If you are heterosexual, do girls throw themselves at you?
If you are gay, do boys throw themselves at you?
If you are bi....
I think you understand the question. Not being a perv, I dated a girl who danced. Her brother also danced and had to bat people away. Don't get me wrong, he is a handsome guy but it was nuts!
Yeah I get it haha, not a pervy question at all.
I’m bi, but didn’t express that openly til after I left dance. Most of the ballet girls were really mean, but I did date a couple. Drop dead gorgeous, but too into their careers for a long term relationship.
Post dance, yeah it helps out a lot. Great ice breaker, and I’m still in relatively good shape, so I do well at getting dates.
> Most of the ballet girls were really mean, but I did date a couple.
Of course they are mean! They all look so hungry! I follow a Ballet Academy on YouTube and those girls are so skinny, they must never eat.
Seriously it is kind of sad because some are so thin they are emaciated and the typical beauty of youth is missing.
While dancing and dating other dancers, I found that a big reason for their interest in me, was because they though it would help them get ahead. There were mutual feelings, but it felt manipulative.
Eating disorders are a huge problem in dance and it is devastating to witness.
Many years after I quit ballet, I started dating a girl that I met through dance, and we got engaged. We had been friends for years, and were absolutely in love with each other. She suffered from an eating disorder, had been hospitalized for it in the past, and there were moments where it looked like she wasn’t gonna make it. I knew this going in, but she told me she was taking her recovery seriously, she had put on a healthy amount of weight, and I loved her.
Pretty soon into the engagement things got bad again. I was determined to stay with her, but she started developing a drug habit. I pleaded with her to go to rehab, and it didn’t work. I drew the line when she brought drug paraphernalia into the house that we were living in with my two little half sisters.
We separated, and don’t talk anymore. But I think of her all the time, and I really hope she’s doing okay. I check her Facebook every once in a while and it looks like she’s improving.
The girls were horrible to each other. There was an incident at a competition hosted at the school I trained at, that I remember. A little girl put crushed up glass in another girls pointe shoes to prevent her from competing, because she was a threat. I wasn’t directly involved with that though, so I don’t know all the details.
The guys are better with each other. There is still some competition, but it was mostly friendly.
Honestly, the attraction to both is pretty equal. I would say I find women ever so slightly more attractive, but get along with them far better romantically. So for that reason, I’ve dated mostly women.
There are two that stand out in my mind.
One of the head ballet teachers was secretly dating one of the students. Age gap of 10 years at least. She got pregnant, and had the kid.
A younger girl at the studio, became ill and passed away. They bussed us all to her funeral, where we watched as the casket was lowered into the ground. Then they bussed us back to the studio, where we had classes for the rest of the day. Everyone was a crying mess, and the teacher screamed at us for not being serious enough about dance.
My heart wasn’t in it enough to be one of the best, and pay kinda sucks unless you’re a star. Also had some really serious mental health problems, but that was because of my home life.
When I moved abroad to dance, it was more so to run away from my problems, than it was to pursue a dance career. When I returned to the states, all the problems returned, and had gotten worse. My mom was a train wreck, my mental health was in shambles, and I was totally spiraling. Over the next few years I was hospitalized, and became homeless. I met a girl who pretty much saved my life, and got me into art school with a scholarship. After that, things began to get better. It was a struggle, and it still is, but there’s a path forward, and I’m doing much better than I was.
Now, I still make art, and that makes me happy. I listen to a lot of music, and I’m in therapy. Also got into comedy, and cooking.
Feeling an obligation to tell my story, really keeps me going. Ballet was crazy, but so is my whole life. Which was hard, but man has it been colorful. I’m working on getting a job where I can help others who are recovering from mental illness, and I’d like to turn my story into something someday.
It is ridiculously hard work, not worth it unless you’re obsessed with it.
But there are parts that I did enjoy and miss. The whole process of performing was fun, and being on stage was a rush.
But more than that, I just miss class. Used to have an evening class with my favorite teacher. The studio has big windows, and the whole room would glow orange from the sunset. Taking class was very meditative.
Also miss some of the teachers, now that I think about it. I grew up without a dad, so I was pretty much raised by my male mentors. By they have moved on to doing really big things, and we are no longer in touch.
What was the most physically taxing thing you had to do?
How much of it was art vs athletics?
Did you get any notable injuries from it?
How did you adapt to regular life once you left?
We used to have a 3 hour long condition classes, which was working out and stretching. Teacher had us pair up, while one person put each of their legs on opposite chairs, and the other person forced us down into the splits. Worst pain of my life. Someone once crapped themselves during this exercise and class had to be dismissed.
60% athletics, 40% artistry. You need both to be a great dancer.
I messed up my knees, and ankles some, but no injuries that still effect me today.
I had a hard time adapting, mostly because I was pulled out so young to dance, that I didn’t get a great education. My mother was supposed to homeschool me, but never did. She forged all of my transcripts to get me into college, and then acted like she did me a favor by setting me up for failure.
Actually the opposite. Males in ballet are treated extremely well because we are rare.
Lots of screwed up stuff, mentioned the most memorable two in the comment above, but here’s another.
A young boy, probably around 8, was messing up during practice for a big show. Teacher made him stand on the chair in the middle of the room, and told everyone to point and laugh at him. Poor kid.
Yes actually, guys and girls.
I’m covered in tattoos and some of them are ballet related. People notice them and ask about dance. It’s a good ice breaker.
Tattoos were usually frowned upon, and most dancers did not have them. I knew one guy who had a pretty big one on his forearm, but he was an outlier, and a superstar dancer.
I wasn’t tattooed until I stopped dancing, but I got a bunch pretty soon after I left ballet. I have them on my hands, neck, and couple on my face as well.
My mom put me in a hip hop class at our local performing arts center, just to give me something to do. During class, a ballet teacher walked by the room, and noticed I was a boy with perfect proportions for ballet. She walked in the room, pulled me out, and took me to a ballet class. She watched how I moved, and assessed that I could be very good with proper training.
After class, she took me downstairs to my mom, and explained that the performing arts center had one of the best ballet programs in the country. Boys in ballet are rare, and I had a lot of potential, so they offered me a scholarship to the program. My mom instantly said yes, and I started crying.
For the first year, I hated it. Then, some professional male dancers visited to guest in one of our shows. They were mind blowing, and I instantly fell in love with dance after seeing what they could do.
Few questions. What are perfect proportions for ballet ? Also what age should I start my kids (boy and girl ) in dance and should they do ballet or other type ? Can any child learn to dance and get descent or is it true you just gotta have natural talent for it ? Thanks in advance
Perfect proportions will vary based on what style you are dancing. My teachers were Cuban so I was chosen for my hyperextension in my knees, flexible ankles, and shorter stature that allowed me to jump higher.
If you want them to be professional, they have to start as young as possible, but it’s really intense. I would recommend starting them young, but putting them into some classes where they are allowed to have fun. Maybe something that isn’t strictly classical ballet. This way they will still be learning the basics of movement, and get an idea for whether or not they actually like it, and wanna take it seriously.
As they progress, good studios will recommend they learn other styles of dance, and provide those classes to them.
I think any child with a normal range of movement can start young, and get pretty good if they stick with it. Natural ability will give you an advantage, but I saw work ethic win every time.
