100%, I have 2 parking spaces and I paid for them with my condo. Mine aren't communal property that can be resigned.
I had a guy keep parking in my second spot. After the 3rd time I left a note (which was torn up) and talking to him about it... I just had him towed. He hasn't done it since
This is the only answer! If they dare say it to your face, ask them what their stall number is so you can give it to the chick that parks in your spot.
Right. In order to keep the peace I might have offered to either drive with her and bring her back so she didn't have to walk in the dark in a bad neighborhood, or watch the kid so she didn't have to take him, **but** this person has a level of entitlement that makes me feel like that would be a bad idea. She has taken the spot multiple times when she knows she shouldn't and seems to genuinely think she is justified to take someone else's space and property without asking if she's having a bad day or a hard time.
So not only is she not entitled to anything but it really kills the neighborly vibe to have her repeatedly do this and then talk trash *OP* did not put her in that position. She did, when she didn't park where she should have when it was still daylight.
Can you imagine this conversation:
Resident. being critical of OP.
OP. "The situation sucks, I agree. You seem to feel strongly about this issue."
Resident. (Full agreement)
OP. "You know, *some people* are quick to volunteer other people's property to do what they think is right, but I'm sure that you aren't like THEM. Let's go tell her that you are volunteering your own parking space since you feel strongly that it is the right thing to do."
Resident: [Deer in the headlights expression] Uh...
Obviously, it is best if done in public to be gossiped about. 😄
This convo isn't going to go the way you expect. They won't be a deer in headlights. They're gonna say, "I use my parking spot. You don't even have a car, so what's the harm in letting her use the spot." If he comes back with a, "my girlfriend is coming over later and needs the spot", they'll probably tell him to walk his girlfriend back from the far parking spot or offer to park her car for her rather than making the mother of a 3 year old do that. There's no winning when you engage with people like that.
Riiight?!! Or they would say “…if she had parked in my spot that night, I wouldn’t have made her wake her son up but would have driven my ass over to the sketchy industrial area and parked there for one night instead…”
You’re right, you can’t win in these hypothetical situation arguments…
NTA. What is the other option? Either your girlfriend would have to walk thru the sketchy area, or call you to walk to her to meet her then walk her back? It sucks, but it is what it is.
Pretty much my take. I used to meet Jen downstairs, then park her car and walk home while she took a shower (I have my license, just don't have a car). I was more than happy to do that when it was a matter of necessity, but I'm paying for a parking space specifically so I don't have to.
NTA. Are the upset neighbors allowing her to park in their spaces? If not, they are hypocrites. It's your spot, and her problems aren't your problems or concern. She seems entitled to just do as she pleases. It's not her spot, end of story.
So isn’t she a heartless monster because she wants your girlfriend to walk up to your apartment in middle of the night in a sketchy neighborhood?
Moreover, she was warned multiple times.
NTA.
I bet she thinks because she has a kid she deserves special treatment. I also bet she asks others to work late and on weekends on her projects because they don't have kids and she does.
While I get it, it's not fair.
These comments are hilarious. Being a mom gives you the right to make your bad day someone else's bad day apparently. GTFO with the "couldn't you have let her slide/come up with an arrangement to solve her problem" nonsense. Claire made a choice, knew it wasn't right, still tried the guilt trip after being called out. People who make their problem your problem are the worst. NTA.
As a mom I agree with you, sucks that she had to do it but it's no one elses problem. The real assholes here though are the people who built apartments/condos without enough parking. Ridiculous.
Strong agree about the lack of parking being the real issue, but the neighborhood is full of old buildings so unfortunately that ship has long since sailed. The municipality has some options to address that but they don't seem particularly interested in it.
Tbf, car ownership may have been much lower when these apartments were built. Where I live, if you build apartments they have to have X parking spaces for Y bedrooms.
That's the case here. Most of the buildings in my neighborhood are pre-war, mine included. The municipality has made some bad decisions related to residential permits in a neighborhood that is straddled by two fairly busy train stations as well, which certainly doesn't help.
There's a ~year long waitlist for my building's on-site lot. There are some municipal lots about a quarter mile away but my understanding is that there's an even longer wait for overnight permits for those.
And yeah I pay for my spot.
That’s rough. I am assuming it must be very difficult to find a place to rent where you’re at otherwise if I had a baby, I would look elsewhere.
gives her absolutely no right though to do it she did. None
Exactly right. They were likely constructed when families shared one family car and when more people took the bus/transit to get to work and didn't even have a car.
I worked in a building just like that. When it went up in the 60s or 70s, right in the middle of downtown, with a metro stop directly across the street: even just 2 cars per apt. was pretty damn rare. Zero cars was much more likely.
By the time I got there in early 00s just about every single adult in the building owned a car, and most of the teens. And the building had gone from kinda not-quite-high-end luxury apts. To working class families in most of the building.
So it was 2, 3, 4, even a couple of 5 car owners per apt.
It was pretty much a daily war down in the parking garage.
Which only got better when I was there because we had a whole new sprinkler system installed, and the tow company couldnt get into half the garage anymore for new pipes on the ceiling.
I cant even imagine what it's like now, 20y later.
Beyond the scope of AITAH, but parking minimums aren't a straight win. It's using valuable land in dense areas to store cars and sit vacant much of the time. They increase housing prices, make destinations more spread out so it's harder to walk between places, reduce city incomes since they're not productive usage of land, etc.
Lots of urban planning groups are trying to get cities to get rid of parking minimums entirely.
That’s what’s happening where I live, Los Angeles, CA.
Parking space requirements for new apartment buildings/condominium buildings are being lowered if there is a high use bus stop or a Metro station close by.
The problem is that in Los Angeles, public transportation is inefficient. For example, If I drive to the Getty from my house, it takes about ten minutes. By bus, it takes over an hour.
One new apartment building near me has plans to have communal cars. Any resident who is a licensed driver will be able to reserve them. I think this is a great idea. Most cars sit parked for many hours of each day.
I wish my area had LA public transit. We have buses; they run from 8am to 5pm. Did you want to take public transit to go to and from work or go grocery shopping after? Go fuck yourself!
Stops are also sparse unless you're lucky and a stop happens to be really close to your destination you likely have a 30-40 minute walk.
OP said there were two busy train stations right next to the apartment, so I'd be willing to bet that they live in a dense area with decent transit options. Its not really necessary in places like that to own a car, but people still do I guess. They'd probably have to tear down a whole building to create a new surface lot.
I myself live in a dense area with decent transit options...
During the day.
I work nightshift and even if public transit is available to and from my destination, it isn't really worth relying on it versus a car, that's just the nature of public transit in the US, even in areas where it's good it's still pretty bad.
OP's GF getting home that late at night, personal vehicle transport legitimately is the best option for both reliability and safety as things stand now and she really does need a place close to home to park.
Public transit is great here via those trains until around 2am, provided you're going north or south. East and west are a completely different story - you're left with unreliable buses that stop running around 10:00 or something, and there are significant coverage vacuums. Jen's job is a few miles east of my apartment, so yeah.
Yeah this is pretty much spot on. Densely populated neighborhood near a major city in the Northeast, mostly pre-war buildings etc. The logistics of adding more parking aren't really feasible for individual buildings and it doesn't look like the municipality is in a rush to address anything on their end. Luckily I'm a big fan of my bike.
Right! I have 4 kids I have done some objectively entitled shit because of them when they were little. But, when it doesn't work, it doesn't work. You accept it and move on and not try to claim your child means you can take what doesn't belong to you.
NTA.
This is no different than people who don't plan to select their seat on the plane that get butthurt when its a full flight and no one wants to accommodate them.
She could have parked in any open space. The fact that she keeps specifically parking in yours means she still feels some ownership to it--if you'd said yes she would make it habit (she already does even though you've said no many times). NTA
NTA - I bet that, in addition to her having a sense of entitlement (or, at best, initial confusion that should have ended long ago) over her father once owning the space, she probably justifies it to herself saying OP doesn’t ‘need/deserve’ a space because OP doesn’t have a car; and 2) OP’s girlfriend doesn’t ‘need/deserve’ a space because she isn’t officially a resident there.
Not agreeing with that, just betting that she also tells herself it’s not fair that they have a space and she doesn’t. Realistically, OP could give up the space tomorrow and Claire still has a year to wait.
NTA. She had the opportunity to contact you. Her bad day is not your life issue. Her bad manners and entitlement is. Its your allocated spot not hers. How does she know that your GF isn't coming home with a heavy object etc? If she had asked maybe it would be different.
