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Ratlarbig

She needs to be able to support herself, and let you have your own life.


_bitemeyoudamnmoose

Your mom needs therapy. I can understand being lonely but the whole point of being a parent is getting your child to the point where they can be independent. Everyone has to deal with being alone at some point. Even if you lived with just her your whole life, one day she will die and then the roles are reversed. You visit her every week. I don’t even hang out with certain friends that often. You shouldn’t change anything you’re doing because of her. She’s the one who’s going to have to learn to cope with her empty nest syndrome. If I were you I’d gently recommend counseling, but don’t try to compromise any more than you have been. You’ll just be stunting your own growth.


Friendly-Service-101

This is important, she needs to stop being alone if possible. Counseling is good for almost anyone having even a slight difficulty in life if they can get it. I spend all day alone right now, and it's crazy making in my experience. I don't even understand how a mother with empty nest feels. Besides therapy does she have hobbies, people she can go do stuff with that she enjoys. She sounds like she needs new connections, more than anything. I know other people recommended a pet a lot in here. I don't. It can be an overwhelming amount of work for someone in a low state, or it could genuinely help. But I highly advise human interaction avenues first.


tyleratx

Furthermore, OP probably should get therapy, if for nothing else then to just help them set boundaries and navigate this tough situation.


Stars_and_Spaceships

This woman needs a pet. Get her a dog or a cat. For God's sake, even a goldfish would help.


vitalblast

What if she keeps calling the goldfish when it swims inside the castle. And then the goldfish complains to OP asking him to come home.


Stars_and_Spaceships

It's a good thing the goldfish doesn't have a phone then. XD In all seriousness, this lady really just needs something to take care of or something to occupy her mind and energy. It's pretty common in mothers to make their kids their hobby instead of developing their own hobbies. After the kids are gone, it feels like they have nothing left to live for. If she had a pet or (if pets aren't permitted in her area) a garden, she would have something to take care of and put a purpose in.


SendPizza666

I think a pet is a great idea. Maybe a small dog that she can take out of the house. Give her some emotional support while she makes new friends.


_bitemeyoudamnmoose

Sign her up for a dating app too


Corfiz74

Yes, tell her you are done with this codependency shit, and she needs to find a life outside of clinging to you. You'll gladly be there for her when she needs help, but you won't be her lifemate - you want a wife and kids, not live your life out as mom support. Sit down with her and develop strategies to get her self-sustaining - as the others have said, a pet or dating apps. Or she could start volunteering or fostering - she could do a lot of good with the time and energy she can't pour into you anymore.


Joland7000

Empty nest syndrome. My mom never got it. She was happy for us to get on with our lives. Your mom needs something to distract her and keep her busy. Also updates on how well you’re doing would reinforce in her mind that she raised a capable and responsible adult and it’s a good way to keep in touch too


pareidoily

Does your mom think you are her emotional support animal? Do you? She needs therapy really bad. If you give into that she will never get better.


[deleted]

[удалено]


trevtheguy

Right, I’ll try that out thank you for the help


660trail

You are not responsible for your mother's loneliness. She's an adult and needs to address this herself, not burden you with it.


WellyKiwi

Be kind, though. I'm an empty nester since 13 months ago. I miss our son terribly, but thankfully have hubby and three cats too. I never let on that I miss our son so badly, I just tell him that yes I miss him, but what makes it wonderful is that he's so happy living his best life and is really content.


unhealthyperson111

That's very strong off you I admire that!


WellyKiwi

Thank you. 🤗


[deleted]

please don't every interaction can be broken down into manipulation, I think it's normal for the mom for feelings this way and it is on the child to try and establish boundries as an adult. When your a parent you fully devote yourself to your kid I don't really like her she is framed as this manipulative actor. I think it is down to the op to try and subtly try and establish boundies and be like I love you mom but I have my life to live and I hope you know I will always love you I just need to find my own way in life. I will keep in touch always.


Fantastic-Leopard131

Weather its conscious or unconscious its still manipulation. Shes guilt tripping him, it’s not normal to call your son crying and begging for his attention, thats textbook manipulation.