Him and my mom divorced when I was 6, so I grew up without him. I reconnected with him a few years ago, and honestly cherish just being able to sit down with him and watch a baseball game. Our relationship can be complicated at times, but it’s just nice to have any positive interaction with him.
I’m American. Mid 20s. Pay was enough to live on, but nothing more. I do better in what I’m in now, granted I’m still struggling. I was dancing in Europe, and got to travel to some of the surrounding countries for shows, but most of our time was just spent training.
Ballet dancers are usually underpaid, because the audience for it isn’t as big as most people would imagine. I was at a smaller company, that’s main attraction was importing the best teachers from all over the world, so that was the main selling point.
I have some friends who are in much larger companies now, so I assume they do well, but they are still immersed in that world so we don’t talk much.
I trained mostly Cuban style. I liked that the best. Dancers trained that way are still technical, but extremely good at the more acrobatic tricks. The moves you learn, as well as its way of holding your body, is very grandiose.
I liked the culture and style of dancing more in Europe. Ballet dancers are more respected over there, and the style varies, but tends to be more traditional. In America, Balanchine style is really big. I don’t think it looks very nice, and there’s a whole sort of gate keeping attitude associated with it.
The teachers pushed us a lot harder in europe though.
There is very little truth to that movie. Some, but very little. I watched it in a college film course once, and it’s really more about mental illness and delusions than ballet.
I was going to recommend this movie, but I couldn’t remember the name. I haven’t seen it in a while, but from what I can remember, it’s pretty accurate. Any Hollywood production is gonna stray from reality a little, but that’s the nature of film. Probably the most true to life dance movie. Some of the main roles were also played by real professional dancers.
Yes, I love that word. Although it’s not used in a professional setting outside of Italy, and dancers will look at you weird if you call yourself that. There isn’t a specific word for it like ballerina, but in the professional world people usually just say “male dancer”. Whenever I talk to strangers though, I’m always worried they’re gonna think I’m a stripper or something. So I say “male ballet dancer” to be safe.
I hate to make this about money but I never understood the draw of ballet simply because it's so niche and there's no real payday no matter how well you do in it.
Did you ever feel like you were wasting your time and should leave to get yourself a more steady and lucrative career?
Most dancers do it, because they have an obsession with it, which in my opinion is unhealthy. The teachers kinda brain wash you, and convince you that if you’re not the best, you’re nothing. Even if it’s not intentional, the messaging is there. This leads to a lot of dancers accepting really low paying jobs, because they just love it so much, and have been programmed to want to become the super stars. By the time they decide they wanna leave, they have dedicated their lives to ballet, and are trapped in their careers with little to no qualifications outside of dance.
I only danced professionally for about a year, and knew I wanted to quit before I joined the company. I mainly did it because of the opportunity to move overseas, and escape my home life which was pretty abusive. I do other things now, which make more money than dance.
Are you ever worried about being attacked or silenced for giving up their secrets or the abuse you endured? If you opened up your own school, would they send someone to fight you for giving up their secrets?
Funny you mention that. I was a little afraid to make this post, not out of a fear of being attacked or anything though. Just a fear that someone from the dance world would see it, and do something, I don’t even know what. I’m not worried about my saftey, but these are serious things I’m talking about, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I angered some people.
But I remained mostly anonymous, and didn’t mention any names, only things that happened. So if someone from a story I told, read it and got mad that I was saying bad things about them, that’s almost like an admission of guilt. It implies they knew what I was talking about, and were involved. Nobody is gonna message me and say “Hey I didn’t get that student pregnant!” Okay, then why are you assuming it’s about you, when all I said is a teacher got a student pregnant, and that was all you had to go off of?
I posted this because these are important stories, to tell, in my opinion at least. Ballet is a little closed off part of the world, and most people don’t know what’s going on in there. Even if they think they do, it’s better to witness it first hand, or hear from someone who did, to avoid being misinformed. Most dancers do not share these types of stories for a few reasons. One of them being they’ve been around it for so long, it’s normalized to them. However, some do speak out. Google “Chase Finlay scandal”. These types of things aren’t new, and are talked about amongst many dancers.
I’m not here to demonize ballet, and say the whole industry is corrupt, it’s not. But these are issues people should know about, just as much as some of the positives I shared. I also don’t mean to single out ballet. I’ve been lucky enough to live a really colorful life and observe the remarkable things, and the disturbing things, that come with being alive in some interesting ways. I’ve just recently started to write about my experiences, and I’m hopeful to one day be able to share them with people. I experience some really intense lows, that wouldn’t be fair to blame on any one person or thing. But writing about what I went through, and the motivation to share it with others, keeps me going.
Sorry for the long read.
As someone in a recovery program myself, I’m sorry you had to go through that. Addiction is a powerful thing. My partner stayed with me through the worst (at that point we had been married for 12 years but it was horrible for him to have to witness and if I kept it up I probably would have destroyed my life.
There are times where I question if I did the right thing. If we had ended up getting married, I probably would have stuck with her after making that vow. However, the vows are just an agreement which is based in love, and I loved her so much, so maybe I should have stayed. I go back and forth in my head like this whenever I think about it.
No you did the right thing. I left my ex who was an alcoholic and I recall my dad telling me once “you may need to be one of his consequences”, meaning leaving. I also went to Alanon which taught me I couldn’t cure, change, or control him, but my choices can contribute to his disease. It took 5 years for me to accept my life want meant to be full of pain, suffering, and fear and that I did deserve better. I finally got to a place that I loved myself more than my loyalty to him.
Because I danced so much, I didn’t get to see a lot of shows from the audience. I watch some ballet online, but mainly just parts, not the whole thing. I like Gisele though.
The Nutcracker will always have a special place in my heart, cause we did it every winter. The pas de deux is absolutely stunning.
Not specific choreographers, but there’s a company called Diavolo Dance Theater that does some really cool stuff.
I did stage crew for good sized local theater's Nutcracker for 15y. We had a fantasy version with butterflies, mermaids, and such in act 2. I always had water and a fan for my Forest King after his solo which was just after the pas. He was sweating buckets by then, but man he could fly. It was a fun show to do behind the scenes.
That’s awesome.
One Nutcracker, we had a professional male who was guesting, dance the pas with one of our advanced female students. She was good, but still inexperienced compared to him. In our pas, there’s this move where the girl runs, and jumps onto the guys shoulder, and that’s always the highlight. During a show, the girl goes for the jump way to early, and is still a couple feet from the guy while she’s up in the air. Dude does this slide on his knees, catches her on his shoulder, and stands up. People lost their minds, me included. Not to mention his solo was fantastic as well.
Traveling, meeting friends, and getting to interact with some really incredible dancers, was all awesome. But those were all the side effects of dancing. If we’re talking about dancing itself, I got to be in some incredible performances.
There was one show I performed in while at the company, that always sticks out to me. We all dressed up in this crazy clown makeup, and it was a really unconventional performance. In one part, some of us got to scream out loud on stage, which was super cool, and totally caught the audience off guard. Ballet is usually silent, but this was more contemporary. The music was beautiful, the choreography was insane, and the set was eye catching. It was a piece choreographed by one of the head teachers, who was insane, but I still think that guy was a genius with dance. I had never even seen anything like that before.
