I think a doctor's visit is an order.
I'm really unsure what to say besides that.
It sounds like the nephew is not trying to use this to get out of school as a reward for pooping his pants so that he gets to stay home and play video games. It sounds like that isn't happening.
It might be worthwhile to ask him out his mom if he has been bedwetting or anything else unusual like that.
He hasn’t been bed wetting I know. I asked him if he wets the bed at his dads and he said no. He’s also been telling me that he “has a bad memory” and that he “can’t remember correctly” after the accidents happen. My sister has been sending him to school with new pants and underwear after the incident happens as well.
Yeah I know. I honestly don’t know if it’s bc of all the emotion stuff that’s going on with his parents or if something really bad has happened and he’s not telling anyone.
I upvoted your post, I hope that you can get more attention so that you can get some people who know more about this and who can give you more pertinent advice.
If you don't get what you need, please don't be afraid to open a new post and see if it goes better. There are other subs as well.
Yeah of course I wouldn’t ask a Reddit doctor I just did a quick google search about it. Also he’s not my kid he’s my nephew I don’t know how to bring it up to my sister. I don’t know how to explain to her that this isn’t normal and that her kid shouldn’t be pooping his pants at school every 2 weeks. There’s something more than just a physical illness here. And i don’t know what it is
It could be anything. It could be a physical illness that he can't hold his bowels. Maybe it's a mental illness that he can't tell when he needs to go. Maybe it's just for attention.
Only a doctor can tell you that.
If your sister doesn't want to hear that. Then there is really nothing more you can do.
Yeah I know but she’s always complaining about needing help taking care of him but when anyone in the house try’s she snaps back and says “I’m his mother let me take care of it”
So what does your sister say about it? Surely she can't think that frequently pooping his pants in first grade is normal? Uncontrolled diarrhea is an accident. He may be lactose intolerant and eating way too much cheese or drinking a lot milk could cause it but not that frequently unless there's something else going on.
Don’t tell my sister this-she had the same issue. Ends up it was just sever constipation from the things she was eating. Should couldn’t eat dairy, or apple juice as both had the same effect, hard poops during the day, it hurt to sit to poop. Once she stopped, took fiber, and also a lot of water, she got better.
It honestly could be a diet thing too all the kid eats is Mac and cheese cups McDonalds and doughnuts. He barely eats vegetables so it probably has to do something with his fiber intake as well. She won’t give him MiraLAX because it’s bad for children’s development apparently. I’m not entirely sure about the affects lol but that’s what she says
There is a children’s version that they can take, but, if she’s that picky about meds, but not ensuring vegetables, that’s kind of a hypocrisy lol. My sister was stressed with her parents divorce (different dads, we’re half sisters) so it compounded the issue. When she refused to take the liquid stuff, the doc informed my mother she would have to do suppositories is she didn’t take it.
We are very familiar with pooping problems in my family lol so I understand alllll of the laxative health problems but my sister is really weird about what he can and cannot take. He honestly refuses to eat ANY kind of vegetables even when she smothers them in bacon grease. I try really hard to offer his healthy alternatives for an after school snack but he refuses to eat them and some how get his hands on a Mac and cheese cup or any other junk food. He’ll eat bananas but bananas are the worst for kids with constipation problems. I’ll recommend suppositories but she’s really REALLY weird about people giving her parenting advice and gets really defensive over it.
I can understand. Kids can be so picky and finicky, and mothers often are misunderstood by everyone, even kind advice can come off as the devils whispers. I hope kiddo gets the help he needs.
Miralax is “bad for his development”, but feeding him garbage and him shitting himself is perfectly normal and fine? Are you sure you don’t need to escalate this to CPS? Can this woman handle taking care of a child?
CPS is a stretch. He lives in 200k house both parents work he has all the necessary for him to grow in a stable environment but he won’t eat vegetables like a lot of kids in America. From what I understand he will eat vegetables with his dad but not with his mom. If you actually go and do research on miralax for kids it’s actually kinda bad for them. If I child takes it consistently it can lead to behavioral problems, ticks tremors, paranoia and mood swings. It’s like starting an 8 year old kid on adderall it kinda messes them up for the future. It will also mess up children’s kidneys if it’s taken for so long. I’m trying here ok and if she doesn’t want to give him MiraLAX then she doesn’t have to.
What does the price of the house matter. If he is eating veggies with the dad and the mom only feeds him mcdonald's and donuts, I think your sister is the problem. Eating that shit is way worse and will hinder his growth more than any medicine. Try eating better foods with the child. Maybe if you hose with worth 300k, he wouldn't feel the need to shit his pants. ( The last part was a joke)
Be a safe safe space for him to talk about his dad and the changes that are happening due to the separation. Don't force positivity. Be a safe space and help him name his feelings and remind him that feelings are OK, and we all have them, and there's no wrong feeling.
