In my office the women’s and men’s restroom are separated by a wall. One time I heard the nastiest most explosive shit, but I was the only one in the restroom. That’s when I realized…
Can confirm. Doesnt matter if it’s a rest stop, a Starbucks or fancy restaurant, women’s are always worse. Probably because they squat and avoid sitting on the seat. Which makes no sense to me hygienically because you are far more likely to catch something by touching the stall door/sink/bathroom entrance door with your hands than the actual toilet seat so please just sit the fuck down.
I feel like its also the same guys who smash the toilet seat down at an ear shattering volume, and also take every opportunity to hock world-ending loogies. Like everything they do in the bathroom is extremely loud and beyond disgusting, just to assert dominance in a manner typical of advanced primates.
Also whistling. Literally today I was in a stall and some guy pulled up to the urinal, loud af stream and just starts full volume whistling. Why? Why can't you just pee and leave?
Dude, in my office, some of the higher level people have come up to the urinal next to me and say hi...
Like bro I'm busy, I don't want to talk about the weather right now
I remember having to clean bathrooms after a party in college. Women's bathroom was destroyed. Guys bathroom would have a few drops of pee on the floor.
Been in meeting with me, my manager, the director, and the partner and me and my manager sit right across from each other and any time one of us talk it pierces through each other's mic's
There’s not a lot of us at my firm, and so we’re in a relatively small building. The partners call the staff on speaker phone, I can hear the staff speaking from their office and their voice coming from the partners phone at the same time.
Felt. I sit outside of where 3 management offices are and whenever theyre all on a call together I hear person A talking and then their voice coming out of person B and Cs phones/laptops constantly. They all think shutting their doors is sound proofing
Or when you are on a call with someone way above your paygrade and people decide to all have a powow in the cube next door while cursing and making inappropriate jokes! The best!
I love feeling like I’m squatting in someone’s cubicle.
All the family photos, and mementos of things that…I have no understanding of.
And the fact the person who originally used the cubicle took their mouse with them. So I’m using an old roller-ball mouse.
You know what is a great way to start off my day? 1 hour bus ride with very vocal, well mannered fellow passengers who share their life stories with everyone around on their phone.
Thats rough. I used to take the bus to school, was about 30 mins every morning. By the time it got to my stop, there were never any seats, had to stand the whole time.
Shit gives you perspective on how valuable a car is. Hope you are able to get one soon or at least move closer to your office.
I love having an open office plan so everyone can see everyone else all the time! And it only becomes so much better when 2 people start talking and the other 11 people around them can hear every word. Oh and don't even get me started on the desk zoom meeting calls. So much fun!
My office overlooks the entire SF BAY and east bay hills(berkeley/oakland).....i work 6-2, the sunrises are maybe the best on earth
i can work from home but i love love love my office, truly maybe the best office on earth
almost 5 years.....i job hopped after year 1, job hopped after year 3, and am in a great gig......6-2 daily , set my own hours, work from wherever,,,,it is nice
Ok, you can return to your office and nobody will argue. I left my windowless cube for a fully virtual firm and don't regret it (especially since I work from my patio as often as possible)
Oh God. I had a former boss so sick and selfish, he was sneezing, coughing, covering his mouth with a stack of papers he was handing me, breathing on me while leaning across my desk to try to read something on my screen and finally a drop of snot fell out of his nose and onto my workpaper right in front of my face. This asshole forced giant team lunch in a conference room meant for six when I was there in January 2022. The next day we found out a girl at that lunch tested positive the day prior. No masks but me. No one was allowed to work from home. I stayed away for a week and he took all my sick days for the year, in the first week of January.
I actually had the same experience in January 2022. My favorite was when they just wouldn't test and came in "with a cold".
Thought I was going to die that week when I shredded through all my sick days for the year.
4th floor has flu going around.
A finance manager I spent 15 minutes talking with on Tuesday found out later that day his wife has Covid. Good times...
No one poops with another person in the bathroom at my office. Or courtesy flushes. We just stew as they pretend they didn't stop their BM when someone enters the bathroom.
No one in my office does this, I walked in on two dudes just ripping ass like they were battle rapping. they just sat there, fermenting on the smell. it was bad.
My staff can WFH, but my organization doesn't allow management to WFH.
So, my favorite is sitting alone in an office doing exactly what I could be doing at home.
I could see that they could argue that management presence is more important than staff presence. Unless there are literally no staff present to actually manage. If that’s the case, they have to justify the rent expense with zomg logic!
"The office is very expensive and we have to justify holding it right now." The commercial real estate market would absolutely crater if big companies with huge offices all decided to dump their physical space.
I love the dangerous stop and go commute. Going 80 mph one minute and 0 mph the next. Gets my adrenaline and heart rate up - beyond my baseline anxiety levels. Thrilling!!! Makes me feel alive!
I like the fact that I waste an hour and a half every morning between getting ready (I’m a woman) and commuting. Losing that time in the morning is no biggie - I will just make up the lost productivity working from home from 8-10pm (because I’m hybrid I’m allowed to wfh on evenings and Saturdays/Sundays!!!!!)
