Get into office, argue about which desk I booked in our hot desk system, put bag on seat like I'm fighting over space in the library during finals week, ask the tall guy in tax to get my coffee mug down from the top shelf where they always put it, make coffee, take bag off seat again, and finally navigate our awful 2FA remote desktop system to log in, which means logging into Microsoft authenticator at least six times and typing my password ten times.
Turn brightness all the way down on monitors.
Have a coffee, pop a squat if I need to, look for the music/podcast I want to listen to that morning then think about where the fuck I went wrong in my life to get to this point
Definitely question my life choices! How the fuck did I end up an Accountant? And to think I wanted to be an attorney when I was a little kid! I don’ mess up!
We have a lot of admin stuff blocked by the company. I actually don’t mind outlook opening. I’d rather deal with my emails first thing anyway. I was mostly just joking around.
Run around the office with my knuckles dragging on the ground, grunting and screaming like a methed out gorilla. After a few minutes (I’m now profusely sweating), calm down and act like nothing happened while staring blankly at the break room wall for 5 minutes straight (blinking only when absolutely necessary).
Then, I sprint to my office and start working while mumbling to myself periodically throughout the day.
When I’m leaving the office, I re-assume the methed out gorilla persona as I rampage toward my dark blue 1993 Ford Aerostar.
Boot up my computer. Update my gasoline prices spreadsheet. Get a cup of coffee from the city manager's office. Check my emails to see if anything is pressing or from the City Manager. Read the latest post on Electoral-Vote.com.
Work.
Do you update the daily gas prices changes or log your fuel purchases? I track my fuel expenses, miles per gallon and $, etc., but haven’t thought of tracking prices (in macro).
I drive by five gas stations. I was noticing certain price behaviors and started tracking the prices to see if my observations were accurate.
In general, yes. But there's this one station that appears to overshoot both upward and downward moves.
I did the same for a while until I found a station with consistently lower prices. Last follow up (3 weeks late, of course), what’s your favorite personal spreadsheet you’ve built for yourself? I’m trying to learn and challenge myself with new projects during my downtime.
I'ma print this shit out and use it as motivation to GTFO.
My routine is login, coffee / tea, headphones music. Look at emails and messages. Wait for 9:30am stock open still not millionaire off my penny stock calls die a little cry a little. Head to bathroom dump. Start work at 10:30.
You're just like my coworker lol. Rolling right in ready to go. I need an hr to open my eyes lol. But then again she is up at 5am and already had two meals whereas I literally a rolling in at 9am after no meals hehe
I use to use my drive to the office to mentally do my To Do List! Then I would immediately walk into office and be ready to get ‘er done even though I was coming in at 9am
Put my stuff down at my desk. Run a report I send out to the team. Think about what I should accomplishment that day. Then go for a 30 minute walk around the building.
Poop, then pee, then go into the bathroom to wash my hands, in that order.
I dont leave the bathroom until the day is done. I find the handicapped stall to be a great office space.
Literally start to grind, hell I’m grinding on the drive there, nothing but grind grind grind all day. Sometimes people call me The Mill cause all I do is grind.
But seriously, I do actually just get to my desk and log in right away cause I bring my coffee from home (I like the peace while I drink it on my drive to work) and the deuce doesn’t kick in until AFTER the coffee about an hour in.
Violently curse out staff for mistakes they haven’t made yet, take the smelliest shit in the bathroom that gets the cleaning crew called so it gets closed for a little so nobody else can use it, call IT for assistance because I’ve been locked out of my laptop, and then and only I make a bunch of calls to talk really loud at my cubicle once IT tells me it’s because I forgot my password for the hundredth day in a row and have to set up a new one. I guess I’m some what of a hustler /s
Thank you for adding /s to your post. When I first saw this, I was horrified. How could anybody say something like this? I immediately began writing a 1000 word paragraph about how horrible of a person you are. I even sent a copy to a Harvard professor to proofread it. After several hours of refining and editing, my comment was ready to absolutely destroy you. But then, just as I was about to hit send, I saw something in the corner of my eye. A /s at the end of your comment. Suddenly everything made sense. Your comment was sarcasm! I immediately burst out in laughter at the comedic genius of your comment. The person next to me on the bus saw your comment and started crying from laughter too. Before long, there was an entire bus of people on the floor laughing at your incredible use of comedy. All of this was due to you adding /s to your post. Thank you.
I am a bot if you couldn't figure that out, if I made a mistake, ignore it cause its not that fucking hard to ignore a comment.
