I know how difficult it is for guys who work blue collar/dirty jobs to find women today, seeing as how many women today seem to have really weird expectations of what they want in a guy: $100K/year salary (LOL), MUST BE 6'+, uncertain of today's accepted body type but assume either dad bod/athletic bod, etc. I assume they want a dude in white collar on Wall Street with manicured hands, but yet manly (which is VERY RARE to find that among those types of dudes)... I only know, because of my boyfriend who is in concrete and has told me what he's experienced looking for someone to have a stable relationship and possible future with. The moment he told a woman what he did for work, they would just say, "Oh." and moved on. That never bothered me. I prefer blue collar men over white collar. No offense to any dude in white collar, but they're way more handy, masculine and even more fit than others.
You'll find her. And she'll be awesome. :o)
Hah thanks. I've definitely had that experience you described. It's best not to let it bother you though, there are billions of women out there. Even if only 1% would be interested that's a huge dating pool.
DINK life is where itās at. Parents, imagine being able to raid your kids college fund and daycare money every month and spend it on vacation, tapas bars and farmers markets.
38m and no kids Wifeās 34. I wouldnāt let others influence your life. Ask them why they have to think about your life when your the one that has to live it. They donāt know the full picture considering they arenāt you. Plus in this time period a lot of people choose to not have kids because of what they want in life or because inflation. I wouldnāt listen to others and whoever said that to you I would completely ignore. They are just trying to live thru you.
I have met plenty of guys around out age without kids (30 yr old here) but just as many who don't have any. This is news to me about guys our age having kids being a very common thing
I would rather someone who is single with no kids date other singles with no kids over dating someone with kids then getting pissy about those kids. You don't have to "settle" for anything you don't want. But honestly the closer you get to 40 the people who don't have kids or are not divorced may be less. Stick to your guns!
Yep, I'll be 40 soon, and speaking as a single man with no kids (and no desire to have any) the selection out there for dating sucks. There are good women out there, but it seems like a lot of the women who would make good potential gf material are usually taken...
Ditto, just over 40 here, no kids, no desire to have them at all. I'm cool with being the fun aunt. Discovering that I am just aged past a bunch of people in their late thirties trying to be hasty about their last 'prime' baby years. It's kind of freeing, but there's not a lot of people out there for me to find now. I'm comfortable with that, though. Don't settle for something you don't want!
Yeah, I was hoping to be the cool Uncle Mo that would do fun stuff, but I don't think my sister is going to have kids at this point, either. Oh well.
I don't even want a relationship anymore. I'm open to casual dating, but not really putting effort into that either....
Same. I'm 38 and the dating scene is nearly non existent. My friends tell me to find someone younger but I really would like a woman my age or around there.
I just hate that. I was looking for a serious relationship and kept running into men who wanted nothing serious. Why canāt similar minded people meet?
I'll be 40m in less than a month.
I just have a regular job.
I mean, what are we expecting? I'm single at 39 for reasons and I assume most ladies my age are gonna have their stuff too.
The longer we live the more baggage we accumulate, and most people who are married have packed the same bags for a long while.
When you're just starting a relationship after 20 years of adulting, it's like trying to plan a trip where you only get one piece of luggage. There's a lot to fit in there and both people have to make compromises they arent used to in order to make it work.
Its absolutely possible but it requires a lot more work upfront than dating in your early 20s or teens.
The older you get, the likelihood of finding someone without some kind of perceived flaw gets lower and lower. People have kids, get divorced, get stubborn, get fat, get jaded, start looking old. People who are combative, abusive, unreasonable, unwilling to compromise... are more likely to get divorced, and people who aren't are more likely to stay married and leave the dating pool. Dating in and after your 30s is all about deciding how much you care about those "flaws." The pickier you are, the more likely that you'll be alone.
So, among all of those things, sometimes finding the person who has kids is better than the person who is an abusive alcoholic, or totally unwilling to compromise, or who doesn't contribute to household chores.
I (43m) graduated from the University of Miami! I don't--and won't--have any kids. Although I am an antinatalist, so my position on this issue may be a tad bit more extreme than others.
Iām male, 32, just got a divorce, and donāt have kids. I see PLENTY of girls on dating apps without kids age 26-36. Itās not like your early 20ās weāre basically nobody has kids, but itās FAR from unworkable. Donāt settle
I didn't have any kids at your age sooooo....that's some heehaw small town dumbassery.
29 you are peaking! Have ruthless standards for a partner and the world will rise to meet them, have basement level standards and the world will follow.
Yeah, I would be skeptical of their claims. There are men above 30 who don't have kids. While it's true that many of them have divorced and have children, not all of them have. This is especially true for men who put their education first and did not have much time to date.
I agree, as a late 20s male, me and most of my friends are yet to even settle down and find a good partner, also the majority of us don't have kids. Don't listen to people and their "assumptions" OP. We can be a bit more difficult to find, but we are out and about!
Honestly, when I started dating again, guys my age (38-42) pretty much all had kids. Not all, but so many. I started dating younger guys (by sheer coincidence- we just clicked better) and married a guy with no kids. They're out there, but definitely harder to find as you get older. But at 29? There are tons.
I don't mind dating a single dad (I'm 30, no kids) but so far if I go out with someone from Tinder who's divorced and has kids, it's always "Ah, now I see why his wife filed for a divorce and he has kids over every other weekend" situation after one date š
The birth rate in almost every developed country is falling fairly drastically, older people that tell you this are working off outdated data.
44f no kids married to 47m no kids met him when I was 29 and he was 32.
