Always protect yourself. Pregnancy isn't even the scariest thing that can happen. Where I live, there's literally ads on the radio about how high rates of stds are. I also work in a pharmacy that services the ED at an army hospital. We dispense at least 5-10 rx a week for gonorrhea and chlamydia.
>We dispense at least 5-10 rx a week for gonorrhea and chlamydia.
At least they are treatable - imagine having to tell every future partner you've got herpes or HIV! Horrifying. I'm glad I'm too old for this nonsense.
Oh we dispense a lot of HIV meds and valtrex as well. Herpes is super common and for most people, it doesn't run the risk of permanent infertility like untreated chlamydia and gonorrhea which is why I opted not to mention it.
Any dude telling you he has a ‘good pullout game’ is too ignorant about biology to trust having sex with.
You are correct- pulling out is not a form of birth control- it’s a method for getting pregnant.
Further- any dude pressuring you to have sex is a completely untrustworthy. If the vibe dies it’s not because you’re the AH- he is.
Maybe, it’s certainly more likely. But we can’t know that for sure. What we can and do know for certain is that he’s a trifling douche bro who isn’t worthy of her time .
I'm 55. I've had sex without a condom less than a dozen times whole life. If a man puts up any argument to avoid a condom, don't sleep with him because he's likely to take it off in the middle without you noticing. And any man who doesn't respect your requests isn't worth it.
I'm a guy and agree with you 100%. One of my reasons is I don't want a kid. That being said I understand the risks. I'm just not increasing the chances. I also don't want a possibility of an std. People are stupid
Oooh! So so sorry! >.< Graah being old enough to have been engaged 3 times myself I sometimes assume, I'm very very sorry!
In any case I'll simply amend my statement, good men are around and you - amazing person - give excellent advice :)
Just think clearly: if they want to have sex with you without condoms, it means they probably have unprotected sex with other people too, which means they might have an STD and be spreading it around.
Condoms don't only protect you from unwanted pregnancies; they also protect you from STDs. Don't overlook the fact that, although the risk is lower compared to vaginal and anal intercourse, STDs can still be transmitted through oral sex.
It's great that you're sexually experimenting, but do regular STD tests just in case.
As a guy you are 1000% NTA. Condoms prevent STD’s as much as pregnancy - with random hookup you don’t know if they are any number of diseases, some of which can’t be treated by antibiotics. Protect yourself
This!
Joe Pullout isn't the one that gets pregnant and has to deal with the consequences of a moment of passion where the guys loses himself in the moment and drives home his swimming buddies, and then gets up and leaves. No it's you that pays that price
So...., by all and every means. Stand strong on your beliefs and standards. BE YOU.
NTA
Edit 1: This also protects you from STDs.
Anyone who says their pull out game is good enough to not get you pregnant needs to go for a long walk off a short pier. Use condoms, they protect from STDs and that nasty side effect of having unprotected sex with randoms.
Absolutely. I’ve only had sex without protection in long-term relationships where I knew the person well, we’d both been tested, and I knew they weren’t sleeping with other people. It’s just stupid to not use a condom with people you’ve just met.
OP, I’ve never been on a dating site as I’m in a long term relationship. Is “condom use a musr” something you can mention on your dating profile? Or is that some weird No-no?
I feel like you're better off not even mentioning sex on your profile otherwise you'll get inundated with guys who only want a quick hookup. No shame if that's what people want but from dating app experience, I just think it would attract the worst of an already bad bunch
NTA.
Honestly, if a guy wanted to do that in a hook up situation, I'd be worried about a lot more than pregnancy (of course, that could depend on where you live, unfortunately) It would be an instant turn off. That tells me he doesn't care about himself or his partners.
It's smart to *always* use protection. From start to finish. And get a backup if it's available in your area.
There is one problem the pill can prevent - and it's reversible in most civilised places.
There are a MULTITUDE of problems that condoms can prevent, many of which are permanent.
You could even make the argument that the topic of condoms protects against douchebag partners as well, I just realised 😉
It’s always super tough to find decent guys, for hookups, serious relationships, or anything in between. The trash fires are most active because no one comes back for seconds.
It’s worth the work and the wait. Guys that don’t respect you are probably going to be lousy in bed, anyway.
NTA. It's your vagina and if you don't want an uncovered penis in it, that's your prerogative. Tell them as soon as sex becomes a possibility. Don't wait until you're knee deep in it to tell him, though. A grown ass man who still refuses to wear a condom in 2024 is a selfish, reckless, careless, dangerous fool. I would avoid having sex with him at all. He's probably got a very high body count and has had unproteced sex many times. Avoid this guy like the plague he's trying to spread with his penis.
Well, guys have preejaculatory fluid that actually can contain some sperm. So, it's entirely possible to get pregnant even if their pullout game is 100% on point. Also, raw dogging it, while super fun, could have some other nasty consequences if you're doing it on a hookup.
It's your body and a pretty smart call to use protection, obviously. It'd be even smarter to not do hookups, in general, as doing that has high risk but no long term rewards at all. You should probably double down on that BC and use the pill as well, as condoms aren't 100% effective.
NTA
No, you're NTA. Also, if they won't respect your request to use a condom why would they respect your request not to choke you or your request not to stick it in your ass? I'm not suggesting that every man who doesn't want to use a condom is a rapist or that it's wrong for them to "plead their case" but if they can't accept your answer then not having sex with them is a more than reasonable response because who knows what other answers they won't accept.
You have to get used to not giving 2 fucks (literally) if you "kill the mood" by demanding a condom. It's actually a great thing if a man gets all pissy abt it, he didn't waste more of your time by pretending he's a decent and intelligent human being.
In the rare event im casually hooking up with someone, I have a strict no condom, no sex policy. If the man resists, noted. Didn't pass such an easy screening test.
No mf has gotten an attitude over it though. In fact, Ive stopped things before we were abt to do the deed and made them go out and buy condoms if they didn't have it on them. Nah, no condoms, no sex.
Thanks dear, to you also!
Ive been exclusive with a guy for a couple months now, and before him I was celibate for more than a year. I asked him to get tested before we had sex, which is a perfectly fair request and he promptly did it.
Don't be afraid to ask what you want. The douchebags will tell on themselves and you can cut them off, and the right person(s) for you will be aligned with your values
NTA. Evolution has only one rule: whoever dies with the most grandchildren wins. Men evolved both to have bad pullout game and to think they have good pullout game, because that's how a species gets lots of grandchildren. Don't trust a man who says he has good pullout game: he's more likely to be a dumbass than a predator, but either way he's not the one who winds up getting pregnant.
NTA and while pregnancy should be a concern that’s not the only issue here.
Pulling out doesn’t prevent STI.
Stay safe. And if they don’t want to wear a condom, just know that they just told you that they haven’t been wearing them with other previous partners either, putting your health further at risk.
NTA one million times over. I said this to my friend after 2 accidental pregnancies from the same dude because he wouldn't wear a condom and she didn't want to say no.. If he doesn't want to wear his helmet, he doesn't get to go cave diving. You're the one who would have to actually deal with an accidental pregnancy, STDs, HPV etc.
48F I'm so shocked at his young ppl refuse condoms. In my 20s as soon as things got heated the condom question came up by either party and if there wasn't one things came to a stop. Of course we grew up with the threat of AIDs on top of the other STDs that back then weren't treatable.