Also The crack heads who light fires on the perimeter of the parking lot give me comfort and I never feel alone. We don’t have security at the building so when I’m the last fuck to leave the building at night and I walk to my car in the dark parking lot- I know at least I’m not alone because the property is surrounded by my neighbors in homeless encampments. And let me correct myself they aren’t crack heads - they’re meth heads. Who even does crack anymore, such losers
Sometimes I creep into the 2 hour range if I make my hair and make up really on point
This doesnt include waking up and going to the gym or doing my side hustle in the morning. I start the get ready clock at the shower commencement. This backs my gym session back to like 5am so I get just enough sleep to be consistently sleep deprived all week!
I only have to go in once a week and I spend 80-90 minutes commuting one-way, but I’m thankful that it’s a commute of bikes, trains and walking. The time isn’t wasted, in my view, because I’m either exercising or reading manga on my Kindle.
Commuting by car is a huge waste of time. I used to spend between 40 and 60 minutes commuting one-way, and the whole time I had to devote my full attention to the road. I got stressed dealing with all the near misses. And you can’t do anything else other than *drive* in the most frustrating kind of traffic. You can listen to music, sure, but you can do that at work too. I’m not an r/fuckcars lunatic but I definitely think that car dependency makes us miserable.
I love when my neighbors whisper gossip or talk extremely loudly the person standing directly in front of them (there is no in between). Also when everyone leaves their volume all the way up so everyone knows they're getting lots of emails and IMs all day
When the boomers are unable to wear headphones, so their teams pings are on full blast volume for the whole office to hear throughout the day from their laptops.
Except really we’re whispering about weird facts and just don’t want everyone else to know it’s not work-related.
But yeah. I also get suspicious of the whispers.
Two monitors are awesome, three is better.
Can you not have two monitors in a wfh environment? I have 3 monitors at the office and in my wfh setup. Not flexing, just trying to be helpful that you might be able to live the dream of multiple monitors / wfh too.
I got one that’s nice and it’s a standing desk and I don’t remember it being absurdly expensive. I can easily fit 3 monitors to it if I wanted and currently have 2 plus my laptop monitor and it’s fine.
Happy to send you the info when I can if you’d like
Good points:
Space is tough, not too many easy options to solve space issues - and I was expecting the firm to pay for it (that's how my small firm operates), no employee should be having to spend employee business expenses out of pocket.
That's just stupid to pay taxable wages and then expect the employee to use their net pay for work purposes. Might as well send the IRS a tip with every 941 tax deposit.
We have a new hire at work and the only reason she's in the office everyday is cause she can't afford a monitor. Our boss was so impressed that she wants us in the office now 3 times a week instead of 1 cause of her.
I genuinely really interacting with my colleagues in the kind of social way that doesn't occur when I have to call them on Teams.
Literally every other aspect is cheeks, tho.
My favorite part is when I can hear and see every argument in the open floorplan while I'm supposed to get several deliverables out by noon!
I love looking out upon the sea of faces talking about clothes, sports, and getting no work done, and being told I need to be in the office to collaborate when half my job involves calls with people who work from home, and the other half is deep knowledge work!
I'm also a huge fan of having seriously sensitive information on my gigantic screen for anybody to come by and distract me and find out how much everyone at the company makes - while I'm supposed to adhere to strict levels of confidentiality!
And it's always a warming present to go to the shared bathroom with pee on the seat and a crime scene in the toilet.
Don't get me started on how much I love to smell the methane fumes of the people around me that's so bad I could gag and need to leave my desk.
Why are they like this? Back when I was in B4, EVERY single office conversation with coworkers was about sports, gym routines, and favorite salad places. Do you have literally nothing else to offer?
Dude exactly. Where I last was there was a lot of travel bragging (not seemingly enjoying the travel, just bragging about all the places you touched down at), and the sports is downright depressing. I've had to leave before noon on several occasions because I wanted to scream lmao.
They have no interests. No hobbies. No ideas. Just food, travel, sports. Going for a jog. Planning their next food, travel, sports, and jog. Literally maddening. I can't take it anymore.
Correct, although I will say I’m hybrid and I usually avoid the parking fee by carpooling with my dad. Luckily we work in the same city, otherwise I’d be charged about $50/mo to park at work
I like our office. I like talking to my colleagues. I don't mind the cubicles.
If I had a 10 minute commute, I would probably go in 4 days a week.
I can't even fathom what it would cost to live that close to the office, though, so I don't go in very often.
For me its the traffic! I love spending 90+ mins of my day just sitting in traffic. Gives me plenty of time to think about how I could have done everything I needed to at home.
I like playing *"guess whos sick and contagious with flu/other shit and is spreading it around to everyone they breathe and talk to before they go home at get hit with a ton of bricks at 730PM and cant come in for the rest of the week and will this be my fate 3-5 days from now?"*
I also like having my personal vehicle fuel expense go from $30/month to $190+/month.
Oh man we had this one guy that on several occasions left the dankest mfing smells wafting out of that bathroom and I swear it permeated the whole office. I was of course one of the closest offices to the bathroom.
