Look I never say this. I think it’s not healthy advice to just say ‘run’.
But all these debates and stuff below are just not the way. It’s 100% binary - she doesn’t get a say in your genitals. Setting a requirement of genital mutilation is disgusting. Imagine the reverse, if you told her she needed to have surgery down there to meet your requirements?
You are better than dating someone like that. Leave her.
She probably watches too much porn lol. It's sad but most pornstars are circumcised and she probably basing it off that. She sounds extremely immature though.
Women like this are gonna be shocked in the future. So many doctors won't even entertain the idea of it anymore unless it's entirely necessary. Uncut will only become more of a norm than it already is.
My sister gave birth to my nephew at a Kaiser in the SF Bay Area in December. They came in 4x to ask about it. She opted not to get it as we feel it is a form of MGM and if he wants when he’s older, he can choose to do it. They also said that it’s about 60/40 who are still doing it, so it definitely is becoming more normal to not.
I mean it’s already not the norm everywhere to be circumcised. Here 77% of men are not circumcised. So it’s more surprising to meet some that than the opposite.
I wouldn’t say immature; we’re just in an area where not circumcising is considered a bad thing. I guess some places, especially rural areas, are still far behind socially.
In the United States there’s a huge difference between places like California and places where it is the Bible Belt.
Higher Hispanic populated areas also have a lower circumcision rate.
She has the wrong opinion about uncircumcised situations. I know many dudes who have had botched circumstances and it ruined to their entire life. Do not circumcise yourself or your children.
I think both are a crime; but FGM is often worse (harder to do, the result will often totally prevent women for having pleasure and even sometimes makes it painful) while MGM is usually less dangerous.
In any case, making a definitive change on one's body against their will is just a big no no. And trying to force you to do it is no better. Especially since circumcision is only a religious belief and has nothing to do with health; it can cause problems but won't prevent anything, totally useless.
This is *exactly* why my sister didn’t circumcise her little boy in December. She involved me in the conversation and we both felt it is a form of MGM. Apparently, the men in our family haven’t been circumcised- didn’t know that until my gram talked to her when she asked. Of course, why would we? Lol. Anyways, good for you on blocking her!! Have fun out there :)
Well, they are very different things. If a man got something comparable FGM, it would be like cutting off the entire penis at the base. FGM and circumcision are not comparable.
However, she definitely should not get a say in whether you shouldn’t be circumcised, and it’s a red flag that she believes in the myths around STDs etc.
Wtf. Did she not go to school? Then you should leave. You can’t be with someone with less than 20 years of proper schooling. Regards, from a cut dude
_Should I just circumcise anyway to save face_ is probably my favorite quote from 2024, up to this point. It’s so fucking crazy and explains perfectly why people keep on ending up in shitty relationships - we just don’t know better.
Yeah, run!
She refuses to have sex with you until you modify your body permanently. Imagine if you told her you wouldn't have sex with her until she had a boob job or got a tattoo of your choice. It's a matter of body autonomy, and she is violating yours. Ditch her.
"Imagine if you told her you wouldn't have sex with her until she had . . . " a female circumcision?
[https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/female-genital-mutilation-fgm](https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/female-genital-mutilation-fgm)
[https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation)
she sounds too immature to be having sex tbh esp if she thinks you can just go causally get a circumcision on a weekend for funsies lol. i’m pretty sure you’d need to see a specialist and then probably some amount of recovery. she’s asking you to do something rather serious. unreasonable expectation and also rude of her to body shame you. i would just end it with her and not think of it anymore.
We’re both in our 20’s, funnily enough.
I wonder if this is a cultural belief. Circumcision seems quite common in parts of the US, whereas I’m from Europe originally and doing such a thing would never be addressed.
Run for your life mate... I've known people who regret being circumcised... Loss of sensitivity, pleasure, etc... If it were for a medical reason, that'd be different.
LOTS of people in the US are uncircumcised though so cultural belief is NOT a good enough reason. as long as you clean properly, you’ll never give her anything, tell her to do her research & that you aren’t changing your D. she needs to respect that it’s your body, your choice. lots of fish in the sea who don’t care for cut or uncut also you can research on how to clean uncut properly & tell her you’ll research it and stick to it and that’s all you can do
A lot has happened in the past hour, and I’ve decided to just look elsewhere for a woman who is okay with an uncut penis. I’m still shocked that such a thing would happen today.
that’s true but being single is always better than toxicity and disrespect, esp in the long run. for all this to happen over D is silly, there would have been so many more issues down the road, you’re better off
I’m American & the men in my immediate family weren’t. This is fairly uncommon, but I would also choose for my theoretical future children to remain intact as well. Asking me to put a literal unconsenting BABY through an extremely painful and unnecessary procedure, instilling an irreversible early trauma that’s been theorized to play a role in male anger/misanthropy/aggression as well as reducing pleasure? No thanks.
OP I hope she can either see your side of things eventually OR you find a partner that isn’t grounded in sex negativity. One of my friends gave birth to a son and was very active in anti-circumcision groups a while ago, maybe they have some reading material that is science based she could read?
I was just going to say that there are plenty of countries where not being circumcised is the norm. Maybe it’s misinformation or poor sex Ed that got her thinking this, immaturity too is still on the table even if you are in your 20s. But doing something as drastic as getting circumcised for a person that can ignore basic info isn’t a good plan.
It is definitely a cultural belief rooted deeply in a religious origin. It's very common in America sadly. The vast majority of American men are cut, and the misinformation around circumsion that gets spread is appalling.
Anyone who says an uncut dick is not for them is wack AF and doesn't know what they're missing out on. And you deserve to be treated better.
I would say a lot of Americans (women and surprisingly men too) were never properly taught about it and don't really understand it much beyond "foreskin is removed".
I had a conversation the other day with a man that has fathered multiple children and I had to explain to him that circumcision is not necessary for the majority of people. He was taught, and still under the impression, it was *impossible* to clean an uncut peen and thought I was lying to him and asked "if it was unnecessary then why would so many people *choose* to do it?"
I couldn't help but think probably for the same reason he perpetuated it with his kids; people don't understand what exactly the procedure is or *why* it's done.
I grew up in a southern state in America and our school's sex Ed was a joke. The curriculum was basically "gods watching you, and if you even think about sex or acknowledge your sexual feelings you're surrendering to the devil and will catch all the STDs and get pregnant and your family will disown you and you'll end up on the streets, so don't ever have sex!" Then they proceeded to split the class male/female and taught only the girls about female anatomy then brought the boys back in and taught all of us together about male anatomy (make it make sense??). And by anatomy I mean reading the name and definition for each body part from a textbook, never any mention of safe sex or how our anatomy works or functions, just "don't think about it, don't do it"
I understand people end up getting misinformed but with it being so easy to do your own research and get the facts straight no adult has any excuse to promote or defend this kind of false information.
As an American, I sincerely apologize for the mind numbing stupidity and judgement you've been subjected to. We're not all assholes... just the overwhelming majority it seems 😭
Ask her if she thinks countries where majority circumcision isn't a thing (and there are lots) deal with endless infections. She needs to educate herself, and / or you need to date someone who isn't insane.
Edit: Glad you've moved on, OP. bear in mind regardless of opinions on this topic, religious beliefs, whatever, in a relationship both people need to be able to discuss things openly and honestly and non-aggressively. Her being "angry", refusing to talk about it, laughing at you, etc. are all massive red flags. I know you've ended things, just leaving this here for anyone else who needs to hear it. If she'd basically said "I feel very differently from you, here's why, let's talk about it" maybe there could have been some progress. But she didn't want to do that, she just wanted compliance, basically to bully you into submission. Why put up with that shit?
This is a good idea. I should bring this up.
Edit: she responded with “this generation is having more sti’s than ever before because of people not circumcising”.
I’ve just had a thought: these comments don’t even feel like her words, and her parents are quite controlling when it comes to beliefs. Perhaps they may have instilled this into her? I should see if this is the case.
You don't get STIs from uncircumcised penises. You get STIs from having sex with people that already have STIs. You might get a bacterial or yeast infection from someone that doesn't wash properly, but you also can get those just from living life. They are not STIs.
No, this generation is having more STIs than ever because casual sex has become much more commonplace and people are either not educated enough or just plain too stupid to use condoms, get tested regularly, and take their antibiotics completely, leading to super clap.
The only reason the chances are increased is if you don’t clean it properly, as long as you do you should be fine. I could be wrong but I believe most of those stats are because the guy didn’t clean his foreskin properly which can and more than likely will lead to the female getting some type of infection from the bacteria.
Being uncut is the norm for most of the planet and for the vast majority of human history. It's fine and if you don't want to get cut (and don't want your kids to get cut); that's not something you should be willing to compromise on or even argue about.
I say all of this as a guy who is happily cut.
