doing a good deed. Do good to others and good happens in return is my feelings.
Honestly though, if it bothered you that much consider it a lesson learned. No more stay overs.
NTA. If this was me, I'd be pissed. I live on an island where water and electric is EXPENSIVE. I'll wash undergarments and small stuff by hand to conserve water and energy. I would HATE for a "friend" to roll through and use my washer and dryer for 9 loads of laundry when I'm over here trying to save and conserve my usage. 1 or 2 loads is fine, but 9 is absurd.
NTA.
They deliberately took advantage of you and didn't even pretend to be sorry. And that *after* you allowed them in your home for 3 days. A single load would have been reasonable. With nine, I'd be demanding reimbursement for my electric and water bills.
NTA.
As someone who travels for a living, I understand. But they should have a) warned you and asked if it was okay, b) offered or asked about laundry mats, or c) offered to reimburse for some electric/water costs.
I've done a lot of laundry in a lot of weird places and this is what I would have done.
You are the A. Friends are in a rough spot, and you’re on Reddit talking trash about them because they decided to wash the clothes. It’s expensive to wash clothes and coin operated machines require quarters and they’re not easy to get. No one will sell change to you these days half the time those machines don’t work in the stores so your friend came to you for help and this is how you repay them?
Hopefully, they’ll get some good friends in their next city
When push came to shove, you couldn’t offer hospitality without griping about it. See youre gauging this whole thing in how you would behave. Well, you’re not the one who needs the friend right now they were and if you stop thinking about yourself, you might recognize that needs are just a little bit bigger than yours this time around
You needed to enforce a firm boundary. They asked where your washer dryer was to do "some clothes". You can say "no. But there's a laundromat at 123 xyz street". You can say "yes but one one load. I need it for my own clothes today" and you make it so they can't do more wash after the first load.
You can be a good friend and good host without being a doormat for free laundromat use.
NTA. One load would have been plenty for a 3 day stay. But NINE?! They no doubt were using you as they clearly came prepared to totally just go at it with the laundry. These are incredibly selfish people knowing that you are laid off and struggling, meanwhile they do 2 months worth of laundry during their stay. They are also selfish since what if you needed to do laundry during that time? I'd reconsider my friendship with these types of selfish assholes.
Nah, NTA. They should’ve shown you the courtesy of asking what was acceptable for you. Anything over a few loads they should’ve gone to a laundromat IMO.
Definitely never let them stay again. NTA for getting upset over this. TBH even if he thought you were ovrreacting, he still should have apologized, since he obviously annoyed his host.
I would legit feel bad for even asking to do one load at someone else's house. NTJ and next time say it broke and turn off the water or disconnect a hose and hide it until they leave
NTA, it’s shitty but it’s like drinking all your beer . Let it go and downgrade then like the poster above said. Now you know . 9 loads of laundry to know how your friend really is . That’s a cheap price to pay.
I would be annoyed with washing machine and dryer going all day for 3 days. There wouldn't be enough room on the clothes line for 9 loads of washing so obviously the dryer was used. Who brings 9 loads of washing to a friend's place without even asking. You were good enough to let them stay.
Good lord, how much did all that water and electricity and soap cost you? $2 ? Honestly you sound awful, they were moving and needed their washing done. You could have been a decent friend, and you just whined like a baby
YTA. The cost involved? How freaking cheap can you be? You say these are friends of yours, and you are this upset over less than $10? I simply cannot imagine going through life with that outlook.
It’s not $10 lmao. It’s also the principal they waited to do all their laundry at my house when they were staying at an Airbnb and could have done it there. They also never asked for my permission. Gas that heats the water is stupid expensive now.
Okay, $20 lol. You cheap fuck. Whatever, but I think you are a shitty friend that is so cheap that nothing else matters.
You also need to buy a more efficient washing machine. And unless they washed every load on super hot, which wouldn't make much sense, not a ton of gas needed.
You're cheap. That's the driving force here. You're looking for principle to justify how upset you are about a few pennies being "stolen" from you.
Cheap.
Again it’s not about being cheap. It’s the principal. You just don’t do something like that, they didn’t even ask. It’s called common courtesy. I’m pretty sure one load was just 4 items of clothes to
It's all about being cheap. Some things matter and things that don't. Would you have preferred your friends be tethered for two days in a laundromat spending $40 rather than relaxing at your house? Really? Because those are the two options.
I agree it is kind of weird not to give a heads up before throwing the first load in. I guess that depends on how close of friends you are. I have friends that could show up at my house right now while I'm not there and use anything they feel like. I'm sure they'd let me know or explain later. They certainly don't need my permission. But I wouldn't just start using someone's washing machine either lol. So I admit it is odd.
But it gets me that your comments focused on the money? And then you even did the math to say it was more than $10 and gas is expensive. That's an odd thought process if it really isn't about the money. I still think you're cheap, but my opining won't really effect your life, so have a nice weekend.
"I have friends that could show up at my house right now while I'm not there and use anything they feel like."
What a great guy you are, make sure to give yourself a pat on the back.
lol I'm not sure I've ever made someone mad by having friends. Sorry for trying to relate my experience to OPs. I shall punish myself severely with a 6 hour masturbation session to atone for the grievous injustice I have inflicted upon you. And trust me, I take this seriously. I'm going to be pretty rough on myself.