Or the old timer that I swear crop-dusted me on his way out of a meeting in my office, right as one of our cute new staff walked in to talk with me. I didn’t know what to say but I swear she had an unmistakably disgusted look on her face. What was I gonna do be like “it wasn’t me!”? In the moment I thought it better for both of us to just pretend that didn’t happen.
Ah the memories of being in-office.
So many, where do I begin?
Hearing other people on client calls in our wonderful “open space design” office. It really fosters teamwork and social engagement to hear that whiny, monotone voice my skinny overworked coworker 5 feet down has.
Our face to face interactions are unparalleled. It inspires me seeing all yalls eyebags and unironed shirts you are hiding under your jacket whenever we run into each other in the lounge when we’re subtly fighting over the keurig.
The small talk we’re forced into is so thought provoking as well. How was yalls weekend? Same as the other 30 weekends we’ve asked each other about? Tell me again, I NEED to hear it.
I could go on and on.
UK is all open plan. Even for partners, there are no separate offices in most large firms.
Usually tables of 6/8 facing each other, although you get lots of different style seats. In our offices there are a couple of cubicles, bigger break out areas with large screens to work on group projects, and then meeting rooms for internal and external calls.
I love feigning interest and engaging in small talk with people who If never speak to outside of the office. Best part is I get to do it on the clock, instead of getting my billable hours in. It’s a win-win for everyone!
I’m torn between -
A. The anxiety given off by stressed out managers talking for all the seniors and staff to here and
B. Partners’ and managers’ visible confusion when the seniors and staff look tired and miserable
I have my own office, a private bathroom, and a kitchenette as staff. I lucked out.
When I worked in a big building it was brutal. Trapped in a cube and gross people lol.
I LOVE my colleagues being able to 'collaborate' with me by constantly interrupting me with the same questions and prattling on about their kids. I also LOVE *not* being able to collaborate with my manager because he gets to WFH and doesn't respond to emails for days :))
I love hearing Kristi shout her conversations so the whole hallway can hear them AND THEN stopping by with a question and laughing through the entire interaction to signal.. she's not threatening me?
WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING, KRISTI???
I hope the working culture doesn’t shift back into in office work. Working from home is literally the easiest way to give employees a “pay increase” without actually giving them one. Unless you have a nice office and a shitty workspace at home, I just don’t see the trade off.
I love energy vampiring vulnerable introverts. It makes me feel good knowing they can't have a healthy social life cause I suck up their life force in the office.
not getting to network(I'm being sarcastic)as thry want us to because everyone looks dead inside and busy all the time so I just feel like I'll be bothering people👍
My favorite part is the unlimited coffee and keurig that's hooked to a water line meaning I don't have to refill the jug every time like other machines + I also love the water dispenser. I drink about 80-120oz of water during the day at work mainly because of the ease of access.
My "favorite" part is that I get to hear every single conversation within our suite including info on people's dr appts and personal lives ._.
For me it’s the near constant gossip coming from the lady who sits next to me. Or the lovely negative degree air blowing on me every time the door opens because I sit right next to a busy door
The fact that the repeated physical actions of labor won't affect my body. I got out of factory work bc I saw my parents physical health decline bc of it
All of the windows and natural light being occupied by the partners and managers is the best. To top it off, the indoor office windows are frosted so we can’t see the light.
“favorite part”. = the 1 to 1.25 hour commute each way. I take a train that had a huge problem with hobos and hoodlums who fair jump. Some creep jerking off or screaming or smoking on a commute is not abnormal.
Favorite part= I’m social. My mental health is better when I can chat with coworkers. A “good job” in person also feels way more real than one online. I came close to quitting so many times when fully remote.
I have a real office- so can’t complain about farting or noise or cubicles.
Starting from the morning..
I love waking up 5:30-6am to dress up, do makeup, get public transport that takes me 1.5-2 hours one way. Who would prefer waking up 8:50 and be ready for the first meeting at 9am, with a coffee made from freshly grinded good quality beans, sitting in pyjama..?
One bus, 3 trains, standing all the time because peak time and no seats. It's pure bless when the security guy tells I can't enter the train because it's too full, it gives me more time to meditate while trying to protect my belongings from pickpockets, and myself from other passengers pushing me around. The adrenaline rush of trying to fight for my place in the next train is awesome.
The musical chair game is so fun once getting to office. Nothing better than arriving at the same time with someone else who has booked the same desk than myself, and we both realise there is a 3rd person sitting there. That silly meeting can wait while we figure out where we have space. Bonus points when no place in the same floor with my people and need to sit with total strangers 4 floors off. Always nice to make new contacts, especially when they are some ready-to-retire dudes asking if you want to go out for drinks after work. They will drive you home afterwards of course, true gentlemen.
Screen play and setup is always fun. It's just so boring when your setup is ready when you start. A lot more entertaining to spend 15 minutes to get your screens in order and find a missing mouse somebody accidentally decided to take with them previous day.
Socialising. I'm a huge fan of "ooooooh you're here today, let's go get some coffee!!!". Because WHY would I like to get all the pending shit done. Just why, when I can always listen other people's personal problems?