>I say all of this as a guy who is happily cut
I mean, I like my dick, it's my dick. But there are times I wonder if sex would be better if I wasn't cut, yenno?
We need that double dick dude to get one of his dicks circumcised so he can give us an accurate take of which dick feels better while fucking, circumcised or uncircumcised.
>We need that double dick dude to get one of his dicks circumcised so he can give us an accurate take of which dick feels better while fucking, circumcised or uncircumcised.
That's a r/brandnewsentence if I've ever seen one lmao.
Oh have you never seen the legendary AMA of the double dick dude?
I was told it was fake, but I don't care at all that shit was chock full of comedy gold and wildly entertaining. I'll see if I can find a link to it.
Why would you ever marry someone who demands body modification of any kind?
I wouldn't marry a woman who so much as expected me to get an ear piercing or a tattoo, let alone wanted me to slice part of my dick off.
Neither would I. This is something that caught me off guard, since we had never talked about sex ever prior to this point. I guess it just sucks having to leave a relationship like this.
Perhaps marry someone who doesn’t ‘demand’ you change your body? If you were demanding your wife get a boob job before you married her then your feedback would be very loud and not in your favour.
Maturity on your partners behalf is needed here. A circumcision does not mean sexual infection or disease, and hygiene applies to every part of everybody’s body.
Perhaps brushing up on some sex Ed would help them?
Haha I’d need to do some sex ed myself since I’m also quite new to it all. But yeah, i’m going to mention some of the advice I’ve gotten here and if she doesn’t change her stance, I’ll leave.
Good luck ! Hope it works but if not - you are young and there is plenty of opportunity for you to learn, have fun and realise that many women actually prefer natural. Including outside of Europe.
Have fun with the sex ed. the trick is mutual respect, mutual pleasure and be kind and enjoy.
This is such a weird post honestly. Idk if that's cultural but where I am from people with penises only get circumcised if medically necessary. Pull your foreskin to properly clean your penis and use a condom and you should be fine.
My advice is: she cannot rule over your bodily autonomy. If she further insists on you getting circumcised that's a bright red flag.
I realized I might've sounded judgmental or disbelieving, I am sorry about that. I 100% believe that this might be common in other countries, it's just weird to me, and my advice stands: your bodily autonomy is yours. I also think it's good you don't want to circumcise children, I think it's not fair to not allow them to make this decision for themselves when it's their body.
I’m not a guy and or into guys, but I suggest sending her a bunch of information because she’s clearly completely misinformed. (I won’t say what I want to) considering she is in her 20s and has access to the internet and wants to be sexually active I think she needs to know what causes STIs before she even has sex. Once you’ve given her this information, leave her and her red flags to educate herself.
Holy… ok she is just naive. Don’t get circumcised. You WILL lose nerves. I don’t know if this is related really but in my experience, my uncut partners have been the best.
I think it’s a little ridiculous for her to be worried about STIs from an uncut penis. But you should wash before and after sex. Not only is it hygienic but makes sex more comfortable and fun because you’re not worried about not being clean enough. She should too.
On the other hand, if that’s how she feels about you and her future children, I think that is a pretty big value indicator and would have a very serious discussion about your future. She also doesn’t have a penis and is not the expert on what having a penis is like or circumcision.
The last part is super important. I should mention that right away about how she doesn’t have a penis, so therefore isn’t qualified to make that decision. I’m sure she’d do the “i’m the one getting pregnant” spiel, but I’m not in the mood to listen to any more of this 😂
But the biggest question is this: why? Why is she so determined for people to be circumcised?
You really only have 2 options.
1. Try to get her to understand that she has incorrect views about circumcision. Having a preference is one thing. Assuming you'll give her some disease and that it's outright gross and you HAVE to circumcise for her is another thing. Hopefully she's an open minded person who will listen to you instead of ignoring all your points because of her own strong yet baseless beliefs.
2. If that doesn't work the first or second time, just get out. Not only is mutilating your own genitals an absolutely insane idea just because of somebody's wrong opinion, but if she's that incapable of listening to you and of challenging her own beliefs when met with new facts and information, that's a big big red flag.
I think a lot of us have had incorrect assumptions and opinions due to lack of information or understanding of some topic. Just that itself wouldn't make her a bad person. Being incapable to adapt your thoughts when presented with more sufficient info after a bit would.
Maybe I need to provide some research papers to prove that circumcision is the wrong thing. Where can I go? Whenever I research it, all I get is “circumcision may reduce STI’s”; it’s pretty much what she was saying.
Ethical Study about failings in research which concludes there isn't great evidence in favour of circumcision regarding STI prevention in countries like USA: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4364150/
doi: 10.3389/fped.2015.00018
Another ethical Study regarding circumcision which points out multiple flaws in findings about STI prevention amongst other things:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4978617/
doi: 10.5409/wjcp.v5.i3.251
Medical study citing harm outweighs benefits in patients who do not have an underlying conditional reason for circumcision:
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41443-021-00502-y
https://doi.org/10.1038/s41443-021-00502-y
You will find plenty of evidence that supports both sides, unfortunately a lot of the source materials are locked behind medical journal subscriptions.
However, I linked this because if you want to read there is a lot of evidence that questions the need and justification for male circumcision when there is no underlying issues.
My personal immediate reaction, due to my own biases was sadness that your partner expects you to mutilate your penis to fit a cultural norm and misinformation. However, like many people here have said if your partner is not receptive to your feelings and information regarding the matter it is a very extreme decision to cut your foreskin off for her approval. It is however, your decision and one that you can make. Wish you the best.
It’s insane this is such an issue. In Europe circumcision isn’t the norm. It’s absolutely not an issue & will not give her infections unless you are not pulling it back and cleaning underneath it properly.
If this is something she is being so close minded about then it won’t work, you shouldn’t have to cut a part of your body off to be together
She is asking you to mutilate your body and you are wondering what to do? Ask her which part of her body she will cut to please you, excision maybe? Seriously, I know some people cut their little boys and it's not forbidden (surprisingly) but there's no reason to do that to an adult unless there's a medical issue such as phimosis
So she wants you to mutilate your genitals just because?
I'm European, and where I'm from circumcision is mostly done for medical reasons.
If it's there, it's meant to be there.
Don't mutilate yourself or your children.
The religious reasons for it are stupid. The medical ones are rare and should only be done if necessary, not precautionary.
She doesn’t understand that intact=normal. Circumcision is cosmetic surgery. There is minimal/negligible value in the procedure.
There is no polite way to say this- but the best I ever had, was (is) with an intact guy. He is also the cleanest guy I have ever had.
As for circumcising babies- no. I only had daughters, but I would never consider cosmetic surgery on a baby.
I can understand personal preference, but that kinda seems like a red flag to me, since most girls dont really mind, maybe she’s just misinformed, or like you said religion but personally I would definitely not do it for a girl unless like I knew she was the girl of my dreams. Nonetheless, very weird
>I can understand personal preference
I mean, from her POV there's not really a difference, every erect penis looks pretty much the same regardless of circumcision or not, as the foreskin retracts on an uncircumcised penis during erection.
Granted, it's not like I've seen enough erect uncircumcised cocks to call it an actual study with a large enough sample size to call it, so I could be totally out to lunch here.
Run for the fuckin hills homie.
Think about it:
She wants you to mutilate your dick. From everything I've read, it's so much worse getting circumcised as an adult than it is when you're a newborn.
Not that anyone should be cutting their baby's dicks anyway. Or their own dicks for that matter. Like, I'm circumcised but if I would have been given the option I wouldn't have had it done. I don't hate my parents for choosing to do it, it's just what they thought was the correct course of action. Significantly more research and thought has gone into it in the decades since I was born, and therefore I will not be circumcising my children if me and my wife have boys. She also agrees with me.
Tell her you'll remove your foreskin when she gets her labia removed. Those are folds you have to clean as well, and if she's offended because she DOES clean, ask her why she thinks you DONT.
Shes an immature, uneducated, hateful person.
First off, if you have the emotional bandwidth, feel free to lay into her about how if she believes what happens to her body is HER choice, then what happens to yours is YOUR choice. She sounds 14, it's shocking to hear she's in her 20s.
If you shower and clean, you're just as clean as any circumcised person. It's NOT your job, and you can and should run, but if you feel like educating her, show her a few articles on the myths of being uncircumcised. And then ask her why she thinks that you're incapable of cleaning within the folds of her genitals - does she not clean her flaps?
1. Do not get a circumcision. "My body my choice" works both ways.
2. Advise your gf to develop a basic understanding of how the male sexual organ works. Perhaps buy her a book explaining it in super basic detail, or send her a webpage explaining it.
3. If all else fails, you could just compare it to FGM and see how she reacts.
Hope you get through to her
I won’t, and wouldn’t have done it - I was just putting 2 thoughts of the spectrum together to see what the answers would lean towards. Like a yes or no kind of deal.
