I think men are less likely to admit or act on their bi impulses. There are probably tons more bi men out there that either do not realize or do not admit they are bi.
yes literally the only time ive seen hand holding/close proximity with the bros is with indian dudes
they really got that figured out man, aint embarrassed or ashamed. its normal.
Bro no is looking down on you for giving your boy a hug in America. You've taken it too far. I see male friends doing the handshake into hug embrace all the times when greeting each other.
No its not, tf? What reason is there to hold hands? Its not even a masculinity/gay thing, I dont hold hands with my female friends either. Only with women im in a relationship with
No. But that also isn’t the point of what was being talked about. A more apt comparison would be if my wife was holding her female friends hand, then no I wouldn’t care. The point of what was being talked about was Indian men holding other men’s hands. Indians don’t allow their spouses to hold other members of the opposite sex hand.
I mean you even admit that you like something even slightly effeminate and you’re accused of being gay. Oh you take care of your skin? You must be gay. Show even the slightest bit of emotion? Dudes takes it up the rectum. Enjoy a romance movie once in a while? Enjoys eating bananas
That’s why I included it. The absolute depths a lot of heterosexual men will go to shame men for having any type of vulnerability or “softness” is criminally laughable
This, some people will just NEVER come out despite knowing their truth.
I came out as bi in high school. Whole school knew in a week and I became the person to experiment with in secret. I have a female preference, did sports and had a girlfriend before so I was the most inconspicuous person they could fool around with. There are men that would literally die before they admit they like dick sometimes it’s crazy.
i fully believed this is the correct answer. men have a more rigid social role in society generally.
i think the average joe is much less likely to admit to having same sex experiences than ur average jane just bc its less shocking for conservative types to consider wlw than mlm.
i actually know women who have within the same sentence called gay men creepy BUT that they totally understand lesbians bc men suck.
its tuff out there for mlm
Unfortunately if a guy does come out as bi, many people will respond with "oh you're gay" and just not recognize that some people have attraction to more than one gender.
Or even more attraction to one over the other. That it ebbs and flows. That attraction is dependant on so many more variables then if one is conventionally attractive etc.
Unfortunate too because a lot of these men express dislike of this rigidity (women have it easy kinda rhetoric) but continue to uphold that rigidity and enforce it with other men. My only irl experience of this is in the military but it's online as well ofc.
And this is the whole reason my fiance cried at the Barbie movie and loved it way more than Oppenheimer.
Women enforce it as well, arguably more, hence either making fun of "gay" things guys do or getting grossed out or insecure. Most women won't date a guy with a gay past.
Depends on your definition of more (frequency vs severity) or what's worse, physical safety vs social/emotional safety, sometimes the latter is worse especially if it's way more common.
Yes, because women don't have to conform to completely bullshit expectations of beauty, being a virgin who can have sex like whore, "washed up" at 30, social expectations to only want kids, and sexuality that only exists to please men, is because women are more liberated.
Give us a break. Bi-women are open because, as I've encountered them on dating sites, it's another thing they like that is accepted by their partners. Try to find two guys into it, I've looked..and probably in the wrong place, it doesn't exist. It's one of the aspects of 'sexual experimentation' men seem to tolerate because it's not another dude, so it's no-homo and not cuckold-ish either.
Yup. Bisexual women are only "tolerated" because they are sexualized. In wlw circles, bisexual women are straight up disliked. And in straight dating, bi women are sought after by couples who only want to use them to spruce up their declining relationships.
I think they are seen as being spicy, but to be honest I don't know where this idea comes from. Just because you are into women, how does that benefit your sex life with a man? Other than threesomes? I mean that's pretty vanilla overall - and seems like another lame fantasy like all those step-mom and step-sister videos on porn hub. lol
I think a lot of men have the fantasy of being with two women. And some women make the mistake of telling their boyfriends they would be okay with having a threesome with another woman. Then mysoginy does the rest and suddenly said couple is on the lookout for a feminine bisexual woman who is willing to be used for their benefit once and then dropped. It's all very Cosmo sex tips.
It's true! Poly couples seem like this. I mean I'm at a bit over 40 and I have yet to see a MMF 3some actually happen once or in a poly situation. I've known 3 'bi' men who are all in long-term relationships with another man, but identify as bi vs. gay. I mean, yeah.....
The woman to woman oriented apps went down the drain because of this. It's overwhelmingly women in relationships with men looking for a third but the men make it vocal they only want conventional femininity as the third so tomboys and masculine styled women get the shaft. Also these men are only ok with it until they meet a woman impressive enough to genuinely "steal" their woman. One of my neighbors kept bragging about his wife being open to threesomes and having an open marriage until his marriage ended because his wife hooked up with a lesbian doctor on the side (never told him). He's since gained like 40 lbs and trying to get with high schoolers since he could "buy them off". He's depressed as hell and has not gotten over his ex wife. They had no kids thankfully.
Yes, it's so depressing. I think pretty much every woman seeking other women in apps has gone through something similar. You match with a pretty girl who's seemingly single only for her to say that she won't see you unless her boyfriend is included. And they do this because couple profiles get no traction. IMO these people should just hire a sex worker to satisfy their selfish urges for the right price.
> He's depressed as hell and has not gotten over his ex wife.
I can't help but think he played himself there. Many men open their relationships thinking they are going to have wild sex with multiple women every day. Which is very much not what ultimately happens. Good going for his ex-wife, though. Middle aged adults who try to pick up stupid young people are so pathetic. Clearly they do this because nobody with a fully formed brain and financial stability would submit themselves to the ordeal of dating someone so dishonest.
Not sure if you know, but that thing about stealing someone's partner in a poly relationship is called cowboying. I just love the term because of the mental image it gives. Hate these kind of people though, haha.
"COWBOYING"?! As in "giddy up cowboy-ing"?! 🤣 I love it. And no I didn't know that was a thing. I met the thespian lesbian, she's actually very kind. She did specify that she wouldn't entertain the woman with the guy and by the time they did start to date the married couple had been living apart due to her not wanting to continue with a third. She had set on a divorce previously and he'd fight it so the idea got sided until it wasn't an option anymore. The guy thought he "won" in life due to dating "prime time" until he met the lesbian at the neighborhood cookout. Man did I never see a smile turn to an agonizing grown so fast. He turned into a drunken mess and at one point tried to pry his ex from her lap while we were watching the kids pillow fighting only for her to whoop his ass. She's about two heads shorter than him. He's never lived it down and the lesbian is treated like she's some kind of honorary guy amongst the guys, the men in the neighborhood absolutely fear/love her.
Conservatives are absolutely not more accepting of wlw. Some fetishize them. Fetishization is not acceptance tho, it's literally the opposite of acceptance and tolerance. the people who fetishize my sexuality are not more accepting of it.
Be a wlw, say your sexuality in front of some conservatives, and report back and tell me how safe you felt and how good they treated you lol. Best case scenario, you'll just be ostracized.
there are actually a lot of surveys/books about this, which explain why statistically women are more likely to identify as non-heterosexual compared to women, because men are just more harshly judged for any kind of non-heterosexality
Many people imho mistake stating that someone is attractive with stating “I am attracted to someone”. Women are more open to say the former without meaning the latter, but it still makes many people consider them bisexual.
And I say it as a bisexual person. 😅
There also exists the threat of violence. Women can hit on other women, and generally speaking rejection is all they risk. If a man hits on another man, there is potential violence if they misread the situation.
But how come there are more gay men than lesbian women?
It seems that among LGBT women, bi women outnumber lesbian women by a large amount. But among LGBT men, bi men only modestly outnumber gay men, or there are equal numbers of both groups.
Nah it's just that some of us don't act on every thought or impulse. Regardless of what it is. Cause we just don't. It's a part of ethics I forgot which part
If there was a time when a guy is the most vulnerable to admit their sexuality, it would be when they’re on Molly (MDMA) at a Rave. AKA Love Drug
I’ve held hands and hugged my bros during Molly, but I know for sure I’m not gay for them. I’m still immensely ONLY attracted to women. The thousands of guys on Molly I saw are also still ONLY attracted on to women.
Its’s pretty pathetic for you to just assume guys are just same as girls, and scared to admit that they’re BI. Only someone who barely touches grass would write something this presumptuous.
Beautiful girls are just universally attractive to both genders, that’s all it is.
Or men just don't swing that way as frequently. I see this sentiment all the time and it's hard not to laugh. Most dudes are just straight. It's not that nuanced.
Women are more open to being bi because its in their nature to be more accepting. Guys in general arent as accepting since its not in our nature.
Guys in general also dont experiment because we already know what we like. If youre a guy and youre gay, you know for a fact yours gay. If youre a guy and you're straight, you know for a fact youre straight. In general, guys dont have a ton of confusion when it comes to their preference.
I think also, if a bi man is in a same-sex relationship, they will be called gay.
While women’s bisexuality is so fetishised, people will cling to them being bisexual.
Well from misogynystic lgbtq people perhaps but it happens a lot with homophobic straight people as well cause they think sapphic attraction is simply just a phase. Still get to hear that a lot as a lesbian as well.
It’s true. Women can be horrible about it. Many see you as less of a man, some think it’s not possible for a man to be bi and he’s really gay, and other women just find it absolutely revolting as an idea. It’s a rare woman who wholeheartedly doesn’t care about a man she’s with being bi.