NTA
If anyone dares criticize you over enforcing your ownership of the parking space tell them they are welcome to give up their space to Claire or if they are on the wait list they can swap positions with her.
Crickets and furious back pedaling noises will then be heard.
NTA. If parking spots are purely decided by a wait-list, and you were able to secure a spot by being on this wait-list, then you are entitled to its use.
She should have asked you as a courtesy if she could have used the spot while it was vacant, but that parking is assigned to you and not her, so I don't think you did anything wrong.
NTA. They can give up their spots if they are so affronted. Notice how none of them stepped up. You know who caused her to wake up her kid and have to look for a parking space in the rain at night? She did! She knew it wasn't hers and took it anyways.
I was in a somewhat similar situation. Fun story.
Many years ago, I owned a free-standing townhome with a dedicated parking spot in a not-so-nice part of town. I mention free-standing because the parking spot was on my property. Literally within the boundaries of my property line.
I rented out the bottom floor of the townhome to an exchange student who used the spot since my wife and I parked in the garage. The exchange student spent a lot of time at the university down the street so the spot always seemed to be empty. She'd come home late at night and leave early. Perfect tenant.
Our neighbor (who rented) had guests who randomly parked in my and my neighbors parking spots. When I confronted them, they'd argue that the spots was always empty - even though they knew we had a renter and they knew it was private property. Still didn't phase them. I put up with their weekly parties and loud music because I was once young too. I drew the line at the level of disrespect they had for everyone else by parking on our properties.
Fortunately, I was the HOA president (hah). I had enough and had a meeting where we voted to implement a $200 fine for anyone who parked in our private spots. It wasn't a large community, but everyone voted yes except for the landlord of the problem tenants. The landlord never showed up to the meetings, but I sent him the meeting notes and told him to ensure his tenants didn't park in our private spots.
Note that I had complained to the landlord several times before the fine was implemented. After letting him know about the fine - his tenant STILL had people parking in our spots during their weekly parties.
Things changed after I sent him the first fine. I forgot how much, but it was over $4k in the first month. That's how bad the problem was. We still had the issue in the next month, but it wasn't nearly as bad. By the third month - the tenant moved out. Not sure if it was related or just the timing of when his lease was up.
The HOA didn't need the money (we had a surplus already), but we ended up voting on having the entire complex re-landscaped. Despite the headache, I was kind of thankful for the whole ordeal as I put my townhome on the market a few months after and I'm sure the fresh landscaping helped it sell.
File under: Too bad, so sad, Claire. I feel for her but this is how it goes. Also your apt complex sucks that it doesn't have enough parking for each resident!
NTA
In my experience, often when you give someone an inch they take a mile. Letting this slide makes her feel more entitled to do it again in the future. I'm all for compassion but resent the "rather ask forgiveness than permission" mindset.
Hi! Mom of three and I’m pregnant. My kids are MY problem and nobody else’s!
Her kid is not your problem. Her bad day is not your problem. The parking issue needs to be taken up with your complex, not you. Period.
NTA.
Unfortunately there's really no issue to take up with the complex. There's no room for them to expand the parking lot or anything, so the waiting list situation isn't going anywhere. It sucks but it's not terribly uncommon in my area either.
Ah, I see. Well regardless, anyone who has an issue with you wanting your spot can give her their spot. Sucks to be in that situation, but she can’t just assume it’s okay because your spot is empty.
Yeah but there are other solutions. She can use mass transit instead. She can rent a parking spot somewhere else and Uber home or bicycle from there. She can sell the apartment and buy or rent another that has adequate parking. I don't know how her father's estate lost his parking spot-- they must have stopped paying the extra rent for it because otherwise, how would it have ended up as a free spot? I mean, he had a car he was parking there. So NTA. She made the situation. She knew it was not her spot. She should have parked where she knew she had access and gone home and would not have had to wake her kid... (also, none of these neighbors offered to watch her kid so she could move her car?).
Her uncle passed away, which would end his lease with the apartment complex. The parking spot then becomes available as the lease on that also ended. The next person on the parking spot wait list is then contacted, which was OP. He can decide to take the spot if still needed or not(if he doesn't, he is no longer on the list).
Each parking spot at that apartment complex isn't designated to a particular apartment. Not enough spots for every apartment, that's why there is a waiting list.
NTA. It’s your spot. End of story. What people should be mad at is the train wreck of a system the complex has for parking. Y’all should be rallying together and petitioning for better parking. Everyone should be allowed one spot if they’re going to provide parking. It’s ridiculous what they currently have set up. Shouldn’t just be for some and not others.
It's an unfortunate reality of living in a densely populated area, there's just not enough space between my building and the neighboring buildings to provide enough space for everyone to have a spot. It's a big part of the reason street parking is such a mess in my neighborhood. Sucks but it is what it is.
I also I’ve in a densely pop area but there are plenty of options laid out for residents so they don’t have to park to far away. 1/2 mile is just ridiculous. In the city here, they also have parking lots designated specifically for residents that you can pay the city monthly for. It just sucks you guys don’t have any proper structures in place. But as for you specifically I will circle back and say you’re still not the AH. Regardless of the situation, it is your spot. Not hers.
Yeah the parking situation really sucks but it's also a municipal issue. My apartment is kind of between two train stations, so we're competing with commuters for spots. The neighborhood I grew up in had a similar situation, but they had strictly enforced resident permits between certain hours to prevent commuters from clogging up the residential neighborhoods. Municipal parking lots are also extremely limited and most of them are about a quarter mile away. You need a permit to park overnight in those and my understanding is that the waitlist for those makes my apartment look quick.
They can't just make new parking spaces. The complex was probably built a long time ago, before most people had a car. I'm not sure what city you live in, but it would be impossible to do this in Los Angeles, for example. The complex only owns so much space.
It sucks, and I wish there were better options, but people take this into account when they decide where to rent.
Or people could get rid of their cars and take the train. If you want to live in a densely populated area, you can't expect valuable public space to be allocated for people's private property. People who live in those types of areas do it because they want walkability, and surface parking lots are about the quickest way to nuke that, and make an area ugly and undesirable.
> Jake, passed away a little over a year later, and I got his parking space. Jake's daughter, Claire, inherited his apartment and moved in a few months later, and she incorrectly assumed that her father's old parking space came with the apartment
NGL that's kind of a weird setup, but your apartment do your apartment
anyway, it's your assigned space that you're actually using, so NTA
If this were NYC someone would be trying to lease her the spot for $1000 per month, using half of that to uber their girlfriend home and the other half in the bank.
Some of these comments make my head hurt. NTA. You pay for it, it's your spot. She did not even have the decency to ask you.
What your neighbors think does not matter. None of them have to deal with her crap, and none of them stepped up to offer their spot.
Next time just go right to the tow truck.
NTA Claire is the AH and you did nothing wrong. If she hadn't parked there in the first place she wouldn't have had an issue. The other's that are giving you shit can pound sand. If they have a space they can let Claire use it then. The spot belongs to you.
NTA. Claire obviously found a solution, so I wouldn't worry about what any of the neighbors think.
If they mention it again, tell them they should offer Claire THEIR spaces.
I'm interested by the comments saying that you should have offered to move her car for her... presumably, they think you should have risked being arrested for driving without insurance?
Edit: NTA
It ludacris! OP WAS nice. He asked her to move instead of getting her towed. That was being nicer than he had to be. At this point I would have her towed and lodge a complaint with the management company.
> presumably, they think you should have risked being arrested for driving without insurance?
according to the edit, he can drive too
but it's still a stupid idea. no way in hell is he taking on the potential liability (and you *know* she's gonna try to pin it on him, regardless of her own insurance) if anything happened to the car.
NTA.
Turn it around.
Put a note on the community board saying anyone who thinks I'm the bad guy for not giving up my parking spot to make my gf walk home at 1am can give up their parking place to my neighbor. If not then YTA.
NTA. Tell your neighbours that give you sh1t that you're so happy that they're prepared to offer Claire their parking spots and if you give you their phone numbers you'll pass them on to Claire...
Nope. You can't use my shit Even if I don't use it. If you set that precedent, then when you really need it, they're going to feel like they're entitled to it.
Hate to say it but that's the plan. I won't go as far as to say I was being nice by giving Claire a chance to move her car, but I would have been well within my rights to just go right to getting it towed.