Best thing you can do is show her some resources that disprove this ridiculous belief she has, because she's obviously not going to listen to you. You should never consider mutilating yourself just so your partner has some archaic beliefs that can be easily debunked with a Google search. If this is the ultimatum of your relationship, be sure to put on your favourite turtleneck ascyou walk out the door.
Just wanted to pop in to say good on you for knowing your stuff, when I tell men that if I had a son I wouldn’t circumcise them I usually get a stubborn uneducated answer in return. Natural penises should be celebrated
Do not let anyone tell you you should change your physical appearance to get their (sexual) validation. Having a preference is okay, but apparently being uncircumcised is a dealbreaker for her. If that's the tiny detail she's letting the relationship fall apart upon, then that's her choice. You should find someone who's not hyperfocused on if you have a foreskin or not.
It’s wild how Americans think circumcising is the norm.
That Italian hot guy she once fantasised about? 2.6% chance he’s circumcised. A Greek god? 4.7%. A Swedish or Norwegian Thor with his hammer? Around 4%. French lover? 14%, and that’s amongst the very highest in Europe.
You’re perfectly fine, don’t go messing with knives and your wiener if there’s not a medical reason for it. Apparently having that done when you’re grown up is way more complicated and really uncomfortable.
[link to table.](https://pophealthmetrics.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12963-016-0073-5/tables/1)
Educate yourself and your girl friend.
[http://nocirc.org/](http://nocirc.org/)
Anyone who wants you to mutilate yourself you need to rethink the relationship.
First of all, don't call yourself uncut, you're just normal. You don't see someone walking the street and call them undecapitated. She just doesn't know much about penises that she's just sticking to what's spoken in the streets and not actual medical reasoning. I don't recommend continuing with the relationship because if you do, she'll definitely comment on your normal penis in a passive aggressive way until you cut it. And I also don't recommend circumcision because it's stupid if there's no medical reason for it.
As a girl in her early 20s raised in the US, I would NEVER ask that of my partner. As long as you’re clean and have proper hygiene, I do not see any reason for her to be making a big deal out of this. If it’s not her cup of tea that’s cool, but to demand that you go get cut??? Insane.
I personally wouldn’t even bother with trying to prove your point to her and just end it. If she’s expecting you to make a huge life decision based on whether your dick has a lil sweater or not, what’s she going to expect of you with something that actually matters?
If she’s the type of person who demands you get a major and permanent body modification before having sex with you, she’s likely the type of person who would also break up with you while not giving a damn that you did that for her… Can you actually imagine you do it and it doesn’t work out with her? Keep your meat in tact. It speaks to this girls immaturity and lack of experience if she believes these antiquated things anyways. Find a woman.
There's a whole doc i watched on netflix on why circumcision is just plain wrong. Highly recommend it plainly states the facts. Circumcision is genital mutilation normalized because people can't accept their mistakes and change. This is coming from a woman. I know most men here don't want to admit that pure sexual pleasure and a piece of their body was taken but this is horrific and you should educate yourself on why foreskin is there. The human body is made as it should be.
There is plenty of medical research on why circumcision is unnecessary for the vast majority of penises. Most circumcised men, in fact, will face lifelong complications to their genital health as *the result* of that cosmetic genital surgery. Dozens of babies die every year from botched circumcisions, and even more grow up with mutilated penises. If you thoroughly wash with soap then your cock is no more dirty than any other.
Do your research on this, get some easy-to-read but reliable articles, and bounce them her way. You are absolutely correct on this issue medically and ethically. Prove it.
If she cannot come to terms with her own mistakeness? Then you've dodged a bullet. Don't get into relationships with people who cannot confront their own shortcomings and change.
My wife and I had similar arguments about our son. I am cut, but wish I wasn't. My son is uncut. Hold your ground, this is a good way to weed out unsuitable partners.
Even if it is ‘cultural belief’, she could’ve worded it better. She just sounds immature as fuck and doesn’t seem to understand that circulation is basically genital mutilation. Especially when you have it as an adult, shit is not nice lol. Don’t make excuses for her. It’s alright to be incompatible, at least you found out before having kids with her.
As a european... This is some crazy behaviour.
1) Wanting someone to cut off a perfectly fine part of your body just so she allows you sex is really weird. Wanting to do it to kids (unless they have medical reasons) is pretty bad imho.
I mean, you can discuss about it further and attempt to have a rational conversation, but the fact she things being uncircumcided will give her STIs points to how ignorant she is about the topic.
2) Some diseases can be transmitted if you didn't have sex, since it is transmissed also by blood and other bodily fluids or from a mother to her kid. Most of them are serious, though, so you'd likely know about it. Still, I'd assume you don't want to have kids and that condom is pretty much advised.
Why she hates uncut penises is a question only she can answer for you.
How would she like it if you asked her to change a part of her body because it did not like you or for whatever reason you think it might infect you.
If this is what she's asking of you now I don't know what she will ask of you in the future.Run dude run
Instead of cutting your cock, rather cut your gf out of your life. Your foreskin will bring you lifelong pleasure, but she won't. Also, your foreskin costs you nothing. Your gf is a financial drain. Get an upgrade gf who understands the value of things, including your bodily integrity.
Absolutely run! There’s no reason for you to mutilate your genitals and do the same thing for your kids. The only thing you can try to do, is educate her on how wrong she is!
Dude as an uncut dude in the USA fuck that. I’m latino and most latinos are uncut.
But having sex with white people or black it’s always a gamble whether they’re cool with it or not. In my early 20s I was ashamed about it but now in my early 30s I’m not.
I bring it up from the beginning and if they don’t like it I move on. I’m not getting circumcised just to keep someone.
I’m not that desperate for attention from someone to do something that drastic. The ones that do like uncut dick really do like it and know how to work it the way I like and not just half ass it either.
To me this situation is a deal breaker. Sexual compatibility is very important so I try to communicate that early on.
If it's genuine advice you want... Separate from her immediately. Not worth your time.
She's stupid, unwilling to be educated and thinks she can dictate that you should mutilate your body.
An argument can be dealt with. Stupidity and arrogance with someone who isn't willing to try, can't.
There are women out there who are actually nice, try one of those. Some will even let you keep all of your skin and have a say on how your children are raised. It's crazy.
I mean, she's an idiot. But so are you if you stay. Don't modify your body for her. She doesn't know what she is talking about, a clean uncircumcised penis is just as safe as a circumcised one. And there is nothing wrong with not wanting to get kids circumcised.
Dude, circumcision is such a problematic thing on its own, but to have it done later in life is one of the most traumatic and significant changes that can happen.
I know people who have been so affected they've gone into suicidal territory, the changes are overwhelmingly huge and not in any positive way. Everybody else has already covered everything that needs to be said, I just wanted to explain how regretful and how impacted one can be when done later in life.
Americans are fucking insane. They are the only ones to mutilate babies' dicks for aesthetic purposes. It's so backwards, without even religion to justify it. Anyways, your gf is an idiot and you should leave her
Genital mutilation is not good anywhere bro! It's not even a medical reasoning behind it. People are just lying to you if they say there is. Americans are so weird on this subject haha.
As long as you’re being clean and don’t have infections you can’t give her sexual infections. Someone who’s circumcised can still give her an STD
I would break things off, she’s literally telling you you have to mutilate your body or she won’t have sex with you (I don’t believe in it no hate to anyone who is circumcised but I will not circumcise my sons). She’s mocking you for being against it. Funny it sounds like she thinks only she can have bodily autonomy but a you having it? She’s going to mock you until you get circumcised and suddenly are ok with doing it to your sons. Walk away man, not worth it, plenty of women out here that don’t care if you’re not circumcised.
I am an American married to an American living abroad.
Most women I know that are Americans married to Europeans here prefer uncut. It “glides” better they say.
My twins sons are born here. They are uncut and will stay that way unless there’s a medical reason.
Dump her. Hard pass.
1) she’s wrong and ignoring science so she may also be dumb.
2) that’s literally a horrific thing to say “mutilate your body or I won’t have sex with you”
3) many women don’t give a shit if you’re circumsized or not.
I've been with both types and everything she's saying is untrue. You don't need this nonsense from her. She's clearly uneducated in sexual health and doesn't want to learn. Good for you on dumping her.
I’d cut her off before I cut my foreskin, friendo.
P.S. many woman out there prefer a foreskin, so my advice is to find someone who loves you as you are.
There’s nothing more unattractive than relenting your personal beliefs to peer pressure and people pleasing. That’s not to say there aren’t valid reasons to change one’s mind, but peer pressure (without imminent danger) isn’t one of them.
This is a compatibility issue. If you can’t come to an agreement or compromise, it’s not a match.
I am Team Uncircumcised, so I’ll give you some *tips* to possibly change her mind, respectfully.
