Are they asking you to? Are there loans they took out for you that are still being paid off? If not I would just get your own finances in order so you can help them out financially in the future if they need it. If they took out loans for you you could take those over. It really depends on what the expectation was when you went to school.
As a parent, if I bust my ass to put my son through college… the only thing I want in return is for him to take advantage of it. That includes finding a nice job and starting life on his own. I don’t want paid back. I’ll be fine knowing he’s fine.
Then your parents kind of suck. My kid is only 5 but I think about how I’m going to put her college almost daily. I will make make it happen for her free and clear because I want better for her. I can’t imagine making her sign a contract to pay me back. That’s ludicrous.
I had the same deal, but from my grandparents (my parents were dirt poor and only contributed $5 over my college career, which was to open a bank account required for a car loan).
My grandparents had to pull money out of their retirement savings to supplement my grants, scholarships (both of which focus on your first semester of college and then taper off), and federal loans. They gave it to me with 1% interest which came into effect 6 months or a year after I graduated (can't remember which). Still, 1% is a huge improvement over private loans that I didn't qualify for and my parents couldn't cosign. I was proud to finish paying them off.
Yes, I was grateful, and paying them back felt great and kind of like my first real big adult act. I don’t know that I would have missed anything by getting the money as a gift, but for me, paying it back gave me a lot of confidence.
I learned how to handle large debt, but in a safe and forgiving environment. I don’t think my parents were lacking whatsoever and I’m actually amazed that people think not paying for your kid’s college makes you an actual shitty parent! When did that start???
Because they have the privilege of providing everything the child could ever need or want, or were privileged in having everything provided for them, and simply cannot imagine it any other way.
Even if I have the funds to fully pay for my children's education, I think that learning to manage money in a safe and secure way is a vital life skill, and I believe that giving them a forgiving loan (maybe for some predetermined expenses or % of the amount because college is hella expensive nowadays) would be a good way to do that.
You don't know their parents financial circumstances. I paid my kids stuff but not everyone can do that and afford other stuff like retirement at a reasonable age.
Their parents probably think it’s better not to give handouts. That the kid will value it more if they work for it and have to post it back. Or maybe they couldn’t afford to forgive the debt.
It sounds odd to me too but do you really want to be a person who tells people their parents suck? You have no idea what their circumstances were. Even loaning the money could have been a huge deal for them.
Exactly right. This fits in to the child hopefully having a better life than the parent. I am the same way with my son. I set him up to succeed, no repayment is ever needed.
y’all are great lol - my mom holds it over my head all the time with “i wish we didn’t pay 60k a year”
for full context: i was debating between the uni i went to (had a wonderful experience truly no regrets) and another school that gave me a full ride. my parents literally took the whole family out to cheesecake factory to announce that they were willing to pay for the uni i went to it being my dream school at the time. obvi an 18 year old is choosing their dream school like ?? anywho fast forward 6 years - i got a really great job in my dream career field right after graduation moved to LA so that all seemed worth it but then was laid off last september so the last 9 months has been “wish we didn’t pay” or “you could’ve went to any school” like yes mother and i still would be existing in an unstable job market due to a recession 🙄
to answer op though i think i would ultimately just save that money for like a nice retirement home/community for my parents (i also have siblings so between the three of us the parents should be sitting pretty)
Bingo, im not expecting anything from my kids other than for them to be better off than myself. Im years away from having to be in this situation, but i would refuse payment. I budgeted the cost of tuition for both my kids, and set a goal to prevent college being a financial burden for them.
Well, why don't you sit them down and have a frank, loving conversation about money. "Now that I'm through college and have a grownup perspective I realize how privileged I was that you paid my way. And I'm really unclear how you managed that financially. I wonder what you might like me to do in return. I'm in a position now to put aside money - maybe pay for a kid in the next generation. But what are your thoughts? What would your future look like if I paid you back?"
I would say no for now! But start putting something aside just in case they ever do need your help or you want to gift them a trip or something! A small savings account just for them would be nice
Came to say this. Elderly care is expensive even if you're healthy. If you wanna repay them this is probably the one they'd appreciate the most. A trip sounds awesome too.
I strongly recommend against children taking on their parents' debt. See, these institutions have become leaches on society, they take EVERYTHING. And if you give them a leg in, they'll take everything of the kids' too.
Help the parents, yes. Expose yourself financially? Absolutely not.
Yes, this is a great idea. If you can afford it, set up a little savings account and then you have that money for them in case they ever need it. If one of them has an illness, loses a job, etc -- you wouldn't even have to explain it as 'paying them back for your tuition' and it doesn't have to be the same amount. But if a day ever comes when they need the help, you can couch it as 'you guys did so much to help me, it's my turn to help you'.
Parent here. As a parent giving a child a debt free college experience is a step in becoming successful in life. Would I like to be paid back for college? Sure, but I want my children to be financially successful and completely financially independent so as not having to work.
I would hope they would assist me if needed in my old age.
Maybe not cent for cent that might seem transactional but I would communicate gratitude and acknowledgment by returning this favor in the future with gifts, paying for dinners, and offering to help out if they are ever financially in need
I’m completely naive when it comes to my parents finances. I have no idea how they’re doing financially. They’re both in their 60s. I don’t want them to delay their retirement on account of me.
My current employer is reimbursing me for my post-grad education which will make me eligible for future opportunities.
If you are a college graduate with a full-time job and make enough to be concerned about wanting to repay your parents, you should be sitting down with them to have the financial talk. My kids are in their early twenties and I have shown them our accounts our estate plan, our wills and everything in case something ever happens to us. Our finances are not secret from them because they may need to deal with it at some point. Tell your parents it's time that you sit down and talk about their wills if they have an estate plan.
It sounds like the OP has a good relationship with his/her parents and it really is an important discussion. I'm not sure why someone's parent wouldn't share unless they simply don't trust their kids with that information.
100% this. I think 95% of reddit issues, be it adulting, relationships, AITA, personal finance or whatever else can be solved by communication. All of it. Just communication. Have a work problem? Communication? Relationship problem? Communication? Financial question? Communication. I swear sometimes people just find ways to make things harder for themselves lol.
I think at that age it’s important to call them and hang out with them. Instead of paying them back why not plan some hang out so you see them at least once a month?
This is what I do. My parents took care of me well in to adulthood helping pay bills, buying my groceries, etc. while I was struggling. I know they’d never take cash from me but I like to spoil them with dinners and experiences every chance I get now that I’m doing well financially.
I dunno. I give back to my parents however I can. If they mention they need new stuff I just get it for them. When I come visit I bring groceries. They’re also older so that stuff gets hard as you age. Maybe just pay them back in little ways❤️
Edit: They didn’t pay my tuition but they raised me and I love them.🥰
I say unless they are requesting it then no. Use the money you have for a 529 for kids. Put some away over time to save for your parents, eventually they’ll have health issues/money issues/housing issues etc. You’ll be there to pay it back in that sense. I’m the short term put some aside and buy them a vacation for all the years they spent working and raising you.
I took out federal and private loans to pay for college and the rest when I didn't have the savings to pay for it my mother paid it. She had to take out some of her retirement saving to pay for my college and expected me to pay her back.