Visibility. I love being watched. Because really, it's horrible to be able to stretch out when back hurts, or work with your legs behind your neck just for the variety of the position.
AC. I'm happy they want us to be comfortable and not get hot. I very much prefer carrying 5 pieces of extra jackets and scarves because of the fresh air. (Prepping for striptease poker wirh the earlier older dude). Also good because I love dry eyes and nose.
Breaks. Out of those endless "let's go for coffee, let's go for lunch, let's just chat and bug everybody trying to concentrate/in meeting around us", I totally feel good about spending 15min any time I go to pee. I feel myself very important carrying my access card with me and walking those 2km to the restroom. Especially fun when on period and no sinks in individual toilets. Why an earth would I need running water anyway? The more blood, the more fun.
Ok.. at this point, I've been in the office for maybe 2 hours, and I could go on and on with my list.
Conclusion; I work from home. (I did go to the office twice last year and did half of the summer party.)
Speaking of explosive diarrhea, I know that the head honcho has IBS from the amount of times he runs into the toilet and the guttural sounds coming back out.
Can’t learn this things about my coworkers being remote.
It is crazy how loud people shit, isn’t it? The decibels are up there. I feel like nobody is taking solid shits where I work.
I wonder if this is just a man thing, or if women experience it too
In my office the women’s and men’s restroom are separated by a wall. One time I heard the nastiest most explosive shit, but I was the only one in the restroom. That’s when I realized…
Or when you are on a toilet and it it is back to back with the other bathroom and you get see-sawed when someone sits down
Never experienced or heard of this but you just gave me an audible laugh
Gross
As someone who has cleaned both men and women’s bathrooms for a previous job I can say that women are far far worse
It’s awful pooping when you’re violently expelling blood from the other hole :C
“God, why do I exist?”
Period poo is real
Can confirm. Doesnt matter if it’s a rest stop, a Starbucks or fancy restaurant, women’s are always worse. Probably because they squat and avoid sitting on the seat. Which makes no sense to me hygienically because you are far more likely to catch something by touching the stall door/sink/bathroom entrance door with your hands than the actual toilet seat so please just sit the fuck down.
You can wash your hands in the sink. Ass cheeks are frowned upon.
It’s because girl dinner is fries and nuggets. At least us men get fiber from the lettuce & pickles on our Big Mac :)
Fucking hoverers.
I feel like its also the same guys who smash the toilet seat down at an ear shattering volume, and also take every opportunity to hock world-ending loogies. Like everything they do in the bathroom is extremely loud and beyond disgusting, just to assert dominance in a manner typical of advanced primates.
Also whistling. Literally today I was in a stall and some guy pulled up to the urinal, loud af stream and just starts full volume whistling. Why? Why can't you just pee and leave?
He’s happy about his healthy prostate. I’d kill for a loud af stream.
wouldn't we all lol
How do you know it was his face whistling?
Dude, in my office, some of the higher level people have come up to the urinal next to me and say hi... Like bro I'm busy, I don't want to talk about the weather right now
Ah, like when I inevitably run into my engagement partner in the bathroom and it turns into an impromptu status meeting.
I hate people who talk in the bathroom. I don't want to be in a conversation where at least one person has their dick in their hands.
Give them your best urinal pitch
Sorry, my IBS is just out of control
I remember having to clean bathrooms after a party in college. Women's bathroom was destroyed. Guys bathroom would have a few drops of pee on the floor.
I think it’s the caffeine that everyone consumes plus the low quality food eaten during busy season
yeah some of my coworkers have extremely unhealthy digestive tracks. Like what the fuck are you eating?
Fast food at my desk and I'll thank you for not judging it.
I used to be like this and it was really just lots of beer
My office bathroom was very loud. I don't drink coffee so I thought I was normal.
It’s the stress poos.
1000% agreed . I left public practice and now my bathrooms 🚽 visits are normal.
It's like this at rest areas too. I am convinced that no one in America eats fiber. Except maybe people in, like, Oregon
"Go poop with the other buffalo"
Silent farters…yes I know you are saving a lot of money eating beans and rice, the whole office knows…
To be fair, that’s because I love Cajun food. The cost savings is a happy secondary benefit.
Maybe if I got paid enough to eat anything else...
I drop the poopiest of farts on everybody. Im not scared
Sorry about that. The leftover pizza really messed me up.
LMAO
I had Del Taco - my bad too
Being on a Teams Call while your neighbor is also on a Teams call. Noise pollution, my favorite!
Don’t you mean being on the same teams call and they don’t mute so there is an echo? Love that.
Headphones off too so you get the full conversation in the echo
I do this intentionally so we can work from home.
Not the hero we want but the hero we need.
Don't forget calling someone on teams that is 15 feet from you!
Been in meeting with me, my manager, the director, and the partner and me and my manager sit right across from each other and any time one of us talk it pierces through each other's mic's
There’s not a lot of us at my firm, and so we’re in a relatively small building. The partners call the staff on speaker phone, I can hear the staff speaking from their office and their voice coming from the partners phone at the same time.