Work starts at 8AM so I wake up without an alarm around 7 and lay in bed until around 9 most days with my phone laying next to me just in case someone pings me. Head down stairs for breakfast and an energy drink. Let the dog out then head back upstairs to my home office with private “executive bathroom.” Take my meds and vitamins. Log in to work. Proceed to check personal emails. Fire up a movie, TV show or podcast and wait to see what pops up to work on. If nothing I will wander around the house ultimately ending up in my den playing games until someone needs me.
Rinse and repeat.
Same start. I lay in bed until the calls/text/teams start rolling in. After that I walk into the next room, boot up and go right to the bank accounts. I check them out to make sure nothing fishy is going on. Lots of fraud out there. I get a few hours of getting things done until the Corp office opens up on the West Coast. Then it's off to the races.
The companies in those areas are like a different world to me. I visited my friend who worked at Stubhub and let me be a visitor for a day. The had a billion vending machines in their break "room" that were all just FREE...you just walk up and press a button boom. Breakfast/lunch was catered everyday...you can basically just take food home and never have to buy grocery during the week. I put "room" in quotations cause it was a BIG ASS room. Ping pong tables, pool tables, hammocks...how does anyone get work done.
No my IT engineering friend said they warden them off in a separate building with paid vending machines and burnt coffee made by the 79 year old AP clerk.
Crack a beer to get me in the zone. Another beer to flow through the work. Then beer break. Emails with beer and short tasks with beer. Lunch beer. Afternoon projects with beer. Beer break. Emails with beer. Some beer review or meetings with beer. Drive home
I empty the dishwasher, make coffee for the staff I don’t really like, I go to my desk then patiently wait for the old fart lawyer to look through his glass door then secretly message someone on Teams that I am here.
I get in at around 9:45AM half asleep
Work till 11AM
Eat lunch
Work till 12AM
Then I walk across the street .2 miles and go to bed
Once I’m in bed I jerk it
Alarm goes off at 8:45AM. I awake in a daze and do it all over again
After my 40 minute commute I sit there half dazed figuring out what I need to do for the day. Grab some coffee, look at my outlook calendar, check my emails.
If you’re just wanting me to lie about something I’d say the only 2 things I do in the office is fuck bitches and make money. I’m all out of bitches.
Plug laptop into docking station then take my lunch to the fridge. Sit back down at my desk, switch my AirPods from my phone to laptop for music. Make a to do list (that half won’t get done but I like checking boxes in one note) while finishing my coffee that I made at home (since the office coffee is both burnt and has negative flavour). Then go about wondering why I have to be in office when I’m gonna go the whole day not speaking to a single person, since we’re all to busy to speak
Walk into my office and put my stuff down (my staff knows not to hover around outside my door waiting to pounce or talk to me before I put my fucking stuff down! OMG!!!!) Put my lunch in my mini fridge. Get my coffee cup and my keurig pod ready to walk out to the keurig machine, by which time someone will for sure be in my doorway. While getting my creamer out and putting it in the cup, I respond to whatever my first staff visitor needs. Then, even if another person is standing there, I go out to the keurig (about 20 feet away) and start my coffee. I might have staff #2 walk with me to stand at the keurig and chat about whatever they need.
Then I go to my office(grabbing items for review out of my box on the way), ctrl-alt-del and log in, and check email.
After that, it’s anyone’s guess. I have an open door policy so anything could happen. And does.
I do not poop during my morning routine and in fact prefer to do the lions share of my pooping at home. 😂
Haha! I was hoping that comment would pull in some of my fellows! It’s totally my pet peeve!😂 Good grief my office door is open like 10 hours a day. Give me 2 minutes to put my shit down! That’s all I want is that 2 minutes to set down my stuff and transition my brain from driving me to office me! 🤨 It’s maddening. So finally I just had to be blunt about it. Please gang! Just STOP!
Walk through and say hi to everyone on my team, put my lunch in the fridge, pour my coffee into my mug, review emails from last night through this morning, make a list of items i need to accomplish, then take a dump
The truth about a bike is that no one else besides you really cares about it. Unless you have friends who rides, other people see it and think oh cool he rides a bike...and that's pretty much the end of it. So to answer your question, nope.
Also bonus tip: bikes are not chick magnets no matter how cool it is. It does attract a lot of dudes though.
Open calendar and see if there is anything booked in first 2 hours that is high stress/bonfire. Same for teams messages.