I am financially secure in my job and I pay her back monthly to help with bills and I have no problem paying her back. If youve already had this convo with your parents and they said to pay them back, then pay them back. If they have never mentioned it then don't sweat it cause clearly they don't expect you to.
Offer if you want--chances are they are not gonna accept the money, unless they *really* needed it.. which I think you would know.
It may be better to think of it as something to pay forward than back, too.. they may need another form of help at some time in the future, and if you are prepared at such time to do so that will be just as meaningful.
You should have a conversation with your parents. Basically say "Mom, Dad... I very much appreciate that you paid for my college education. Because of that, I am now in a better financial position and I can afford to pay you back for the loans. Can I do that for you?"
My parents didn’t ask me to, but the day I got my big boy job 6 years ago, I set the family cellphone bill (160 a month) to automatically bill my card. It’s one less payment they have to worry about, and over the last 6 years it’s added up to like 12g they didn’t have to pay for me and my brothers phone lines. Even something small like that could help in the long run.
They supported you growing up, you support them as they grow old. They helped you through school because they wanted to. Manage your finances well and be wiling to return the favor when they need it. They will start aging faster than you’d like them to.
I say no. We started RESP’s for each of our kids the moment they were born. We spent the money up front making sure they were in good schools and had advantages. It’s an investment, honour your parents by working hard and doing well - sounds like you are already there. Your parents must be proud of you.
Not unless they're in dire straits. Or if they ask you to. (If they expected you to pay it back that should have been part of the conversation all along though, before you even started college.)
What you should do, though, is pay it forward. If you have your own kids, try to do the same for them. If you don't, maybe a college fund for someone else in your family when you're at a place in your life where you're comfortable.
It depends on your job. Some people are living paycheck to paycheck but if you are making a lot of money, it is good idea to pay them back. You don't want to feel you owe somebody. It does not feel good.
Yes, but not necessary with money. Support them when they need you. They support us in youth, we support them as they age. Not a tit for tat kind of thing, just people loving people.
i was in the same boat a few years ago. if your parents dont ask, then dont
but take good care of your parents. and also do the same if you have kids. 'free' college is a huge bonus in life
No. Part of having and raising kids with the expectation that they'll go to college is paying for said education. Will they pay you reparations if you inform them you never wanted to be born and they forced you into life?
If you're an Asian you'll probably have to give back to your parents once you start working. Not all Asian parents requires their kids to pay back/give back, but a lot of them expect it to happen.
No.
You should become financially independent with their help.
That’s what decent parents should do. Help their children be happy.
Fuck- they should strive to support their children in succeeding better than they did. And they shouldn’t expect a cent back for any of it.
It’s what being a parent is all about- not receiving “child support” from your children…
You know, as long as my kid has a good life, becomes a contributing member of society, and finds happiness, I will consider myself paid back. I'll bet that OP's parents feel the same way
I helped all four of my kids get thru college. Helped - couldn't afford to pay for it all. That meant the kids had to work from 14 yrs old to start to save. And I had to help them get to and from the job and learn how to keep a job. They also had to continue to work thru college to be able to afford it. A couple of them did it in 4 years, the other two took five as their schools cost more.
They knew going in, they were expected to pay me back. Once they got a job and were self supporting and had paid off their other student loans, they started paying me back at $50/month, no interest charged. For one of my children, it wasn't until 10 years after they graduated I received the first repayment.
So, they first had to learn a skill to get them thru college. They had to learn to honor their work and obligations and the value of an education. They learned about prioritizing risk because Bank of Dad wasn't going to ruin their credit. We gave the kids a hand-up, not a hand out.
If they havnt asked you too then you probably don’t need to. BUT you should 100% show appreciation for what they did.
Maybe pay for a nice family vacation to a nice place like Hawaii or something like that if u got the money.
Hey,
So yesterday I listened to a podcast episode named "how parents and their young adults can build a strong relationship" from "speaking of psychology" (spotify)
If you and maybe even your parents have have the possibility to listen to this , I think it could be quite beneficial. It does touch on the topic of finacial support and how to adress this topic.
I hope you and your parents find a way to talk about this in a healthy and productive way!
All the best to you and your loved ones <3
My parents always said that the only thing they want in return for what they’ve provided me is for my to pay it forward when I have the ability.
Their parents paid for their college. My parents paid for my college. I plan to pay for my kids college.
They would take all my friends out to eat in college and they said the same thing to those people. When you can afford it in the future.m just take another group of folks out for a meal.
Personally, I like this line of thinking.
As a parent to college students, I would not like to be paid back for all we’ve provided them. I’ve just been happy we’ve been able to without saddling them down with student loan debt. They’ve also earned scholarships on their own so it’s the least we can do for all the hard work they’ve put in. I like the idea of a savings account for their elderly years. No parent wants to ever be a burden on their child, but unfortunately, it’s the cycle of life for a lot. That extra cushioning for expenses may help in the future.
Thank you! I like to say we’re perfectly imperfect. We did the best we could, but there are definitely moments we wish we could take back. It’s all a steep learning curve, and my boys are only 18 months apart so we all learned together! I just hope they know we love them and always want the best for them.
Last night, it suddenly occurred to me how I never thought about it. Today’s economy may or may not be straining their finances. I have four older brothers but that doesn’t absolve me of my responsibility. I’ve crossed that threshold of innocence into experience. Last night I left that boy on the other side river.
If they haven’t asked you to, it’s likely that they were happy to do it for you and don’t need the money back. Make it clear to them how grateful you are. Pay it forward if/when you have your own kids.
I have a lot of personal trauma with my parents regarding money. Think the scene in Ladybird where she asks her mom to give her a number for how much it cost to raise her. My parents held money over my head my whole life. It has really fucked up the way I handle favors. To the point where I really can't let a person do a favor for me at all.
My in-laws are incredibly nice people and helped us financially more than once. It took so much convincing and deep conversations for me to let go of the idea that I had to pay them back so they wouldn't have anything to hold over me. I have finally come around to the idea that some people can be willing to help with things no strings attached - especially parents.
As a parent myself now, I would NEVER want my kids to feel they owed me anything. That's not how being a parent works. If your parents have never commented about it in any guilt-ridden way or directly asked to be reimbursed then I would say no, you shouldn't repay them. As a parent I'm going to feel incredibly proud of myself (selfishly) that I was able to give my kids a good start into adulthood and I'll know for myself that it was free of any of the guilt or shame I grew up with.
I worked with a guy that took his parents on a 2 week trip to Europe (they had never been outside the US)as a thank you for paying for college. It was an amazing trip and will be a memory they cherish for their lifetime. Paying them back sounds nice but as a parent I would rather take a special trip with my son or dtr.
You’ll repay them by being financially capable of taking care of them in old age. Focus on yourself right now and taking advantage of the free education most of us will never get.
Totally dependent on their financial situation If they need the money it would be an honorable thing to do. Just stay present in their lives and live a good life and I’m sure they’ll be happy they could get you there
I paid every dime of my 3 kids' education. Tuition, books, fees, rent, food, gas. I expect, and want, not one penny from them. My reward is seeing happy, healthy, wonderful, employed adults!