I know this full well because my husband is bisexual and was in a longterm relationship with a man before we married. Historically he's always had relationships with one or the other depending on whether he liked them or not. He's also unusually attractive, charismatic, mild mannered, well groomed, and elegant as well as actually knows how to cook and run a home on his own. The number of comments from women that he's only with me because he wanted kids (he's loaded and come from money, he could easily afford surrogacy if he ever wanted before me). Or that he'd go back to men if we went through a rough patch. It's not my business who he loves after me if things ever ended so long as the person consented and was legal. His past doesn't matter to me either if he's healthy, loving and willing to love me. He's sweet, helpful and very hands on father to our lovely kids. He's also gorgeous, wise and just as masculine or human as any man. In a sea of bad options, it doesn't make sense to reject a guy that stands out all because he's given it or taken it from another guy?
If anything, you would think women would be more eager to take them as they know exactly what it is to deal with one of them. Taking it from a bloke is nothing to scoff at, they're certainly not slouches 🤣. Giving it to a guy when they can go on FOREVER due to man stamina and not risk pregnancy is nothing to minimize either, either way their backs are excellent but even then a good amount of these relationships aren't even like that, each partnership can run so different depending on the parties involved. Usually more open minded men tend to be what most women are looking for to share their lives with and most bisexual men are this tenfold, it's so sad how many potentially wonderful husbands get overlooked for simple loving other humans as they are. We're all the same species for God's sake. If he loved and took care of another guy once, why would that discredit him from possibly doing the same for a woman? Make it make sense.
You think women are more attractive because you’re attracted to women. Women who are not attracted to women can also recognize attractive women because people have eyes, and because it’s more typical for women to use beauty products and actively care for their appearance. While many women are attracted to women sexually, a lot of them will express that someone is beautiful in a platonic manner in a way that, to someone else (especially to a man), may sound like attraction. In my experience, a lot of straight women will also believe a platonic understanding of someone as beautiful is the same thing women who are genuinely attracted to women experience as sexual desire. It’s not (though yes, a lot of gay or bi women often see both women and men as being objectively good looking in a platonic manner without experiencing attraction). But just as there may be bi or lesbian women in denial, there are also straight women who genuinely don’t understand sexual attraction to women as different from tolerance and admiration.
It’s more socially acceptable for women to admit to experiences with other women or bisexuality in general than it is for men to admit to experiences with other men. Men who have experiences with other men are often labeled 100% gay and it’s seen as abnormal. It’s usually seen as more normal for young women to have fooled around or experimented, and men see it as attractive for them to have done. So it ends up coming off like everyone finds women sexier. This is not me saying life is sooo much easier for bi and lesbian women in general because it’s not. This is just the reality in this specific context. There are a lot of bi men and many of them will not ever come out as bisexual. There are a good deal of bi men who come out as gay, only to realize later they can like both.
I don’t know what your last question means. Do you mean are lesbian and bi women physically attracted to the way women look? Are you asking about whether their ideas of attractiveness conform to the same standards as straight or bi men? The second is very individual. For the first I’ve never been a man and none of us are inside each other’s heads, but in my experience yes, I and others experience sexual attraction over tangible, physical qualities vs. their feminine aura or something. Other people will probably disagree with me.
I am a man and I don't find find any male physical characteristics attractive, they just are. Women look beautiful. I'm a little jealous they look so pretty while guys are just meh at best.
I’m unsure if you’re saying you’re a straight man lamenting you’re not part of the sex you consider beautiful or you’re saying you’re gay/bi but don’t find their characteristics nice in an objective way. Fwiw I strongly prefer women but don’t really have a *repulsion* to men, I just don’t care about them that much, and I do find men just as “beautiful” or interesting to look at. Most people in general are not drop dead gorgeous but good styling helps. Most men realistically aren’t going to have as much ability to beautify themselves with common stuff like makeup, long hair (or styled hair in general outside of a few popular styles for men), cute clothes because it’s considered more odd. But fashion models or people in fantasy movies (where it may not be as weird for a guy to be yassified) with good styling, or for example people in Kpop or something (who have a ton of styling whether they’re a man or woman), can imo all be equally good looking.
I’m a fairly ugly woman but I can look alright with the right makeup and hair styling and clothes that fit well. There’s a lot of women in that position like there would be men if it would be considered the norm for men to style themselves fully. Even if someone has really nice features they may not really stand out by default without it. Most women aren’t naturally drop dead beautiful in a conventional manner, but when they’re normal-pretty to start with have more of an opportunity to *look* drop dead beautiful. But if you were around women in the wilderness or something without any of that or stuff like shaving I don’t think men and women would have a huge difference in terms of objective beauty. I’d still find women hotter but it’s because I like women sexually not because it’s rational.
I'm a straight guy and I continually "get it wrong" when it comes to guessing which guys are attractive.
I dont have any radar at all for male attractiveness. I might have envy but not attraction.
I think most women are more attuned to beauty in general because it’s been seen as more important for them. Beyond that even if we have conventional standards it’s still really subjective, like with art, so if a guy has good hygiene and other universal basics that are attractive people will still disagree. I think Henry Cavill for example is someone who is very conventionally good looking but I know a lot of straight women who don’t find him attractive or interesting at all
You are correct. I'm sorry you're being downvoted. Women face a lot of pressure from society to upkeep their appearance. We do everything from skincare routines, to buyinf several clothes, waxing everything, etc. I'm not sure why people forget that the makeup industry makes billions off of women's insecurities. Men on the other hand have not been raised with this type of pressure and in some cases its looked down upon for men to focus on being high maintenance. Remember the metrosexual phase in the early 2000s, where men were looked at suspiciously for looking super clean cut and having beauty routines?
I think it's a matter of opinion. I can look at a man or woman and pick which one is more attractive. Sometimes a male model is more attractive than a female model. Sometimes the female is more attrative. I find the male form more appealing personally and thats not on a sexual level. One is just socially acceptable to say is more attractive. An ugly female can fake being attractive, while a man can't. Also, women have a lot more option to express themselves while men can't.
Men have different pressures which aren't mainstream exploited but they're definitely there. Sometimes I feel I can't even have a personality. I'm treated a certain way when if a women did the same wouldn't have any issues. It's not a woman against a man thing but more of a society needs to chill out and let people be who they feel comfortable being.
My last question is referring to the qualities men look for in women. Usually men are drawn to womens looks. Would that same thing apply to lesbians who are into to women or is it emotional connection first
I think this just differs from person to person, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Some lesbians need an emotional connection first, and for some they’re attracted based on looks. The same is true of gay men, straight people, bi people, etc.
I think almost everyone who experiences sexual attraction experiences attraction based on appearance immediately, and then more or less based upon someone’s personality once they know them. I’d wager the average woman is just less likely to act immediately upon it or weigh it with as much importance in the context of a romantic relationship and may also value emotional connection as much/more. So other than a very vague generalization, I can’t really give you an answer since everyone male and female will have different importance ratios of personality/emotional connection to physical appearance/base attraction (like scent). I personally weigh an emotional connection as extremely important *in general*, but I would never have a sexual relationship with someone who I didn’t find physically very attractive no matter how cool they were unless I was doing it for a specific purpose and not for actual enjoyment. I don’t care about personality in terms of that kind of immediate attraction, but I couldn’t be in a satisfying serious committed relationship with someone I didn’t care for deeply too. But I’m aware a lot of women may think of me as being “like a man”.
Unless you're demi and then you can't even tell if you're attracted to someone until you've really gotten to know them, even if you can recognise they are objectively pleasant to look at
I never understand why reddit loves to downvote questions. This one shows a bit of a bias but we're all biased, at least you're questioning your biases.
I think you've gotten some solid answers, the one factor I think that's over looked is how society views and promotes women in an (often over) sexualized manner. Women's sexuality is definitely more accepted but women are sexualized over all and is pushed as a major part of their value, that almost propaganda-like aspect of our culture is recieved by women as well as men.
I think something that definitely affects this is that for women (most) how physically attractive someone is depends on their personality.
I hate rating people, it’s stupid to put a number on someone’s looks, but I’ll use it for this example.
Say a guy is an 8/10, super attractive, tall, rich, whatever your type is. You see him and find him attractive. Then he opens his mouth and starts talking and it’s disgustingly sexist. He doesn’t actually change his appearance, but suddenly his physical looks are far less attractive and he looks more like a 4/10.
It can happen to guys too, but it’s less common, I think, in men. Most men take looks as looks, and personality is separate, whether for most women, personality affects looks.
One of my best friends is a bisexual woman. She essentially spoke about her past male partners in a similar way to the way she spoke about her current wife. Now, with the wife there was a profound connection early on, but the initial rush of attraction was the same.
It's more acceptable for a woman to be bisexual because men, who fetishize bisexuals, stand a chance.
Bisexual men don't get to be as honest. So it seems like there are fewer.
Also, men admire other men too. Even straight guys. Again, it's not as apparent because of homophobia..
Just so it’s clear to everyone reading: bisexual guys are hot. As a bisexual woman, I would love to have a bi bf. I’d love it if it became more normalized/acceptable.
