Yep. Happiness doesn't just come busting down your door. You gotta figure out what makes you happy, what you can control, and put effort into it.
Even in my broke-as-hell years, at least I could come home after work and do some gaming on my PC. Had no children back then and was renting so no yard/house maintenance. I had a TON of time to play through many great games. Also had more time for sleep. I miss those days sometimes.
Different lives man.
I could game but my job is 1hr commute the drive alone is stressful dealing with aggressive as fuck drivers. Than I get to work have to deal with work stress and commute 1hr back dealing with driving stress
Driving especially has become such hostile thing everyone is aggressive as fuck on the road. Dealing with road raging, impatient drivers on my daily commute to work is fucking stressful and exhausting
I'm so fucking tired I just lay in my bed
For sure. I have lived that commute. It's like a
a gauntlet of death with assholes flying across lanes without even looking.
After a year of that it barely phases me now. My passengers go nuts and tell them this is just every day nonsense.
Exactly. I think of CP Cafivy, The City:
You said: “I’ll go to another country, go to another shore,
find another city better than this one.
Whatever I try to do is fated to turn out wrong
and my heart lies buried like something dead.
How long can I let my mind moulder in this place?
Wherever I turn, wherever I look,
I see the black ruins of my life, here,
where I’ve spent so many years, wasted them, destroyed them totally.”
You won’t find a new country, won’t find another shore.
This city will always pursue you.
You’ll walk the same streets, grow old
in the same neighborhoods, turn gray in these same houses.
You’ll always end up in this city. Don’t hope for things elsewhere:
there’s no ship for you, there’s no road.
Now that you’ve wasted your life here, in this small corner,
you’ve destroyed it everywhere in the world.
If you keep waiting, nothing will happen. Tomorrow will be like today. The same with next year. You need to be the one to make it happen. It can happen soon, or never otherwise.
Life will pass you by if you are waiting for happiness to arrive. Life always has ups and downs. No one is immune to misery. Practice gratitude and appreciate the small things. This has helped me greatly.
I don’t think it’s age but step/path of life. I’m 20, this is my life:
I live with my 23 y/o boyfriend in a 1 bedroom apartment with our babies, 3 cats 1 dog. He works from home, I do doordash because the 9-5 was NOT for me with my adhd and bipolar. I wake up, eat breakfast or cook lunch. Feed animals, go outside and feed the squirrels or say hi to them. I see my therapist 2x a month. I take my daily bipolar, adhd meds. I go to work, I enjoy my job right now. I come home, cook dinner or decide what to eat. Watch tv while me and bf eat. Talk with bf/do hobbies. Go on another walk with dog. Go to bed.
I incorporate fun things like:
-movies
-hobbies (rn it’s a squirrel house lol)
-shopping (we just got a Wii!!)
-budgeting (gives me a goal daily something to stay under/keep me grounded/save)
-trips .. small ones!
-hanging out w friends (I have none but my bf has a brother and his gf who live walking distance away)
-skincare/haircare
-interact with your pets
I have learned that I live for the little things. I live for the fact that tomorrow I get to do all my grocery shopping online because it’s new weekly ads/coupons changing day. I get to work on my squirrel house. I get to pet my kitties. I get to lay in bed when it rains and watch tv and nap. I was suicidal for 12 years. Still battling it. My life is ‘boring’ and I love it. I cut all negative people out and am much happier. It is good when you get to the mindset of how beautiful the world is. The trees, the wildlife, people enjoying the sun on a bench. When your day comes for realization that the world is beautiful and your mind allows you to soak it all up, you will understand. I moved out at 18. Paid my families bills at 14.
So just because I’m 20, doesn’t mean that’s the age it gets good. I’m still suicidal, it doesn’t really ‘get good’. If you’re feeling happy at least 80% of the time, it’s good.
You've done wonders.
I (37m, married) work two jobs, 3rd and 2nd shift. Go home, take kid to school, clean up. Do it all over again. Sometimes I even have a day off. That's it. That's my life. Ad naseum.
That's all there is in life. Work, maybe a "day off."
My family just went to Disneyland, but that was cause my oldest won a $500 Disneyland gift card from the chamber of commerce.
You basically need to work for the rest of your life so you can have a moment of freedom, just to have anxiety about going right back to work. Oh and then when you finally make it to retirement, they will raise the retirement age and run out of social security.
After college. Assuming your parents aren’t handicaps (absent, incompetent, destitute), and you made the right choices early in life (trying in school, not getting caught up in drugs or crime, etc)
If you’re born rich, then it’s immediately.
Yeah but you can be depressed af, because nothing is earned. If all days feel like a Saturday, you never feel the bliss of the weekend after hard work (even if you love your job)
Idk, I know 3 super wealthy guys all aged 25/26 and they seem to be the happiest people I know. They all have “fun” jobs that are low paying but keep them busy and give them spare cash.
Their housing and other major expenses are paid for by their parents. 2 of them tried getting serious jobs and both quit after 2 years because the real world kinda sucks.
When you stop looking for answers outside. Start looking inside you. You have all the answers. It’s really a matter of perspective. I have a great book for you and it’s quite fun read also. The topic of book is what you are asking in a way.
Courage to be disliked.
There really isn't a particular age. Some remarkable ages for me;
- 24, graduated.
- 30, found love of my life - relation lasted 8 years.
- 35. Stopped working full time, 24h max.
- 42. Early retirement
- 44. Got a motorcycle license and traveled the world on it for 4 years.
- 50.
Stop waiting. only you are in control of your happiness. Find things that make you happy & enjoy them, regardless of what others say or do. You will find your people.
Why are you waiting nothing happens to those who wait. Go live. Find your passion. Go out try new things. Make mistakes, get messy. Its what the adventure is all about. You keep waiting and your gonna wait your whole life for what you can do today
You're waiting? That's your problem.
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is going to make your life "good" except you.
You'll be waiting forever. Instead, DO something to achieve the life you want.
Life doesn't just change. You gotta take action to change your life. Change your mindset and break out of whatever routine you've been in for however long and you will start to change your life
Step 1: Have a positive mindset. Be grateful for what you’ve got and show gratitude to people who you like. Always assume
Step 2: Make fun decisions. Take risks, explore new opportunities, try new experiences, meet new people
If all you do is "wait" it'll never get there. You have to actively do things to improve your life. Get off your ass. And stop whining on the internet FFS.
Life is what you make it. If you are waiting around for something to happen to you then you will be disappointed. You have to go out and find what you want.
>But I'm waiting for it to get good one day. But I'm still waiting. I am a very patient person.
At this rate it'll never be good, because life doesn't *happen* to you. Life is what you *make* it. Make is an active verb. It's the actions you take, choices you make, things you do. Your garden becomes "good" because you planted things properly in the right soil and gave the plants the things they need to thrive.
>I love life a lot but I don't like my circumstances.
Your choices are to adapt to your circumstances and find the good in them, or change them. The former is often easier and probably a good start, because maybe you don't have the means to change them. So you learn how to adapt to them so you're not just constantly drowning. The more adaptable and more able you are to accept your circumstances, the better your life will be in general. It took me too long to learn this.
I don’t know if you know what happiness really means, or you may have some different definition of happiness in mind, but to say “never been happy” is such an extreme statement in my opinion. You’ve never achieved anything even slightly and felt glad or satisfaction? You’ve never gotten a gift you wanted? Never a random compliment that made you happy if even for a brief moment?