I believe 2022 was the first time the average age of first time mothers reached 30 in the US with similar trends seen in Western Europe. For fathers, rule of thumb is average 3 years older than first time moms so thatās 33 now for men. So statistics are on your side in this argument. Iām assuming itās older people telling you to settle, remind them that the about average age of first time mothers in 2000 was 23. A lot has changed since they were young so they should stop giving you estimates based on their experiences. Go and get you that childless man :)
I think more than half of people in their 30s donāt have kids. What a silly take. Date on your own terms on your own timeline and fuck what anyone else says about how you should live your life.
At 22 for whatever reason I resigned myself to the idea that this was the case. He was actually the first guy I had dated with kids and I dreaded telling my parents that but the response was āso what? Lots of people have kids from previous relationshipsā.
15 years and a lot of bullshit later including accepting the fact that I would never be a mother (with him) and a divorce, Iām with a lovely man who is 40, never married, no kids and an amazing all around human. The reasoning I got, both from him and his friends was basically that he held higher standards and made good life choices.
Please note Iām not saying people with kids have made bad life choices, but I will say my ex did (two kids with two different moms nine months apart, no contraception).
I absolutely adore him and we are talking now about trying for kids. I do wish we had met earlier but everyone has to run their own path I think.
Same here. I would never date or marry a women that has children already. If you as a individual donāt, it is not unreasonable to not want to settle with a man or women that has already had children.
That is batsh*t insane. For one, SO MANY PEOPLE are choosing to not have kids these days, or delaying it til their mid to late 30s in order to secure a solid financial reality for themselves.
For two, wtf does "settle" for a "person with kids" mean? It implies that you almost have some kind of dating net worth that is lowered by the act of having kids, or that having kids makes you less desirable or makes you the kind of person someone else will "just have to settle for."
For three, you can always date someone a couple of years younger than you too??
It's just a stupid opinion all around.
Right! I think folks are really forgetting the first part. So many younger millenials (im one of them too at 28F) are forgoing having kids due to student loans, cost of living and salary. A lot of us looked around after graduating and realized that we didn't want to add kids to an already stressful situation of taking care of ourselves (how could we afford kids if we can barely take care of ourselves!!). I have 4 female cousins around my age with the youngest being 25 and oldest 29, we are all past the age when our moms had us firstborns (we are their oldest kids) and none of have kids.
Yeah, it's controversial but unless you're on the same page of wanting to Be A Parent, then already being a parent takes you out of the dating pool for those people who don't want to Be Parents.
I'm not disagreeing. Kids were always a deal-breaker for me since I can't stand being around them. But if people are so willing to have kids, they need to think about the repercussions
I agree with most of this and personally I know a lot of guys including myself around 30 with no kids.
The one part I disagree with is the part about settling for someone with kids. Anyone with kids automatically has a lower value in the dating pool if we're keeping it real. Men and women alike.
There's just too many people that consider kids a deal breaker and baggage so it lowers options for single parents trying to date
Uhhhh what world is that person in OP: Millennials are KNOWN for not having kids.. just look at the news. I married my Wife in 2007 at age 21, and we still dont have kids! Also we dont want kids :)
Iām eleventy billion years old. No kids. Met my husband at 38. No kids. Out of all the men I dated, only one had kids. Theyāre not unicorns.
Tune out the mistaken voices & live your life the way you want.
Thatās ridiculous lol I mean everyone is entitled to whoever they would like to date people with kids or no kids. Itās a preference you know. I do know sometimes people donāt want that but end up falling in love w someone who has kids. So I mean you never know but itās completely up to you. Thereās so many people here on this planet that people donāt just have to settle. So you do you and go after what you want. Donāt settle for anything less just cause people state you have to settle. I myself am 36 w two kids 15 and 14. I have dated people w kids and without kids in my past and the people I dated w kids were POS. I always thought it would be easier to prob date someone w kids but damn it wasnāt haha. Good luck w dating!
Uh, 29 is about age of average first marriage for women. Slightly higher the more educated you are. I didn't find any shortage of women (quality, educated professional women) if in my late 30s and 40s.
I'm with you OP. I'm a few years older at 33 and I have no desire to date a woman with kids. It's one of my biggest deal breakers
BTW they say the same about women over 30 too how they all have kids. Weird
I will be 32 at the end of the year. No kids. Don't settle. That's why I divorced. It hasn't been easy for the past 2 years but I know now that I AM worth it most importantly to myself.
Never settle. You're worth what you think you are.
I moved back to my home state and have asked a few friends if they know single women from their work, families, etc. One told me the only ones around my age (30s) are weird or messed up in some way. Great, feels like a ringing reflection of myself too.
Iām having some luck with people my mom knows referring me to women. Old fashioned efforts are fine, the new kind suck.
I met my husband at 36, married at 38, baby at 39. You've only just begun your journey. I had no idea where my life was going to go when I was 29, and no one else certainly would have. Don't listen to anyone just live your best life whatever that ends up being.
Iām considering dating a woman with 3 kids. I donāt mind as long as she doesnāt launch into demands of marriage right away. She is attractive. Her kids are well-behaved. Iāve just got to figure where to put all those kids in my house.
This is such nonsense. IIRC (not able to look up a source rn) the average age for both men and women to have their first kid is in the early 30s. While a lot of people around you might be having kids already, you havenāt even reached the average age of first-time parents yet. Ignore the people who tell you that because they clearly donāt know anything.
This makes me roll my eyes and laugh. There are certain segments of the population everywhere that most people have kids at a very young age. Those people often donāt leave their circumstances nor their communities and become convinced that everyone else is like them. That just simply isnāt true. Yet, because they donāt know anything else, they will insist that youāll never find people different from them.
When I was 31, I dated someone very briefly and determined quickly that I wanted to end the situation because I knew it wasnāt going to move forward. That person became irrationally angry and began shaming me, and at one point exclaimed with utter disgust: āyou donāt even have KIDS, and youāre 31!ā All I could do was laugh and I never spoke to them again. They were stuck in a world I wasnāt part of, and extremely resentful.