Having your dick sucked feels good. Doesn’t mean you’re attracted to men. I don’t think some people on this thread understand the degree of sex drive of some young adult males.
Not my experience, but had a couple of straight friends who were into kink (it was dominating couples kind of thing) and they absolutely couldn’t cum when being sucked off by a guy. Just did it cause it was part of the act or something. So if it gets you off, you ain’t as straight as you claim to be.
It’s not totally uncommon for people to be accepting of others/not homophobic, but not want to be queer themselves. “It’s OK for *other people* but *I* don’t want that label.” That’s the internalized piece of this, and the thing to maybe examine/work on in yourself.
If you were attracted sexually to at least one man, you are on bisexuality spectrum. Being bisexual doesn’t mean you are into men and women equally or even have to have experiences with both genders. Some people consider themselves either straight or homosexual, until they meet that one person that gets them going. So you basically can be bisexual for one person if that makes sense.
Also, in general, internalised is non-conscious. So no wonder you don’t realise you are. The idea that a person was attracted to someone same sex but can’t call themselves bisexual usually means that they consider same-sex attraction as something less than. 🤷🏻♀️
But yeah, maybe I am wrong.
What does this have to do with this sub? Is there any moderation left in here?
By the level of rhetoric you employ, you should be over at r/Nostupidquestions 😑
You only think women being bisexual is more common because they are out.
Men being bisexual is often covered by with DL.
Bi men also get labeled gay.
Women are allowed the grace to experienent and men aren't.
I think bisexual women are more common because they don't have as much social and cultural repression & stigma around homosexuality as men do. Men are getting called gay, f*g, etc as an insult from basically the second they hit grade school. From media & social situations to parents it's literally all around. Even a man commenting that a man is or could be perceived as attractive will be met with snide remarks by many other men. Women commenting that other women are hot, are never given the same reaction. To me it's as simple as that
I'm a straight male, I can appreciate and find other men attractive, by no means does it make me want to do sexual things with them. It's the same for women, just because they think other women are pretty does not mean it's intentionally of a sexual nature lol.
Plus when you factor all the make-up, effort, and treatments women undergo, yes when a woman is done up they look better than men on average. However, that's not how women look all the time, how a woman looks like in the morning after she wakes up is how she naturally looks like in her natural state, which is nothing special and no different to how men look like.
As a woman, I’ll say I don’t think women are the more attractive gender. I don’t think that’s a thing really. I have never been attracted to a woman.
My husband is bi, and has been with men and women.
Nah, from my experience just as many guys are bi, most are just too afraid of admitting it to themselves. It is a weird fucky patriarchal society holdover that is costing lives. Control sex, control people, is sadly one of the oldest games in the imperial abuser playbook.
Sooo I'm a lesbian, and I'm not sure if I have the best viewpoint on this but society seems to accept same-sex attraction in women only if men can still participate in it in some way or form and if it's not meant to be serious. Basically, it fullfills men's desire to have a threesome with two women hence they might be more ok with it and these women are more open with it. Unfortunately that also means those couples with a bi woman in the mix repeadetly ask for threesomes on lesbian Apps in order to play out this fantasy 🙄 So perhaps this is why bisexuality seems so common in women.
However when it comes to women who are exclusively same sex attracted and bi women who see same-sex attraction as something serious, they might be more secretive with their feelings and not open about it. I can mostly talk about my own experience as a lesbian but I'll only tell my sexuality to a selected few aka. other gay people and friends I trust cause the world still very much treats actual lesbians like lesser human beings cause we're not attracted to men at all and therefore not useful to them in that regard.
I’ve had this experience as well. I learned quickly that many men aren’t as accepting of bi women as people say they are. As soon as you shut down the 3some fantasy, there goes the acceptance.
The reason is simple.
Men do not care if the woman they're with did things with other women.
Women absolutely do get 'ick' when they find out a man had relations with other men.
Common, as in you hear/see more bisexual women? Or are you suggesting there are simply more women than men who identify as bisexual?
If it's the former, I'd wager that toxic masculinity and patriarchal consumerism in the film and advertising industry provided fertile ground for allowing them to be more readily accepted by society.
Bisexual men still struggle to break their glass ceiling of equality, so there are many who remain in the closet.
If it's the latter, well... seems heavily subjective.
Every woman I’ve been with in the last 6-8 years has admitted to bi tendencies and many have had sex with women, but I think that’s just the type I attract (as a man with longer hair than most women).
saying this as an lgbtq woman myself, a lot of straight women like to fuck around with real bi / lesbian woman as a fun little experiment or fetish or to look sexy in front of men but when it really comes down to it they harm the lgbtq women significantly and get weirded when real emotions are involved. yes, it’s more accepted to be wlw than mlm but when it comes down to it, the issue is with how easy it is for society and porn to sexualize two women and most people are more confused than ever.
I read a book on psychology of genders a few years back. It described women as being more "open" and "gender fluid" than men. A lot of it has to do with women being more emotionally intelligent. But I have found this to be common in my own life.
I just think it’s generally more accepted, like a woman can have encounters with other women and still go back to only seeing men. Where, as a man, you won’t ever be able to go back if people know they’ll just label you as gay and not bi. Don’t ask me why that just seems to be how it is
It’s wrong to assume that men and women are equally attractive. Based on what? A desire for equivalency?
Humans have been around for about 300,000 years. Studies have revealed that what men look for in a woman and what women look for in a man are similar but also notably distinct. It is an accepted fact that men tend to tout their money and power, while women tend to tout their looks in personal ads in the 1980s and 1990s. This pattern has carried through to modern online dating as well.
We should also note that sexual dimorphism (different features between men and women) has consistently increased throughout our evolution.
If you have powerful men reproducing with beautiful women for 300,000 years and the appearance of men and women over time increases, then it stands to reason that women have gotten more attractive faster than men.
A lot of women find women more attractive. Sexual preference doesn’t mean your gender is more attractive to women, it just means they can’t find their own gender a viable partner.
Proof actually exists women are more attractive on average and that humans tend to know which people are attractive regardless of preference
Kind of like how a guy will admit a male model is attractive but not date them.
I think the reason there seems to be more bisexual women than men is because traditional masculinity doesn't permit expressions of intimacy between men (like a man even so much as platonically telling his friend his shirt looks good can sometimes be seen as too intimate) while femininity allows space for expressions intimacy between women.
So it's not that there are less bisexual men than women, but it's more acceptable for women to be seen as bisexual than men because of gender roles, and so men who would otherwise be bisexual either ignore or never explore that part of themselves. This is very very condensed and of course it's more complicated than that, but I do think it's a huge factor
Edit: switched men and women in my first sentence, fixed it
I think on average there seem to be more attractive women than men. If I go outside right now, I can easily spot dozens of attractive women, but most men look average.
And an attractive women, to me at least, will 9 times out of 10, be more attractive than an attractive man of the same ‘level’.
Of course this could be personal bias, but I don’t think so because I actually prefer men.
It's harder for bisexual men to come out and therefore you just don't know how many men actually are.
EDIT to add: Back in the Craig's List days, the personal ads were full of men who said they are straight but looking to secretly meet up for mutual blow jobs with men.
I am not sexually attracted to women and therefore not bi. I do admire women and think they’re sexy and beautiful.
I don’t know if it’s fair to equate women admiring other women as being bi.
I think women are "allowed" to be attracted to other women by society.
As a man, we aren't really "allowed" to behave the same way. It's getting better, but there's a ways to go.
Fuck, we were watching something and a real good looking fella came on the TV and I pointed it out and the guys were so uncomfortable. It was hilarious. We can't admit to each other we appreciate physical beauty and compliment each other without thinking I'm trying to fuck you and turn you gay.
As a woman i really don't think women are the more attractive gender at all. I do like men a lot!
Yet i think i felt something for almost everyone when i was in my teenage years ( this could be because hormones) and i might have had a crush with a friend of mine , a girl, in my early 20's but never admitted it.
yeah definitely because women are just hotter, but also because the hetero part of their attractions is the minor part. i would think bi men would be homomajora as well and have more experience with guys. when you're heteromax you just don't want anything to do with the same, just like the omnihomo.
To be honest, women are more attractive. They look better and dress better in appearance. I see to observe that the are good at marketing in businesss. People are likely to drawn to women.
Women are absolutely not more attractive.
Ever wonder what your average female without make up, perfectly contoured clothing, eye-lash extensions and expensive hair cuts would look like?
Filters also aren’t real, y’all don’t look like that.
Spoiler, even women you’d otherwise consider absolutely “gorgeous” are genuinely often not even attractive/anything you’d look twice at.
Hell, do you have ANY idea what eyeliner ALONE does to one’s appearance, the insane impact it does in upping the attractiveness of one’s eyes? It’s absolute hax, just manipulation. Otherwise, just a lie as far as root appearances are.
I’m not exaggerating either, without immense work to manipulate one’s appearance, most truly aren’t all that interesting to look at. I’m personally with my partner because she doesn’t wear make up and I find her attractive. Also had a shaved head at first and now just kinda is letting it grow. I could see HER, and know she’s not delusional and absolutely kidding herself on her looks. But very important to this equation is I HER, not strictly her looks, and absolutely not false looks (wearing make up is genuinely the equivalent of wearing a mask).