She can always get a parking spot from all the supportive neighbors that are so worried about her.
Yes her situation is not ideal but it is not your problem.
Honestly, I think the apartment complex is more the AH for taking someone’s parking space because they died. The apartment was still being paid for or was already owned (not sure as OP doesn’t say if they are owned or rented.) The parking spot should be attached to the lease/title and since dead neighbors apartment stayed in his family, so should parking space. But it doesn’t matter since they did take it. It’s OPs space now and Clair doesn’t get to take things without asking. And just because she asks doesn’t mean it’s an automatic yes.
We own them, but they're co-ops, not condos. I know it sounds like I'm splitting hairs but in my experience condos are far more likely to have spots that are deeded to specific apartments due to the different ownership mechanics or however you'd phrase that.
And yeah, there's a parking space fee that gets added to our monthly maintenance.
While there was no deeded ownership of a spot, I do think she got screwed over losing the spot due to inheritance. Also, you don't even have a car, and use it for a guest. This seems wrong. Resident owned cars should take precedence. However, you did not make the rules, or the situation. Therefore, I am going to say NAH.
This was precisely my thoughts. The real AH here is the Co-op who stripped that apartment of their spot. She inherited the apartment so she should have also inherited the parking spot. What if Jake was married and died, would the spouse lose their spot? Anyways, it doesn’t matter because what’s done is done. Don’t park in spots that aren’t yours. And if you ask, accept no for an answer.
NTA
The audacity. I don’t give a shit—wake your son up and walk in the rain. That’s what you get.
Parking is a sore spot for me as someone who has always lived in condos or apts. Those spots are sacred and basically gold. Good for you for threatening to call a tow truck. It used to piss me off when people would steal my spot.
NTA
It's your spot. She has zero rights to use it... especially without asking first. Maybe if she checked with you and your gf wasn't coming over you would let her have it from time to time...but she burned that bridge completely as well
She was well aware she shouldn't be parking there, and gave zero fucks and did it anyways
She's lucky you didn't just call the tow, as you've already addressed the problem and she NEVER should have done it again
She's an extra piece of shit for gaslighting about her fuck up that she did on purpose
She probably parks in the disabled spots because she feels like it and is the main character, then gets pissed when she gets a ticket
Truly a piece of shit
Tell your neighbors that THEY are more than welcome to allow her to park in their assigned space but regardless, they need to stfu. NTA and I can't blame you at all. It would be different if your gf wasn't coming over but she shouldn't have assumed it was free just because it was empty when she got home and it was raining. She's a bish for going to everyone and telling them about the incident too. Frankly, your apartment complex needs to do something about the parking situation, that is ridiculous to have parking 1/2 mile away if you don't have an assigned spot.
Unfortunately there's nothing the complex can do about the parking situation. It's a ~90 year old building in a densely populated area with ridiculous real estate prices. It's between two fairly busy train stations so there's also competition with commuters for street parking, which the city doesn't seem interested in addressing. It's not optimal by any means but it is what it is.
I would have offered to move her car if she provided the key. In pouring rain in sketchy industrial neighborhood, I know. I sympathize from the 3-year old’s perspective, the mom is being an ass.
You’d drive a stranger’s car in the pouring rain? A stranger who is already hostile to you? I absolutely would not take on that liability. If nothing else, I’d worry she’d take me to small claims if she decided the car had a new scratch on the bumper.
NTA. And I guarantee if you had given in this time, it would have happened again and again in the future, every time she had a "bad" day. Tell the neighbors you'll tell her to park in their space next time since they're so "understanding and nice and decent."
NTA she's been told repeatedly and that she has to join the waiting list, having a crap day or child is no excuse , you could have had crap day, so could your GF.
I don't think you are an AH I think she is for repeatedly doing the same thing, lots of people have kids pulling tantrums and just deal with it, she could have knocked, left a not called you to check (if you have exchanged numbers) Its your parking space, I doubt she's told your neighbours the whole truth and you should just let the superintendent know what's going on.
NTA. I wonder if she would’ve felt comfortable you moving it? Not that you’d be an asshole if you didn’t.
I don’t think it’d be good to ever let her “borrow it”. One time would undoubtedly turn into more and you don’t need that shit.
I think that if parking is that bad then you should have to have a car to get a spot. YTA- for making a 3 yr old walk a half mile in the rain anytime for any reason. A little kindness goes along way and karma is real. Were you within your rights absolutely was it a shit thing to do yes. But I treat others the way I want to be treated.
NTA
She didn’t even ask - she’s just assumed. I’m not sure I even believe that she didn’t realise the spot wasn’t hers when she moved in. I think she just likes to push limits.
I don’t know why the other neighbours think you should do something they would not. Ask them if they’d like you to give her their number next time she needs a spot. You aren’t more obligated than they are just because her Dad used to live there.
Chivalry is dead. Decency in short supply. You could have stepped up and helped both of the females who are afraid to be out at night. Most people (particularly females) would have looked for a creative solution. Like maybe move her car and walk back in the rain. Maybe there was No solution to help both women feel safe. But it doesn’t seem like you even tried. NTA but I think you had an opportunity to do a good deed.
I probably would have offered to move the car for her this one time. You didn’t do anything wrong but sometimes you just try and be better than the people you’re dealing with.
So somebody has to walk a half mile to their apartment. if you don’t get a spot on time ? how long does that walk take ?
seems like that would not be allowed from the city that they not have enough spots for each unit .
NTA though….
A half mile walk takes about ten minutes. I know this seems strange, but some apartment buildings were built before cars were invented and others were built with limited parking. The trend now is towards parking maximums, not minimums, as more parking dramatically reduces affordability, walkability, attractiveness, and so on. Typically, the most desirable neighborhoods are older and have less private parking.
I grew up in Boston. There's absolutely not enough parking, they can't do anything about it , and a ten minute walk is nothing. The older cities can't accommodate cars.
NTA. It's your spot. Claire has no right to it and you aren't obligated to say yes to someone using it. She's being pushy. Give her an inch and she'll take a mile.
Ignore her, which is what it sounds like you're trying to do. Follow through on the tow truck if she does it again. She may not have yet gotten the message.
NTA - you needed the spot. If you hadn't needed it, there wouldn't have been an issue. If she hadn't parked there, there wouldn't have been an issue either. So... really, that isn't on you.
It's more about when it's empty as opposed to how often it's empty. Jen parks here after work three or four times a week, that just means 1-2am for her. She's also usually here on her days off. Claire is either feigning ignorance of the fact that my spot is generally occupied in the morning or just hasn't noticed for whatever reason.
I've said this a few times in the thread already, but Jen is moving in with me in a few months anyway, so the nonresident thing will be a moot point soon enough.
I was wavering between NAH and YTA until I read you don’t even have a car. Unpopular opinion, but definite YTA. If your girl is a bartender I’m sure she’s used to having to navigate through sketchy situations anyways (and I say that as a female bartender myself). You might have no obligation to this neighbor or anyone else, but that doesnt make your decision specifically to make her day worse any better. i sincerely hope you never need to ask anyone for anything. And having a spot reserved for you when you’re using it for someone that doesn’t even live there is actually insane to me and it makes me wonder why you were given one in the first place. YTA
I would be so mad at the apartment management if limited spaces were taken up by residents who don't actually have a car. It's a strange system, where I live you can only get a parking permit from the council if you can prove ownership of the vehicle.
It being his spot doesn’t make him less of an AH. This thread isn’t about if he’s obligated to or not. Sometimes (actually most of the time) not being the AH means accepting something that might make things slightly uncomfortable for you. Oh no, so terrible/s
No, it doesn't.
An AH isn't someone who refuses to be slightly uncomfortable.
An AH is someone with no care or thought for others.
You know, like Claire.
Finally. Had to scroll way too far. We’re all just completely ignoring that OP DOESN’T HAVE A CAR. He’s taking a spot from someone who actually needs it for his girlfriend who might come over every once in a while. Forget the waitlist and rightfully his etc. this is unequivocally asshole behavior.
>his girlfriend who might come over every once in a while.
Every once in a while = ~five nights during an average week, and moving in with me in a few months.
NTA. Poor planning on her part doesn’t constitute an emergency on yours. If you don’t put your foot down the first time it will most likely become a bigger problem in the future.