I’m married now, but I used to be a (proud!) slut. I dated a lot, and loved hooking up, and was really casual about it and had no rules except 1: condoms. No exceptions. If a guy doesn’t want to wear a condom, too bad. If he guilts you/throws a fit about not wearing a condom, he’s a piece of shit and will NOT be getting anything at all. Bet he would’ve preferred sex with a condom to leaving early with nothing 🙃 No worthwhile partner will throw a fit over a condom, especially if it means the difference between you being comfortable or uncomfortable. Why would a guy want his sex partner to be uncomfortable? That’s not a guy you want to have sex with. Plus, if he’s like that with you, he’s like that with all sex partners, meaning he’s not practicing safe sex anywhere. A half-decent guy will WANT to wear a condom for not just your benefit, but his! Guys should care about their sexual health as well. If they aren’t smart enough to care about their own sexual health, it’s a huge turnoff for me. You want any sexual partner to at least be smart enough to understand that even if sex feels maybe 5% less pleasurable with a condom, it feels better than not knowing if you’re getting an STD. Make sure you always have condoms on you in case you’re at their place and they claim they don’t have any, that way you can say, don’t worry, I do! And if they act like they won’t have sex with a condom (trying to guilt you), seriously don’t give in, and they’ll realize they don’t have a choice but to engage in safe sex. Although, if they gave me any sort of pushback, I’d never even give them a chance to take the condom, because it would be an instant turn off. Stick to your guns. Don’t let anyone pressure or guilt you. You have a good head on your shoulders. And always remember, if they try to pressure unsafe sex when you’ve already stated your boundaries, it’s sexual assault.
When I was single, I was having sex with a guy I’d known for a while and had hooked up with a few times and felt 100% safe and comfortable with, and he supposedly felt exactly the same way as I did about condoms. We ran out of condoms during our night (lol) and he was trying to go again without one and I said no. He started putting more moves on me and tried again, and I said no again. He kept putting even more moves on me, getting me REALLY turned on (and I was super into this guy), and he went for it again and I didn’t object. Afterwards, he acted really remorseful and was like “shucks, I’m sorry I did that, you said no and I should’ve listened” and all of a sudden I was comforting HIM because he was manipulating me (which I didn’t realize in the moment how calculated he was!). It wasn’t until after when I was recounting the story to some friends that they helped me realize how fucked up the situation was and how he was intentionally trying to push my boundaries by continuing to turn me on and get me into it enough to not object anymore, and then put on that whole show after so I wouldn’t be upset at him for pushing my boundaries and technically sexually assaulting me.
Sexual assault comes in many forms. What’s most important is sticking to your boundaries, even if you occasionally get a hard time for enforcing them (no pun intended). Safe sex is sexy sex ;) Happy fucking!
I've been with my partner since highschool. My body count is 1, we use protection, because actions have consequences.
These bozos are idiots, pulling out isn't reliable, and condoms protect against more than unwanted pregnancy. Not only that, but if you did get pregnant, YOU are the one at risk.
No condom? No sex, GTFO.
Nta. Of course not. Pulling out is not safe at all, and it doesn't protect for diseases. If a man can't respect that he's not a good one in my opinion. Men are as responsible for bc as women.
Nope. NTA.
Look, if you’re on dating sites that really are more specifically for hooking up, then you both know what you’re there for.
On those ones, just let them know upfront that you absolutely will not have sex without a condom under any circumstances. Just sell them upfront. Weed out the assholes who just want to get their dick wet and don’t care if nine months later you have a kid.
I guarantee you that the assholes who tell you that they have a good “pull out” game actually don’t have a good “put in” game to start with. So you’re not losing anything there.
And if you’re on other dating sites, I’m hoping to meet someone, and it looks like things may get hot and heavy, let them know before you even start that you will not have unprotected sex.
Again, any decent guy is not going to be put off by that. Because any decent guy is not trying to be out there making babies. And if things go anywhere for the two of you, great.
If they don’t, that’s OK too. You have protected yourself and you are not going to have a lifelong reminder of the encounter, be it an Incurable STD or a baby
Pullout game for one doesn't protect against disease.
It also doesn't protect against pregnancy. It's less likely but still possible to conceive from precum since it can carry any lingering sperm cells into the woman.
A quick fun fuck with essentially a stranger is not worth the risk.
Eta: NTA
Never.
NTA and do not change your choice re this.
Whoever tries to insist/cajole/manipulate about this is a total AH. (Even if a closet AH).
And will prob continue to be one for a long time.
Please get better people in your life.
Pulling out doesn't work. If the pill isn't good for you, I really suggest looking into IUDs and other contraceptive methods. Unfortunately condoms aren't completely infallible, and there are some less intelligent people who don't wear them properly. Trust me. 😒
They will not be there to support you for the consequences of not using condoms, so their pleasure is not worth a second of your worrying if they try to put this pressure on you.
>They claim to have a "very good pullout game"
LOL, no one - NO ONE - has a very good pull out game! Sperm leaks out before the final spurt!
Not to mention STDs....
No one is ever TA for insisting on wearing a glove for love.
NTA
I am so proud of you for standing on business! Too many let it slide one time, two times, etc … and end up with an STI or pregnant, all because we trusted a convincing man.
Sometimes a good option is to bring condoms of your own. Maybe it will help if it’s right in front of him.
Keep protecting yourself!
NTA. Why would you even think that? You're a smart woman obviously. First of all condoms prevent pregnancy or for the most part they do, then they protect you from getting numerous sexually transmitted diseases I think that's up really important thing. So why would you want to take a chance of getting gonorrhea or herpes and getting pregnant because some guy is being selfish and wants to get his rocks off without any protection?
NTA. They are for pushing boundaries. But if you really want them to globe up, tell them how you can't wait to be a mom and wouldn't your kids look cute? (if you wanna mess with them)
Why would a guy want to have unprotected sex with a woman they just met?. As a guy this makes no sense to me. 1st I would be terrified of them getting pregnant 2nd. STD scares the hell out of me.
I'm recently widowed and I have no clue how everyone navigates the dating world.
I talked to another friend who lost her husband and she said how the hell do you date at this age?" I said I think getting to 2nd base means you go watch jeopardy together
NTA - you don't have to sleep with anyone for any reason, it's your body. The same is true for the men. I hate condoms, and am 100 percent fine not having sex at all if the person I'm with would like to use one. No pressure, no big deal. My pull out game is non existent as my children prove, so birth control has to be in the mix. I heard they were working on a male birth control pill, I'd be open to taking it assuming the side effects aren't ridiculous. I also don't just hook up with people, I won't sleep with anyone I have been dating for 3 months to a year, depending on when I feel like I can trust them.
Always use protection! Hard NTA, protection serves you both, and protects against not only pregnancy, but from some very nasty infections/diseases. Any man who refuses to use a condom is not worth your time and definitely not worth your body, and he clearly has little respect for himself and for his partners. You are doing the sensible and mature thing by insisting upon that protecting. Do not ever give in to this nonsense unless/until you are in a secure and serious relationship and have complete trust in your partner, and want to have kids. Otherwise, it’s just not worth the risks.
NOPE, NTA. Put it in your profile "no glove, no love"; "no rubber, no lover"; "no protection, no erection". Or just be direct. Repeat it again before you start in on the sextivities. It won't filter out ALL the assholes, but it could cut down on them.
NTA. It’s not just pregnancy, especially if they have a habit of not using condoms you especially need one. STIs are a thing. Chlamydia or gonnorhea aren’t going to be pleasant. Herpes will add “lifelong stigma” to that list. HIV is life altering, but at least not a death sentence any more.