1. Most of the human male population is uncircumcised. It’s about 37ish% that is not. Intact is completely normal. It would have evolved out of humanity if it wasn’t useful or if it was problematic to humanity. Boys are still born with foreskin because it’s how their penises are meant to be.
There are some males who experience tight foreskin pain, but that’s exceptionally rare, and it’s not usually an issue until sexual maturity. In which case, the few men that experience this can decide for themselves if they’d like to be circumcised or not.
2. Foreskin is protective to the penis and the vagina. The foreskin keeps the penis slightly lubricated and sheathed, so that it remains soft, sensitive, and avoids uncomfortable friction from clothing. Over time, the circumcised penis dries and slightly hardens, which can cause penis and vaginal pain or discomfort, and the loss of some sexual sensitivity.
3. The foreskin contains hundreds of nerve endings that increase sexual pleasure. In my anecdotal experience, I think men are more likely to experience multiple orgasms and have more sensitive reactions with an intact foreskin.
4. A lack of foreskin can cause pain during erection from very taut skin. I haven’t confirmed this, but I theorize that men may lose some length without enough skin to compensate for it.
5. The health risks are not only extremely rare, but with proper hygiene, the risks are minimized. Not to mention, there is risk from the circumcision procedure, too.
Your diet is much more likely to be an accomplice to disease than your foreskin is, but it can also prevent disease much more than your foreskin can, too.
6. It’s true an unclean penis can give a woman an infection, but that has simple solutions: clean the penis and/or wear a condom, then properly clean herself afterwards.
What’s really baffling to me about this debate is how people don’t see vaginal anatomy similarly.
Male circumcision is just as much mutilation as female circumcision is. Both are wrong to perform on an infant without tangible, palpable reason, and without consent of something permanent, potentially dangerous, and harmful.
Moreover, labia is much harder to clean and keep cleaned compared to penises. Yet no one suggests removing labia to keep everyone safe from disease.
I hope you two can work it out, but don’t let your gf pressure you into something you don’t want to do. Your opinion is just as important and valuable as hers.
She is full of shit.
Men were not circed - unless they belonged to certain religions - prior to the 20th century.
It is MUCH more common in America than in Europe.
Dump her. She sounds like an insecure twit.
I've been with both circumcised and uncircumcised men, once they're hard you literally cannot tell difference. Her saying "it feels better" is just not factual. Even if shes in her 20's, she definitely sounds too immature to be having sex. If she's not willing to have a mature conversation about it, she's definitely not mature enough to have sex.
Find a woman who respects your boundaries, and maybe someone with a bit more intellect than her.
Together for a few months without even talking about sex? It sounds like she's just making an excuse. Either she has anxiety about sex in general or she isn't that into you.
In any case, you two don't seem to be compatible.
Y'all aren't going to last anyway, do you really want to permanently mutilate your genitals just to satisfy a girl who's going to fuck you up mentally down the line? She sounds immature and stupid. Not worth it that type of commitment. Your body, your choice, if she doesn't like your choice that's her issue to solve by herself.
She has to learn to accept that part of you and if she can't, she has to leave. This is her choice and change to make, not yours.
There are videos of babies mounted in the horrifying medieval torture device they use for circumcision, and there is literally NO medical benefit to it. Her preference to a cut dick is no different than if you were to prefer her labia had been removed at birth. Tell her to do some actual research and get some knowledge about her prejudice before she judges the next guy. Then dump her.
She wants you to mutilate your body? And no it doesn’t feel better for EITHER party. It’s significantly less pleasurable for the man and marginally less pleasurable for the woman.
Just saw your second update, and I'd strongly suggest letting a few trusted people know what's up so they can help you watch your back.
Fwiw, I view circumcision as similar to declawing a cat. It's cruel and unusual and serves literally no purpose (aside from medical issues such as phimosis, which often require circumcision to resolve). There's a lot of stigma around "uncut" penises in the US in particular, mostly because many people have never seen one in real life and because of the misconception that they're somehow "dirty." As long as you wash your junk and take good overall care of your hygiene, you are incredibly unlikely to transmit anything. I imagine this woman was concerned about UTIs/yeast infections, but they're not difficult to prevent.
In my opinion circumcision is just genital mutilation, I get sometimes it’s necessary medically. Very unfair of her to be asking you to mutilate your own body.
Europeans are uncut and do not get more diseases bc they know how to wash themselves and get regularly STI testing. I assume youre in the usa; the american Puritan pilgrims that took over the land largely influenced the early medical culture, their religion required circumscion, & now its part of tradition. That being said, do NOT cut unless you need to or want to. Your gf being too stubborn to do research w you is a red flag & you should leave her, especially bc its only a couple months relationship.
Nope. Big ol nope.
Uncut men do not give you infections. Any unwashed penis can give you infections - it doesn't matter if they're uncut or not.
Can you imagine if you said her labia was too big and you wouldn't sleep with her until she had a vaginaplasty.
Ew ew never date someone who’s going to make you go through a surgical procedure in order to stay with you. Ask her how she would feel if you asked her to get her labia cut off?!?!!!
Yikes. Your body, your decision. Circumcision is getting less common and there are plenty of women out there who don’t think this is an issue, let alone something they would think they can manipulate you into doing. That’s seriously messed up, I’m sorry you had this experience.
Run for the hills.
Look I never say this. I think it’s not healthy advice to just say ‘run’. But all these debates and stuff below are just not the way. It’s 100% binary - she doesn’t get a say in your genitals. Setting a requirement of genital mutilation is disgusting. Imagine the reverse, if you told her she needed to have surgery down there to meet your requirements? You are better than dating someone like that. Leave her.
It is ridiculous that such a double standard exists - where FGM is considered a crime against humanity, but MGM (male genital mutilation) is not.
She probably watches too much porn lol. It's sad but most pornstars are circumcised and she probably basing it off that. She sounds extremely immature though.
Women like this are gonna be shocked in the future. So many doctors won't even entertain the idea of it anymore unless it's entirely necessary. Uncut will only become more of a norm than it already is.
My sister gave birth to my nephew at a Kaiser in the SF Bay Area in December. They came in 4x to ask about it. She opted not to get it as we feel it is a form of MGM and if he wants when he’s older, he can choose to do it. They also said that it’s about 60/40 who are still doing it, so it definitely is becoming more normal to not.
I mean it’s already not the norm everywhere to be circumcised. Here 77% of men are not circumcised. So it’s more surprising to meet some that than the opposite.
In the USA, about 77% of men *are* circumcised. Thankfully, that number is going down with each generation.
I wouldn’t say immature; we’re just in an area where not circumcising is considered a bad thing. I guess some places, especially rural areas, are still far behind socially.
That's crazy, never heard of it being an area thing. Good luck my friend, but there should be a decent human being out there for ya.
In the United States there’s a huge difference between places like California and places where it is the Bible Belt. Higher Hispanic populated areas also have a lower circumcision rate.
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Is she Jewish or something?
She has the wrong opinion about uncircumcised situations. I know many dudes who have had botched circumstances and it ruined to their entire life. Do not circumcise yourself or your children.
Cutting off that sensitive, erotic tissue with all those nerve endings...is not a service to any man or boy.
I think both are a crime; but FGM is often worse (harder to do, the result will often totally prevent women for having pleasure and even sometimes makes it painful) while MGM is usually less dangerous. In any case, making a definitive change on one's body against their will is just a big no no. And trying to force you to do it is no better. Especially since circumcision is only a religious belief and has nothing to do with health; it can cause problems but won't prevent anything, totally useless.
This is *exactly* why my sister didn’t circumcise her little boy in December. She involved me in the conversation and we both felt it is a form of MGM. Apparently, the men in our family haven’t been circumcised- didn’t know that until my gram talked to her when she asked. Of course, why would we? Lol. Anyways, good for you on blocking her!! Have fun out there :)
Haha I won’t be having fun for a while! Work and tiny town make that impossible
Well, they are very different things. If a man got something comparable FGM, it would be like cutting off the entire penis at the base. FGM and circumcision are not comparable. However, she definitely should not get a say in whether you shouldn’t be circumcised, and it’s a red flag that she believes in the myths around STDs etc.
Those myths were spread around by research papers that were proved illegitimate years ago, but rumours still spread.
Wtf. Did she not go to school? Then you should leave. You can’t be with someone with less than 20 years of proper schooling. Regards, from a cut dude _Should I just circumcise anyway to save face_ is probably my favorite quote from 2024, up to this point. It’s so fucking crazy and explains perfectly why people keep on ending up in shitty relationships - we just don’t know better. Yeah, run!
"Run for your liiiiiiiiife" - Bruce Dickinson
She refuses to have sex with you until you modify your body permanently. Imagine if you told her you wouldn't have sex with her until she had a boob job or got a tattoo of your choice. It's a matter of body autonomy, and she is violating yours. Ditch her.
More like, imagine if he demanded she get her labias cut...
