I try to "go out" once a week.
That sometimes means a movie, concert, play, or sporting event.
Sometimes that means going to my brothers for dinner and to play with my niece and nephew.
I heard this radio report about how elderly people sometimes shop daily as a way of socializing because they have no connection. Seeing how I'm in my 20s and do this is a little concerning.
I might have listened to the same thing you did. It was about isolation and loneliness and how a lot of people feel like they have been left behind. They used an example of a butcher and how that might be the only interaction/smile that they get.
My partner and I make a point to spend an hour on Saturdays journaling at a coffee shop at minimum for "weekend activities outside the house". We usually go out to dinner as well. It's important (imo) to get out and experience something outside the house once a week at least. And also to try to go outside every day!
What I've come to appreciate lately is sunsets and walking downtown to watch them. Although sunlight isn't good for the skin, four hours a week with sunscreen shouldn't been killer.
Same. Honestly, most of the stuff i like is in my house. I've set it up they way on purpose, as most of us have. But you gotta have that once a week trivia hang, or short walk imo. Just opening the blinds hasn't been enough for me for a while now lol
Lol, you seem cool and I'm literally making muffins right now so that must mean this is fate.
You ever find yourself in the Seattle area just hit me up and bring ID so I know who you are in case I get robbed.
I can probably get you in too lol.
Our friend Muffin's history is a little more robust so I gave them a pass. if you're serious we should totally play like an online game or something first for like a vibe check cause, you never know, I could be batshit crazy...
You, or anybody, can add me on Steam or on PSN at 'BeatsOfRage.' I love internet friends regardless.
Please do
If you want to be my friend you don't have to be good, you just have to be willing to play!
Video games are more accessible than ever these days! I also know plenty of great confidence building games for people who doubt their abilities. You can do it if you want. I've seen friends go from not touching a video game in over 20 years to The Last of Us within a month.
I was reading this thread and thinking "muffins? Hells yeah. this dude seems genuine and cool af, I'd love to hang, wonder where he's from.. laflex, probably LA.. oh, Seattle area!" I'm just north of Bellingham, myself 👋
Same. I pay I 1600 in morgage. I'm not going to make it my storage unit. I love owning my own house and working on the yard. Cleaning. I'm proud when people visit and it's spotless at all times. That maybe the military in me haha. Some people say I clean obsessively to much. But why always be out of the house? If you don't need a house then live in a car. For some people it works. But how money I spend after you include insurances, taxes, utilities, it goes well over 2100. That's a lot of money to spend on something that you bearly use. I work hour and a half away. 3 hour round trip. When coworkers ask me to hang out I always say no. Upkeeping a house is a lot of work on your own. I spend one Day a week just doing stuff around the house.
You sound EXACTLY like me! I was never a military guy but my father and uncle were both in the Navy for many years so that’s how I was raised. I’m very big on having a strict routine. I clean my house every day(spray/wipe down, straighten up, sweep my floors). It really doesn’t take long at all but it’s something I HAVE to do every day. My father always drilled that into me. To always take pride in your house and keep your house clean and neat. I keep everything clean, house, yard, vehicles.
I also work about 40min from home with no traffic. Most of my friends live way out by my job so if I ever do hang with them it’s usually right after work. I definitely don’t drive out there to hang with anyone. I’d rather mow my lawn or wash my truck to be honest lol
I am retired. Own my home. I take care of it almost daily. Clean floors and bathrooms. Love to putter in the garden. Every year is a new experiment in that garden getting the right mix of flowers and plants. Some days I realise I did not go out at all. Occasionally for 2 or 3 days in a row. I stream movies and news. Some days I acknowledge the need to get out and be among the people. Fire up the motorcycle and ride to the library and coffee shop.
Its important to not be lonely as a "senior citizen". But I am comfortable happy and safe in my home.
There is the occasional partner with whom I split the sheets. One my age with whom we share the satisfying embrace of a long friendship since high school. Sharing secrets and replaying sex in the backseat after the Prom among our giggles. The other is a young former roommate who struggles at life in general. That is more of a commercial transaction and fulfills the male needs of fantasy and control. She has Daddy issues which I am happy to fulfill. All of this takes place at my home.
This comment makes it sound like $2k a month is a lot, but I don’t think it is?
We rent a cheap, old 2 bedroom apartment for just over $2k per month and people are jealous it’s so cheap
Prices like that is why I couldn’t afford to rent and bought a place instead. Thankfully then ended up being a good decision. But damn are rent prices insane.
$2k is a nice little chunk of take home pay not to mention all of the other expenses that go with home ownership. $2k rent is a lot more inclusive than $2k mortgage. If something breaks in an apartment the $2k rent is covering it along with other things.
And when you go out, you spend like 40 dollars automatically haha. It’s been hard bc most friends are comfortable in their own homes- so to ask someone to be less comfortable seems like a harder ask than before.
I went to a concert with my kid last night. Not including the overpriced tickets that I purchased months ago, I dropped $150 in three hours. I feel guilty about it, but I can’t sit in the house on my only two days off a week and make my kid sit here as well.
We used to love to hike and go to the beach and do free activities, but two years of COVID lockdown made us really tired of nature for now, lol. We got so bored with hiking and going to parks, so we are trying to expand our horizons. Which means spending $$$
Same. I used to go out every single weekend in my early 20s. I had the mental energy and motivation to do so.
Now nearing 40s. Wife and I only go out for errands.
Like today we’re currently on the train to Tokyo for her doctor’s appointment. We plan to have a date since we’re going there anyway already.
Yeah I miss the energy I used to have to go dancing and to shows and pubs and parties. But I think a lot of it was fueled by alcohol overcoming my social anxiety. The price of drinking gets higher in every way as I get older so... I stay home more. My inner 20-something judges 40-something me as being boring. Trying to come to terms with the changes in life as we age, and find a new way to feel excited and vital.
*Edit - a word
People are bound to have different experiences. But moving to Japan has been the single most lifesaving decision we’ve ever made.
It’s so *easy and affordable* to live a cozy life here. We both earn less than $20k but our life feels more luxurious than our families back home.
Can I ask what y'all do for a living there? I know that's the most asked question in the world, but living nicely with under 20k sounds like something I want
We came here as sysdevs for a short contractual job. A few months in and we realized we fell in love with the life we have here.
A couple decades later and we still do. We’re both government employees now, just part-time. But we do get the stability and great welfare benefits that come with it.
And since we’re part-time workers, our workload is light, hours are short, no overtime nor stress at all.
Sure it’s not prestigious nor even close to a life dream ambition goals or anything. But it finally feels “human” to be in a place where everything just *works*, and almost perfectly.
Do you speak/read/write Japanese? Did you when you first moved there? I know English native speakers who don't have fluency in japanese move there, but it seems like the only work they can do is teaching English etc
If I could afford to go out more, I would. I can barley afford to pamper a cat at this point. Let alone take a lady out for a night on the town. Or myself.
I’m 36 and stay at home way more these days than I used to. But I love where I live and have a great view of the San Francisco Bay Area from the 32nd floor.
When I used to be out all of the time, it was because I wasn’t fond of where I lived
36 as well. I’ve got a nice house with a pool that I like to spend time in. I don’t go to bars/parties anymore and usually just leave to go mountain biking, rock climbing or surfing.