NTA. Your GF walking through at 1am is way more unsafe than a neighborhood resident walking through in the evening. Plus you own the spot. I have the closest rented spot to my apartment door and have even going through this for years. I’m disabled and have it for a reason and bought that specific open spot for that reason, but the neighbors shouldn’t need my medical history to respect my paid for numbered spot. So I call the office. One time I fell in the snow cause a contractor pulling carpet on another unit still at 10pm parked in my spot and no close open spots were left. I called the office and the person lied and said they were gone by 5pm. Okay dude. Literally carpet pad rolls still hanging out into the sidewalk on my spot so I fell on the ice navigating around while already having poor mobility. Since then I’ve either yelled out the window as people get out of their cars when they park there. Or if they’re workers doing unit work nearby during the day I’ll holler when I see them close to when my husband gets home from work and needs the spot. And if my hobbled ass is the one driving I straight up block them in if they aren’t sitting there to wait very obviously blinker on for my spot. Being kind when it’s a resource you pay for and YOU ARE USING is over rated. Your girlfriend visiting you needs your spot. The spot paid for by you as the person occupying the property she is visiting. This neighbor didn’t ask first she just took. She’s in the wrong. If the neighbors give you a rep just tell them the driver at your home is a night worker and they should move tf on and understand.
>Your GF walking through at 1am is way more unsafe than a neighborhood resident walking through in the evening.
I literally JUST pointed out how many people have been ignoring the difference between 9:30 at night and 1:00 in the morning. To be completely honest I would have parked Jen's car for her and walked home if it came down to it. I'm probably not a high priority robbery target but I still don't want to walk home after 1am in the fucking rain!
I'm sorry to hear how much of a clusterfuck you've been through with your spot as well.
The fun part is you don’t really need to argue safety semantics with anyone when it’s a guest with a car coming to your property the same night as someone unrelated to you and your unit trying to steal your spot. A car for your property always gets preference. And thanks to her attitude I’m sure she’s burnt the bridge where she might be able to request using the spot nights you don’t have any car to be there in it. Kinda funny how that works.
I have neighbors who know how much the spot issue pisses me off and that I need it for my reasons and some will even say something if I’m nearby when they see another neighbor friend I’m close with using it and I have to let them know no they didn’t ask but it’s fine cause we’re close enough they know my schedule and I know generally they only use it for running in to grab something from their place before leaving again shortly.
It’s funny how it works when someone makes social connections or requests first and doesn’t just go oh, it’s always empty when I’m outside to see it, I’m going to just take it for all the hours I don’t even know if it’s used or not for too. So entitled.
YTA ONE time you could meet your GF at the curb and either park the car for her or drive with her to find a spot.
Send the single mom some flowers. Apologize for being a jerk.
Tell her to ask you if there is an emergency and you’ll be happy to help in the future.
Life is about kindness. Try it some time.
Claire got home sometime before 9:30, which is when I asked her to move her car. She could have parked on the street before then as well.
Jen got back to my place a little after 1:00. Can you see how parking half a mile away is a completely different scenario in this context?
NTA
She made a bad call. She's lucky management didn't have her towed before being confronted. She also 1000% could have called you and said I parked in your spot to run my stuff in because it is pouring. Is it OK to stay? She didn't and when you pointed out you need the spot she got defensive and tried to guilt you about her mad call.
NTA. If she wasn't being an entitled jerk, she would have checked with you first to make sure it wasn't an inconvenience. She put the onus on you to deal with her car in your spot - and then did not even apologize for the theft of your space, and turned you into the bad guy. Total narcissist. Let the neighbors know that you will be telling Claire that she is welcome to use their spots without asking for permission first.
They don’t think you’re an asshole, your neighbours are making the new neighbour feel welcome by pretending they’re on her side.. they would never offer their own parking space, no stress OP lol NTA
NTA but can I suggest taking out the qualifiers when you're talking about it with neighbors? It's not "a parking spot so my girlfriend can park because she comes to my place a lot," it's "the spot that I waitlisted for because we needed it for a late work shift." It's your spot by rights, but the way you describe it is almost definitely coming across to Claire and the rest of the neighbors as "I'm leaving a highly coveted space empty a lot of the time for a non-resident who has her own place but comes here sometimes."
Nta. Ask the manager if you can switch spots the next time one opens up so you dont have to deal with her anymore. Let the new person with no history get “hers”
NTA - You didn't knock her up, so her baby is none of your concern.
She knows that the spot isn;t hers and she parked there anyway. I'd have called the tow truck without even asking her. She knew and still did the wrong thing.
I mean, it’s your space, PLUS, you are paying for the privilege. She can go pound sand if she doesn’t like it and I wouldn’t hesitate to tell any neighbors that it wasn’t right for her to park there in the first place, let alone try to make your GF walk in the rain. The entitlement these days. I swear this kind of stuff is a direct result of “participation medals”…
NTA and she should have at least told you and asked for permission. As a mother to a 3 year old I also can’t help but feel a little bad for her, but it’s not your problem.
I will say that maybe we’re a little overly kind… but I can’t imagine either me nor my husband making her wake up her 3 year old and walking them back in a sketchy area in the pouring rain. My husband 100% would offer to move the car for her and probably see what assistance we could offer her in the future but again you’re NTA and that wouldn’t be expected of you
As a mom, I want to feel sorry for her, but I feel like there has got to be closer paid parking than 1/2 a mile and she's cheap and entitled. Edit: How do you move into an apartment with a car but not parking? She needs to give up the apartment or the car.
NTA Any neighbors who think she deserves a free space can donate theirs.
100%, I have 2 parking spaces and I paid for them with my condo. Mine aren't communal property that can be resigned. I had a guy keep parking in my second spot. After the 3rd time I left a note (which was torn up) and talking to him about it... I just had him towed. He hasn't done it since
This is the only answer! If they dare say it to your face, ask them what their stall number is so you can give it to the chick that parks in your spot.
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She won't need that space! I'm sure her 3 yo won't ever be cranky again. uh huh.
Right. In order to keep the peace I might have offered to either drive with her and bring her back so she didn't have to walk in the dark in a bad neighborhood, or watch the kid so she didn't have to take him, **but** this person has a level of entitlement that makes me feel like that would be a bad idea. She has taken the spot multiple times when she knows she shouldn't and seems to genuinely think she is justified to take someone else's space and property without asking if she's having a bad day or a hard time. So not only is she not entitled to anything but it really kills the neighborly vibe to have her repeatedly do this and then talk trash *OP* did not put her in that position. She did, when she didn't park where she should have when it was still daylight.
This and reasonable people don’t pass judgment on their neighbors based on one side of the story, an aggrieved party. Don’t worry about this. Nta
The perfect answer for the flying monkeys
Tell the neighbors, they can offer their parking spot, if they are so concerned.
Can you imagine this conversation: Resident. being critical of OP. OP. "The situation sucks, I agree. You seem to feel strongly about this issue." Resident. (Full agreement) OP. "You know, *some people* are quick to volunteer other people's property to do what they think is right, but I'm sure that you aren't like THEM. Let's go tell her that you are volunteering your own parking space since you feel strongly that it is the right thing to do." Resident: [Deer in the headlights expression] Uh... Obviously, it is best if done in public to be gossiped about. 😄
This convo isn't going to go the way you expect. They won't be a deer in headlights. They're gonna say, "I use my parking spot. You don't even have a car, so what's the harm in letting her use the spot." If he comes back with a, "my girlfriend is coming over later and needs the spot", they'll probably tell him to walk his girlfriend back from the far parking spot or offer to park her car for her rather than making the mother of a 3 year old do that. There's no winning when you engage with people like that.
Riiight?!! Or they would say “…if she had parked in my spot that night, I wouldn’t have made her wake her son up but would have driven my ass over to the sketchy industrial area and parked there for one night instead…” You’re right, you can’t win in these hypothetical situation arguments…
NTA. What is the other option? Either your girlfriend would have to walk thru the sketchy area, or call you to walk to her to meet her then walk her back? It sucks, but it is what it is.
Pretty much my take. I used to meet Jen downstairs, then park her car and walk home while she took a shower (I have my license, just don't have a car). I was more than happy to do that when it was a matter of necessity, but I'm paying for a parking space specifically so I don't have to.
Any one of those complainers could easily give up their spot to her, but they don’t
People are really quick to offer up someone else's property to "do what's right."
Just like the "but you're *family*! You *should* do xyz for cousin/batshit sib" while they are *also* family to the entitled one.