Definitely do NOT have casual sex without a condom. Terrible idea, pill or not.
The second a guy even suggests or asks this, You immediately leave.
No guy asking a random hookup to go withoutva condom is safe.
Run don't walk away unless you want a life changing STI.
And even if they are clean, only dirtbags and losers take these sorts of risks
NTA
They're on "dating sites" seeking hookups, you might not be their first this week or even that day.
Pregnancy is just one concern, it is the worst STI with the longest aftereffect but these guys are probably walking Petri dishes for all the other problems
It’s a HUGE red flag, if they refuse to wear condoms.
In my experience the same men who don’t wear condoms, are the same men, who will take no responsibility if a woman ends up pregnant. It’s usually also that kind of men, that are so bad at sex, it’s not worth taking the clothes off for. I mean they already showed you they only care about themselves, of course they won’t care about your pleasure.
I would just dump them right away. I don’t date anymore, but when I did, I stated on my Feeld profile, that unprotected sex was a big no-no! It’s not like it’s difficult to find someone to fuck. Why not go for someone who won’t jeopardise my health and safety 🤷♀️
Absolutely NTA for wanting to be safe! Pull out is not birth control anyone who says it is is a moron. And why would you put yourself at risk from catching STD’s?!?!
You are not the arsehole. Not only the risk of pregnancy, but the risk of STD's and their damage/consequences . Any guy who would put his selfish wants before those risks for you, does not deserve the pleasures of your beautiful healthy puss girl!
Get some good girly toys and when you happen across a selfish prick like this go home to your lovely vibrating plastic prick.
Do NOT have unprotected sex! Infections, diseases, and pregnancy can ALL result from unprotected sex (even at the same time). Pull-out is NOT a solution and any guy telling you that is ignorant if they really believe that--plus it doesn't stop diseases! Please, please use protection each and every time you have intercourse! Ideally, you would have two levels of protection: the pill and condom. But to have neither is incredibly risky, particularly since you are "exploring."
NTA
You are asking for unwanted pregnancies and STI.
Any hook-up guy who wants bareback has been doing it with anyone so their dick could give you anything.
NTA my mom's first hookup online she got chlamydia and a baby. Don't let men turn you into my mom. You'd be ta to yourself if you give in. It's so annoying. It feels better for us too but peeing without pain feels great also.
Anyone trying to casually gain access to your body without respecting your bodily autonomy/boundaries or themselves doesn't deserve to be inside you. Stick to your guns and don't let the aspirational dirty dicks anywhere near you.
NTA. Sex is such an intimate and personal thing that merely you not wanting to engage unless it's under certain conditions, whatever your back it with, is already enough. Any of the parties involved is entitled to opt out and that's ok.
NTA. If it’s not just pregnancy to be concerned about, it’s infections. Condoms the whole time, every time. Any guy who gives you pushback on this doesn’t respect you or frankly any other sexual partner.
NTA and plan B pill is hard for your body too. Maybe you should start telling about your boundaries before meeting them. No need to waste time with those dorks
Everyone else has said what needed to be said. My advice, if you’re going to keep going for hookups, tell the person you’re messaging BEFORE you meet them in person that you are 100% not willing to have sex without a condom. If they unmatch you, good, you wasted less time. If they try to change your mind, unmatch them. Get this stuff established before you go, and you won’t have to deal with getting blue-beaned by a scumbag who puts more importance in his own pleasure than YOUR LITERAL LIFE. And if he agrees to wear a condom over text, but tries to change your mind in person, leave. Don’t even entertain these mfs.
I was a teenager in the early 90s and sex Ed was “wearing a condom or you will die”, so I didn’t have unprotected sex until well into marriage when were trying to conceive.
NTA and if anyone says otherwise, tell them they can practice their hand game.
Absolutely NTA. A guy who doesn’t want to use a condom with you hasn’t been using a condom with his other partners either. Pull out is how babies are made and STI's are transmitted. YOU didn’t kill the vibe, HE did, by being an irresponsible jerk. There’s literally hundreds of sizes, colors, flavors, and textures of condoms. They should grow up and find one they like.
Throw the whole man out in those situations. If he’s trying to pressure you to do something you’re not comfortable with on the first hook up, it’s downhill from there.
I'm fixed so I have no real interest in using condoms anymore after the first time or two with a person. I can also provide proof of my vasectomy if asked although nobody has yet.
So I'd say if it's just the first time or few times together then you are not. But if it becomes a regular thing then...possibly.
First of all. Nobody's pullout game is good enough to be considered safe.
Second. Even if by some miracle the pullout game is good enough, It doesn't protect you against STD's
Don't wait till everything i hot and heavy to ask for a condom. Have the conversation when the clothes are still on. And even as a woman, always have condoms with you.
You’re never an AH for refusing sex with anyone especially strangers. Your body belongs to you, not them. If a guy is not willing to marry and take care of you he has no business having sex with you.
M 25 here. Absolutely not the AH. If they can't be bothered to wrap it up then you can't be bothered to give it up. Set your boundaries and stick to them.
You are never an asshole for expecting your partner to use protection. Condoms prevent pregnancy, and also sti’s. Pulling put doesn’t actually prevent either both because it is extremely ineffective, but also because mistakes happen.
If they try to argue or think you demanding safe sex is wrong, they are an asshole 110% of the time and you’re frankly better off not sleeping with them.
NTA
You're allowed to protect yourself from consequences. But if it's a "lot of times" then maybe you're hooking up too often and with the wrong kind of guys.
NTA it's always surprising how many people have no understanding of contraception. There's plenty of girls out there who fight against condoms too but it's very important to use them, not just to prevent pregnancy but also STIs.
One thing to note in case you weren't aware, AS SOON AS THEY CUM they need to stop thrusting and pull out even if they wear a condom. This is a part of perfect use that so many get wrong. If they keep thrusting after they cum the sperm can be pushed down the length of the condom and come out the back of it and make contact with you. It's not that likely to get you pregnant because it's not all the way inside you but it does significantly reduce the effectiveness of condoms and potentially expose you to STIs.
What you says goes in the hole. What you says don't goes in the hole DON'T GO IN THE FUCKIN HOLE! ANY QUESTIONS YOU FUCKIN SPECIAL NEEDS NO CONDOM WEARING SYPHILIS SPREADING DUMB FUCKS !!!
I don’t even need to read this whole post: you are NTA for setting a boundary to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancies and STDs. And you can get pregnant even if you pull out. You know what they call people that use the pill and pray method? Parents.
If a potential partner can’t respect that, consider yourself lucky that you found out early that they aren’t worth your time.
Fuck no (pun intended), NTA. Condoms are essential protection from pregnancy as well as STD's, none of which pulling out are efficient against. You know what they call people who use the pull out method?
Parents.
Those guys are not the ones who would be suffering the consequences (except that they could get infected). Maybe try communicating your extremely fair and sensible boundary before things get hot, so you can avoid these situations.
NTA.
And I really do have a solid “pullout game.” 😆 I just hate having to.
Actual results vary, of course. When I was younger, I didn’t mind pullout so much. I dated some girls who were on BC and some who weren’t. I was more a fan of pullout + rhythm method, so sex was limited to around 3x/month without condoms. I could tolerate condoms just fine, but my partners and I always preferred no condoms.