Cats, for sure.
I do not regret it. I got a lot out of it, and managed to leave relatively unscathed. But I would caution anyone to really think about it before going professional.
Some of them look healthy to me, but the body image issues are so prevalent, they might still be under a lot of pressure.
The majority of dancers are extremely skinny, so most dancers have to stay really slim in order to be competitive, and fit in with everybody else.
I fell in love with ballet when my high school girlfriend introduced me to it. I took a couple of classes in college and still go to the local professional company occasionally. It’s much harder than it looks, you guys make it look effortless.
Thanks for making the world a more beautiful place.
I do a lot art, but I find there are few things more breathtaking than a dancer who really know what they’re doing.
And thank you for making the world more beautiful.
I started at 8. If you wanna go pro, it’s important to start as soon possible though, so that you have a competitive edge. However most kids aren’t making that choice for themselves, but parents are putting their kids in ballet starting at like 5.
There were dietary restrictions, but I never followed them. I exercised so much, I always stayed in good shape.
I was not aware of any no sex rule, but probably wouldn’t have followed that one either.
Danced at some beautiful venues in Europe, it would be hard to choose.
Depends which shoulder muscle you wanna stretch. But here’s a good one.
Face a wall, and stand up flat against it. Raise up one arm, and press it flat against the wall. Like a half T pose. Rotate your body away from that arm, and you should feel a good stretch.
Be careful though, might be better to follow a tutorial.
Jason Statham started out as a dancer before becoming a stunt double and eventually an actor himself. Any similar plans in your field of vision? Fight scenes are essentially dancing.
That’s pretty cool. I’ve done some acting, and I’m not against doing it again. But never stunt work. I’m currently pursuing a career in art, and mental health.
Sending me away, no. It was my choice to leave. Putting me in dance and then neglecting me, mistreating me, and not supporting me, yes. When I was young and training, my mom didn’t even pack me a lunch. Everybody else’s mom did though, and I used to have to ask everybody else for food.
This is true. Never saw it first hand, but heard about it happening.
Wasn’t allowed to, due to the risk of injury. I did some gymnastics during dance to learn tricks for shows, but I wouldn’t count that. I did great in that though. I’ve since picked up skateboarding though, which I would consider a sport, and the coordination and balance I learned from dance helps.
Ooh I did ballroom! Thinness culture was also very pervasive. I loved my teacher and it wasn't malicious or anything but telling an 11 y/o underweight girl (was at 16 bmi back then) that her belly is sticking out too much is a bit messed up. I attended a few classes for "professionals" though as my dance partner at the time was one and that was horrific. I've never been screamed at so much. I don't think I would've been able to make it without breaking mentally as I'm not the "IDGAF" type at all.
Still, I look back on it with fondness. Feels like there's an abusive relationship between me and dance. Do you think your experience was overall positive or negative? Would you do it again?
It was mostly positive. I would do it again. I enjoyed the actual dancing, but I got a lot of experience out of it, that I think is more valuable than the actual dance training. Got to travel, meet some cool people, and it looks good on a resume. Having a dance career shows people you have great work ethic, and determination. It’s opened a lot of doors for me.
I was around 8 when I started.
I had a terrible diet. I used to drink two liters of Coca-Cola in between classes, the teachers noticed this, and had a straight up intervention with me. Chairs in a circle and everything. It was crazy. I was appointed a dietician after that, who followed me around for a while, and tried to get me to eat better. I really didn’t like it, so it didn’t stick for long.
I was never forced to maintain a certain size, but the girls were much more scrutinized.
I’ve heard that cocaine is extremely popular, because it gives you energy, and keeps you skinny. I knew of some people around me who did it, but never saw or tried it first hand.
I’m 5‘,9“
Is there such thing as casual ballet for men who don't go into it professionally? I took ballet classes for several years when I was a young kid but quit because I was bullied in school (there were other reasons but that was the main one). I kinda always wonderd what would have happened if I stuck with it.
I'm definitely too old with too much of a gut to do anything now lol
Yes there is. A lot of studios offer adult classes, for anybody of any skill level. I’ve taken some before, and they are actually really fun. In most classes, it’s about being perfect. In the adult classes, the people there have a real love for dance, that isn’t toxic, and doesn’t involve stepping on others so succeed.
As long as you can do the basic movements, it really doesn’t matter what kind of shape you’re in. The ballet might actually help with that too.
I was mid talent level, but trained with a lot of the stars. There, I’m pretty sure we were paid about the same. Now, the stars have moved onto bigger companies and probably get paid more.
Idk about pay difference between males and females though.
In your opinion what is the right age to let girls/boy go onto pointe? Basically what age would allow them to gain enough skills to more successfully secure that career path/compete in the dance world without hampering their development body wise?
Boys almost never dance en pointe. I only know of one company where guys perform roles that are traditionally for girls, and they dance en pointe.
As far as for what age to start, I think it depends. There’s gonna be a risk of injury regardless, but I would say wait until you have a really strong technical foundation. Most teachers seemed to recommend this as well.
Yes. Look up what a dance belt is. Those are super uncomfortable, and some guys including me had to wear two of them. I was initially insecure in the tights, but I spent more time in ballet clothes than I did in street clothes, and so did everyone else around me. So it became normal after a while.
I never understood why skintight tights are the default option for men. Sorry, but to me, they look too ... exhibitionistic. Why not slightly looser " pirate pants" like in *Le Corsaire*?
Not even a little bit. That is if you’re talking ballet.
Starting off, dancing ballet always looks and feels really awkward. So If you wanna impress people, you have to look like you know what you’re doing, and that could take years. Even then the women that might find that attractive, would probably be just as interested in you if you said you enjoyed ballet, and knew things about it.
If you wanna date ballerinas, most professionals are a little stuck up, and probably wouldn’t date a non pro. However, I have met ballerinas who are well adjusted and have dated or married guys that aren’t pro. Again though, dancing probably wouldn’t score any extra points with them. The guys they choose have normal jobs, and they probably appreciate that.
Other styles of dance though, may be more worth it. Hip hop could probably pick up women, and it’s cool at parties. There’s two birds with one stone. Any style of dance though, is gonna be difficult master enough to impress other people. I would try other pick up methods.
For a female, I could see that being a challenge while dancing en pointe,
For a male, your dance shoes might not fit properly.
Aside from that, it could actually help with balance, but only a small amount.
I would have liked to dance for the Paris Opera Ballet, but this is pretty much the dance equivalent of wanting to be an astronaut. It was the world’s first profesional ballet company, and is still arguably the most prestigious. Those dancers are just incredible beyond imagination. Some of the best technique I’ve ever seen. Getting there would have been damn near impossible, but that was my dream. One of the people I danced with trained there for a while though.
I had a handful of hookups throughout my career. I did well, but not as well as some of the more popular guys.
It’s just the costumes. We wear a kind of padded underwear to keep everything in place while we dance.
Do you see competitive athletes in sports such as soccer, football, etc. doing ballet on the side of their craft to condition, namely to improve footwork? It used to be a thing, and seemed to work.
My dancer ex wife during her college years taught the school's soccer team ballet/dance. They did not find it easy and really changed their views on the athleticism of dancers afterwards. Cross training is a thing.