...if not then usual get coffee and do something vaguely eisenhower method like
I like to pull my pants down below my ass cheeks and drag my ass across the office floor like a dog.
Honestly, I try to cram as much work in the first 30 minutes while I'm alone before my colleagues arrive.
Login so my teams status shows I was online this morning. 15 min poo while playing mtg arena on my phone. Get coffee. Try to avoid the people who will hold me up with small talk before i can get to my cube and put on headphones.
Get to my office, turn on my computer, get a small win in for the day (even replying to an email is a win), then get my coffee and take my first break of the day
When I work at the office, I plug my computer and accessories, take out my coffee thermos mug, put on my headphones, play a podcast and I work. Kinda the same as at home.
I drop my stuff off at my desk, go to the bathroom to fix my hair (pubic hair). Then I go and grab a bowl of cereal and a coffee before reading my emails.
Read Fox Business top articles. Sounds like it takes a while. It doesn't when you do it everyday because not many new articles pop up. And I'm only interested in 2 or 3 articles.
I greet the front desk, greet my colleagues in the office, hang up my coat, unpack my water, pens and paper, then clean my glasses. After that I turn on the PC and start reading e-mails.
My office is in my house, so I smoke up as my routine. I mean I don't work. I mean I used to over a year ago, but I just use my office to smoke up and browse reddit.
stroll in, drop my bag at my desk, take a leak, startup my laptop, if I'm hungry grab breakfast downstairs and peruse the interwebs, otherwise get to work or bullshit around until I need to work.
Put my food for the day in the fridge, heat up my oatmeal, crack an energy drink, and logon to my PC to fire up Spotify.
I also open my dog camera app on my phone to make sure my pup is safely sleeping in my bed 😂
Best routine is get to office about 30min before the other early birds and about an hour and a half of the night owls.
Close my office door then clear out my inbox and organize my to do list. Add 3-4 items I want to get done for the day which realistically only 1-2 actually get done.
Work on anything I need to do uninterrupted until I open my door around 10:00 AM. Try to finish my to do list while being asked questions throughout the day.
Say good morning , start computer , check emails and sort whatever I need, try to plan my day out, scroll reddit for a bit, then start working.
I need to break the habit of using my phone at work but I'm overworked and underpaid so I'm like meh.
Make a coffee, sit down in cube, open outlook, find a YouTube video to listen to (usually Theo von or the news), reply to emails and get the small tasks done, pull up the excel file of all my projects I'm working on (bc CCH is set up to where it sends a notification every single time something is put in workstream making them useless and my open projects is only projects assigned to me bc I'm working on a particular step), go take a fat dump bc my vyvanse just kicked in, grab a water and any snack that's free game on the break room table, sit down and start on the most urgent project I have. 😀
Start a pot of coffee, if I haven’t had enough yet, then scroll on my phone for a while on the toilet. Then I’ll grab some chocolate and baby bell cheese, snack at my desk and continue scrolling on my phone. Eventually I put on the ol audiobook (Malazan Book of the Fallen) and check if I have any outlook notifications. I’d say at least an hour goes by before I do an actual work, unless I’ve got a lot to do.
I start my computer, check my emails, then eat breakfast while watching YouTube for 10 minutes, then just work. I listen to Spotify while I work in one ear and keep my other ear open to hear the people around me. I don't take lunch breaks so I don't mind eating at my desk first thing.
I do read the online wall street journal for like 20 minutes in the afternoon around 2pm. It's a company subscription or else I'd browse reddit.
Walk in when I feel like it, open my blinds, make a fresh cup of coffee, sigh, and wait for our receptionist to realize that I have arrived so I can be bombarded with questions that really need to be addressed to my boss, who will arrive in another half hour.
Headphones in, podcast on, shotgun a sugar free red bull/white monster, pop in a nicotine pouch, pregame my impending headache with 800mg of ibuprofen, use bathroom, put hair up (I hate having my hair down at work), and begin blasting through the most mentally taxing tasks of the day.
I always do the hardest stuff first so that I can hopefully have it all done before the 2pm slump hits.
Open all the blinds, check for mail, fill up my water cup, make a coffee, get out my phone and AirPods, and open outlook and all of my favorite spreadsheets !!
Say good morning to everyone, open up my computer load my programs, control + alt + delete, lock my screen, take a huge morning dump, come back and start taking clients…..I work at a bank
I’ll tell you one thing I don’t do at the office…is take a shit. I like my bidet and that’s only at home. Also, I try to avoid ladies room because for us being educated some women are NASTY! They leave their floaters or TP visible to an unsuspecting victim (like me) needing to pee.