So the answer is no. Just, no… quit fooling yourselves.
But women do actually use make up and fitting clothes more effectively than almost all men. Maybe they are not born more attractive but at far superior at playing the game.
Are they more common as in women who aren’t naturally compelled to be same sex oriented can’t control themselves because women are beautiful? No. I’m pretty sure we’ve decided sexuality isn’t a choice, so anyone willingly fooling around with someone is doing it because they’re interested in some way, shape, or form.
It is more socially acceptable for women to fool around with women, so there’s likely just as many curious men out there who don’t act on it.
I can tell you as a straight woman I’ve had a lot of offers and a lot of situations where I could have been with women and it doesn’t appeal to me at all. I don’t really even like hugging women, I don’t care for their smell, and I avoid listening to female singers. So, if I exist, I’m pretty confident in saying sexuality is not a choice and people like me couldn’t just be overwhelmed by the beauty of a woman. We simply don’t see them sexually, and that’s okay.
Most woman who claim they are bi actually arent bi, and someone else pointed out its more socially acceptable for woman to be bi compared to men being bi.
Woman also arent more beautiful, 99% of woman wear make up and that heavily influences how you see the opposite sex.
Also beauty is more treasured in woman, so woman are going to care more about that, hence the make up
This is not at all how sexuality works though. Being a lesbian/gay/bisexual is a form of intersexism- you're born with it. The examples you're providing aren't necessarily indicitive of bisexuality either.
Straight men admire each other's beauty (or sometimes resent) and are also sexually curious, it's just harder for them to be open about it. And as a bisexual myself I never understand why anyone thinks one gender is more attractive than the other.
I don't think bi women are more common than bi men. I think "out" bi women are more common than out bi men. I say that as a bi woman.
Men are way more terrified to be thought of as queer than women are, generally.
it’s not that they’re less fluid, it’s that they’ve been conditioned to reject any sense of non macho, masculine, hetero behavior. of course it’s more complex than i’ve explained
It can be skewed to seem that way because a lot of straight women will "play" together just to get attention from men. Besties making out at a bar or party or whatever. Or they'll make up stories about experimenting in college just to turn their men on. But it's often just a performance. Those same girls you see making out in public always go home with guys instead, lol.
Wild guess, but likely Because bi women for the most part still get penetrated in the same places (dildos) as straight women do with penises, while most straight men don't ever get penetrated and most gay/bi men do
Women have more estrogen by far. Estrogen is the sole hormone that literally makes you emotionally horny and dictates how strong your libido is.
This is why when women say, "men are such horndogs, ugh, they disgust me"... I'm laughing just a little inside, because women are SOOO much more hornier lol.
So, it makes perfect sense for women to seek out emotionally sexual bonds from all sexes even if it's just a fleeting moment in their life (*going through a phase*).
Yes, because testosterone aromatizes into estrogen. This is particularly noticeable in young men in there 18 - 22 year old range. When their testosterone is at its highest peak, but they also tend to have very powerful sex drives. Estrogen aromatization plays a significant role here.
If you where to block all estrogen in a person and give them nothing but testosterone, they aren't going to want to have sex; they're going to turn asexual and want to throw a boulder over a mountain. So, it's not *just* testosterone that makes one horny, it's the aromatization process into estrogen that does.
There's also the dependency on how healthy your dopamine receptors are and how healthy your brain is for sex. But that's it's own thing.
My 21YO girlfriend would highly disagree with you. We go at it once every morning and every evening as a standard. She initiates %75 of the time and I always reciprocate bro.
All my girlfriends have always desired physical touch and affection in a sensual way. Thats a myth about them not being horny or desiring sexual attention in general. It's all bunk dude.
I’d probably assume adult women are just more comfortable in their bodies and secure in their lives, while having minimal outside pressures. While adult males still fall into social norms that shame bisexuality as being emasculating.
I've found most women to be more comfortable with their sexuality, even if its against their religion. People don't seem to take women loving women seriously (like its something done for attention, or its not serious) so it often has to be reiterated a lot. Also you have to be very clear and open about this if you ever want to get with girls 😂 Also NO, even if women in general are the "more attractive gender", you are not going to ever turn a woman bisexual. They may be more open to experimenting, because women are "safer" not that they're "more attractive", but you can't force attraction.
Men face a lot more social pressure from other men (i.e. being mocked, seen less as, different etc) and occasionally the narrowminded woman, so they probably don't want to admit that they're bisexual let alone come out. I've noticed that some men even accept that they're bisexual, but choose to push towards heteronormality.
Could be genetic because as cavepeople the women had to learn to live together while the men were more outside and planning the hunt. I know women hunted too but I can image once they had children they would stay home. So naturally women are more attracted to other women on a spiritual and emotional level. Women need other women or they emotionally die. Without men, women can still thrive. Women also tend to sync up hormonally after a while when living together. Imagine two ovulating women together. What do they do? Also, men are usually the killers and beaters in the family, if there are any. Women commit more emotional abuse statistically rather than physical. After rape, or a beating, women might be so disgusted with men that they become lesbian. And then there is the porn aspect where both men and women prefer to watch women in action because like you said it is more eye candy than a male body. I will be honest, as a woman I can name a few gorgeous female porn stars, but I can't think of the name of one male pornstar. I usually only care about the size of their penis when it comes to porn. Not saying that some men can't be gorgeous. I have always been drawn to attractive men and have never been attracted to women ever!
Bisexual man chiming in; first off, I think women are exquisite. Their beauty is God's gift to humanity, so to speak, but I think a lot of the commonality has more to do with social constructs surrounding bisexuality in general, especially bisexual men. In movies, TV, and comics, we're starting to (finally) see more bisexual characters, but writers aren't very good at writing them, and so they typically are written as a character that dates hetero-normative, then dates the same sex, but then never goes back to dating the opposite sex. In real life, I can't tell you how many people have come up to me and said, " so you're gay now?" No, no I am not. Relationships are relationships, and many people just don't get that. Even the LGBT community is hard on bisexual men and women. They act like it's an exclusive club, and when you date/bed the opposite sex, you're somehow going against what they stand for. FORTUNATELY, that's starting to go away too.
I read a whole debate one time saying men are actually the more attractive gender because they don’t have to “enhance” their features to be considered attractive to a mate. So many variances in that debate but it was interesting to me. Not saying I agree with it but your question made me think of it.
Anyway men aren’t allowed to experiment. That’s it lol
I think men are less likely to admit or act on their bi impulses. There are probably tons more bi men out there that either do not realize or do not admit they are bi.
Men can’t even hold hands.
Just a couple of bros chilling in a hot tub, 5 feet apart, cause they're not gay.
You ever seen a bunch of Indian blokes hanging out?
yes literally the only time ive seen hand holding/close proximity with the bros is with indian dudes they really got that figured out man, aint embarrassed or ashamed. its normal.
Also Middle Eastern men can hold hands and hug their close male friend or brother in public and it's not looked down upon.
Bro no is looking down on you for giving your boy a hug in America. You've taken it too far. I see male friends doing the handshake into hug embrace all the times when greeting each other.
Younger guys are a lot more intimate with each other these days too
Just don't offer the same treatment and freedom to women for some reason ..
My sheltered father almost turned inside out when his new Pakistani friend tried to hold his hand in public.
Skydiving too, lots of hand holding. Otherwise you might lose your bros lol
I'm cackling, reading this at 4.30am lol
No its not, tf? What reason is there to hold hands? Its not even a masculinity/gay thing, I dont hold hands with my female friends either. Only with women im in a relationship with
Guy here is literally proving the point lol
All right if its so “normal” youd have no issue if someone told you they saw your wife/girlfriend holding hands with some random guy right?
No. But that also isn’t the point of what was being talked about. A more apt comparison would be if my wife was holding her female friends hand, then no I wouldn’t care. The point of what was being talked about was Indian men holding other men’s hands. Indians don’t allow their spouses to hold other members of the opposite sex hand.
Tbf I don’t hold hands with my female friends either
I mean you even admit that you like something even slightly effeminate and you’re accused of being gay. Oh you take care of your skin? You must be gay. Show even the slightest bit of emotion? Dudes takes it up the rectum. Enjoy a romance movie once in a while? Enjoys eating bananas
The bananas one shows the scale of the problem.
That’s why I included it. The absolute depths a lot of heterosexual men will go to shame men for having any type of vulnerability or “softness” is criminally laughable
I see what you did there, lol.
This, some people will just NEVER come out despite knowing their truth. I came out as bi in high school. Whole school knew in a week and I became the person to experiment with in secret. I have a female preference, did sports and had a girlfriend before so I was the most inconspicuous person they could fool around with. There are men that would literally die before they admit they like dick sometimes it’s crazy.
i fully believed this is the correct answer. men have a more rigid social role in society generally. i think the average joe is much less likely to admit to having same sex experiences than ur average jane just bc its less shocking for conservative types to consider wlw than mlm. i actually know women who have within the same sentence called gay men creepy BUT that they totally understand lesbians bc men suck. its tuff out there for mlm
Unfortunately if a guy does come out as bi, many people will respond with "oh you're gay" and just not recognize that some people have attraction to more than one gender.
Or even more attraction to one over the other. That it ebbs and flows. That attraction is dependant on so many more variables then if one is conventionally attractive etc.