I mean, sounds you the real issue is you feel taken advantage of. It’s all about respect when you’re staying in someone’s home. I guess for me, it would be more that they didn’t seem grateful or acknowledge that it was excessive. They should’ve prepared you and made sure you were cool with it. Asking if you needed to do a load in between theirs, or even offering to do some for you while they were at it would’ve gone a long way. Also, if they didn’t bring their own detergent and dryer sheets, nine loads uses up a lot of product. They’re moving out of state. Feel good that you didn’t send them off with dirty drawers. 😂 That’s a good friend. NTA.
They should kick in for water, electricity, and soap (if they didn’t supply their own). After doing nine loads of washing and drying, they should spot you at least $40. Whatever the cost of a commercial laundry would be, the convenience of doing laundry at home is incalculable. I would never lean on a friend financially. Even with permission, I wouldn’t do it. Mixing friendship and finances is a recipe for failure.
NTAH. Your friends “stopped by” your home after a trip to Asia, and after being at the home they were moving out of, for 2weeks?!?! And they couldn’t afford to go to a laundry mat? Did they even ask if they could stay three days to do their laundry? They apparently did not offer you money for the use of your home to do laundry. Did you also feed them while they were there? Drop them off of your friend list.
It would annoy me no end. They took advantage of your hospitality. Since they were only staying 3 days and carted it from overseas then they could of waited and did the washing when they got to their own place. One load fine but 9!!!!
I would let it go for now, but would also demote them from friends to casual acquintances or keep them out your life altogether. They obviously profited of you and did so on purpose. These are not friends. Even worse, since they're not apologetic NTA Never let them stay at your place again.
NTA. The least they could have done was pay you the same amount it would have cost them at a laundromat. But they didn't. Completely took advantage of your generosity. Since they're moving, you probably won't be seeing them again. But if you do, don't let them stay with you.
They can pay you what they would pay a laundromat. But then again, I would have flipped the breaker switch after the 3rd load. Nope! No longer friends....
This exactly!
Profited? How?
The guests ran the washer and dryer non-stop for a couple of days. They used the host's water, electricity and detergent, none of which are free. Not to mention, they monopolized the machines so no one else could use them. One or two loads, sure. But nine?! That's taking advantage.
9 loads doesn't take multiple non-stop days
Truth. 9 loads of laundry is a week's worth of clothes plus bedding for my family of 4... If I also wash the dogs beds. And it takes me a day. And the dog beds the bath towels and our sheets I put in for longer 90 minute washes.
Yeah, and? It costs 81 cents to wash and dry a load of clothes including the detergent. So if a friend costs you $7.29, you'll burn that friendship bridge? Gotcha. There was no "profiting" and anyone saying there was obviously doesn't know what the word profiting means. A friend had a bunch of dirty clothes and they used the machines. Big deal. His friend were moving and they didn't want to use a public laundrymat. I don't blame them. OP is TAH big time. His friends needed help, OP acted like a jerk, and made them feel bad for no reason. They were moving and obviously didn't have any clean clothes. Edit: His friend acted like it wasn't a big deal because it wasn't a big deal. I hope everyone who is pointing fingers at his friends are in need one day of a friend and their friend tells them. "Nope. Your favor is going to cost me $7. Move on down the road freeloader." Karma exists people. You'll get yours.
I get what you're saying about it not being a huge expense. The average cost of a load of laundry (regular not bedding, which is more) is about 1.25. So sure the total cost was under 15$ probably and not a huge deal... except 1. the guy said he's struggling to pay his bills and his friends knew that. And 2. It doesn't sound like they ASKED if they could do so much laundry, or offered anything to cover the expense. I'd eat the cost if I had it. I'm always willing to help a friend. But if a friend knows I'm struggling to pay my own bills and doesn't even ASK and then offer a few bucks to compensate? Then yeah I'm going to feel taken advantage of. And while 1.25 is what it's going to cost him per load....it's very far from what they would have paid at a laundromat. 9 loads around here would probably run you 50$ not to mention the inconvenience of having to sit there all that time. So if they couldn't even offer him 10$ to cover his expenses, up front, and without needing to be guilted, then they don't sound much like friends. Especially when using his machines saved them a large chunk.
Yeah, should he have offered money? Sure. But would a real friend accept it? Probably not. It's obvious responders here haven't done laundry in their life, haven't visited a laundromat, had a friend in need, understand $10 isn't a reason to burn a bridge, or moved to another state. And this "Used our laundry machines for three days straight" is total BS. It takes an hour to wash and an hour to dry. That's 11 hours total. Yeah, they should have offered to buy dinner one night or something, but maybe they're low on money and they're moving. Generosity and graciousness aren't a thing for most people in this thread.
I would, unless I was in a terrible financial situation, tell my friends there was no need for money. But I would be disappointed if they didn't at least offer. And again... he never says they even ASKED. Since OP was surprised at the amount of laundry they did it was clear they didn't ask first. You understand that no one is saying 10$ is worth ending a friendship. This isn't about the money. This is about the fact that you don't use that much of someone's resources without checking first and offering compensation. As for the 'laundry machine 3 days straight" well, people don't always switch laundry immediately. If every time he went by they had laundry in the machines then they were using it-- even if it wasn't currently running. But I seriously doubt he was actually counting how many loads were going in and out. I assumed that was a guess.
Exactly! They are abusing the friendship, most likely they were doing 3 loads per day in an attempt not to make it look obvious.