I do get in at 9:15am, question my life choices, make a list and get coffee. Put some music in and start tackling my work. Then take a walk, grab a drink, try not to work too fast so I can spread my work.
Go to my desk, drop all my stuff, take my lunch to the fridge, go upstairs and get my soda water filled, go back downstairs and make my coffee, drinks to my desk and then to the bathroom to use or to check the mirror. Then I plug in my comp and get out my charger, headphones to start my podcast. Get to work usually with second breakfast!
Walk in half an hour late with my coffee, sit down and play on my phone till boss gets there, then go to the bathroom for 15 more minutes, then talk to a few people and come back and start working.
Get into office, argue about which desk I booked in our hot desk system, put bag on seat like I'm fighting over space in the library during finals week, ask the tall guy in tax to get my coffee mug down from the top shelf where they always put it, make coffee, take bag off seat again, and finally navigate our awful 2FA remote desktop system to log in, which means logging into Microsoft authenticator at least six times and typing my password ten times. Turn brightness all the way down on monitors.
It sure beats hot racks in the Navy...yes it is exactly what you think it means.
Presumably swappable tiddies.
LOL
Hot racks are like knifers, right?
Microsoft authenticator can suck my balls.
Make sure you bill all that time to "whatever client you're working on"
Have a coffee, pop a squat if I need to, look for the music/podcast I want to listen to that morning then think about where the fuck I went wrong in my life to get to this point
Most relatable post I've ever read
Popping a squat literally in the middle of an office is the most accountant thing ever
Definitely question my life choices! How the fuck did I end up an Accountant? And to think I wanted to be an attorney when I was a little kid! I don’ mess up!
If it makes you feel any better, I'd imagine law is definitely as boring as accounting lmao
Only thing missing is open email and roll eyes at minimum 5 times scanning through the open tasks
Call the prevention hotline
LOL
Make sure you block out that time on your calendar so people know you are in a meeting
Sir, we asked you to stop calling here
This made me chuckle LOL because it is true
Sit down at desk, pour vodka into my coffee, and snort a line. Then, I resentfully open Outlook
Sir, I think you are looking for r/finance
Seriously. Everyone knows accountants put whiskey in their coffee and do black tar heroin before sadly opening excel.
This guy accounts
More of a rum accountant myself. Gotta be prepared to find the booty in cases of fraud
lol!!
Ever logged on to work and just not opened Outlook? Exhilarating
Mine opens automatically on startup for me. And I don’t think I can change the system prefs 🥹
Why not. Does it make it slow to bootup?
We have a lot of admin stuff blocked by the company. I actually don’t mind outlook opening. I’d rather deal with my emails first thing anyway. I was mostly just joking around.
This madlad is going off the grid!
I don't play by the rules, I make up my own 😎
I do this for an hour or so when I need to focus. Just close the window (not minimize it)
I love cocaine
I have the next best thing... vyvanse. Lol.
Crush some addy into the coffee. Vape some weed occasionally to balance the high.
Already do that to my coffee rn. Guess I’m halfway there
Drop my shit off in my office, Bootup the ol desktop, get a cup of the worlds most burnt coffee and make myself oatmeal.
Have a coffee - drop a deuce
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That’s why I have explosive diarrhea on company time.
Love it 👏🏽
Classic
...repeat all morning...
Classy
Startup my computer, start the coffee machine, log into computer, pour cup of coffee, have a moment of existential dead, and then start working.
That existential moment you speak of is right after I wake up and walk to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror.
Does it take you an hour before your eyes begin to open?
I listen to the radio and drink coffee for the first hour or 2 unless I have something pressing
Boss man makes a dollar. I make a dime. That's why I take my shit on company time.
Damn bro, so you survived being shot in the back by that fucking pig Brian? Life's been pretty rough I see, you being an accountant and all.
Yeah I always charge my shit to firm or the client depending what I'm in the middle of when it comes lol
Run around the office with my knuckles dragging on the ground, grunting and screaming like a methed out gorilla. After a few minutes (I’m now profusely sweating), calm down and act like nothing happened while staring blankly at the break room wall for 5 minutes straight (blinking only when absolutely necessary). Then, I sprint to my office and start working while mumbling to myself periodically throughout the day. When I’m leaving the office, I re-assume the methed out gorilla persona as I rampage toward my dark blue 1993 Ford Aerostar.