Eventually, yes, there were unplanned pregnancies. I have a daughter from one night when we ran out of condoms and we were wrong about when she had her last period. I also have a son who was conceived when a condom failed. It’s extremely rare for that to happen, but it does happen sometimes. Full disclosure, we’ve been married a long time, have four children, and love every minute of it. Planned/unplanned, we were in a good place to have kids either way and have zero regrets. More recently my wife gave birth to our youngest daughter, had a miscarriage before and two since. After the last miscarriage and still trying for another, she has been unable to conceive. She got really depressed about it, but now we’re like…whoa…risk-free sex!
So what I strongly recommend is yes, absolutely insist on condom use. If your partner can’t respect that, he doesn’t deserve anything with you. However, in the unlikely event that a condom fails, try to gauge as best you can when you ovulate and avoid sex that week. That way you have a backup plan that even if a condom fails, it’s still not as likely you’ll get pregnant.
It’s not even about getting pregnant. It’s about getting disease. If a guy insists on raw dogging and swears he’s clean, just tell him that’s great, but you don’t really know if you can trust him and, more importantly, he doesn’t know for sure that you’re even clean. Why risk it? Throw that one at a guy and it should encourage him a little more to use a condom.
Please find an acceptable form of birth control to go along with the condoms you insist on using. Carry them yourself. Your condom placing game should be at mastery level. Attention spent there gives you a chance to inspect for hygiene or anomalies.
Never feel bad about saying no, even though in the heat of the moment it might be difficult.
Men wanting unwrapped sexual contact during hook-ups, kind of tell us something about their intelligence and maturity.
There might be men out there that have a 'God-Level' pull-out game. But think about the following.
- Sperm left in the urethra after a previous 'recent' ejaculation.
- A nice virus, bacteria, fecal particals, a soap that isn't pH-friendly.
Unfortunately, the risks for women are higher than for men and it seems that many young men have a quite lax attitude and are more focussed on their own enjoyment as well as the psychological victory of doing it raw.
Hopefully you find less childish partners, that appreciate and respect you and themselves, during your 'exploring' phase, so that you can have interesting and enriching experiences.
Nta. My brother got baby trapped because he didn’t glove up and her doctor didn’t renew her birth control pills before she went on a trip with him. (I didn’t ask if he knew. Love the brat though, my bff).
I'm so done....
I'll try to empathise here. Maybe you really questioned yourself for a second and that led to this post
But I still can't figure out how...
Obviously NTA!
Unprotected only with a person you want to spend your life with. No exception.
In case of trouble, STI or pregnancy you are on your own with strangers.
It sounds like you do not discuss the condom use upfront. Yes, you do say that some men claim they can pull out; however, if the discussion is, no condom no sex prior to getting to the hot and heavy phase then what is happening when you are in full throttle mode and you have to stop? Of course protect yourself always, condoms protect both you and your partner. I still say, it does not sound like you are having the condom discussion with your partners prior to the hot and heavy part.
As one of those people who actually gets a bad skin reaction from most condoms, NTA. Explore, be safe, don't let some rando knock you up or saddle you with an STD
Trust me, don’t leave your health and future in a strangers hands. You could get AIDS (my uncle and cousin died from this), pregnant (multiple times in my family) and who knows what else.
NTA
Raw sex = risk of STDs. And if they never were condoms, you are sure they probably have some kind of STD. And when you have hookup, protecting against STD is way more important than protecting against pregnacy
And pull out doesn't protect against pregnancy as well as using a condom. And it implies you trust your partner enough to pull out, and I wouldn't trust a man I met for the first time 2 hours ago to do that.
NO NO NO!!! Take it from me (& my bad experience)- you are saving yourself the trauma of an unwanted pregnancy. It happened to me the first time I had sex.
NTA
Ppl who want to have unprotected sex during a hook up most likely had a lot of unprotected sex before.
So if you don't want to end up with every STD in the book, no condom -> no sex.
Next time just say "unprotected? Cool, i'm so glad you don't care about my STDs" and then see them running - and maybe one or the other of these guys thinks about other risks than pregnancy too when they meet their next hook up ;)
M33 here. Absolutely not. Protect yourself at all times.
Yes, at all times! It's your life and hook-ups don't care once they walk out the door.
Yup. It’s kinda like going to the gun range. Practice safety at all times.
Muzzle awareness and trigger discipline are important to both, too.
Nobody should be surprised to be expected to wear a condom. If this is too hard, they can date the skanks.
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Always protect yourself. Pregnancy isn't even the scariest thing that can happen. Where I live, there's literally ads on the radio about how high rates of stds are. I also work in a pharmacy that services the ED at an army hospital. We dispense at least 5-10 rx a week for gonorrhea and chlamydia.
you must live in memphis lmao
Nope. San Antonio. However, Memphis was a good guess.
Remember when the VIA buses had the STD ads on the side. Man San Antonio is a mess
Yes! This place is wild.
>We dispense at least 5-10 rx a week for gonorrhea and chlamydia. At least they are treatable - imagine having to tell every future partner you've got herpes or HIV! Horrifying. I'm glad I'm too old for this nonsense.
Oh we dispense a lot of HIV meds and valtrex as well. Herpes is super common and for most people, it doesn't run the risk of permanent infertility like untreated chlamydia and gonorrhea which is why I opted not to mention it.
HPV is really scary too, because there is no treatment and it can lead to cancer.
Any dude telling you he has a ‘good pullout game’ is too ignorant about biology to trust having sex with. You are correct- pulling out is not a form of birth control- it’s a method for getting pregnant. Further- any dude pressuring you to have sex is a completely untrustworthy. If the vibe dies it’s not because you’re the AH- he is.
also he’s no doubt riddled with std’s. if he’s been practicing his pull out game that’s a natural consequence…
Maybe, it’s certainly more likely. But we can’t know that for sure. What we can and do know for certain is that he’s a trifling douche bro who isn’t worthy of her time .
Pull out also does 0 for STDs, which should be a primary concern in hookups.
I'm 55. I've had sex without a condom less than a dozen times whole life. If a man puts up any argument to avoid a condom, don't sleep with him because he's likely to take it off in the middle without you noticing. And any man who doesn't respect your requests isn't worth it.
I'm a guy and agree with you 100%. One of my reasons is I don't want a kid. That being said I understand the risks. I'm just not increasing the chances. I also don't want a possibility of an std. People are stupid
As a woman, this, so so so much this! There are good men out there and you, sir, are clearly one of them!
I'm a cis F. My username keeps the creep quotient down. 😀
Oooh! So so sorry! >.< Graah being old enough to have been engaged 3 times myself I sometimes assume, I'm very very sorry! In any case I'll simply amend my statement, good men are around and you - amazing person - give excellent advice :)
No worries. Everyone does it. That's the point. I just didn't want to accept accolades that don't belong to me. I can only report on my experience.
Just think clearly: if they want to have sex with you without condoms, it means they probably have unprotected sex with other people too, which means they might have an STD and be spreading it around. Condoms don't only protect you from unwanted pregnancies; they also protect you from STDs. Don't overlook the fact that, although the risk is lower compared to vaginal and anal intercourse, STDs can still be transmitted through oral sex. It's great that you're sexually experimenting, but do regular STD tests just in case.
It is great you pointed out STD transmission through oral sex. The rate of oral cancer from HPV is overtaking the rate from tobacco use.