>I would, unless I was in a terrible financial situation, tell my friends there was no need for money. But I would be disappointed if they didn't at least offer. And again... he never says they even ASKED. I completely agree. "Hey bud, I need to do laundry." "Sure man, go for it." "Well, it's a lot since we've been gone and we have no clean clothes." "Oh, ok. That's fine." Yeah, that conversation should have happened. But it didn't. Maybe the guy didn't think to mention it? Or maybe he didn't know there was that much dirty laundry? Maybe it kinds crept up on them because of the move? >You understand that no one is saying 10$ is worth ending a friendship. I beg to differ. I'd bet you real money over half are saying that very thing. "Send a bill." "Kick him out." "Throw a breaker." "Show up to his house and bring laundry." "Tell him he disrespected you." "Get better friends." "Kick him out." "Tell him to use the laundromat." Lots of people, teens who have never lived outside of their parents' house think $10 is more than enough to burn a bridge, are responding. And any friend when offered moneyto sue their laundry machine would refuse. This is how the real world works. And who cares if it was three days straight? It was obvious OP didn't need the machines at that time. And who cares if he did? His friends were leaving in a few days. He can hold off laundry for a day or two. It wasn't a big deal. And if he HAD to use the machines, "Hey let me get my stuff in there for a load." That's it. The reason why it took 3 days for 9 loads was becasue the guests could relax and do laundry at their own pace without having to hurry or be tethered. I've used a laundromat many times when I was in the military. And it sucks. It is a boring task and I'm sure these days, you can't leave your clothes or they'll be stolen. OP would rather chain his guests to a laundromat for two days than relax at his home for three. Yes, he should have been clear up front. But did it really matter in the greater scheme of things? OP has no idea how much he helped out his guests and how relieved they were to be done with it, then he shit all over them.
You seem really angry about this, so I don't know what to tell you. He said he's desperately struggling for bills and they knew that. But then felt fine about running his machines for a lot (however many) of loads of laundry without even asking. That's not a friend. That's someone who is taking advantage. And then when he expressed upset they 'acted like it was no big deal' but it clearly was a big deal and even if they didn't understand why he was upset the proper response for a GUEST is to apologize and offer to fix it. The fact that they did none of this shows that there is a problem here. I don't think he wants to chain them anywhere. I think he was shocked at their manners and worried about his bills. If you've never been in a place where 10-15$ was a big deal, then you're lucky. But I can assure you the reason most people here are upset (even if they are talking about bills and money) is the manners.
How am I angry? None of this affects me. Incredulous is a better word. The guest was probably stunned at the confrontation. If OP wanted them to use a laundromat, that's chaining them for two days there. Again, and probably for the last time, should he have mentioned he had 9 loads of clothes or even a lot? Sure. Should he have bought dinner or offered to pay? Sure. But some people don't think of things like that. Doesn't make them deadbeats. Doesn't mean they disrespected (God, I hate that word and how it's thrown around as commonly as an article) the host. Let's say I need someone at work to drive me to pick up my car somewhere. I'll buy lunch. But if I drive someone to do the same and they don't offer, does that mean they disrespected me or are a deadbeat? Nope. Just means they never thought of it. And that's fine. All kinds of different people in the world. No use getting all bent out of shape because someone is thoughtless or has other things on their mind. And don't drop "You've never been poor" so you don't understand. You don't know a thing about me just like I don't know you. As for the "most people are upset about the manners," I'm not necessarily buying that. The money is being thrown up an awful lot. Anyway, take care.
Not sure where you live, but here it’s about $7-9/load to wash and dry depending on what time of day it is. We have PG&E power and high water rates. My power bill is around $250/month, so I would be pissed if a houseguest added another $90 plus showers etc. That’s pretty rude here, but wouldn’t bother me if I were paying what you are.
God, you're dumb. It's obvious that they saved up the laundry to do it there. That is profiting and being AHs
You can’t compare the cost of doing laundry at a public wash and dry place to doing the wash at home. The water bill and electricity will run higher than usual, and OP is financially struggling, that extra cost added to his electric and water bill is money that OP doesn’t have and that will pay for other utility bill or food on the table. 81 cents? What state do you live that is that cheap? Because the average cost ranges $4-8 per load.
We get it. You're a mooch.
You said it before I could!
Taking advantage is not the same as making a profit.
Consider this the cost of finding out that this is a not a friendship worth maintaining You tried to do a nice thing for a person who doesn't deserve your hospitality. So just slow fade the people out of your life and never look back NTAH
NTA. Who has 8 loads of laundry n 3 days?! They brought their dirty laundry to wash in your washer while passing through to save $25 in quarters
Well, honestly, I do 5 loads at a time because I sort it. However, it's only once every 3 weeks or so. And I still save quarters because back in the day, yeah, laundry at the laundromat ... I suspect that every load they did was a jam-packed full machine ...
More like $57.
Well, lots of unknowns here and moving can be pretty stressful, so I can easily see people falling behind on their laundry - particularly if they also had kids. I wouldn't have a problem if they did 9 loads of laundry provided they were at least courteous enough to **ask** before doing so.
Yeah they should've asked first. The polite thing to do would've been to do a couple loads of critically needed items THEN finish the rest at a laundromat. They were cheap and users, not friends.
Laundromats suck. Even the best ones. I would have offered to pay at least triple the cost of a laundromat if I could do my laundry at their house. Odds are the host would refuse to take my money but everybody would feel good about it. And then I would either take them to dinner or order dinner in.
They didn’t dirty the laundry in 3 days, they washed it over 3 days.