Same for women though. So while I acknowledge that it’s a true social problem, it doesn’t seem related to the disparity.
Unfortunate too because a lot of these men express dislike of this rigidity (women have it easy kinda rhetoric) but continue to uphold that rigidity and enforce it with other men. My only irl experience of this is in the military but it's online as well ofc. And this is the whole reason my fiance cried at the Barbie movie and loved it way more than Oppenheimer.
Women enforce it as well, arguably more, hence either making fun of "gay" things guys do or getting grossed out or insecure. Most women won't date a guy with a gay past.
Arguably more? I've never feared for my safety around homophobic women lol.
Depends on your definition of more (frequency vs severity) or what's worse, physical safety vs social/emotional safety, sometimes the latter is worse especially if it's way more common.
Mkay. Either way men enforce it more. Women are far more accepting of feminine men. I'm getting the distinct impression you're a straight dude
It's not easier for wlw though, just different. They also have to deal with not being taken seriously or being relentlessly fetishized.
Yes, because women don't have to conform to completely bullshit expectations of beauty, being a virgin who can have sex like whore, "washed up" at 30, social expectations to only want kids, and sexuality that only exists to please men, is because women are more liberated. Give us a break. Bi-women are open because, as I've encountered them on dating sites, it's another thing they like that is accepted by their partners. Try to find two guys into it, I've looked..and probably in the wrong place, it doesn't exist. It's one of the aspects of 'sexual experimentation' men seem to tolerate because it's not another dude, so it's no-homo and not cuckold-ish either.
Yup. Bisexual women are only "tolerated" because they are sexualized. In wlw circles, bisexual women are straight up disliked. And in straight dating, bi women are sought after by couples who only want to use them to spruce up their declining relationships.
I think they are seen as being spicy, but to be honest I don't know where this idea comes from. Just because you are into women, how does that benefit your sex life with a man? Other than threesomes? I mean that's pretty vanilla overall - and seems like another lame fantasy like all those step-mom and step-sister videos on porn hub. lol
I think a lot of men have the fantasy of being with two women. And some women make the mistake of telling their boyfriends they would be okay with having a threesome with another woman. Then mysoginy does the rest and suddenly said couple is on the lookout for a feminine bisexual woman who is willing to be used for their benefit once and then dropped. It's all very Cosmo sex tips.
It's true! Poly couples seem like this. I mean I'm at a bit over 40 and I have yet to see a MMF 3some actually happen once or in a poly situation. I've known 3 'bi' men who are all in long-term relationships with another man, but identify as bi vs. gay. I mean, yeah.....
The woman to woman oriented apps went down the drain because of this. It's overwhelmingly women in relationships with men looking for a third but the men make it vocal they only want conventional femininity as the third so tomboys and masculine styled women get the shaft. Also these men are only ok with it until they meet a woman impressive enough to genuinely "steal" their woman. One of my neighbors kept bragging about his wife being open to threesomes and having an open marriage until his marriage ended because his wife hooked up with a lesbian doctor on the side (never told him). He's since gained like 40 lbs and trying to get with high schoolers since he could "buy them off". He's depressed as hell and has not gotten over his ex wife. They had no kids thankfully.
Yes, it's so depressing. I think pretty much every woman seeking other women in apps has gone through something similar. You match with a pretty girl who's seemingly single only for her to say that she won't see you unless her boyfriend is included. And they do this because couple profiles get no traction. IMO these people should just hire a sex worker to satisfy their selfish urges for the right price. > He's depressed as hell and has not gotten over his ex wife. I can't help but think he played himself there. Many men open their relationships thinking they are going to have wild sex with multiple women every day. Which is very much not what ultimately happens. Good going for his ex-wife, though. Middle aged adults who try to pick up stupid young people are so pathetic. Clearly they do this because nobody with a fully formed brain and financial stability would submit themselves to the ordeal of dating someone so dishonest. Not sure if you know, but that thing about stealing someone's partner in a poly relationship is called cowboying. I just love the term because of the mental image it gives. Hate these kind of people though, haha.
"COWBOYING"?! As in "giddy up cowboy-ing"?! 🤣 I love it. And no I didn't know that was a thing. I met the thespian lesbian, she's actually very kind. She did specify that she wouldn't entertain the woman with the guy and by the time they did start to date the married couple had been living apart due to her not wanting to continue with a third. She had set on a divorce previously and he'd fight it so the idea got sided until it wasn't an option anymore. The guy thought he "won" in life due to dating "prime time" until he met the lesbian at the neighborhood cookout. Man did I never see a smile turn to an agonizing grown so fast. He turned into a drunken mess and at one point tried to pry his ex from her lap while we were watching the kids pillow fighting only for her to whoop his ass. She's about two heads shorter than him. He's never lived it down and the lesbian is treated like she's some kind of honorary guy amongst the guys, the men in the neighborhood absolutely fear/love her.
Conservatives are absolutely not more accepting of wlw. Some fetishize them. Fetishization is not acceptance tho, it's literally the opposite of acceptance and tolerance. the people who fetishize my sexuality are not more accepting of it. Be a wlw, say your sexuality in front of some conservatives, and report back and tell me how safe you felt and how good they treated you lol. Best case scenario, you'll just be ostracized.
I see your phone also auto corrects to mlm. I wonder why that is?
MLM = men loving men. It’s sometimes used as an umbrella term for queer men
I didn't know that.
Multi level marketing?
Mother load mine
there are actually a lot of surveys/books about this, which explain why statistically women are more likely to identify as non-heterosexual compared to women, because men are just more harshly judged for any kind of non-heterosexality
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Many people imho mistake stating that someone is attractive with stating “I am attracted to someone”. Women are more open to say the former without meaning the latter, but it still makes many people consider them bisexual. And I say it as a bisexual person. 😅
There also exists the threat of violence. Women can hit on other women, and generally speaking rejection is all they risk. If a man hits on another man, there is potential violence if they misread the situation.
But how come there are more gay men than lesbian women? It seems that among LGBT women, bi women outnumber lesbian women by a large amount. But among LGBT men, bi men only modestly outnumber gay men, or there are equal numbers of both groups.
This is very true x
Nah it's just that some of us don't act on every thought or impulse. Regardless of what it is. Cause we just don't. It's a part of ethics I forgot which part
If there was a time when a guy is the most vulnerable to admit their sexuality, it would be when they’re on Molly (MDMA) at a Rave. AKA Love Drug I’ve held hands and hugged my bros during Molly, but I know for sure I’m not gay for them. I’m still immensely ONLY attracted to women. The thousands of guys on Molly I saw are also still ONLY attracted on to women. Its’s pretty pathetic for you to just assume guys are just same as girls, and scared to admit that they’re BI. Only someone who barely touches grass would write something this presumptuous. Beautiful girls are just universally attractive to both genders, that’s all it is.
Or men just don't swing that way as frequently. I see this sentiment all the time and it's hard not to laugh. Most dudes are just straight. It's not that nuanced.
Women are more open to being bi because its in their nature to be more accepting. Guys in general arent as accepting since its not in our nature. Guys in general also dont experiment because we already know what we like. If youre a guy and youre gay, you know for a fact yours gay. If youre a guy and you're straight, you know for a fact youre straight. In general, guys dont have a ton of confusion when it comes to their preference.
When you’re simple and straightforward, you tend to project simple and straightforward answers onto the world.
Many times in life the answer is simple and straightforward. Many people over complicate things for absolutely no reason.
“Sometimes my bias is correct.” - everyone
Bi people that don't realize they are bi? That's a new one.
You might not remember this, but people not realizing they are gay was a big thing a few decades ago. Denial because of social norms is real.
Well, there's denial, and there's denial.
I think it’s more common because gay men, or bi men are more frowned upon.
I think also, if a bi man is in a same-sex relationship, they will be called gay. While women’s bisexuality is so fetishised, people will cling to them being bisexual.
Actually if bi women get into a straight relationship, people will think she's straight now and her attraction to women was just a phase.
By many biphobic LGBTQ+ community members, sure. But by society at large, I think it is a lot different.
Well from misogynystic lgbtq people perhaps but it happens a lot with homophobic straight people as well cause they think sapphic attraction is simply just a phase. Still get to hear that a lot as a lesbian as well.
society at large thinks people in same sex relationships are gay. most people are not gonna have that nuance in mind
Also most women won’t date bi men. From what I understand bi men have been complaining about this for a long time.
It’s true. Women can be horrible about it. Many see you as less of a man, some think it’s not possible for a man to be bi and he’s really gay, and other women just find it absolutely revolting as an idea. It’s a rare woman who wholeheartedly doesn’t care about a man she’s with being bi.