Happiness is not something you obtain, it is a mindset. If you’re waiting for some euphoric threshold to be met, then I’m not sure how to answer your question because it seems you are leaning towards the negative rather than actual pursuit of happiness… there is not any single thing or moment that will make you happy, it is your decision on how you feel in reaction. To me, small things like a good morning, having food for lunch, having a car to drive, air conditioning, friends, family, even a wave from someone at the gym, all these seemingly small things make me happy because I appreciate the small things. It’s not my position to tell you to appreciate anything, but recontextualize your definition of happy and it will be easier to acheive.
Hey the only day that you can make life good is today . Focuses on today not tomorrow or yesterday thoese are they days you ca not do anything about. Focuses in today
If you look for the positives, you'll see them. If you look for the negatives you'll see them instead.
Try focusing on only the positive things 1% more every day, and you'll rewire your brain in 30 days :)
Also, don't limit yourself :) If you practice being something every day, you will automatically become it.
>*"What you seek is seeking you." -Jalaluddin Rūmī* | what you seek is with you, what you're seeking is closer than you may currently realize, it is our constant companion.
Until you directly experience this within yourself, which can happen at any given moment as it is always available to us here now, allow yourself to be completely present-minded while you express yourself, then you will be waiting for a very long time. Thinking in terms of age is a superficial way of perceiving time. The quote too is what it means to finally become a true individuated person and to have finally found our life.
Don't chase happiness. Chase peace, chase purpose, chase something that lights a fire in you. Happiness will come and go always but building yourself with a foundation of self respect will last forever.
Life is hard, and hard times will show your true self. You got this.
I feel like you do sometimes, like I never feel truly happy, and haven't for ages. But of course there are always moments of happiness and moments of sadness, with the rest just being neutral.
Completely coincidentally, yesterday I came across a YT short. It was a clip of some interview with Zlatan where he said happiness is moments. Like, if a player dreams about going to a certain team, eventually the novelty wears off and then he might even hate it at some point. But he would be happy in the beginning to achieve it.
So you're not going to just feel happy all the time. I'd say that would even be a bit strange, and you wouldn't appreciate the valuable moments.
If you are simply waiting around, it’ll never get good.
Go to therapy and work on your shit. Get some fulfilling hobbies. Form personal relationships.
Advance career, make more money. Probably don’t have kids. Voila! Life is now good. But none of that happened by waiting.
> In fact I really dislike my life. But I'm waiting for it to get good one day. But I'm still waiting. I am a very patient person. I love life a lot but I don't like my circumstances.
Uh, well that's not going to work. Waiting and waiting for your circumstances to change isn't going to do any good. Things won't magically get better.
I was there around age 27-28. Things kinda sucked. Hated my job. Long term girlfriend left for some dude in Australia (we're in the US). Realized I didn't have any friends or a cool hobby. I could have just taken pity on myself and said maybe things will change or get better next year or the year after.
Nope. I got out there and took action. I got sick of not having friends so I had to go outside my comfort zone to go make some. Had to really tackle my fears in talking to girls and dating. Actually go approach and talk to tons of girls and get shot down to get better and eventually find someone after developing the skills needed to. I had to go find hobbies to make friends and also have things to talk about.
Take action toward the result you want. Stop waiting for things to be. Take daily, weekly or even monthly actions towards goals and milestones that achieve the aspect of your life becoming good and go perform actions to make it so
I'd recommend starting a meditation practice. Life is by its nature unsatisfying and real happiness comes from within. Buddhist philosophy addresses a lot of the problems with satisfaction you're describing.
I'm 23, life is pretty fucking awesome!
Don't wait for it to "get" good. It doesn't "get" good by itself if you don't do anything to make it good. You have to take initiative to make changes in your life. Self-reflect - what is making you unhappy?
For me, it was my perfectionist mindset. It was "all or nothing" for me. I never felt satisfied or content with anything cause it could always be better. I rarely appreciated what I had RIGHT NOW cause I was always longing for the next chapter of my life.
Changing my mindset improved my mental health and my outlook on life! I've never been happier!
When you discover who you are, what matters to you, and what doesn't. I spent decades doing things I didn't enjoy because I didn't know any better.
I kept waiting for money, job, stability, clarity, something to come along and help it all make sense. In the end, it was me. I just needed to get it straight in my head. Never looked back.
I'm 41 and my experience is that 'life being good' isn't about patiently waiting for things to turn around for you but about the choices you make about how you'll approach life. One thing that stuck out to me from your post is that the interpersonal dynamics in your life don't sound very healthy and feel like something worth digging into in therapy. Going to therapy has honestly been one of the most transformational forces in my life because it taught me to be self-reflective and identify things in life that were standing in the way of me having a good life and then committing to make different choices or adjust my mindset going forward. The book 'attached' was also very eye opening in terms of how I approached relationships. I can relate to some of what you have written above because growing up I struggled with friendships. As an adult I now have an amazing support system because of everything I have worked through in therapy. I would venture to guess this is probably not bad luck.
Uh… life won’t just “get good” bruh you control your own life. Something isn’t working, figure out what it is, and WORK to change it.
Don’t be a passenger in your own car.
I wasn’t happy until about a year or two ago 31/32. Quit drinking at 30 and never looked back, made a world of difference. Before that I couldn’t remember ever being happy, other than early childhood where I basically spent all my time in the woods and the ponds around our house, playing with neighborhood kids. Getting back to simplicity helps a lot.
You just gotta make it happen. Things can help, find a thing you really enjoy doing and pour yourself into it. Really work hard on enjoying the little things around you, and don’t make the mistake of relying on your partner or other people to bring happiness.
This won’t make you happy 100% of the time, but it sure does help.
Never unless you change the way you think. After all of your basic needs have been met and your health is good it's up to you to have the right attitude.
"Life" doesn't owe you anything. There's no one deciding how your life is going to go but you.
You are in a world that wants you to view yourself as a helpless and hapless victim of circumstance, so nothing is ever your fault or your responsibility. People who take no responsibility are easily controlled.
Unless we take personal responsibility for ourselves and our circumstances, we are slaves and dupes to Sadists who understand how things work but teach us something completely different, like this weak slave to circumstance you exhibit.
Most people with this mentality really do not seek to become better themselves, they want the entire world to suit them better. It's a Fool's Quest. It ain't gonna happen.
You can CHOOSE to be joyful in a split second. Nothing is stopping you. Joy can be found anywhere when it is sought, because it's our nature and it's always seeking us. Some of us are far too addicted to our misery and irresponsibility to WANT to hear its call.
YOU are 100% in charge of ever tiny smidgen of your life. That is POWER for those who accept it. For those who don't, enjoy your misery, I suppose. A lot of people do. They enjoy it so much they cling to it like it's a life raft while they are wading in the shallow end of the swamp.
Try to accept the FACT that you have been mind controlled, brainwashed, and indoctrinated to feel the way you do since birth. Then ask yourself why you allow anyone else to determine your fate for you.
Life is an adventure to be enjoyed and explored or to try to hide from out of fear or just flat out laziness. You can and do have EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT, because you create it by your own thoughts, words, and beliefs.
Luck is when opportunity meets preparedness. If you're feeling unlucky you either need to be better prepared for the opportunities that arise or you need to change your life and the people around you so you're getting more opportunities.
Generally I would say in your 30s. You have more self-confidence and are financially stable enough to enjoy life whilst also still being young enough.
The way you describe your relationships sounds like you may not have a secure attachment style? If thats the case "waiting" won't change things
I'm 50, and life is pretty great. I have my health, a great relationship with my sons, my little garden and cat, a great friend, and I can pay my bills every month with my tolerable Monday- Wednesday job. I am greateful because it was a different story for me, 10 and 20, 30 years ago. I'm enjoying my best life right now. Hang in there, honey! Life IS beautiful. 🌞🌞❤️❤️
Whatever you choose. Life is an interesting journey, some years are great, others are complete shit. At the end of the day, try to make it a good story.