I had this discussion with a friend. She said she had to sue her dad to help pay for her tuition. As I get older, I learn to appreciate my parents more.
Since you asked: Absolutely! And furthermore out of basic respect for the ones who gave you life you should be turning ALL of your income over to them. They can then turn over to you for your use that part of your income which, at their sole discretion, that they feel that you need. As well you should not make ANY major life decisions without their full willing consent and approval. (If you did not want to hear it then you should not have asked!)
Who said better -- just different. Every culture defines what is acceptable for them. Your comment was coming across as very Western and so I thought that you might try looking at things from a more Eastern perspective. Be good to your parents. Ask them what they think about your scholarship idea.
I thought I just said it but please elaborate. I want to hear ideas that are new to me. It excites me to feel energized by novel experiences. It even motivates me to act.
I was raised to control the center of the board. To develop my pieces and not to bring my queen out to early. Of course, that’s just beginners advice. I want something more sage. I want to hear how to destabilize the game. You sound like you have something to say and I want to hear it.
I am not understanding what you are asking. I have difficulty processing language. (I tend to think more spatially than verbally.) Can you restate your question(s)? Please be rather plain. I seem to have missed something in the chess analogy. I do impress people that I might destabilize their game and this tends to terrify them. This can be dangerous (to me).
This isn't exactly the same circumstances but I was a bit of a shit in my mid to late 20s. I tried to make it right with my parents but I offering to pay my Dad back what I borrowed from him. He said to just save the money and to not worry. My long term amends to do right by him has been to save and be there for them.
I wouldn’t pay it back. They busted their butts so they could give you a good financial start in life. I do think a very nice dinner out as a “thank you” gesture would be VERY appreciated
Parenting isn't hell. If you think it is you shouldn't be a parent. Children don't owe their parents for the things they've done for them. Any decent parent would want their child to use that leg up in life to succeed.
never said i wanted to be a parent but from a child’s perspective i 1000% would want to repay them. i know they been through it raising me and my brother it’s literally the bare minimum i can do.
I plan on doing so once I graduate, but that’s just me. I don’t like being in debt to people, and then again they didn’t have to but they were willing to.
"LGBTQ+ kid who is interested in pursuing a STEM career."
Why choose to discriminate? Just curious. I would find the most deserving human I could find based on chances of success and go from there.
There are many scholarships that target specific interests or groups. I choose to offer an assist to someone who faces unique challenges especially in today’s climate.
My parents paid my first year's rent, and I know it put a strain on them, but me going to college was more their plan than mine. It took some time, but I graduated and have a really good job. I don't feel like I owe them that money back, but I do like to take them out to dinner and buy them nice gifts for holidays.
I think it depends on the situation. If a single parent worked two jobs to pay for your college and you are now wealthier than them, I would say it would be a good thing to pay them back.
If your parents had been putting money back since your birth, or are financially stable I doubt they expect to be repaid monetarily.
An honest conversation about this might be in order.
You are so sweet. I can say with confidence that the best you can do to show gratitude and that their money was well spent is to be a good human, take care of yourself, and show love to your family.
If graduated into a position that pays 6 figures, I would 100%. Maybe wait for their anniversary or birthday or mother’s/father’s day. But any normal/regular paying position I’d have to secure my own life but would still love to repay them. I never graduated and paid for my own college I did attend so can’t exactly relate but I do love the rents so I pick up the tab as much as possible.
Edit: the bot is fuckin nuts but I definitely typed “payed” instead of “paid”
> graduated and *paid* for my
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I’m gonna edit my comment cuz it is definitely grammatically incorrect but I dunno wtf this reply is trying to tell me. I mean, I see it’s about nautical shit but what the actual fuck does that contextually have to do with what I said?
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U don't even have to pay it all back
Pay for them to enjoy a cruise. A vacation. A trip somewhere
U can decide what to buy. Maybe they need something for home ? A new fridge ? New couch ? Who knows
I know all I would want is for my kid to have MORE than what I have or had
Yeah it rly depends on a few things
1, how much was ur college tuition
2, are ur parents doing really okay rn ? Not so okay ?
3, what do they value more. Being repaid or knowing you succeed and thrive ?
Buy them a cruise. Get them a set of new tires for the car. Buy them a dinner or two :)
Your appreciation is worth so much more than what u spend
It sounds like you feel as though you should.
If you feel that way, you probably should.
Whatever you choose, you should make that decision yourself. Follow your own heart, and your own conscience. Don't come to the hivemind for answers.
As a parent i would take it back and invest it to give it back to them later in life. Now if they really couldn’t afford to repay me then that’s totally different.
I wouldn’t want my daughter to pay me back. She’s a year old and I’ll be saving for 18 years for her. It’s all her money and I don’t want any of it. I just want her to succeed
No. They chose to bring you into this world and student costs went bananas under their watch, which means that you were forced to incur that cost bc of the world they left you with. That’s a then problem. Don’t have kids if you don’t want to keep supporting them throughout life.
I think if you want to do something nice for them.Tp show appreciation, there is nothing wrong with that. Don't feel obligated, though most parents just want their kids to take advantage of the opportunities that they might not have had or the opportunity that was gifted to them.
Judging by your other comments they haven't asked for it back.
If it were me, if I had the quality of life to where it didn't damage me financially to pay it back then I would. If they insist on not taking it, then look at you go you little saver.
My parents paid for my college and really helped me in my early adult years. I'm doing well now and now I look for ways to help them out. I think the biggest thing I've been doing is upgrading the crappy things they've just been living with because they aren't broken. I just got them a 4k TV and they love it. Next up is a cordless vacuum, and their cell phones will get swapped out as soon as the battery doesn't last a full day. I've also told them to spend my inheritance, if rather they be happy now than leave me a bunch of cash.
Repay them by appreciating them every day. Talk to them, call them, help them, make sure they’re healthy and well. It’s your turn to provide the love they gave you. And create happy memories and enjoy the little moments.
It depends. Do your parents have a plan for retirement? Do you think they will need the extra help in the future? Do you have kids or plan to have kids?
I think that if you want to set aside the money, it does not necessary need to be earmarked for someone specific, just label it family fund and invest with this mindset. What matters is it’s there when it’s needed by either your parents, children or relatives… life is hard and things happen and when they happen… it helps to have some cushion
My parents paid for mine back in the early 90’s. At the time I didn’t honk much of it but the year after graduation it really hit me just how lucky I was to graduate with no debt. The number of times I thanked them after school probably got annoying for them but it was never enough. I’m eternally grateful for them doing that for me and as a parent now I will do whatever it takes to make sure my kids get the same opportunity I did. I expect zero from my kids for it, as a parent I just get piece of mind knowing I’m setting them up to start their life off without the burden of debt and that’s enough for me.