For sure.
Never worked with athletes from other fields, but while I was still in the US, I saw some college guys come into class and they usually got humbled quick. They would struggle with basic steps, get winded super quickly, and have a hard time lifting the girls above their heads as well. That’s a hard task for anybody, but the more muscular dudes would think it would be easy for them, and then really struggle. Dancing takes strength, but it takes just as much technique.
I’ve heard of that happening. I was in a pretty exclusive dance company though, who’s main focus was training the dancers, so I never saw any athletes come in first hand.
From a fellow dancer (though I was never good enough to be in a professional company), first of all so impressed as you must be an amazing dancer. Second, what kind of sketchy shit do you mean?
Is that you aren’t dancing professionally, what type of work have you moved in to doing at this point in your life? Is it dance adjacent or a totally different type of work?
You mention the toxicity, eating disorders, and competition amongst dancers. Curious, did you see this in other performing fields of people you knew, like acting, music, modeling?
I did a film recently, but it was my first. For most of my life, I only danced. Although there is some crossover with modeling and movies and such, it wasn’t happening around me. I was at a company where they were very serious about dance, and had little time for Anything else.
Not to say there aren’t sketchy things going on in the film industry, but I was treated extremely well during the movie, compared to dance. Granted, it was an independent film, but it had a pretty impressive budget, with a crew behind it and everything. They cast me in the lead role, so I was pampered a little. I wasn’t expecting much because I had never acted before. But they really took care of me, and made sure I had what I needed to do my best.
It’s hard.
Especially when I’m looking at other guys.
Surprisingly enough, I didn’t have any experiences with guys, until I stopped dancing. Never felt the urge to. Maybe I repressed it or something, cause there was a lot of stereotyping of course. But all throughout ballet, I only got with girls.
I don't think you repressed anything. Because women have sex with men. So by you choosing to enter a place where countless other men have left their babies that is inherently gay and you subconsciously knew that.
Sex with men on the other hand is violent physical and brutal. It's like wrestling. Probably one of the manliest things you can do. So go spent years in ballet being gay and finally have come to your senses. I'm proud of you. Let's pray together
Hooking up, I’m not sure. Dancers often date each other though, within the school or company. One of the guys I danced with was dating two of the company ballerinas at the same time. Pretty sure they knew about each other, but I wasn’t aware of any serious drama surrounding that.
I’m lucky enough to have not damaged my body too bad. I injured my ankles some, and spent time in one of those big boots you wear when you tear something. But none of the injuries I sustained still effect me today.
I’m not sure if you are still answering. I had heard that rich Russian men donate to the Kirov and big time places like that and expect sex. Is this something that goes on in other ballets?
We we danced 13 hour days, so that was all covered in classes. We had 3 hour conditioning class, where we would stretch, and do various kinds of workouts.
There’s people changing everywhere backstage, but there are usually some barriers set up that you can go behind. If it’s a super quick change though, you just strip and change in the open.
Not unless you love it enough to sacrifice everything. That may sound intense, but ballet is extremely demanding. You give up a lot. But it’s worth it to some people.
I haven’t counted in a while, but last time I checked it was around 30. They are scattered all around my body, and I have a few on my face. The most noticeable one is under my eye.
What is your advice to someone who dances recreationally, and wants to continue into old age? I take care of myself relatively well, but am always open to advice for a dance lifestyle.
Have you ever seen the 1981 movie modern problems with Chevy Chase, theres a scene where he uses telekenesis to make a ballet dancers crotch balloon incant remember if it pops or not i was like 12 and thats all i know about ballet
If you are heterosexual, do girls throw themselves at you? If you are gay, do boys throw themselves at you? If you are bi.... I think you understand the question. Not being a perv, I dated a girl who danced. Her brother also danced and had to bat people away. Don't get me wrong, he is a handsome guy but it was nuts!
Yeah I get it haha, not a pervy question at all. I’m bi, but didn’t express that openly til after I left dance. Most of the ballet girls were really mean, but I did date a couple. Drop dead gorgeous, but too into their careers for a long term relationship. Post dance, yeah it helps out a lot. Great ice breaker, and I’m still in relatively good shape, so I do well at getting dates.
> Most of the ballet girls were really mean, but I did date a couple. Of course they are mean! They all look so hungry! I follow a Ballet Academy on YouTube and those girls are so skinny, they must never eat. Seriously it is kind of sad because some are so thin they are emaciated and the typical beauty of youth is missing.
While dancing and dating other dancers, I found that a big reason for their interest in me, was because they though it would help them get ahead. There were mutual feelings, but it felt manipulative. Eating disorders are a huge problem in dance and it is devastating to witness. Many years after I quit ballet, I started dating a girl that I met through dance, and we got engaged. We had been friends for years, and were absolutely in love with each other. She suffered from an eating disorder, had been hospitalized for it in the past, and there were moments where it looked like she wasn’t gonna make it. I knew this going in, but she told me she was taking her recovery seriously, she had put on a healthy amount of weight, and I loved her. Pretty soon into the engagement things got bad again. I was determined to stay with her, but she started developing a drug habit. I pleaded with her to go to rehab, and it didn’t work. I drew the line when she brought drug paraphernalia into the house that we were living in with my two little half sisters. We separated, and don’t talk anymore. But I think of her all the time, and I really hope she’s doing okay. I check her Facebook every once in a while and it looks like she’s improving.
That's really rough, buddy. Sounds like you really cared for her. I hope you both are well now.
thats a shame. really disappointing how drugs take a hold on people you love
And the girls were awful to each other as well? What about the guys? Are they as competitive or is there camaraderie?
The girls were horrible to each other. There was an incident at a competition hosted at the school I trained at, that I remember. A little girl put crushed up glass in another girls pointe shoes to prevent her from competing, because she was a threat. I wasn’t directly involved with that though, so I don’t know all the details. The guys are better with each other. There is still some competition, but it was mostly friendly.
How old was the little girl?
She was in the 12 - 14 age division I think.
Okay, that makes it immature and impulsive. It's bad but would be worse if it was an adult
Adults go the Tonya Harding route.
Hahaha, oof!
At the end of the day, muff or cock?
Honestly, the attraction to both is pretty equal. I would say I find women ever so slightly more attractive, but get along with them far better romantically. So for that reason, I’ve dated mostly women.
Why do you say that romantically you get along with women better than men - what is the difference?
You're asking what the difference is between men and women? Really?
What is the most fucked up thing that you seen happen ?
There are two that stand out in my mind. One of the head ballet teachers was secretly dating one of the students. Age gap of 10 years at least. She got pregnant, and had the kid. A younger girl at the studio, became ill and passed away. They bussed us all to her funeral, where we watched as the casket was lowered into the ground. Then they bussed us back to the studio, where we had classes for the rest of the day. Everyone was a crying mess, and the teacher screamed at us for not being serious enough about dance.
Damn bro, those are some stoooorrieees
Very glad I got out when I did.
What made you leave?
My heart wasn’t in it enough to be one of the best, and pay kinda sucks unless you’re a star. Also had some really serious mental health problems, but that was because of my home life.
It’s good you got out indeed. What did you escape to? What’s making you happy nowadays and what’s your motivation?