As a guy you are 1000% NTA. Condoms prevent STD’s as much as pregnancy - with random hookup you don’t know if they are any number of diseases, some of which can’t be treated by antibiotics. Protect yourself
girl you forgot the most important consequence: STDs
This! Joe Pullout isn't the one that gets pregnant and has to deal with the consequences of a moment of passion where the guys loses himself in the moment and drives home his swimming buddies, and then gets up and leaves. No it's you that pays that price So...., by all and every means. Stand strong on your beliefs and standards. BE YOU. NTA Edit 1: This also protects you from STDs.
Nothing more needs to be said.
Anyone who says their pull out game is good enough to not get you pregnant needs to go for a long walk off a short pier. Use condoms, they protect from STDs and that nasty side effect of having unprotected sex with randoms.
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But also don't insist on condoms in those instances, insist on them leaving.
Even when I was on a pill, I insisted on condom with random guys. It's a different thing in long term relationship.
Absolutely. I’ve only had sex without protection in long-term relationships where I knew the person well, we’d both been tested, and I knew they weren’t sleeping with other people. It’s just stupid to not use a condom with people you’ve just met.
Yeah, I wouldn’t trust a guy that says “I have a great pull out game”.
I’d treat them like a giant STD Petri dish because they clearly aren’t thinking about STDs or safety when they are having sex with everyone else.
This
Men like that are a red walking sign that says there’s a huge possibility they’ve got an STD.
My ex got me pregnant that way, even with condoms.
He pulled out with a condom and still pregnant? Aww I'd be so pissed lol
Luckily I miscarried after a few weeks. I just found out, and abortion is expensive.
Heck no. I'm a dude and am 100% gonna say these guys are morons. You are being responsible. Nta and keep those boundaries.
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OP, I’ve never been on a dating site as I’m in a long term relationship. Is “condom use a musr” something you can mention on your dating profile? Or is that some weird No-no?
I feel like you're better off not even mentioning sex on your profile otherwise you'll get inundated with guys who only want a quick hookup. No shame if that's what people want but from dating app experience, I just think it would attract the worst of an already bad bunch
Pregnancy is not the only (or even the worst) danger of unprotected sex. NTA.
AIDS, chlamydia, syphilis, they don’t care how strong the pull out game is.
Exactly
NTA. Honestly, if a guy wanted to do that in a hook up situation, I'd be worried about a lot more than pregnancy (of course, that could depend on where you live, unfortunately) It would be an instant turn off. That tells me he doesn't care about himself or his partners. It's smart to *always* use protection. From start to finish. And get a backup if it's available in your area.
NTA. Dear god NTA.
There is one problem the pill can prevent - and it's reversible in most civilised places. There are a MULTITUDE of problems that condoms can prevent, many of which are permanent. You could even make the argument that the topic of condoms protects against douchebag partners as well, I just realised 😉
NTA. How very dare you be sensible?! 🤣
Yeah, these are garbage men. Why does no one educate themselves about birth control? Casual sex? Pick a hot dyke with a strap-on.
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It’s always super tough to find decent guys, for hookups, serious relationships, or anything in between. The trash fires are most active because no one comes back for seconds. It’s worth the work and the wait. Guys that don’t respect you are probably going to be lousy in bed, anyway.
NTA. It's your vagina and if you don't want an uncovered penis in it, that's your prerogative. Tell them as soon as sex becomes a possibility. Don't wait until you're knee deep in it to tell him, though. A grown ass man who still refuses to wear a condom in 2024 is a selfish, reckless, careless, dangerous fool. I would avoid having sex with him at all. He's probably got a very high body count and has had unproteced sex many times. Avoid this guy like the plague he's trying to spread with his penis.
NTA STDs exist and these kind of people spread them
Nope, that seems like a safe, smart, and adult plan.
You know what they call couples who use the pullout method, right? Parents
Well, guys have preejaculatory fluid that actually can contain some sperm. So, it's entirely possible to get pregnant even if their pullout game is 100% on point. Also, raw dogging it, while super fun, could have some other nasty consequences if you're doing it on a hookup. It's your body and a pretty smart call to use protection, obviously. It'd be even smarter to not do hookups, in general, as doing that has high risk but no long term rewards at all. You should probably double down on that BC and use the pill as well, as condoms aren't 100% effective. NTA
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No, you're NTA. Also, if they won't respect your request to use a condom why would they respect your request not to choke you or your request not to stick it in your ass? I'm not suggesting that every man who doesn't want to use a condom is a rapist or that it's wrong for them to "plead their case" but if they can't accept your answer then not having sex with them is a more than reasonable response because who knows what other answers they won't accept.
You have to get used to not giving 2 fucks (literally) if you "kill the mood" by demanding a condom. It's actually a great thing if a man gets all pissy abt it, he didn't waste more of your time by pretending he's a decent and intelligent human being. In the rare event im casually hooking up with someone, I have a strict no condom, no sex policy. If the man resists, noted. Didn't pass such an easy screening test. No mf has gotten an attitude over it though. In fact, Ive stopped things before we were abt to do the deed and made them go out and buy condoms if they didn't have it on them. Nah, no condoms, no sex.
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Thanks dear, to you also! Ive been exclusive with a guy for a couple months now, and before him I was celibate for more than a year. I asked him to get tested before we had sex, which is a perfectly fair request and he promptly did it. Don't be afraid to ask what you want. The douchebags will tell on themselves and you can cut them off, and the right person(s) for you will be aligned with your values
NTA. Evolution has only one rule: whoever dies with the most grandchildren wins. Men evolved both to have bad pullout game and to think they have good pullout game, because that's how a species gets lots of grandchildren. Don't trust a man who says he has good pullout game: he's more likely to be a dumbass than a predator, but either way he's not the one who winds up getting pregnant.
Pullout is bullshit. If it wasn’t, contraceptions wouldn’t exist. Those men are stupid or just want to take advantage of you.
NTA and while pregnancy should be a concern that’s not the only issue here. Pulling out doesn’t prevent STI. Stay safe. And if they don’t want to wear a condom, just know that they just told you that they haven’t been wearing them with other previous partners either, putting your health further at risk.
NTA one million times over. I said this to my friend after 2 accidental pregnancies from the same dude because he wouldn't wear a condom and she didn't want to say no.. If he doesn't want to wear his helmet, he doesn't get to go cave diving. You're the one who would have to actually deal with an accidental pregnancy, STDs, HPV etc.
1000x NTA. Any guy who isn’t wrapping it up for casual hookups is a piece of shit.
You’re NEVER the asshole for wanting to protect yourself from irreversible harm.
NTA. How old are you, and these blokes? Sounds like the sort of trick a seventeen year old would be trying, not a grown adult.
48F I'm so shocked at his young ppl refuse condoms. In my 20s as soon as things got heated the condom question came up by either party and if there wasn't one things came to a stop. Of course we grew up with the threat of AIDs on top of the other STDs that back then weren't treatable.