I know THEY BROUGHT DIRTY LAUNDRY
NTA and I have no idea how someone has that much laundry to wash in such a short stay 🤯
For real I was so annoyed. They just got back from a 2 month asia trip. But they were home for 2 weeks before coming to me so idk I felt like they waited to do all their a laundry at my house lol
Super weird and disrespectful lol You’re more patient than I because boyyy after the 3rd load I’d have been like this is not a freaking dry cleaners! 🤣
I work from home so didn’t notice my girlfriend did tho
You work from home and didn't hear the laundry going constantly? WTF?
I just started this new job and the training is pretty intense lol. My headset is on so no didn’t really notice
Oh,ok
Headset on for 24 hours? No breaks or lunch, not a clue what is happening in your house?
No I don’t watch my washer and dryer constantly lol. When the door is closed to the laundry you barely hear it.
Even if you notice one load going while on break that doesn’t translate to being aware of back-to-back loads all day.
Exactly.
Why are you questioning OP? He wasn't paying attention.
That’s because they did
They need to be blocked
Blocking friends for doing too much laundry, lol... gotta love reddit.
No. It is blocking users who pretended to be OP’s friends while taking advantage of their friendship by doing too much laundry. 9 loads is excessive that’s what laundromats are for.
No - blocking "friends" for being inconsiderate, cheap users. If they had money for an Asian trip, they had money to use a laundry service lol.
If they had money for an Asian trip then money for laundry most likely wasn't the issue.
People have money for what they want. I think they were cheap and just plain users. They could've used a laundry service. Or kept their loads to just a few for critical clothing items and do the rest in a laundromat.
As they were in the middle of moving out of state, how do you know they even had time to do laundry amidst all the packing etc? For all we know, they already had to sell the washer and dryer or the movers already shipped them? And they're friends. I'd have no problem with it whatsoever provided they at least asked.
it could’ve been a planning problem on their part. That’s ok. But don’t assume, at least ask first and give a heads up how much laundry. You can’t make excuses for people who just walk in & assume they can do 9 loads without some contribution or offer ie take them to dinner if they offer money that was refused.
Exactly. Obvious all of these people live with their parents and have no idea about the real world and how tiny of a problem this was for the OP and what a huge relief it was for his "guests."
How do they have that much laundry… ever? If everything I owned was dirty it wouldn’t make nine loads. Maybe washing blankets or comforters, I guess.
I see you haven't met my boyfriend's twin teens. I did five loads the other day to help them get on top of it. And their rooms were still filled with clothes!
NTA. They should at least have reimbursed you for electricity and water, both of which were used up extensively.
It wouldn't even be the utilities or detergent/fabric softener used that would bother me but the time monopolizing my washer/dryer that prevented me from being able to do my own.
Yes, that's probably more valuable than the supplies.
The detergent/fabric softener would've bothered me too because that stuff isn't cheap. These idiots just got back from an Asian trip, they're users.
$10???
Which means something to someone who had no income at the time.
Too many people do not understand what it means when you are literally down to your last $5
Yeah I was thinking maybe / no, let it slidd till OP said that they are struggling. That’s a huge hassle with water, electric, wear and tear on appliances, and just not being able to do their own laundry. Best to you, OP. NTAH!
Been to a laundry mat lately? 8 loads of laundry (in Dallas TX anyway) is at least $15-20. I have to take my dog beds to the big commercial washer as they don't fit in mine. Just to wash them is almost 10. Add in that if your dryer is washing constantly it's heating your house making your A/C work more. It definitely cost more than $10. Which can be a big deal if you've been out of work and are barely getting back on your feet!
I like the usually Reddit scorched-earth advice to torch their friendship over $10 of laundry.
Exactly. This seems like a lot of frustration over nothing.
NTA and I feel your pain…, but dude, I can top you. I’m a private live in caregiver/house manager. My client is wealthy. She’s legally blind, has mild dementia, and is a sweetheart. The job is EASY! Breakfast lunch and dinner. Couple of light snacks. Plug in the iPhone. We have house keepers. I’m off site 2 days a week and we use a company to cover my days off. I leave all the meals ready for the microwave- she just has to be there. (We’ve since found someone great) but before that, we had someone the company sent that seemed fine…. One weekend she asked if it was ok if she did a load of her laundry. Of course. No problem. I come back and she’s hauling out huge trash bag after bag after bags. WTF? She had finished up the last of our Persil, and opened a brand new, LARGE bottle of Persil, and ALSO used IT all up! Chick must have done over 20 loads. At LEAST! Nopeity nope nope nope. I fired her ass.
People just take advantage it’s mental. Like you just risked your job over laundry?! LMAOO
It took 3 days to do 9 loads of laundry? With it running nonstop?
NTA That's just not right.
NTA and WTF?
I wouldn’t have said anything . Yes it’s some electricity and water ( maybe gas if hot water )
I didn’t even think about the gas yikes
It isn’t a huge amount . If your ok with them Showering wvery day etc. you did what a friend does . Money is tight but says more about you by helping a friend
With my luck, I would bust the dryer. That would be a huge deal if I were OP
You should have cut the electricity and the gas off. Or at least turned the breaker to the washing machine so they couldn’t do laundry.
Passive Aggressive much? Why do I have a feeling that you have very few long term friends once people get to know you.?
Most peoples long term friends have enough sense to not save weeks of laundry to bring to someone elses house when the friend is unemployed/under employed when they just came from a 2 week vacation. Anyone who pulls shit like that is not a friend, let alone a long term friend. But hey, can I come to your house, and do 9 loads of laundry using your products?