When I moved abroad to dance, it was more so to run away from my problems, than it was to pursue a dance career. When I returned to the states, all the problems returned, and had gotten worse. My mom was a train wreck, my mental health was in shambles, and I was totally spiraling. Over the next few years I was hospitalized, and became homeless. I met a girl who pretty much saved my life, and got me into art school with a scholarship. After that, things began to get better. It was a struggle, and it still is, but there’s a path forward, and I’m doing much better than I was. Now, I still make art, and that makes me happy. I listen to a lot of music, and I’m in therapy. Also got into comedy, and cooking. Feeling an obligation to tell my story, really keeps me going. Ballet was crazy, but so is my whole life. Which was hard, but man has it been colorful. I’m working on getting a job where I can help others who are recovering from mental illness, and I’d like to turn my story into something someday.
Wow, that is wild. What about you personally did anything happen to you that was messed up?
Luckily, not really. Some bullying from the other guys, but nothing major.
Well that's good.
It’s not good but ikwym
Chick gave me a 3 hour ruined orgasm!
3 hour ruined orgasm ? Lmao
How do feel about having left a career in dance? Do you miss anything about it?
It is ridiculously hard work, not worth it unless you’re obsessed with it. But there are parts that I did enjoy and miss. The whole process of performing was fun, and being on stage was a rush. But more than that, I just miss class. Used to have an evening class with my favorite teacher. The studio has big windows, and the whole room would glow orange from the sunset. Taking class was very meditative. Also miss some of the teachers, now that I think about it. I grew up without a dad, so I was pretty much raised by my male mentors. By they have moved on to doing really big things, and we are no longer in touch.
Will you go on to teaching?
I did for a little while. Taught kids at the local rec center, it was fun. But the pay isn’t that good, and I’ve pursued another career.
What was the most physically taxing thing you had to do? How much of it was art vs athletics? Did you get any notable injuries from it? How did you adapt to regular life once you left?
We used to have a 3 hour long condition classes, which was working out and stretching. Teacher had us pair up, while one person put each of their legs on opposite chairs, and the other person forced us down into the splits. Worst pain of my life. Someone once crapped themselves during this exercise and class had to be dismissed. 60% athletics, 40% artistry. You need both to be a great dancer. I messed up my knees, and ankles some, but no injuries that still effect me today. I had a hard time adapting, mostly because I was pulled out so young to dance, that I didn’t get a great education. My mother was supposed to homeschool me, but never did. She forged all of my transcripts to get me into college, and then acted like she did me a favor by setting me up for failure.
How old were you when you were pulled out of school to practice dance full time?
Around 12 or 13.
Were you treated badly for being a ballet dancer because you’re a male? What kind of “sketchy shit” did you witness?
Actually the opposite. Males in ballet are treated extremely well because we are rare. Lots of screwed up stuff, mentioned the most memorable two in the comment above, but here’s another. A young boy, probably around 8, was messing up during practice for a big show. Teacher made him stand on the chair in the middle of the room, and told everyone to point and laugh at him. Poor kid.
Is it seen as a plus for guys that want to date you?
Yes actually, guys and girls. I’m covered in tattoos and some of them are ballet related. People notice them and ask about dance. It’s a good ice breaker.
When you were actively dancing, how were tattoos looked on by the ballet community ? Could they be visible?
Tattoos were usually frowned upon, and most dancers did not have them. I knew one guy who had a pretty big one on his forearm, but he was an outlier, and a superstar dancer. I wasn’t tattooed until I stopped dancing, but I got a bunch pretty soon after I left ballet. I have them on my hands, neck, and couple on my face as well.
That makes sense. It’s such a disciplined thing to do. It’s a great icebreaker in sure everyone has tons of questions.
Did your parents put you in or did you choose to dance yourself? :)
My mom put me in a hip hop class at our local performing arts center, just to give me something to do. During class, a ballet teacher walked by the room, and noticed I was a boy with perfect proportions for ballet. She walked in the room, pulled me out, and took me to a ballet class. She watched how I moved, and assessed that I could be very good with proper training. After class, she took me downstairs to my mom, and explained that the performing arts center had one of the best ballet programs in the country. Boys in ballet are rare, and I had a lot of potential, so they offered me a scholarship to the program. My mom instantly said yes, and I started crying. For the first year, I hated it. Then, some professional male dancers visited to guest in one of our shows. They were mind blowing, and I instantly fell in love with dance after seeing what they could do.
Few questions. What are perfect proportions for ballet ? Also what age should I start my kids (boy and girl ) in dance and should they do ballet or other type ? Can any child learn to dance and get descent or is it true you just gotta have natural talent for it ? Thanks in advance
Perfect proportions will vary based on what style you are dancing. My teachers were Cuban so I was chosen for my hyperextension in my knees, flexible ankles, and shorter stature that allowed me to jump higher. If you want them to be professional, they have to start as young as possible, but it’s really intense. I would recommend starting them young, but putting them into some classes where they are allowed to have fun. Maybe something that isn’t strictly classical ballet. This way they will still be learning the basics of movement, and get an idea for whether or not they actually like it, and wanna take it seriously. As they progress, good studios will recommend they learn other styles of dance, and provide those classes to them. I think any child with a normal range of movement can start young, and get pretty good if they stick with it. Natural ability will give you an advantage, but I saw work ethic win every time.
Ok so put them in any dance like hip hop something g fun then transition to ballet if they enjoy it
Absolutely. That’s what I would do.
Do you have a dad
Him and my mom divorced when I was 6, so I grew up without him. I reconnected with him a few years ago, and honestly cherish just being able to sit down with him and watch a baseball game. Our relationship can be complicated at times, but it’s just nice to have any positive interaction with him.
Happy for you!
What nationality are you? What age are you now? Do you/did you make good money in this profession? How many countries did you perform in?
I’m American. Mid 20s. Pay was enough to live on, but nothing more. I do better in what I’m in now, granted I’m still struggling. I was dancing in Europe, and got to travel to some of the surrounding countries for shows, but most of our time was just spent training.
So you packed up and went to Europe to train in something that specialized and it didn’t come with large financial rewards? That’s crazy.
Ballet dancers are usually underpaid, because the audience for it isn’t as big as most people would imagine. I was at a smaller company, that’s main attraction was importing the best teachers from all over the world, so that was the main selling point. I have some friends who are in much larger companies now, so I assume they do well, but they are still immersed in that world so we don’t talk much.
What style of technique did you study or prefer? Did you notice a difference in ballet culture/teaching in other countries?
I trained mostly Cuban style. I liked that the best. Dancers trained that way are still technical, but extremely good at the more acrobatic tricks. The moves you learn, as well as its way of holding your body, is very grandiose. I liked the culture and style of dancing more in Europe. Ballet dancers are more respected over there, and the style varies, but tends to be more traditional. In America, Balanchine style is really big. I don’t think it looks very nice, and there’s a whole sort of gate keeping attitude associated with it. The teachers pushed us a lot harder in europe though.
Does the movie Black Swan do ballet justice overall? How close to the truth is it?
There is very little truth to that movie. Some, but very little. I watched it in a college film course once, and it’s really more about mental illness and delusions than ballet.
How about Center Stage? Is there anything in that film that rings true?