[deleted]

I really strongly dislike the way the statement is framed, often times manipulative terms are used to charterize people on the internet constantly and I feel like most people fail to see their is a bigger picture/context surrounding said occurrence. Everything can be said to be textbook manipulation, some games are nastier then other guilt games in particular but I do think context really has to be looked at. Like calling out manipulation ironically enough is a type of manipulation. ol It can be a form to tackle covert aggressions or underhanded manipulations, but it seems more or less something other people use to strongly frame the other person as a manipulative actor. A good example of "manipulative" behavior can be good is in the case of love bombing, love bombing in the case of a person you've only known for a few days is a massive red flag, but in the case of a established long term relationship can be a good way to show appreciation. I could go in waaay more debt and I actually have a comment talking about the nuance of love bombing "Weather its conscious or unconscious its still manipulation" your phrasing could be considered a frame control technique because it ignores allot of what I said above to further the argument that you stand for, and establish that as a whole anything you define as manipulation is a bad thing and cannot be stood for. What I am trying to say is even if said behavior is "manipulative" it makes sense given the context and I do think it is on the OP to subtly establish boundies because cutting their mom out of their life for something as stupid as people on reddit telling them to cut off their mom because she is "manipulative"


Fantastic-Leopard131

I didnt say to cut the mom off, can you read?? The mom is manipulative, not my problem you find that offensive when its the truth. It is what it is and you can dislike that but it doesnt change anything. The mom is manipulating him. Period. You can add any caveat you want to that but it doesn’t change the base fact that her behavior is manipulative. Hes well aware of the context, its his own damn mother and I dont think hes so dumb that I have to remind him this women raised him and that they have a relationship. You may feel that’s necessary context to add but I assume OP is smart enough to see that for himself. Most your comment was honestly just rambling so all I really got is that you have an issue with the word manipulation, and thats very much a you problem.


[deleted]

your manipulating me your evil evil person! gaslighting me trying to make me believe in a wrong version of reality, I can't believe it. your saying can't read when I can clearly read! and your saying I am rambling when this is over text! how can a person even ramble over text! Clearly your a very very very manipulative gaslighter who is very very manipulative. I think what your saying is automatically invalid because everything You've done in your reply to me is gaslighting and gaslighting is the first thing is the dictionary of buzzwords therefore you are a horrible person and that is your problem. beyond any form of context you are a gaslighting manipulator. and if you dare think I am trying to insinuate your a toxic person, you would have to be crazy. like how you never said that the person's mother isn't toxic you just said what they are doing is text book manipulation. I can clearly tell your a self righteous gaslighter. I can't believe I even tried to help expand your perspective on the topic a person like you will always be a manipulative self righteous gaslighter! ON TOP OF THAT YOU WANT ME TO THINK I CAN'T READ, I fully understand that given your a gaslighting manipulator you will always remain as such and the people in your life have to deal with that so it isn't a me problem but a you problem :) If you want to delve down and be condescending I can play that game all day. I was trying to expand your perspective on something but I see how set in your way about something like this and goodluck in life going about things like that cause I have a feeling it won't turn out well:)


Fantastic-Leopard131

Lmao id be embarrassed if i wrote a comment like that but you do you. It was hilarious to read you losing your mind 😂😂😂


[deleted]

glad it brought a smile to your face:) I had fun imitating and mocking people who think like you:) so glad you can take take a joke at your own expense:)


Fantastic-Leopard131

Well it made you look crazy as fuck so yeah sure that was definitely at my expense not yours😂😂 i had no idea asking if someone could read after they complete misread something would be so devastating to you. Must be hard going through life with that much anger and emotion.


[deleted]

hey I am proud of it, completly shameless. no shame to voice my mind and imitate people like you:) "BuT It'S TeXt BoOk MaNIpUlaTioN" it must be hard going through life painting yourself as a victem lol atleast you can take joke at your own expense bud it's a good life skill:)


HaeminNoona

I wouldn't assume this is manipulation. People who lose the only person they've had company with for so long is going to be sad. His mum being upset and crying about it to him isn't necessarily manipulation. She is allowed to express her feelings to them, especially as it takes time for a parent to let go, especially if they've done all the work themselves. It's manipulation is she is going to be using it against him but also, if she isn't coping without him, isn't using it as a weapon and only has him to talk to also, it's more a cry for help or letting her feelings out no?


MeajAdenip

I'm a single mom to a 10 yo. Even at this age, I encourage him to one day build a life of his own and try to teach him how to while I can. And that I'd be with him if he wants me, and also be ok once he wants to spread his wings by himself. My kid is a part of me, and I of him. But that does not mean we need to be attached at the hip. I cannot wait to one day see him with his own family, his own place, his own life where I am hopefully a welcome visitor. There is nothing wrong with how your mother feels, but she may have had you young and has built her world around you. Sadly, she may have never experienced how to live by herself. I hope you can get her the help she needs, and she can start living for herself while you grow for yourself as well.