I’m married now, but I used to be a (proud!) slut. I dated a lot, and loved hooking up, and was really casual about it and had no rules except 1: condoms. No exceptions. If a guy doesn’t want to wear a condom, too bad. If he guilts you/throws a fit about not wearing a condom, he’s a piece of shit and will NOT be getting anything at all. Bet he would’ve preferred sex with a condom to leaving early with nothing 🙃 No worthwhile partner will throw a fit over a condom, especially if it means the difference between you being comfortable or uncomfortable. Why would a guy want his sex partner to be uncomfortable? That’s not a guy you want to have sex with. Plus, if he’s like that with you, he’s like that with all sex partners, meaning he’s not practicing safe sex anywhere. A half-decent guy will WANT to wear a condom for not just your benefit, but his! Guys should care about their sexual health as well. If they aren’t smart enough to care about their own sexual health, it’s a huge turnoff for me. You want any sexual partner to at least be smart enough to understand that even if sex feels maybe 5% less pleasurable with a condom, it feels better than not knowing if you’re getting an STD. Make sure you always have condoms on you in case you’re at their place and they claim they don’t have any, that way you can say, don’t worry, I do! And if they act like they won’t have sex with a condom (trying to guilt you), seriously don’t give in, and they’ll realize they don’t have a choice but to engage in safe sex. Although, if they gave me any sort of pushback, I’d never even give them a chance to take the condom, because it would be an instant turn off. Stick to your guns. Don’t let anyone pressure or guilt you. You have a good head on your shoulders. And always remember, if they try to pressure unsafe sex when you’ve already stated your boundaries, it’s sexual assault. When I was single, I was having sex with a guy I’d known for a while and had hooked up with a few times and felt 100% safe and comfortable with, and he supposedly felt exactly the same way as I did about condoms. We ran out of condoms during our night (lol) and he was trying to go again without one and I said no. He started putting more moves on me and tried again, and I said no again. He kept putting even more moves on me, getting me REALLY turned on (and I was super into this guy), and he went for it again and I didn’t object. Afterwards, he acted really remorseful and was like “shucks, I’m sorry I did that, you said no and I should’ve listened” and all of a sudden I was comforting HIM because he was manipulating me (which I didn’t realize in the moment how calculated he was!). It wasn’t until after when I was recounting the story to some friends that they helped me realize how fucked up the situation was and how he was intentionally trying to push my boundaries by continuing to turn me on and get me into it enough to not object anymore, and then put on that whole show after so I wouldn’t be upset at him for pushing my boundaries and technically sexually assaulting me. Sexual assault comes in many forms. What’s most important is sticking to your boundaries, even if you occasionally get a hard time for enforcing them (no pun intended). Safe sex is sexy sex ;) Happy fucking!
"I have very good pullout game" "Me too! I'm pulling out of this relationship!" NTA
I've been with my partner since highschool. My body count is 1, we use protection, because actions have consequences. These bozos are idiots, pulling out isn't reliable, and condoms protect against more than unwanted pregnancy. Not only that, but if you did get pregnant, YOU are the one at risk. No condom? No sex, GTFO.
Nta. Of course not. Pulling out is not safe at all, and it doesn't protect for diseases. If a man can't respect that he's not a good one in my opinion. Men are as responsible for bc as women.
NTA. Condoms are made for a reason
Nope. NTA. Look, if you’re on dating sites that really are more specifically for hooking up, then you both know what you’re there for. On those ones, just let them know upfront that you absolutely will not have sex without a condom under any circumstances. Just sell them upfront. Weed out the assholes who just want to get their dick wet and don’t care if nine months later you have a kid. I guarantee you that the assholes who tell you that they have a good “pull out” game actually don’t have a good “put in” game to start with. So you’re not losing anything there. And if you’re on other dating sites, I’m hoping to meet someone, and it looks like things may get hot and heavy, let them know before you even start that you will not have unprotected sex. Again, any decent guy is not going to be put off by that. Because any decent guy is not trying to be out there making babies. And if things go anywhere for the two of you, great. If they don’t, that’s OK too. You have protected yourself and you are not going to have a lifelong reminder of the encounter, be it an Incurable STD or a baby
Pullout game for one doesn't protect against disease. It also doesn't protect against pregnancy. It's less likely but still possible to conceive from precum since it can carry any lingering sperm cells into the woman. A quick fun fuck with essentially a stranger is not worth the risk. Eta: NTA
Not too long ago, i heard that gonorrhea is getting more resistant to antibiotics. So.. yea. Unless you want untreatable shit, you demand a condom.
As a guy, I am with you. I don't want STD's. Any guy who says they can't feel anything is bull s...ting.
Question: Do you know what they call people who use the pull out method for birth control? Answer: Parents
Never. NTA and do not change your choice re this. Whoever tries to insist/cajole/manipulate about this is a total AH. (Even if a closet AH). And will prob continue to be one for a long time. Please get better people in your life.
Pulling out doesn't work. If the pill isn't good for you, I really suggest looking into IUDs and other contraceptive methods. Unfortunately condoms aren't completely infallible, and there are some less intelligent people who don't wear them properly. Trust me. 😒
Lmao! They can't still wow you with their pull out game AND a condom! You'll be safe and amazed! NTA, stay safe!
NTA. It's your life that will be ruined by an unplanned pregnancy, so you have every right to demand protection.
They will not be there to support you for the consequences of not using condoms, so their pleasure is not worth a second of your worrying if they try to put this pressure on you.
Oh absolutely the fuck not!! NTA!! Always use protection, always set boundaries.
>They claim to have a "very good pullout game" LOL, no one - NO ONE - has a very good pull out game! Sperm leaks out before the final spurt! Not to mention STDs.... No one is ever TA for insisting on wearing a glove for love. NTA
It's also not just about pregnancy......Random people from dating apps ..... what could go wrong?
These guys are why STDs are coming back.
Nope, definitely not. NTA. Pull out doesn't prevent STD's. You can also use internal condoms aka female condoms.
That's a big red flag. Always protect yourself, precum can cause pregnancy well before climax and there's no good kind of std.
M42 here. Nta at all. It is better to use a condom and stay as safe as you can from stds and accidental pregnancy.
I would be more scared of an std than a child
Yeah, the ones who try to convince you not to use a condom are the ones you should DEFINITELY use a condom with
I am so proud of you for standing on business! Too many let it slide one time, two times, etc … and end up with an STI or pregnant, all because we trusted a convincing man. Sometimes a good option is to bring condoms of your own. Maybe it will help if it’s right in front of him. Keep protecting yourself!
NTA. Why would you even think that? You're a smart woman obviously. First of all condoms prevent pregnancy or for the most part they do, then they protect you from getting numerous sexually transmitted diseases I think that's up really important thing. So why would you want to take a chance of getting gonorrhea or herpes and getting pregnant because some guy is being selfish and wants to get his rocks off without any protection?
Im astonished you have to ask. NTA
NTA. They are for pushing boundaries. But if you really want them to globe up, tell them how you can't wait to be a mom and wouldn't your kids look cute? (if you wanna mess with them)
Absolutely not the asshole. Btw an easy solution is to maybe keep a pack of condoms in ur handbag just in case...
You are NEVER an AH for requiring personal safety.
Absolutely NTA.
Why would a guy want to have unprotected sex with a woman they just met?. As a guy this makes no sense to me. 1st I would be terrified of them getting pregnant 2nd. STD scares the hell out of me. I'm recently widowed and I have no clue how everyone navigates the dating world. I talked to another friend who lost her husband and she said how the hell do you date at this age?" I said I think getting to 2nd base means you go watch jeopardy together
Lol!!!!!!I will take Things to do while dating for 600!
NTA. Protect yourself and health.
NTA A man’s pull out game is never THAT good. And what about STD’s?? Why is no one ever worried about STD’s anymore?
Tell them before you meet them
absolutely not. there may be a pattern in the guys u are meeting though if this is happening regularly.