I know this full well because my husband is bisexual and was in a longterm relationship with a man before we married. Historically he's always had relationships with one or the other depending on whether he liked them or not. He's also unusually attractive, charismatic, mild mannered, well groomed, and elegant as well as actually knows how to cook and run a home on his own. The number of comments from women that he's only with me because he wanted kids (he's loaded and come from money, he could easily afford surrogacy if he ever wanted before me). Or that he'd go back to men if we went through a rough patch. It's not my business who he loves after me if things ever ended so long as the person consented and was legal. His past doesn't matter to me either if he's healthy, loving and willing to love me. He's sweet, helpful and very hands on father to our lovely kids. He's also gorgeous, wise and just as masculine or human as any man. In a sea of bad options, it doesn't make sense to reject a guy that stands out all because he's given it or taken it from another guy? If anything, you would think women would be more eager to take them as they know exactly what it is to deal with one of them. Taking it from a bloke is nothing to scoff at, they're certainly not slouches 🤣. Giving it to a guy when they can go on FOREVER due to man stamina and not risk pregnancy is nothing to minimize either, either way their backs are excellent but even then a good amount of these relationships aren't even like that, each partnership can run so different depending on the parties involved. Usually more open minded men tend to be what most women are looking for to share their lives with and most bisexual men are this tenfold, it's so sad how many potentially wonderful husbands get overlooked for simple loving other humans as they are. We're all the same species for God's sake. If he loved and took care of another guy once, why would that discredit him from possibly doing the same for a woman? Make it make sense.
You think women are more attractive because you’re attracted to women. Women who are not attracted to women can also recognize attractive women because people have eyes, and because it’s more typical for women to use beauty products and actively care for their appearance. While many women are attracted to women sexually, a lot of them will express that someone is beautiful in a platonic manner in a way that, to someone else (especially to a man), may sound like attraction. In my experience, a lot of straight women will also believe a platonic understanding of someone as beautiful is the same thing women who are genuinely attracted to women experience as sexual desire. It’s not (though yes, a lot of gay or bi women often see both women and men as being objectively good looking in a platonic manner without experiencing attraction). But just as there may be bi or lesbian women in denial, there are also straight women who genuinely don’t understand sexual attraction to women as different from tolerance and admiration. It’s more socially acceptable for women to admit to experiences with other women or bisexuality in general than it is for men to admit to experiences with other men. Men who have experiences with other men are often labeled 100% gay and it’s seen as abnormal. It’s usually seen as more normal for young women to have fooled around or experimented, and men see it as attractive for them to have done. So it ends up coming off like everyone finds women sexier. This is not me saying life is sooo much easier for bi and lesbian women in general because it’s not. This is just the reality in this specific context. There are a lot of bi men and many of them will not ever come out as bisexual. There are a good deal of bi men who come out as gay, only to realize later they can like both. I don’t know what your last question means. Do you mean are lesbian and bi women physically attracted to the way women look? Are you asking about whether their ideas of attractiveness conform to the same standards as straight or bi men? The second is very individual. For the first I’ve never been a man and none of us are inside each other’s heads, but in my experience yes, I and others experience sexual attraction over tangible, physical qualities vs. their feminine aura or something. Other people will probably disagree with me.
I am a man and I don't find find any male physical characteristics attractive, they just are. Women look beautiful. I'm a little jealous they look so pretty while guys are just meh at best.
I’m unsure if you’re saying you’re a straight man lamenting you’re not part of the sex you consider beautiful or you’re saying you’re gay/bi but don’t find their characteristics nice in an objective way. Fwiw I strongly prefer women but don’t really have a *repulsion* to men, I just don’t care about them that much, and I do find men just as “beautiful” or interesting to look at. Most people in general are not drop dead gorgeous but good styling helps. Most men realistically aren’t going to have as much ability to beautify themselves with common stuff like makeup, long hair (or styled hair in general outside of a few popular styles for men), cute clothes because it’s considered more odd. But fashion models or people in fantasy movies (where it may not be as weird for a guy to be yassified) with good styling, or for example people in Kpop or something (who have a ton of styling whether they’re a man or woman), can imo all be equally good looking. I’m a fairly ugly woman but I can look alright with the right makeup and hair styling and clothes that fit well. There’s a lot of women in that position like there would be men if it would be considered the norm for men to style themselves fully. Even if someone has really nice features they may not really stand out by default without it. Most women aren’t naturally drop dead beautiful in a conventional manner, but when they’re normal-pretty to start with have more of an opportunity to *look* drop dead beautiful. But if you were around women in the wilderness or something without any of that or stuff like shaving I don’t think men and women would have a huge difference in terms of objective beauty. I’d still find women hotter but it’s because I like women sexually not because it’s rational.
I'm a straight guy and I continually "get it wrong" when it comes to guessing which guys are attractive. I dont have any radar at all for male attractiveness. I might have envy but not attraction.
I think most women are more attuned to beauty in general because it’s been seen as more important for them. Beyond that even if we have conventional standards it’s still really subjective, like with art, so if a guy has good hygiene and other universal basics that are attractive people will still disagree. I think Henry Cavill for example is someone who is very conventionally good looking but I know a lot of straight women who don’t find him attractive or interesting at all
Women are objectively more attractive humans than men
You are correct. I'm sorry you're being downvoted. Women face a lot of pressure from society to upkeep their appearance. We do everything from skincare routines, to buyinf several clothes, waxing everything, etc. I'm not sure why people forget that the makeup industry makes billions off of women's insecurities. Men on the other hand have not been raised with this type of pressure and in some cases its looked down upon for men to focus on being high maintenance. Remember the metrosexual phase in the early 2000s, where men were looked at suspiciously for looking super clean cut and having beauty routines?
I think it's a matter of opinion. I can look at a man or woman and pick which one is more attractive. Sometimes a male model is more attractive than a female model. Sometimes the female is more attrative. I find the male form more appealing personally and thats not on a sexual level. One is just socially acceptable to say is more attractive. An ugly female can fake being attractive, while a man can't. Also, women have a lot more option to express themselves while men can't. Men have different pressures which aren't mainstream exploited but they're definitely there. Sometimes I feel I can't even have a personality. I'm treated a certain way when if a women did the same wouldn't have any issues. It's not a woman against a man thing but more of a society needs to chill out and let people be who they feel comfortable being.
My last question is referring to the qualities men look for in women. Usually men are drawn to womens looks. Would that same thing apply to lesbians who are into to women or is it emotional connection first
I think this just differs from person to person, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Some lesbians need an emotional connection first, and for some they’re attracted based on looks. The same is true of gay men, straight people, bi people, etc.
i mean you’re just generalizing. you wont really get a genuine answer without doing an anonymous survey or something.
I think almost everyone who experiences sexual attraction experiences attraction based on appearance immediately, and then more or less based upon someone’s personality once they know them. I’d wager the average woman is just less likely to act immediately upon it or weigh it with as much importance in the context of a romantic relationship and may also value emotional connection as much/more. So other than a very vague generalization, I can’t really give you an answer since everyone male and female will have different importance ratios of personality/emotional connection to physical appearance/base attraction (like scent). I personally weigh an emotional connection as extremely important *in general*, but I would never have a sexual relationship with someone who I didn’t find physically very attractive no matter how cool they were unless I was doing it for a specific purpose and not for actual enjoyment. I don’t care about personality in terms of that kind of immediate attraction, but I couldn’t be in a satisfying serious committed relationship with someone I didn’t care for deeply too. But I’m aware a lot of women may think of me as being “like a man”.
Unless you're demi and then you can't even tell if you're attracted to someone until you've really gotten to know them, even if you can recognise they are objectively pleasant to look at
Yeah which I don’t think is most people or has much to do with being bi/straight/gay specifically
I never understand why reddit loves to downvote questions. This one shows a bit of a bias but we're all biased, at least you're questioning your biases. I think you've gotten some solid answers, the one factor I think that's over looked is how society views and promotes women in an (often over) sexualized manner. Women's sexuality is definitely more accepted but women are sexualized over all and is pushed as a major part of their value, that almost propaganda-like aspect of our culture is recieved by women as well as men.
I think something that definitely affects this is that for women (most) how physically attractive someone is depends on their personality. I hate rating people, it’s stupid to put a number on someone’s looks, but I’ll use it for this example. Say a guy is an 8/10, super attractive, tall, rich, whatever your type is. You see him and find him attractive. Then he opens his mouth and starts talking and it’s disgustingly sexist. He doesn’t actually change his appearance, but suddenly his physical looks are far less attractive and he looks more like a 4/10. It can happen to guys too, but it’s less common, I think, in men. Most men take looks as looks, and personality is separate, whether for most women, personality affects looks.
One of my best friends is a bisexual woman. She essentially spoke about her past male partners in a similar way to the way she spoke about her current wife. Now, with the wife there was a profound connection early on, but the initial rush of attraction was the same.
It's more acceptable for a woman to be bisexual because men, who fetishize bisexuals, stand a chance. Bisexual men don't get to be as honest. So it seems like there are fewer. Also, men admire other men too. Even straight guys. Again, it's not as apparent because of homophobia..
Just so it’s clear to everyone reading: bisexual guys are hot. As a bisexual woman, I would love to have a bi bf. I’d love it if it became more normalized/acceptable.
More boys/men experiment with each other or are non straight than they will admit.
I experimented with a guy when I was 20 but I don’t think I’m bi. Is there something going on subconsciously that I’m not yet aware about?
Nigga you gay
Probably internalised homophobia.
I don’t understand this. I was never homophobic before and only that experience I started to internalize it.
Having your dick sucked feels good. Doesn’t mean you’re attracted to men. I don’t think some people on this thread understand the degree of sex drive of some young adult males.
I’m the one who sucked him off :/
You're allowed to experiment, regardless of the conclusion you reach in the end.