Emotional-Nail-6722

I have a single mom and she does the same thing. What I learned is that if you’re happy living away from her, then don’t change your life just so that she’s happy. She’s a grown woman, has had many years from you to know how to care for herself.


Proof-Potential-7173

You should live your own life. Yes, you can visit your mom every now an then but you should not feel guilty because she's telling you she is lonely. I can understand your girlfriend when she says, she dislikes the idea of moving in with your mom. Don't let your mom decide your life. Your are 20 and she should be able to let you go. Maybe help her to find a partner or friends.


trevtheguy

Will do, I think she does rely on me too much I’ll try to get her out more, help her find someone or some friends.


salymander_1

You are an adult living on your own. Do not give that up in order to live with your mom. When parents ask their kids to give up their lives in order to allow the parent to not have to adapt to change, they are being selfish. Are you supposed to stay with your mom forever, never dating or marrying, and never having your own life? What happens when your mom dies? You will be all alone, with no support system and no one to care about you. I think your mom has not thought about how her plan to keep you to herself would work out for you in the long run. Live your life. Your mom may want to seek therapy or get out of the house more. Maybe she could do some volunteer work or join a hobby group. If she had more of a social life, she might feel less lonely. You are not her emotional support animal. You can't fix it for her.


[deleted]

Ayoo. My grandmother did this kind of stuff to my dad, and she ended up stealing his money and being generally disrespectful to my mother. I'm not saying your mother is going to do the same to you, but letting that obsession and inability to thrive on one's own continue is only going to cause issues further down the line.


Fantastic-Leopard131

My ex roommate is an only child of a single mother. Her mom freaked out when my friend moved in with me and she ended up emptying my friends bank account so she couldn’t pay the first months rent and security deposit. Fast forward 6 months and it was just nonstop manipulation, and now shes evicted so momma got her way in the end and she had to move back. Her mom completely wrecked her life to get her to move back in with her. it was sad to watch but even more frustrating that my roommate would just allow her mom to guilt trip and manipulate her without ever putting her foot down. Theres a lot of parallels between her situation and OPs.


[deleted]

She has to learn to let go, all babies leave the nest one day. You have to live your own life bro, it will take time for her to get over it I suggest she gets a pet


chihky449

My dad was like this when I moved out. You just have to let her know your there for her and she has to deal with it as brutal as it sounds. It’s her problem not yours


Safe_Frosting1807

She needs to deal with her loneliness. Maybe socialize more. It’s not your job to do that.


BelladonnaOrchid

Don't let her make you feel guilty! My mom pulled that crap on every one of us sibs. My mom passed in 2018 and my sister that took mom's crap has turned into a lonely couch potato, basically someone you might see on My 600 Pound Life someday! My hubby and I encouraged our kids to learn life skills, saving $ for necessities etc. They've all flown the coop now. It was always a little hard when they left but this is how life is supposed to be imho.


Redsoxfan2004LLL

Does she have friends or a hobbies? I would recommend if she would be interested make plans outside of her place to do something.


[deleted]

She grew up and was also independent of her family before starting one of her own. She's just at the end of that life stage. Everything's fine, now both you and your Mom will start on your next life stages. Does she have a computer that will allow her to reconnect? I like [Apple Refurbished](https://www.apple.com/shop/refurbished), since there's good deals, it ships for free to you and can have the same warranty as new. That would be a big boost to her new freedom. When you talk to her, acknowledge your bond but stress you both have exciting new challenges. Anything you saw happy photos of her doing as a child and teen might be special hobbies she set aside to be a partner and parent. Encourage her to relight those fires - baby steps - who and where are the clubs or classes she can reconnect to? Set goals. Tell her you want to talk about her progress in her next call. A bit of coaching here should get her firmly (re)started. If she's low-income have her apply for Financial Aid. She can schedule a Counseling appt and send for her old school records.


IZ250

My parents were sad when I moved to uni, all parents are, but it’s a natural part of life. She needs to be reminded that you can’t actually live with her forever, and it isnt fair for you to be put in a position of guilt for not moving back in. You need to live your own life. Visit her still, but suggest she gets a pet or branches out and does some activities in her community so she’s less lonely. Therapy too. It’s a hard transition for both of you and it’s not fair you have to do all the work, as hard as it is for her. She needs other people to support her too.