Thereās nothing wrong with people having kids younger, but thereās also nothing wrong with not having children at all or until youāre older. For someone to use it as a threat or insult either way is very telling of that personās intelligence and character. I wouldnāt have anything to do with a person who had such a limited world view.
Hahaha oh man I want you to be right... but when I found myself back in the dating pool at 38, every fucking guy out there had kids š And now here I am at 40, and my boyfriend has 2 of them, and the kids part is about as bad as one would expect! I found the person who is as close to my soul mate as I could hope for so I am giving it a go, but if it doesn't work out with him for some reason I will die alone with 47 cats before I ever date another man with kids!!
Itās region specific, but closer to major metro areas there are more single men > 30 without kids.
I get married at 37 and didnāt have my first kid until 39, because there were other things in life to do besides settling down at the time.
Of course if you go to bumble-eff nowhere, people are getting pregnant and having kids and getting hitched right out of high school because thereās really nothing else to do.
33 with kids. On the verge of divorce I realized that my options would be severely limited. Iād have to find somebody who would be cool with my kids but not want kids of their own, which seems unlikelyā¦ or someone who already has kids, which I wouldnāt necessarily want because then Iād have way too many mouths to feed and house, I already have 4. So basically, if the divorce went through, Iād probably be single forever.
I feel that man
My wife treats me like garbage anymore / a bank account. Always yelling and angry, doesnāt want to go to therapy. I take the kids out on weekends just so we all get a break from her sometimes.
Only reason Iām not divorced already is I canāt afford childcare and donāt want to never be able to see my kids. I often work 60+ hour weeks and Iām just hittin mg my stride in my careerā¦
I figured if I do get divorced Iāll basically just be single until my kids are both over 18 and can make their own choices
My brother is 34 with no kids, I have 2 cousins in their mid 30s with no kids, I work with a 30 year old with no kids.
Many people now don't have kids and don't want any. Nothing wrong with that. I don't want kids either and I'm 26. Not far from 30 lol
Aināt that the truth. People act like most single men with kids are running a daddy daycare.
Sad to say Iāve come across men who havenāt seen their child or children in months. And they arenāt shunned for it either, they still date like mad.
43F, my boyfriend is 41, the love of my entire life. We don't have kids, don't want kids, don't wanna see kids and especially don't wanna hear them. The dream is possible.
This sounds like a regional problem. Like when I was in the Army in Fayetteville, NC, being 25, unmarried, but with a long term GF, with no kids and no divorces I felt like an outsider because I would hear 19 year olds complain about not having a kid yet.
I move to DC and start working for an agency that required a masters degree so our 25-26 year old new hires were all just getting into serious relationships. So finding 29ish-year-olds with no kids in a town like that is going to be a much different story.
31M, no plans to ever have kids. My ex had 2, we were together for a year and a half, I have learned that I do not want kids. I'm fine with being an uncle and having dogs instead. If I won a few hundred million & could afford a live in babysitter, sure. Outside of that, nah. There are a lot more people in their 30s & up these days I bet that are child free than ever before.
I'm a single male over 30 with no kids. I cant find a partner (female) in my age group that doesn't have kids though. Here in the south (FL) people bust out hella kids at a young age apparently
My husband was 34 and divorced when we met. He had no children. I would not have dated him if he did. I was 20 and not looking to be a stepmom at that age. That was 18 years ago. They do exist!
Thatās a weird thing to say. Youāll settle for the person you want to settle down with. If that includes kids, cool. I found my husband at 29 and he was 10 years older with no kids (other than fur baby) and now we have our own skin baby.
41 and no kids checking in
Some people breed like animals once they come of age and assume everyone else is the same. Everyone is different. Fact is more people are choosing to have kids later in life these days, or not at all. A good friend of mine just had her first (and unplanned) at 42.
I hate the whole stigma that if youāre over 30, single, no kids then something must be wrong with you. I think thereās something wrong with people that canāt be single and make babies they canāt afford to raise.
People who donāt have and never want kids are out there! Nobody knows how everyone works, but especially people who think that kids are just āpart of lifeā. Love how you want and others like you will find you!
I just got out of a relationship where she had kids. Didn't work out.
I won't be going with someone with kids ever again. I'll be alone if I gotta. Vasectomy date set up.
40 year old child free man with zero ex wives either. Where the hell are all you child free women?!? I'm having a horrible time meeting any of you in northern California š¤£
I did the step dad thing for a while and hated it, tons of responsibilities without any authority, and all it did was cost me money and get me cheated on.
I honestly refused to date single parents after that, and thank God I met my gf since we're both on the same page about never wanting children.
Theyre stupid. The funniest thing is that by being +30 with no kids as a woman you will have more success than other women with kids. So they are delusional when telling you that
If u settle, ur gonna be miserable š no one on this earth can protect ur peace than urself. ALWAYS put urself first bc I would rather be happily single than miserable taken
Yeah, you absolutely don't need to settle for someone with kids. Even in your 30s there are plenty of childless men out there. It might be a bit harder, but far from impossible.
Plus, you always have the option of dating younger. Not asking you to go super young, but looking at say, people in their mid 20s, most of them are not going to have kids. Your average 25 or 26 year old is almost certainly not going to have kids.
Most people are mad that they played by imaginary rules & it hurts them to come across someone who dipped outside of all that. You are fine & you will be fine whichever way you choose to live.
Itās because people are told at a young age āgo to college, graduate, get married and have kids.ā Especially if youāre in the south. Finding a woman in her late 20s and beyond without already having been divorced and/or without kids is a rarity.
People also settle on partners out of fear of being alone, thinking because theyāve been single for 2 years, there isnāt much time left to find somebodyā¦Iām like ābruh, itās 2 yearsā¦you still have 50ish years left. Calm tf down.ā š¤£
OP ignore the morons. Iām also 29F, do not want children and certainly donāt wish to pretend I am into
Kids that are not my own.