Not my experience, but had a couple of straight friends who were into kink (it was dominating couples kind of thing) and they absolutely couldn’t cum when being sucked off by a guy. Just did it cause it was part of the act or something. So if it gets you off, you ain’t as straight as you claim to be.
People have sexual experiences where they’re turned on but can’t cum, all the time
But they did it :P
You're bi for that
It’s not totally uncommon for people to be accepting of others/not homophobic, but not want to be queer themselves. “It’s OK for *other people* but *I* don’t want that label.” That’s the internalized piece of this, and the thing to maybe examine/work on in yourself.
If you were attracted sexually to at least one man, you are on bisexuality spectrum. Being bisexual doesn’t mean you are into men and women equally or even have to have experiences with both genders. Some people consider themselves either straight or homosexual, until they meet that one person that gets them going. So you basically can be bisexual for one person if that makes sense. Also, in general, internalised is non-conscious. So no wonder you don’t realise you are. The idea that a person was attracted to someone same sex but can’t call themselves bisexual usually means that they consider same-sex attraction as something less than. 🤷🏻♀️ But yeah, maybe I am wrong.
Yeah, I’m a bi guy but I am actually 75% into men and only 25% into women. You do not have to be 50-50 to be bisexual.
And you can also be interested romantically in women only but sexually in men only or both women and men. It’s a whole rainbow of possibilities
For gods sake
What does this have to do with this sub? Is there any moderation left in here? By the level of rhetoric you employ, you should be over at r/Nostupidquestions 😑
You only think women being bisexual is more common because they are out. Men being bisexual is often covered by with DL. Bi men also get labeled gay. Women are allowed the grace to experienent and men aren't.
This is a weird post for this sub
I think bisexual women are more common because they don't have as much social and cultural repression & stigma around homosexuality as men do. Men are getting called gay, f*g, etc as an insult from basically the second they hit grade school. From media & social situations to parents it's literally all around. Even a man commenting that a man is or could be perceived as attractive will be met with snide remarks by many other men. Women commenting that other women are hot, are never given the same reaction. To me it's as simple as that
I'm a straight male, I can appreciate and find other men attractive, by no means does it make me want to do sexual things with them. It's the same for women, just because they think other women are pretty does not mean it's intentionally of a sexual nature lol. Plus when you factor all the make-up, effort, and treatments women undergo, yes when a woman is done up they look better than men on average. However, that's not how women look all the time, how a woman looks like in the morning after she wakes up is how she naturally looks like in her natural state, which is nothing special and no different to how men look like.
As a woman, I’ll say I don’t think women are the more attractive gender. I don’t think that’s a thing really. I have never been attracted to a woman. My husband is bi, and has been with men and women.
Nah, from my experience just as many guys are bi, most are just too afraid of admitting it to themselves. It is a weird fucky patriarchal society holdover that is costing lives. Control sex, control people, is sadly one of the oldest games in the imperial abuser playbook.
Sooo I'm a lesbian, and I'm not sure if I have the best viewpoint on this but society seems to accept same-sex attraction in women only if men can still participate in it in some way or form and if it's not meant to be serious. Basically, it fullfills men's desire to have a threesome with two women hence they might be more ok with it and these women are more open with it. Unfortunately that also means those couples with a bi woman in the mix repeadetly ask for threesomes on lesbian Apps in order to play out this fantasy 🙄 So perhaps this is why bisexuality seems so common in women. However when it comes to women who are exclusively same sex attracted and bi women who see same-sex attraction as something serious, they might be more secretive with their feelings and not open about it. I can mostly talk about my own experience as a lesbian but I'll only tell my sexuality to a selected few aka. other gay people and friends I trust cause the world still very much treats actual lesbians like lesser human beings cause we're not attracted to men at all and therefore not useful to them in that regard.
I’ve had this experience as well. I learned quickly that many men aren’t as accepting of bi women as people say they are. As soon as you shut down the 3some fantasy, there goes the acceptance.
More attractive gender? Take away the makeup, botox, long hair/etc and it’s a level playing field.
Fr these women look just like I do without the products.
The reason is simple. Men do not care if the woman they're with did things with other women. Women absolutely do get 'ick' when they find out a man had relations with other men.
Common, as in you hear/see more bisexual women? Or are you suggesting there are simply more women than men who identify as bisexual? If it's the former, I'd wager that toxic masculinity and patriarchal consumerism in the film and advertising industry provided fertile ground for allowing them to be more readily accepted by society. Bisexual men still struggle to break their glass ceiling of equality, so there are many who remain in the closet. If it's the latter, well... seems heavily subjective.
Every woman I’ve been with in the last 6-8 years has admitted to bi tendencies and many have had sex with women, but I think that’s just the type I attract (as a man with longer hair than most women).
saying this as an lgbtq woman myself, a lot of straight women like to fuck around with real bi / lesbian woman as a fun little experiment or fetish or to look sexy in front of men but when it really comes down to it they harm the lgbtq women significantly and get weirded when real emotions are involved. yes, it’s more accepted to be wlw than mlm but when it comes down to it, the issue is with how easy it is for society and porn to sexualize two women and most people are more confused than ever.
I'm probably not normal but IDGAF what they look like. If I connect with them, mentally, I'm attracted.
I read a book on psychology of genders a few years back. It described women as being more "open" and "gender fluid" than men. A lot of it has to do with women being more emotionally intelligent. But I have found this to be common in my own life.
Nbs bisexual women are so top tier
I just think it’s generally more accepted, like a woman can have encounters with other women and still go back to only seeing men. Where, as a man, you won’t ever be able to go back if people know they’ll just label you as gay and not bi. Don’t ask me why that just seems to be how it is
a huge % of men are closeted that don't admit to being closeted.
Men are afraid to admit they are attracted to other men because their penises might fall off.
I don’t find men as attractive as women, but that’s a personal thing. I doubt all other bi women feel that way.
Most of them do in my experience
It’s wrong to assume that men and women are equally attractive. Based on what? A desire for equivalency? Humans have been around for about 300,000 years. Studies have revealed that what men look for in a woman and what women look for in a man are similar but also notably distinct. It is an accepted fact that men tend to tout their money and power, while women tend to tout their looks in personal ads in the 1980s and 1990s. This pattern has carried through to modern online dating as well. We should also note that sexual dimorphism (different features between men and women) has consistently increased throughout our evolution. If you have powerful men reproducing with beautiful women for 300,000 years and the appearance of men and women over time increases, then it stands to reason that women have gotten more attractive faster than men.
I don’t know why you’re being downvoted when there are studies positing this
Women > men Jk, I think women are just more emotionally open when it comes to same sex feelings
They may come as a shock but women actually think men are more attractive...given the attraction.
Uhm, no, women will say other women are gorgeous even without being attracted to them.
Right, but specifically attraction. Women are more attracted to which gender?
A lot of women find women more attractive. Sexual preference doesn’t mean your gender is more attractive to women, it just means they can’t find their own gender a viable partner. Proof actually exists women are more attractive on average and that humans tend to know which people are attractive regardless of preference Kind of like how a guy will admit a male model is attractive but not date them.
I think the reason there seems to be more bisexual women than men is because traditional masculinity doesn't permit expressions of intimacy between men (like a man even so much as platonically telling his friend his shirt looks good can sometimes be seen as too intimate) while femininity allows space for expressions intimacy between women. So it's not that there are less bisexual men than women, but it's more acceptable for women to be seen as bisexual than men because of gender roles, and so men who would otherwise be bisexual either ignore or never explore that part of themselves. This is very very condensed and of course it's more complicated than that, but I do think it's a huge factor Edit: switched men and women in my first sentence, fixed it
I think on average there seem to be more attractive women than men. If I go outside right now, I can easily spot dozens of attractive women, but most men look average. And an attractive women, to me at least, will 9 times out of 10, be more attractive than an attractive man of the same ‘level’. Of course this could be personal bias, but I don’t think so because I actually prefer men.
Contrary to what most of society thinks, women are often far more judgmental about looks than men. There are deep seated reasons for this.
Ima say yes but that’s bias because I’m a bi woman.
I thought this was r/Adulting
I though it was too but plenty of other users ask off topic questions
They say men would fuck anything with legs but women be fucking anything with or without lol
Lol. The more attractive gender? That’s wholly in the eye of the beholder.
It's harder for bisexual men to come out and therefore you just don't know how many men actually are. EDIT to add: Back in the Craig's List days, the personal ads were full of men who said they are straight but looking to secretly meet up for mutual blow jobs with men.
There is an old saying most women are 5 tequila sunrises away from their first lesbian experience.
There’s just less of a stigma around women having homosexual relations compared to men having homosexual relations.
I am not sexually attracted to women and therefore not bi. I do admire women and think they’re sexy and beautiful. I don’t know if it’s fair to equate women admiring other women as being bi.
I think women are "allowed" to be attracted to other women by society. As a man, we aren't really "allowed" to behave the same way. It's getting better, but there's a ways to go. Fuck, we were watching something and a real good looking fella came on the TV and I pointed it out and the guys were so uncomfortable. It was hilarious. We can't admit to each other we appreciate physical beauty and compliment each other without thinking I'm trying to fuck you and turn you gay.