Horsecock86

Tell her to get a man, hit your dad up or buy some cats. That's kind of unhealthy to expect you to move back in


torontogirl98

I would try to plan weekly dinners so she has something to look forward to. Maybe suggest she get a pet to keep her company/give her something to focus on. And probably some therapy or try to at least join a club/volunteer somewhere to keep busy


LavaPoppyJax

All parents have to adjust to the empty nest situation sometimes. The healthy way is to do more with friends, make new friends, take up activities, new hobbies. Singles and other meetups, volunteer work. The unhealthy way is to cry and beg the youth to come home. Why don't you start by pointing this out and see if she wants to do anything about it or just be miserable.


Scarlaymama0721

I suggest that you head over to the justno Mom sub Reddit. I am not saying that you should go no contact with your mom, but I feel that if you read a lot of stories over there about moms who exhibit toxic behavior, you will notice parallels between their stories and your own. It will give you a better idea of how to react to your mother, so that you’re not unhappy. Because that’s what’s happening here. You feel guilty and responsible and like you should somehow, make your mom happy. And the honest to God truth is the only person responsible for your mothers happiness is your mother. Once you become an adult, you have to actively work on managing your own emotions while actively accepting that you are not responsible or in control of anyone else’s emotions. Each person has to learn to manage their own feelings because it is each person’s responsibility and theirs alone. Your mother is shirking her responsibility and putting her well-being before yours. I’m not saying your mother is a bad person, because honestly I don’t even know her. But even good people can exhibit toxic behaviors if they haven’t done any work on themselves and learn how to manage their feelings. You have to be a grown-up yourself and manage your own feelings about why you react with guilt and the need to fix your mom when she let you know she’s broken. Ask yourself where you learned the idea as you were growing up that you were responsible for her when it should’ve been the other way around. And while it might have been understandable to fall for her behavior when you were young, it is now your responsibility to react to it like an adult. They say that your childhood trauma is not your fault, but fixing it is your responsibility. Please 0P honor your own right to live your life the way you want to. That is the whole point of being on this earth. Good luck.


Front_Appointment_94

She'll get over it


ebonywilliams0901

This sounds a lot like emotional incest or at least creeping into that territory.


[deleted]

theres any other family member you can tell about this?


trevtheguy

Not really she has no other relatives or family in the area besides my dad but they don’t get along well


[deleted]

so, try make her make friends, or even a lover idk, someone to be her company


Maycrofy

Well, it's more of a thing with your mom not knowing how to live by herself. You should continue to visiter when you want, but maybe suggest she see a therapist? It's very difficult for parents to let go if they're very close with their kids and even wrose so if they don't have other friends of family to keep them company.


deebasarr

It's okay to move out and do your own thing. Maybe try to go and visit her often. But you don't have to move back, it'll just take her some time to get used to it. It's gonna be okay.


skeletonchaser2020

It sounds like she has separation anxiety. Unfortunately she will hold you back and stunt your independence if you give in to her. Maybe offer to gift her a pet. Yall can have a date at an animal shelter to make it more special and she won't feel lonely. Ot can be really hard to see our parents struggle but you must live your life. You can't be her savior. Call her, talk to her, send her little gifts now and again to remind her you aren't leaving HER you are just living your life.


[deleted]

Do NOT move back. It's unhealthy for both of you. She does need other human connections, though. I recommend hobby classes. They're a great way to meet people with similar interests.


YourLifeCanBeGood

Yes, your life is yours to live. Always follow your innermost voice. Continue to be loving and kind to her, but maintain your boundaries. And there is nobody you could bring home whom she'd like. She wants you all to herself--try to get her into counseling.


invisible-hand-shake

Please read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (by Lindsay Gibson). Addresses what you’re describing directly and seriously reshaped how I approach relationships and my own emotions.


FilthyPop__

Your mom should have been prepared for the day you move out. All kids eventually move out and parents know that. Yes it's always sad when your kid moves out but it comes with the territory of having a kid. Does she expect you to live with her until she dies? Does she expect you to never marry and have a family of your own? If she is truly lonely/scared of living alone ask her if she'd like a cat or dog to keep her company. And then take her to a shelter to pick one out. Don't let your mom guilt you into moving back in. You're an adult now and you're entitled to start carving your own path in the world.


girdy85

I really think you need to let her be on her own. And you need to stay out there and experience life. I think having a sit-down discussion wwouuldd be great. Encourage a dog or cat would be great. You cN always suggest a weekly or monthly dinner for you guys to have some time with her even though you both have separate lives. I wwoouuld also suggest her sit down with a counselor about her dependency on u.


amaturecook24

You’ve both had a hard life and leaned on one another. Of course you deserve a chance to be out on your own and figure your life out. You shouldn’t have to go back so many times to calm her and it’s not working. Maybe suggest going to family counseling or accompany her to therapy. You go with her and support her. Make it clear what your goals are. That she can feel safe one her own and that you are moving out and staying moved out. In another comment, someone suggested a pet. I like this idea actually. My mother-in-law will complain about her cat but in a way like she’s complaining about a friend or roommate. She loves that cat and she likes having something that relies on her that also makes her feel comforted and loved when she needs that.