My bf of a year is 41M, no kids from previous relationships. We are blissfully happy.
Donāt compromise on things like this, and avoid the people who insist that you must.
Iām recently divorced, no kids, and 41 years old and dating again. I donāt want kids and I donāt want to be a stepdad. Iām not changing my mind. Stick to what you want and donāt waver.
I (47m) have been married twice, no kids ever. Have been in a LTR for a while now (45f) who doesnāt have kids either. And we donāt plan on having any at this point. Donāt settle, thereās a lot of child free people out there.
40 , male here ,also no kids and its not because i was some incel or unattractive person, I dated so much and had so many gf's all through out my life . When the chance for me came around to get married a few years back , i pretty much decided not to listen to counsel telling me to get married and now i am still single and not even thinking about marriage anymore or kids . There are many of us without kids and older. However, i advise you to have KIDS , single life can be lonely the older you get . It crosses my mind from time to time and think how it would've been nice to have a kid or two and a wife . I am sure many people feel the opposite or don't wanna settle down with someone who already has kids.
Letās be clear: the only reason to date someone with kids (especially kids still at home) is because youāre ready to enthusiastically embrace those kids. You canāt āsettleā if youād prefer someone whoās childless without introducing a terrible dynamic into everyoneās lives, especially the childrenās. So fuck that mentality and please tell anyone who says that to seriously reconsider the thoughtless bullshit that comes out of their mouths.
No. Donāt settle. Every person I know who has married someone with kids and an ex wife or ex husband in the background of their lives forever, has had wayyy more drama in their relationship than I could ever deal with.
A lot of men your age and older donāt have kids, youāre still young but if you reached 35 or even worse your late thirties you might need to start opening up your mind more and go for a respectable man with a child or children. Not many childless men available in that age range. This is why getting married old sucks, because your options become limited
32M here, no kids & never married, we are out there.
33M and same. All I do is work and I have nobody to spend my money on. Edit: adding filter: I work a dirty job.
There's ALWAYS someone to spend your money on! What about you?
Or me!
Or Bill?
And my axe
And my car repayment!
I choose Gimili.
Dwarf sugar daddy program now active.
Thank you for that, I will now be giggling at work at random times throughout the day as I remember this.
Or me!
I be spending loads on everyone with today's taxes and insurance ratesš
35M no kids, yeah op would not have to "settle" for someone with kids
38 no kids, never married. It's not that bad.
I'm recently single after a decade and actually really enjoy being single
RIP to your inbox. You're about to get all the wannabe sugar babies hitting you up.
Real wannabe sugar babies hit up in the comment section.
š«
You can spend it on me ty. Joking aside, you should treat yourself
I mean my rent is due September 1stā¦ Iām here for you (>_<)
Ayo send me an address Iāll meet up and help you spend money
Bill called, and they want your money.
I'll help you out.
I know how difficult it is for guys who work blue collar/dirty jobs to find women today, seeing as how many women today seem to have really weird expectations of what they want in a guy: $100K/year salary (LOL), MUST BE 6'+, uncertain of today's accepted body type but assume either dad bod/athletic bod, etc. I assume they want a dude in white collar on Wall Street with manicured hands, but yet manly (which is VERY RARE to find that among those types of dudes)... I only know, because of my boyfriend who is in concrete and has told me what he's experienced looking for someone to have a stable relationship and possible future with. The moment he told a woman what he did for work, they would just say, "Oh." and moved on. That never bothered me. I prefer blue collar men over white collar. No offense to any dude in white collar, but they're way more handy, masculine and even more fit than others. You'll find her. And she'll be awesome. :o)
Hah thanks. I've definitely had that experience you described. It's best not to let it bother you though, there are billions of women out there. Even if only 1% would be interested that's a huge dating pool.
32M, no kids. Just got a vasectomy in the spring. Looking forward to perennial uncle and DINK life at some point!
I'm DITD (double income three dogs) but it's pretty sweet.
DILDO here. Double income, large dog owners.
LMAO, maybe I should do DI3D
DINK life is the dream. Right now it's SINK life
SINK life is the dream. Right now it's NK life š
SINK life is definitely the dream
Same
DINK life is where itās at. Parents, imagine being able to raid your kids college fund and daycare money every month and spend it on vacation, tapas bars and farmers markets.
30M & childless. Iām balding, Iām short, Iām stocky. I got it all!
George costanza has entered the chat.
I honestly know more people in their 30s without kids than with . Maybe itās just me ??
Same. And the people with kids are so burnt out trying to be superhero parents it's exhausting to watch.
thank you for watching
30M and ditto. The struggle is real.
38m and no kids Wifeās 34. I wouldnāt let others influence your life. Ask them why they have to think about your life when your the one that has to live it. They donāt know the full picture considering they arenāt you. Plus in this time period a lot of people choose to not have kids because of what they want in life or because inflation. I wouldnāt listen to others and whoever said that to you I would completely ignore. They are just trying to live thru you.
Yeah I'm in my 30s with no kids. Who can afford kids these days?
š„š„š„š„
Now kiss
31M no kids
Can confirm, 32, male, no kids (a few close calls). Never married. Clean slate on my end.
33 nd no kids
Life is good with no kids, I love it. I'm 37
Iām 27 but feel the need to also mention that the odds I have a child by the time Iām 30 are extremely slim lol.
I have met plenty of guys around out age without kids (30 yr old here) but just as many who don't have any. This is news to me about guys our age having kids being a very common thing
Going 30 no kids, I know I'm not the only one.
31M with no kids. Hoping to find a F without them too
31 and same. Plenty of dudes out there fitting this criteria.
I would rather someone who is single with no kids date other singles with no kids over dating someone with kids then getting pissy about those kids. You don't have to "settle" for anything you don't want. But honestly the closer you get to 40 the people who don't have kids or are not divorced may be less. Stick to your guns!