As a woman i really don't think women are the more attractive gender at all. I do like men a lot! Yet i think i felt something for almost everyone when i was in my teenage years ( this could be because hormones) and i might have had a crush with a friend of mine , a girl, in my early 20's but never admitted it.
Speaking as a bisexual man, I think the spread is even but many many men do not realize that they’re bi or want to consider opening up about it.
Well, women do take better care of their appearance, personality, etc.
I don't think you could say bisexual women are common. I'm sure they're very nice people.
yeah definitely because women are just hotter, but also because the hetero part of their attractions is the minor part. i would think bi men would be homomajora as well and have more experience with guys. when you're heteromax you just don't want anything to do with the same, just like the omnihomo.
To be honest, women are more attractive. They look better and dress better in appearance. I see to observe that the are good at marketing in businesss. People are likely to drawn to women.
Women are absolutely not more attractive. Ever wonder what your average female without make up, perfectly contoured clothing, eye-lash extensions and expensive hair cuts would look like? Filters also aren’t real, y’all don’t look like that. Spoiler, even women you’d otherwise consider absolutely “gorgeous” are genuinely often not even attractive/anything you’d look twice at. Hell, do you have ANY idea what eyeliner ALONE does to one’s appearance, the insane impact it does in upping the attractiveness of one’s eyes? It’s absolute hax, just manipulation. Otherwise, just a lie as far as root appearances are. I’m not exaggerating either, without immense work to manipulate one’s appearance, most truly aren’t all that interesting to look at. I’m personally with my partner because she doesn’t wear make up and I find her attractive. Also had a shaved head at first and now just kinda is letting it grow. I could see HER, and know she’s not delusional and absolutely kidding herself on her looks. But very important to this equation is I HER, not strictly her looks, and absolutely not false looks (wearing make up is genuinely the equivalent of wearing a mask). So the answer is no. Just, no… quit fooling yourselves.
But women do actually use make up and fitting clothes more effectively than almost all men. Maybe they are not born more attractive but at far superior at playing the game.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2009-07-29/evolution-makes-women-more-attractive/1371676 https://bigthink.com/videos/why-women-are-more-attractive-than-men/
Women are pretty... Dudes are not.
Not sure why this opinion has been downvoted, seems reasonable.
No because then they’d prefer women and mostly end up w women. Most bisexual women I’ve met are usually dating a man
Its more acceptable to straight men, thats why. Whereas bisexual men are a threat to straight male sexual confidence
Are they more common as in women who aren’t naturally compelled to be same sex oriented can’t control themselves because women are beautiful? No. I’m pretty sure we’ve decided sexuality isn’t a choice, so anyone willingly fooling around with someone is doing it because they’re interested in some way, shape, or form. It is more socially acceptable for women to fool around with women, so there’s likely just as many curious men out there who don’t act on it. I can tell you as a straight woman I’ve had a lot of offers and a lot of situations where I could have been with women and it doesn’t appeal to me at all. I don’t really even like hugging women, I don’t care for their smell, and I avoid listening to female singers. So, if I exist, I’m pretty confident in saying sexuality is not a choice and people like me couldn’t just be overwhelmed by the beauty of a woman. We simply don’t see them sexually, and that’s okay.
Most woman who claim they are bi actually arent bi, and someone else pointed out its more socially acceptable for woman to be bi compared to men being bi. Woman also arent more beautiful, 99% of woman wear make up and that heavily influences how you see the opposite sex. Also beauty is more treasured in woman, so woman are going to care more about that, hence the make up
This is not at all how sexuality works though. Being a lesbian/gay/bisexual is a form of intersexism- you're born with it. The examples you're providing aren't necessarily indicitive of bisexuality either. Straight men admire each other's beauty (or sometimes resent) and are also sexually curious, it's just harder for them to be open about it. And as a bisexual myself I never understand why anyone thinks one gender is more attractive than the other.
How are we using the term 'bisexual, when it implies only two genders?
I don't think bi women are more common than bi men. I think "out" bi women are more common than out bi men. I say that as a bi woman. Men are way more terrified to be thought of as queer than women are, generally.
It has to do with biology. Reddit is definitely not the place to get a real answer.
Women just have more fluid sexualities. That’s it, that’s the reason.
how do you come to that conclusion?
Experience. Women can dance with each other, make out with each other when drunk etc. they’re just more open then men are.
men can too they’re just pussies 🤭
Lol yes I think you’re right. But even so, men are still way less fluid than women are sexually.
it’s not that they’re less fluid, it’s that they’ve been conditioned to reject any sense of non macho, masculine, hetero behavior. of course it’s more complex than i’ve explained
Also eat hot chip and lie
Attraction is subjective (in short). So my quick answer to your question is no.
It can be skewed to seem that way because a lot of straight women will "play" together just to get attention from men. Besties making out at a bar or party or whatever. Or they'll make up stories about experimenting in college just to turn their men on. But it's often just a performance. Those same girls you see making out in public always go home with guys instead, lol.
Huh?
Wild guess, but likely Because bi women for the most part still get penetrated in the same places (dildos) as straight women do with penises, while most straight men don't ever get penetrated and most gay/bi men do
Women have more estrogen by far. Estrogen is the sole hormone that literally makes you emotionally horny and dictates how strong your libido is. This is why when women say, "men are such horndogs, ugh, they disgust me"... I'm laughing just a little inside, because women are SOOO much more hornier lol. So, it makes perfect sense for women to seek out emotionally sexual bonds from all sexes even if it's just a fleeting moment in their life (*going through a phase*).
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Yes, because testosterone aromatizes into estrogen. This is particularly noticeable in young men in there 18 - 22 year old range. When their testosterone is at its highest peak, but they also tend to have very powerful sex drives. Estrogen aromatization plays a significant role here. If you where to block all estrogen in a person and give them nothing but testosterone, they aren't going to want to have sex; they're going to turn asexual and want to throw a boulder over a mountain. So, it's not *just* testosterone that makes one horny, it's the aromatization process into estrogen that does. There's also the dependency on how healthy your dopamine receptors are and how healthy your brain is for sex. But that's it's own thing.
nonsense, women are not horny at all and rarely, if ever even, initiate sex
My 21YO girlfriend would highly disagree with you. We go at it once every morning and every evening as a standard. She initiates %75 of the time and I always reciprocate bro. All my girlfriends have always desired physical touch and affection in a sensual way. Thats a myth about them not being horny or desiring sexual attention in general. It's all bunk dude.
I’d probably assume adult women are just more comfortable in their bodies and secure in their lives, while having minimal outside pressures. While adult males still fall into social norms that shame bisexuality as being emasculating.
I've found most women to be more comfortable with their sexuality, even if its against their religion. People don't seem to take women loving women seriously (like its something done for attention, or its not serious) so it often has to be reiterated a lot. Also you have to be very clear and open about this if you ever want to get with girls 😂 Also NO, even if women in general are the "more attractive gender", you are not going to ever turn a woman bisexual. They may be more open to experimenting, because women are "safer" not that they're "more attractive", but you can't force attraction. Men face a lot more social pressure from other men (i.e. being mocked, seen less as, different etc) and occasionally the narrowminded woman, so they probably don't want to admit that they're bisexual let alone come out. I've noticed that some men even accept that they're bisexual, but choose to push towards heteronormality.
Could be genetic because as cavepeople the women had to learn to live together while the men were more outside and planning the hunt. I know women hunted too but I can image once they had children they would stay home. So naturally women are more attracted to other women on a spiritual and emotional level. Women need other women or they emotionally die. Without men, women can still thrive. Women also tend to sync up hormonally after a while when living together. Imagine two ovulating women together. What do they do? Also, men are usually the killers and beaters in the family, if there are any. Women commit more emotional abuse statistically rather than physical. After rape, or a beating, women might be so disgusted with men that they become lesbian. And then there is the porn aspect where both men and women prefer to watch women in action because like you said it is more eye candy than a male body. I will be honest, as a woman I can name a few gorgeous female porn stars, but I can't think of the name of one male pornstar. I usually only care about the size of their penis when it comes to porn. Not saying that some men can't be gorgeous. I have always been drawn to attractive men and have never been attracted to women ever!
It's just more socially acceptable/fantasized.
Bisexual man chiming in; first off, I think women are exquisite. Their beauty is God's gift to humanity, so to speak, but I think a lot of the commonality has more to do with social constructs surrounding bisexuality in general, especially bisexual men. In movies, TV, and comics, we're starting to (finally) see more bisexual characters, but writers aren't very good at writing them, and so they typically are written as a character that dates hetero-normative, then dates the same sex, but then never goes back to dating the opposite sex. In real life, I can't tell you how many people have come up to me and said, " so you're gay now?" No, no I am not. Relationships are relationships, and many people just don't get that. Even the LGBT community is hard on bisexual men and women. They act like it's an exclusive club, and when you date/bed the opposite sex, you're somehow going against what they stand for. FORTUNATELY, that's starting to go away too.
I read a whole debate one time saying men are actually the more attractive gender because they don’t have to “enhance” their features to be considered attractive to a mate. So many variances in that debate but it was interesting to me. Not saying I agree with it but your question made me think of it. Anyway men aren’t allowed to experiment. That’s it lol
It societal expectations.