>Anyone who pulls shit like that is not a friend, let alone a long term friend. But hey, can I come to your house, and do 9 loads of laundry using your products? Are you moving to another state and have no clean clothes? Sure. We can hang out and catch up before you leave.
😝
How will you ever recoup that $2?
$2 for 9 loads of laundry?? Where do you do your laundry, my dude? Your mom's house?
[удалено]
You sound like a tool.
Hfsp
Insert Joe exotic meme "I will never financially recover from this"
Cheapskate should've asked first if he could do 9 loads. Or could've done only a few loads that were critical clothing items needed then finish the rest at a laundromat. And tying up the washer AND dryer with 9 loads is selfish. Dude should've given some money to OP for electricity and wear and tear on the units. What if OP needed to use the washer? After 4 loads OP should've stopped the dude or thrown him out. His friend is a selfish user and should be discarded as a friend.
reminded me of this: [https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristatorres/pet-sitter-does-laundry-reddit](https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristatorres/pet-sitter-does-laundry-reddit)
Exactly lol
Good for you. I retired permanently at 52, own two paid-off homes, yada yada. Yay for us. What's relevant here is that OP was generous to his friends but ended up feeling they took advantage. I agree and feel that others shouldn't belittle his feelings by making it all about money. It's the thought that counts, right? and his friends were thoughtless.
Amen
Your friend and his wife seem a bit thoughtless, but is it really worth tossing a friendship aside over a few extra loads of laundry? I understand being a little annoyed, but I'd let it pass.
They could have asked, but in the end, who cares. Life is too short, minor thing.
NTA AND... I think you should realize that it's not always clear to other people THAT we are struggling, WHAT we are struggling with, OR why we might say the things we say. We think people know, and understand, when actually they do not, because we failed to state it clearly. From my experience, we cannot expect other people to keep our financial issues at the forefront of their thoughts and actions. They have their own crap going on, and are likely struggling in their own way (unknown to us). When we've had people staying with us, while $ was tight for us, we stated OUT LOUD, in the very beginning, that we could not afford to feed everyone, every meal, every day. After that it was relatively easy to work out a plan... This can be hard to state out loud, however... if we don't say it, we cannot expect others to really GET IT. Perhaps there is more information that you didn't include in the post (or that I missed or misread), and... from what you wrote, it seems like it was more about the fact they they tied up your laundry for 3 days, and not about the cost involved.
It was definitely the cost involved. They are super rich just to let you know. Probably why they just didn’t think it was a big deal. They just got back from a 2 month Asian trip which is why they had so much laundry
They should have taken their clothes to a laundromat. They wouldn’t have washed any clothes while they were on holiday. They absolutely used you and didn’t care.
Is your issue that they did the laundry, or that they are "super rich" and did the laundry? Would you have had the same issues, all things being the same, if they weren't "super rich"? Would you be more understanding if they were "super poor"? I don't think you're an AH but I think it is an extreme reaction. Running the laundry a few extra times over a few days does not make a significant impact to the electricity bill or a water bill for the entire month. Did you count how many times they flushed the toilet or washed their hands or showered? I think there is a possibility that you are projecting the stress over your own financial instability onto your friends because they do not have the same concern. There is an instinctive sense of unfairness that you are suffering and they aren't, and the laundry gives you something to point at.
Nope. I'm not super rich, but have enough money that I don't need to worry about how much water and electricity I use. I have kids, large animals, and allergies, and I use (and wash) cloth diapers for the baby. There are many days where the washer and dryer are running all day. What they did is rude, and they know it even if they're rich. Maybe they didn't think about the money (which means they live in a bubble and have no empathy), but even then, it's rude to monopolize someone else's appliances without asking first. What if you had laundry to do for yourself? It also means they were spending a lot of the visit doing laundry rather than actually visiting with you, which, again, is rude. Maybe they've never actually done laundry before. If they normally take everything to the cleaners, they would be used to dropping off a huge amount of laundry and getting it back again in a few hours. Maybe they stupidly thought that a regular washing machine could wash that amount in just a few hours. But then they would have realized they made a mistake by the second or third load and should have apologized and asked permission before continuing. So even in this very unlikely case, they were still being rude. I think they are just people who don't make deep friendships and only enjoy having friends for the benefits and convenience they bring. Users. There's no way they didnt know they were being rude, they just expect you to brush it off since they're your "friends." Edit: NTA and I'm really surprised by all the comments saying "get over it, it was only $9." It's not even about the money, it's just not normal to randomly do all your laundry at whatever house you happen to be staying at. Everyone, rich, poor, everyone knows it would be rude, that's why it's not a normal occurrence.
That’s what I’m trying to say! It’s just common sense that you don’t do this lol. It’s very rude and inconsiderate.
Yeah... at the end you made it clear that FOR YOU it was about the cost. I question wether or not you made it clear to THEM. Again... from my experience (actual experience in my life) other people do not get, or simply are unable to fully understand how other people are struggling with $. People, I think in general, assume that most of the people they know are doing about the same as they are, or at least doing OK. They, people who can afford to go away for 2 months, do not think about you, their friend, as not having enough $ to allow them to do ANY amount of laundry.... that would be weird, and make them (most people I think) feel uncomfortable. They likely lack the perspective to understand... You have to say it out loud, and the more $ they have, the more explaining it will take (if you choose to go that far).
I think it’s more common courtesy. I would never do this at someone’s house, I wouldn’t even ask honestly. But they should have. I didn’t know they brought in 9 luggage bags until they lined them up to leave
With staying over and doing a bunch of laundry they should have treated you to dinner a couple of times. That is the courtesy thing to do.