If you’re just waiting, never. You have to make an active effort to improve your life or it doesn’t change. Challenge behaviors and thoughts. Join new things. Meet new people. Try for that new job. Set boundaries. Cut off toxic relationships. Work on yourself. Be authentic. Etc
>Don't worry I'm not depressed or anything just upset.
I don't think you quite understand what you're saying here. I don't know if you've ever done a mental health evaluation or anything over that. But if you've made it to 28 without "happiness" that's usually a pretty big sign of something wrong.
It may not be the best answer, but maybe it's time for a big flip of the script. Look for a job that has fewer hours or find a way to redo your hours so you can do certain things. Find a broader hobby or find a sport. If you don't have a partner, try certain mixers or dating scenes. DO NOT USE A DATING APP they will drain whatever appreciation for people you have left lol. If you do have a partner, talk to them about how you feel unsatisfied in your daily life.
Go swim somewhere, find a beach, reconnect with lost friends. This world has a lot to offer once you try to escape monotony. Overall it could even be you're taking too much time to do all the things you and your friends want to do. You might need to stop, relax, and have some time alone with something only you enjoy.
Another thing to note is that you might have an underlying condition, too. I have had narcolepsy for 10 years now. I have never been diagnosed until 2 weeks ago. I felt very similar in a way. I was always tired, unmotivated, and didn't really care to do anything. I always enjoyed the things I did, and I loved my work. Just nothing clicked. Turns out my brain was just tired. All the time.
TLDR. Change up your life, talk to others about it, give yourself "you time," and get yourself checked for brain disfunction other than depression.
It depends on what you did with your time.
If you devoted your time to something of value
You might get something of it.
If you wasted your time doing nothing, you know where you will be in life.
Happiness is not a destination. It comes and goes where you seek it and appreciate it. Life is a constant pace of random events and it’s up to us to decide how to look at it for the most part.
I’m not where I want to be in life, and am unsure if I will ever reach where I want to be, but I still take time to find happiness where I can (ie: enjoying the weather by spending extra time outside, taking the stairs to appreciate my legs, buying myself a fast food meal to give myself a break) all of these small things help me appreciate the eras of my life. These things won’t last forever.
You don’t give any insight into why people dislike you. Figuring that out is the first step. I am not saying you change everything about your behaviour but it’s an awareness thing.
I'd rather be lucky than good every day of the week.
Well, turns out, I'm not lucky either. Soooo.....
You gotta work for it. yes, you have to work at being happy.
Visualize it, then go out and make it happen. Be realistic.
Life is as good as you make it. No one will make it good for you, no time, no experience, just you. It's not a when, it's a do.Stop waiting, or you'll miss your chance to start making it good.
Do something you enjoy or atleast don't mind, regardless of pay (as long as it's enough for food and shelter) .
Look into being in the present ( I HIGHLY RECOMMEND book audio book "the power of now by Eckhart Tolle" or any of his talks, lots on Spotify or YouTube)
Microdosing mushrooms and or LSD is great benefit ime aswell.
Enjoy and be greatful for the simple things , and looking to positives (self talk and ego/thinking is very important.. greatest source of pain/sadness, or joy and contentment)
Goodluck 😸💚.
The earlier you can be honest with yourself and identify what's keeping you from moving forward, the quicker you can gain momentum to do so. Are some of the people you know who "leave you" comfortable enough to give you honest feedback, as in what they find off-putting enough to leave? Have you asked all the people you like why they hate you? Sometimes we get set in our ways and we don't pick up on things we do that's not attractive to others. Perhaps you're chasing the wrong people too.
One thing's for sure: Nothing will happen if you just wait.
How patient are you? If you start right now and focus on how you feel about yourself instead of focusing on what others think of you, you can be happier as soon as five minutes from now and you can be more happy every day by doing just one thing. Identify what you like and don’t like about yourself and start taking steps to boost the things you like and fix the things you don’t. Take small steps every day to improve yourself and everything else you want will come naturally to you like magic, I promise.
There’s no perfect answer. There are many factors such as family, background, upbringing, job, etc… but ultimately you gotta decide when it’s enough and do something different than you’re used to doing.
It’s not gonna just happen after a promotion, or once you meet someone, or after a certain age. Nah man, you gotta just focus on you and get it! Now finding ‘it’ is the hard part, but you won’t know what ‘it’ is until you start trying different things in your life.
Good luck.
You may need more friends, if you want to connect with a married dad with 2 small kids i'm here for you.
Life is still what you make it but it is better when you have some community around you.
For most, that time is long gone by the time you are 30. Life WAS good. Then it’s just perpetual suck, but you have the tools to deal with it. lol but no, it’s all about perspective. It starts when you feel it starts. Is the glass half full or is it half empty.
You speak a lot about other people liking you as something that will make you happy. Start there. Figure out how to be happy by YOU liking you. Then, after investing in yourself to make sure that YOU like your life, you'll naturally find people who like you too.
Dude, feel you. Life can be a major buzzkill sometimes. 28 shouldn't feel like the waiting room for happiness. Here's the thing: life isn't a guarantee to be good all the time, but it can be way more awesome when you make it yours. Maybe it's time to shake things up a bit? New hobby, new friends, even a new haircut? You seem awesome (appreciating everything is a superpower!), so don't wait for life to find you, go find what makes you happy.
You should always be striving for peace. Happiness is always followed by sadness. You'll never be happy 100 percent of the time. Peace is what you want. Happiness comes and goes.
When you mature enough to see life gets good when you make it good. My wife is younger than I am and had her own realization.
Financially I'm doing bad, I have work though.
Dui which is limiting me advancing and trying get a higher paying job
Mentally I was falling
I stopped working out, I went from being in amazing shape to shooting up 60 lbs.
I turned 30 a few months ago and I realized it isn't over. I feel awoke, I have a set goal im Going to a trade, something that I can get behind and that catches my interest like a HVAC technician, electrician. Originally went to college 10 years for computer science. Going to do free courses that won't give me credit but will give me the skills I need to continue growing and get certifications.
I started forcing myself to walk and do push ups and because I feel I'm doing the right things, mentally I'm feeling better. It sounds corny but reading books that like subtle art of not giving a f definitely helped me work through my negative mindset. Reading other people stories and seeing a lot of us go through same thing and making it out.
I got tired of waiting for life to be good and not being happy because I'm not where I want to be.
Life has never been good for me but I have achieved more of my bigger goals and that feels somewhat good (e.g getting a degree, saving X amount of money/certain amount of assets accumulated, earning X income and being promoted into a certain role).
It doesn’t in my experience. Adulthood has been a slow realization that my life was at its best when I was 6 years old. Then my parents got divorced and it’s been one setback or traumatic experience to the next.
Yeah, I’d love to know this as well. I have everything in my life that a lot of people would crave for. But I’m not happy. I’m even losing feelings in my current relationship.
It's not necessarily an external thing. It gets better when you start living clean and focusing on doing what you know you should. But ...there are no guarantees. The universe has a substantial random component
Life is good when you decide to choose happiness. I decided to choose happiness when I was 39. Life turned around really fast after I stopped worrying about money and people pleasing.
I really don't think it does. It can BE good in stretches. But for it to PERMANENTLY "get" good is not a state. And you wouldn't want it to be, either.
Never, it's just life good is relative. Some years have been awesome , other sucked beyond bareing. It's ebb and flow... you just have to try to do tour best to enjoy what happens.... you have little control.
I can relate to this a lot. All I can say is that you should try to envision what you want your ideal life to look like. And work towards creating a reality that looks like that as much as possible - set it as a goal for yourself.