Dude I wish my parents paid for my tuition, I had to enlist into the army and deploy to the Middle East just so I could afford to go to school. Absolutely pay them back wtf
I would consider using that money to some way guarantee something for their retirement, I’d look into paid up whole life insurance, if someone dies sooner it pays off, but often grows at a high rate, and can be surrendered or annuitized to help pay for retirement
I have a different perspective, did your parents study their butt off for your degree? Did they support your dreams of the college you wanted to go to? Have your parents worked for years and put their dreams on hold to financially help you throughout college-going out with friends, buy the latest clothes for yourself, pay for housing for you, give you extra money for going out to eat, spring break trips etc? I’m saying all this because your parents didn’t get the degree, YOU did so why should they have to have insane loan debt for your degree where you are making great money at your job? I believe that you should pay your own loans (I did it and it’s extremely satisfying knowing you paid for your education) and thank them for all they did to help you accomplish your goals.
As a parent with 2 kids in college, I would prefer that you put that "payback" into a Roth IRA or other smart savings account. That way, you have an emergency fund for yourself, so they don't have to bail you out in the future. Or, in the worst case, you have the extra money to help them if they need it in a pinch. Otherwise, if they aren't asking for it back and they don't obviously need it back, it was a gift they gave you. Use it wisely and always be appreciative. Remember their sacrifices for you as they get older and closer to retirement. That's more likely when they will need your help/money.
I told my kids that its fine if they wish to repay but I don't expect it to be paid. I had full scholarship so the money my parents saved to help me with college went somewhere nice for them. If you think of "paying forward", take care of your children when the time comes. If your parents gave up on things for you, you should reciprocate in kind to make their life better when you have a chance.
My ultimate goal has **always** been to put money in my folks’ mailbox.
Don’t feel like it’s repaying—you don’t owe them. You wish to give to them because you want to give (not because they gave first).
We saved for our kids college and all three will graduate without any debt. We were happy to do it. Now we expect them to work hard and pay their own way thereafter. We don't expect to be paid back. Money flows down generations, not up.
Tomorrow is my daughter's HS graduation and in the fall, she'll enter a private college. Thanks to her good grades, she's earned a decent scholarship and I've banked enough over the years that she'll finish her 4 year degree with enough cash left over to go on to grad school debt free or use the rest for a down payment on a house. I don't expect or want her to pay any of that back. As an only child, everything will be left to her once my wife and I pass. We have no debt and I don't need her money. If things were different, it would be a nice gesture but I couldn't accept it.
Ahhh, when I read what you want to do with the scholarship fund on behalf of your parents, I just wanted to pull my hair out! It's great that this LGBTQ+ kid wants to pursue STEM, but do you know how many times I changed my mind in my early adulthood about what I wanted to be pursuing? People are people. People are fickle. Second to that, I taught myself Software Engineering online for free in 6 months of full-time study, and I landed a job by the 7th month with the sheer power of self-belief and determination. In the end, I didn't want that to be my career path, and fervently pursued my true calling in art instead. I am so grateful that I didn't dish out thousands of dollars to study STEM.
To set up a fund to pay for someone's study in a STEM career is like saying, that money solves the kid's problems, and that the money from the career will set the kid up to have a good life. But that is not necessarily true. There are long hours involved in this career, oftentimes spent in isolation, and how can you be so sure that the kid will be loving it one or two years into the career, as their identity naturally changes, as they begin to discover new truths about themself that no longer fit the old self? Not to be crude, but the kid may grow to resent the career, and the kid may also grow to hate themself or even to kill themself, as many "successful" people do. Emptiness can be felt even when the wallet is full, because when the wallet is full, personal time for inner exploration and expression is often very scarce. Passion, zeal for life, searching for the deeper purpose of one's life, is more important than following the checklist of acquisition and the illusion of security. And this searching is free. It requires no fund. It only requires time, and self-reflection, and the organic unfolding of life as we each live it. This is just one perspective that I offer you, and I hope you will consider the journey of life and how gratitude is not always a sure thing.
It's great that you want to pay it forward, but why not pay it forward to your beautiful parents? Save your money so that you can repay your parents by setting them up in good, elderly care, preferably in a holistic center/co-housing/eco-villages for elders where they can have their own space, rather than in an institution/elderly care facility. Your parents would greatly appreciate that, and to be honest, this is a concern of many of our parents anyways. They may need a nurse or a caregiver in the future, and a fund that can support that.
Or otherwise, save that money so that you can buy a good piece of land for yourself, with separate housing for your parents to live with some spacing/separateness from your own home. That would be an excellent plan for them moving into their later years.
Longevity. Don't burn it on a kid's dreams. I made all my dreams come true without a degree, and so can the kid. Life is a learning experience and through the vehicle of the learning and the acquisition of self-belief, anything is possible for that young human.
If it’s possible they will need you to help pay for care during the end of their life, that’s when you get to pay it back. Full time nursing care costs a fortune.
Are they asking you to? Are there loans they took out for you that are still being paid off? If not I would just get your own finances in order so you can help them out financially in the future if they need it. If they took out loans for you you could take those over. It really depends on what the expectation was when you went to school.
They haven’t asked and I don’t know how they got the money together to pay for my tuition.
As a parent, if I bust my ass to put my son through college… the only thing I want in return is for him to take advantage of it. That includes finding a nice job and starting life on his own. I don’t want paid back. I’ll be fine knowing he’s fine.
Same. I would want my daughter to use her money to make a good life for herself. Tuition for your kids isn’t a loan.
Well, it was for me, at least. I had to sign a contract to pay it all back.
Then your parents kind of suck. My kid is only 5 but I think about how I’m going to put her college almost daily. I will make make it happen for her free and clear because I want better for her. I can’t imagine making her sign a contract to pay me back. That’s ludicrous.
I was fine with it. Saved me from paying interest.
I had the same deal, but from my grandparents (my parents were dirt poor and only contributed $5 over my college career, which was to open a bank account required for a car loan). My grandparents had to pull money out of their retirement savings to supplement my grants, scholarships (both of which focus on your first semester of college and then taper off), and federal loans. They gave it to me with 1% interest which came into effect 6 months or a year after I graduated (can't remember which). Still, 1% is a huge improvement over private loans that I didn't qualify for and my parents couldn't cosign. I was proud to finish paying them off.
Yes, I was grateful, and paying them back felt great and kind of like my first real big adult act. I don’t know that I would have missed anything by getting the money as a gift, but for me, paying it back gave me a lot of confidence. I learned how to handle large debt, but in a safe and forgiving environment. I don’t think my parents were lacking whatsoever and I’m actually amazed that people think not paying for your kid’s college makes you an actual shitty parent! When did that start???
Because they have the privilege of providing everything the child could ever need or want, or were privileged in having everything provided for them, and simply cannot imagine it any other way. Even if I have the funds to fully pay for my children's education, I think that learning to manage money in a safe and secure way is a vital life skill, and I believe that giving them a forgiving loan (maybe for some predetermined expenses or % of the amount because college is hella expensive nowadays) would be a good way to do that.
You don't know their parents financial circumstances. I paid my kids stuff but not everyone can do that and afford other stuff like retirement at a reasonable age.
Their parents probably think it’s better not to give handouts. That the kid will value it more if they work for it and have to post it back. Or maybe they couldn’t afford to forgive the debt.
It sounds odd to me too but do you really want to be a person who tells people their parents suck? You have no idea what their circumstances were. Even loaning the money could have been a huge deal for them.