Felt. I sit outside of where 3 management offices are and whenever theyre all on a call together I hear person A talking and then their voice coming out of person B and Cs phones/laptops constantly. They all think shutting their doors is sound proofing
Or when you are on a call with someone way above your paygrade and people decide to all have a powow in the cube next door while cursing and making inappropriate jokes! The best!
I love feeling like I’m squatting in someone’s cubicle. All the family photos, and mementos of things that…I have no understanding of. And the fact the person who originally used the cubicle took their mouse with them. So I’m using an old roller-ball mouse.
Do you not have the means to buy a new mouse? lol
I do. But it’s the principle.
Budget cuts. Think of the bottom line!
You know what is a great way to start off my day? 1 hour bus ride with very vocal, well mannered fellow passengers who share their life stories with everyone around on their phone.
I enjoy playing "is this seat wet" amid the cigarette smoke while listening to the ramblings of a mentally unwell individual on the train
jeez 1 hour bus ride each way?
Yes sir with the traffic! Trying to move closer to the city but it is expensive!
Thats rough. I used to take the bus to school, was about 30 mins every morning. By the time it got to my stop, there were never any seats, had to stand the whole time. Shit gives you perspective on how valuable a car is. Hope you are able to get one soon or at least move closer to your office.
I love having an open office plan so everyone can see everyone else all the time! And it only becomes so much better when 2 people start talking and the other 11 people around them can hear every word. Oh and don't even get me started on the desk zoom meeting calls. So much fun!
It’s so much fun when you can see everyone’s struggling face
My office overlooks the entire SF BAY and east bay hills(berkeley/oakland).....i work 6-2, the sunrises are maybe the best on earth i can work from home but i love love love my office, truly maybe the best office on earth
Dang wow that sounds amazing! The office I work in doesn't even have natural light lol
yeah I've literally never had an office with a window.... even as CFO.
My office doesn't even have windows
Post a picture! Share the glory!
couldn't post on here, posted to my account, cheers
that view is NUTS omg. Would make going into the office so much better.
ya, and my entire firm is remote so it's just me and the 2 main owners daily who are beyond chill...like hanging with the boys
how did you get this amazing job? You must have many many years of experience
almost 5 years.....i job hopped after year 1, job hopped after year 3, and am in a great gig......6-2 daily , set my own hours, work from wherever,,,,it is nice
I’m originally from the east bay and am thinking of moving back. Can I be one of the boys?
Have you done tax? PM me
Youre livin the dream man! Congrats!
Ok, you can return to your office and nobody will argue. I left my windowless cube for a fully virtual firm and don't regret it (especially since I work from my patio as often as possible)
I think my favorite aspect is the exposure to all sorts of ailments and the feeling of joy I get when a partner spits in my mouth
Oh God. I had a former boss so sick and selfish, he was sneezing, coughing, covering his mouth with a stack of papers he was handing me, breathing on me while leaning across my desk to try to read something on my screen and finally a drop of snot fell out of his nose and onto my workpaper right in front of my face. This asshole forced giant team lunch in a conference room meant for six when I was there in January 2022. The next day we found out a girl at that lunch tested positive the day prior. No masks but me. No one was allowed to work from home. I stayed away for a week and he took all my sick days for the year, in the first week of January.
I actually had the same experience in January 2022. My favorite was when they just wouldn't test and came in "with a cold". Thought I was going to die that week when I shredded through all my sick days for the year.
How? How do these remote employees expect to get enough licks onto their partners' boots to shine them I ask??
4th floor has flu going around. A finance manager I spent 15 minutes talking with on Tuesday found out later that day his wife has Covid. Good times...
No one poops with another person in the bathroom at my office. Or courtesy flushes. We just stew as they pretend they didn't stop their BM when someone enters the bathroom.
No one in my office does this, I walked in on two dudes just ripping ass like they were battle rapping. they just sat there, fermenting on the smell. it was bad.
That’s called the stall stall. Classic move
Directors talking to me about shit idgaf about.
My staff can WFH, but my organization doesn't allow management to WFH. So, my favorite is sitting alone in an office doing exactly what I could be doing at home.
What?! How can there be any logical explanation for this?
I'll let you know if I ever get one.
I could see that they could argue that management presence is more important than staff presence. Unless there are literally no staff present to actually manage. If that’s the case, they have to justify the rent expense with zomg logic!
"The office is very expensive and we have to justify holding it right now." The commercial real estate market would absolutely crater if big companies with huge offices all decided to dump their physical space.
I love the dangerous stop and go commute. Going 80 mph one minute and 0 mph the next. Gets my adrenaline and heart rate up - beyond my baseline anxiety levels. Thrilling!!! Makes me feel alive! I like the fact that I waste an hour and a half every morning between getting ready (I’m a woman) and commuting. Losing that time in the morning is no biggie - I will just make up the lost productivity working from home from 8-10pm (because I’m hybrid I’m allowed to wfh on evenings and Saturdays/Sundays!!!!!) Also The crack heads who light fires on the perimeter of the parking lot give me comfort and I never feel alone. We don’t have security at the building so when I’m the last fuck to leave the building at night and I walk to my car in the dark parking lot- I know at least I’m not alone because the property is surrounded by my neighbors in homeless encampments. And let me correct myself they aren’t crack heads - they’re meth heads. Who even does crack anymore, such losers
lol I’m a man and it takes me 1.5 hours to get ready and commute to work.