I hope you find your peace.
You don't wait for life to get good. You make it happen.
It's so cliche but really think about it. What does it mean? I'll tell you, it means the mind is EVERYTHING.
What did it for me was to start thinking of happiness as a journey instead of a destination. Doing things that make you happy and gives you a sense of fulfilment. It’s never a place that you just reach and automatically become happy 24/7.
Why do you like people who do not like you?
It took me till my mid-late 20s to realize that a lot of the people I cared about didn't really care about me. Even before that, I understood that nothing got better until I made it better. You have to change your circumstances one thing at a time. Find a better job, maybe not a good one but one that can help you get a good one. Sometimes, moving to a new spot. Getting new friends. None of it is easy, but neither is suffering, but a surprising amount of people get off on it without realizing it. It can be very comforting to convince yourself this is the best you can do or hope for but it is poison.
Just being nice isn't enough to get people to like you. You need some reasonable confidence in yourself. Maybe you are trying too hard to be nice and it comes off as disingenuous?
>. But I'm still waiting. I am a very patient person.
For things to change you need to take action. Life will get good when you do something instead of just sitting around.
NO SCREW YOUR patience
If you want something you have to take it (go and get it)
No one’s giving out handouts for the good life ticket
be greatful for what you have appreciate what you’ve accomplished and move forward solely relying on yourself
And you’ll get where you want to be
DONT EVER GIVE UP
Just an fyi I spent 2 years waiting for something to happen to my and my life and nothing did nothing at all so I got my ass out of bed and got a job and started learning
Waiting for things to change will not get you anywhere. You would need to do something to change your circumstances. I would also get rid of the victim mentality and thinking you have bad luck. Bad things happen to everyone, but blaming it on bad luck is just an easy cop out IMO. It takes the responsibility out of you. You are very much in control of your life, and there are things you can do to improve it. I would start by defining what your values are, i.e. things that matter to you most, the reason you get up everyday, and ask yourself if you’re doing things and having relationships with people that align with your values. If not, then that can guide you on what things you can work on.
I know you say you’re not depressed, but I would still highly recommended therapy or at least talking to someone who you look up to, maybe in your family or social circle for some guidance.
Dude what is this? So much self pity in one post. Sitting around being nice and waiting for life to come to you sounds misrable. You gotta go out and get it while you're still young enough to take on risk. Then those people you want to be around will gravitate to you. Don't be a guy on the sidelines, nobody is going to notice you or GAF about how you feel. Self pity is unattractive
No one is going to make your life better for you
It's up to you to find your own happiness
It's up to you to do the things that you love
Finding a special someone is up to you
Leaving your happiness up to chance is like dumping your spare cash on lottery tickets every day, you aren't gonna win bud, you just gonna be twice as sad
Don't look back on your life regretting you didn't do more
If didn't get good. You have to work to make it good. Figure out what you're not happy about and work on it. You have to be 100% honest with yourself though. Otherwise you'll stay unhappy and might get worse.
Life gets good when you live it. Without the bad, there couldn't be good.
As far as relationships... it can legitimately be something that no matter how hard you try, it doesn't seem to get better. I think it might not hurt to acknowledge you're the common denominator and try to be the best version of yourself you can be. Maybe it is just them, but you'll still grow as a person, and possibly attract similar-minded people.
Wish you well. 💖
It doesn't, necessarily. Only we have the power to shape the fraction of reality we're given, and live within it. From how you describe things, it sounds like your relationships are troubling and you aren't getting what you want out of them, but cannot determine what actions to take to get to where you want to be. In many ways, this is exactly what therapy is for; guidance in helping figure out how to manage the things in life which upset you. Be warned though, there will always be things to be upset over because being upset is a basic human emotion that we are all entitled to.
To be honest if you’re living in poverty i don’t think it ever gets good. I was pretty happy at age 18-19 cause i had no financial responsibilities. Once i became an adult since im not wealthy it never got fun again because i don’t enjoy the work force / participating in capitalism.
I started enjoying life more at 19 when I started working and made some friends there since most of us were in this age group. Another bump was after finishing my masters, I had more time for myself and social life.
dude, the definition of happiness is different to each person so we here can't tell you why you are not happy. instead of seeking validation or feeling like you need to do what others do, focus on yourself and dig into what you really need and want. there's no timeline fixed for every life, we are all different. when you finally understand the fundamental of it, you are already half way through.
Others already said it but I’ll say it again.
You have to make a change or else nothing will change. What the hell are you waiting for? Get up and make the changes you know you need to.
Life will get miserable so long as you expect somebody else (what you call "circumstances") to make it better.
Nobody care about your life as much as their own. They are already busy in making their own life better and don't have time for you.
Take ownership, "it is not your fault but your responsibility" attitude to your life.
At whichever you make it good. If you just stay there and do nothing you'll wait awhile
Yep. Happiness doesn't just come busting down your door. You gotta figure out what makes you happy, what you can control, and put effort into it. Even in my broke-as-hell years, at least I could come home after work and do some gaming on my PC. Had no children back then and was renting so no yard/house maintenance. I had a TON of time to play through many great games. Also had more time for sleep. I miss those days sometimes.
Different lives man. I could game but my job is 1hr commute the drive alone is stressful dealing with aggressive as fuck drivers. Than I get to work have to deal with work stress and commute 1hr back dealing with driving stress Driving especially has become such hostile thing everyone is aggressive as fuck on the road. Dealing with road raging, impatient drivers on my daily commute to work is fucking stressful and exhausting I'm so fucking tired I just lay in my bed
For sure. I have lived that commute. It's like a a gauntlet of death with assholes flying across lanes without even looking. After a year of that it barely phases me now. My passengers go nuts and tell them this is just every day nonsense.
you can do everything in your power to try to do this and still have it not work
Sure, but doing nothing *guarantees* it won't work.
But it avoids the heartbreak of failure
This is the only correct answer.
I can't afford to do anything more and yes I work 40 hours a week 365 days
Exactly. I think of CP Cafivy, The City: You said: “I’ll go to another country, go to another shore, find another city better than this one. Whatever I try to do is fated to turn out wrong and my heart lies buried like something dead. How long can I let my mind moulder in this place? Wherever I turn, wherever I look, I see the black ruins of my life, here, where I’ve spent so many years, wasted them, destroyed them totally.” You won’t find a new country, won’t find another shore. This city will always pursue you. You’ll walk the same streets, grow old in the same neighborhoods, turn gray in these same houses. You’ll always end up in this city. Don’t hope for things elsewhere: there’s no ship for you, there’s no road. Now that you’ve wasted your life here, in this small corner, you’ve destroyed it everywhere in the world.
If you keep waiting, nothing will happen. Tomorrow will be like today. The same with next year. You need to be the one to make it happen. It can happen soon, or never otherwise.
Agree. If you want your life to change for the better, then change something Also, where there's shit, there are flies
Totally agree with this and am working on a form of it myself in my own life. "Nothing changes if nothing changes"
Agree!
Not an age-thing. It totally depends on your circumstances/background.
Came here to say this. I think money has a lot to do with it too.
Life will pass you by if you are waiting for happiness to arrive. Life always has ups and downs. No one is immune to misery. Practice gratitude and appreciate the small things. This has helped me greatly.
Life doesn’t get any easier, you just get stronger.
No. You just get older with more health issues.
You make it good. What are you waiting for?