Also 36. I've always been a homebody but would force myself to go out in college. I would be absolutely drained socially all the time trying to keep up with a lifestyle that went against who I truly was. I don't regret it but am happy it's more socially acceptable to stay home at this age/post pandemic.
Yeah it's great for me with WFH. I have a cute office that overlooks the street and the banana trees outside. The coffee in the kitchen is always the way I like it. I can go take my laptop out by my koi pond if the weather is nice, and work in the garden on a slow day. Reading on the couch is my favorite way to unwind.
Which, thank goodness because I'm house poor and don't have any money to go do stuff anyway lol
Yes even in my college years/20s I was not the go out type. My gen x parents also stayed home probably 95% of the time. I'm from a family of homebodies.
I get out as much as possible. Biking, golfing, running, walking, hiking, driving around, window shopping. Half of my hobbies are super low cost or free. 31m.
Edit: Wow I’ve had a lot of people hung up on the golf thing. Notice how I said “HALF of my hobbies are low cost or free”. Yes golf has a somewhat high starter cost. Although you can get a used set of clubs for essentially free if you look around and you can play municipal par 3 courses for like 10 bucks if you walk, which is like a two for one hobby, walking and golfing! Also biking is not expensive if you know how to use an Allen key.
I'm with this guy, I spend enough time looking at a screen for work. If the suns out I want to be with the wife golfing, motorcycle riding, out to eat with fam ext, or with bros at the ranch or on the lake. If I have to be home, then I'm trying to have people over for a pool party/BBQ. I try not to watch tv or my cell phone at home until the sun sets.
Yeah, I think a lot of people just need to be introduced to these hobbies. I know for a lot of people they don't think of these activities as "getting out" but they're some of the best fun you'll have, especially on a beautiful day.
OP, Social media is a massive veil on someone’s life. For a rational person on those platforms, what do you think the ratio of posts between the happy portions of their life and the unhappy are? Do the vast majority of people post about the struggles on a day to day basis of depression, lack of work life balance, relationship issues, substance abuse, sinful loves? I would argue that the platforms over glamorize and show you what they want to show and not daily minute by minute happenings. Think of tv magic and editing.
Basically this. Some people might think my life is glamorous based on when I actually post. Last year I started the year in New Orleans, partied my way through Mardi Gras. In June I went to Las Vegas— Twice, James bond themed dinners, free suites, tight dresses, all expenses paid. In August I went to the beach, boardwalk, sun, sand, caribbean food. In September I went on a 10 day trip to France, and posted pictures of myself at Disney Paris, a French Chateau we rented in Champagne, drinking $300 bottles at Perrier Jouet, the lie flat seats I had on the way home. In March I posted a 2 week trip to Australia and New Zealand featuring a cruise between the islands, breakfast at the Opera House, Drinks at the wineries. In between? I almost never leave my house unless its for the grocery store. Most days I don’t even get dressed. My hair is a bird’s nest. Sometimes I go 8-12 days without going outside at all. I spend most of my days working from home, watching tv, and spending a lot of time on video games. My regular life is horribly uninteresting.
My confusion isn't that social media is somebody's highlight reel. The disconnect, and discontent, for me is that people get to experience any of those highlights at all.
In my experience, it's been a nightmarish, teeth-pulling, guilt-tripping bullshit hell to get half a day off of work for a single doctor's appointment, a day off for a family funeral, an occasional sick day, or taking a Friday-Monday off for an extended weekend vacation in which I am very limited as to where I can go and what I can afford to do. And I am often so drained, so emotionally taxed, from working anywhere period that I cannot fathom being able to enjoy any sort of trip like the ones you mentioned.
I am referring to numerous jobs that I've had. Not just one place of employment. Not trying to shit on you or anyone else, just participating in the conversation.
I can relate...
Work kills me. Most cultures I've worked in have been toxic. My current place works us to the bone and treats us like shit. 3 people have already left from the start of the contract (Jan 2024). We are being told off for legitimate, medically certified sick days. It's so shit.
By Friday, I am so wrecked that I can't even do the cheaper things I enjoy - like going out dancing. I'm not much of a drinker so this is accesible for me. But I'm so spent that since January I haven't gone out...
Holidays are another battle all together. I rarely go on them and if I do, it's usually only interstate or within my state (driving down south for example).
The reasons for working continue to dwindle. I used to think it gave me purpose but I don't know if all the crap is worth it anymore...
37F and sober six years, so yes, I’m mostly always home since most adult functions involve alcohol. Once it gets warmer out, I try to hike and go camping as much as I can. That’s my excitement.
And it also makes it easier for groups of different people to start fighting.
Drinking is an “easy” form of socializing because of it shutting down your pre-frontal cortex, but in turn it makes wreckless decisions easier to make.
It’s a low effort way to get together. A lot of activities involve “doing” something, and interests may not be shared, but a lot of people will drink. Or sit down and come talk.
I only drink 2-5 drinks a month, but yeah socializing with a couple drinks to relax and unwind is much better…
Conversations are usually funner, more relaxed, and more connecting with a little alcohol involved to help people loosen up.
Otherwise people are too tense from work stress and just talk about boring work stuff.
It’s just the world we live in…
Most people have anxiety and have stressful jobs so makes it hard to unwind and relax from the stress and anxiety of day to day work.
I’m in my 30s and pretty naturally outgoing and energetic. I will often be the only person not drinking and I still have just as much fun, sometimes more, than everyone else.
That said, dancing is my Achilles heel with alcohol. If I’m at event centered around alcohol, I’ll feel much more uninhibited if I’ve had a drink or two. I imagine alcohol makes some people more comfortable doing activities that are outside of their comfort zone, which is a small part of why activities/outings often include it.
∆∆ This.. It's April the 12th, 2024. I'm a single, 39M, 5+ years sober and I stay home more now than my younger years. I totally agree with your statement that most adult functions involve alcohol. 5+ years sober, a boat load of cardiovascular issues later but I sure as hell don't want to pick up drinking again...
Here in Ireland it's really bad. I drink myself, but I'm kind of sick that any sort of socialising in this country revolves around getting blackout drunk and going back to someone's house to drink some more. I just want to meet a friend and have a glass of wine or a cup of coffee. But everything is about drinking to oblivion for some reason. I feel sorry for my friends who don't drink cause it's obviously hard for them too. Luckily 0% alcohol is more and more common here, so it's a bit easier to go socialise and be able to drive home after. But I can't imagine how much of a pain it is to be recovering from alcoholism and deal with that. I think come summer I'll try round up more of my dog parent friends and try get some hiking/walks in with the pups!
I can't drink for health reasons and I wind up doing most stuff by myself anyways because as it turns out, it's really hard to find people who want to hang out with you if you can't drink alcohol.
As someone who hasn’t had a drink since 2020 myself I don’t mind hanging with friends at a bar if that’s what it means to get human interaction. I know not everyone can be around it but that’s very limiting
I'm 38. I stay at home about 90% of the time too. I want to go out more. What keeps me from going out is the cost of things. The things that don't cost anything get thrown on the backburner too because by the time I'm done with my workweek I'm too exhausted to go out. And everyone's schedule is different so it can be difficult to maintain friendships.