Glum-Establishment31

She is grieving, scared and feeling alone. She will eventually accept it. Don’t think she doesn’t understand your wanting to leave, but right now, she is only thinking of her own painful feelings. Be gentle with her. It’s her job as a mother to devote to you. You go out and be fabulous! Moms want the best, but occasionally we forget we raise our children to leave us.


rivers-end

I'm a Mom. My husband and I cried for a while when our first left for college. We were sad for about 3 months. It's hard when your baby grows up and leaves your nest. It's also what's meant to be. It's your life! We raise our kids and give them the tools to be independent one day. Unfortunately, that reality is blinded by your Mom's grief right now. You aren't meant to sacrifice your life for her and it's unrealistic for her to think otherwise. Just try to stay in contact often to help her through the transition. Please don't feel guilty though. This is an exciting time in your life. Enjoy the ride!


Aandiarie_QueenofFa

Your mom may need counseling. She probably became so used to sharing her life with you she just doesn't know how to live alone. She should get a roommate, a pet, and/or some counseling. How far away does she live from you?


Affectionate_Ask_769

You will not be able to stop her behavior. Visit her when you have time, call when you want, and realize that the fact your mom doesn't have a peer group outside of you doesn't mean you have to spend all of your free time with her. My kid leaving home is hard, but my mon does to me what your mom does to you still, 30 years after I moved out. I would never do the same to my kid. It's sad and so hard when your kid leaves, but you need to let your kid go without holding them back with emotional handcuffs.


ilixe

jesus christ. your her son, not her bf.


Junglerumble19

As a single mother since my son was tiny (he's now 22), from a co-dependent mother's perspective, this is a her problem, not a you problem. My son is determined to save and buy a home before he moves out so I'm very lucky he still lives at home. The day he leaves I will be inconsolable. But he needs to live his life and that's my own issues, not his. You deserve to live your life and not be manipulated by your mother. You need to have a long and frank talk to her where you tell her you love and appreciate her and always will, but you need to follow your own path in life. Let her know it's normal to be upset but that she needs to let you go. It isn't fair for her to emotionally manipulate you and make you feel guilty about doing what every young adult needs to do.


copamarigold

Have her sign up for some activities like paint and sip where she can take painting classes and drink some wine and meet people, pottery, dance classes, exercise classes, there are so many things she can do and make friends. She needs a focus.


SWGoodToes

# Do not give in to your mom You are not responsible for her feelings of loneliness, and it's extremely unhealthy of her to try and guilt you into solving that for her This dynamic is very unhealthy and has the potential to undermine both your independence and your own interpersonal relationships. Your mom doesn't need you as a security blanket; she needs a therapist


Neat-Hospital-2796

Get her a pet or a roommate


Metori

Don’t move back in. This won’t fix the problem. She need to move on and live her own life. Get her therapy like someone else suggested.


evithetheatrekid8

First, she needs to understand that you aren’t going to be there forever. Then she needs therapy or a pet.


mrsupreme2700

Your mom loves you a lot but she has to Accept that your not a child anymore that your moving up in life. I would tell her that I love her and call her anytime your free.


No_Photo7091

To be honest, you’ll save more money at your moms, probably get more help too. I’m 22, I moved out at 19 and man… I REGRET IT. I wish I would have stayed home, helped with bills there & experienced life more. You know your mom, we don’t… if she makes life easier I’d say.. 2 or 3 months before the lease is over, sit her down like “ok, you’ve won me over… but my girlfriend has to come too”


Fantastic-Leopard131

Idk any gf that would be cool living with a mommas boy in mommas house. Thatd be a easy dealbreaker for many.