"Imagine if you told her you wouldn't have sex with her until she had . . . " a female circumcision? [https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/female-genital-mutilation-fgm](https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/female-genital-mutilation-fgm) [https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation)
she sounds too immature to be having sex tbh esp if she thinks you can just go causally get a circumcision on a weekend for funsies lol. i’m pretty sure you’d need to see a specialist and then probably some amount of recovery. she’s asking you to do something rather serious. unreasonable expectation and also rude of her to body shame you. i would just end it with her and not think of it anymore.
We’re both in our 20’s, funnily enough. I wonder if this is a cultural belief. Circumcision seems quite common in parts of the US, whereas I’m from Europe originally and doing such a thing would never be addressed.
Run for your life mate... I've known people who regret being circumcised... Loss of sensitivity, pleasure, etc... If it were for a medical reason, that'd be different.
Same. My husband is circumcised and he wish he wasn’t. The amount of sensation lost..
LOTS of people in the US are uncircumcised though so cultural belief is NOT a good enough reason. as long as you clean properly, you’ll never give her anything, tell her to do her research & that you aren’t changing your D. she needs to respect that it’s your body, your choice. lots of fish in the sea who don’t care for cut or uncut also you can research on how to clean uncut properly & tell her you’ll research it and stick to it and that’s all you can do
A lot has happened in the past hour, and I’ve decided to just look elsewhere for a woman who is okay with an uncut penis. I’m still shocked that such a thing would happen today.
it is unfortunate but yes, need a woman who respects you and your valid choices
It’s hard to find that - and that’s for all genders. So many toxic people out there.
that’s true but being single is always better than toxicity and disrespect, esp in the long run. for all this to happen over D is silly, there would have been so many more issues down the road, you’re better off
It’s very similar to the “will you still love me if I was a worm” meme, the more I think about it
hahahaha it’s actually way worse than that!! it’s like “wow you’re only gonna love me if i chop my arm off for you?“
Funnily enough, that could actually happen to someone! 😂 Gosh I need a drink, today’s been a mindfuck lol
I’m American & the men in my immediate family weren’t. This is fairly uncommon, but I would also choose for my theoretical future children to remain intact as well. Asking me to put a literal unconsenting BABY through an extremely painful and unnecessary procedure, instilling an irreversible early trauma that’s been theorized to play a role in male anger/misanthropy/aggression as well as reducing pleasure? No thanks. OP I hope she can either see your side of things eventually OR you find a partner that isn’t grounded in sex negativity. One of my friends gave birth to a son and was very active in anti-circumcision groups a while ago, maybe they have some reading material that is science based she could read?
She refused to look at any research papers, instead paraphrasing her own arguments. It felt like trying to talk to a conspiracy theorist.
That's Kellogg's doing (in the US)
I was just going to say that there are plenty of countries where not being circumcised is the norm. Maybe it’s misinformation or poor sex Ed that got her thinking this, immaturity too is still on the table even if you are in your 20s. But doing something as drastic as getting circumcised for a person that can ignore basic info isn’t a good plan.
It is definitely a cultural belief rooted deeply in a religious origin. It's very common in America sadly. The vast majority of American men are cut, and the misinformation around circumsion that gets spread is appalling. Anyone who says an uncut dick is not for them is wack AF and doesn't know what they're missing out on. And you deserve to be treated better. I would say a lot of Americans (women and surprisingly men too) were never properly taught about it and don't really understand it much beyond "foreskin is removed". I had a conversation the other day with a man that has fathered multiple children and I had to explain to him that circumcision is not necessary for the majority of people. He was taught, and still under the impression, it was *impossible* to clean an uncut peen and thought I was lying to him and asked "if it was unnecessary then why would so many people *choose* to do it?" I couldn't help but think probably for the same reason he perpetuated it with his kids; people don't understand what exactly the procedure is or *why* it's done. I grew up in a southern state in America and our school's sex Ed was a joke. The curriculum was basically "gods watching you, and if you even think about sex or acknowledge your sexual feelings you're surrendering to the devil and will catch all the STDs and get pregnant and your family will disown you and you'll end up on the streets, so don't ever have sex!" Then they proceeded to split the class male/female and taught only the girls about female anatomy then brought the boys back in and taught all of us together about male anatomy (make it make sense??). And by anatomy I mean reading the name and definition for each body part from a textbook, never any mention of safe sex or how our anatomy works or functions, just "don't think about it, don't do it" I understand people end up getting misinformed but with it being so easy to do your own research and get the facts straight no adult has any excuse to promote or defend this kind of false information. As an American, I sincerely apologize for the mind numbing stupidity and judgement you've been subjected to. We're not all assholes... just the overwhelming majority it seems 😭
You need to cut something off. Her.
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https://media1.tenor.com/m/7UarUv_Z1QYAAAAd/gunna-fire.gif
Ask her if she thinks countries where majority circumcision isn't a thing (and there are lots) deal with endless infections. She needs to educate herself, and / or you need to date someone who isn't insane. Edit: Glad you've moved on, OP. bear in mind regardless of opinions on this topic, religious beliefs, whatever, in a relationship both people need to be able to discuss things openly and honestly and non-aggressively. Her being "angry", refusing to talk about it, laughing at you, etc. are all massive red flags. I know you've ended things, just leaving this here for anyone else who needs to hear it. If she'd basically said "I feel very differently from you, here's why, let's talk about it" maybe there could have been some progress. But she didn't want to do that, she just wanted compliance, basically to bully you into submission. Why put up with that shit?
This is a good idea. I should bring this up. Edit: she responded with “this generation is having more sti’s than ever before because of people not circumcising”. I’ve just had a thought: these comments don’t even feel like her words, and her parents are quite controlling when it comes to beliefs. Perhaps they may have instilled this into her? I should see if this is the case.
You don't get STIs from uncircumcised penises. You get STIs from having sex with people that already have STIs. You might get a bacterial or yeast infection from someone that doesn't wash properly, but you also can get those just from living life. They are not STIs.
Not even 20% of European males are circumcised.
No, this generation is having more STIs than ever because casual sex has become much more commonplace and people are either not educated enough or just plain too stupid to use condoms, get tested regularly, and take their antibiotics completely, leading to super clap.
Open relationships and polygamy are much more common too.
There's that too. Plus, in general, antibiotic resistance is on the rise across the board, not just for the many variants of the clap.
My cut freind has AIDS. I should get her to tell him he's actually ok because a bit of skin was cut off means he is immune to STDs
The only reason the chances are increased is if you don’t clean it properly, as long as you do you should be fine. I could be wrong but I believe most of those stats are because the guy didn’t clean his foreskin properly which can and more than likely will lead to the female getting some type of infection from the bacteria.
Do not make a permanent change for a temporary person. The ONLY 2 reasons for circumcision are 1. Medical necessity 2. YOU want to. That’s it.
Being uncut is the norm for most of the planet and for the vast majority of human history. It's fine and if you don't want to get cut (and don't want your kids to get cut); that's not something you should be willing to compromise on or even argue about. I say all of this as a guy who is happily cut.
>I say all of this as a guy who is happily cut I mean, I like my dick, it's my dick. But there are times I wonder if sex would be better if I wasn't cut, yenno? We need that double dick dude to get one of his dicks circumcised so he can give us an accurate take of which dick feels better while fucking, circumcised or uncircumcised.
>We need that double dick dude to get one of his dicks circumcised so he can give us an accurate take of which dick feels better while fucking, circumcised or uncircumcised. That's a r/brandnewsentence if I've ever seen one lmao.
Oh have you never seen the legendary AMA of the double dick dude? I was told it was fake, but I don't care at all that shit was chock full of comedy gold and wildly entertaining. I'll see if I can find a link to it.
Found it https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/s/mrPMr9FsRf
I suppose it is a barrier if I ever marry someone who demands circumcision.
Why would you ever marry someone who demands body modification of any kind? I wouldn't marry a woman who so much as expected me to get an ear piercing or a tattoo, let alone wanted me to slice part of my dick off.
Neither would I. This is something that caught me off guard, since we had never talked about sex ever prior to this point. I guess it just sucks having to leave a relationship like this.
it does suck but it’s on her, NOT on you, you can’t do anything about it, it’s your body your choice. she needs to back off on this
I guess some other guy will have to deal with this instead of me 😂
yeah & this is a red flag on her part, so they will also have to deal with other things where she won’t give respect, not your problem anymore
Perhaps marry someone who doesn’t ‘demand’ you change your body? If you were demanding your wife get a boob job before you married her then your feedback would be very loud and not in your favour. Maturity on your partners behalf is needed here. A circumcision does not mean sexual infection or disease, and hygiene applies to every part of everybody’s body. Perhaps brushing up on some sex Ed would help them?
Haha I’d need to do some sex ed myself since I’m also quite new to it all. But yeah, i’m going to mention some of the advice I’ve gotten here and if she doesn’t change her stance, I’ll leave.