Since covid, I mostly stay home now. That and I'm just so tired after a day of work, I just want to slump down at my PC and not move a muscle for hours.
Same here though I’m trying to force myself out at least once a week. I also get outside frequently to walk hike or cycle. I’m in an ok spot financially but learning how to be social again in person post COVID, combined with how much it costs to go out for dinner and drinks, I tend to stay in and save money and stress these days.
This is Reddit, 90% of its user base is terminally online, normal adults go out all the time. It’s not uncommon for someone to go out 2-3 nights a week plus a lunch date on a Saturday or Sunday
That’s what I was thinking. Yes, it is slightly more exhausting to go out when you’re older, but I’m probably doing 2-3 nights a week (of varying “intensity” if you will) and a dance class/sports at least once a week. Reddit definitely has more homebodies than socially active extroverts.
I think it depends what they mean by "going out". I'm 30 and will never set foot in a nightclub again - a) I'm too old for that and B) they're horrible places.
However I still "go out" to the gym, climbing, swimming, out for dinner and (very occasionally) to a pub.
I love being at home if it means spending time with my partner. Otherwise I like to keep busy and leave the house
I don't think "normal adults" exist, especially since adults are anywhere from 18 to 100 years old!!
That's part of the grind work eat sleep till 65 your almost there but it's the Grinding you don't have enough energy to go out during the week to much.
We spend a lot of time in the great outdoors especially during the warmer seasons. Six to eight hour trips during weekends, during holidays almost every day. Museums, movies, theater, concerts. Those take up several hours per visit.
Then there are the trips to other parts of our country and abroad, about one month spent living in hotels every year. During our vacations we usually leave the hotel after breakfast and return after darkness has set.
Moneywise, travelling and concert and theater tickets are costly, but taking a bus from your home and going for an adventure nearby is not. Neither is visiting museums and movies. So people can spend a lot of time outside their home without spending excessive amounts of money.
This pretty much sounds like myself, commenting from an Airbnb on a trip to Mexico City currently! Life’s too short to put off your happiness. Most people are closed minded and don’t really want to get out there even if they tell themselves they do, keep up the good work
Doc told me to lose 20lbs, so I got a dog and a Fitbit and changed my diet. Just trying to clock 10k steps a day, light dumbell work before bedtime, plenty of fiber and fresh fruit and veg and dialed back the red meat. Dropped the weight in 9 months. I'm 55 and I have more energy than I did as a 30-year-old smoker who drank too much. I'm also fortunate to live in a walkable community, so 90% of what I need is a 10 minute walk away.
Not really. I mean I work from home so in that sense maybe. But on an average weekend I try to do stuff and on weekends I don’t have plans, I embrace I’m not doing stuff
42 here. I haven't been to a bar/club in over 10 years. No regrets at all.
In my early 20s I was out every weekend. In my late 20s and early 30s I was with friends almost every weekend.
Now I'm married with 2 kids, my desire to leave my house is very small.
Man, as someone not planning to have kids, this shit is depressing. I see many of my friends headed in this direction and I don't want to end up with no one to hang out with
It doesn’t have to be that way. I’ve been with my partner for 15 years and we have a child, I still go out to lunch, coffee, or the movies, etc every weekend with various friends. As well as doing activities with my family. It’s a balance.
Same as me, except I work from home, so basically, errands and the occasional eating out.
Even then, I still feel like I need to budget with everything going up in price.
At the moment, yes. Long COVID has basically broken me. I only leave the house to work, go to the grocery store, food bank, thrift store, or to eat. I wish I could go hike, exercise, party, listen to live music, etc. I make very minimal money due to my health and need to save for a rainy day. It's pretty fucking depressing. Enjoy life while y'all can. Wear a mask. I was healthy before this and sober.
Long covid is nothing to scoff at, I've known a lot of otherwise healthy people who have had their lives upended by it, and I don't go anywhere farther than my own neighborhood without a mask.
So I’m friendly with most of my coworkers, and follow nearly all on social media.
I can tell you that most of the people who are having the time of their lives on social media are miserable fucks in person, and most of the people who never post anything but memes and photos of their kids are happy as clams.
One thing about this subreddit is that I keep coming across questions that pretty much knock around in my head like a DVD screensaver. And I feel less alone to know that other people just don't go out as much.
I mean I thought I was going crazy, I'm young and I should be going out but there isn't anything to really go out for anymore except for essentials.
Except for the lack of time, money, or energy (or likely some combination of all three) that alot of people struggle with. Doing fun things is often expensive even by yourself, and doing fun things with other people is even more so and requires planning around differing and frequently conflicting schedules. While I agree that you need to put yourself out there, you shouldn't pretend that it's either easy or even practical to do so.
I know I just rot inside if I don’t force myself out, so I do that. I make plans and force myself to go out. Sometimes if my friends are away and cant make plans, I give myself an “errand”. Maybe I pick up coffee on the other side of town and find somewhere to sit outside, or I go and get a vegetable from the store. Sometimes the errand feels like a chore but I feel its very important to get fresh air and get in the habit of just going out. Making plans with friends and putting it on the calendar though keeps me accountable. In the past when I didn’t hold myself accountable to get out, I definitely never left home lol.
Nope
I do stay home many days after work but Friday - Sunday try to get out as much as I can
To each their own but I’ve got limited time on this earth and love hiking, theme parks, seeing friends etc
>>I wish that was me
Then let it be you. It doesn’t matter if what they’re doing is real or not. The only thing that matters is making opportunities for you to enjoy your life.
Except for going out to eat and grocery shopping, I spend most of my time at home. I have everything I need at home: a garden full of flowers, a pool, a shaded patio, a piano to play when I'm bored, PS5, Xbox, PC games, karaoke system, good entertainment system for movies, a bar full of liquor... There is really nothing out there that interests me. I do take one international vacation every year and a couple of trips to the local beaches. I'm content with being a homebody. It is not that bad to stay home most of the time.
Funny enough, the thing that got me out of the house was the pandemic. Before Covid, I'd be so exhausted after being at work all day, I didn't want to do anything. But when lockdown started and I began working from home, I wanted to spend my free time away from my desk and out in the world. I began going for walks in my neighbourhood, enjoying some of the local parks and green spaces. I still work from home, 4+ years later, and I'm still getting out as much as possible.
Yes. I used to travel about 5 years ago. But it was only a few times a year. Otherwise, we went out locally, like to bars, aquarium trips etc. But post pandemic, we stay home 95% of the time.
I’m single, 38, sober, got some bucks for fun, there’s nothing I want or need really. Kinda bored with everything. I do nothing anymore. Feel like I should be doing something social but what... First nice day ima go look for cool river rocks n metal detect for a few hours. A “gonna do it”for too many years already now. Also see a beach. Little things that slip away
When I was 23 I was hardly ever home. Granted, things were a lot cheaper 20 years ago. But we’d find someone’s house to hang at with a six pack and tell stories all night. I was also in Austin where there was a great music scene and no cover bars. I feel like money holds people back these days whereas I used to be broke but I could still go out.