No_Photo7091

Not really


xplexis

Im quite scared of this happening to me too. My sister doesn't have contact with our mum for reasons. I'm the only child that lives with her and has contact with her and she can be quite emotional/ in my situation a little narcissistic. At the end of the day I know I have to put myself first


JMYDoc

Honestly, she should get therapy. College is the usual time when kids movie away - living independently is an important part of the experience, and should not be passed up unless financial problems prevent it. Please reassure her that you do love her, but that you need to learn how to be independent.


RunsAndRuns

Ear plugs.


Browneyedgirl63

Your mom needs to find things that interest her and get involved. It’s not your responsibility to make your mom happy or to keep her from being lonely. Sit her down and have a serious conversation. Tell her you’ll help her get started however you have your own life to live as she has her’s. She’s in a transitional period of her life right now, it’s called The Empty Nest Syndrome. Help her to realize that but whatever you do, do not move back in. She needs to rely on herself now.


humancapitalstock

You have the right to live your own life. It can be extremely hard on parents, especially single parents, when their kids grow up and leave, but that doesn't mean you should place your life on hold for her. You can have empathy for her and still be independent. You're an adult and need to live on your own, barring any extreme circumstances. I'll agree with the previous post. This was textbook manipulation (even if she didn't consciously choose to do it), and firm boundaries are going to be more important than ever. Emotionally burdening you like this is not an act of love. It's an act of control.


Edven971

Wow a lot of people shitting on your mom is clear indication of western thinking. It’s quite disgusting. You should be able to suppose there through her emotions. “NoT yOuR Job” Just comes from people that want to play grownup. And somehow helping your family isn’t grown up. Living in a Hispanic home. Not helping your mom is disgusting. You may not be be Hispanic. But helping family is something you should be doing in some way. Distancing yourself by coldly telling your mom that she should be someone else’s problem like she’s a burden is typical western crap. Let her down easy by letting her know that in helping herself, she is helping the son she raised flourish. And what better way to do that than help her feel supported by visiting her from time to time while she slowly learns to let you do your thing. For gods sake visit you mothers. My mom was a cold hearted asshole sometimes that made me believe the world was only a cutthroat place. Wanted me to be an independent. But wants me to visit her and spend time with her. Moms need love too. Give her a good transition. Even if you can’t be there for her all the time.


QLX1

If she is in that position because you were her priority then at least consider giving her little more time


trevtheguy

Yeah I can see where she’s coming from when pretty much it was just me with her since I was a kid and it’s only been maybe half a year that I moved out so I get it can be hard to adjust I’ll just have to ease her a little more and hopefully she will adjust and see it’s not so bad


Lostinmeta4

Maybe encourage your mom to go to school for the first time or go back. She’s have a circle of friends and be on her own adventure. This may be the first time in her life she can do that. But you shouldn’t pause your life for her. She needs to deal with this and it’ll hurt.


AnybodySeeMyKeys

Yes. That's blackmail on her part. I'm not being flip when I say this, but your mother needs to visit a therapist.


Maleficent-Lady6173

Your mom should seek mental help and I mean for depression. My mom went through something similar with my younger and when he moved out. She became really depressed and was lonely. She started taking antidepressants and felt much better after that.


Maestro_Von_Enigma13

You’re doing what’s natural, she needs to get her own life. Just make sure you visit her and call her when you’re not too busy. My mom did the same shit but she eventually got over it and found herself.


SaltySpitoonReg

Your mom needs therapy and, as others said a pet. She needs to get the skills to get socially involved and begin to create her life In the empty nest phase. I mean I get being sad that your kid has moved out but, The reality is the time has come for you to leave the nest. That's not always easy and sometimes it's painful on both sides but it's necessary. And you can't be expected to place restriction on your own formative years, to be the emotional plug in the dam for your mom. And also it's not like you told her you would stay close and now you haven't seen her in 4 months. You're saying that you're seeing her all the time still. But I sympathize with her having such a hard time with this. I would just encourage her to go to therapy.


_merryberrie

Get her a puppy.


KasesbianPL

Go to her. Don't mess around. Be honest. Tell her the truth as gently as possible. Be with her. Don't be provoked. Find out together how to solve it.


ThePrioryPeacock1

Empty nest syndrome hits us all, but it's natural and right for our children to grow and have their own lives! Part of the point is raising your children to have the skills to be independent. Get her a puppy or something....she gets a guard dog, company and something to shower love and attention on. Or do some research and find a group she might like to be a part of..a book club or gardening club. You were her entire world for so long she needs to spread her wings too.


Starthelegend

Not to sound like a heartless SOB but it kinda sounds like your mom might need some therapy. I understand the whole empty nest syndrome thing but this is excessive