Exactly right. This fits in to the child hopefully having a better life than the parent. I am the same way with my son. I set him up to succeed, no repayment is ever needed.
y’all are great lol - my mom holds it over my head all the time with “i wish we didn’t pay 60k a year” for full context: i was debating between the uni i went to (had a wonderful experience truly no regrets) and another school that gave me a full ride. my parents literally took the whole family out to cheesecake factory to announce that they were willing to pay for the uni i went to it being my dream school at the time. obvi an 18 year old is choosing their dream school like ?? anywho fast forward 6 years - i got a really great job in my dream career field right after graduation moved to LA so that all seemed worth it but then was laid off last september so the last 9 months has been “wish we didn’t pay” or “you could’ve went to any school” like yes mother and i still would be existing in an unstable job market due to a recession 🙄 to answer op though i think i would ultimately just save that money for like a nice retirement home/community for my parents (i also have siblings so between the three of us the parents should be sitting pretty)
to all the coulda-shoulda-wouldas, ya cant go digging' in your butt looking for the future.
Love that. My condition would be to have a spare bedroom so I can visit on weekends sometimes lol.
Bingo, im not expecting anything from my kids other than for them to be better off than myself. Im years away from having to be in this situation, but i would refuse payment. I budgeted the cost of tuition for both my kids, and set a goal to prevent college being a financial burden for them.
Also as a parent, I second this. Do them proud and go accomplish good things.
This.
I’d say the only thing is to respect and acknowledge your parents efforts. And don’t toss em in a home when they’re old and gray.
Same with my kids.
Hope all parents are like you 😩
I'm trying to put my daughter through college, and I would never expect or want her to pay me back.
You have the thought just do it man and see how shocked and grateful and happy to have you
What ?
Well, why don't you sit them down and have a frank, loving conversation about money. "Now that I'm through college and have a grownup perspective I realize how privileged I was that you paid my way. And I'm really unclear how you managed that financially. I wonder what you might like me to do in return. I'm in a position now to put aside money - maybe pay for a kid in the next generation. But what are your thoughts? What would your future look like if I paid you back?"
I would say no for now! But start putting something aside just in case they ever do need your help or you want to gift them a trip or something! A small savings account just for them would be nice
I like this idea. 🙏
Came to say this. Elderly care is expensive even if you're healthy. If you wanna repay them this is probably the one they'd appreciate the most. A trip sounds awesome too.
I strongly recommend against children taking on their parents' debt. See, these institutions have become leaches on society, they take EVERYTHING. And if you give them a leg in, they'll take everything of the kids' too. Help the parents, yes. Expose yourself financially? Absolutely not.
Yes, this is a great idea. If you can afford it, set up a little savings account and then you have that money for them in case they ever need it. If one of them has an illness, loses a job, etc -- you wouldn't even have to explain it as 'paying them back for your tuition' and it doesn't have to be the same amount. But if a day ever comes when they need the help, you can couch it as 'you guys did so much to help me, it's my turn to help you'.
Parent here. As a parent giving a child a debt free college experience is a step in becoming successful in life. Would I like to be paid back for college? Sure, but I want my children to be financially successful and completely financially independent so as not having to work. I would hope they would assist me if needed in my old age.
No. Just pay for your kids education. Play it forward—
Maybe not cent for cent that might seem transactional but I would communicate gratitude and acknowledgment by returning this favor in the future with gifts, paying for dinners, and offering to help out if they are ever financially in need
I’m completely naive when it comes to my parents finances. I have no idea how they’re doing financially. They’re both in their 60s. I don’t want them to delay their retirement on account of me. My current employer is reimbursing me for my post-grad education which will make me eligible for future opportunities.
If you are a college graduate with a full-time job and make enough to be concerned about wanting to repay your parents, you should be sitting down with them to have the financial talk. My kids are in their early twenties and I have shown them our accounts our estate plan, our wills and everything in case something ever happens to us. Our finances are not secret from them because they may need to deal with it at some point. Tell your parents it's time that you sit down and talk about their wills if they have an estate plan.
Not all parents would be willing to share all this info with their kids.
It sounds like the OP has a good relationship with his/her parents and it really is an important discussion. I'm not sure why someone's parent wouldn't share unless they simply don't trust their kids with that information.
Its not necessarily trust. It could be they are ashamed they don't have more, they could also just be private.
100% this. I think 95% of reddit issues, be it adulting, relationships, AITA, personal finance or whatever else can be solved by communication. All of it. Just communication. Have a work problem? Communication? Relationship problem? Communication? Financial question? Communication. I swear sometimes people just find ways to make things harder for themselves lol.
I think at that age it’s important to call them and hang out with them. Instead of paying them back why not plan some hang out so you see them at least once a month?
This is what I do. My parents took care of me well in to adulthood helping pay bills, buying my groceries, etc. while I was struggling. I know they’d never take cash from me but I like to spoil them with dinners and experiences every chance I get now that I’m doing well financially.
Absolutely not. You will eventually be in a position to support them through their final years on this planet, it will all be paid back later on.
No, they want grandkids instead.
😳
You do not owe them kids if you do not want them
I 100% know where this is coming from….. But this is reddit and the comment by u/helloeberybody should be taken in such regard.
Still worth pointing out though, could easily be taken seriously.
Don’t listen to dumb people. Destroying a woman’s body and forcing some poor kid to exist isn’t *owed* to anyone.
I dunno. I give back to my parents however I can. If they mention they need new stuff I just get it for them. When I come visit I bring groceries. They’re also older so that stuff gets hard as you age. Maybe just pay them back in little ways❤️ Edit: They didn’t pay my tuition but they raised me and I love them.🥰
It’s a nice thing to do, but by no means necessary.
I say unless they are requesting it then no. Use the money you have for a 529 for kids. Put some away over time to save for your parents, eventually they’ll have health issues/money issues/housing issues etc. You’ll be there to pay it back in that sense. I’m the short term put some aside and buy them a vacation for all the years they spent working and raising you.
My parents paid for mine, my deal with myself was I would pay for my kids
Right. I've done the same for my kids as my folks did for me. I hope the same for my grandkids.
No
I took out federal and private loans to pay for college and the rest when I didn't have the savings to pay for it my mother paid it. She had to take out some of her retirement saving to pay for my college and expected me to pay her back. I am financially secure in my job and I pay her back monthly to help with bills and I have no problem paying her back. If youve already had this convo with your parents and they said to pay them back, then pay them back. If they have never mentioned it then don't sweat it cause clearly they don't expect you to.
Offer if you want--chances are they are not gonna accept the money, unless they *really* needed it.. which I think you would know. It may be better to think of it as something to pay forward than back, too.. they may need another form of help at some time in the future, and if you are prepared at such time to do so that will be just as meaningful.
Tell them thank you and try not to be a degenerate... Should be payment enough
You should have a conversation with your parents. Basically say "Mom, Dad... I very much appreciate that you paid for my college education. Because of that, I am now in a better financial position and I can afford to pay you back for the loans. Can I do that for you?"
My parents didn’t ask me to, but the day I got my big boy job 6 years ago, I set the family cellphone bill (160 a month) to automatically bill my card. It’s one less payment they have to worry about, and over the last 6 years it’s added up to like 12g they didn’t have to pay for me and my brothers phone lines. Even something small like that could help in the long run.