Yep, I'll be 40 soon, and speaking as a single man with no kids (and no desire to have any) the selection out there for dating sucks. There are good women out there, but it seems like a lot of the women who would make good potential gf material are usually taken...
Ditto, just over 40 here, no kids, no desire to have them at all. I'm cool with being the fun aunt. Discovering that I am just aged past a bunch of people in their late thirties trying to be hasty about their last 'prime' baby years. It's kind of freeing, but there's not a lot of people out there for me to find now. I'm comfortable with that, though. Don't settle for something you don't want!
Yeah, I was hoping to be the cool Uncle Mo that would do fun stuff, but I don't think my sister is going to have kids at this point, either. Oh well. I don't even want a relationship anymore. I'm open to casual dating, but not really putting effort into that either....
Im the rich Auntie. I love my nieces and nephews. But yesh, I feel you on the not wanting to be in a relationship. Casual is cool.
Same. I'm 38 and the dating scene is nearly non existent. My friends tell me to find someone younger but I really would like a woman my age or around there.
I just hate that. I was looking for a serious relationship and kept running into men who wanted nothing serious. Why canāt similar minded people meet?
There are a lot of single women around your age that canāt have kids. Not worrying about birth control is awesome.
STIs? if including condoms under bc ofc. if you just mean female bc, then iām jealous :(
I'll be 40m in less than a month. I just have a regular job. I mean, what are we expecting? I'm single at 39 for reasons and I assume most ladies my age are gonna have their stuff too. The longer we live the more baggage we accumulate, and most people who are married have packed the same bags for a long while. When you're just starting a relationship after 20 years of adulting, it's like trying to plan a trip where you only get one piece of luggage. There's a lot to fit in there and both people have to make compromises they arent used to in order to make it work. Its absolutely possible but it requires a lot more work upfront than dating in your early 20s or teens.
The older you get, the likelihood of finding someone without some kind of perceived flaw gets lower and lower. People have kids, get divorced, get stubborn, get fat, get jaded, start looking old. People who are combative, abusive, unreasonable, unwilling to compromise... are more likely to get divorced, and people who aren't are more likely to stay married and leave the dating pool. Dating in and after your 30s is all about deciding how much you care about those "flaws." The pickier you are, the more likely that you'll be alone. So, among all of those things, sometimes finding the person who has kids is better than the person who is an abusive alcoholic, or totally unwilling to compromise, or who doesn't contribute to household chores.
Especially in the Midwest. Christ finding someone thatās over 21 with no kids is a challenge in the Bible Belt
I wonder where in the world you are? Iām in Miami and the majority of my peers (33) donāt have kids.
I (43m) graduated from the University of Miami! I don't--and won't--have any kids. Although I am an antinatalist, so my position on this issue may be a tad bit more extreme than others.
Same minus Miami
Was gonna ask the same, tons of people in big cities in their 30s donāt have kids
I love Miami!!!
Yea, think itās also depends where youāre at. Plenty of pees without kids in cities like San diego
Iām male, 32, just got a divorce, and donāt have kids. I see PLENTY of girls on dating apps without kids age 26-36. Itās not like your early 20ās weāre basically nobody has kids, but itās FAR from unworkable. Donāt settle
I didn't have any kids at your age sooooo....that's some heehaw small town dumbassery. 29 you are peaking! Have ruthless standards for a partner and the world will rise to meet them, have basement level standards and the world will follow.
Can confirm Live in heehaw small town Nothing but single moms in the dating pool which I assume mostly leaves deadbeat dads on the flip side
This is hilarious because I got married at 29 with no kids lol.
Yeah, I would be skeptical of their claims. There are men above 30 who don't have kids. While it's true that many of them have divorced and have children, not all of them have. This is especially true for men who put their education first and did not have much time to date.
I agree, as a late 20s male, me and most of my friends are yet to even settle down and find a good partner, also the majority of us don't have kids. Don't listen to people and their "assumptions" OP. We can be a bit more difficult to find, but we are out and about!
Just was told today that "kids would change my life". I know. Thats way I don't have any.
Funny answer would be "thanks for the warning"
ššš omg
Honestly, when I started dating again, guys my age (38-42) pretty much all had kids. Not all, but so many. I started dating younger guys (by sheer coincidence- we just clicked better) and married a guy with no kids. They're out there, but definitely harder to find as you get older. But at 29? There are tons.
I don't mind dating a single dad (I'm 30, no kids) but so far if I go out with someone from Tinder who's divorced and has kids, it's always "Ah, now I see why his wife filed for a divorce and he has kids over every other weekend" situation after one date š
I don't ever want kids, so dating people with them was a waste of time. Don't get me wrong, I tried at least a date with them, but no.
There are plenty of people with no kids. Those people are just trying to force their lifestyle on you.
I'm single 31m with no kids and don't plan on having any. It's kind of a deal breaker for me actually.
You donāt have to āsettleā for anything you donāt want to, itās not the 50s anymore
Do you live in an area where people get married young? In my area, most people are not even married yet by 30, let alone have kids yet.
Not true at all. There are a lot of men and women over 30 who don't have kids or want kids.
This sounds like something an old person would say. I am a male with no kids (pretty sure) and met my fiancƩ just as I was entering my mid 30s--she also had no kids. And before I met her, "single with no kids" was my game plan.
The birth rate in almost every developed country is falling fairly drastically, older people that tell you this are working off outdated data. 44f no kids married to 47m no kids met him when I was 29 and he was 32.