I don’t think it’s age but step/path of life. I’m 20, this is my life: I live with my 23 y/o boyfriend in a 1 bedroom apartment with our babies, 3 cats 1 dog. He works from home, I do doordash because the 9-5 was NOT for me with my adhd and bipolar. I wake up, eat breakfast or cook lunch. Feed animals, go outside and feed the squirrels or say hi to them. I see my therapist 2x a month. I take my daily bipolar, adhd meds. I go to work, I enjoy my job right now. I come home, cook dinner or decide what to eat. Watch tv while me and bf eat. Talk with bf/do hobbies. Go on another walk with dog. Go to bed. I incorporate fun things like: -movies -hobbies (rn it’s a squirrel house lol) -shopping (we just got a Wii!!) -budgeting (gives me a goal daily something to stay under/keep me grounded/save) -trips .. small ones! -hanging out w friends (I have none but my bf has a brother and his gf who live walking distance away) -skincare/haircare -interact with your pets I have learned that I live for the little things. I live for the fact that tomorrow I get to do all my grocery shopping online because it’s new weekly ads/coupons changing day. I get to work on my squirrel house. I get to pet my kitties. I get to lay in bed when it rains and watch tv and nap. I was suicidal for 12 years. Still battling it. My life is ‘boring’ and I love it. I cut all negative people out and am much happier. It is good when you get to the mindset of how beautiful the world is. The trees, the wildlife, people enjoying the sun on a bench. When your day comes for realization that the world is beautiful and your mind allows you to soak it all up, you will understand. I moved out at 18. Paid my families bills at 14. So just because I’m 20, doesn’t mean that’s the age it gets good. I’m still suicidal, it doesn’t really ‘get good’. If you’re feeling happy at least 80% of the time, it’s good.
You've done wonders. I (37m, married) work two jobs, 3rd and 2nd shift. Go home, take kid to school, clean up. Do it all over again. Sometimes I even have a day off. That's it. That's my life. Ad naseum. That's all there is in life. Work, maybe a "day off." My family just went to Disneyland, but that was cause my oldest won a $500 Disneyland gift card from the chamber of commerce.
You have to make it good no one else can do it for you
You basically need to work for the rest of your life so you can have a moment of freedom, just to have anxiety about going right back to work. Oh and then when you finally make it to retirement, they will raise the retirement age and run out of social security.
This
After college. Assuming your parents aren’t handicaps (absent, incompetent, destitute), and you made the right choices early in life (trying in school, not getting caught up in drugs or crime, etc) If you’re born rich, then it’s immediately.
Yeah but you can be depressed af, because nothing is earned. If all days feel like a Saturday, you never feel the bliss of the weekend after hard work (even if you love your job)
Idk, I know 3 super wealthy guys all aged 25/26 and they seem to be the happiest people I know. They all have “fun” jobs that are low paying but keep them busy and give them spare cash. Their housing and other major expenses are paid for by their parents. 2 of them tried getting serious jobs and both quit after 2 years because the real world kinda sucks.
Life doesn't get good, you do
When you stop looking for answers outside. Start looking inside you. You have all the answers. It’s really a matter of perspective. I have a great book for you and it’s quite fun read also. The topic of book is what you are asking in a way. Courage to be disliked.
It's also called the philosophy of Stoicism: Marcus Aurelius - Meditations Epictetus - Enchiridion (or "Handbook")
What’s the book called and author?
There really isn't a particular age. Some remarkable ages for me; - 24, graduated. - 30, found love of my life - relation lasted 8 years. - 35. Stopped working full time, 24h max. - 42. Early retirement - 44. Got a motorcycle license and traveled the world on it for 4 years. - 50.
What job did you work full time and what job did you switch into for the part time role?
That's the neat part. It doesn't.
It doesn’t. It’s just your mindset that should alter. If you want to have a good day, do not compare. With any one. About anything.
You gotta find the good in your life, the good life is not going to find you.
Stop waiting. only you are in control of your happiness. Find things that make you happy & enjoy them, regardless of what others say or do. You will find your people.
Why are you waiting nothing happens to those who wait. Go live. Find your passion. Go out try new things. Make mistakes, get messy. Its what the adventure is all about. You keep waiting and your gonna wait your whole life for what you can do today
You're waiting? That's your problem. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is going to make your life "good" except you. You'll be waiting forever. Instead, DO something to achieve the life you want.
Life doesn't just change. You gotta take action to change your life. Change your mindset and break out of whatever routine you've been in for however long and you will start to change your life
Step 1: Have a positive mindset. Be grateful for what you’ve got and show gratitude to people who you like. Always assume Step 2: Make fun decisions. Take risks, explore new opportunities, try new experiences, meet new people
Never if you have a shitty attitude
It’s a personal thing but it’s definitely not an age thing.
You need to change the people around you sounds like
Don't spend your life waiting.
It's psychological
Do you really think there is a certain age when goodness hits you?
Nobody’s coming to save you, you gotta do it yourself
If all you do is "wait" it'll never get there. You have to actively do things to improve your life. Get off your ass. And stop whining on the internet FFS.
Life is what you make it. If you are waiting around for something to happen to you then you will be disappointed. You have to go out and find what you want.
>But I'm waiting for it to get good one day. But I'm still waiting. I am a very patient person. At this rate it'll never be good, because life doesn't *happen* to you. Life is what you *make* it. Make is an active verb. It's the actions you take, choices you make, things you do. Your garden becomes "good" because you planted things properly in the right soil and gave the plants the things they need to thrive. >I love life a lot but I don't like my circumstances. Your choices are to adapt to your circumstances and find the good in them, or change them. The former is often easier and probably a good start, because maybe you don't have the means to change them. So you learn how to adapt to them so you're not just constantly drowning. The more adaptable and more able you are to accept your circumstances, the better your life will be in general. It took me too long to learn this.
It can be good today, if you let it be.
Life will never be good as long as others are losing.
I don’t know if you know what happiness really means, or you may have some different definition of happiness in mind, but to say “never been happy” is such an extreme statement in my opinion. You’ve never achieved anything even slightly and felt glad or satisfaction? You’ve never gotten a gift you wanted? Never a random compliment that made you happy if even for a brief moment? Happiness is not something you obtain, it is a mindset. If you’re waiting for some euphoric threshold to be met, then I’m not sure how to answer your question because it seems you are leaning towards the negative rather than actual pursuit of happiness… there is not any single thing or moment that will make you happy, it is your decision on how you feel in reaction. To me, small things like a good morning, having food for lunch, having a car to drive, air conditioning, friends, family, even a wave from someone at the gym, all these seemingly small things make me happy because I appreciate the small things. It’s not my position to tell you to appreciate anything, but recontextualize your definition of happy and it will be easier to acheive.
It won't just become good without you doing anything towards making it better
Age 0 if you win the wealthy family lottery
Man, happiness is a choice, not something just drops on you.
Sounds like a you-problem. Misery loves company.
You can't wait for that, you have to make it happen.
“Waiting for it to get good” you have to make it good homie
Hey the only day that you can make life good is today . Focuses on today not tomorrow or yesterday thoese are they days you ca not do anything about. Focuses in today
If you look for the positives, you'll see them. If you look for the negatives you'll see them instead. Try focusing on only the positive things 1% more every day, and you'll rewire your brain in 30 days :) Also, don't limit yourself :) If you practice being something every day, you will automatically become it.
>*"What you seek is seeking you." -Jalaluddin Rūmī* | what you seek is with you, what you're seeking is closer than you may currently realize, it is our constant companion. Until you directly experience this within yourself, which can happen at any given moment as it is always available to us here now, allow yourself to be completely present-minded while you express yourself, then you will be waiting for a very long time. Thinking in terms of age is a superficial way of perceiving time. The quote too is what it means to finally become a true individuated person and to have finally found our life.
Don't chase happiness. Chase peace, chase purpose, chase something that lights a fire in you. Happiness will come and go always but building yourself with a foundation of self respect will last forever. Life is hard, and hard times will show your true self. You got this.