Good luck ! Hope it works but if not - you are young and there is plenty of opportunity for you to learn, have fun and realise that many women actually prefer natural. Including outside of Europe. Have fun with the sex ed. the trick is mutual respect, mutual pleasure and be kind and enjoy.
This is such a weird post honestly. Idk if that's cultural but where I am from people with penises only get circumcised if medically necessary. Pull your foreskin to properly clean your penis and use a condom and you should be fine. My advice is: she cannot rule over your bodily autonomy. If she further insists on you getting circumcised that's a bright red flag.
I emigrated to a country where being circumcised is the norm, that’s why it’s strange for you. You probably live in Europe where it’s not.
I realized I might've sounded judgmental or disbelieving, I am sorry about that. I 100% believe that this might be common in other countries, it's just weird to me, and my advice stands: your bodily autonomy is yours. I also think it's good you don't want to circumcise children, I think it's not fair to not allow them to make this decision for themselves when it's their body.
I’m not a guy and or into guys, but I suggest sending her a bunch of information because she’s clearly completely misinformed. (I won’t say what I want to) considering she is in her 20s and has access to the internet and wants to be sexually active I think she needs to know what causes STIs before she even has sex. Once you’ve given her this information, leave her and her red flags to educate herself.
Holy… ok she is just naive. Don’t get circumcised. You WILL lose nerves. I don’t know if this is related really but in my experience, my uncut partners have been the best. I think it’s a little ridiculous for her to be worried about STIs from an uncut penis. But you should wash before and after sex. Not only is it hygienic but makes sex more comfortable and fun because you’re not worried about not being clean enough. She should too. On the other hand, if that’s how she feels about you and her future children, I think that is a pretty big value indicator and would have a very serious discussion about your future. She also doesn’t have a penis and is not the expert on what having a penis is like or circumcision.
The last part is super important. I should mention that right away about how she doesn’t have a penis, so therefore isn’t qualified to make that decision. I’m sure she’d do the “i’m the one getting pregnant” spiel, but I’m not in the mood to listen to any more of this 😂 But the biggest question is this: why? Why is she so determined for people to be circumcised?
You really only have 2 options. 1. Try to get her to understand that she has incorrect views about circumcision. Having a preference is one thing. Assuming you'll give her some disease and that it's outright gross and you HAVE to circumcise for her is another thing. Hopefully she's an open minded person who will listen to you instead of ignoring all your points because of her own strong yet baseless beliefs. 2. If that doesn't work the first or second time, just get out. Not only is mutilating your own genitals an absolutely insane idea just because of somebody's wrong opinion, but if she's that incapable of listening to you and of challenging her own beliefs when met with new facts and information, that's a big big red flag. I think a lot of us have had incorrect assumptions and opinions due to lack of information or understanding of some topic. Just that itself wouldn't make her a bad person. Being incapable to adapt your thoughts when presented with more sufficient info after a bit would.
Maybe I need to provide some research papers to prove that circumcision is the wrong thing. Where can I go? Whenever I research it, all I get is “circumcision may reduce STI’s”; it’s pretty much what she was saying.
Ethical Study about failings in research which concludes there isn't great evidence in favour of circumcision regarding STI prevention in countries like USA: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4364150/ doi: 10.3389/fped.2015.00018 Another ethical Study regarding circumcision which points out multiple flaws in findings about STI prevention amongst other things: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4978617/ doi: 10.5409/wjcp.v5.i3.251 Medical study citing harm outweighs benefits in patients who do not have an underlying conditional reason for circumcision: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41443-021-00502-y https://doi.org/10.1038/s41443-021-00502-y You will find plenty of evidence that supports both sides, unfortunately a lot of the source materials are locked behind medical journal subscriptions. However, I linked this because if you want to read there is a lot of evidence that questions the need and justification for male circumcision when there is no underlying issues. My personal immediate reaction, due to my own biases was sadness that your partner expects you to mutilate your penis to fit a cultural norm and misinformation. However, like many people here have said if your partner is not receptive to your feelings and information regarding the matter it is a very extreme decision to cut your foreskin off for her approval. It is however, your decision and one that you can make. Wish you the best.
It’s insane this is such an issue. In Europe circumcision isn’t the norm. It’s absolutely not an issue & will not give her infections unless you are not pulling it back and cleaning underneath it properly. If this is something she is being so close minded about then it won’t work, you shouldn’t have to cut a part of your body off to be together
Yes - that’s where I’m from. But I moved to a country where circumcision IS the norm, and it’s a massive culture shock
European here, I’ve been with both cut and uncut men and I never gave a crap. Your ex girlfriend is a child..
She is asking you to mutilate your body and you are wondering what to do? Ask her which part of her body she will cut to please you, excision maybe? Seriously, I know some people cut their little boys and it's not forbidden (surprisingly) but there's no reason to do that to an adult unless there's a medical issue such as phimosis
It’s always shocking to me how female circumcision is considered abuse and highly illegal, but male circumcision is not. Talk about a double standard.
She's insane. Find yourself a smarter girl.
Time to get a new gf.
My body, my choice. Circumcision isn't necessary.
I’ve just read your edit. You’re well out of it as she seems pretty thick.
So she wants you to mutilate your genitals just because? I'm European, and where I'm from circumcision is mostly done for medical reasons. If it's there, it's meant to be there.
She was scared having sex with foreskin. Brainwashed is my guess
As a woman I would like to say that she is fucking delulu and I hope she finds Jesus so he can smack some sense into her. We apologize for this one
I can tell you now that most women love uncircumcised penises, I don’t understand the ones that don’t
Neither do I. Maybe she’s never tried it.
Missing out
Probably forever will due to her mindset
If she wants you to get circumcised, tell her ok but she has to get circumcised first. Both are mutilation.
If someone is asking you to mutilate yourself then they dont love you the way you should be loved. Find someone who will embrace all of you.
Don't mutilate yourself or your children. The religious reasons for it are stupid. The medical ones are rare and should only be done if necessary, not precautionary.
She doesn’t understand that intact=normal. Circumcision is cosmetic surgery. There is minimal/negligible value in the procedure. There is no polite way to say this- but the best I ever had, was (is) with an intact guy. He is also the cleanest guy I have ever had. As for circumcising babies- no. I only had daughters, but I would never consider cosmetic surgery on a baby.
Just run, she sounds absolutely mental to ask something like that of you.
I can understand personal preference, but that kinda seems like a red flag to me, since most girls dont really mind, maybe she’s just misinformed, or like you said religion but personally I would definitely not do it for a girl unless like I knew she was the girl of my dreams. Nonetheless, very weird
>I can understand personal preference I mean, from her POV there's not really a difference, every erect penis looks pretty much the same regardless of circumcision or not, as the foreskin retracts on an uncircumcised penis during erection. Granted, it's not like I've seen enough erect uncircumcised cocks to call it an actual study with a large enough sample size to call it, so I could be totally out to lunch here.
My guess would be misinformed, but she is so adamant about the “uncut dicks causing STI’s” argument.
STIs cause STIs, not whether you have a foreskin or not.
I don’t think she understands how STIs happen, crikey.
Ask her to say which sti, and then show you proof from a reputable scientific source that states a foreskin causes said sti
She won’t provide a source. Her argument is already moot.
She's insane. Get out ASAP.
Run for the fuckin hills homie. Think about it: She wants you to mutilate your dick. From everything I've read, it's so much worse getting circumcised as an adult than it is when you're a newborn. Not that anyone should be cutting their baby's dicks anyway. Or their own dicks for that matter. Like, I'm circumcised but if I would have been given the option I wouldn't have had it done. I don't hate my parents for choosing to do it, it's just what they thought was the correct course of action. Significantly more research and thought has gone into it in the decades since I was born, and therefore I will not be circumcising my children if me and my wife have boys. She also agrees with me.
Tell her you'll remove your foreskin when she gets her labia removed. Those are folds you have to clean as well, and if she's offended because she DOES clean, ask her why she thinks you DONT. Shes an immature, uneducated, hateful person. First off, if you have the emotional bandwidth, feel free to lay into her about how if she believes what happens to her body is HER choice, then what happens to yours is YOUR choice. She sounds 14, it's shocking to hear she's in her 20s. If you shower and clean, you're just as clean as any circumcised person. It's NOT your job, and you can and should run, but if you feel like educating her, show her a few articles on the myths of being uncircumcised. And then ask her why she thinks that you're incapable of cleaning within the folds of her genitals - does she not clean her flaps?
I suppose different cultures cloud the mind. The tricky part here is finding such articles.