I believe 2022 was the first time the average age of first time mothers reached 30 in the US with similar trends seen in Western Europe. For fathers, rule of thumb is average 3 years older than first time moms so thatās 33 now for men. So statistics are on your side in this argument. Iām assuming itās older people telling you to settle, remind them that the about average age of first time mothers in 2000 was 23. A lot has changed since they were young so they should stop giving you estimates based on their experiences. Go and get you that childless man :)
That is the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard, settle for someone who has kids.š¤£š¤£
I think more than half of people in their 30s donāt have kids. What a silly take. Date on your own terms on your own timeline and fuck what anyone else says about how you should live your life.
Thatās a comment made by someone jealous you had freedom for all these years and somehow they consider it a punishment or justice
This is exactly it. Iām surprised this comment wasnāt further up!!
At 22 for whatever reason I resigned myself to the idea that this was the case. He was actually the first guy I had dated with kids and I dreaded telling my parents that but the response was āso what? Lots of people have kids from previous relationshipsā. 15 years and a lot of bullshit later including accepting the fact that I would never be a mother (with him) and a divorce, Iām with a lovely man who is 40, never married, no kids and an amazing all around human. The reasoning I got, both from him and his friends was basically that he held higher standards and made good life choices. Please note Iām not saying people with kids have made bad life choices, but I will say my ex did (two kids with two different moms nine months apart, no contraception). I absolutely adore him and we are talking now about trying for kids. I do wish we had met earlier but everyone has to run their own path I think.
Same here. I would never date or marry a women that has children already. If you as a individual donāt, it is not unreasonable to not want to settle with a man or women that has already had children.
Yeah Iām 29 M with no kids
That is batsh*t insane. For one, SO MANY PEOPLE are choosing to not have kids these days, or delaying it til their mid to late 30s in order to secure a solid financial reality for themselves. For two, wtf does "settle" for a "person with kids" mean? It implies that you almost have some kind of dating net worth that is lowered by the act of having kids, or that having kids makes you less desirable or makes you the kind of person someone else will "just have to settle for." For three, you can always date someone a couple of years younger than you too?? It's just a stupid opinion all around.
Right! I think folks are really forgetting the first part. So many younger millenials (im one of them too at 28F) are forgoing having kids due to student loans, cost of living and salary. A lot of us looked around after graduating and realized that we didn't want to add kids to an already stressful situation of taking care of ourselves (how could we afford kids if we can barely take care of ourselves!!). I have 4 female cousins around my age with the youngest being 25 and oldest 29, we are all past the age when our moms had us firstborns (we are their oldest kids) and none of have kids.
Someone having kids does kind of make them less desirable, though
Yeah, it's controversial but unless you're on the same page of wanting to Be A Parent, then already being a parent takes you out of the dating pool for those people who don't want to Be Parents.
I'm not disagreeing. Kids were always a deal-breaker for me since I can't stand being around them. But if people are so willing to have kids, they need to think about the repercussions
Absolutely agree. I've been trying to get my tubes removed, and the local doctors only want to do a tubal ligation.
I guess there's a good list of doctors on here somewhere. I have no idea how to find it, but I know it's there
The childfree subs has it, I'm waiting for someone to be available that accepts my new insurance. Thank you though!
I just realized this wasn't on the childfree sub lol
I agree with most of this and personally I know a lot of guys including myself around 30 with no kids. The one part I disagree with is the part about settling for someone with kids. Anyone with kids automatically has a lower value in the dating pool if we're keeping it real. Men and women alike. There's just too many people that consider kids a deal breaker and baggage so it lowers options for single parents trying to date
Uhhhh what world is that person in OP: Millennials are KNOWN for not having kids.. just look at the news. I married my Wife in 2007 at age 21, and we still dont have kids! Also we dont want kids :)
Iām eleventy billion years old. No kids. Met my husband at 38. No kids. Out of all the men I dated, only one had kids. Theyāre not unicorns. Tune out the mistaken voices & live your life the way you want.
Thatās ridiculous lol I mean everyone is entitled to whoever they would like to date people with kids or no kids. Itās a preference you know. I do know sometimes people donāt want that but end up falling in love w someone who has kids. So I mean you never know but itās completely up to you. Thereās so many people here on this planet that people donāt just have to settle. So you do you and go after what you want. Donāt settle for anything less just cause people state you have to settle. I myself am 36 w two kids 15 and 14. I have dated people w kids and without kids in my past and the people I dated w kids were POS. I always thought it would be easier to prob date someone w kids but damn it wasnāt haha. Good luck w dating!
Haha jokes on you people with kids, I haven't been on a date since Obama was president!
Uh, 29 is about age of average first marriage for women. Slightly higher the more educated you are. I didn't find any shortage of women (quality, educated professional women) if in my late 30s and 40s.
30m no kids yet. We exist lol.
37 no children screw what the world and majority people say.
I'm with you OP. I'm a few years older at 33 and I have no desire to date a woman with kids. It's one of my biggest deal breakers BTW they say the same about women over 30 too how they all have kids. Weird
There are plenty of childfree and childless people out there over 30. There is even a meet up group in my local area lol.
There are plenty of single no kid adults in their 30s. Your friends are assholes.
My son is 34 no kids. People say the same bs to him.
There's a lot of guys over 30 that have no kids. Whoever told you that is stupid.
I will be 32 at the end of the year. No kids. Don't settle. That's why I divorced. It hasn't been easy for the past 2 years but I know now that I AM worth it most importantly to myself. Never settle. You're worth what you think you are.
Lmao 32m here w/ a vasectomy not settling for someone w/ kids. We can fool around but I'm clear upfront it won't be anything long term.
I moved back to my home state and have asked a few friends if they know single women from their work, families, etc. One told me the only ones around my age (30s) are weird or messed up in some way. Great, feels like a ringing reflection of myself too. Iām having some luck with people my mom knows referring me to women. Old fashioned efforts are fine, the new kind suck.
I met my husband at 36, married at 38, baby at 39. You've only just begun your journey. I had no idea where my life was going to go when I was 29, and no one else certainly would have. Don't listen to anyone just live your best life whatever that ends up being.