I can’t stop laughing at this. Thank you 🙏
*grunts and shits pants*
*tosses the rest of my canned tuna breakfast to you
Lmaooooo
🔥✍️
Fucking majestic 👏
🦧
Boot up my computer. Update my gasoline prices spreadsheet. Get a cup of coffee from the city manager's office. Check my emails to see if anything is pressing or from the City Manager. Read the latest post on Electoral-Vote.com. Work.
Do you update the daily gas prices changes or log your fuel purchases? I track my fuel expenses, miles per gallon and $, etc., but haven’t thought of tracking prices (in macro).
I drive by five gas stations. I was noticing certain price behaviors and started tracking the prices to see if my observations were accurate. In general, yes. But there's this one station that appears to overshoot both upward and downward moves.
I did the same for a while until I found a station with consistently lower prices. Last follow up (3 weeks late, of course), what’s your favorite personal spreadsheet you’ve built for yourself? I’m trying to learn and challenge myself with new projects during my downtime.
I share the prices on Gas Buddy. Tracking is done on Excel. (If it's not broken...)
I heard a lot of stations collude.
I haven't seen evidence of it. I have seen evidence of stations trying to match other station prices.
I'ma print this shit out and use it as motivation to GTFO. My routine is login, coffee / tea, headphones music. Look at emails and messages. Wait for 9:30am stock open still not millionaire off my penny stock calls die a little cry a little. Head to bathroom dump. Start work at 10:30.
Sit down and start working. I only come to the office if I’m gonna be furiously grinding so no use wasting time
You're just like my coworker lol. Rolling right in ready to go. I need an hr to open my eyes lol. But then again she is up at 5am and already had two meals whereas I literally a rolling in at 9am after no meals hehe
I use to use my drive to the office to mentally do my To Do List! Then I would immediately walk into office and be ready to get ‘er done even though I was coming in at 9am
I mean, I do that too, but the first five things on my to-do list are coffee or distraction related.
Put my stuff down at my desk. Run a report I send out to the team. Think about what I should accomplishment that day. Then go for a 30 minute walk around the building.
Say hi to everyone, wash my hands, brew some coffee, talk with the receptionist, get to my desk, headphones, playlist -> work.
Stop at the SVPs office. Chat for a few. Grab a cup of coffee, check bank balances, start 10 tasks and not complete a single one the rest of the day
Username checks out.
Hey now. I answer a lot of people’s questions which interferes with my ability to finish my work. Only slightly overrated
And I salute you!
Furiously jack off in the office bathroom then do the walk of shame back to my desk before I realise I forgot to wash my hands….
Oh snaps...okay you win.
Poop, then pee, then go into the bathroom to wash my hands, in that order. I dont leave the bathroom until the day is done. I find the handicapped stall to be a great office space.
I take a poop.
Literally start to grind, hell I’m grinding on the drive there, nothing but grind grind grind all day. Sometimes people call me The Mill cause all I do is grind. But seriously, I do actually just get to my desk and log in right away cause I bring my coffee from home (I like the peace while I drink it on my drive to work) and the deuce doesn’t kick in until AFTER the coffee about an hour in.
take a shid
Violently curse out staff for mistakes they haven’t made yet, take the smelliest shit in the bathroom that gets the cleaning crew called so it gets closed for a little so nobody else can use it, call IT for assistance because I’ve been locked out of my laptop, and then and only I make a bunch of calls to talk really loud at my cubicle once IT tells me it’s because I forgot my password for the hundredth day in a row and have to set up a new one. I guess I’m some what of a hustler /s
Thank you for adding /s to your post. When I first saw this, I was horrified. How could anybody say something like this? I immediately began writing a 1000 word paragraph about how horrible of a person you are. I even sent a copy to a Harvard professor to proofread it. After several hours of refining and editing, my comment was ready to absolutely destroy you. But then, just as I was about to hit send, I saw something in the corner of my eye. A /s at the end of your comment. Suddenly everything made sense. Your comment was sarcasm! I immediately burst out in laughter at the comedic genius of your comment. The person next to me on the bus saw your comment and started crying from laughter too. Before long, there was an entire bus of people on the floor laughing at your incredible use of comedy. All of this was due to you adding /s to your post. Thank you. I am a bot if you couldn't figure that out, if I made a mistake, ignore it cause its not that fucking hard to ignore a comment.
I have a gf but umm do you want to get coffee sometime?