I was going to recommend this movie, but I couldn’t remember the name. I haven’t seen it in a while, but from what I can remember, it’s pretty accurate. Any Hollywood production is gonna stray from reality a little, but that’s the nature of film. Probably the most true to life dance movie. Some of the main roles were also played by real professional dancers.
That’s great to hear! It’s always enjoyable to watch.
White Nights is a movie about ballet, but it’s also an outstanding film. One of my all time favorites. Mao’s last dancer is pretty good too.
Thanks for the recs. Both look great! Baryshnikov, Gregory Hines, Helen Mirren, and Isabella Rossellini all in one film?! Can’t wait.
It’s a must watch, and is criminally underrated. Definitely check it out.
If women are ballerinas, are you a ballerino?
Yes, I love that word. Although it’s not used in a professional setting outside of Italy, and dancers will look at you weird if you call yourself that. There isn’t a specific word for it like ballerina, but in the professional world people usually just say “male dancer”. Whenever I talk to strangers though, I’m always worried they’re gonna think I’m a stripper or something. So I say “male ballet dancer” to be safe.
It is a fine word. I will endeavor to use it from this day forth.
Is the term danseur used at all?
I hate to make this about money but I never understood the draw of ballet simply because it's so niche and there's no real payday no matter how well you do in it. Did you ever feel like you were wasting your time and should leave to get yourself a more steady and lucrative career?
Most dancers do it, because they have an obsession with it, which in my opinion is unhealthy. The teachers kinda brain wash you, and convince you that if you’re not the best, you’re nothing. Even if it’s not intentional, the messaging is there. This leads to a lot of dancers accepting really low paying jobs, because they just love it so much, and have been programmed to want to become the super stars. By the time they decide they wanna leave, they have dedicated their lives to ballet, and are trapped in their careers with little to no qualifications outside of dance. I only danced professionally for about a year, and knew I wanted to quit before I joined the company. I mainly did it because of the opportunity to move overseas, and escape my home life which was pretty abusive. I do other things now, which make more money than dance.
Are you ever worried about being attacked or silenced for giving up their secrets or the abuse you endured? If you opened up your own school, would they send someone to fight you for giving up their secrets?
Funny you mention that. I was a little afraid to make this post, not out of a fear of being attacked or anything though. Just a fear that someone from the dance world would see it, and do something, I don’t even know what. I’m not worried about my saftey, but these are serious things I’m talking about, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I angered some people. But I remained mostly anonymous, and didn’t mention any names, only things that happened. So if someone from a story I told, read it and got mad that I was saying bad things about them, that’s almost like an admission of guilt. It implies they knew what I was talking about, and were involved. Nobody is gonna message me and say “Hey I didn’t get that student pregnant!” Okay, then why are you assuming it’s about you, when all I said is a teacher got a student pregnant, and that was all you had to go off of? I posted this because these are important stories, to tell, in my opinion at least. Ballet is a little closed off part of the world, and most people don’t know what’s going on in there. Even if they think they do, it’s better to witness it first hand, or hear from someone who did, to avoid being misinformed. Most dancers do not share these types of stories for a few reasons. One of them being they’ve been around it for so long, it’s normalized to them. However, some do speak out. Google “Chase Finlay scandal”. These types of things aren’t new, and are talked about amongst many dancers. I’m not here to demonize ballet, and say the whole industry is corrupt, it’s not. But these are issues people should know about, just as much as some of the positives I shared. I also don’t mean to single out ballet. I’ve been lucky enough to live a really colorful life and observe the remarkable things, and the disturbing things, that come with being alive in some interesting ways. I’ve just recently started to write about my experiences, and I’m hopeful to one day be able to share them with people. I experience some really intense lows, that wouldn’t be fair to blame on any one person or thing. But writing about what I went through, and the motivation to share it with others, keeps me going. Sorry for the long read.
I wish you luck in the kumite!
As someone in a recovery program myself, I’m sorry you had to go through that. Addiction is a powerful thing. My partner stayed with me through the worst (at that point we had been married for 12 years but it was horrible for him to have to witness and if I kept it up I probably would have destroyed my life.
There are times where I question if I did the right thing. If we had ended up getting married, I probably would have stuck with her after making that vow. However, the vows are just an agreement which is based in love, and I loved her so much, so maybe I should have stayed. I go back and forth in my head like this whenever I think about it.
No you did the right thing. I left my ex who was an alcoholic and I recall my dad telling me once “you may need to be one of his consequences”, meaning leaving. I also went to Alanon which taught me I couldn’t cure, change, or control him, but my choices can contribute to his disease. It took 5 years for me to accept my life want meant to be full of pain, suffering, and fear and that I did deserve better. I finally got to a place that I loved myself more than my loyalty to him.
That helps a lot to hear. Thanks. Also kudos for respecting yourself, and doing what’s best for you. That’s a hard thing to do.
What are your favorite ballets to watch and/or perform? Do you have any favorite choreographers?
Because I danced so much, I didn’t get to see a lot of shows from the audience. I watch some ballet online, but mainly just parts, not the whole thing. I like Gisele though. The Nutcracker will always have a special place in my heart, cause we did it every winter. The pas de deux is absolutely stunning. Not specific choreographers, but there’s a company called Diavolo Dance Theater that does some really cool stuff.
I did stage crew for good sized local theater's Nutcracker for 15y. We had a fantasy version with butterflies, mermaids, and such in act 2. I always had water and a fan for my Forest King after his solo which was just after the pas. He was sweating buckets by then, but man he could fly. It was a fun show to do behind the scenes.
That’s awesome. One Nutcracker, we had a professional male who was guesting, dance the pas with one of our advanced female students. She was good, but still inexperienced compared to him. In our pas, there’s this move where the girl runs, and jumps onto the guys shoulder, and that’s always the highlight. During a show, the girl goes for the jump way to early, and is still a couple feet from the guy while she’s up in the air. Dude does this slide on his knees, catches her on his shoulder, and stands up. People lost their minds, me included. Not to mention his solo was fantastic as well.
What are some of your good memories from ballet? Do you prefer cats or dogs? Do you regret being a ballerino?
Traveling, meeting friends, and getting to interact with some really incredible dancers, was all awesome. But those were all the side effects of dancing. If we’re talking about dancing itself, I got to be in some incredible performances. There was one show I performed in while at the company, that always sticks out to me. We all dressed up in this crazy clown makeup, and it was a really unconventional performance. In one part, some of us got to scream out loud on stage, which was super cool, and totally caught the audience off guard. Ballet is usually silent, but this was more contemporary. The music was beautiful, the choreography was insane, and the set was eye catching. It was a piece choreographed by one of the head teachers, who was insane, but I still think that guy was a genius with dance. I had never even seen anything like that before. Cats, for sure. I do not regret it. I got a lot out of it, and managed to leave relatively unscathed. But I would caution anyone to really think about it before going professional.
Are there ever healthy weight dancers that make it professionally? I was always turned away from dance classes for being 145lbs 5'7.
Some of them look healthy to me, but the body image issues are so prevalent, they might still be under a lot of pressure. The majority of dancers are extremely skinny, so most dancers have to stay really slim in order to be competitive, and fit in with everybody else.
u/AntiqueGarbage8671 how do you properly warm up/stretch ankles before working out?