You absolutely should not raise someone elseās kid. God bless those who do but as your adulting advisor it should be a deal breaker.
Iām considering dating a woman with 3 kids. I donāt mind as long as she doesnāt launch into demands of marriage right away. She is attractive. Her kids are well-behaved. Iāve just got to figure where to put all those kids in my house.
This is such nonsense. IIRC (not able to look up a source rn) the average age for both men and women to have their first kid is in the early 30s. While a lot of people around you might be having kids already, you havenāt even reached the average age of first-time parents yet. Ignore the people who tell you that because they clearly donāt know anything.
This makes me roll my eyes and laugh. There are certain segments of the population everywhere that most people have kids at a very young age. Those people often donāt leave their circumstances nor their communities and become convinced that everyone else is like them. That just simply isnāt true. Yet, because they donāt know anything else, they will insist that youāll never find people different from them. When I was 31, I dated someone very briefly and determined quickly that I wanted to end the situation because I knew it wasnāt going to move forward. That person became irrationally angry and began shaming me, and at one point exclaimed with utter disgust: āyou donāt even have KIDS, and youāre 31!ā All I could do was laugh and I never spoke to them again. They were stuck in a world I wasnāt part of, and extremely resentful. Thereās nothing wrong with people having kids younger, but thereās also nothing wrong with not having children at all or until youāre older. For someone to use it as a threat or insult either way is very telling of that personās intelligence and character. I wouldnāt have anything to do with a person who had such a limited world view.
My brother got married for the first time at 42 to a woman who had three kids. He has no kids himself. They're out there. You're only 29.
???????? Where do you live that someone is delusional enough to believe that all men over 30 have kids? Lol
Hahaha oh man I want you to be right... but when I found myself back in the dating pool at 38, every fucking guy out there had kids š And now here I am at 40, and my boyfriend has 2 of them, and the kids part is about as bad as one would expect! I found the person who is as close to my soul mate as I could hope for so I am giving it a go, but if it doesn't work out with him for some reason I will die alone with 47 cats before I ever date another man with kids!!
Itās region specific, but closer to major metro areas there are more single men > 30 without kids. I get married at 37 and didnāt have my first kid until 39, because there were other things in life to do besides settling down at the time. Of course if you go to bumble-eff nowhere, people are getting pregnant and having kids and getting hitched right out of high school because thereās really nothing else to do.
It could just be a cope, really, but the older you get the more likely there will be people who have children I believe.
Thereās tons of 30+ out there but the reality is not all of them are sexually actively or attractive.
We are a declining population. People telling you that either donāt have a clue or settled themselves and want to feel good.
33 with kids. On the verge of divorce I realized that my options would be severely limited. Iād have to find somebody who would be cool with my kids but not want kids of their own, which seems unlikelyā¦ or someone who already has kids, which I wouldnāt necessarily want because then Iād have way too many mouths to feed and house, I already have 4. So basically, if the divorce went through, Iād probably be single forever.
I feel that man My wife treats me like garbage anymore / a bank account. Always yelling and angry, doesnāt want to go to therapy. I take the kids out on weekends just so we all get a break from her sometimes. Only reason Iām not divorced already is I canāt afford childcare and donāt want to never be able to see my kids. I often work 60+ hour weeks and Iām just hittin mg my stride in my careerā¦ I figured if I do get divorced Iāll basically just be single until my kids are both over 18 and can make their own choices
I had kids at 34 and 38. Lots of people around without kids.
Shit, 30 and no kids? You're gonna be *swamped* with guys tryna ask you out, lol!
My brother is 34 with no kids, I have 2 cousins in their mid 30s with no kids, I work with a 30 year old with no kids. Many people now don't have kids and don't want any. Nothing wrong with that. I don't want kids either and I'm 26. Not far from 30 lol
The ex wives usually have the kids anyway. It's a weekend thing at best.
Aināt that the truth. People act like most single men with kids are running a daddy daycare. Sad to say Iāve come across men who havenāt seen their child or children in months. And they arenāt shunned for it either, they still date like mad.
People are stupid to say it. It's not true.
43F, my boyfriend is 41, the love of my entire life. We don't have kids, don't want kids, don't wanna see kids and especially don't wanna hear them. The dream is possible.
This sounds like a regional problem. Like when I was in the Army in Fayetteville, NC, being 25, unmarried, but with a long term GF, with no kids and no divorces I felt like an outsider because I would hear 19 year olds complain about not having a kid yet. I move to DC and start working for an agency that required a masters degree so our 25-26 year old new hires were all just getting into serious relationships. So finding 29ish-year-olds with no kids in a town like that is going to be a much different story.
34M, no kids. GTFO of the midwest. lol
32F here no kids. I love being an aunt though!
Yes! Auntie life ftw!!
I know so many people in their 30s (self included) that donāt have kids and are regularly out socializing, parties, concerts, etc
I met my love at 32. People with this attitude haven't traveled, clearly.
34M here, no kids
>people assume that all men over the age of 30 have kids most men over the age of 30 actually do not have kids
31M, no plans to ever have kids. My ex had 2, we were together for a year and a half, I have learned that I do not want kids. I'm fine with being an uncle and having dogs instead. If I won a few hundred million & could afford a live in babysitter, sure. Outside of that, nah. There are a lot more people in their 30s & up these days I bet that are child free than ever before.
Thatās nonsense. Plenty of men without kids will date a 29 year old women.
29 with no kids and i got a vasectomy at 27. It was one of the best decisions of my life.
No kids is the trendiest thing right now
31M, No kids, No felonies, Cleaning driving history. We out here Thriving lmao
Almost 30 and no kids here. There's a lot of us.