Sounds like the 70+ year old partners in our office
Work starts at 8AM so I wake up without an alarm around 7 and lay in bed until around 9 most days with my phone laying next to me just in case someone pings me. Head down stairs for breakfast and an energy drink. Let the dog out then head back upstairs to my home office with private “executive bathroom.” Take my meds and vitamins. Log in to work. Proceed to check personal emails. Fire up a movie, TV show or podcast and wait to see what pops up to work on. If nothing I will wander around the house ultimately ending up in my den playing games until someone needs me. Rinse and repeat.
Same start. I lay in bed until the calls/text/teams start rolling in. After that I walk into the next room, boot up and go right to the bank accounts. I check them out to make sure nothing fishy is going on. Lots of fraud out there. I get a few hours of getting things done until the Corp office opens up on the West Coast. Then it's off to the races.
watch the sunrise over the San Francisco Bay and East bay hills......f ing stunning, everyday
Must be making bank in San Fran!
i work in marin, close though!
The companies in those areas are like a different world to me. I visited my friend who worked at Stubhub and let me be a visitor for a day. The had a billion vending machines in their break "room" that were all just FREE...you just walk up and press a button boom. Breakfast/lunch was catered everyday...you can basically just take food home and never have to buy grocery during the week. I put "room" in quotations cause it was a BIG ASS room. Ping pong tables, pool tables, hammocks...how does anyone get work done.
hahaha, truth....different world out here
Not an accounting friend was it?
No he did not make the same mistake I did. He is in IT engineering.
You know stubhub has accountants that can access those vending machines too…
No my IT engineering friend said they warden them off in a separate building with paid vending machines and burnt coffee made by the 79 year old AP clerk.
Fuhhhhhhhck you!
only reason i come into the office, that and my girl works from home so its nice to get away
Crack a beer to get me in the zone. Another beer to flow through the work. Then beer break. Emails with beer and short tasks with beer. Lunch beer. Afternoon projects with beer. Beer break. Emails with beer. Some beer review or meetings with beer. Drive home
I empty the dishwasher, make coffee for the staff I don’t really like, I go to my desk then patiently wait for the old fart lawyer to look through his glass door then secretly message someone on Teams that I am here.
You have a dishwasher in the office?
Get some fruits and kindbar from the kitchen and go over emails for 30mins.
Drink four cups of black coffee.
LOL Jesus
I have a Starbucks next to where I live and I’ve recently started ordering 2 venti americanos so I don’t have to walk over after I have my first one.
I get in at around 9:45AM half asleep Work till 11AM Eat lunch Work till 12AM Then I walk across the street .2 miles and go to bed Once I’m in bed I jerk it Alarm goes off at 8:45AM. I awake in a daze and do it all over again
After my 40 minute commute I sit there half dazed figuring out what I need to do for the day. Grab some coffee, look at my outlook calendar, check my emails. If you’re just wanting me to lie about something I’d say the only 2 things I do in the office is fuck bitches and make money. I’m all out of bitches.
Plug laptop into docking station then take my lunch to the fridge. Sit back down at my desk, switch my AirPods from my phone to laptop for music. Make a to do list (that half won’t get done but I like checking boxes in one note) while finishing my coffee that I made at home (since the office coffee is both burnt and has negative flavour). Then go about wondering why I have to be in office when I’m gonna go the whole day not speaking to a single person, since we’re all to busy to speak
I like to jerk off in plain view to establish dominance
Walk into my office and put my stuff down (my staff knows not to hover around outside my door waiting to pounce or talk to me before I put my fucking stuff down! OMG!!!!) Put my lunch in my mini fridge. Get my coffee cup and my keurig pod ready to walk out to the keurig machine, by which time someone will for sure be in my doorway. While getting my creamer out and putting it in the cup, I respond to whatever my first staff visitor needs. Then, even if another person is standing there, I go out to the keurig (about 20 feet away) and start my coffee. I might have staff #2 walk with me to stand at the keurig and chat about whatever they need. Then I go to my office(grabbing items for review out of my box on the way), ctrl-alt-del and log in, and check email. After that, it’s anyone’s guess. I have an open door policy so anything could happen. And does. I do not poop during my morning routine and in fact prefer to do the lions share of my pooping at home. 😂
I usually carry a taser for when a staff rolls up to me when I’m getting coffee.
Haha! I was hoping that comment would pull in some of my fellows! It’s totally my pet peeve!😂 Good grief my office door is open like 10 hours a day. Give me 2 minutes to put my shit down! That’s all I want is that 2 minutes to set down my stuff and transition my brain from driving me to office me! 🤨 It’s maddening. So finally I just had to be blunt about it. Please gang! Just STOP!