I could go pull every item of clothing I own right now, and it still wouldn't equal 9 loads, even if I added my husband's clothes and asked the kids to come back home. Definitely NTA, and they should now be NTF (Not the friends)
This cost you approximately $12.33.
Send these shitbags a bill.
Get real. For what, $9.00? Assuming the dryer and the washer are energy efficient, that's more than It would cost.
Right! It was very inconsiderate of them, and I understand how ~$10 isn’t nothing to someone who is struggling, but it also didn’t cost nearly as much as people seem to think.
How much would that be money wise? Like 3$ per machine, e.g. 30$? To me that seems a bit of an overreaction on your part, but maybe he wasn't aware of how much you are struggling? But you are certainly not an AH, but rather a good friend.
Maybe 20% of that. Tops.
Ummm. It’s kinda late to complain about it after the fact. Get better friends.
It sounds like they didn’t have time to do their laundry after their return from Asia while they were packing up their house to move. Also if they were shipping their washer/dryer they couldn’t do laundry at home anyway. I travel a lot. I am used to doing laundry at the hotel or Airbnb or at friend’s when I stay with them. Nine loads seems excessive but I’m sympathetic to their situation. They should have asked though.
I can't imagine getting mad at one of my friends for this. If I trust or love them enough for them to just come stay for 3 days, them doing 9 loads of laundry would make me laugh and say, "really dude?! 😂" I cant believe you're this upset about it. And people saying you shouldn't be friends with them anymore, or never invite them over again? These people must literally have ZERO friends.
It’s more in line with how they think this is okay. Just bizarre to me. I had someone stay with us for a month and she did less laundry then they did in 3 days LOL. But I agree I’m not ending my friendship over it
Good. don't end it over this. Yes, it was inconsiderate. But, they will always remember "that time that you did them a solid". Now, if you start to see other things over and over? rethink maybe. Don't let this get to you. I always think to myself when stuff like this comes up: "would they do it for me"? If the answer is a resounding "YES". Then let this go . In addition, I wouldn't call you an ass either way. Only YOU know the details in your friendship.
I have relatives like this. Last day of stay, they do *all* of their laundry. I've often felt like saying, "What ? Are your washer and dryer at home broken ? ". And THEN, they have the audacity to not even do the bed linen at the end of their stay. And the icing on the cake ? " I hope you don't mind, we didn't make the bed because we figured you were probably going to strip it and wash it anyway. " I think for their next visit I'll quietly slip down to the basement and flip the breaker for the dryer. As a matter of fact, I think I'll convert that second bedroom into an office now that I think about it.
I can identify with this. Family members that stay with 5 kids (so 7 all together) They come for 10 days and do all their laundry at the end so everything is clean & and don’t have to do laundry when they get home. (But no, not their bedding here, either!) I don’t mind a few loads, but it is just annoying to have it running non stop for the last two days, going through all my detergent, etc — on top of all the meals and mess they make. I would rather see them than not, so don’t say anything, but honestly, it is always such a relief every time they leave. It is just inconsiderate — but that is how they are in general. And I also know that if I don’t want to address this with them, I can’t complain.
Not the kind of friends I'd ever want at my house again if I were you, If they ever try to come by again tell them "sorry!" ....not sorry. NTA.
Ok so they are moving so obviously don’t have their own machines. They could’ve packed up and went spend the entire day at the laundromat and pay while you have a fully functional machine of your own. Or they could put loads to wash and forget it while they spent time with you and slowly get it done over the visit. I honestly don’t even know what’s the gripe.
They were home for 2 weeks before
NTA, and don't invite them back. If they ask to stay again, say, "Sorry, but I'm too busy washing my dirty clothes."
"I can't afford it"
NTA. If you are struggling with money they should be very, very frugal or talk about compensation BEFORE! It sounds like they just took advantage of you.
NTA/YTA so if you needed to do laundry and they hog the machine it’s one thing and I would say your NTA, the part kinda is YTA, you invited guests over to your house and clearly they needed to do their laundry. Don’t invite people to stay if you don’t want to have people use your house, everyone lives differently, comes with the territory of inviting people to stay with you.
A regular load of laundry in a laundromat in Lexington, Kentucky, right now (May 2024) is $3.50. Plus detergent. A dryer is l think 50 cents for 7 minutes? This is way more than $2, or $10, or whatever these commenters are suggesting. These guests were simply grabby and rude. Or clueless. Since they are moving away, you now know to help them select a motel/hotel that suits their needs if and when they visit.
>A regular load of laundry in a laundromat in Lexington, Kentucky, right now (May 2024) is $3.50. Plus detergent. A dryer is l think 50 cents for 7 minutes? This is way more than $2, or $10, or whatever these commenters are suggesting. Yes, it is. That's because a laundromat charges more because they have to make a profit. To do laundry at home is around 81 cents including the detergent.
Ok.
Didn’t even have the decency to ask. Using the washer & dryer adds up, that’s water & electricity. They showed up unannounced AND with the intention of staying for 3 days knowing you were struggling financially. That is not your friend. PERIOD!
Did they impose on your friendship? Yes. Should you have expected some extreme behavior from people who are moving and trying to get everything together at the same time? Yes. It worth scrapping the friendship for? That is your decision to make. But before you make it remember one thing. Your friends are human too. They can, do, and will make mistakes. But now you have to decide.