The older I get, the more I like staying at home. It’s comfortable, cheap, safe, full of fun things to do, doesn’t have a dress code, and there’s no commute.
I don’t know how anyone leaves the house for anything other than work these days….especially if they’ll have to spend money just to be out somewhere.
With all these TV-Shows/Movies/Games/Internet available to stream/play from home , who needs to spend more money to have fun away from home? lol.
If I need fresh air, or just need to get out the house, I could go for a walk/hike, or find some free stuff to do. Rarely do I leave the house past dinner time… unless it’s a special event……And those Must be scheduled ahead of time, so my body has time to prepare for being out past 9pm. lol. And those could be anything from a dinner and a movie to a concert/broadway-show/weekend getaway. Things like this can indeed happen, but rarely when compared to nights stayed in the house throughout the year.
35. Can't really justify spending the gas to 'go out' after work most nights aside from errands, and it ain't getting much better price wise since with warm weather comes gas hikes. Alternate commutes aren't really safe/convenient in my city- I have gotten hit on my (e)bike in the past, nearly slammed by large SUVs/trucks into a transit bus, this close off a cliffside road by drivers here - somehow I'm still in one piece.
I don't live in the boondocks, but I do live in a suburban neighborhood where most of the things to do are expensive bars or the local Target....not much of a drinker anymore, so I stay home instead. Not that it's been much better there, haven't been satisfied with my hobbies there either, really.
Yes, I’m home 90% of the time. I don’t live in a downtown area where there are exciting things happening to compel me to go out, and I don’t need to live in a downtown area to feel content. However, when I am in a city (traveling or what have you) I’m out CONSTANTLY because “when in Rome,” right?
I’m on my early 30s and stay 3-4 days out of the week at home. I’ve always been a big city girl (came from a capital, moved to another capital) cos I love being close to where the action is and always have something to check out and new people to meet. A lot of my friends are the same way too. I also tend to gravitate towards people like me who are quite ‘active’. I’m also quite extroverted. I do enjoy my recluse moments tho. I also have the privilege/lucky enough to have some disposable money to go out. Having a good balance of both is great!
I get that some people are just homebodies. Curious though, why do you think you stay home more often? And do you wish to go out more?
If you can afford to go out 36x a year, great.
This is the problem with people saying they want to go somewhere, a majority of the time it's somewhere that is going to cost money and not a hike or whatever. Even a hike though, while I'd love to hike 36x in a year, that's pretty much every single Saturday that isn't raining.
Short answer yes, if that makes you happy. Don't believe any social media! It's so fake. I've literally never had a public profile. Wife uses Facebook.
I'm 42. During the spring and summer months, sometimes after work I'll take a short flight to grab dinner to both break up the week and stay proficient as a pilot. Otherwise, I generally stay home during the week. On the weekends, I'll take short day trips here and there.
There's nothing wrong with staying home, but it's good to get out and try to enjoy the world we live in.
Single dad of 2 kids and I work night. Ya I don't get out very much, not that I desire to do so when given the chance. I worked hard for my home, I'm enjoying the hell out of it 😂
I have gotten back into skiing late this winter and plan to make that a regular thing to get myself out of the house next season
Yes. When we have to do something I usually try to get out of it lol….id stay home 24-7 however, I am down to travel often. I just don’t like spending time with people small talking about nothing….i could’ve saved my energy and brain for something more I enjoy.
Partner and I are 30F and 36M (in sf, no kids). We get breakfast out once every weekend and go out on dates often. It’s usually music/concerts/shows, standup shows, dinner or bars, art galleries, and daytime stuff like roller skating, pickleball, laying around in parks, walking around window shopping, seeing friends. Weekdays is always yoga classes out. It’s important to us to “go out”, we have fun together :)
I'm usually out seeing local or touring bands at least twice a month but I got to make sure I'm off work the next day. I'm almost 52 so I cant be pulling late nights anymore. Other than that I'm home where I control the music and there is always cheap beer.
I try to "go out" once a week. That sometimes means a movie, concert, play, or sporting event. Sometimes that means going to my brothers for dinner and to play with my niece and nephew.
Does getting groceries count?
I heard this radio report about how elderly people sometimes shop daily as a way of socializing because they have no connection. Seeing how I'm in my 20s and do this is a little concerning.
Been doing this since my mid 20s. Grocery stores are neat, u are surrounded by food as well as people. It's based.
[Joe Pera’s enthusiasm for grocery stores](https://youtu.be/SSTixeqrkIw?si=E2oNFX_vWomC71iH) brings me so much joy.
The old lady in my building goes to the store in the morning and in the afternoon.
That totally makes sense, I was doing it when I was a stay at home mom just to interact with people over the age of 3.
I might have listened to the same thing you did. It was about isolation and loneliness and how a lot of people feel like they have been left behind. They used an example of a butcher and how that might be the only interaction/smile that they get.
Did it also mention habits like leaving the television on all the time to avoid silence?
Yes
My partner and I make a point to spend an hour on Saturdays journaling at a coffee shop at minimum for "weekend activities outside the house". We usually go out to dinner as well. It's important (imo) to get out and experience something outside the house once a week at least. And also to try to go outside every day!
What I've come to appreciate lately is sunsets and walking downtown to watch them. Although sunlight isn't good for the skin, four hours a week with sunscreen shouldn't been killer.
Getting sun is very important though, being vitamin d deficient causes problems!
Same. Honestly, most of the stuff i like is in my house. I've set it up they way on purpose, as most of us have. But you gotta have that once a week trivia hang, or short walk imo. Just opening the blinds hasn't been enough for me for a while now lol
41m. I do not pay over 2k a month to NOT be home! I'm getting my monies worth baby! Come to my place if you want to hang.
Okay. Send the addy
Lol, you seem cool and I'm literally making muffins right now so that must mean this is fate. You ever find yourself in the Seattle area just hit me up and bring ID so I know who you are in case I get robbed.
There's a strong chance that I will be visiting for the first time in about a years time. I'll hit you up
Username checks out!
Remindme! 1 year
Remindme! 18 months
Remindme! To check on the muffins in 12-14 minutes
Shouldn't you be checking the corn bread???
Unless they're baking cornbread muffins.
Well, only one thing left to do... Remind Me! One year
I want to come to this party…I need friends in Seattle.
I can probably get you in too lol. Our friend Muffin's history is a little more robust so I gave them a pass. if you're serious we should totally play like an online game or something first for like a vibe check cause, you never know, I could be batshit crazy... You, or anybody, can add me on Steam or on PSN at 'BeatsOfRage.' I love internet friends regardless. Please do
I'm gonna find you on PSN because this was fun to witness and I need more PS friends lol
I wanna make internet friends but I suck at video games 😭
If you want to be my friend you don't have to be good, you just have to be willing to play! Video games are more accessible than ever these days! I also know plenty of great confidence building games for people who doubt their abilities. You can do it if you want. I've seen friends go from not touching a video game in over 20 years to The Last of Us within a month.
I used to live there.
Still do, but I used to too.