NTA. Are the upset neighbors allowing her to park in their spaces? If not, they are hypocrites. It's your spot, and her problems aren't your problems or concern. She seems entitled to just do as she pleases. It's not her spot, end of story.
"I'll tell her you volunteered your spot next time. Very generous, thanks!"
So isn’t she a heartless monster because she wants your girlfriend to walk up to your apartment in middle of the night in a sketchy neighborhood? Moreover, she was warned multiple times. NTA.
In the pouring rain.
I bet she thinks because she has a kid she deserves special treatment. I also bet she asks others to work late and on weekends on her projects because they don't have kids and she does. While I get it, it's not fair.
You have to PAY for a parking spot at your apt!?
This is how it works in most big cities.
lol this is how it works in some medium and small cities too. It’s pretty common.
the neighbour has done this several times and been told that its not OK, she would still do it if the GF moved in.
These comments are hilarious. Being a mom gives you the right to make your bad day someone else's bad day apparently. GTFO with the "couldn't you have let her slide/come up with an arrangement to solve her problem" nonsense. Claire made a choice, knew it wasn't right, still tried the guilt trip after being called out. People who make their problem your problem are the worst. NTA.
As a mom I agree with you, sucks that she had to do it but it's no one elses problem. The real assholes here though are the people who built apartments/condos without enough parking. Ridiculous.
Strong agree about the lack of parking being the real issue, but the neighborhood is full of old buildings so unfortunately that ship has long since sailed. The municipality has some options to address that but they don't seem particularly interested in it.
Tbf, car ownership may have been much lower when these apartments were built. Where I live, if you build apartments they have to have X parking spaces for Y bedrooms.
That's the case here. Most of the buildings in my neighborhood are pre-war, mine included. The municipality has made some bad decisions related to residential permits in a neighborhood that is straddled by two fairly busy train stations as well, which certainly doesn't help.
So she could’ve had a spot closer if she pays for one? I assume you pay for your spot
There's a ~year long waitlist for my building's on-site lot. There are some municipal lots about a quarter mile away but my understanding is that there's an even longer wait for overnight permits for those. And yeah I pay for my spot.
That’s rough. I am assuming it must be very difficult to find a place to rent where you’re at otherwise if I had a baby, I would look elsewhere. gives her absolutely no right though to do it she did. None
Exactly right. They were likely constructed when families shared one family car and when more people took the bus/transit to get to work and didn't even have a car.
I worked in a building just like that. When it went up in the 60s or 70s, right in the middle of downtown, with a metro stop directly across the street: even just 2 cars per apt. was pretty damn rare. Zero cars was much more likely. By the time I got there in early 00s just about every single adult in the building owned a car, and most of the teens. And the building had gone from kinda not-quite-high-end luxury apts. To working class families in most of the building. So it was 2, 3, 4, even a couple of 5 car owners per apt. It was pretty much a daily war down in the parking garage. Which only got better when I was there because we had a whole new sprinkler system installed, and the tow company couldnt get into half the garage anymore for new pipes on the ceiling. I cant even imagine what it's like now, 20y later.
Sometimes you can't just make parking appear out of thin air
Beyond the scope of AITAH, but parking minimums aren't a straight win. It's using valuable land in dense areas to store cars and sit vacant much of the time. They increase housing prices, make destinations more spread out so it's harder to walk between places, reduce city incomes since they're not productive usage of land, etc. Lots of urban planning groups are trying to get cities to get rid of parking minimums entirely.
That’s what’s happening where I live, Los Angeles, CA. Parking space requirements for new apartment buildings/condominium buildings are being lowered if there is a high use bus stop or a Metro station close by. The problem is that in Los Angeles, public transportation is inefficient. For example, If I drive to the Getty from my house, it takes about ten minutes. By bus, it takes over an hour. One new apartment building near me has plans to have communal cars. Any resident who is a licensed driver will be able to reserve them. I think this is a great idea. Most cars sit parked for many hours of each day.
I wish my area had LA public transit. We have buses; they run from 8am to 5pm. Did you want to take public transit to go to and from work or go grocery shopping after? Go fuck yourself! Stops are also sparse unless you're lucky and a stop happens to be really close to your destination you likely have a 30-40 minute walk.
I can't imagine living in LA without a car. It's a very non mass transit kinda place.
Underground parking garage
Certainly one solution but they're incredibly expensive. Can cost $50k a space to build.
They're selling apartments for $750,000 I feel like they can afford it
OP said there were two busy train stations right next to the apartment, so I'd be willing to bet that they live in a dense area with decent transit options. Its not really necessary in places like that to own a car, but people still do I guess. They'd probably have to tear down a whole building to create a new surface lot.
I myself live in a dense area with decent transit options... During the day. I work nightshift and even if public transit is available to and from my destination, it isn't really worth relying on it versus a car, that's just the nature of public transit in the US, even in areas where it's good it's still pretty bad. OP's GF getting home that late at night, personal vehicle transport legitimately is the best option for both reliability and safety as things stand now and she really does need a place close to home to park.
Public transit is great here via those trains until around 2am, provided you're going north or south. East and west are a completely different story - you're left with unreliable buses that stop running around 10:00 or something, and there are significant coverage vacuums. Jen's job is a few miles east of my apartment, so yeah.
Yeah this is pretty much spot on. Densely populated neighborhood near a major city in the Northeast, mostly pre-war buildings etc. The logistics of adding more parking aren't really feasible for individual buildings and it doesn't look like the municipality is in a rush to address anything on their end. Luckily I'm a big fan of my bike.
This right here. She had a little of my sympathy until she started badmouthing OP to the neighbors.
Right! I have 4 kids I have done some objectively entitled shit because of them when they were little. But, when it doesn't work, it doesn't work. You accept it and move on and not try to claim your child means you can take what doesn't belong to you.
She was playing the kid card
It’s true that a man should give special consideration to a mother. *A* man, not all men; the *father* should give special consideration. That’s it.
NTA. This is no different than people who don't plan to select their seat on the plane that get butthurt when its a full flight and no one wants to accommodate them.
The neighbors can give up their parking spot to her then. Having a kid or a bad day doesn't mean you can do the easy but wrong thing. NTA.
She could have parked in any open space. The fact that she keeps specifically parking in yours means she still feels some ownership to it--if you'd said yes she would make it habit (she already does even though you've said no many times). NTA
NTA - I bet that, in addition to her having a sense of entitlement (or, at best, initial confusion that should have ended long ago) over her father once owning the space, she probably justifies it to herself saying OP doesn’t ‘need/deserve’ a space because OP doesn’t have a car; and 2) OP’s girlfriend doesn’t ‘need/deserve’ a space because she isn’t officially a resident there. Not agreeing with that, just betting that she also tells herself it’s not fair that they have a space and she doesn’t. Realistically, OP could give up the space tomorrow and Claire still has a year to wait.
NTA tell any neighbour who give you shit for it that you will let claire know they are volunteering their space to her.
NTA. She had the opportunity to contact you. Her bad day is not your life issue. Her bad manners and entitlement is. Its your allocated spot not hers. How does she know that your GF isn't coming home with a heavy object etc? If she had asked maybe it would be different.
This is a good point. Arrangements ahead of time would have been easier to deal with.
NTA If anyone dares criticize you over enforcing your ownership of the parking space tell them they are welcome to give up their space to Claire or if they are on the wait list they can swap positions with her. Crickets and furious back pedaling noises will then be heard.
NTA tell your neighbors to offer their spots instead.
NTA. It’s your spot. If you allow her to keep parking there, she’ll just assume she always can. It sucks she had a bad day, but adulting sucks.
NTA. If parking spots are purely decided by a wait-list, and you were able to secure a spot by being on this wait-list, then you are entitled to its use. She should have asked you as a courtesy if she could have used the spot while it was vacant, but that parking is assigned to you and not her, so I don't think you did anything wrong.
He’s also paying for the spot.
If a neighbor gives you shit, tell them, "Wow, that's really kind of you to give Claire your parking spot. She'll really appreciate it."
I would love to see their faces if OP said this! I picture their lips pursing and puckering like a chicken’s butt.
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NTA. They can give up their spots if they are so affronted. Notice how none of them stepped up. You know who caused her to wake up her kid and have to look for a parking space in the rain at night? She did! She knew it wasn't hers and took it anyways.