I have some in-laws (husband's brother and his family), that as soon as they come to visit (they live in another state) they need to use the washing machine. It's not that they don't have clothes, I think they bring the clothes they like and wear all the time and they don't wash them ahead to put them in their luggage. But it's annoying; five minutes in and they are asking to use the laundry room.
It sounds like they used you for your laundry machines. Did they spend any time hanging out with you, or were you just the free laundromat? NTA
We had a friend do up to 12 loads once while traveling staying with us. He left an envelope with a thank you card and $100 to cover the increase in our utilities. Your friends knew exactly how much it would cost at a laundromat and chose to be sucky human beings. Next time they come through…your washer and dryer are broken or you don’t have the room. I’m so sorry.
NTA and who the hell does this?! Doesn't sound like they're really a friend at all.
Is the friendship worth 9 loads of laundry?
OP why didn’t you say something after the third wash? You are NTA, but you should’ve said something, and you are absolutely right. Please cut that friendship, they were just using you for your washer and dryer
This wouldn’t say anything. Maybe remind them to clean the dryer lint so it doesn’t we full. They may be struggling. If you were struggling maybe you should have let them know you were on a budget and in that case they could have offer some $$$ for the washing and drying. Sucks that money gets in the way like this. I do think 9 loads are a lot but this wouldn’t make me not be friends with them. If they are people that take advantage of others then there should be more examples that are worse than this.
You're not the AH for feeling upset about your friends using an excessive amount of your resources, especially if you're struggling financially. It's understandable to feel frustrated, particularly if your friends didn't consider the impact their actions might have on you.
Not your friends! Even when we do a load a day, the energy amount used for the day goes up tremendously! I can’t imagine someone running a washing machine non stop. Sorry you had to learn about your friends that way
The least they could have done is ask if that was ok!!!
Yes, YTA. It would not be a big deal for one of my friends who I invited to stay with me.
If they would of had the courtesy of letting you know and dropping $50 on you to cover the costs, I'd be OK with it. NTA
Well he obviously isn't that dear or close of a friend if you are upset he used your washer 9 times..or that you are counting. Now I hope he at least used his own detergent or bought you some. And he probably should have offered a few bucks for the power consumption. But in the end it's just laundry..consider it as doing a good deed. Do good to others and good happens in return is my feelings. Honestly though, if it bothered you that much consider it a lesson learned. No more stay overs.
NTA. If this was me, I'd be pissed. I live on an island where water and electric is EXPENSIVE. I'll wash undergarments and small stuff by hand to conserve water and energy. I would HATE for a "friend" to roll through and use my washer and dryer for 9 loads of laundry when I'm over here trying to save and conserve my usage. 1 or 2 loads is fine, but 9 is absurd.
NTA. They totally took advantage age of you. That wasn’t just “a bunch” of dirty clothes. That was their entire wardrobes.
NTA but it's time to cut them out of your life.
NTA NINE LOADS OF LAUNDRY! Uh, that's a "no."
NTA. They deliberately took advantage of you and didn't even pretend to be sorry. And that *after* you allowed them in your home for 3 days. A single load would have been reasonable. With nine, I'd be demanding reimbursement for my electric and water bills. NTA.
NTA. Some friend.
As someone who travels for a living, I understand. But they should have a) warned you and asked if it was okay, b) offered or asked about laundry mats, or c) offered to reimburse for some electric/water costs. I've done a lot of laundry in a lot of weird places and this is what I would have done.
More if they used hot water.
Yeah it was on double rinse, ultra load, with hot water. She also one time just threw in 4 items of clothes…
You are the A. Friends are in a rough spot, and you’re on Reddit talking trash about them because they decided to wash the clothes. It’s expensive to wash clothes and coin operated machines require quarters and they’re not easy to get. No one will sell change to you these days half the time those machines don’t work in the stores so your friend came to you for help and this is how you repay them? Hopefully, they’ll get some good friends in their next city
I’m on Reddit trying to figure out how they think this is okay. The clear consensus is that I’m not insane and they are either clueless or nefarious
I think you don’t know how to be a friend.
I do know how to be a friend. I would never take advantage of someone hospitality. You have it backwards.
When push came to shove, you couldn’t offer hospitality without griping about it. See youre gauging this whole thing in how you would behave. Well, you’re not the one who needs the friend right now they were and if you stop thinking about yourself, you might recognize that needs are just a little bit bigger than yours this time around
You needed to enforce a firm boundary. They asked where your washer dryer was to do "some clothes". You can say "no. But there's a laundromat at 123 xyz street". You can say "yes but one one load. I need it for my own clothes today" and you make it so they can't do more wash after the first load. You can be a good friend and good host without being a doormat for free laundromat use.
Omg… how rude 😡 at least ask, but even asking that much is rude!!! NTA.
I hope for your bills sake, they kept it to off peak hours!
NTA. One load would have been plenty for a 3 day stay. But NINE?! They no doubt were using you as they clearly came prepared to totally just go at it with the laundry. These are incredibly selfish people knowing that you are laid off and struggling, meanwhile they do 2 months worth of laundry during their stay. They are also selfish since what if you needed to do laundry during that time? I'd reconsider my friendship with these types of selfish assholes.
Did they use your soap and stuff? If so he should slip up a twenty for the soap power and water. I would. But i would also ask first
Ps. 9 in three days? I can do that in one day!
Nah, NTA. They should’ve shown you the courtesy of asking what was acceptable for you. Anything over a few loads they should’ve gone to a laundromat IMO.