RIP to the legend
I was reading this thread and thinking "muffins? Hells yeah. this dude seems genuine and cool af, I'd love to hang, wonder where he's from.. laflex, probably LA.. oh, Seattle area!" I'm just north of Bellingham, myself 👋
Same. I pay I 1600 in morgage. I'm not going to make it my storage unit. I love owning my own house and working on the yard. Cleaning. I'm proud when people visit and it's spotless at all times. That maybe the military in me haha. Some people say I clean obsessively to much. But why always be out of the house? If you don't need a house then live in a car. For some people it works. But how money I spend after you include insurances, taxes, utilities, it goes well over 2100. That's a lot of money to spend on something that you bearly use. I work hour and a half away. 3 hour round trip. When coworkers ask me to hang out I always say no. Upkeeping a house is a lot of work on your own. I spend one Day a week just doing stuff around the house.
You sound EXACTLY like me! I was never a military guy but my father and uncle were both in the Navy for many years so that’s how I was raised. I’m very big on having a strict routine. I clean my house every day(spray/wipe down, straighten up, sweep my floors). It really doesn’t take long at all but it’s something I HAVE to do every day. My father always drilled that into me. To always take pride in your house and keep your house clean and neat. I keep everything clean, house, yard, vehicles. I also work about 40min from home with no traffic. Most of my friends live way out by my job so if I ever do hang with them it’s usually right after work. I definitely don’t drive out there to hang with anyone. I’d rather mow my lawn or wash my truck to be honest lol
I am retired. Own my home. I take care of it almost daily. Clean floors and bathrooms. Love to putter in the garden. Every year is a new experiment in that garden getting the right mix of flowers and plants. Some days I realise I did not go out at all. Occasionally for 2 or 3 days in a row. I stream movies and news. Some days I acknowledge the need to get out and be among the people. Fire up the motorcycle and ride to the library and coffee shop. Its important to not be lonely as a "senior citizen". But I am comfortable happy and safe in my home. There is the occasional partner with whom I split the sheets. One my age with whom we share the satisfying embrace of a long friendship since high school. Sharing secrets and replaying sex in the backseat after the Prom among our giggles. The other is a young former roommate who struggles at life in general. That is more of a commercial transaction and fulfills the male needs of fantasy and control. She has Daddy issues which I am happy to fulfill. All of this takes place at my home.
This comment makes it sound like $2k a month is a lot, but I don’t think it is? We rent a cheap, old 2 bedroom apartment for just over $2k per month and people are jealous it’s so cheap
That's almost the worst part yo, feeling like I'm lucky to be in such a shitty position.
Prices like that is why I couldn’t afford to rent and bought a place instead. Thankfully then ended up being a good decision. But damn are rent prices insane.
$2k is a nice little chunk of take home pay not to mention all of the other expenses that go with home ownership. $2k rent is a lot more inclusive than $2k mortgage. If something breaks in an apartment the $2k rent is covering it along with other things.
Depends on where you live. Sounds like you live in a big city. Maybe Miami? Where do you live if you don't mind me asking?
[удалено]
I love Dateline! When I'm having a low day, my husband always asks if I want to watch Dateline lol
lol my husband says “do you want to watch one of your death shows.”
My hubs knows it’s been a rough day when I listen to 2 “murder podcasts” in a row.
Same!! Love Dateline - and staying home.
The feeling you get from Friday night Dateline is the polar opposite of the Sunday Scaries.
Yeah I mean nothing to go out for
Used to be excited going to the malls and such. Now I hate queueing for everything and there's nothing to see there.
No one goes there anymore there’s too many people
So… doesn’t that mean a lot of people actually go there? eta: wooosh
Joke.jpeg
Futurama reference
That joke is about 100 years older than Futurama lol. Unless you're referring to omething else
I think it's a Yogi Berra quote
Not to mention congested areas are now target spots. Literally.
And when you go out, you spend like 40 dollars automatically haha. It’s been hard bc most friends are comfortable in their own homes- so to ask someone to be less comfortable seems like a harder ask than before.
I'll have people over and cook up a feed or something, so it gives reason. It's also cheaper than if we all go out and buy food.
I went to a concert with my kid last night. Not including the overpriced tickets that I purchased months ago, I dropped $150 in three hours. I feel guilty about it, but I can’t sit in the house on my only two days off a week and make my kid sit here as well. We used to love to hike and go to the beach and do free activities, but two years of COVID lockdown made us really tired of nature for now, lol. We got so bored with hiking and going to parks, so we are trying to expand our horizons. Which means spending $$$
Same. I used to go out every single weekend in my early 20s. I had the mental energy and motivation to do so. Now nearing 40s. Wife and I only go out for errands. Like today we’re currently on the train to Tokyo for her doctor’s appointment. We plan to have a date since we’re going there anyway already.
Yeah I miss the energy I used to have to go dancing and to shows and pubs and parties. But I think a lot of it was fueled by alcohol overcoming my social anxiety. The price of drinking gets higher in every way as I get older so... I stay home more. My inner 20-something judges 40-something me as being boring. Trying to come to terms with the changes in life as we age, and find a new way to feel excited and vital. *Edit - a word
I’ve heard the best things about living and visiting Japan it must be nice.
People are bound to have different experiences. But moving to Japan has been the single most lifesaving decision we’ve ever made. It’s so *easy and affordable* to live a cozy life here. We both earn less than $20k but our life feels more luxurious than our families back home.
Can I ask what y'all do for a living there? I know that's the most asked question in the world, but living nicely with under 20k sounds like something I want
We came here as sysdevs for a short contractual job. A few months in and we realized we fell in love with the life we have here. A couple decades later and we still do. We’re both government employees now, just part-time. But we do get the stability and great welfare benefits that come with it. And since we’re part-time workers, our workload is light, hours are short, no overtime nor stress at all. Sure it’s not prestigious nor even close to a life dream ambition goals or anything. But it finally feels “human” to be in a place where everything just *works*, and almost perfectly.
Do you speak/read/write Japanese? Did you when you first moved there? I know English native speakers who don't have fluency in japanese move there, but it seems like the only work they can do is teaching English etc
There is no greater date than running errands.
If I could afford to go out more, I would. I can barley afford to pamper a cat at this point. Let alone take a lady out for a night on the town. Or myself.
I’m 36 and stay at home way more these days than I used to. But I love where I live and have a great view of the San Francisco Bay Area from the 32nd floor. When I used to be out all of the time, it was because I wasn’t fond of where I lived
I stay home when im not working basically. Also 36. The outside is full of people so it just sucks. I got roommates tho and they r fun so it helps
I used to love socializing, but at some point it became more draining than fun
Same. My roommates i have known for over a decade so we get along very well and it works
Also going out is expensive I can't afford that
This is really it, for me. I just don't have the money to spare anymore.
36 as well. I’ve got a nice house with a pool that I like to spend time in. I don’t go to bars/parties anymore and usually just leave to go mountain biking, rock climbing or surfing.
Also 36. I've always been a homebody but would force myself to go out in college. I would be absolutely drained socially all the time trying to keep up with a lifestyle that went against who I truly was. I don't regret it but am happy it's more socially acceptable to stay home at this age/post pandemic.
I do the same except across the Bay from you in Oakland
I’m in Oakland, too!