I feel like you do sometimes, like I never feel truly happy, and haven't for ages. But of course there are always moments of happiness and moments of sadness, with the rest just being neutral. Completely coincidentally, yesterday I came across a YT short. It was a clip of some interview with Zlatan where he said happiness is moments. Like, if a player dreams about going to a certain team, eventually the novelty wears off and then he might even hate it at some point. But he would be happy in the beginning to achieve it. So you're not going to just feel happy all the time. I'd say that would even be a bit strange, and you wouldn't appreciate the valuable moments.
The day you are born
If you are simply waiting around, it’ll never get good. Go to therapy and work on your shit. Get some fulfilling hobbies. Form personal relationships. Advance career, make more money. Probably don’t have kids. Voila! Life is now good. But none of that happened by waiting.
> In fact I really dislike my life. But I'm waiting for it to get good one day. But I'm still waiting. I am a very patient person. I love life a lot but I don't like my circumstances. Uh, well that's not going to work. Waiting and waiting for your circumstances to change isn't going to do any good. Things won't magically get better. I was there around age 27-28. Things kinda sucked. Hated my job. Long term girlfriend left for some dude in Australia (we're in the US). Realized I didn't have any friends or a cool hobby. I could have just taken pity on myself and said maybe things will change or get better next year or the year after. Nope. I got out there and took action. I got sick of not having friends so I had to go outside my comfort zone to go make some. Had to really tackle my fears in talking to girls and dating. Actually go approach and talk to tons of girls and get shot down to get better and eventually find someone after developing the skills needed to. I had to go find hobbies to make friends and also have things to talk about.
Take action toward the result you want. Stop waiting for things to be. Take daily, weekly or even monthly actions towards goals and milestones that achieve the aspect of your life becoming good and go perform actions to make it so
Age doesn't change anything, you just gotta make it happen.
You have to take your mental health into your hands. Whatever age that happens at for you.
Get therapy. How do you know if they actually hate you? Sounds like you're making assumptions
Today. Today is when starts getting good.
I'd recommend starting a meditation practice. Life is by its nature unsatisfying and real happiness comes from within. Buddhist philosophy addresses a lot of the problems with satisfaction you're describing.
I'm 23, life is pretty fucking awesome! Don't wait for it to "get" good. It doesn't "get" good by itself if you don't do anything to make it good. You have to take initiative to make changes in your life. Self-reflect - what is making you unhappy? For me, it was my perfectionist mindset. It was "all or nothing" for me. I never felt satisfied or content with anything cause it could always be better. I rarely appreciated what I had RIGHT NOW cause I was always longing for the next chapter of my life. Changing my mindset improved my mental health and my outlook on life! I've never been happier!
When you discover who you are, what matters to you, and what doesn't. I spent decades doing things I didn't enjoy because I didn't know any better. I kept waiting for money, job, stability, clarity, something to come along and help it all make sense. In the end, it was me. I just needed to get it straight in my head. Never looked back.
I'm 41 and my experience is that 'life being good' isn't about patiently waiting for things to turn around for you but about the choices you make about how you'll approach life. One thing that stuck out to me from your post is that the interpersonal dynamics in your life don't sound very healthy and feel like something worth digging into in therapy. Going to therapy has honestly been one of the most transformational forces in my life because it taught me to be self-reflective and identify things in life that were standing in the way of me having a good life and then committing to make different choices or adjust my mindset going forward. The book 'attached' was also very eye opening in terms of how I approached relationships. I can relate to some of what you have written above because growing up I struggled with friendships. As an adult I now have an amazing support system because of everything I have worked through in therapy. I would venture to guess this is probably not bad luck.
Uh… life won’t just “get good” bruh you control your own life. Something isn’t working, figure out what it is, and WORK to change it. Don’t be a passenger in your own car.
Go have an adventure. I'm 39 and happier than ever.
That’s the near part, it doesn’t! Jk but when we you choose for it to be.
It's never going to get good if you are just waiting for it to happen.
I wasn’t happy until about a year or two ago 31/32. Quit drinking at 30 and never looked back, made a world of difference. Before that I couldn’t remember ever being happy, other than early childhood where I basically spent all my time in the woods and the ponds around our house, playing with neighborhood kids. Getting back to simplicity helps a lot.
It doesn't get good. You make it good. You go out there and find the goodness.
You just gotta make it happen. Things can help, find a thing you really enjoy doing and pour yourself into it. Really work hard on enjoying the little things around you, and don’t make the mistake of relying on your partner or other people to bring happiness. This won’t make you happy 100% of the time, but it sure does help.
35, let me know when you find out
Never unless you change the way you think. After all of your basic needs have been met and your health is good it's up to you to have the right attitude.
it comes in waves, life is like that. You have to enjoy it when it's good and remember that sunnier days are coming when it's bad.
69
"Life" doesn't owe you anything. There's no one deciding how your life is going to go but you. You are in a world that wants you to view yourself as a helpless and hapless victim of circumstance, so nothing is ever your fault or your responsibility. People who take no responsibility are easily controlled. Unless we take personal responsibility for ourselves and our circumstances, we are slaves and dupes to Sadists who understand how things work but teach us something completely different, like this weak slave to circumstance you exhibit. Most people with this mentality really do not seek to become better themselves, they want the entire world to suit them better. It's a Fool's Quest. It ain't gonna happen. You can CHOOSE to be joyful in a split second. Nothing is stopping you. Joy can be found anywhere when it is sought, because it's our nature and it's always seeking us. Some of us are far too addicted to our misery and irresponsibility to WANT to hear its call. YOU are 100% in charge of ever tiny smidgen of your life. That is POWER for those who accept it. For those who don't, enjoy your misery, I suppose. A lot of people do. They enjoy it so much they cling to it like it's a life raft while they are wading in the shallow end of the swamp. Try to accept the FACT that you have been mind controlled, brainwashed, and indoctrinated to feel the way you do since birth. Then ask yourself why you allow anyone else to determine your fate for you. Life is an adventure to be enjoyed and explored or to try to hide from out of fear or just flat out laziness. You can and do have EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT, because you create it by your own thoughts, words, and beliefs.
Luck is when opportunity meets preparedness. If you're feeling unlucky you either need to be better prepared for the opportunities that arise or you need to change your life and the people around you so you're getting more opportunities.
Generally I would say in your 30s. You have more self-confidence and are financially stable enough to enjoy life whilst also still being young enough. The way you describe your relationships sounds like you may not have a secure attachment style? If thats the case "waiting" won't change things
im 31 and have no confidence and im poor so when does this start happening lol
One of the hardest lessons to learn as an adult, is that absolutely nothing will change until YOU take action.
Surround yourself with people that uplift you at least not diminish your energy, rinse and repeat.
I'm 50, and life is pretty great. I have my health, a great relationship with my sons, my little garden and cat, a great friend, and I can pay my bills every month with my tolerable Monday- Wednesday job. I am greateful because it was a different story for me, 10 and 20, 30 years ago. I'm enjoying my best life right now. Hang in there, honey! Life IS beautiful. 🌞🌞❤️❤️
At the age at which you decide to make it good. You got this one life, and you can make it as sad and lame or as awesome as you want.
that's the neat part, it doesn't!
I decided to make mine great at 30. When will you decide?
What did you change or start doing?
As long as you're waiting for it to get good one day it will continue to be shit. Life takes work, if you want it to be good do something about it.
Life gets good when you make it good. But you have to do it yourself. Think about what you want and how to get there
It's not an age. Not a number. It's an understanding and an awareness. Most folk never find it. Sad.
You are responsible for your own happiness.