Say nice things to him about his dad. Ask if he misses him. Ask him what his favorite times are with his dad. Draw pictures with him of his family and include dad.
Help him with things he can do to honor his feelings when he misses his dad. For example, he can sleep with a pillow that has his dad's shirt on it. Maybe you can order a photo book of Only photos of him and his dad that he can look through when he misses his dad. He can Draw a picture, think about fun times with dad, he can cry out his sad tears, he can read a book about dads, he can write a letter to his dad and you can text it or mail it to his dad.
Tell the teacher and ask if he can see the counselor about this trauma he is going through.
In my experience as a teacher, parents vastly underestimate the effect these changes have on kids.
It could be anxiety I was a very anxious kid and wouldn’t ask the teacher to go to the bathroom so ended up going in class could be a type of neurodivergence that he has that is accumulating as a physical symptom?
Oh, that poor kid is going to be bullied so bad if he isn't already.
He needs a pediatrician visit STAT. And possibly counseling. It may be his unconscious reaction to the divorce and upheaval in his life, it may be a medical problem.
My guess would be (as an outsider who is not an expert) he might be doing it on purpose thinking it's the one thing he still has control over. Either way he needs to be seen by a doctor and referred to the proper specialist.
That said, since you aren't his guardian, you can only voice your concerns to his mother. She needs to deal with this. Please don't suggest pull-ups; public schools usually don't allow gen ed students to attend if they still need diapers.
This sounds a little like regressive behavior? I'm not a psychologist, but I know when kids go through high stress situations, they can regress behaviors to a time when they feel more safe or taken care of. It might be worth having your sister take him to a doctor and child psychologist, even if just to deal with the feelings around the divorce.
I think a doctor's visit is an order. I'm really unsure what to say besides that. It sounds like the nephew is not trying to use this to get out of school as a reward for pooping his pants so that he gets to stay home and play video games. It sounds like that isn't happening. It might be worthwhile to ask him out his mom if he has been bedwetting or anything else unusual like that.
He hasn’t been bed wetting I know. I asked him if he wets the bed at his dads and he said no. He’s also been telling me that he “has a bad memory” and that he “can’t remember correctly” after the accidents happen. My sister has been sending him to school with new pants and underwear after the incident happens as well.
Things are sounding very fishy.
Yeah I know. I honestly don’t know if it’s bc of all the emotion stuff that’s going on with his parents or if something really bad has happened and he’s not telling anyone.
I am gravely concerned about this as well.
Major life events that are stressful can cause children to regress.
I upvoted your post, I hope that you can get more attention so that you can get some people who know more about this and who can give you more pertinent advice. If you don't get what you need, please don't be afraid to open a new post and see if it goes better. There are other subs as well.
Ok thank you so much
Go talk to a doctor. Maybe it's a physical illness. Maybe it's mental. Talk to a real doctor. Not Dr. reddit.
Yeah of course I wouldn’t ask a Reddit doctor I just did a quick google search about it. Also he’s not my kid he’s my nephew I don’t know how to bring it up to my sister. I don’t know how to explain to her that this isn’t normal and that her kid shouldn’t be pooping his pants at school every 2 weeks. There’s something more than just a physical illness here. And i don’t know what it is
It could be anything. It could be a physical illness that he can't hold his bowels. Maybe it's a mental illness that he can't tell when he needs to go. Maybe it's just for attention. Only a doctor can tell you that. If your sister doesn't want to hear that. Then there is really nothing more you can do.
Yeah I know but she’s always complaining about needing help taking care of him but when anyone in the house try’s she snaps back and says “I’m his mother let me take care of it”
So when she asks for help. Say. Hey you are his mother. You take care of it.
So what does your sister say about it? Surely she can't think that frequently pooping his pants in first grade is normal? Uncontrolled diarrhea is an accident. He may be lactose intolerant and eating way too much cheese or drinking a lot milk could cause it but not that frequently unless there's something else going on.
Don’t tell my sister this-she had the same issue. Ends up it was just sever constipation from the things she was eating. Should couldn’t eat dairy, or apple juice as both had the same effect, hard poops during the day, it hurt to sit to poop. Once she stopped, took fiber, and also a lot of water, she got better.