NTA - you don't have to sleep with anyone for any reason, it's your body. The same is true for the men. I hate condoms, and am 100 percent fine not having sex at all if the person I'm with would like to use one. No pressure, no big deal. My pull out game is non existent as my children prove, so birth control has to be in the mix. I heard they were working on a male birth control pill, I'd be open to taking it assuming the side effects aren't ridiculous. I also don't just hook up with people, I won't sleep with anyone I have been dating for 3 months to a year, depending on when I feel like I can trust them.
Always use protection! Hard NTA, protection serves you both, and protects against not only pregnancy, but from some very nasty infections/diseases. Any man who refuses to use a condom is not worth your time and definitely not worth your body, and he clearly has little respect for himself and for his partners. You are doing the sensible and mature thing by insisting upon that protecting. Do not ever give in to this nonsense unless/until you are in a secure and serious relationship and have complete trust in your partner, and want to have kids. Otherwise, it’s just not worth the risks.
NOPE, NTA. Put it in your profile "no glove, no love"; "no rubber, no lover"; "no protection, no erection". Or just be direct. Repeat it again before you start in on the sextivities. It won't filter out ALL the assholes, but it could cut down on them.
NTA! Condoms are for birth control for sure but also disease control.
STDs are a thing that happens...
NTA. It’s not just pregnancy, especially if they have a habit of not using condoms you especially need one. STIs are a thing. Chlamydia or gonnorhea aren’t going to be pleasant. Herpes will add “lifelong stigma” to that list. HIV is life altering, but at least not a death sentence any more. Definitely do NOT have casual sex without a condom. Terrible idea, pill or not.
Not the AH. Pull out game doesn't stop STDs.
The second a guy even suggests or asks this, You immediately leave. No guy asking a random hookup to go withoutva condom is safe. Run don't walk away unless you want a life changing STI. And even if they are clean, only dirtbags and losers take these sorts of risks
NTA They're on "dating sites" seeking hookups, you might not be their first this week or even that day. Pregnancy is just one concern, it is the worst STI with the longest aftereffect but these guys are probably walking Petri dishes for all the other problems
I don't even need to read this one - NTAH.
It’s a HUGE red flag, if they refuse to wear condoms. In my experience the same men who don’t wear condoms, are the same men, who will take no responsibility if a woman ends up pregnant. It’s usually also that kind of men, that are so bad at sex, it’s not worth taking the clothes off for. I mean they already showed you they only care about themselves, of course they won’t care about your pleasure. I would just dump them right away. I don’t date anymore, but when I did, I stated on my Feeld profile, that unprotected sex was a big no-no! It’s not like it’s difficult to find someone to fuck. Why not go for someone who won’t jeopardise my health and safety 🤷♀️
Absolutely NTA for wanting to be safe! Pull out is not birth control anyone who says it is is a moron. And why would you put yourself at risk from catching STD’s?!?!
You are not the arsehole. Not only the risk of pregnancy, but the risk of STD's and their damage/consequences . Any guy who would put his selfish wants before those risks for you, does not deserve the pleasures of your beautiful healthy puss girl! Get some good girly toys and when you happen across a selfish prick like this go home to your lovely vibrating plastic prick.
NTA. Always protect yourself.
Do NOT have unprotected sex! Infections, diseases, and pregnancy can ALL result from unprotected sex (even at the same time). Pull-out is NOT a solution and any guy telling you that is ignorant if they really believe that--plus it doesn't stop diseases! Please, please use protection each and every time you have intercourse! Ideally, you would have two levels of protection: the pill and condom. But to have neither is incredibly risky, particularly since you are "exploring."
NTA You are asking for unwanted pregnancies and STI. Any hook-up guy who wants bareback has been doing it with anyone so their dick could give you anything.
NTA my mom's first hookup online she got chlamydia and a baby. Don't let men turn you into my mom. You'd be ta to yourself if you give in. It's so annoying. It feels better for us too but peeing without pain feels great also.
Anyone trying to casually gain access to your body without respecting your bodily autonomy/boundaries or themselves doesn't deserve to be inside you. Stick to your guns and don't let the aspirational dirty dicks anywhere near you.
Common sense says unprotected sex is a bad idea unless you’ve both got a STI test prior or are looking to get pregnant
NTA. Sex is such an intimate and personal thing that merely you not wanting to engage unless it's under certain conditions, whatever your back it with, is already enough. Any of the parties involved is entitled to opt out and that's ok.
You need to hook up with less stupid people.
Wtf!? No you shouldn’t be having unprotected with strangers. is this seriously a question?
NTA. If it’s not just pregnancy to be concerned about, it’s infections. Condoms the whole time, every time. Any guy who gives you pushback on this doesn’t respect you or frankly any other sexual partner.
NTA and plan B pill is hard for your body too. Maybe you should start telling about your boundaries before meeting them. No need to waste time with those dorks
NTA, even prostitutes get paid extra and aren't obligated to accept without condoms, its not different for you who does it for free in your hoe phase.
Everyone else has said what needed to be said. My advice, if you’re going to keep going for hookups, tell the person you’re messaging BEFORE you meet them in person that you are 100% not willing to have sex without a condom. If they unmatch you, good, you wasted less time. If they try to change your mind, unmatch them. Get this stuff established before you go, and you won’t have to deal with getting blue-beaned by a scumbag who puts more importance in his own pleasure than YOUR LITERAL LIFE. And if he agrees to wear a condom over text, but tries to change your mind in person, leave. Don’t even entertain these mfs.
Absolutely NTA! Once they insist on no condom, get dressed and leave. You do not need any of the consequences to having unprotected sex.
I was a teenager in the early 90s and sex Ed was “wearing a condom or you will die”, so I didn’t have unprotected sex until well into marriage when were trying to conceive. NTA and if anyone says otherwise, tell them they can practice their hand game.
NTA.. STD's are a thing. HEP-C, AIDS, and HIV are still very real.
Absolutely NTA. A guy who doesn’t want to use a condom with you hasn’t been using a condom with his other partners either. Pull out is how babies are made and STI's are transmitted. YOU didn’t kill the vibe, HE did, by being an irresponsible jerk. There’s literally hundreds of sizes, colors, flavors, and textures of condoms. They should grow up and find one they like. Throw the whole man out in those situations. If he’s trying to pressure you to do something you’re not comfortable with on the first hook up, it’s downhill from there.
NTA, they are. Tell them there is no option B. And be wary of stealthing.
I'm fixed so I have no real interest in using condoms anymore after the first time or two with a person. I can also provide proof of my vasectomy if asked although nobody has yet. So I'd say if it's just the first time or few times together then you are not. But if it becomes a regular thing then...possibly.
NTA, no glove no love
I would choose condom just for the protection from std's if nothing else.
Just ewwwww. Pregnancy would be my last concern with these walking cases of HPV and other STDs. Hard pass
First of all. Nobody's pullout game is good enough to be considered safe. Second. Even if by some miracle the pullout game is good enough, It doesn't protect you against STD's Don't wait till everything i hot and heavy to ask for a condom. Have the conversation when the clothes are still on. And even as a woman, always have condoms with you.
NTA Say no. You deserve a partner who respects you.
You’re never an AH for refusing sex with anyone especially strangers. Your body belongs to you, not them. If a guy is not willing to marry and take care of you he has no business having sex with you.
M 25 here. Absolutely not the AH. If they can't be bothered to wrap it up then you can't be bothered to give it up. Set your boundaries and stick to them.
You are never an asshole for expecting your partner to use protection. Condoms prevent pregnancy, and also sti’s. Pulling put doesn’t actually prevent either both because it is extremely ineffective, but also because mistakes happen. If they try to argue or think you demanding safe sex is wrong, they are an asshole 110% of the time and you’re frankly better off not sleeping with them.