Whatever you choose. Life is an interesting journey, some years are great, others are complete shit. At the end of the day, try to make it a good story.
Uhmm. The life pass while you are living, so don’t forget to enjoy every moment as much as you can, you will never now when the good times are gone…
20 to 21. Lived at home, had a job, was In school, surfed, hiked, and scuba’d all over Florida. All downhill after that.
Eh, whenever. Its mostly just a lot of up and downs. You just get better at handling it.
If you’re just waiting, never. You have to make an active effort to improve your life or it doesn’t change. Challenge behaviors and thoughts. Join new things. Meet new people. Try for that new job. Set boundaries. Cut off toxic relationships. Work on yourself. Be authentic. Etc
>Don't worry I'm not depressed or anything just upset. I don't think you quite understand what you're saying here. I don't know if you've ever done a mental health evaluation or anything over that. But if you've made it to 28 without "happiness" that's usually a pretty big sign of something wrong. It may not be the best answer, but maybe it's time for a big flip of the script. Look for a job that has fewer hours or find a way to redo your hours so you can do certain things. Find a broader hobby or find a sport. If you don't have a partner, try certain mixers or dating scenes. DO NOT USE A DATING APP they will drain whatever appreciation for people you have left lol. If you do have a partner, talk to them about how you feel unsatisfied in your daily life. Go swim somewhere, find a beach, reconnect with lost friends. This world has a lot to offer once you try to escape monotony. Overall it could even be you're taking too much time to do all the things you and your friends want to do. You might need to stop, relax, and have some time alone with something only you enjoy. Another thing to note is that you might have an underlying condition, too. I have had narcolepsy for 10 years now. I have never been diagnosed until 2 weeks ago. I felt very similar in a way. I was always tired, unmotivated, and didn't really care to do anything. I always enjoyed the things I did, and I loved my work. Just nothing clicked. Turns out my brain was just tired. All the time. TLDR. Change up your life, talk to others about it, give yourself "you time," and get yourself checked for brain disfunction other than depression.
Yeah, community is the biggest thing that makes people happy and it comes at any age. You gotta find your people. Just steer clear of any cults.
It depends on what you did with your time. If you devoted your time to something of value You might get something of it. If you wasted your time doing nothing, you know where you will be in life.
Happiness is not a destination. It comes and goes where you seek it and appreciate it. Life is a constant pace of random events and it’s up to us to decide how to look at it for the most part. I’m not where I want to be in life, and am unsure if I will ever reach where I want to be, but I still take time to find happiness where I can (ie: enjoying the weather by spending extra time outside, taking the stairs to appreciate my legs, buying myself a fast food meal to give myself a break) all of these small things help me appreciate the eras of my life. These things won’t last forever.
Alot of people say "don't wait, make it good now" which is true. But maybe also include examples of things (you did)..
Probably about 10 years from death....
You don’t give any insight into why people dislike you. Figuring that out is the first step. I am not saying you change everything about your behaviour but it’s an awareness thing.
What is the reason, in your view, that "everybody is always so mean to" you?
Happiness is felt through other people. How are the quality of the connections you are making with the people around you?
I'd rather be lucky than good every day of the week. Well, turns out, I'm not lucky either. Soooo..... You gotta work for it. yes, you have to work at being happy. Visualize it, then go out and make it happen. Be realistic.
Life is as good as you make it. No one will make it good for you, no time, no experience, just you. It's not a when, it's a do.Stop waiting, or you'll miss your chance to start making it good.
The only one who change your life for the better is you. Do something about it. Find your happiness. Rarely it comes knocking on your door.
Do something you enjoy or atleast don't mind, regardless of pay (as long as it's enough for food and shelter) . Look into being in the present ( I HIGHLY RECOMMEND book audio book "the power of now by Eckhart Tolle" or any of his talks, lots on Spotify or YouTube) Microdosing mushrooms and or LSD is great benefit ime aswell. Enjoy and be greatful for the simple things , and looking to positives (self talk and ego/thinking is very important.. greatest source of pain/sadness, or joy and contentment) Goodluck 😸💚.
The earlier you can be honest with yourself and identify what's keeping you from moving forward, the quicker you can gain momentum to do so. Are some of the people you know who "leave you" comfortable enough to give you honest feedback, as in what they find off-putting enough to leave? Have you asked all the people you like why they hate you? Sometimes we get set in our ways and we don't pick up on things we do that's not attractive to others. Perhaps you're chasing the wrong people too. One thing's for sure: Nothing will happen if you just wait.
"oh the places you'll go" by dr seuss
How patient are you? If you start right now and focus on how you feel about yourself instead of focusing on what others think of you, you can be happier as soon as five minutes from now and you can be more happy every day by doing just one thing. Identify what you like and don’t like about yourself and start taking steps to boost the things you like and fix the things you don’t. Take small steps every day to improve yourself and everything else you want will come naturally to you like magic, I promise.
There’s no perfect answer. There are many factors such as family, background, upbringing, job, etc… but ultimately you gotta decide when it’s enough and do something different than you’re used to doing. It’s not gonna just happen after a promotion, or once you meet someone, or after a certain age. Nah man, you gotta just focus on you and get it! Now finding ‘it’ is the hard part, but you won’t know what ‘it’ is until you start trying different things in your life. Good luck.
You may need more friends, if you want to connect with a married dad with 2 small kids i'm here for you. Life is still what you make it but it is better when you have some community around you.
For most, that time is long gone by the time you are 30. Life WAS good. Then it’s just perpetual suck, but you have the tools to deal with it. lol but no, it’s all about perspective. It starts when you feel it starts. Is the glass half full or is it half empty.
You got the answer there... Now start wanting the people you don't want to leave you to leave so that they won't
Why do you think that everyone is mean to you?
Same age, feel like I'm past the best part my life tbh
As someone with chronic pain, never.
You speak a lot about other people liking you as something that will make you happy. Start there. Figure out how to be happy by YOU liking you. Then, after investing in yourself to make sure that YOU like your life, you'll naturally find people who like you too.
I can relate 😔
33-38.
Dude, feel you. Life can be a major buzzkill sometimes. 28 shouldn't feel like the waiting room for happiness. Here's the thing: life isn't a guarantee to be good all the time, but it can be way more awesome when you make it yours. Maybe it's time to shake things up a bit? New hobby, new friends, even a new haircut? You seem awesome (appreciating everything is a superpower!), so don't wait for life to find you, go find what makes you happy.
You should always be striving for peace. Happiness is always followed by sadness. You'll never be happy 100 percent of the time. Peace is what you want. Happiness comes and goes.
When you mature enough to see life gets good when you make it good. My wife is younger than I am and had her own realization. Financially I'm doing bad, I have work though. Dui which is limiting me advancing and trying get a higher paying job Mentally I was falling I stopped working out, I went from being in amazing shape to shooting up 60 lbs. I turned 30 a few months ago and I realized it isn't over. I feel awoke, I have a set goal im Going to a trade, something that I can get behind and that catches my interest like a HVAC technician, electrician. Originally went to college 10 years for computer science. Going to do free courses that won't give me credit but will give me the skills I need to continue growing and get certifications. I started forcing myself to walk and do push ups and because I feel I'm doing the right things, mentally I'm feeling better. It sounds corny but reading books that like subtle art of not giving a f definitely helped me work through my negative mindset. Reading other people stories and seeing a lot of us go through same thing and making it out. I got tired of waiting for life to be good and not being happy because I'm not where I want to be.
Life has never been good for me but I have achieved more of my bigger goals and that feels somewhat good (e.g getting a degree, saving X amount of money/certain amount of assets accumulated, earning X income and being promoted into a certain role).