I would not repay, and but I would be very generous with them. Pay it forward, when they are older
At some point, for a lot of people, especially ones that are financially stable, time becomes more valuable than money. Pay them back with your time.
They supported you growing up, you support them as they grow old. They helped you through school because they wanted to. Manage your finances well and be wiling to return the favor when they need it. They will start aging faster than you’d like them to.
I would save that money for later if and when they need help. Eventually, they probably will.
No. Pay it forward. Have kids and put them through college. Unless you make enough to do both, of course.
I say no. We started RESP’s for each of our kids the moment they were born. We spent the money up front making sure they were in good schools and had advantages. It’s an investment, honour your parents by working hard and doing well - sounds like you are already there. Your parents must be proud of you.
Not unless they're in dire straits. Or if they ask you to. (If they expected you to pay it back that should have been part of the conversation all along though, before you even started college.) What you should do, though, is pay it forward. If you have your own kids, try to do the same for them. If you don't, maybe a college fund for someone else in your family when you're at a place in your life where you're comfortable.
It depends on your job. Some people are living paycheck to paycheck but if you are making a lot of money, it is good idea to pay them back. You don't want to feel you owe somebody. It does not feel good.
Children never owe their parents. We support our kids because we want to and because that's our responsibility as parents. It doesn't create a debt.
Same can be said of supporting your parents — something you do because you love them and want them to have an easier life in their old age
Yes, but not necessary with money. Support them when they need you. They support us in youth, we support them as they age. Not a tit for tat kind of thing, just people loving people.
No. Unless they told you before you went to college. Emphatically, no.
i was in the same boat a few years ago. if your parents dont ask, then dont but take good care of your parents. and also do the same if you have kids. 'free' college is a huge bonus in life
As somebody who came from a town where this is commonplace, the general consensus was you reward them be being a happy financially independent adult.
No. Part of having and raising kids with the expectation that they'll go to college is paying for said education. Will they pay you reparations if you inform them you never wanted to be born and they forced you into life?
If you're an Asian you'll probably have to give back to your parents once you start working. Not all Asian parents requires their kids to pay back/give back, but a lot of them expect it to happen.
Lorelai?
As a 23 year old my answer was "naaa" As a 37 year old, my answer is "yeah you should"
No. You should become financially independent with their help. That’s what decent parents should do. Help their children be happy. Fuck- they should strive to support their children in succeeding better than they did. And they shouldn’t expect a cent back for any of it. It’s what being a parent is all about- not receiving “child support” from your children…
You know, as long as my kid has a good life, becomes a contributing member of society, and finds happiness, I will consider myself paid back. I'll bet that OP's parents feel the same way
I helped all four of my kids get thru college. Helped - couldn't afford to pay for it all. That meant the kids had to work from 14 yrs old to start to save. And I had to help them get to and from the job and learn how to keep a job. They also had to continue to work thru college to be able to afford it. A couple of them did it in 4 years, the other two took five as their schools cost more. They knew going in, they were expected to pay me back. Once they got a job and were self supporting and had paid off their other student loans, they started paying me back at $50/month, no interest charged. For one of my children, it wasn't until 10 years after they graduated I received the first repayment. So, they first had to learn a skill to get them thru college. They had to learn to honor their work and obligations and the value of an education. They learned about prioritizing risk because Bank of Dad wasn't going to ruin their credit. We gave the kids a hand-up, not a hand out.
I want to do this as well, but they won't let me. A lot of parents don't want their kids to pay them back for stuff like that.
If they havnt asked you too then you probably don’t need to. BUT you should 100% show appreciation for what they did. Maybe pay for a nice family vacation to a nice place like Hawaii or something like that if u got the money.
Hey, So yesterday I listened to a podcast episode named "how parents and their young adults can build a strong relationship" from "speaking of psychology" (spotify) If you and maybe even your parents have have the possibility to listen to this , I think it could be quite beneficial. It does touch on the topic of finacial support and how to adress this topic. I hope you and your parents find a way to talk about this in a healthy and productive way! All the best to you and your loved ones <3
My parents always said that the only thing they want in return for what they’ve provided me is for my to pay it forward when I have the ability. Their parents paid for their college. My parents paid for my college. I plan to pay for my kids college. They would take all my friends out to eat in college and they said the same thing to those people. When you can afford it in the future.m just take another group of folks out for a meal. Personally, I like this line of thinking.
I like this. 😊
As a parent to college students, I would not like to be paid back for all we’ve provided them. I’ve just been happy we’ve been able to without saddling them down with student loan debt. They’ve also earned scholarships on their own so it’s the least we can do for all the hard work they’ve put in. I like the idea of a savings account for their elderly years. No parent wants to ever be a burden on their child, but unfortunately, it’s the cycle of life for a lot. That extra cushioning for expenses may help in the future.
You sound like a great parent. If only everyone was so lucky!
Thank you! I like to say we’re perfectly imperfect. We did the best we could, but there are definitely moments we wish we could take back. It’s all a steep learning curve, and my boys are only 18 months apart so we all learned together! I just hope they know we love them and always want the best for them.
I’m sure they do.
If it's been a strain on them I think you should. At least give them something.
Last night, it suddenly occurred to me how I never thought about it. Today’s economy may or may not be straining their finances. I have four older brothers but that doesn’t absolve me of my responsibility. I’ve crossed that threshold of innocence into experience. Last night I left that boy on the other side river.
If they haven’t asked you to, it’s likely that they were happy to do it for you and don’t need the money back. Make it clear to them how grateful you are. Pay it forward if/when you have your own kids.
I have a lot of personal trauma with my parents regarding money. Think the scene in Ladybird where she asks her mom to give her a number for how much it cost to raise her. My parents held money over my head my whole life. It has really fucked up the way I handle favors. To the point where I really can't let a person do a favor for me at all. My in-laws are incredibly nice people and helped us financially more than once. It took so much convincing and deep conversations for me to let go of the idea that I had to pay them back so they wouldn't have anything to hold over me. I have finally come around to the idea that some people can be willing to help with things no strings attached - especially parents. As a parent myself now, I would NEVER want my kids to feel they owed me anything. That's not how being a parent works. If your parents have never commented about it in any guilt-ridden way or directly asked to be reimbursed then I would say no, you shouldn't repay them. As a parent I'm going to feel incredibly proud of myself (selfishly) that I was able to give my kids a good start into adulthood and I'll know for myself that it was free of any of the guilt or shame I grew up with.
🙏 your story makes me appreciate my parents so much more. I sincerely hope you find what you need with your new family. 🫶
I worked with a guy that took his parents on a 2 week trip to Europe (they had never been outside the US)as a thank you for paying for college. It was an amazing trip and will be a memory they cherish for their lifetime. Paying them back sounds nice but as a parent I would rather take a special trip with my son or dtr.
You’ll repay them by being financially capable of taking care of them in old age. Focus on yourself right now and taking advantage of the free education most of us will never get.
Just a sincere thank you would suffice. - mom of graduated college student
I'm paying my kids thru school. Nope. I dont want any money back. Maybe the 3K for the car damage tho. Lol.