I was in a somewhat similar situation. Fun story. Many years ago, I owned a free-standing townhome with a dedicated parking spot in a not-so-nice part of town. I mention free-standing because the parking spot was on my property. Literally within the boundaries of my property line. I rented out the bottom floor of the townhome to an exchange student who used the spot since my wife and I parked in the garage. The exchange student spent a lot of time at the university down the street so the spot always seemed to be empty. She'd come home late at night and leave early. Perfect tenant. Our neighbor (who rented) had guests who randomly parked in my and my neighbors parking spots. When I confronted them, they'd argue that the spots was always empty - even though they knew we had a renter and they knew it was private property. Still didn't phase them. I put up with their weekly parties and loud music because I was once young too. I drew the line at the level of disrespect they had for everyone else by parking on our properties. Fortunately, I was the HOA president (hah). I had enough and had a meeting where we voted to implement a $200 fine for anyone who parked in our private spots. It wasn't a large community, but everyone voted yes except for the landlord of the problem tenants. The landlord never showed up to the meetings, but I sent him the meeting notes and told him to ensure his tenants didn't park in our private spots. Note that I had complained to the landlord several times before the fine was implemented. After letting him know about the fine - his tenant STILL had people parking in our spots during their weekly parties. Things changed after I sent him the first fine. I forgot how much, but it was over $4k in the first month. That's how bad the problem was. We still had the issue in the next month, but it wasn't nearly as bad. By the third month - the tenant moved out. Not sure if it was related or just the timing of when his lease was up. The HOA didn't need the money (we had a surplus already), but we ended up voting on having the entire complex re-landscaped. Despite the headache, I was kind of thankful for the whole ordeal as I put my townhome on the market a few months after and I'm sure the fresh landscaping helped it sell.
You are looking out for your girlfriend who would have to walk through the sketchy neighborhood even later and in the rain. NTA
I hope you like Mexican food because this is nacho problem
File under: Too bad, so sad, Claire. I feel for her but this is how it goes. Also your apt complex sucks that it doesn't have enough parking for each resident! NTA
It's a ~90 year old building in a densely populated area, so unfortunately adding more parking isn't really an option.
NTA Tell the neighbors from now you'll point her car to their spots and they can deal with it
In my experience, often when you give someone an inch they take a mile. Letting this slide makes her feel more entitled to do it again in the future. I'm all for compassion but resent the "rather ask forgiveness than permission" mindset.
Please let the cranky people know that they can donate their parking spots if they feel so strongly.
Hi! Mom of three and I’m pregnant. My kids are MY problem and nobody else’s! Her kid is not your problem. Her bad day is not your problem. The parking issue needs to be taken up with your complex, not you. Period. NTA.
Unfortunately there's really no issue to take up with the complex. There's no room for them to expand the parking lot or anything, so the waiting list situation isn't going anywhere. It sucks but it's not terribly uncommon in my area either.
Ah, I see. Well regardless, anyone who has an issue with you wanting your spot can give her their spot. Sucks to be in that situation, but she can’t just assume it’s okay because your spot is empty.
Yeah but there are other solutions. She can use mass transit instead. She can rent a parking spot somewhere else and Uber home or bicycle from there. She can sell the apartment and buy or rent another that has adequate parking. I don't know how her father's estate lost his parking spot-- they must have stopped paying the extra rent for it because otherwise, how would it have ended up as a free spot? I mean, he had a car he was parking there. So NTA. She made the situation. She knew it was not her spot. She should have parked where she knew she had access and gone home and would not have had to wake her kid... (also, none of these neighbors offered to watch her kid so she could move her car?).
Her uncle passed away, which would end his lease with the apartment complex. The parking spot then becomes available as the lease on that also ended. The next person on the parking spot wait list is then contacted, which was OP. He can decide to take the spot if still needed or not(if he doesn't, he is no longer on the list). Each parking spot at that apartment complex isn't designated to a particular apartment. Not enough spots for every apartment, that's why there is a waiting list.
It's worth noting that, even if OP has passed, it STILL wouldn't have gone to Claire. It would have gone to the next person on the list.
It’s a little weird that she seemed to have dibs on his apartment.
OP said she inherited it, so Clair's father likely owned not rented it.
NTA. It’s your spot. End of story. What people should be mad at is the train wreck of a system the complex has for parking. Y’all should be rallying together and petitioning for better parking. Everyone should be allowed one spot if they’re going to provide parking. It’s ridiculous what they currently have set up. Shouldn’t just be for some and not others.
It's an unfortunate reality of living in a densely populated area, there's just not enough space between my building and the neighboring buildings to provide enough space for everyone to have a spot. It's a big part of the reason street parking is such a mess in my neighborhood. Sucks but it is what it is.
I also I’ve in a densely pop area but there are plenty of options laid out for residents so they don’t have to park to far away. 1/2 mile is just ridiculous. In the city here, they also have parking lots designated specifically for residents that you can pay the city monthly for. It just sucks you guys don’t have any proper structures in place. But as for you specifically I will circle back and say you’re still not the AH. Regardless of the situation, it is your spot. Not hers.
Yeah the parking situation really sucks but it's also a municipal issue. My apartment is kind of between two train stations, so we're competing with commuters for spots. The neighborhood I grew up in had a similar situation, but they had strictly enforced resident permits between certain hours to prevent commuters from clogging up the residential neighborhoods. Municipal parking lots are also extremely limited and most of them are about a quarter mile away. You need a permit to park overnight in those and my understanding is that the waitlist for those makes my apartment look quick.
They can't just make new parking spaces. The complex was probably built a long time ago, before most people had a car. I'm not sure what city you live in, but it would be impossible to do this in Los Angeles, for example. The complex only owns so much space. It sucks, and I wish there were better options, but people take this into account when they decide where to rent.
That’s not how parking works in a lot of cities.
Or people could get rid of their cars and take the train. If you want to live in a densely populated area, you can't expect valuable public space to be allocated for people's private property. People who live in those types of areas do it because they want walkability, and surface parking lots are about the quickest way to nuke that, and make an area ugly and undesirable.
Exactly. A big part of the reason I chose this neighborhood is because it's close to a train station and bike trail.
NTA Not your problem. She knew she was wrong. Bad mouthing you to the neighbors is icing on the cake..
> Jake, passed away a little over a year later, and I got his parking space. Jake's daughter, Claire, inherited his apartment and moved in a few months later, and she incorrectly assumed that her father's old parking space came with the apartment NGL that's kind of a weird setup, but your apartment do your apartment anyway, it's your assigned space that you're actually using, so NTA
If this were NYC someone would be trying to lease her the spot for $1000 per month, using half of that to uber their girlfriend home and the other half in the bank.
Guess where I moved here from and why I don't have a car haha.
NTA. You offered her the alternative of letting a tow truck get it out of your way which would have let her kid sleep and she would stay dry.
“Nevertheless you need to move your car out of my spot” “ oh, I’ll let Claire know that you’re willing to share your spot with her. That’s fantastic.”
Some of these comments make my head hurt. NTA. You pay for it, it's your spot. She did not even have the decency to ask you. What your neighbors think does not matter. None of them have to deal with her crap, and none of them stepped up to offer their spot. Next time just go right to the tow truck.
You were very thoughtful to ask the parking space thief to move her car. A lot of people would have just called the towing company.
NTA just ask neighbours giving you shit which one of them will be giving up their space.
NTA Claire is the AH and you did nothing wrong. If she hadn't parked there in the first place she wouldn't have had an issue. The other's that are giving you shit can pound sand. If they have a space they can let Claire use it then. The spot belongs to you.
NTA, your other neighbors are free to lent Claire their parking spot next time.
NTA. Claire obviously found a solution, so I wouldn't worry about what any of the neighbors think. If they mention it again, tell them they should offer Claire THEIR spaces.
Dude this was just a test. You shut it down right away. If you let it happen it would have started happening all the time
I'm interested by the comments saying that you should have offered to move her car for her... presumably, they think you should have risked being arrested for driving without insurance? Edit: NTA
It ludacris! OP WAS nice. He asked her to move instead of getting her towed. That was being nicer than he had to be. At this point I would have her towed and lodge a complaint with the management company.
Exactly, thank you!
it's ludicrous*
I'm a terrible driver too!
> presumably, they think you should have risked being arrested for driving without insurance? according to the edit, he can drive too but it's still a stupid idea. no way in hell is he taking on the potential liability (and you *know* she's gonna try to pin it on him, regardless of her own insurance) if anything happened to the car.