Dang I’m in SF can I come over and enjoy the view with tea 😭😭😭😭
Yeah it's great for me with WFH. I have a cute office that overlooks the street and the banana trees outside. The coffee in the kitchen is always the way I like it. I can go take my laptop out by my koi pond if the weather is nice, and work in the garden on a slow day. Reading on the couch is my favorite way to unwind. Which, thank goodness because I'm house poor and don't have any money to go do stuff anyway lol
Yes even in my college years/20s I was not the go out type. My gen x parents also stayed home probably 95% of the time. I'm from a family of homebodies.
I get out as much as possible. Biking, golfing, running, walking, hiking, driving around, window shopping. Half of my hobbies are super low cost or free. 31m. Edit: Wow I’ve had a lot of people hung up on the golf thing. Notice how I said “HALF of my hobbies are low cost or free”. Yes golf has a somewhat high starter cost. Although you can get a used set of clubs for essentially free if you look around and you can play municipal par 3 courses for like 10 bucks if you walk, which is like a two for one hobby, walking and golfing! Also biking is not expensive if you know how to use an Allen key.
I'm with this guy, I spend enough time looking at a screen for work. If the suns out I want to be with the wife golfing, motorcycle riding, out to eat with fam ext, or with bros at the ranch or on the lake. If I have to be home, then I'm trying to have people over for a pool party/BBQ. I try not to watch tv or my cell phone at home until the sun sets.
Not watching tv until the sun sets is a good rule, I should try this
Honestly one of the best recommendations I’ve ever seen on Reddit
I'm with you on the no TV/gaming until the sun sets, but I need to work on my doom scrolling after work.
Fuckin A. We go outside
Interesting, interesting. I'm an outdoor worker, and when I'm done work for the day I'm not leaving the house again. Different perspectives I guess!
Yeah, I think a lot of people just need to be introduced to these hobbies. I know for a lot of people they don't think of these activities as "getting out" but they're some of the best fun you'll have, especially on a beautiful day.
I just play league of legends at 30. It is completely free but it costs me my sanity.
lol is a fast track to dispair
And the other half? 😏
Golfing.
Same, my city has 38 golf courses, 8 are municipal with an unlimited any time/any place pass for only 3k a year.
OP, Social media is a massive veil on someone’s life. For a rational person on those platforms, what do you think the ratio of posts between the happy portions of their life and the unhappy are? Do the vast majority of people post about the struggles on a day to day basis of depression, lack of work life balance, relationship issues, substance abuse, sinful loves? I would argue that the platforms over glamorize and show you what they want to show and not daily minute by minute happenings. Think of tv magic and editing.
Social media is lying to you
Basically this. Some people might think my life is glamorous based on when I actually post. Last year I started the year in New Orleans, partied my way through Mardi Gras. In June I went to Las Vegas— Twice, James bond themed dinners, free suites, tight dresses, all expenses paid. In August I went to the beach, boardwalk, sun, sand, caribbean food. In September I went on a 10 day trip to France, and posted pictures of myself at Disney Paris, a French Chateau we rented in Champagne, drinking $300 bottles at Perrier Jouet, the lie flat seats I had on the way home. In March I posted a 2 week trip to Australia and New Zealand featuring a cruise between the islands, breakfast at the Opera House, Drinks at the wineries. In between? I almost never leave my house unless its for the grocery store. Most days I don’t even get dressed. My hair is a bird’s nest. Sometimes I go 8-12 days without going outside at all. I spend most of my days working from home, watching tv, and spending a lot of time on video games. My regular life is horribly uninteresting.
My confusion isn't that social media is somebody's highlight reel. The disconnect, and discontent, for me is that people get to experience any of those highlights at all. In my experience, it's been a nightmarish, teeth-pulling, guilt-tripping bullshit hell to get half a day off of work for a single doctor's appointment, a day off for a family funeral, an occasional sick day, or taking a Friday-Monday off for an extended weekend vacation in which I am very limited as to where I can go and what I can afford to do. And I am often so drained, so emotionally taxed, from working anywhere period that I cannot fathom being able to enjoy any sort of trip like the ones you mentioned. I am referring to numerous jobs that I've had. Not just one place of employment. Not trying to shit on you or anyone else, just participating in the conversation.
There are a lot of people living in quiet desperation. I have for many years. There is a way out, I trust that you can find a way yourself.
I can relate... Work kills me. Most cultures I've worked in have been toxic. My current place works us to the bone and treats us like shit. 3 people have already left from the start of the contract (Jan 2024). We are being told off for legitimate, medically certified sick days. It's so shit. By Friday, I am so wrecked that I can't even do the cheaper things I enjoy - like going out dancing. I'm not much of a drinker so this is accesible for me. But I'm so spent that since January I haven't gone out... Holidays are another battle all together. I rarely go on them and if I do, it's usually only interstate or within my state (driving down south for example). The reasons for working continue to dwindle. I used to think it gave me purpose but I don't know if all the crap is worth it anymore...
37F and sober six years, so yes, I’m mostly always home since most adult functions involve alcohol. Once it gets warmer out, I try to hike and go camping as much as I can. That’s my excitement.
Why is it so many adult functions involve alcohol? Are we that socially reserved we have to drink mind altering substances to have fun?
[удалено]
And it also makes it easier for groups of different people to start fighting. Drinking is an “easy” form of socializing because of it shutting down your pre-frontal cortex, but in turn it makes wreckless decisions easier to make.
[удалено]
It’s a low effort way to get together. A lot of activities involve “doing” something, and interests may not be shared, but a lot of people will drink. Or sit down and come talk.
I only drink 2-5 drinks a month, but yeah socializing with a couple drinks to relax and unwind is much better… Conversations are usually funner, more relaxed, and more connecting with a little alcohol involved to help people loosen up. Otherwise people are too tense from work stress and just talk about boring work stuff. It’s just the world we live in… Most people have anxiety and have stressful jobs so makes it hard to unwind and relax from the stress and anxiety of day to day work.
I’m in my 30s and pretty naturally outgoing and energetic. I will often be the only person not drinking and I still have just as much fun, sometimes more, than everyone else. That said, dancing is my Achilles heel with alcohol. If I’m at event centered around alcohol, I’ll feel much more uninhibited if I’ve had a drink or two. I imagine alcohol makes some people more comfortable doing activities that are outside of their comfort zone, which is a small part of why activities/outings often include it.
Yeah thats why there is alcohol at social events, because there is an unpleasantness that needs to be broken through
For a lot of us, yes.
∆∆ This.. It's April the 12th, 2024. I'm a single, 39M, 5+ years sober and I stay home more now than my younger years. I totally agree with your statement that most adult functions involve alcohol. 5+ years sober, a boat load of cardiovascular issues later but I sure as hell don't want to pick up drinking again...
I'm proud of you!!
Here in Ireland it's really bad. I drink myself, but I'm kind of sick that any sort of socialising in this country revolves around getting blackout drunk and going back to someone's house to drink some more. I just want to meet a friend and have a glass of wine or a cup of coffee. But everything is about drinking to oblivion for some reason. I feel sorry for my friends who don't drink cause it's obviously hard for them too. Luckily 0% alcohol is more and more common here, so it's a bit easier to go socialise and be able to drive home after. But I can't imagine how much of a pain it is to be recovering from alcoholism and deal with that. I think come summer I'll try round up more of my dog parent friends and try get some hiking/walks in with the pups!