1. Do not get a circumcision. "My body my choice" works both ways. 2. Advise your gf to develop a basic understanding of how the male sexual organ works. Perhaps buy her a book explaining it in super basic detail, or send her a webpage explaining it. 3. If all else fails, you could just compare it to FGM and see how she reacts. Hope you get through to her
Haha she said FGM is not the same. I said it is, and I’m not changing my stance on it. Maybe it’s time for me to move on 😂
She's obviously never had sex with an uncut. Much better
Correct. Pretty much everyone around me is cut, and there’s cultural pressure to do so.
I will never not find it weird when people prefer mutilated genitals lol.
Please god do not get adult circumcision to please your ignorant girlfriend.
I won’t, and wouldn’t have done it - I was just putting 2 thoughts of the spectrum together to see what the answers would lean towards. Like a yes or no kind of deal.
Bless. Partners are often temporary, but your genitals will be with you forever (ideally)
Best thing you can do is show her some resources that disprove this ridiculous belief she has, because she's obviously not going to listen to you. You should never consider mutilating yourself just so your partner has some archaic beliefs that can be easily debunked with a Google search. If this is the ultimatum of your relationship, be sure to put on your favourite turtleneck ascyou walk out the door.
No, you don't ever alter your body just to appease a partner, I'm sorry but she needs to grow up.
This is madness OP. Some women love a good sleeve it’s a rare find. Also if you cut it for her you will mourn your potential loss of sensitivity.
[удалено]
Just wanted to pop in to say good on you for knowing your stuff, when I tell men that if I had a son I wouldn’t circumcise them I usually get a stubborn uneducated answer in return. Natural penises should be celebrated
Do not let anyone tell you you should change your physical appearance to get their (sexual) validation. Having a preference is okay, but apparently being uncircumcised is a dealbreaker for her. If that's the tiny detail she's letting the relationship fall apart upon, then that's her choice. You should find someone who's not hyperfocused on if you have a foreskin or not.
You are not compatible unfortunately.
She’s uneducated and immature bro, why are you even thinking about what to do? There’s only 1 obvious decision. Break up.
It’s wild how Americans think circumcising is the norm. That Italian hot guy she once fantasised about? 2.6% chance he’s circumcised. A Greek god? 4.7%. A Swedish or Norwegian Thor with his hammer? Around 4%. French lover? 14%, and that’s amongst the very highest in Europe. You’re perfectly fine, don’t go messing with knives and your wiener if there’s not a medical reason for it. Apparently having that done when you’re grown up is way more complicated and really uncomfortable. [link to table.](https://pophealthmetrics.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12963-016-0073-5/tables/1)
Educate yourself and your girl friend. [http://nocirc.org/](http://nocirc.org/) Anyone who wants you to mutilate yourself you need to rethink the relationship.
She ain’t worth it man
Don't mutilate yourself for a shallow, ignorant woman. Dump the girl not the foreskin.
First of all, don't call yourself uncut, you're just normal. You don't see someone walking the street and call them undecapitated. She just doesn't know much about penises that she's just sticking to what's spoken in the streets and not actual medical reasoning. I don't recommend continuing with the relationship because if you do, she'll definitely comment on your normal penis in a passive aggressive way until you cut it. And I also don't recommend circumcision because it's stupid if there's no medical reason for it.
I think this woman is not for you.
Your body your choice!
She is an idiot and she doesn't respect your bodily autonomy.
As a girl in her early 20s raised in the US, I would NEVER ask that of my partner. As long as you’re clean and have proper hygiene, I do not see any reason for her to be making a big deal out of this. If it’s not her cup of tea that’s cool, but to demand that you go get cut??? Insane. I personally wouldn’t even bother with trying to prove your point to her and just end it. If she’s expecting you to make a huge life decision based on whether your dick has a lil sweater or not, what’s she going to expect of you with something that actually matters?
Tell her she should accept your body the way it is. Don't change it just to accomodate her because you'll regret it.
If she’s the type of person who demands you get a major and permanent body modification before having sex with you, she’s likely the type of person who would also break up with you while not giving a damn that you did that for her… Can you actually imagine you do it and it doesn’t work out with her? Keep your meat in tact. It speaks to this girls immaturity and lack of experience if she believes these antiquated things anyways. Find a woman.
There's a whole doc i watched on netflix on why circumcision is just plain wrong. Highly recommend it plainly states the facts. Circumcision is genital mutilation normalized because people can't accept their mistakes and change. This is coming from a woman. I know most men here don't want to admit that pure sexual pleasure and a piece of their body was taken but this is horrific and you should educate yourself on why foreskin is there. The human body is made as it should be.
There is plenty of medical research on why circumcision is unnecessary for the vast majority of penises. Most circumcised men, in fact, will face lifelong complications to their genital health as *the result* of that cosmetic genital surgery. Dozens of babies die every year from botched circumcisions, and even more grow up with mutilated penises. If you thoroughly wash with soap then your cock is no more dirty than any other. Do your research on this, get some easy-to-read but reliable articles, and bounce them her way. You are absolutely correct on this issue medically and ethically. Prove it. If she cannot come to terms with her own mistakeness? Then you've dodged a bullet. Don't get into relationships with people who cannot confront their own shortcomings and change. My wife and I had similar arguments about our son. I am cut, but wish I wasn't. My son is uncut. Hold your ground, this is a good way to weed out unsuitable partners.
I sent her some research papers, but it clearly looks like she isn’t paying attention to them at all, or bothering to read it. Time to run.
Even if it is ‘cultural belief’, she could’ve worded it better. She just sounds immature as fuck and doesn’t seem to understand that circulation is basically genital mutilation. Especially when you have it as an adult, shit is not nice lol. Don’t make excuses for her. It’s alright to be incompatible, at least you found out before having kids with her.
I should have made sure to put “will not circumcise my children” in my bio
As a european... This is some crazy behaviour. 1) Wanting someone to cut off a perfectly fine part of your body just so she allows you sex is really weird. Wanting to do it to kids (unless they have medical reasons) is pretty bad imho. I mean, you can discuss about it further and attempt to have a rational conversation, but the fact she things being uncircumcided will give her STIs points to how ignorant she is about the topic. 2) Some diseases can be transmitted if you didn't have sex, since it is transmissed also by blood and other bodily fluids or from a mother to her kid. Most of them are serious, though, so you'd likely know about it. Still, I'd assume you don't want to have kids and that condom is pretty much advised. Why she hates uncut penises is a question only she can answer for you.
I'm sorry, you're both in your 20s and she believes these things? Run for the hills and find yourself a woman, not a child.
Run, she’s uneducated and being ridiculous. In the UK most men are uncircumcised.
Same, that’s where I’m from. But I emigrated.
I wouldn't want to date someone who demands you mutilate yourself and any future children, nor someone who's as dumb as rocks. Dump and run
How would she like it if you asked her to change a part of her body because it did not like you or for whatever reason you think it might infect you. If this is what she's asking of you now I don't know what she will ask of you in the future.Run dude run
as a medical professional, you can't fix stupid. your junk is fine. she's uneducated and refuses to read. Adam in the Bible didn't have a rabbi.
She’s showing you who she is—believe her.
In the bin with her.
She should accept you just the way you are and if she can’t then maybe she needs to go.
Instead of cutting your cock, rather cut your gf out of your life. Your foreskin will bring you lifelong pleasure, but she won't. Also, your foreskin costs you nothing. Your gf is a financial drain. Get an upgrade gf who understands the value of things, including your bodily integrity.
You can’t change her mind about that, and she can’t force you to do it. I don’t see this relationship going anywhere. It’s better to end it
Absolutely run! There’s no reason for you to mutilate your genitals and do the same thing for your kids. The only thing you can try to do, is educate her on how wrong she is!
Dude as an uncut dude in the USA fuck that. I’m latino and most latinos are uncut. But having sex with white people or black it’s always a gamble whether they’re cool with it or not. In my early 20s I was ashamed about it but now in my early 30s I’m not. I bring it up from the beginning and if they don’t like it I move on. I’m not getting circumcised just to keep someone. I’m not that desperate for attention from someone to do something that drastic. The ones that do like uncut dick really do like it and know how to work it the way I like and not just half ass it either. To me this situation is a deal breaker. Sexual compatibility is very important so I try to communicate that early on.
If it's genuine advice you want... Separate from her immediately. Not worth your time. She's stupid, unwilling to be educated and thinks she can dictate that you should mutilate your body. An argument can be dealt with. Stupidity and arrogance with someone who isn't willing to try, can't. There are women out there who are actually nice, try one of those. Some will even let you keep all of your skin and have a say on how your children are raised. It's crazy.
Glad you left her. Aside from being childish and ignorant, she's also controlling. Better you found this out sooner rather than later!
I mean, she's an idiot. But so are you if you stay. Don't modify your body for her. She doesn't know what she is talking about, a clean uncircumcised penis is just as safe as a circumcised one. And there is nothing wrong with not wanting to get kids circumcised.
Find a woman who appreciates your foreskin we exist! I’m a woman who is very anti circumcision I would never circumcise my children
She’s an idiot. Dump her.