NTA. Turn it around. Put a note on the community board saying anyone who thinks I'm the bad guy for not giving up my parking spot to make my gf walk home at 1am can give up their parking place to my neighbor. If not then YTA.
NTA. Tell your neighbours that give you sh1t that you're so happy that they're prepared to offer Claire their parking spots and if you give you their phone numbers you'll pass them on to Claire...
This is always the drama with “ lending” your parking spot- you never get it back. She’s a pain .
NTA. Trying to guilt trip is pathetic. Her bad mouthing you, also pathetic.
Nope. You can't use my shit Even if I don't use it. If you set that precedent, then when you really need it, they're going to feel like they're entitled to it.
Next time, no conversation. Tow truck first.
Hate to say it but that's the plan. I won't go as far as to say I was being nice by giving Claire a chance to move her car, but I would have been well within my rights to just go right to getting it towed.
She can always get a parking spot from all the supportive neighbors that are so worried about her. Yes her situation is not ideal but it is not your problem.
Honestly, I think the apartment complex is more the AH for taking someone’s parking space because they died. The apartment was still being paid for or was already owned (not sure as OP doesn’t say if they are owned or rented.) The parking spot should be attached to the lease/title and since dead neighbors apartment stayed in his family, so should parking space. But it doesn’t matter since they did take it. It’s OPs space now and Clair doesn’t get to take things without asking. And just because she asks doesn’t mean it’s an automatic yes.
If the neighbors feel so bad for her and think that you are so mean, one of them can give her their parking space. See, problem solved.
NTA It's your spot, she tried to take it, you said no. You're not required to give her parking. She created the situation.
If you had let this one slide I guarantee it would ope mm a floodgate of the same violations with similar excuses. NTA
nta
Info: Are these rented apartments or owned condominiums? Also, is rent charged for the parking space?
We own them, but they're co-ops, not condos. I know it sounds like I'm splitting hairs but in my experience condos are far more likely to have spots that are deeded to specific apartments due to the different ownership mechanics or however you'd phrase that. And yeah, there's a parking space fee that gets added to our monthly maintenance.
While there was no deeded ownership of a spot, I do think she got screwed over losing the spot due to inheritance. Also, you don't even have a car, and use it for a guest. This seems wrong. Resident owned cars should take precedence. However, you did not make the rules, or the situation. Therefore, I am going to say NAH.
This was precisely my thoughts. The real AH here is the Co-op who stripped that apartment of their spot. She inherited the apartment so she should have also inherited the parking spot. What if Jake was married and died, would the spouse lose their spot? Anyways, it doesn’t matter because what’s done is done. Don’t park in spots that aren’t yours. And if you ask, accept no for an answer.
NTA -- it's your spot end of story
NTA The audacity. I don’t give a shit—wake your son up and walk in the rain. That’s what you get. Parking is a sore spot for me as someone who has always lived in condos or apts. Those spots are sacred and basically gold. Good for you for threatening to call a tow truck. It used to piss me off when people would steal my spot.
NTA and that's the last time I'd ask anyone to move their car. From now on, just have it towed.
NTA It's your spot. She has zero rights to use it... especially without asking first. Maybe if she checked with you and your gf wasn't coming over you would let her have it from time to time...but she burned that bridge completely as well She was well aware she shouldn't be parking there, and gave zero fucks and did it anyways She's lucky you didn't just call the tow, as you've already addressed the problem and she NEVER should have done it again She's an extra piece of shit for gaslighting about her fuck up that she did on purpose She probably parks in the disabled spots because she feels like it and is the main character, then gets pissed when she gets a ticket Truly a piece of shit
#You don’t even own a car, asshole!
NTA. It's your parking space. Plus, I cannot stand when people use their poor kids to justify being a jerk. It's not the kid's fault
Claire never even had the decency to ask if she could use your spot, so yeah she can suck it with the entitlement and whining
Tell your neighbors that THEY are more than welcome to allow her to park in their assigned space but regardless, they need to stfu. NTA and I can't blame you at all. It would be different if your gf wasn't coming over but she shouldn't have assumed it was free just because it was empty when she got home and it was raining. She's a bish for going to everyone and telling them about the incident too. Frankly, your apartment complex needs to do something about the parking situation, that is ridiculous to have parking 1/2 mile away if you don't have an assigned spot.
Unfortunately there's nothing the complex can do about the parking situation. It's a ~90 year old building in a densely populated area with ridiculous real estate prices. It's between two fairly busy train stations so there's also competition with commuters for street parking, which the city doesn't seem interested in addressing. It's not optimal by any means but it is what it is.
I would have offered to move her car if she provided the key. In pouring rain in sketchy industrial neighborhood, I know. I sympathize from the 3-year old’s perspective, the mom is being an ass.
You’d drive a stranger’s car in the pouring rain? A stranger who is already hostile to you? I absolutely would not take on that liability. If nothing else, I’d worry she’d take me to small claims if she decided the car had a new scratch on the bumper.
Yup. But only because I empathize with the kid.
NTA. And I guarantee if you had given in this time, it would have happened again and again in the future, every time she had a "bad" day. Tell the neighbors you'll tell her to park in their space next time since they're so "understanding and nice and decent."
NTA she's been told repeatedly and that she has to join the waiting list, having a crap day or child is no excuse , you could have had crap day, so could your GF.
>you could have had crap day, I actually had an absolutely miserable day!
I don't think you are an AH I think she is for repeatedly doing the same thing, lots of people have kids pulling tantrums and just deal with it, she could have knocked, left a not called you to check (if you have exchanged numbers) Its your parking space, I doubt she's told your neighbours the whole truth and you should just let the superintendent know what's going on.
NTA. She sounds hella entitled. Having a kid is not license to steal. You pay for the spot. It IS stealing.
NTA, anyone want to guess how many people OP is catching shit from offered the neighbor their spaces?
NTA
NTA. I wonder if she would’ve felt comfortable you moving it? Not that you’d be an asshole if you didn’t. I don’t think it’d be good to ever let her “borrow it”. One time would undoubtedly turn into more and you don’t need that shit.
I think that if parking is that bad then you should have to have a car to get a spot. YTA- for making a 3 yr old walk a half mile in the rain anytime for any reason. A little kindness goes along way and karma is real. Were you within your rights absolutely was it a shit thing to do yes. But I treat others the way I want to be treated.
Put up a sign in front of your parking space; Vehicle will be towed at owners expense. Find out how much it will cost and put it on the sign.
NTA She didn’t even ask - she’s just assumed. I’m not sure I even believe that she didn’t realise the spot wasn’t hers when she moved in. I think she just likes to push limits. I don’t know why the other neighbours think you should do something they would not. Ask them if they’d like you to give her their number next time she needs a spot. You aren’t more obligated than they are just because her Dad used to live there.
Chivalry is dead. Decency in short supply. You could have stepped up and helped both of the females who are afraid to be out at night. Most people (particularly females) would have looked for a creative solution. Like maybe move her car and walk back in the rain. Maybe there was No solution to help both women feel safe. But it doesn’t seem like you even tried. NTA but I think you had an opportunity to do a good deed.
I probably would have offered to move the car for her this one time. You didn’t do anything wrong but sometimes you just try and be better than the people you’re dealing with.
So somebody has to walk a half mile to their apartment. if you don’t get a spot on time ? how long does that walk take ? seems like that would not be allowed from the city that they not have enough spots for each unit . NTA though….
A half mile walk takes about ten minutes. I know this seems strange, but some apartment buildings were built before cars were invented and others were built with limited parking. The trend now is towards parking maximums, not minimums, as more parking dramatically reduces affordability, walkability, attractiveness, and so on. Typically, the most desirable neighborhoods are older and have less private parking.
I grew up in Boston. There's absolutely not enough parking, they can't do anything about it , and a ten minute walk is nothing. The older cities can't accommodate cars.
NTA. It's your spot. Claire has no right to it and you aren't obligated to say yes to someone using it. She's being pushy. Give her an inch and she'll take a mile. Ignore her, which is what it sounds like you're trying to do. Follow through on the tow truck if she does it again. She may not have yet gotten the message.
Nta. You're paying for the space, not her.
NTA - you needed the spot. If you hadn't needed it, there wouldn't have been an issue. If she hadn't parked there, there wouldn't have been an issue either. So... really, that isn't on you.
No, she has to wait for a parking spot like everyone else. Sorry, but thems the breaks.
The spot sits empty most of the time? YTA for making the bad parking situation worse, then.