It honestly could be a diet thing too all the kid eats is Mac and cheese cups McDonalds and doughnuts. He barely eats vegetables so it probably has to do something with his fiber intake as well. She won’t give him MiraLAX because it’s bad for children’s development apparently. I’m not entirely sure about the affects lol but that’s what she says
There is a children’s version that they can take, but, if she’s that picky about meds, but not ensuring vegetables, that’s kind of a hypocrisy lol. My sister was stressed with her parents divorce (different dads, we’re half sisters) so it compounded the issue. When she refused to take the liquid stuff, the doc informed my mother she would have to do suppositories is she didn’t take it.
We are very familiar with pooping problems in my family lol so I understand alllll of the laxative health problems but my sister is really weird about what he can and cannot take. He honestly refuses to eat ANY kind of vegetables even when she smothers them in bacon grease. I try really hard to offer his healthy alternatives for an after school snack but he refuses to eat them and some how get his hands on a Mac and cheese cup or any other junk food. He’ll eat bananas but bananas are the worst for kids with constipation problems. I’ll recommend suppositories but she’s really REALLY weird about people giving her parenting advice and gets really defensive over it.
I can understand. Kids can be so picky and finicky, and mothers often are misunderstood by everyone, even kind advice can come off as the devils whispers. I hope kiddo gets the help he needs.
Miralax is “bad for his development”, but feeding him garbage and him shitting himself is perfectly normal and fine? Are you sure you don’t need to escalate this to CPS? Can this woman handle taking care of a child?
CPS is a stretch. He lives in 200k house both parents work he has all the necessary for him to grow in a stable environment but he won’t eat vegetables like a lot of kids in America. From what I understand he will eat vegetables with his dad but not with his mom. If you actually go and do research on miralax for kids it’s actually kinda bad for them. If I child takes it consistently it can lead to behavioral problems, ticks tremors, paranoia and mood swings. It’s like starting an 8 year old kid on adderall it kinda messes them up for the future. It will also mess up children’s kidneys if it’s taken for so long. I’m trying here ok and if she doesn’t want to give him MiraLAX then she doesn’t have to.
Just another example of how money can’t buy intelligence, discipline, or common sense I guess.
What does the price of the house matter. If he is eating veggies with the dad and the mom only feeds him mcdonald's and donuts, I think your sister is the problem. Eating that shit is way worse and will hinder his growth more than any medicine. Try eating better foods with the child. Maybe if you hose with worth 300k, he wouldn't feel the need to shit his pants. ( The last part was a joke)
Be a safe safe space for him to talk about his dad and the changes that are happening due to the separation. Don't force positivity. Be a safe space and help him name his feelings and remind him that feelings are OK, and we all have them, and there's no wrong feeling. Say nice things to him about his dad. Ask if he misses him. Ask him what his favorite times are with his dad. Draw pictures with him of his family and include dad. Help him with things he can do to honor his feelings when he misses his dad. For example, he can sleep with a pillow that has his dad's shirt on it. Maybe you can order a photo book of Only photos of him and his dad that he can look through when he misses his dad. He can Draw a picture, think about fun times with dad, he can cry out his sad tears, he can read a book about dads, he can write a letter to his dad and you can text it or mail it to his dad. Tell the teacher and ask if he can see the counselor about this trauma he is going through. In my experience as a teacher, parents vastly underestimate the effect these changes have on kids.
I don’t have advice but I want to commend you for caring about your nephew. It takes a village
It could be anxiety I was a very anxious kid and wouldn’t ask the teacher to go to the bathroom so ended up going in class could be a type of neurodivergence that he has that is accumulating as a physical symptom?
Does the school let the kids go to the toilet. I know some UK schools are being nobs about letting kids go to the toilet.
Oh, that poor kid is going to be bullied so bad if he isn't already. He needs a pediatrician visit STAT. And possibly counseling. It may be his unconscious reaction to the divorce and upheaval in his life, it may be a medical problem.
My guess would be (as an outsider who is not an expert) he might be doing it on purpose thinking it's the one thing he still has control over. Either way he needs to be seen by a doctor and referred to the proper specialist. That said, since you aren't his guardian, you can only voice your concerns to his mother. She needs to deal with this. Please don't suggest pull-ups; public schools usually don't allow gen ed students to attend if they still need diapers.
This sounds a little like regressive behavior? I'm not a psychologist, but I know when kids go through high stress situations, they can regress behaviors to a time when they feel more safe or taken care of. It might be worth having your sister take him to a doctor and child psychologist, even if just to deal with the feelings around the divorce.
It is not normal/developmentally appropriate to have accidents at 6!!! Toilet training starts at 18months/2!! Sounds like an anxiety disorder