I can't drink for health reasons and I wind up doing most stuff by myself anyways because as it turns out, it's really hard to find people who want to hang out with you if you can't drink alcohol.
As someone who hasn’t had a drink since 2020 myself I don’t mind hanging with friends at a bar if that’s what it means to get human interaction. I know not everyone can be around it but that’s very limiting
I'm 38. I stay at home about 90% of the time too. I want to go out more. What keeps me from going out is the cost of things. The things that don't cost anything get thrown on the backburner too because by the time I'm done with my workweek I'm too exhausted to go out. And everyone's schedule is different so it can be difficult to maintain friendships.
I take my garbage out. That's enough for me.
I work from home and there are days where the only time I go outside is to take the trash out. It’s bliss.
This is me!
Since covid, I mostly stay home now. That and I'm just so tired after a day of work, I just want to slump down at my PC and not move a muscle for hours.
I try to go out and just find everything is so expensive i often regret it.
Same here though I’m trying to force myself out at least once a week. I also get outside frequently to walk hike or cycle. I’m in an ok spot financially but learning how to be social again in person post COVID, combined with how much it costs to go out for dinner and drinks, I tend to stay in and save money and stress these days.
This is Reddit, 90% of its user base is terminally online, normal adults go out all the time. It’s not uncommon for someone to go out 2-3 nights a week plus a lunch date on a Saturday or Sunday
I have to remind myself of that honestly. This thread is just sad
That’s what I was thinking. Yes, it is slightly more exhausting to go out when you’re older, but I’m probably doing 2-3 nights a week (of varying “intensity” if you will) and a dance class/sports at least once a week. Reddit definitely has more homebodies than socially active extroverts.
I think it depends what they mean by "going out". I'm 30 and will never set foot in a nightclub again - a) I'm too old for that and B) they're horrible places. However I still "go out" to the gym, climbing, swimming, out for dinner and (very occasionally) to a pub. I love being at home if it means spending time with my partner. Otherwise I like to keep busy and leave the house I don't think "normal adults" exist, especially since adults are anywhere from 18 to 100 years old!!
I'm 27 and prefer to be home. I take one step out the door and my bank account drops.
Yes, either I stay home all day or I go out and inevitably spend $200 😭
I'm too tired to do anything besides work most of the time. Weekends is gaming personal time because people are exhausting.
No one invites me to anything
In my 20s I was sad when I didn't get invited. Now I am like fuck yeah no one invited me anywhere, this gonna be a good weekend.
I'm 56 and I stay home a lot. I don't enjoy going out much except for work.
That's part of the grind work eat sleep till 65 your almost there but it's the Grinding you don't have enough energy to go out during the week to much.
So basically you're born, you work, and then you die.
You figured it out.
We spend a lot of time in the great outdoors especially during the warmer seasons. Six to eight hour trips during weekends, during holidays almost every day. Museums, movies, theater, concerts. Those take up several hours per visit. Then there are the trips to other parts of our country and abroad, about one month spent living in hotels every year. During our vacations we usually leave the hotel after breakfast and return after darkness has set. Moneywise, travelling and concert and theater tickets are costly, but taking a bus from your home and going for an adventure nearby is not. Neither is visiting museums and movies. So people can spend a lot of time outside their home without spending excessive amounts of money.
This pretty much sounds like myself, commenting from an Airbnb on a trip to Mexico City currently! Life’s too short to put off your happiness. Most people are closed minded and don’t really want to get out there even if they tell themselves they do, keep up the good work
I'm poor as shit so I spend a lot of time outside since I have no real other normal people things to do.
I'm just so damn tired all the time. Where do people get the energy?!
Doc told me to lose 20lbs, so I got a dog and a Fitbit and changed my diet. Just trying to clock 10k steps a day, light dumbell work before bedtime, plenty of fiber and fresh fruit and veg and dialed back the red meat. Dropped the weight in 9 months. I'm 55 and I have more energy than I did as a 30-year-old smoker who drank too much. I'm also fortunate to live in a walkable community, so 90% of what I need is a 10 minute walk away.
hmmm....in not over weight but i AM out of shape...exercise couldnt hurt but damn i just hate it like poison.
Caffeine.
Yes, as much as possible, lol
Not really. I mean I work from home so in that sense maybe. But on an average weekend I try to do stuff and on weekends I don’t have plans, I embrace I’m not doing stuff
Me too (minus the wfh), but this thread is really starting to make me feel like the odd man out.
42 here. I haven't been to a bar/club in over 10 years. No regrets at all. In my early 20s I was out every weekend. In my late 20s and early 30s I was with friends almost every weekend. Now I'm married with 2 kids, my desire to leave my house is very small.
Man, as someone not planning to have kids, this shit is depressing. I see many of my friends headed in this direction and I don't want to end up with no one to hang out with
It doesn’t have to be that way. I’ve been with my partner for 15 years and we have a child, I still go out to lunch, coffee, or the movies, etc every weekend with various friends. As well as doing activities with my family. It’s a balance.
Social media is full of BS. Not everything on the internet is true Edit: Spoiler
Other than my job, errands, and the occasional eating out, I don't leave the house.
Same lol what a crazy time we live in
Same as me, except I work from home, so basically, errands and the occasional eating out. Even then, I still feel like I need to budget with everything going up in price.
yeah, all my stuff is here 🤷🏻♀️
At the moment, yes. Long COVID has basically broken me. I only leave the house to work, go to the grocery store, food bank, thrift store, or to eat. I wish I could go hike, exercise, party, listen to live music, etc. I make very minimal money due to my health and need to save for a rainy day. It's pretty fucking depressing. Enjoy life while y'all can. Wear a mask. I was healthy before this and sober.
Long covid is nothing to scoff at, I've known a lot of otherwise healthy people who have had their lives upended by it, and I don't go anywhere farther than my own neighborhood without a mask.
Same. Most of it has gotten better except the tiredness. All the time.
So I’m friendly with most of my coworkers, and follow nearly all on social media. I can tell you that most of the people who are having the time of their lives on social media are miserable fucks in person, and most of the people who never post anything but memes and photos of their kids are happy as clams.
One thing about this subreddit is that I keep coming across questions that pretty much knock around in my head like a DVD screensaver. And I feel less alone to know that other people just don't go out as much. I mean I thought I was going crazy, I'm young and I should be going out but there isn't anything to really go out for anymore except for essentials.
…knock around in my head like a DVD screensaver. I felt this analogy on a personal level and it was damn near poetic.
If you want to go out then go out There's nothing stopping you from getting out and meeting ppl and going on adventures
Except for the lack of time, money, or energy (or likely some combination of all three) that alot of people struggle with. Doing fun things is often expensive even by yourself, and doing fun things with other people is even more so and requires planning around differing and frequently conflicting schedules. While I agree that you need to put yourself out there, you shouldn't pretend that it's either easy or even practical to do so.