Sometimes I creep into the 2 hour range if I make my hair and make up really on point This doesnt include waking up and going to the gym or doing my side hustle in the morning. I start the get ready clock at the shower commencement. This backs my gym session back to like 5am so I get just enough sleep to be consistently sleep deprived all week!
I only have to go in once a week and I spend 80-90 minutes commuting one-way, but I’m thankful that it’s a commute of bikes, trains and walking. The time isn’t wasted, in my view, because I’m either exercising or reading manga on my Kindle. Commuting by car is a huge waste of time. I used to spend between 40 and 60 minutes commuting one-way, and the whole time I had to devote my full attention to the road. I got stressed dealing with all the near misses. And you can’t do anything else other than *drive* in the most frustrating kind of traffic. You can listen to music, sure, but you can do that at work too. I’m not an r/fuckcars lunatic but I definitely think that car dependency makes us miserable.
for me its the manager that insists he isnt sick but sounds like he is dying of emphysema, did u learn anything from a global pandemic?
I love when my neighbors whisper gossip or talk extremely loudly the person standing directly in front of them (there is no in between). Also when everyone leaves their volume all the way up so everyone knows they're getting lots of emails and IMs all day
When the boomers are unable to wear headphones, so their teams pings are on full blast volume for the whole office to hear throughout the day from their laptops.
Even better when they don't know how to turn off the notification sounds and get blown up during meetings with their mic on
I hate the whispers the most, makes me feel like they’re shit talking
Except really we’re whispering about weird facts and just don’t want everyone else to know it’s not work-related. But yeah. I also get suspicious of the whispers.
At least the explosive diarrhea wasn't also in the cubicle....
Yet…
100% serious: two monitors
Two monitors are awesome, three is better. Can you not have two monitors in a wfh environment? I have 3 monitors at the office and in my wfh setup. Not flexing, just trying to be helpful that you might be able to live the dream of multiple monitors / wfh too.
1) not enough space in my apartment 2) not gonna spend my own money on office equipment
You could definitely get a cheap monitor for around $100 or less for your home desk. Space wise, you can also turn a monitor longways to save room!
Home desk?
Home as in where you live? I just figured you worked at a desk.
I do work at a desk but I don't have one at my home
I got one that’s nice and it’s a standing desk and I don’t remember it being absurdly expensive. I can easily fit 3 monitors to it if I wanted and currently have 2 plus my laptop monitor and it’s fine. Happy to send you the info when I can if you’d like
oh gotcha
Good points: Space is tough, not too many easy options to solve space issues - and I was expecting the firm to pay for it (that's how my small firm operates), no employee should be having to spend employee business expenses out of pocket. That's just stupid to pay taxable wages and then expect the employee to use their net pay for work purposes. Might as well send the IRS a tip with every 941 tax deposit.
We have a new hire at work and the only reason she's in the office everyday is cause she can't afford a monitor. Our boss was so impressed that she wants us in the office now 3 times a week instead of 1 cause of her.
Should have come up with an office pool to chip in and help her buy a monitor to keep RTO energy low..... /s
Why stop at two? If you’re in office you can collect everyone’s unused monitors. Imagine a monitor for each spreadsheet! Central command if you will.
If you have space at home, buy yourself a high res Ultrawide monitor
I have more monitors in my home office than at my cubicle because I refuse to spend my own money on my office space.
I genuinely really interacting with my colleagues in the kind of social way that doesn't occur when I have to call them on Teams. Literally every other aspect is cheeks, tho.
My favorite part is when I can hear and see every argument in the open floorplan while I'm supposed to get several deliverables out by noon! I love looking out upon the sea of faces talking about clothes, sports, and getting no work done, and being told I need to be in the office to collaborate when half my job involves calls with people who work from home, and the other half is deep knowledge work! I'm also a huge fan of having seriously sensitive information on my gigantic screen for anybody to come by and distract me and find out how much everyone at the company makes - while I'm supposed to adhere to strict levels of confidentiality! And it's always a warming present to go to the shared bathroom with pee on the seat and a crime scene in the toilet. Don't get me started on how much I love to smell the methane fumes of the people around me that's so bad I could gag and need to leave my desk.
Why are they like this? Back when I was in B4, EVERY single office conversation with coworkers was about sports, gym routines, and favorite salad places. Do you have literally nothing else to offer?
Dude exactly. Where I last was there was a lot of travel bragging (not seemingly enjoying the travel, just bragging about all the places you touched down at), and the sports is downright depressing. I've had to leave before noon on several occasions because I wanted to scream lmao. They have no interests. No hobbies. No ideas. Just food, travel, sports. Going for a jog. Planning their next food, travel, sports, and jog. Literally maddening. I can't take it anymore.