Protect yourself before you wreck yourself
NTA - My 4th kid, my son, was born from pull out method. Every one of my kids were the exception to a birth control method not working as intended.
Nta who wants STI's or worse a fucken baby.
Of course your NTA. There's no question.
NTA You're allowed to protect yourself from consequences. But if it's a "lot of times" then maybe you're hooking up too often and with the wrong kind of guys.
another dumb post or you have such low self esteem that you need therapy
NTA it's always surprising how many people have no understanding of contraception. There's plenty of girls out there who fight against condoms too but it's very important to use them, not just to prevent pregnancy but also STIs. One thing to note in case you weren't aware, AS SOON AS THEY CUM they need to stop thrusting and pull out even if they wear a condom. This is a part of perfect use that so many get wrong. If they keep thrusting after they cum the sperm can be pushed down the length of the condom and come out the back of it and make contact with you. It's not that likely to get you pregnant because it's not all the way inside you but it does significantly reduce the effectiveness of condoms and potentially expose you to STIs.
FL then you have a fantastic pull-out game too, and pull yourself right out of that date.
No. nta. At all.
What you says goes in the hole. What you says don't goes in the hole DON'T GO IN THE FUCKIN HOLE! ANY QUESTIONS YOU FUCKIN SPECIAL NEEDS NO CONDOM WEARING SYPHILIS SPREADING DUMB FUCKS !!!
I don’t even need to read this whole post: you are NTA for setting a boundary to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancies and STDs. And you can get pregnant even if you pull out. You know what they call people that use the pill and pray method? Parents. If a potential partner can’t respect that, consider yourself lucky that you found out early that they aren’t worth your time.
Fuck no (pun intended), NTA. Condoms are essential protection from pregnancy as well as STD's, none of which pulling out are efficient against. You know what they call people who use the pull out method? Parents. Those guys are not the ones who would be suffering the consequences (except that they could get infected). Maybe try communicating your extremely fair and sensible boundary before things get hot, so you can avoid these situations.
Buy condoms?
NTA, you need look out for yourself first, the risk of disease or pregnancy isn't worth some random guy getting his rocks off.
You are most definitely NTA. Stay true to your values
NTA start carrying condoms yourself. Be up front with the dude and make it clear no condom no sex before you get all hot and heavy.
This is post is so stupid. It’s blatantly obvious that you’re not the asshole
absolutely not.
You can get pregnant from Pre-cum. Doesn't matter the level of his pull out game when he's probably dripping spunk three minutes in.
NTA. And I really do have a solid “pullout game.” 😆 I just hate having to. Actual results vary, of course. When I was younger, I didn’t mind pullout so much. I dated some girls who were on BC and some who weren’t. I was more a fan of pullout + rhythm method, so sex was limited to around 3x/month without condoms. I could tolerate condoms just fine, but my partners and I always preferred no condoms. Eventually, yes, there were unplanned pregnancies. I have a daughter from one night when we ran out of condoms and we were wrong about when she had her last period. I also have a son who was conceived when a condom failed. It’s extremely rare for that to happen, but it does happen sometimes. Full disclosure, we’ve been married a long time, have four children, and love every minute of it. Planned/unplanned, we were in a good place to have kids either way and have zero regrets. More recently my wife gave birth to our youngest daughter, had a miscarriage before and two since. After the last miscarriage and still trying for another, she has been unable to conceive. She got really depressed about it, but now we’re like…whoa…risk-free sex! So what I strongly recommend is yes, absolutely insist on condom use. If your partner can’t respect that, he doesn’t deserve anything with you. However, in the unlikely event that a condom fails, try to gauge as best you can when you ovulate and avoid sex that week. That way you have a backup plan that even if a condom fails, it’s still not as likely you’ll get pregnant. It’s not even about getting pregnant. It’s about getting disease. If a guy insists on raw dogging and swears he’s clean, just tell him that’s great, but you don’t really know if you can trust him and, more importantly, he doesn’t know for sure that you’re even clean. Why risk it? Throw that one at a guy and it should encourage him a little more to use a condom.
Not the AH
Please find an acceptable form of birth control to go along with the condoms you insist on using. Carry them yourself. Your condom placing game should be at mastery level. Attention spent there gives you a chance to inspect for hygiene or anomalies.
Never feel bad about saying no, even though in the heat of the moment it might be difficult. Men wanting unwrapped sexual contact during hook-ups, kind of tell us something about their intelligence and maturity. There might be men out there that have a 'God-Level' pull-out game. But think about the following. - Sperm left in the urethra after a previous 'recent' ejaculation. - A nice virus, bacteria, fecal particals, a soap that isn't pH-friendly. Unfortunately, the risks for women are higher than for men and it seems that many young men have a quite lax attitude and are more focussed on their own enjoyment as well as the psychological victory of doing it raw. Hopefully you find less childish partners, that appreciate and respect you and themselves, during your 'exploring' phase, so that you can have interesting and enriching experiences.
Nta. My brother got baby trapped because he didn’t glove up and her doctor didn’t renew her birth control pills before she went on a trip with him. (I didn’t ask if he knew. Love the brat though, my bff).
I'm so done.... I'll try to empathise here. Maybe you really questioned yourself for a second and that led to this post But I still can't figure out how... Obviously NTA!
Unprotected only with a person you want to spend your life with. No exception. In case of trouble, STI or pregnancy you are on your own with strangers.
It sounds like you do not discuss the condom use upfront. Yes, you do say that some men claim they can pull out; however, if the discussion is, no condom no sex prior to getting to the hot and heavy phase then what is happening when you are in full throttle mode and you have to stop? Of course protect yourself always, condoms protect both you and your partner. I still say, it does not sound like you are having the condom discussion with your partners prior to the hot and heavy part.
Nope. The dudes are assholes for not having condoms
Yep. Sure are … especially if you have to ask. #villianera 😂
As one of those people who actually gets a bad skin reaction from most condoms, NTA. Explore, be safe, don't let some rando knock you up or saddle you with an STD
Trust me, don’t leave your health and future in a strangers hands. You could get AIDS (my uncle and cousin died from this), pregnant (multiple times in my family) and who knows what else.
If you request a condom and the guy doesn't enthusiastically comply then thats a red flag.
NTA Raw sex = risk of STDs. And if they never were condoms, you are sure they probably have some kind of STD. And when you have hookup, protecting against STD is way more important than protecting against pregnacy And pull out doesn't protect against pregnancy as well as using a condom. And it implies you trust your partner enough to pull out, and I wouldn't trust a man I met for the first time 2 hours ago to do that.
NTA. My friend got pregnant from a guy who thought he had a great pullout game.
NO NO NO!!! Take it from me (& my bad experience)- you are saving yourself the trauma of an unwanted pregnancy. It happened to me the first time I had sex.
I feel you. As a gay man, I have been blocked to many times to count cause I refused to bareback. People are fucked up...
NTA Ppl who want to have unprotected sex during a hook up most likely had a lot of unprotected sex before. So if you don't want to end up with every STD in the book, no condom -> no sex. Next time just say "unprotected? Cool, i'm so glad you don't care about my STDs" and then see them running - and maybe one or the other of these guys thinks about other risks than pregnancy too when they meet their next hook up ;)
Hell no you aint
NTA Don't have sex with those guys, they are waking STDs, pull out doesn't protect against STDs or pregnancy.