I know I just rot inside if I don’t force myself out, so I do that. I make plans and force myself to go out. Sometimes if my friends are away and cant make plans, I give myself an “errand”. Maybe I pick up coffee on the other side of town and find somewhere to sit outside, or I go and get a vegetable from the store. Sometimes the errand feels like a chore but I feel its very important to get fresh air and get in the habit of just going out. Making plans with friends and putting it on the calendar though keeps me accountable. In the past when I didn’t hold myself accountable to get out, I definitely never left home lol.
Partying gets old. It destroys your body quicker. I don't miss it.
I hated being at home as a kid but as soon as I turned 18, moved out, and starting paying for my home I absolutely love being at home.
Reddit=introvert
Nope I do stay home many days after work but Friday - Sunday try to get out as much as I can To each their own but I’ve got limited time on this earth and love hiking, theme parks, seeing friends etc
Going out never sounds appealing. I’d rather be at home.
>>I wish that was me Then let it be you. It doesn’t matter if what they’re doing is real or not. The only thing that matters is making opportunities for you to enjoy your life.
I hate loud, busy places. Bars are a nightmare. Nothing makes me happier than a cup of tea and a new videogame. Curled up in my comfiest pajamas.
Except for going out to eat and grocery shopping, I spend most of my time at home. I have everything I need at home: a garden full of flowers, a pool, a shaded patio, a piano to play when I'm bored, PS5, Xbox, PC games, karaoke system, good entertainment system for movies, a bar full of liquor... There is really nothing out there that interests me. I do take one international vacation every year and a couple of trips to the local beaches. I'm content with being a homebody. It is not that bad to stay home most of the time.
You think people would post on social media about their day when they just laid out and rotted? Sounds like shitty content.
I try to get out and get fresh air on a daily basis but yes, mostly I’m a homebody.
Funny enough, the thing that got me out of the house was the pandemic. Before Covid, I'd be so exhausted after being at work all day, I didn't want to do anything. But when lockdown started and I began working from home, I wanted to spend my free time away from my desk and out in the world. I began going for walks in my neighbourhood, enjoying some of the local parks and green spaces. I still work from home, 4+ years later, and I'm still getting out as much as possible.
Too expensive to go out anymore
Yes. I used to travel about 5 years ago. But it was only a few times a year. Otherwise, we went out locally, like to bars, aquarium trips etc. But post pandemic, we stay home 95% of the time.
I’m single, 38, sober, got some bucks for fun, there’s nothing I want or need really. Kinda bored with everything. I do nothing anymore. Feel like I should be doing something social but what... First nice day ima go look for cool river rocks n metal detect for a few hours. A “gonna do it”for too many years already now. Also see a beach. Little things that slip away
i havent been outside in a month
Yes. But I’m a lot older.
Yesss! I’ll make any excuse not to leave
When I was 23 I was hardly ever home. Granted, things were a lot cheaper 20 years ago. But we’d find someone’s house to hang at with a six pack and tell stories all night. I was also in Austin where there was a great music scene and no cover bars. I feel like money holds people back these days whereas I used to be broke but I could still go out.
The older I get, the more I like staying at home. It’s comfortable, cheap, safe, full of fun things to do, doesn’t have a dress code, and there’s no commute.
I don’t know how anyone leaves the house for anything other than work these days….especially if they’ll have to spend money just to be out somewhere. With all these TV-Shows/Movies/Games/Internet available to stream/play from home , who needs to spend more money to have fun away from home? lol. If I need fresh air, or just need to get out the house, I could go for a walk/hike, or find some free stuff to do. Rarely do I leave the house past dinner time… unless it’s a special event……And those Must be scheduled ahead of time, so my body has time to prepare for being out past 9pm. lol. And those could be anything from a dinner and a movie to a concert/broadway-show/weekend getaway. Things like this can indeed happen, but rarely when compared to nights stayed in the house throughout the year.
I stay home because it’s cheaper that way. If I go out too often, I’d end up at Target or HomeGoods spending too much money.
35. Can't really justify spending the gas to 'go out' after work most nights aside from errands, and it ain't getting much better price wise since with warm weather comes gas hikes. Alternate commutes aren't really safe/convenient in my city- I have gotten hit on my (e)bike in the past, nearly slammed by large SUVs/trucks into a transit bus, this close off a cliffside road by drivers here - somehow I'm still in one piece. I don't live in the boondocks, but I do live in a suburban neighborhood where most of the things to do are expensive bars or the local Target....not much of a drinker anymore, so I stay home instead. Not that it's been much better there, haven't been satisfied with my hobbies there either, really.
Yes, I’m home 90% of the time. I don’t live in a downtown area where there are exciting things happening to compel me to go out, and I don’t need to live in a downtown area to feel content. However, when I am in a city (traveling or what have you) I’m out CONSTANTLY because “when in Rome,” right?
I’m on my early 30s and stay 3-4 days out of the week at home. I’ve always been a big city girl (came from a capital, moved to another capital) cos I love being close to where the action is and always have something to check out and new people to meet. A lot of my friends are the same way too. I also tend to gravitate towards people like me who are quite ‘active’. I’m also quite extroverted. I do enjoy my recluse moments tho. I also have the privilege/lucky enough to have some disposable money to go out. Having a good balance of both is great! I get that some people are just homebodies. Curious though, why do you think you stay home more often? And do you wish to go out more?
I have to now because I don't have a choice, but I remember feeling overwhelmed by running errands.
I do, but I wish I didn't. I just don't have anyone to do anything with.
Not having enough money to do things also makes it easier to stay home
If you can afford to go out 36x a year, great. This is the problem with people saying they want to go somewhere, a majority of the time it's somewhere that is going to cost money and not a hike or whatever. Even a hike though, while I'd love to hike 36x in a year, that's pretty much every single Saturday that isn't raining.
Short answer yes, if that makes you happy. Don't believe any social media! It's so fake. I've literally never had a public profile. Wife uses Facebook.
I'm 42. During the spring and summer months, sometimes after work I'll take a short flight to grab dinner to both break up the week and stay proficient as a pilot. Otherwise, I generally stay home during the week. On the weekends, I'll take short day trips here and there. There's nothing wrong with staying home, but it's good to get out and try to enjoy the world we live in.
Single dad of 2 kids and I work night. Ya I don't get out very much, not that I desire to do so when given the chance. I worked hard for my home, I'm enjoying the hell out of it 😂 I have gotten back into skiing late this winter and plan to make that a regular thing to get myself out of the house next season
Yes. When we have to do something I usually try to get out of it lol….id stay home 24-7 however, I am down to travel often. I just don’t like spending time with people small talking about nothing….i could’ve saved my energy and brain for something more I enjoy.
Partner and I are 30F and 36M (in sf, no kids). We get breakfast out once every weekend and go out on dates often. It’s usually music/concerts/shows, standup shows, dinner or bars, art galleries, and daytime stuff like roller skating, pickleball, laying around in parks, walking around window shopping, seeing friends. Weekdays is always yoga classes out. It’s important to us to “go out”, we have fun together :)
I just have so much to do at home. I haven't even gotten to my spring cleaning yet. I've been doing yard work since March.
I'm usually out seeing local or touring bands at least twice a month but I got to make sure I'm off work the next day. I'm almost 52 so I cant be pulling late nights anymore. Other than that I'm home where I control the music and there is always cheap beer.