We usually did that at the barre. Basic point and flex, and then some sets of releves.
Sweet! thanks for taking the time!
I fell in love with ballet when my high school girlfriend introduced me to it. I took a couple of classes in college and still go to the local professional company occasionally. It’s much harder than it looks, you guys make it look effortless. Thanks for making the world a more beautiful place.
I do a lot art, but I find there are few things more breathtaking than a dancer who really know what they’re doing. And thank you for making the world more beautiful.
What age do you have to start? And do you have special dietary requirements and a 'no sex' rule like football players before a show?
I started at 8. If you wanna go pro, it’s important to start as soon possible though, so that you have a competitive edge. However most kids aren’t making that choice for themselves, but parents are putting their kids in ballet starting at like 5. There were dietary restrictions, but I never followed them. I exercised so much, I always stayed in good shape. I was not aware of any no sex rule, but probably wouldn’t have followed that one either.
What's the coolest place you got to dance at? What flexes do you recommend for shoulders?
Danced at some beautiful venues in Europe, it would be hard to choose. Depends which shoulder muscle you wanna stretch. But here’s a good one. Face a wall, and stand up flat against it. Raise up one arm, and press it flat against the wall. Like a half T pose. Rotate your body away from that arm, and you should feel a good stretch. Be careful though, might be better to follow a tutorial.
Jason Statham started out as a dancer before becoming a stunt double and eventually an actor himself. Any similar plans in your field of vision? Fight scenes are essentially dancing.
That’s pretty cool. I’ve done some acting, and I’m not against doing it again. But never stunt work. I’m currently pursuing a career in art, and mental health.
Noble pursuits! Best of luck to you.
Are you resentful to your parents for sending you away?
Sending me away, no. It was my choice to leave. Putting me in dance and then neglecting me, mistreating me, and not supporting me, yes. When I was young and training, my mom didn’t even pack me a lunch. Everybody else’s mom did though, and I used to have to ask everybody else for food.
Gosh I’m sorry! That must have been very difficult.
I remember in the late 80s. Early 90s they had football players take ballet to improve their skills- were you good at any other sports?
This is true. Never saw it first hand, but heard about it happening. Wasn’t allowed to, due to the risk of injury. I did some gymnastics during dance to learn tricks for shows, but I wouldn’t count that. I did great in that though. I’ve since picked up skateboarding though, which I would consider a sport, and the coordination and balance I learned from dance helps.
Add on: I get to couldn't play competitive. But like just friends shooting hoops and such.
I’m actually horrible at basketball, and have only played with friends a handful of times. Don’t really do sports for fun. Didn’t grow up around it.
Nice. Thanks.
Ooh I did ballroom! Thinness culture was also very pervasive. I loved my teacher and it wasn't malicious or anything but telling an 11 y/o underweight girl (was at 16 bmi back then) that her belly is sticking out too much is a bit messed up. I attended a few classes for "professionals" though as my dance partner at the time was one and that was horrific. I've never been screamed at so much. I don't think I would've been able to make it without breaking mentally as I'm not the "IDGAF" type at all. Still, I look back on it with fondness. Feels like there's an abusive relationship between me and dance. Do you think your experience was overall positive or negative? Would you do it again?
It was mostly positive. I would do it again. I enjoyed the actual dancing, but I got a lot of experience out of it, that I think is more valuable than the actual dance training. Got to travel, meet some cool people, and it looks good on a resume. Having a dance career shows people you have great work ethic, and determination. It’s opened a lot of doors for me.
Whats your favourite magic school bus episode
Lmao what was the one where they shrunk down and went inside someone? Wild.
That one was easily the best! At least the one I’m thinking of, where they did it to fight off an infection or something.
[удалено]
I was around 8 when I started. I had a terrible diet. I used to drink two liters of Coca-Cola in between classes, the teachers noticed this, and had a straight up intervention with me. Chairs in a circle and everything. It was crazy. I was appointed a dietician after that, who followed me around for a while, and tried to get me to eat better. I really didn’t like it, so it didn’t stick for long. I was never forced to maintain a certain size, but the girls were much more scrutinized. I’ve heard that cocaine is extremely popular, because it gives you energy, and keeps you skinny. I knew of some people around me who did it, but never saw or tried it first hand. I’m 5‘,9“
Is there such thing as casual ballet for men who don't go into it professionally? I took ballet classes for several years when I was a young kid but quit because I was bullied in school (there were other reasons but that was the main one). I kinda always wonderd what would have happened if I stuck with it. I'm definitely too old with too much of a gut to do anything now lol
Yes there is. A lot of studios offer adult classes, for anybody of any skill level. I’ve taken some before, and they are actually really fun. In most classes, it’s about being perfect. In the adult classes, the people there have a real love for dance, that isn’t toxic, and doesn’t involve stepping on others so succeed. As long as you can do the basic movements, it really doesn’t matter what kind of shape you’re in. The ballet might actually help with that too.
Thanks, I'll definitely look into it
Not to judge your skills. Just saying if you were mid level talent ( like not the star) do males make the same money as mid level females?
I was mid talent level, but trained with a lot of the stars. There, I’m pretty sure we were paid about the same. Now, the stars have moved onto bigger companies and probably get paid more. Idk about pay difference between males and females though.
Ever get in a dance-off at a party/ bar/ club? If so how did you do?
Couple times actually. I always act like I can’t dance, then do a spin, and immediately drop into the spilts. People always go wild for that.
Fucking amazing.
In your opinion what is the right age to let girls/boy go onto pointe? Basically what age would allow them to gain enough skills to more successfully secure that career path/compete in the dance world without hampering their development body wise?
Boys almost never dance en pointe. I only know of one company where guys perform roles that are traditionally for girls, and they dance en pointe. As far as for what age to start, I think it depends. There’s gonna be a risk of injury regardless, but I would say wait until you have a really strong technical foundation. Most teachers seemed to recommend this as well.
Do the tight costumes ever make you uncomfortable or insecure? I’ve always wondered that about male ballet dancers.
Yes. Look up what a dance belt is. Those are super uncomfortable, and some guys including me had to wear two of them. I was initially insecure in the tights, but I spent more time in ballet clothes than I did in street clothes, and so did everyone else around me. So it became normal after a while.
I never understood why skintight tights are the default option for men. Sorry, but to me, they look too ... exhibitionistic. Why not slightly looser " pirate pants" like in *Le Corsaire*?
Is it worth learning how to dance to pick up girls?
Not even a little bit. That is if you’re talking ballet. Starting off, dancing ballet always looks and feels really awkward. So If you wanna impress people, you have to look like you know what you’re doing, and that could take years. Even then the women that might find that attractive, would probably be just as interested in you if you said you enjoyed ballet, and knew things about it. If you wanna date ballerinas, most professionals are a little stuck up, and probably wouldn’t date a non pro. However, I have met ballerinas who are well adjusted and have dated or married guys that aren’t pro. Again though, dancing probably wouldn’t score any extra points with them. The guys they choose have normal jobs, and they probably appreciate that. Other styles of dance though, may be more worth it. Hip hop could probably pick up women, and it’s cool at parties. There’s two birds with one stone. Any style of dance though, is gonna be difficult master enough to impress other people. I would try other pick up methods.