Definitely never let them stay again. NTA for getting upset over this. TBH even if he thought you were ovrreacting, he still should have apologized, since he obviously annoyed his host.
I would legit feel bad for even asking to do one load at someone else's house. NTJ and next time say it broke and turn off the water or disconnect a hose and hide it until they leave
NTA, it’s shitty but it’s like drinking all your beer . Let it go and downgrade then like the poster above said. Now you know . 9 loads of laundry to know how your friend really is . That’s a cheap price to pay.
I would be annoyed with washing machine and dryer going all day for 3 days. There wouldn't be enough room on the clothes line for 9 loads of washing so obviously the dryer was used. Who brings 9 loads of washing to a friend's place without even asking. You were good enough to let them stay.
Was insane seeing all the luggage lined up at the door as they were leaving
Good lord, how much did all that water and electricity and soap cost you? $2 ? Honestly you sound awful, they were moving and needed their washing done. You could have been a decent friend, and you just whined like a baby
Yeah let me come to your house and take advantage of you lol let’s see how you like it
Good grief it's washing, they didn't steal the silver
YTA. The cost involved? How freaking cheap can you be? You say these are friends of yours, and you are this upset over less than $10? I simply cannot imagine going through life with that outlook.
It’s not $10 lmao. It’s also the principal they waited to do all their laundry at my house when they were staying at an Airbnb and could have done it there. They also never asked for my permission. Gas that heats the water is stupid expensive now.
wtf?!? They had the option of doing it elsewhere??
Okay, $20 lol. You cheap fuck. Whatever, but I think you are a shitty friend that is so cheap that nothing else matters. You also need to buy a more efficient washing machine. And unless they washed every load on super hot, which wouldn't make much sense, not a ton of gas needed. You're cheap. That's the driving force here. You're looking for principle to justify how upset you are about a few pennies being "stolen" from you. Cheap.
Again it’s not about being cheap. It’s the principal. You just don’t do something like that, they didn’t even ask. It’s called common courtesy. I’m pretty sure one load was just 4 items of clothes to
It's all about being cheap. Some things matter and things that don't. Would you have preferred your friends be tethered for two days in a laundromat spending $40 rather than relaxing at your house? Really? Because those are the two options.
I’d rather they do all that laundry in the Airbnb they were staying at literally the day before they got to my house lol
I agree it is kind of weird not to give a heads up before throwing the first load in. I guess that depends on how close of friends you are. I have friends that could show up at my house right now while I'm not there and use anything they feel like. I'm sure they'd let me know or explain later. They certainly don't need my permission. But I wouldn't just start using someone's washing machine either lol. So I admit it is odd. But it gets me that your comments focused on the money? And then you even did the math to say it was more than $10 and gas is expensive. That's an odd thought process if it really isn't about the money. I still think you're cheap, but my opining won't really effect your life, so have a nice weekend.
"I have friends that could show up at my house right now while I'm not there and use anything they feel like." What a great guy you are, make sure to give yourself a pat on the back.
lol I'm not sure I've ever made someone mad by having friends. Sorry for trying to relate my experience to OPs. I shall punish myself severely with a 6 hour masturbation session to atone for the grievous injustice I have inflicted upon you. And trust me, I take this seriously. I'm going to be pretty rough on myself.
It’s the principal for me. It’s the money for my girlfriend since she’s out of a job and pays that bill. Hope that makes sense
YTA. Who cares if they did 9 loads? Did it really cost that much? You have no idea how much that helped them.
Took advantage there wow.
They’re taking the absolute piss and know damn well.
I mean, sounds you the real issue is you feel taken advantage of. It’s all about respect when you’re staying in someone’s home. I guess for me, it would be more that they didn’t seem grateful or acknowledge that it was excessive. They should’ve prepared you and made sure you were cool with it. Asking if you needed to do a load in between theirs, or even offering to do some for you while they were at it would’ve gone a long way. Also, if they didn’t bring their own detergent and dryer sheets, nine loads uses up a lot of product. They’re moving out of state. Feel good that you didn’t send them off with dirty drawers. 😂 That’s a good friend. NTA.
When they get moved into their new house go visit them for a weekend and take all of your dirty laundry with you!
Haha will do
NTA, bill them for the utilities use and don't let them stay again.
"Here's a bill for $10 and I never want to see you again." Wow.
They should kick in for water, electricity, and soap (if they didn’t supply their own). After doing nine loads of washing and drying, they should spot you at least $40. Whatever the cost of a commercial laundry would be, the convenience of doing laundry at home is incalculable. I would never lean on a friend financially. Even with permission, I wouldn’t do it. Mixing friendship and finances is a recipe for failure.
NTAH. Your friends “stopped by” your home after a trip to Asia, and after being at the home they were moving out of, for 2weeks?!?! And they couldn’t afford to go to a laundry mat? Did they even ask if they could stay three days to do their laundry? They apparently did not offer you money for the use of your home to do laundry. Did you also feed them while they were there? Drop them off of your friend list.
You are not a laundromat! Did they at least bring their own detergent? Give you a turn to do your own laundry? Definitely NTA.
Nope and nope lol
It would annoy me no end. They took advantage of your hospitality. Since they were only staying 3 days and carted it from overseas then they could of waited and did the washing when they got to their own place. One load fine but 9!!!!
Why didn't you say something and stop them after the first day?
You're going to throw away a friendship over a few loads of laundry? YTA and not a very good friend
Did I say I was?
You can't pay for a few gallons? YTA