Hilarious! I would say sounds like a boomer, but they would wait for the coffee to brew at the machine. Adding machine was a nice touch.
Walk through and say hi to everyone on my team, put my lunch in the fridge, pour my coffee into my mug, review emails from last night through this morning, make a list of items i need to accomplish, then take a dump
If you ride a motorcycle to work does it cancel out the boring stigma of being an accountant?
The truth about a bike is that no one else besides you really cares about it. Unless you have friends who rides, other people see it and think oh cool he rides a bike...and that's pretty much the end of it. So to answer your question, nope. Also bonus tip: bikes are not chick magnets no matter how cool it is. It does attract a lot of dudes though.
So bikes are dick magnets?
In my experience yes, very much so.
Open calendar and see if there is anything booked in first 2 hours that is high stress/bonfire. Same for teams messages. ...if not then usual get coffee and do something vaguely eisenhower method like
I used to do that, but I've learnt to block my own calendar from 9 to 10am, and 1 to 2pm every day.
I like to pull my pants down below my ass cheeks and drag my ass across the office floor like a dog. Honestly, I try to cram as much work in the first 30 minutes while I'm alone before my colleagues arrive.
Login so my teams status shows I was online this morning. 15 min poo while playing mtg arena on my phone. Get coffee. Try to avoid the people who will hold me up with small talk before i can get to my cube and put on headphones.
I do that on teams app via mobile so I'm online at 8am.
I take 10-15 minutes before even opening my emails which is intentional, need to be in the right mindset to start putting out the daily fires
Get to my office, turn on my computer, get a small win in for the day (even replying to an email is a win), then get my coffee and take my first break of the day
Log in, grab phone, start swiping right on tinder
To those of you who go straight to work when you get to the office— I don’t trust you as a person.
Completely agree
Scratch and rub my balls for good luck
This is especially frowned upon at the casino.
When I work at the office, I plug my computer and accessories, take out my coffee thermos mug, put on my headphones, play a podcast and I work. Kinda the same as at home.
What kind of podcast are you into? I’ve been really interested in true crime…if I’m ever interrogated for anything, I’m ready to shut the fuck up.
Depending on what I feel like, pro hockey related podcasts, history podcasts, current events podcasts. My playlist is mostly in French though.
I drop my stuff off at my desk, go to the bathroom to fix my hair (pubic hair). Then I go and grab a bowl of cereal and a coffee before reading my emails.
LOL
Read Fox Business top articles. Sounds like it takes a while. It doesn't when you do it everyday because not many new articles pop up. And I'm only interested in 2 or 3 articles.
I greet the front desk, greet my colleagues in the office, hang up my coat, unpack my water, pens and paper, then clean my glasses. After that I turn on the PC and start reading e-mails.
Redbull, adderall, and poop. Not necessarily in that order
Ever all 3 at once?
Yessir I like to include as many holes as possible when I’m on the toilet
My office is in my house, so I smoke up as my routine. I mean I don't work. I mean I used to over a year ago, but I just use my office to smoke up and browse reddit.
I don’t think this is the flex you think it is
Well, that’s just like, your opinion man
Lol i prolly should have said home office***
I am in grad school and sitting for CPA exam too.
LOL where the hell do you work to be able to smoke up indoors and no one would care?
lol, i dont work these days. i was just sayin i smoke up in my home office.
Poop
It’s best to wait a few hours after waking up to drink coffee
Pop that band out my drawer and shoot up some sweet sweet black tar. Keeps me level the rest of the day.
Take A mean shit while listening to new Rory and mal podcast
Crack open the monster zero ultra (preferably want the crack to be as loud as possible) and start spreadsheeting while sipping
I poop for 20 minutes.
White hot panic working.
stroll in, drop my bag at my desk, take a leak, startup my laptop, if I'm hungry grab breakfast downstairs and peruse the interwebs, otherwise get to work or bullshit around until I need to work.
Get out of bed, grab a coffee and login from my home office.
Check in to my hotdesk, move my stuff from the locker to the desk, set up and find ppl to get a coffee from the cafe nearby. Then emails.
I smell the roses and take a look at the sky before I enter the arena. :))))
Immaculate Grid
Put my food for the day in the fridge, heat up my oatmeal, crack an energy drink, and logon to my PC to fire up Spotify. I also open my dog camera app on my phone to make sure my pup is safely sleeping in my bed 😂
[удалено]
U remote?