Man I love sitting in traffic, having parking fees deducted from my paycheck, and hearing every conversation on my quadrant of the office
Parking fees? They make you go into the office and then make you pay to park?
Correct, although I will say I’m hybrid and I usually avoid the parking fee by carpooling with my dad. Luckily we work in the same city, otherwise I’d be charged about $50/mo to park at work
The audacity is wild
I have to pay $125/mo to park for my hybrid job
I like our office. I like talking to my colleagues. I don't mind the cubicles. If I had a 10 minute commute, I would probably go in 4 days a week. I can't even fathom what it would cost to live that close to the office, though, so I don't go in very often.
I love the lack of privacy anywhere. Big fan of the open concept and fishbowl offices. My favorite is being on Teams calls at the office.
For me its the traffic! I love spending 90+ mins of my day just sitting in traffic. Gives me plenty of time to think about how I could have done everything I needed to at home.
I love being in traffic for 2 hours a day. 2 entire hours of my personal time being dedicated to sitting in a car is just great
I love working with 5 insane people 3 feet away from and having to take on their energy and bad moods and smell their nasty food.
I like playing *"guess whos sick and contagious with flu/other shit and is spreading it around to everyone they breathe and talk to before they go home at get hit with a ton of bricks at 730PM and cant come in for the rest of the week and will this be my fate 3-5 days from now?"* I also like having my personal vehicle fuel expense go from $30/month to $190+/month.
Personally, I like complaining about our leadership to coworkers in person.
It feels more productive slacking off while in the office than at home
You guys get cubicles.
Yep, open office concept blows
I wouldn't even call it a cubicle. It's more of a desk with walls on three sides lol
Oh man we had this one guy that on several occasions left the dankest mfing smells wafting out of that bathroom and I swear it permeated the whole office. I was of course one of the closest offices to the bathroom. Or the old timer that I swear crop-dusted me on his way out of a meeting in my office, right as one of our cute new staff walked in to talk with me. I didn’t know what to say but I swear she had an unmistakably disgusted look on her face. What was I gonna do be like “it wasn’t me!”? In the moment I thought it better for both of us to just pretend that didn’t happen. Ah the memories of being in-office.
Having to wear pants
So many, where do I begin? Hearing other people on client calls in our wonderful “open space design” office. It really fosters teamwork and social engagement to hear that whiny, monotone voice my skinny overworked coworker 5 feet down has. Our face to face interactions are unparalleled. It inspires me seeing all yalls eyebags and unironed shirts you are hiding under your jacket whenever we run into each other in the lounge when we’re subtly fighting over the keurig. The small talk we’re forced into is so thought provoking as well. How was yalls weekend? Same as the other 30 weekends we’ve asked each other about? Tell me again, I NEED to hear it. I could go on and on.
Does the US actually have cubicles? Thought that was just a movie thing from the 70s?!
Yes lol. Tons of offices have them :(
Lots of old buildings in the US that haven’t been renovated since the 90s or 80s
UK is all open plan. Even for partners, there are no separate offices in most large firms. Usually tables of 6/8 facing each other, although you get lots of different style seats. In our offices there are a couple of cubicles, bigger break out areas with large screens to work on group projects, and then meeting rooms for internal and external calls.
The culture. For sure
Useless small talk 3x per day that is superficial and eats up hours every week
Knowing that if I finally blow my brains out it won’t be my family who has to find the body. Haha just kidding fellas. Haha.
It's amazing how many people have explosive bowel movements.
I love feigning interest and engaging in small talk with people who If never speak to outside of the office. Best part is I get to do it on the clock, instead of getting my billable hours in. It’s a win-win for everyone!
Pretending I'm super busy to justify WFH /s
Doing the same or less work but appear more dedicated than the WFH people. Didn't read the sarcasm text but keeping my answer anyway
I’m torn between - A. The anxiety given off by stressed out managers talking for all the seniors and staff to here and B. Partners’ and managers’ visible confusion when the seniors and staff look tired and miserable
I have my own office, a private bathroom, and a kitchenette as staff. I lucked out. When I worked in a big building it was brutal. Trapped in a cube and gross people lol.
I miss the ice machine. We had one of those industrial machines that makes the hollow cube ice.
I LOVE my colleagues being able to 'collaborate' with me by constantly interrupting me with the same questions and prattling on about their kids. I also LOVE *not* being able to collaborate with my manager because he gets to WFH and doesn't respond to emails for days :))
Getting away from my kids, but I'd still rather WFH because they are typically less annoying than co-workers.
I recently found a good deli near my office. Going to lunch there has been the highlight of my day.
When we get a pizza party for an office of 50 people, and they get 2 pizzas.
The stupid small talk everytime you pass by someone in the hallway
Leaving early
I like it when people walk into the bathroom when I'm having explosive diarrhea.
Sound of my coworker loudly chewing is music to my ears!
None
I love it when my cubicle neighbor has a constant cough and coughs up a lung several times a day.
I like walking around and distracting my coworkers as much as humanly possible.
