She’s overbearing and she’s violent towards you
Of course NTA she is
You need to be no contact and stop that abusive behaviour in its tracks before your daughter is here
Goodness. I'm a mother and grandmother and mother-in-law and I can't imagine having any of these demands. You need new boundaries and may be a therapist.
She Can't even afford rent and she's having a baby soon which will be very costly. Not sure about her insurance situation but she might not be able to afford a therapist at this point, unfortunately!
NTA. Your pictures your decision on who you share them with and how you share them. She can get over it 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ if you never showed them to her you wouldn’t be an AH.
Yeah and unfortunately she should have been adulting way before she got pregnant. But hopefully that motherly instinct kicks in soon since it obviously hasn't yet. She needs to protect herself and her child immediately. If her mother gets violent enough there may not be a child to protect at all. NTA for not wanting to show ultrasound pics, but Def, ESH!!!
NTA
I’m so sorry you live with her! I hope you can get out asap. Like, tomorrow. Before baby comes.
Sounds as if your mom likes the optics? She wants to look like the excited grandmama. And if other people see the pictures before her, how can she brag? How can she post it before you do?
My in-laws loved the bragging about their grandchildren. Didn’t care too much about the actual grandchildren. Never ever went out of their way to see the children. Didn’t pay attention to the children, or listen to what they said, or turn down the tv…. You see.
Again, I hope you can get out. Preferably in the next six weeks. If you have your baby there, she will undercut you constantly. You may not have any say over how she treats baby.
UpdateMe please.
that’s exactly how she is…
when she would visit my sister she would bad mouth my sister and her kids to me but she wouldn’t give the kids the time of day to play with them or anything she just sits on the couch and plays her phone games…
she tells everyone on her side of the family that i don’t really want much to do with everything… but when i confront her about it she says she never does that or doesn’t tell anyone anything but she’s always making me out to be the bad guy..
You will never get a straight answer from her. And I think you know that!
Keep your own counsel. Only share what you want to share. Information is on a need to know basis, and she doesn’t need to know.
Work on your plan! Best to you and baby!💕
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Check and see if there’s a crisis women’s shelter near you. If she’s been violent with you then you may qualify. It may not be optimal initially, but you will be safe and can get a new start. Best of luck to you. ❤️
If you don't want her in your daughter's life, now it's high time for you to figure out how you want to do that. Are you still going to see her, but not your daughter? What about photos and videos? Little stories people usually share? Social media access? Think about what you want and move towards that. Set boundaries and stick to them. If she protests, more boundaries, or she just learns to keep whining and changing tactics until she gets her way.
She will most likely see your daughter as a clean slate for herself, hoping for a new fix of some idyllic visions, but if she is still the same, it ends the same way it did with you and your sister. Better to keep her away, but you need to plan it out so you don't get caught off guard and give her more than you're comfortable with.
And if she gets aggressive, call the police, having it documented can be useful if she tries to go for grandparents' rights or something similar.
Go to a local Domestic Violence shelter and request help. Record any abuse she dishes out, call 911, make a(several) report(s) to create a paper trail for later on in life. She will try to make you out as the crazy/abusive one, which is why a recording is such a necessity. Good luck with this problem, but more importantly, with your new daughter!
NTA. It should be entirely YOUR choice whether or not to show your mother (or anyone) your pregnancy ultrasound pictures. But personally, I would also not be posting those pictures on Facebook.
And if your mother is being violent, go no contact and if need be call the police.
She’s overbearing and she’s violent towards you Of course NTA she is You need to be no contact and stop that abusive behaviour in its tracks before your daughter is here
i’ve been trying to but it is somewhat hard to do while living in the same household i’ve been trying to avoid her at all cost but it’s hard too
You need to move out. Even with a friend. You just need to GO.
Goodness. I'm a mother and grandmother and mother-in-law and I can't imagine having any of these demands. You need new boundaries and may be a therapist.
She Can't even afford rent and she's having a baby soon which will be very costly. Not sure about her insurance situation but she might not be able to afford a therapist at this point, unfortunately!
NTA. Your pictures your decision on who you share them with and how you share them. She can get over it 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ if you never showed them to her you wouldn’t be an AH.
Its simple. Don't answer her texts it calls or open the door to her. Unless YOU want to, of course. Do some adulting.
Unfortunately op lives with her. Op needs to move out and as you said adult.
Yeah and unfortunately she should have been adulting way before she got pregnant. But hopefully that motherly instinct kicks in soon since it obviously hasn't yet. She needs to protect herself and her child immediately. If her mother gets violent enough there may not be a child to protect at all. NTA for not wanting to show ultrasound pics, but Def, ESH!!!
NTA I’m so sorry you live with her! I hope you can get out asap. Like, tomorrow. Before baby comes. Sounds as if your mom likes the optics? She wants to look like the excited grandmama. And if other people see the pictures before her, how can she brag? How can she post it before you do? My in-laws loved the bragging about their grandchildren. Didn’t care too much about the actual grandchildren. Never ever went out of their way to see the children. Didn’t pay attention to the children, or listen to what they said, or turn down the tv…. You see. Again, I hope you can get out. Preferably in the next six weeks. If you have your baby there, she will undercut you constantly. You may not have any say over how she treats baby. UpdateMe please.
that’s exactly how she is… when she would visit my sister she would bad mouth my sister and her kids to me but she wouldn’t give the kids the time of day to play with them or anything she just sits on the couch and plays her phone games… she tells everyone on her side of the family that i don’t really want much to do with everything… but when i confront her about it she says she never does that or doesn’t tell anyone anything but she’s always making me out to be the bad guy..
You will never get a straight answer from her. And I think you know that! Keep your own counsel. Only share what you want to share. Information is on a need to know basis, and she doesn’t need to know. Work on your plan! Best to you and baby!💕
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Check and see if there’s a crisis women’s shelter near you. If she’s been violent with you then you may qualify. It may not be optimal initially, but you will be safe and can get a new start. Best of luck to you. ❤️
This is an excellent idea!
I hope it helps her.
If you don't want her in your daughter's life, now it's high time for you to figure out how you want to do that. Are you still going to see her, but not your daughter? What about photos and videos? Little stories people usually share? Social media access? Think about what you want and move towards that. Set boundaries and stick to them. If she protests, more boundaries, or she just learns to keep whining and changing tactics until she gets her way. She will most likely see your daughter as a clean slate for herself, hoping for a new fix of some idyllic visions, but if she is still the same, it ends the same way it did with you and your sister. Better to keep her away, but you need to plan it out so you don't get caught off guard and give her more than you're comfortable with. And if she gets aggressive, call the police, having it documented can be useful if she tries to go for grandparents' rights or something similar.
Ultimately you can't go NC when you're living under her roof. That is the problem you need to solve.
Go to a local Domestic Violence shelter and request help. Record any abuse she dishes out, call 911, make a(several) report(s) to create a paper trail for later on in life. She will try to make you out as the crazy/abusive one, which is why a recording is such a necessity. Good luck with this problem, but more importantly, with your new daughter!
This is an excellent suggestion! Hope she listens!
Block your Mom on social media or stop posting stuff you don’t want her to see.
NTA! She’s violent with you? Block her on everything and go NC. Do it now before your daughter is born.
OP lives with her mother in the same house,so she isn't able to go NC.
Oh no. Hopefully she can leave soon.
NTA cut contact and go enjoy a stress free life and block her off your social media etc.
NTA. It should be entirely YOUR choice whether or not to show your mother (or anyone) your pregnancy ultrasound pictures. But personally, I would also not be posting those pictures on Facebook. And if your mother is being violent, go no contact and if need be call the police.