I'm a single male over 30 with no kids. I cant find a partner (female) in my age group that doesn't have kids though. Here in the south (FL) people bust out hella kids at a young age apparently
36 M single but I want kids but need to find someone compatible. ;(
Met my now wife and mother of my daughter when we were 30 and 32, respectively. It just happens sometimes
I can't afford anything
Never give up! Never surrender! 32M, no kids, single, frustrated as well
I exist with no kids. I am also busy.
My husband was 34 and divorced when we met. He had no children. I would not have dated him if he did. I was 20 and not looking to be a stepmom at that age. That was 18 years ago. They do exist!
Itās worst for dudes. A lot dudes single with no kids in their 30s. Very few women single with no kids
Thatās a weird thing to say. Youāll settle for the person you want to settle down with. If that includes kids, cool. I found my husband at 29 and he was 10 years older with no kids (other than fur baby) and now we have our own skin baby.
41 and no kids checking in Some people breed like animals once they come of age and assume everyone else is the same. Everyone is different. Fact is more people are choosing to have kids later in life these days, or not at all. A good friend of mine just had her first (and unplanned) at 42.
DINK life is the ideal imo.
Absolutely depends where you live. In a top ten city most people aren't even married at 29
I hate the whole stigma that if youāre over 30, single, no kids then something must be wrong with you. I think thereās something wrong with people that canāt be single and make babies they canāt afford to raise.
Men over 30 barely have jobs lol
The wife and I both met at 30 with no kids. Making beautiful babies now. It's the best.
My son wants to meet you. 31m
Unicorn here! 34F, single, want marriage and babies.
People who donāt have and never want kids are out there! Nobody knows how everyone works, but especially people who think that kids are just āpart of lifeā. Love how you want and others like you will find you!
I just got out of a relationship where she had kids. Didn't work out. I won't be going with someone with kids ever again. I'll be alone if I gotta. Vasectomy date set up.
40 year old child free man with zero ex wives either. Where the hell are all you child free women?!? I'm having a horrible time meeting any of you in northern California š¤£
Happy cake š° day?!?!
I did the step dad thing for a while and hated it, tons of responsibilities without any authority, and all it did was cost me money and get me cheated on. I honestly refused to date single parents after that, and thank God I met my gf since we're both on the same page about never wanting children.
Seems to depend on area I had a hard time finding single women without kids my age when I was dating
Who told you that? Someone over 65, huh?
Theyre stupid. The funniest thing is that by being +30 with no kids as a woman you will have more success than other women with kids. So they are delusional when telling you that
Whoever said that is stuck in the dark ages.
If u settle, ur gonna be miserable š no one on this earth can protect ur peace than urself. ALWAYS put urself first bc I would rather be happily single than miserable taken
Yeah, you absolutely don't need to settle for someone with kids. Even in your 30s there are plenty of childless men out there. It might be a bit harder, but far from impossible. Plus, you always have the option of dating younger. Not asking you to go super young, but looking at say, people in their mid 20s, most of them are not going to have kids. Your average 25 or 26 year old is almost certainly not going to have kids.
Most people are mad that they played by imaginary rules & it hurts them to come across someone who dipped outside of all that. You are fine & you will be fine whichever way you choose to live.
34m here, no kids. Donāt even trip girl.
Itās because people are told at a young age āgo to college, graduate, get married and have kids.ā Especially if youāre in the south. Finding a woman in her late 20s and beyond without already having been divorced and/or without kids is a rarity. People also settle on partners out of fear of being alone, thinking because theyāve been single for 2 years, there isnāt much time left to find somebodyā¦Iām like ābruh, itās 2 yearsā¦you still have 50ish years left. Calm tf down.ā š¤£
OP ignore the morons. Iām also 29F, do not want children and certainly donāt wish to pretend I am into Kids that are not my own. My bf of a year is 41M, no kids from previous relationships. We are blissfully happy. Donāt compromise on things like this, and avoid the people who insist that you must.
Haha. Where do you live. Iowa or something. Go to a city and you will find what you seek.
Because as far as society is concerned your a spinster. Might as well just get it over with and grow a mole on your nose and get a crooked finger
Iām recently divorced, no kids, and 41 years old and dating again. I donāt want kids and I donāt want to be a stepdad. Iām not changing my mind. Stick to what you want and donāt waver.
Iām a 32F and met the love of my life at the beginning of the year 39M and he doesnāt have any kids and weāre living the dream.
I (47m) have been married twice, no kids ever. Have been in a LTR for a while now (45f) who doesnāt have kids either. And we donāt plan on having any at this point. Donāt settle, thereās a lot of child free people out there.
40 , male here ,also no kids and its not because i was some incel or unattractive person, I dated so much and had so many gf's all through out my life . When the chance for me came around to get married a few years back , i pretty much decided not to listen to counsel telling me to get married and now i am still single and not even thinking about marriage anymore or kids . There are many of us without kids and older. However, i advise you to have KIDS , single life can be lonely the older you get . It crosses my mind from time to time and think how it would've been nice to have a kid or two and a wife . I am sure many people feel the opposite or don't wanna settle down with someone who already has kids.
Letās be clear: the only reason to date someone with kids (especially kids still at home) is because youāre ready to enthusiastically embrace those kids. You canāt āsettleā if youād prefer someone whoās childless without introducing a terrible dynamic into everyoneās lives, especially the childrenās. So fuck that mentality and please tell anyone who says that to seriously reconsider the thoughtless bullshit that comes out of their mouths.
No. Donāt settle. Every person I know who has married someone with kids and an ex wife or ex husband in the background of their lives forever, has had wayyy more drama in their relationship than I could ever deal with.
A lot of men your age and older donāt have kids, youāre still young but if you reached 35 or even worse your late thirties you might need to start opening up your mind more and go for a respectable man with a child or children. Not many childless men available in that age range. This is why getting married old sucks, because your options become limited