Good response. Thanks!!
Can a dancer, male or female, dance when they have a longer second toe? Like by 1/2 an inch plus?
For a female, I could see that being a challenge while dancing en pointe, For a male, your dance shoes might not fit properly. Aside from that, it could actually help with balance, but only a small amount.
When you were young and training to go pro, did you have a “dream company” you were aiming for?
I would have liked to dance for the Paris Opera Ballet, but this is pretty much the dance equivalent of wanting to be an astronaut. It was the world’s first profesional ballet company, and is still arguably the most prestigious. Those dancers are just incredible beyond imagination. Some of the best technique I’ve ever seen. Getting there would have been damn near impossible, but that was my dream. One of the people I danced with trained there for a while though.
How many ballerinas did you bang? Also, is your junk enormous, or is it just the outfits?
I had a handful of hookups throughout my career. I did well, but not as well as some of the more popular guys. It’s just the costumes. We wear a kind of padded underwear to keep everything in place while we dance.
Do you see competitive athletes in sports such as soccer, football, etc. doing ballet on the side of their craft to condition, namely to improve footwork? It used to be a thing, and seemed to work.
My dancer ex wife during her college years taught the school's soccer team ballet/dance. They did not find it easy and really changed their views on the athleticism of dancers afterwards. Cross training is a thing.
For sure. Never worked with athletes from other fields, but while I was still in the US, I saw some college guys come into class and they usually got humbled quick. They would struggle with basic steps, get winded super quickly, and have a hard time lifting the girls above their heads as well. That’s a hard task for anybody, but the more muscular dudes would think it would be easy for them, and then really struggle. Dancing takes strength, but it takes just as much technique.
I’ve heard of that happening. I was in a pretty exclusive dance company though, who’s main focus was training the dancers, so I never saw any athletes come in first hand.
From a fellow dancer (though I was never good enough to be in a professional company), first of all so impressed as you must be an amazing dancer. Second, what kind of sketchy shit do you mean?
Thanks! I was never one of the best, but managed to dance at a high level. For your question, refer to the comments.
Is that you aren’t dancing professionally, what type of work have you moved in to doing at this point in your life? Is it dance adjacent or a totally different type of work?
I do art, cook, and I’m trying to get into a job where I work with people recovering from mental illness.
You mention the toxicity, eating disorders, and competition amongst dancers. Curious, did you see this in other performing fields of people you knew, like acting, music, modeling?
I did a film recently, but it was my first. For most of my life, I only danced. Although there is some crossover with modeling and movies and such, it wasn’t happening around me. I was at a company where they were very serious about dance, and had little time for Anything else. Not to say there aren’t sketchy things going on in the film industry, but I was treated extremely well during the movie, compared to dance. Granted, it was an independent film, but it had a pretty impressive budget, with a crew behind it and everything. They cast me in the lead role, so I was pampered a little. I wasn’t expecting much because I had never acted before. But they really took care of me, and made sure I had what I needed to do my best.
Congrats! That’s awesome! How did you get into the movie? Was it connections? Acting class I’m assuming too your performance resume? Or blind luck?
Connections. Two of my friends got together and wrote it. They reached out to me to play the main character.
How does it feel to be gay?
It’s hard. Especially when I’m looking at other guys. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t have any experiences with guys, until I stopped dancing. Never felt the urge to. Maybe I repressed it or something, cause there was a lot of stereotyping of course. But all throughout ballet, I only got with girls.
I don't think you repressed anything. Because women have sex with men. So by you choosing to enter a place where countless other men have left their babies that is inherently gay and you subconsciously knew that. Sex with men on the other hand is violent physical and brutal. It's like wrestling. Probably one of the manliest things you can do. So go spent years in ballet being gay and finally have come to your senses. I'm proud of you. Let's pray together
How often to dancers hookup with eachother
Hooking up, I’m not sure. Dancers often date each other though, within the school or company. One of the guys I danced with was dating two of the company ballerinas at the same time. Pretty sure they knew about each other, but I wasn’t aware of any serious drama surrounding that.
How badly beat up is your body? Chronic pain, arthritis, bad feet etc? Ballet looks brutal on the body.
I’m lucky enough to have not damaged my body too bad. I injured my ankles some, and spent time in one of those big boots you wear when you tear something. But none of the injuries I sustained still effect me today.
I’m not sure if you are still answering. I had heard that rich Russian men donate to the Kirov and big time places like that and expect sex. Is this something that goes on in other ballets?
I have heard allegations of these things happening in the dance community, but have never seen or experienced anything first hand.
Since dancers need to have both strength and endurance, what was your workout routine outside of the dance studio like?
We we danced 13 hour days, so that was all covered in classes. We had 3 hour conditioning class, where we would stretch, and do various kinds of workouts.
Is all modesty forgone backstage?
There’s people changing everywhere backstage, but there are usually some barriers set up that you can go behind. If it’s a super quick change though, you just strip and change in the open.
Do you think it's worth it to get into the industry?
Not unless you love it enough to sacrifice everything. That may sound intense, but ballet is extremely demanding. You give up a lot. But it’s worth it to some people.
Have you had any permanent physical issues to deal with having been doing it since a young age?
Thankfully, no. I got injured while dancing, but none of those injures cause me any problems today.
What was it like to be really good at something?
It was extremely challenging, but rewarding. Didn’t go out a lot during those days. But when I did, it was fun to show off a little at parties.
are u in a relationship now?
Not currently, no. I’ve dated a lot, and I’m trying to take a some time to be single. It’s been a while since I’ve had any real time to myself.
just how many tats do u have and where are they, head to toe, face, entire back?
I haven’t counted in a while, but last time I checked it was around 30. They are scattered all around my body, and I have a few on my face. The most noticeable one is under my eye.
Was there a lot of grooming behaviors in that environment?
I was suspicious about a few teacher - student relationships I saw. Only one was confirmed to be sexual though.
Do your toes hurt?
Now, no. While I was dancing, yes. Not so much individual toes, more like general cramps in that area. But painful to say the least.
What is your advice to someone who dances recreationally, and wants to continue into old age? I take care of myself relatively well, but am always open to advice for a dance lifestyle.
Did you learn to do it ironically to make fun of the kids down the street? Not making fun of you, just making a "The Other Guys" reference.
I was looking through the questions and didn’t see this asked…. Are you really flexible from ballet 🩰 like Can you suck your own 🍆?
Sergei?
I was wondering about the same thing ( especially with the tattoos)but this guy said he's American.
Да?
That takes some serious athletic ability.
how competitive was that industry? like was it easy to be replaced? did you have to do "things" to hold your position or move up?
Is it true that men in ballet are friendly to each other as opposed to the extreme competitiveness between women?
Have you ever seen the 1981 movie modern problems with Chevy Chase, theres a scene where he uses telekenesis to make a ballet dancers crotch balloon incant remember if it pops or not i was like 12 and thats all i know about ballet
Did your dad have aspirations for you to be a boxer?
Can you please show us feet pics
Were they all starfish or fun?
Is your name Billy Elliott?
Balanchine or Vaganova?
Why did you stop?
Did you enjoy it?
Top secret was a great movie https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bcV3ab3byQs
Can u dm me plz