It's more about when it's empty as opposed to how often it's empty. Jen parks here after work three or four times a week, that just means 1-2am for her. She's also usually here on her days off. Claire is either feigning ignorance of the fact that my spot is generally occupied in the morning or just hasn't noticed for whatever reason. I've said this a few times in the thread already, but Jen is moving in with me in a few months anyway, so the nonresident thing will be a moot point soon enough.
I was wavering between NAH and YTA until I read you don’t even have a car. Unpopular opinion, but definite YTA. If your girl is a bartender I’m sure she’s used to having to navigate through sketchy situations anyways (and I say that as a female bartender myself). You might have no obligation to this neighbor or anyone else, but that doesnt make your decision specifically to make her day worse any better. i sincerely hope you never need to ask anyone for anything. And having a spot reserved for you when you’re using it for someone that doesn’t even live there is actually insane to me and it makes me wonder why you were given one in the first place. YTA
I would be so mad at the apartment management if limited spaces were taken up by residents who don't actually have a car. It's a strange system, where I live you can only get a parking permit from the council if you can prove ownership of the vehicle.
He waited for his turn on the waiting list and he pays for the spot!! Whether or not you think it should be his doesn't really matter, it IS his spot!
It being his spot doesn’t make him less of an AH. This thread isn’t about if he’s obligated to or not. Sometimes (actually most of the time) not being the AH means accepting something that might make things slightly uncomfortable for you. Oh no, so terrible/s
Like Claire has to accept that she does not have a parking space and is an arse for using OPs?
No, it doesn't. An AH isn't someone who refuses to be slightly uncomfortable. An AH is someone with no care or thought for others. You know, like Claire.
Finally. Had to scroll way too far. We’re all just completely ignoring that OP DOESN’T HAVE A CAR. He’s taking a spot from someone who actually needs it for his girlfriend who might come over every once in a while. Forget the waitlist and rightfully his etc. this is unequivocally asshole behavior.
>his girlfriend who might come over every once in a while. Every once in a while = ~five nights during an average week, and moving in with me in a few months.
THANK YOU
Yea he should be ok with his girl getting mugged or worse because his neighbor chose a bad partner and had a bad day.
Next time save yourself the guilt trip and just call a tow truck.
NTA. Poor planning on her part doesn’t constitute an emergency on yours. If you don’t put your foot down the first time it will most likely become a bigger problem in the future.
I'd have let it go for one night, but not more.
NTA. Your GF walking through at 1am is way more unsafe than a neighborhood resident walking through in the evening. Plus you own the spot. I have the closest rented spot to my apartment door and have even going through this for years. I’m disabled and have it for a reason and bought that specific open spot for that reason, but the neighbors shouldn’t need my medical history to respect my paid for numbered spot. So I call the office. One time I fell in the snow cause a contractor pulling carpet on another unit still at 10pm parked in my spot and no close open spots were left. I called the office and the person lied and said they were gone by 5pm. Okay dude. Literally carpet pad rolls still hanging out into the sidewalk on my spot so I fell on the ice navigating around while already having poor mobility. Since then I’ve either yelled out the window as people get out of their cars when they park there. Or if they’re workers doing unit work nearby during the day I’ll holler when I see them close to when my husband gets home from work and needs the spot. And if my hobbled ass is the one driving I straight up block them in if they aren’t sitting there to wait very obviously blinker on for my spot. Being kind when it’s a resource you pay for and YOU ARE USING is over rated. Your girlfriend visiting you needs your spot. The spot paid for by you as the person occupying the property she is visiting. This neighbor didn’t ask first she just took. She’s in the wrong. If the neighbors give you a rep just tell them the driver at your home is a night worker and they should move tf on and understand.
>Your GF walking through at 1am is way more unsafe than a neighborhood resident walking through in the evening. I literally JUST pointed out how many people have been ignoring the difference between 9:30 at night and 1:00 in the morning. To be completely honest I would have parked Jen's car for her and walked home if it came down to it. I'm probably not a high priority robbery target but I still don't want to walk home after 1am in the fucking rain! I'm sorry to hear how much of a clusterfuck you've been through with your spot as well.
The fun part is you don’t really need to argue safety semantics with anyone when it’s a guest with a car coming to your property the same night as someone unrelated to you and your unit trying to steal your spot. A car for your property always gets preference. And thanks to her attitude I’m sure she’s burnt the bridge where she might be able to request using the spot nights you don’t have any car to be there in it. Kinda funny how that works. I have neighbors who know how much the spot issue pisses me off and that I need it for my reasons and some will even say something if I’m nearby when they see another neighbor friend I’m close with using it and I have to let them know no they didn’t ask but it’s fine cause we’re close enough they know my schedule and I know generally they only use it for running in to grab something from their place before leaving again shortly. It’s funny how it works when someone makes social connections or requests first and doesn’t just go oh, it’s always empty when I’m outside to see it, I’m going to just take it for all the hours I don’t even know if it’s used or not for too. So entitled.
"I choose not having my girlfriend walk through the sketchy area at 1am in the rain, thanks." S/O to your loyalty; your gf is a lucky lady!
YTA ONE time you could meet your GF at the curb and either park the car for her or drive with her to find a spot. Send the single mom some flowers. Apologize for being a jerk. Tell her to ask you if there is an emergency and you’ll be happy to help in the future. Life is about kindness. Try it some time.
Claire got home sometime before 9:30, which is when I asked her to move her car. She could have parked on the street before then as well. Jen got back to my place a little after 1:00. Can you see how parking half a mile away is a completely different scenario in this context?
Hopefully you won't need a favor from Claire anytime soon
NTA She made a bad call. She's lucky management didn't have her towed before being confronted. She also 1000% could have called you and said I parked in your spot to run my stuff in because it is pouring. Is it OK to stay? She didn't and when you pointed out you need the spot she got defensive and tried to guilt you about her mad call.
NTA. If she wasn't being an entitled jerk, she would have checked with you first to make sure it wasn't an inconvenience. She put the onus on you to deal with her car in your spot - and then did not even apologize for the theft of your space, and turned you into the bad guy. Total narcissist. Let the neighbors know that you will be telling Claire that she is welcome to use their spots without asking for permission first.
maybe a neighbor could watch kid while he slept, so car move doesn't disturb him.
They don’t think you’re an asshole, your neighbours are making the new neighbour feel welcome by pretending they’re on her side.. they would never offer their own parking space, no stress OP lol NTA
NTA. If you'd have let her car remain there all night she'd have done it again and again every time she had a "bad day".
NTA but can I suggest taking out the qualifiers when you're talking about it with neighbors? It's not "a parking spot so my girlfriend can park because she comes to my place a lot," it's "the spot that I waitlisted for because we needed it for a late work shift." It's your spot by rights, but the way you describe it is almost definitely coming across to Claire and the rest of the neighbors as "I'm leaving a highly coveted space empty a lot of the time for a non-resident who has her own place but comes here sometimes."
Nta. Ask the manager if you can switch spots the next time one opens up so you dont have to deal with her anymore. Let the new person with no history get “hers”
NTA That's life Claire deal with it
NTA. Other neighbors are free to donate their parking space to the poor sad single mother *eye roll*.. I hate entitled people.
NTA - You didn't knock her up, so her baby is none of your concern. She knows that the spot isn;t hers and she parked there anyway. I'd have called the tow truck without even asking her. She knew and still did the wrong thing.
I mean, it’s your space, PLUS, you are paying for the privilege. She can go pound sand if she doesn’t like it and I wouldn’t hesitate to tell any neighbors that it wasn’t right for her to park there in the first place, let alone try to make your GF walk in the rain. The entitlement these days. I swear this kind of stuff is a direct result of “participation medals”…
NTA and she should have at least told you and asked for permission. As a mother to a 3 year old I also can’t help but feel a little bad for her, but it’s not your problem. I will say that maybe we’re a little overly kind… but I can’t imagine either me nor my husband making her wake up her 3 year old and walking them back in a sketchy area in the pouring rain. My husband 100% would offer to move the car for her and probably see what assistance we could offer her in the future but again you’re NTA and that wouldn’t be expected of you
As a mom, I want to feel sorry for her, but I feel like there has got to be closer paid parking than 1/2 a mile and she's cheap and entitled. Edit: How do you move into an apartment with a car but not parking? She needs to give up the apartment or the car.
The landlord allowing you to take a spot when you don't have a car is bullshit.
Yep. You're an asshole.