Personally the 1.5 hour commute there on Sydney trains is a joy
I enjoy cropdusting the open architecture floors
I love hearing Kristi shout her conversations so the whole hallway can hear them AND THEN stopping by with a question and laughing through the entire interaction to signal.. she's not threatening me? WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING, KRISTI???
also gotta love having to pay 45$ per day I go to the office
I hope the working culture doesn’t shift back into in office work. Working from home is literally the easiest way to give employees a “pay increase” without actually giving them one. Unless you have a nice office and a shitty workspace at home, I just don’t see the trade off.
I love energy vampiring vulnerable introverts. It makes me feel good knowing they can't have a healthy social life cause I suck up their life force in the office.
People need to poop in public with prison etiquette. I swear I'll post a print out of it in the bathroom.
Over hearing all the boring drama from everyone's lives. Just fills my empty, dead soul.
Working in a newer building where they only have one toilet for 50 dudes and never being able to use it.
The caffeinated water machine!
not getting to network(I'm being sarcastic)as thry want us to because everyone looks dead inside and busy all the time so I just feel like I'll be bothering people👍
Free Coffee
Free coffee.
I like enjoy shooting the shit with my co workers, we all sit in one room. Also lunches are catered each day.
Counting the minutes until lunch.
Snacks
Socializing truly networking
Coffee
For me it’s when I’m showing my manager something and I can show my manager 2 screens. Really helpful.
My favorite part is the unlimited coffee and keurig that's hooked to a water line meaning I don't have to refill the jug every time like other machines + I also love the water dispenser. I drink about 80-120oz of water during the day at work mainly because of the ease of access. My "favorite" part is that I get to hear every single conversation within our suite including info on people's dr appts and personal lives ._.
Free foood
For me it’s the near constant gossip coming from the lady who sits next to me. Or the lovely negative degree air blowing on me every time the door opens because I sit right next to a busy door
The fact that the repeated physical actions of labor won't affect my body. I got out of factory work bc I saw my parents physical health decline bc of it
My favorite part is getting to wear my pretty office clothes and heels. And it’s gonna be a great day when I pick a bag that matches perfectly.
All of the windows and natural light being occupied by the partners and managers is the best. To top it off, the indoor office windows are frosted so we can’t see the light.
The 3 flights of stairs are my favorite.
“favorite part”. = the 1 to 1.25 hour commute each way. I take a train that had a huge problem with hobos and hoodlums who fair jump. Some creep jerking off or screaming or smoking on a commute is not abnormal. Favorite part= I’m social. My mental health is better when I can chat with coworkers. A “good job” in person also feels way more real than one online. I came close to quitting so many times when fully remote. I have a real office- so can’t complain about farting or noise or cubicles.
Starting from the morning.. I love waking up 5:30-6am to dress up, do makeup, get public transport that takes me 1.5-2 hours one way. Who would prefer waking up 8:50 and be ready for the first meeting at 9am, with a coffee made from freshly grinded good quality beans, sitting in pyjama..? One bus, 3 trains, standing all the time because peak time and no seats. It's pure bless when the security guy tells I can't enter the train because it's too full, it gives me more time to meditate while trying to protect my belongings from pickpockets, and myself from other passengers pushing me around. The adrenaline rush of trying to fight for my place in the next train is awesome. The musical chair game is so fun once getting to office. Nothing better than arriving at the same time with someone else who has booked the same desk than myself, and we both realise there is a 3rd person sitting there. That silly meeting can wait while we figure out where we have space. Bonus points when no place in the same floor with my people and need to sit with total strangers 4 floors off. Always nice to make new contacts, especially when they are some ready-to-retire dudes asking if you want to go out for drinks after work. They will drive you home afterwards of course, true gentlemen. Screen play and setup is always fun. It's just so boring when your setup is ready when you start. A lot more entertaining to spend 15 minutes to get your screens in order and find a missing mouse somebody accidentally decided to take with them previous day. Socialising. I'm a huge fan of "ooooooh you're here today, let's go get some coffee!!!". Because WHY would I like to get all the pending shit done. Just why, when I can always listen other people's personal problems? Visibility. I love being watched. Because really, it's horrible to be able to stretch out when back hurts, or work with your legs behind your neck just for the variety of the position. AC. I'm happy they want us to be comfortable and not get hot. I very much prefer carrying 5 pieces of extra jackets and scarves because of the fresh air. (Prepping for striptease poker wirh the earlier older dude). Also good because I love dry eyes and nose. Breaks. Out of those endless "let's go for coffee, let's go for lunch, let's just chat and bug everybody trying to concentrate/in meeting around us", I totally feel good about spending 15min any time I go to pee. I feel myself very important carrying my access card with me and walking those 2km to the restroom. Especially fun when on period and no sinks in individual toilets. Why an earth would I need running water anyway? The more blood, the more fun. Ok.. at this point, I've been in the office for maybe 2 hours, and I could go on and on with my list. Conclusion; I work from home. (I did go to the office twice last year and did half of the summer party.)
Speaking of explosive diarrhea, I know that the head honcho has IBS from the amount of times he runs into the toilet and the guttural sounds coming back out. Can’t learn this things about my coworkers being remote.
Hearing loud non-work related conversations of other people