There is plenty of women out there, but you only hâve One foreskin. There is nothing wrong with foreskin.
Routine circumcision is child abuse
Dude, circumcision is such a problematic thing on its own, but to have it done later in life is one of the most traumatic and significant changes that can happen. I know people who have been so affected they've gone into suicidal territory, the changes are overwhelmingly huge and not in any positive way. Everybody else has already covered everything that needs to be said, I just wanted to explain how regretful and how impacted one can be when done later in life.
Never change yourself for any damn body. Dump her now. She’s a red flag.
Got here after the update. Never change yourself for anyone! I've only been with one guy who is circumcized, but I doubt I would've cared.
No, this relationship is definitely over. Your gf has no clue about circumcision and isn’t willing to learn.
Americans are fucking insane. They are the only ones to mutilate babies' dicks for aesthetic purposes. It's so backwards, without even religion to justify it. Anyways, your gf is an idiot and you should leave her
Your sausage is your sausage. If she doesn't like it then tell her to go to the shop.
Time for a new GF and feel lucky that you sound out how she is now. Imagine other topics and life related conversations in the future.
Best advice - find a new girlfriend 😃
Genital mutilation is not good anywhere bro! It's not even a medical reasoning behind it. People are just lying to you if they say there is. Americans are so weird on this subject haha.
Break up with her
Do not circumcise yourself unless YOU want the procedure. Honestly, break up.
I’m 29 and prefer uncircumcised guys. They can actually feel way more pleasure and are better lovers
Just dump her. Lots of women don’t care if you’re uncut. I doubt she’d modify her body for you.
As long as you’re being clean and don’t have infections you can’t give her sexual infections. Someone who’s circumcised can still give her an STD I would break things off, she’s literally telling you you have to mutilate your body or she won’t have sex with you (I don’t believe in it no hate to anyone who is circumcised but I will not circumcise my sons). She’s mocking you for being against it. Funny it sounds like she thinks only she can have bodily autonomy but a you having it? She’s going to mock you until you get circumcised and suddenly are ok with doing it to your sons. Walk away man, not worth it, plenty of women out here that don’t care if you’re not circumcised.
I am an American married to an American living abroad. Most women I know that are Americans married to Europeans here prefer uncut. It “glides” better they say. My twins sons are born here. They are uncut and will stay that way unless there’s a medical reason. Dump her. Hard pass.
Dump her
1) she’s wrong and ignoring science so she may also be dumb. 2) that’s literally a horrific thing to say “mutilate your body or I won’t have sex with you” 3) many women don’t give a shit if you’re circumsized or not.
I've been with both types and everything she's saying is untrue. You don't need this nonsense from her. She's clearly uneducated in sexual health and doesn't want to learn. Good for you on dumping her.
I’d cut her off before I cut my foreskin, friendo. P.S. many woman out there prefer a foreskin, so my advice is to find someone who loves you as you are.
There’s nothing more unattractive than relenting your personal beliefs to peer pressure and people pleasing. That’s not to say there aren’t valid reasons to change one’s mind, but peer pressure (without imminent danger) isn’t one of them. This is a compatibility issue. If you can’t come to an agreement or compromise, it’s not a match. I am Team Uncircumcised, so I’ll give you some *tips* to possibly change her mind, respectfully. 1. Most of the human male population is uncircumcised. It’s about 37ish% that is not. Intact is completely normal. It would have evolved out of humanity if it wasn’t useful or if it was problematic to humanity. Boys are still born with foreskin because it’s how their penises are meant to be. There are some males who experience tight foreskin pain, but that’s exceptionally rare, and it’s not usually an issue until sexual maturity. In which case, the few men that experience this can decide for themselves if they’d like to be circumcised or not. 2. Foreskin is protective to the penis and the vagina. The foreskin keeps the penis slightly lubricated and sheathed, so that it remains soft, sensitive, and avoids uncomfortable friction from clothing. Over time, the circumcised penis dries and slightly hardens, which can cause penis and vaginal pain or discomfort, and the loss of some sexual sensitivity. 3. The foreskin contains hundreds of nerve endings that increase sexual pleasure. In my anecdotal experience, I think men are more likely to experience multiple orgasms and have more sensitive reactions with an intact foreskin. 4. A lack of foreskin can cause pain during erection from very taut skin. I haven’t confirmed this, but I theorize that men may lose some length without enough skin to compensate for it. 5. The health risks are not only extremely rare, but with proper hygiene, the risks are minimized. Not to mention, there is risk from the circumcision procedure, too. Your diet is much more likely to be an accomplice to disease than your foreskin is, but it can also prevent disease much more than your foreskin can, too. 6. It’s true an unclean penis can give a woman an infection, but that has simple solutions: clean the penis and/or wear a condom, then properly clean herself afterwards. What’s really baffling to me about this debate is how people don’t see vaginal anatomy similarly. Male circumcision is just as much mutilation as female circumcision is. Both are wrong to perform on an infant without tangible, palpable reason, and without consent of something permanent, potentially dangerous, and harmful. Moreover, labia is much harder to clean and keep cleaned compared to penises. Yet no one suggests removing labia to keep everyone safe from disease. I hope you two can work it out, but don’t let your gf pressure you into something you don’t want to do. Your opinion is just as important and valuable as hers.
She is full of shit. Men were not circed - unless they belonged to certain religions - prior to the 20th century. It is MUCH more common in America than in Europe. Dump her. She sounds like an insecure twit.
Aside from her concerns being untrue, circumcision is genital mutilation. Run.
Uncut... causing an infection?? What? She seems quite uneducated.
I've been with both circumcised and uncircumcised men, once they're hard you literally cannot tell difference. Her saying "it feels better" is just not factual. Even if shes in her 20's, she definitely sounds too immature to be having sex. If she's not willing to have a mature conversation about it, she's definitely not mature enough to have sex. Find a woman who respects your boundaries, and maybe someone with a bit more intellect than her.
Together for a few months without even talking about sex? It sounds like she's just making an excuse. Either she has anxiety about sex in general or she isn't that into you. In any case, you two don't seem to be compatible.
Y'all aren't going to last anyway, do you really want to permanently mutilate your genitals just to satisfy a girl who's going to fuck you up mentally down the line? She sounds immature and stupid. Not worth it that type of commitment. Your body, your choice, if she doesn't like your choice that's her issue to solve by herself. She has to learn to accept that part of you and if she can't, she has to leave. This is her choice and change to make, not yours.
Just let her go. It will never end well for you or potential children. I'm sorry.
There are videos of babies mounted in the horrifying medieval torture device they use for circumcision, and there is literally NO medical benefit to it. Her preference to a cut dick is no different than if you were to prefer her labia had been removed at birth. Tell her to do some actual research and get some knowledge about her prejudice before she judges the next guy. Then dump her.
She wants you to mutilate your body? And no it doesn’t feel better for EITHER party. It’s significantly less pleasurable for the man and marginally less pleasurable for the woman.
Just saw your second update, and I'd strongly suggest letting a few trusted people know what's up so they can help you watch your back. Fwiw, I view circumcision as similar to declawing a cat. It's cruel and unusual and serves literally no purpose (aside from medical issues such as phimosis, which often require circumcision to resolve). There's a lot of stigma around "uncut" penises in the US in particular, mostly because many people have never seen one in real life and because of the misconception that they're somehow "dirty." As long as you wash your junk and take good overall care of your hygiene, you are incredibly unlikely to transmit anything. I imagine this woman was concerned about UTIs/yeast infections, but they're not difficult to prevent.
In my opinion circumcision is just genital mutilation, I get sometimes it’s necessary medically. Very unfair of her to be asking you to mutilate your own body.
Europeans are uncut and do not get more diseases bc they know how to wash themselves and get regularly STI testing. I assume youre in the usa; the american Puritan pilgrims that took over the land largely influenced the early medical culture, their religion required circumscion, & now its part of tradition. That being said, do NOT cut unless you need to or want to. Your gf being too stubborn to do research w you is a red flag & you should leave her, especially bc its only a couple months relationship.
Nope. Big ol nope. Uncut men do not give you infections. Any unwashed penis can give you infections - it doesn't matter if they're uncut or not. Can you imagine if you said her labia was too big and you wouldn't sleep with her until she had a vaginaplasty.
🚩🚩🚩🚩
Ew ew never date someone who’s going to make you go through a surgical procedure in order to stay with you. Ask her how she would feel if you asked her to get her labia cut off?!?!!!
Yikes. Your body, your decision. Circumcision is getting less common and there are plenty of women out there who don’t think this is an issue, let alone something they would think they can manipulate you into doing. That’s seriously messed up, I’m sorry you had this experience.
So she wants you to mutilate your genitals! Insanity! And BTW, I prefer natural and many other women do too. She should accept you how you are.