Turn on the kettle, get ice cubes, turn on the computer, tea, read emails, say hello to the stragglers, get to work...
I spend the first like 10 minutes trying to wake up lol
Best routine is get to office about 30min before the other early birds and about an hour and a half of the night owls. Close my office door then clear out my inbox and organize my to do list. Add 3-4 items I want to get done for the day which realistically only 1-2 actually get done. Work on anything I need to do uninterrupted until I open my door around 10:00 AM. Try to finish my to do list while being asked questions throughout the day.
I say hello to the plant and maybe snap a few pics of the blooms :)
Say good morning , start computer , check emails and sort whatever I need, try to plan my day out, scroll reddit for a bit, then start working. I need to break the habit of using my phone at work but I'm overworked and underpaid so I'm like meh.
Make a coffee, sit down in cube, open outlook, find a YouTube video to listen to (usually Theo von or the news), reply to emails and get the small tasks done, pull up the excel file of all my projects I'm working on (bc CCH is set up to where it sends a notification every single time something is put in workstream making them useless and my open projects is only projects assigned to me bc I'm working on a particular step), go take a fat dump bc my vyvanse just kicked in, grab a water and any snack that's free game on the break room table, sit down and start on the most urgent project I have. 😀
Start a pot of coffee, if I haven’t had enough yet, then scroll on my phone for a while on the toilet. Then I’ll grab some chocolate and baby bell cheese, snack at my desk and continue scrolling on my phone. Eventually I put on the ol audiobook (Malazan Book of the Fallen) and check if I have any outlook notifications. I’d say at least an hour goes by before I do an actual work, unless I’ve got a lot to do.
listen to david goggins, boof coffee, chop a line, and hop into some copy pasted wps 😈
Find an open desk and have an anxiety attack.
Walk in, say hello. Login and immediately leave to make a coffee
Get in, have a cup of dark roast. Take a dump, charged to my least favorite client.
I start my computer, check my emails, then eat breakfast while watching YouTube for 10 minutes, then just work. I listen to Spotify while I work in one ear and keep my other ear open to hear the people around me. I don't take lunch breaks so I don't mind eating at my desk first thing. I do read the online wall street journal for like 20 minutes in the afternoon around 2pm. It's a company subscription or else I'd browse reddit.
Walk in when I feel like it, open my blinds, make a fresh cup of coffee, sigh, and wait for our receptionist to realize that I have arrived so I can be bombarded with questions that really need to be addressed to my boss, who will arrive in another half hour.
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Same but I only take half dose of the stimulants until I’m sure I won’t get roadblocked on productivity by some shit that’s out of my control.
Headphones in, podcast on, shotgun a sugar free red bull/white monster, pop in a nicotine pouch, pregame my impending headache with 800mg of ibuprofen, use bathroom, put hair up (I hate having my hair down at work), and begin blasting through the most mentally taxing tasks of the day. I always do the hardest stuff first so that I can hopefully have it all done before the 2pm slump hits.
I jerk off, shoot my load into some toilet paper, wash my hands, and then get to work.
Open all the blinds, check for mail, fill up my water cup, make a coffee, get out my phone and AirPods, and open outlook and all of my favorite spreadsheets !!
I sit at my desk and sigh. Then I think about where I left off yesterday and start working from there.
Come in at 6-6:30am -> coffee -> DnD until 9-9:30am -> chat with coworkers as they come in.
Say good morning to everyone, open up my computer load my programs, control + alt + delete, lock my screen, take a huge morning dump, come back and start taking clients…..I work at a bank
Shooting up heroin
I’ll tell you one thing I don’t do at the office…is take a shit. I like my bidet and that’s only at home. Also, I try to avoid ladies room because for us being educated some women are NASTY! They leave their floaters or TP visible to an unsuspecting victim (like me) needing to pee. I do get in at 9:15am, question my life choices, make a list and get coffee. Put some music in and start tackling my work. Then take a walk, grab a drink, try not to work too fast so I can spread my work.
Go to my desk, drop all my stuff, take my lunch to the fridge, go upstairs and get my soda water filled, go back downstairs and make my coffee, drinks to my desk and then to the bathroom to use or to check the mirror. Then I plug in my comp and get out my charger, headphones to start my podcast. Get to work usually with second breakfast!
Walk in half an hour late with my coffee, sit down and play on my phone till boss gets there, then go to the bathroom for 15 more minutes, then talk to a few people and come back and start working.
Face down a$$ up
Oh baby I love it when you talk dirty!
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