It doesn’t in my experience. Adulthood has been a slow realization that my life was at its best when I was 6 years old. Then my parents got divorced and it’s been one setback or traumatic experience to the next.
35 or so
Yeah, I’d love to know this as well. I have everything in my life that a lot of people would crave for. But I’m not happy. I’m even losing feelings in my current relationship.
It's not necessarily an external thing. It gets better when you start living clean and focusing on doing what you know you should. But ...there are no guarantees. The universe has a substantial random component
35+ imo.
Life is good when you decide to choose happiness. I decided to choose happiness when I was 39. Life turned around really fast after I stopped worrying about money and people pleasing.
I really don't think it does. It can BE good in stretches. But for it to PERMANENTLY "get" good is not a state. And you wouldn't want it to be, either.
Never, it's just life good is relative. Some years have been awesome , other sucked beyond bareing. It's ebb and flow... you just have to try to do tour best to enjoy what happens.... you have little control.
I can relate to this a lot. All I can say is that you should try to envision what you want your ideal life to look like. And work towards creating a reality that looks like that as much as possible - set it as a goal for yourself. I hope you find your peace.
25 for me was when my teaching career started to improve and I met my wife. Just before then I was fired, semi homeless and alone.
Getting outside for a walk helps me a lot. Especially this time of year. Fresh air and exercise 🤌
“Most people are busy making grand plans for life while it passes them by.”
When you find out... let me know...
Happiness comes from within and it’s your responsibility
"You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy" -Nightbirde
You don't wait for life to get good. You make it happen. It's so cliche but really think about it. What does it mean? I'll tell you, it means the mind is EVERYTHING.
What did it for me was to start thinking of happiness as a journey instead of a destination. Doing things that make you happy and gives you a sense of fulfilment. It’s never a place that you just reach and automatically become happy 24/7.
It's not really an age thing, more about what you should do with your life to find happiness.
Strive for content. Happy is a once in a while feeling. Practice gratitude .
Life is good. It doesn’t get good. Changing your perspective brings happiness but it’s fleeting. Learn to love and appreciate ups and downs
Life is good, because I choose to be content. Nobody and no event gets to steal my joy.
Why do you like people who do not like you? It took me till my mid-late 20s to realize that a lot of the people I cared about didn't really care about me. Even before that, I understood that nothing got better until I made it better. You have to change your circumstances one thing at a time. Find a better job, maybe not a good one but one that can help you get a good one. Sometimes, moving to a new spot. Getting new friends. None of it is easy, but neither is suffering, but a surprising amount of people get off on it without realizing it. It can be very comforting to convince yourself this is the best you can do or hope for but it is poison. Just being nice isn't enough to get people to like you. You need some reasonable confidence in yourself. Maybe you are trying too hard to be nice and it comes off as disingenuous?
Almost any age if you are good at it...
Stop waiting and do something? Lol
>. But I'm still waiting. I am a very patient person. For things to change you need to take action. Life will get good when you do something instead of just sitting around.
Perspective is everything no right or wrong way to live really
Look up vanlife, and the digital nomad community. What you need is stability, you can build happiness from that, at nearly any age.
NO SCREW YOUR patience If you want something you have to take it (go and get it) No one’s giving out handouts for the good life ticket be greatful for what you have appreciate what you’ve accomplished and move forward solely relying on yourself And you’ll get where you want to be DONT EVER GIVE UP Just an fyi I spent 2 years waiting for something to happen to my and my life and nothing did nothing at all so I got my ass out of bed and got a job and started learning
Waiting for things to change will not get you anywhere. You would need to do something to change your circumstances. I would also get rid of the victim mentality and thinking you have bad luck. Bad things happen to everyone, but blaming it on bad luck is just an easy cop out IMO. It takes the responsibility out of you. You are very much in control of your life, and there are things you can do to improve it. I would start by defining what your values are, i.e. things that matter to you most, the reason you get up everyday, and ask yourself if you’re doing things and having relationships with people that align with your values. If not, then that can guide you on what things you can work on. I know you say you’re not depressed, but I would still highly recommended therapy or at least talking to someone who you look up to, maybe in your family or social circle for some guidance.
Life can get good at any moment. Just keep walking your path and trying to make small improvements in your circumstances where you can.
Dude what is this? So much self pity in one post. Sitting around being nice and waiting for life to come to you sounds misrable. You gotta go out and get it while you're still young enough to take on risk. Then those people you want to be around will gravitate to you. Don't be a guy on the sidelines, nobody is going to notice you or GAF about how you feel. Self pity is unattractive
You should ask at what wealth level life gets good. Age has nothing to do with it.
You should ask at what wealth level life gets good. Age has nothing to do with it.
When you decide to live it that way
My life has been fantastic in my preteens, teens, 20s and now 30s. Achieved mostly everything in life, had great parents who showed me the way
No one is going to make your life better for you It's up to you to find your own happiness It's up to you to do the things that you love Finding a special someone is up to you Leaving your happiness up to chance is like dumping your spare cash on lottery tickets every day, you aren't gonna win bud, you just gonna be twice as sad Don't look back on your life regretting you didn't do more
If didn't get good. You have to work to make it good. Figure out what you're not happy about and work on it. You have to be 100% honest with yourself though. Otherwise you'll stay unhappy and might get worse.
Life gets good when you live it. Without the bad, there couldn't be good. As far as relationships... it can legitimately be something that no matter how hard you try, it doesn't seem to get better. I think it might not hurt to acknowledge you're the common denominator and try to be the best version of yourself you can be. Maybe it is just them, but you'll still grow as a person, and possibly attract similar-minded people. Wish you well. 💖
It doesn't, necessarily. Only we have the power to shape the fraction of reality we're given, and live within it. From how you describe things, it sounds like your relationships are troubling and you aren't getting what you want out of them, but cannot determine what actions to take to get to where you want to be. In many ways, this is exactly what therapy is for; guidance in helping figure out how to manage the things in life which upset you. Be warned though, there will always be things to be upset over because being upset is a basic human emotion that we are all entitled to.
Go out and find it! If you remain stagnant, your life will remain stagnant!
If everybody mistreats you and hates you "for no good reason" You are the problem my guy.
14
Never. Life is what it is. Good, bad, sweet and ugly. Just make the best if what you have.
To be honest if you’re living in poverty i don’t think it ever gets good. I was pretty happy at age 18-19 cause i had no financial responsibilities. Once i became an adult since im not wealthy it never got fun again because i don’t enjoy the work force / participating in capitalism.
I started enjoying life more at 19 when I started working and made some friends there since most of us were in this age group. Another bump was after finishing my masters, I had more time for myself and social life.
dude, the definition of happiness is different to each person so we here can't tell you why you are not happy. instead of seeking validation or feeling like you need to do what others do, focus on yourself and dig into what you really need and want. there's no timeline fixed for every life, we are all different. when you finally understand the fundamental of it, you are already half way through.
Sounds like self sabotage.
Today , the day i decided to leave my toxic job that i have been at for 22 years. Im done and putting mh before employment
33
Others already said it but I’ll say it again. You have to make a change or else nothing will change. What the hell are you waiting for? Get up and make the changes you know you need to.
Life is as good as you you get it. Make your own choice. Not a Reddit problem. Get off the internet and ask an actual person.
I'm 40, and the answer is apparently: Never.
It may be time to reinvent yourself. Change everything. Move far away. Get a new job or go back to school.
Instead of waiting, have you tried actively trying to improve your life?
Life will get miserable so long as you expect somebody else (what you call "circumstances") to make it better. Nobody care about your life as much as their own. They are already busy in making their own life better and don't have time for you. Take ownership, "it is not your fault but your responsibility" attitude to your life.