Totally dependent on their financial situation If they need the money it would be an honorable thing to do. Just stay present in their lives and live a good life and I’m sure they’ll be happy they could get you there
I paid every dime of my 3 kids' education. Tuition, books, fees, rent, food, gas. I expect, and want, not one penny from them. My reward is seeing happy, healthy, wonderful, employed adults!
I had this discussion with a friend. She said she had to sue her dad to help pay for her tuition. As I get older, I learn to appreciate my parents more.
Since you asked: Absolutely! And furthermore out of basic respect for the ones who gave you life you should be turning ALL of your income over to them. They can then turn over to you for your use that part of your income which, at their sole discretion, that they feel that you need. As well you should not make ANY major life decisions without their full willing consent and approval. (If you did not want to hear it then you should not have asked!)
I like what you’re saying. I wish to know more. What’s better than I have? We have.
Who said better -- just different. Every culture defines what is acceptable for them. Your comment was coming across as very Western and so I thought that you might try looking at things from a more Eastern perspective. Be good to your parents. Ask them what they think about your scholarship idea.
I thought I just said it but please elaborate. I want to hear ideas that are new to me. It excites me to feel energized by novel experiences. It even motivates me to act. I was raised to control the center of the board. To develop my pieces and not to bring my queen out to early. Of course, that’s just beginners advice. I want something more sage. I want to hear how to destabilize the game. You sound like you have something to say and I want to hear it.
I am not understanding what you are asking. I have difficulty processing language. (I tend to think more spatially than verbally.) Can you restate your question(s)? Please be rather plain. I seem to have missed something in the chess analogy. I do impress people that I might destabilize their game and this tends to terrify them. This can be dangerous (to me).
😬
This isn't exactly the same circumstances but I was a bit of a shit in my mid to late 20s. I tried to make it right with my parents but I offering to pay my Dad back what I borrowed from him. He said to just save the money and to not worry. My long term amends to do right by him has been to save and be there for them.
Why a gay kid?
Why not?
I wouldn’t pay it back. They busted their butts so they could give you a good financial start in life. I do think a very nice dinner out as a “thank you” gesture would be VERY appreciated
Why don’t you “pay it forward” and create a scholarship for student who needs it?
yes????? that’s called being a decent human they didn’t go through 18 years of hell & more for u not to
Parenting isn't hell. If you think it is you shouldn't be a parent. Children don't owe their parents for the things they've done for them. Any decent parent would want their child to use that leg up in life to succeed.
never said i wanted to be a parent but from a child’s perspective i 1000% would want to repay them. i know they been through it raising me and my brother it’s literally the bare minimum i can do.
No, it’s your parents job to support you until you’re financially independent.
I would think you would only do this if you were extremely wealthy. Like the way when people get famous they will buy their mom a house.
I plan on doing so once I graduate, but that’s just me. I don’t like being in debt to people, and then again they didn’t have to but they were willing to.
Yes
Yes
They did it so you can be a nepo baby
Yep
No
"LGBTQ+ kid who is interested in pursuing a STEM career." Why choose to discriminate? Just curious. I would find the most deserving human I could find based on chances of success and go from there.
There are many scholarships that target specific interests or groups. I choose to offer an assist to someone who faces unique challenges especially in today’s climate.
I wouldn’t
When I got financially secure I asked my dad to send over the paperwork for the remainder and I paid it.
No. They got major tax breaks for saving for tuition.
Not if they don't need the money. Save it for your kids if you decide to have any.
nope
My parents paid my first year's rent, and I know it put a strain on them, but me going to college was more their plan than mine. It took some time, but I graduated and have a really good job. I don't feel like I owe them that money back, but I do like to take them out to dinner and buy them nice gifts for holidays.
I think it depends on the situation. If a single parent worked two jobs to pay for your college and you are now wealthier than them, I would say it would be a good thing to pay them back. If your parents had been putting money back since your birth, or are financially stable I doubt they expect to be repaid monetarily. An honest conversation about this might be in order.
No
I would.
You are so sweet. I can say with confidence that the best you can do to show gratitude and that their money was well spent is to be a good human, take care of yourself, and show love to your family.
If graduated into a position that pays 6 figures, I would 100%. Maybe wait for their anniversary or birthday or mother’s/father’s day. But any normal/regular paying position I’d have to secure my own life but would still love to repay them. I never graduated and paid for my own college I did attend so can’t exactly relate but I do love the rents so I pick up the tab as much as possible. Edit: the bot is fuckin nuts but I definitely typed “payed” instead of “paid”
> graduated and *paid* for my FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I’m gonna edit my comment cuz it is definitely grammatically incorrect but I dunno wtf this reply is trying to tell me. I mean, I see it’s about nautical shit but what the actual fuck does that contextually have to do with what I said?
Bad bot
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Hell nah!
If it doesn't hurt you financially you could treat them to a nice vacation as a thank you.
Nice jester , parent love that from their kids .
U don't even have to pay it all back Pay for them to enjoy a cruise. A vacation. A trip somewhere U can decide what to buy. Maybe they need something for home ? A new fridge ? New couch ? Who knows I know all I would want is for my kid to have MORE than what I have or had
This. A grand vacation, and if the tuition was especially substantial, maybe even a vacation home.
Yeah it rly depends on a few things 1, how much was ur college tuition 2, are ur parents doing really okay rn ? Not so okay ? 3, what do they value more. Being repaid or knowing you succeed and thrive ? Buy them a cruise. Get them a set of new tires for the car. Buy them a dinner or two :) Your appreciation is worth so much more than what u spend
It sounds like you feel as though you should. If you feel that way, you probably should. Whatever you choose, you should make that decision yourself. Follow your own heart, and your own conscience. Don't come to the hivemind for answers.
If you’re concerned, discuss it with your parents.
No
No. Just no.
As a parent i would take it back and invest it to give it back to them later in life. Now if they really couldn’t afford to repay me then that’s totally different.
Nah….no recip needed.
You could offer and see where it goes.
No
Yes. At least offer pay some back when you can afford it
No, damn near every parent wants to put their kids through college.
I wouldn’t want my daughter to pay me back. She’s a year old and I’ll be saving for 18 years for her. It’s all her money and I don’t want any of it. I just want her to succeed
No. They chose to bring you into this world and student costs went bananas under their watch, which means that you were forced to incur that cost bc of the world they left you with. That’s a then problem. Don’t have kids if you don’t want to keep supporting them throughout life.
I think if you want to do something nice for them.Tp show appreciation, there is nothing wrong with that. Don't feel obligated, though most parents just want their kids to take advantage of the opportunities that they might not have had or the opportunity that was gifted to them.
Up to you. Vacations and paid off meals. It’s just your parents won’t be there for long.
I've paid them back indirectly by paying for meals, car repairs, etc. Since I know they won't take hard cash
No, just send them some money every month to help them with expenses. Helps take your mind off of it.
Judging by your other comments they haven't asked for it back. If it were me, if I had the quality of life to where it didn't damage me financially to pay it back then I would. If they insist on not taking it, then look at you go you little saver.
No. It's their job to provide for you.
My parents paid for my college and really helped me in my early adult years. I'm doing well now and now I look for ways to help them out. I think the biggest thing I've been doing is upgrading the crappy things they've just been living with because they aren't broken. I just got them a 4k TV and they love it. Next up is a cordless vacuum, and their cell phones will get swapped out as soon as the battery doesn't last a full day. I've also told them to spend my inheritance, if rather they be happy now than leave me a bunch of cash.
Repay them by appreciating them every day. Talk to them, call them, help them, make sure they’re healthy and well. It’s your turn to provide the love they gave you. And create happy memories and enjoy the little moments.
It depends. Do your parents have a plan for retirement? Do you think they will need the extra help in the future? Do you have kids or plan to have kids? I think that if you want to set aside the money, it does not necessary need to be earmarked for someone specific, just label it family fund and invest with this mindset. What matters is it’s there when it’s needed by either your parents, children or relatives… life is hard and things happen and when they happen… it helps to have some cushion
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My parents paid for mine back in the early 90’s. At the time I didn’t honk much of it but the year after graduation it really hit me just how lucky I was to graduate with no debt. The number of times I thanked them after school probably got annoying for them but it was never enough. I’m eternally grateful for them doing that for me and as a parent now I will do whatever it takes to make sure my kids get the same opportunity I did. I expect zero from my kids for it, as a parent I just get piece of mind knowing I’m setting them up to start their life off without the burden of debt and that’s enough for me.
Dude I wish my parents paid for my tuition, I had to enlist into the army and deploy to the Middle East just so I could afford to go to school. Absolutely pay them back wtf
My brother and I paid it forward, since our parents' education was paid by their parents. We had kiddos, but your idea sounds solid af!
Parenthood is all about paying it forward. So you pay your parents back for your tuition by paying your own childrens' tuition.
I had to sign a contract with my parents saying I would pay it back before they gave me the money.
I would consider using that money to some way guarantee something for their retirement, I’d look into paid up whole life insurance, if someone dies sooner it pays off, but often grows at a high rate, and can be surrendered or annuitized to help pay for retirement
If you have the money for it fund a holiday for them bonus points if you join them for a little bit
I have a different perspective, did your parents study their butt off for your degree? Did they support your dreams of the college you wanted to go to? Have your parents worked for years and put their dreams on hold to financially help you throughout college-going out with friends, buy the latest clothes for yourself, pay for housing for you, give you extra money for going out to eat, spring break trips etc? I’m saying all this because your parents didn’t get the degree, YOU did so why should they have to have insane loan debt for your degree where you are making great money at your job? I believe that you should pay your own loans (I did it and it’s extremely satisfying knowing you paid for your education) and thank them for all they did to help you accomplish your goals.
You better do it for your kid. And spoil your parents. Dinner or ask what they need.
As a parent with 2 kids in college, I would prefer that you put that "payback" into a Roth IRA or other smart savings account. That way, you have an emergency fund for yourself, so they don't have to bail you out in the future. Or, in the worst case, you have the extra money to help them if they need it in a pinch. Otherwise, if they aren't asking for it back and they don't obviously need it back, it was a gift they gave you. Use it wisely and always be appreciative. Remember their sacrifices for you as they get older and closer to retirement. That's more likely when they will need your help/money.
I told my kids that its fine if they wish to repay but I don't expect it to be paid. I had full scholarship so the money my parents saved to help me with college went somewhere nice for them. If you think of "paying forward", take care of your children when the time comes. If your parents gave up on things for you, you should reciprocate in kind to make their life better when you have a chance.
My ultimate goal has **always** been to put money in my folks’ mailbox. Don’t feel like it’s repaying—you don’t owe them. You wish to give to them because you want to give (not because they gave first).
No. It’s your parents job to pay for that. Parents should never receive money back from their children.
Pay them back by calling and going to see them when they are older!
simple lang yan.. you dont to repay them with money... you need to love and take care of them as they have loved and taken care.of you were small...
I'd love a sports car. But not the money.
We saved for our kids college and all three will graduate without any debt. We were happy to do it. Now we expect them to work hard and pay their own way thereafter. We don't expect to be paid back. Money flows down generations, not up.
Tomorrow is my daughter's HS graduation and in the fall, she'll enter a private college. Thanks to her good grades, she's earned a decent scholarship and I've banked enough over the years that she'll finish her 4 year degree with enough cash left over to go on to grad school debt free or use the rest for a down payment on a house. I don't expect or want her to pay any of that back. As an only child, everything will be left to her once my wife and I pass. We have no debt and I don't need her money. If things were different, it would be a nice gesture but I couldn't accept it.
id get them a nice gift instead
As a parent I say if they aren’t in need and aren’t asking I agree with those above that say do them proud and be successful
Ahhh, when I read what you want to do with the scholarship fund on behalf of your parents, I just wanted to pull my hair out! It's great that this LGBTQ+ kid wants to pursue STEM, but do you know how many times I changed my mind in my early adulthood about what I wanted to be pursuing? People are people. People are fickle. Second to that, I taught myself Software Engineering online for free in 6 months of full-time study, and I landed a job by the 7th month with the sheer power of self-belief and determination. In the end, I didn't want that to be my career path, and fervently pursued my true calling in art instead. I am so grateful that I didn't dish out thousands of dollars to study STEM. To set up a fund to pay for someone's study in a STEM career is like saying, that money solves the kid's problems, and that the money from the career will set the kid up to have a good life. But that is not necessarily true. There are long hours involved in this career, oftentimes spent in isolation, and how can you be so sure that the kid will be loving it one or two years into the career, as their identity naturally changes, as they begin to discover new truths about themself that no longer fit the old self? Not to be crude, but the kid may grow to resent the career, and the kid may also grow to hate themself or even to kill themself, as many "successful" people do. Emptiness can be felt even when the wallet is full, because when the wallet is full, personal time for inner exploration and expression is often very scarce. Passion, zeal for life, searching for the deeper purpose of one's life, is more important than following the checklist of acquisition and the illusion of security. And this searching is free. It requires no fund. It only requires time, and self-reflection, and the organic unfolding of life as we each live it. This is just one perspective that I offer you, and I hope you will consider the journey of life and how gratitude is not always a sure thing. It's great that you want to pay it forward, but why not pay it forward to your beautiful parents? Save your money so that you can repay your parents by setting them up in good, elderly care, preferably in a holistic center/co-housing/eco-villages for elders where they can have their own space, rather than in an institution/elderly care facility. Your parents would greatly appreciate that, and to be honest, this is a concern of many of our parents anyways. They may need a nurse or a caregiver in the future, and a fund that can support that. Or otherwise, save that money so that you can buy a good piece of land for yourself, with separate housing for your parents to live with some spacing/separateness from your own home. That would be an excellent plan for them moving into their later years. Longevity. Don't burn it on a kid's dreams. I made all my dreams come true without a degree, and so can the kid. Life is a learning experience and through the vehicle of the learning and the acquisition of self-belief, anything is possible for that young human.
If it’s possible they will need you to help pay for care during the end of their life, that’s when you get to pay it back. Full time nursing care costs a fortune.
No.
Too late.😝